Most of the historical heroes I write about are lords or sons of lords. They’re men who are allowed to have hobbies, but for the most part aren’t supposed to be employed. Working is gauche, don’t you know.

There’s a bit more leeway with second sons or nephews of dukes, etc., but that’s where another problem comes in. A historical romance is a fantasy, but it’s also historical. So what’s an appropriate occupation for a working historical romance hero?

Judith Ivory, in The Proposition, makes her hero a Cornish rat catcher. I think Mick’s kind of an exception to the rule, however. In After the Kiss, my hero Sullivan Waring owns a breeding stable. He does work for a living, but he gets to ride horses and be the best at what he does.

My November book, Rules of an Engagement, features Captain Bradshaw Carroway, a second son who’s made his way as a British naval officer. Very nice uniforms, too. I’ve made several of my heroes soldiers – or officers, more specifically – in King George III’s army. Beyond serving the country as an officer or a spy, or of course just being rich and unemployed, finding that perfect heroic occupation becomes more difficult.

I own a book called The Worst Jobs in History. Among the worst Georgian period jobs, it lists the Riding Officer, the guy who had to ride up and down the coast watching for smugglers. The locals all hated him, he had to provide his own horse, and smugglers worked on the murkiest, wettest, coldest nights. Another one was the Bath Guide. He (or she) helped visitors into the waters of the Bath spas. They wore canvas smocks and stayed in the hot water for 12 hours a day. The high iron content of the waters turned their skin orange. And the pee and…yuck coming off all the ill people who took the waters floated around them the whole time, until the baths were closed for the day and the Bath Guide had to stay and clean them up for the next day.

A man could also find employment as a professional Hermit. He would be hired to live in a cave on some lord’s landscaped properties to provide ambience and to remind the wealthy owner that life could be so much worse than it was. The usual term of service was seven years, and a number of them killed themselves before the contract was up. (By the way, when I googled “Crazy Hermit”, a photo of Obi-Wan Kenobi came up.)

Of course there were also jobs in trade, like Saddle Maker, Button Maker, Carpet Weaver, Baker, Cooper, Potter, and Ship-Builder. Or Castrato – which wouldn’t make for much of a romance.

What’s the most unusual historical occupation you’ve seen for a hero? Do any of these “worst jobs” sound like they could be a hero’s employment? What’s the worst job you can think of in all of history?

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Yesterday over lunch my best friend reminded me that it’s time to go look at the new Hallmark Christmas ornaments. This is about the time of year the 2010 Star Wars, Star Trek, Pirates of the Caribbean, and other “specialty” ornaments hit the shelves. I used to ask for them for Christmas, but soon realized that by December they were all sold out. So now I purchase all the ones I want and put them in a sack by the front door. Whoever wants to give me one as a gift exchanges a check or cash for an ornament over the rest of the year. I don’t look at the sack again until after the holidays so I’ll be surprised by what I’ve been given.

I justify this self-gifting by telling myself that not only are they gifts, they are part of my collection. How can I sit by and watch pieces of my collection pass by without making a grab for them? That’s just wrong.

But my point is, it’s just barely July, and I’m thinking about Christmas. When I went to Target yesterday they had just put out all their back-to-school supplies, and this makes me shake my head. For crying out loud, school just ended like 10 days ago. How can a poor kid settle into summer when he goes to the store looking for flip-flops and sees his Fall supplies already waiting for him?

And do I need to start thinking about Halloween in August? Or Valentine’s day on January 2nd? I’m still enjoying Christmas and New Year’s Day. Or I’d like to. I truly don’t like thinking about Christmas in July, either. I’d be perfectly happy if Hallmark didn’t release their Holiday Collections until, well, the holidays.

The worst is when I go into a clothing store in, oh, August, looking for summer clothes on sale (because it’s still 95 freakin’ degrees outside), and what’s on the racks? Turtlenecks. Winter coats. Suede. Sweaters. Just seeing them there is enough to give me heat stroke. It makes the weather seem even hotter and more miserable than it already is. Now in my family it’s a tradition to not begin playing holiday music until the day after Thanksgiving. August is a bit excessive.

Do you like plenty of advance warning before a holiday? Do you find that the pre-holiday push by stores, etc., diminishes both the holiday and the time before it, or does it help to heighten your anticipation? What should the decorating/sales cut-offs be for holidays?

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I don’t want anyone to think I haven’t been doing my duty as a movie-going goddess geek, so here are a few of my impressions for the latest round of movies:

Prince of Persia – As I think I’ve mentioned before, I love playing the video games. They have adventure and romance and some pretty snappy dialogue on occasion. The movie didn’t quite have the high-flying acrobatics of the game, but Jake Gyllenhaal did look very, very nice. I’d rate it a go-and-have-some-popcorn and have a good time movie.

Iron Man 2 – Again, if a movie makes me laugh or smile and forget that I have to go home and clean something, then it was worth the money. That said, while IM2 wasn’t quite as fresh as the first one, it was fun. I like a hero who’s aware of his flaws.

Robin Hood – I have kind of mixed feelings about this one. To me it was like they tried to cram a miniseries into one movie. There were way too many characters and subplots to give any one of them enough screen time. It did look pretty dirty and gritty.

The Karate Kid – I’ve been a “wax on, wax off” KK fan from way back, and I was ready to write this movie off as an excuse for Hollywood to once again not come up with something original. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I actually enjoyed it – probably just as much as the first one. Two big thumbs up.

The A-Team – In college I submitted a script for the original A-Team series, and it was under consideration at the time the show was canceled. I therefore consider myself a total A-Team geek authority. And I loved the movie. It had the chemistry and the humor and the bigger than life explosions and the witty one-liners, and it was just a good, exciting time. And stay through the end credits. Two more big thumbs up.

Toy Story 3 – I will never throw another toy away. I promise. They will all have good homes, and I’ll even make sure the ones in boxes can get out if they need to. I love this movie series, and it ends just so perfectly it made me cry. Three thumbs up.

What’ve you seen this summer? What are you waiting for, and which movies will you pass on?

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I’ve only cried at the deaths of two celebrities: Jim Henson, and Jacques-Yves Cousteau. Yesterday was the 100th anniversary of the birth of Cousteau, and it’s left me feeling a little nostalgic.

I remember being in junior high and high school and on the days the biology teacher was out sick, we’d watch films. I used to look forward to those days – not that I wished anyone ill or even that I didn’t enjoy biology, but I LOVED watching the Jacques Cousteau films. And I never missed an episode of The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau on television. I still do a pretty good imitation of him, too, if I say so myself. Ahem.

When I was about 14 during a visit to my grandfather’s house in Pacific Grove, California, one of his fishing buddies came to see him. This guy (I can’t remember his name) arrived wearing a red beanie. Yes, he had actually sailed on the Calypso with Jacques Cousteau. And he told me the beanie story: Once while on shore one of Cousteau’s men ordered a very expensive and delicate piece of equipment. They needed to truck it down some rough roads to the dock and get it safely aboard the Calypso, and the only thing they could find in this town to cushion the instrument was at a tourist shop – a big box of red beanie hats.

Though I’m not trying to give a history lesson, did you know that Jacques invented the aqualung? And he was the first to bring the underwater world into our living rooms. (Coincidentally, for my nephew’s Hero report last month, he was assigned Jacques Cousteau, so all this stuff is pretty fresh in my mind. *g*)

Anyway, I’ve always admired Cousteau. He had a kind of tumultuous private life, but I love what he did for conservation and awareness of the oceans.

Do you have a hero? Is there a figure, famous or not so famous, whose life and/or work you admire?

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I have a confession to make. Well, several of them.

While I do like the “pretty” men, the classically handsome Hugh Jackmans (or is that Jackmen?) of the world, I have a…a thing for some men who perhaps don’t have those angled jawlines or look awesome in a tuxedo. There’s a certain something about them that just attracts me.

For instance, I’ve loved William H. Macy for years. Even when he played kind of weaselly characters like the one in Fargo. And he was awesome in Airforce One. He just seems like a nice guy. And boy, can he act.

Bill Murray is another man whose work I adore. Okay, I didn’t like Lost in Translation, but I LOVED him in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. And Groundhog Day. And Ghostbusters. And Larger than Life (with an elephant and a young Matthew McConaghey as a crazy truck driver). The man is not classically handsome, but I just adore watching him act.

And then there’s Steve Buscemi. I can’t think of a single role where I didn’t just love seeing him on screen. From Armageddon to Fargo to Desperado, he keeps my attention and my interest. I don’t know why, but he does.

Is it just me? Who’s your favorite unconventional leading man?

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We all know that a romance hero is (generally) very different from a real-life one. The bad qualities can be exaggerated and still forgiven, because frequently the lengths the hero goes to in order to finally win over the heroine are far beyond reality, too. The colors are more vibrant, the conversations are crisper and wittier, and the sex is better.

There is one characteristic that I value just as highly in real life as I do in a fictional romance, however. A sense of humor. I ALWAYS prefer a hero with a sense of humor. The hard part, however, is to make him strong and manly and still amusing. Robin Williams may be funny, but I don’t find him very sexy, for example. And I don’t think I would like Indiana Jones as much as I do if not for his occasional flashes of sarcastic humor.

And yet, how do you take a serious story – like that of Tolly James, a man who’s survived a horrific attack in which he nearly lost his leg and his struggle to regain his humanity, for example – and still make it funny? I actually look to real life for my inspiration. There’s a story, for instance, about a colonel, I believe, who served on the Duke of Wellington’s personal staff. The Iron Duke didn’t have much tolerance for excuses or dramatics. Apparently while sitting on horseback on a hill overlooking some battle on the Peninsula, a cannonball struck the colonel in the leg. He cried out, “oh, my leg’s off!” Wellington lowered his spyglass and glanced over. “So it is,” he said, and returned to his view of the battle.

Now I’ve never used that exact quote in a book, but I do frequently think of it when I’m writing. It’s such a masterful undercutting of the obvious that you almost have to laugh, however horrible the actual event that inspired it. My heroes understate – or overstate – the obvious quite a bit. I can give them their drama and let us laugh at it, so to speak.

Who are your favorite heroes? Do they have a sense of humor? Can you think of a hero who doesn’t have a sense of humor? And do you plan to read about Tolly James in A Lady’s Guide to Improper Behavior?

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I like to play video games. I had a Nintendo (the old one where Mario could only move from left to right on the screen). I still have a Nintendo 2, where the characters can actually move toward and away from the screen.

I also have a Playstation 2, which I thought was just amazing. Three weeks ago, though, I purchased a Playstation 3. Now the characters climb mountains, swing on ropes, talk, drip blood, and have their own theme music.

The only limiting factor are the kinds of games I prefer. I don’t, for example, like “real” war games. It’s too violent, and they feel too real – I don’t like the idea that I’m shooting or blowing up an actual person. I don’t like the games centered around being bad, like the Grand Theft Auto games.

What I do like are the more fantasy-based games, in particular Prince of Persia. For one thing he’s handsome, and there are strategies and puzzles to be solved. I don’t even mind that every girl he comes across has triple F bazooms and a waist the size of a pencil – I understand that most of the game players are teenage boys. (And it’s going to be a movie this summer starring Jake Gyllenhall). Likewise God of War. It’s much more violent than PoP, but hey, it has an interesting storyline, cyclopseses and minotaurs and is narrated by Linda Hunt.

Recently I bought Dragon Age, which is a role-playing game along the lines of the old Dungeons and Dragons. You get to create your own character, choose sex, race (human, elf, or dwarf), hair color, nose and chin and cheek dimensions, facial tattoos, etc. I don’t know if it’s the romance writer in me or what, but I spent about an hour making myself a man. He has light green eyes, bone white hair, blue Pict-like tattoos around his eyes, and high cheekbones. And no facial hair except for a rather elegant pair of reddish-brown eyebrows. Oh, and his name is Mako. Like the shark. So far he’s been killed about 79 times, which is a bit disturbing, but one of us is getting a little better at playing.

Do you like video games? Which kind? Or do you prefer more old-fashioned fun? And has somebody come up with a game that features good-looking guys, an intelligent storyline, and no bimbos?

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