You know the song in THE SOUND OF MUSIC that goes, “These are a few of my favorite things?”

“Whiskers on kittens… brown paper packages tied up with string.”

I don’t agree with some of Julie Andrews’s choices. While kittens are adorable, their whiskers are not that appealing to me. Whiskers are not attractive on a show horse either, since it’s a sign of poor grooming. And on men… well, a five-o’clock shadow can be sexy on some guys, but if you have to kiss them, whiskers just feel like sandpaper.

I’m not fond of brown paper either, but I guess I should remember that song was written about a time before glitzy wrapping paper came into vogue. And back then brown paper packages meant presents. I’m okay with presents. I like them usually. But I can list a lot of things that beat out presents for my favorite things.

So fellow goddesses, since quizzes are a great get-to-know-you vehicle, and since I like to learn about the goddesses I hang with, this is another chance to talk about some of our fave things.

What are some of your favorite things and why? Name your favorite:
-LOVE SONG
-ROMANTIC MOVIE
-ROMANTIC STAR IN MOVIES OR TV
-PLACE TO READ
-READING MATERIAL (newspapers, magazines, novels, non-fiction, how-to manuals, on-line sources, etc.)
-FICTION GENRE/SUBGENRE (literary, historicals, mysteries, paranormal, etc.)
-Complete the following sentence: To me READING IS  better than
       a) TV and movies
       b) chocolate
       c) sex
       d) as necessary as breathing

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I’m talking about plot threads, not cleaning. You see, I like mine tied up neat and tidy. Yes, I’ve noticed that real life doesn’t work that way. No, I don’t care. That’s why I prefer popular fiction to literary fiction–because popular fiction ties up loose threads, resolves conflict, and settles things.

Unfortunately, these days no book, television show, or movie is considered sophisticated unless it leaves plot threads hanging. Look at how the critics salivated over the “brilliant” series finale of “The Sopranos.” Me, I just got mad. I felt like the show had engaged me for six seasons, then left me swinging in the wind. No justice for Adriana and no self-awareness for Tony OR Carmela. The series began and ended with the characters going nowhere, just like in real life. Remind me again of why I watch TV?

What bugs me is that literary fiction didn’t used to be biased against tidy resolutions. Whether Shakespeare’s plays ended happily or tragically, they wrapped everything up nicely. So did Jane Austen’s books and virtually every other nineteenth-century novel. Then along came the age of naturalism and realism. Suddenly, literary fiction was expected to eliminate any shred of tidiness. “Life is messy,” said the critics, “so fiction should be, too.”

Balderdash, I say. Fiction has more uses than to mirror real life. It’s supposed to take us OUT of real life, help us cope. And as a writer, I can tell you it’s harder to tie up loose ends believably than to leave things messy. Messy takes no skill—that’s why bad literary novels abound. Tidy is hard work.

Still, I seem to be in an ever-shrinking minority. Even romance reviewers now complain if a book or a series ends TOO neatly. There is no such thing to me. I may not be a tidy housekeeper, but I like tidy books.

Anybody else share my love of tidiness in plots? Be honest now, and pay no attention to my crankiness (I AM on deadline). I promise not to judge you even if I can’t share your preference. Do you like all the plot threads resolved? Or do you get a certain thrill out of messiness? Does it depend on the kind of book you’re reading, messy for some kinds, tidy for others?

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Okay, that’s an exaggeration. I don’t exactly read backwards. But I DO read the ends of books long before I get to them. Feel free to scream at me now.

What? No screaming? Is that because some of you ALSO read the ends of books first? Plenty of people do, you know. They just lie about it. Mainly because the never-read-the-end people have a tendency to gaze at us in horror and then try to convert us into not reading the end, which is never going to happen. Trust me.

That’s because we read the end for a reason. I don’t know what other people’s reasons are, but here’s mine: I can’t stand the tension. No matter how much I tell myself that the book will end satisfactorily (I KNOW that any of the goddesses’ books will have a wonderful ending), I can’t believe it until I actually see how it will be done. And because of that fear of what might lie at the journey’s end, I rush through the book without savoring the wonderful moments the author has put in just to give me pleasure. So reading the end first defuses the tension. It literally enables me to enjoy the book more.

In fact, the better the book, the more likely I am to read the end shortly after I begin. Sometimes I (gasp, horror) even skim ahead. I’ll admit it’s a delicate process, but I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I’ve even mastered the art of reading the HEA of romances that contain a mystery … without actually learning the answer to the mystery. Once in a great while I do screw up–I ruined Mary Jo Putney’s Lady of Fortune for myself by skimming ahead so often that I ended up knowing too much. I went from unbearable tension to no tension at all. But luckily for me, I’m getting old, and I’m starting to forget what I read. So even when I screw up, I get a second chance. I figure in a couple more years, I’ll be able to try Lady of Fortune again.

By the way, I also occasionally watch movies backwards. I saw the last twenty minutes of The Family Stone not long ago and liked it, so the next time I was surfing channels and found it at an earlier point, I watched from there. I finally saw the beginning a week later. Would I have liked it better if I’d watched it straight through? I don’t know. I liked it just fine in pieces. Yes, I’m weird (but you knew that).

What about you? Do you read the ends of books? (Tell the truth now.) If you do, then why? Do you do it with every book or just certain ones? And have you ever enjoyed a movie in backwards pieces?

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Summer means fun for a lot of people: school kids, teachers, families, boaters, swimmers, mountain-climbers, tennis players…

 Summer is fun for me partly because I’m cold-natured and I can stay warm.

That isn’t the case for my hubby and friends who are avid skiers. Even though they enjoy hiking and biking and rafting during the warm season, they’re already counting the days until the first snowfall. In fact, they’re holding a Summer Solstice party next week to celebrate the days getting shorter, which means ski season is getting closer.

But since summer is almost upon us, this seems a good time to ask about everyone’s plans for vacations or just plain fun.

I’ve taken several trips recently, so sadly I won’t be indulging in more anytime soon. Instead I’ll mostly be keeping my cute little tush (okay, maybe it’s not so little) in my computer desk chair writing my next book. But I can live vicariously, can’t I?

So please tell me, do you have any special plans for summer fun? Is it something you really want to do, or are you accommodating someone else’s wishes? Will you be with family or friends, or all by yourself? And if you go on vacation, would you let me come along in your suitcase if I promise to supply the margaritas (or beverage of your choice)?

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In KarenHawkins’s recent Match Quiz, I learned some astonishing things about my fellow resident goddesses. I was shocked – shocked, let me tell you – by some of the disclosures.

Claudia is a brazen streetwalker. Karen Rose is a felon. Suzanne has an alien ear fetish. Sabrina could be foaming at the mouth right now (shudder). And Jello and strawberry pie played significant roles in Rachel’s and KarenH’s lives (I’ll bet they haven’t even shared the whole juicy stories yet.)

Alas, as an engineering geek, I’ve led such a tame life in comparison. I’ve never been to Guatemala, let alone been thrown in prison there. The closest I came was taking the overnight train through East Germany to Berlin with my highschool tennis team and watching guards carrying machine guns walk the tracks in case one of us tried to escape the locked train (as if we would ever want to.)

I’ve never had Top Secret clearance, either, although my bro did when he worked at the Pentagon. I’ve never had rabies shots (thank heavens) or been to Oman. Although I have ridden a camel before and think it’s tres cool that Julia had a namesake (I’ll bet she was really cute, too, in an ugly, smelly sort of way.)

I’ve also been a London Streetwalker before, but I’m sure I wasn’t nearly the floozie that Claudia is. I hated my one law course in college, so I would never willingly choose to work in a law office, even though I love to watch lawyers on TV because of the ironies and absurdities. And I couldn’t sell anything, especially cars, to save my life. I’ve never had to waitress (also thank heavens since those poor souls work so dang hard for so little pay). In high school I babysat to earn money to pay for my horse. And in college I answered phones at the Student Center and took student photo id’s of other engineering geeks and was a parking attendant for big events at the Atlanta Omni.

But I think I have a right to know whom I’m cohabiting with on Mt Oly – felons are okay, serial killers are not welcome. So in the interest of full disclosure… now that we resident goddesses have exposed some of our deepest, darkest secrets, it’s our fellow goddesses’ turn.

Name one or more crazy/fun facts about you that would be hard for the rest of us to guess!

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At long last, the second book in the Desperate Debutante series is on the shelves. THE PERILS OF PURSUING A PRINCE is out there everywhere now, and there is nothing more I can do to affect sales. All my guest-bloggings and online interviews and contests and mailings are over. I don’t have to mention that I have a book release five thousand times at the Goddess Blogs any more (is that applause I hear?). There is nothing I can do but sit back, chew my fingernails, and try and put my mind on something else.

My mind instantly turns to my TBR pile, because I haven’t had much opportunity to read in the last few weeks, and I am dying to soak up something other than Julia London’s thoughts and musings on a blog somewhere (hey! Is that more applause I hear?).

But when I turn to my TBR pile, I almost faint. When did it get so big? Who bought all those books and with whose credit card? If I guessed an average of $10 a book, does that mean I actually spent $$$$$$$$$$ much on books in the last few months?!?! Are there really enough years left in my life to read them all? And for heaven’s sake, how will I ever choose which book to read?

It makes me wonder about other TBR piles out there. Actually, it makes me wonder about your TBR piles. You guys have enlightened me about so many things. So let me ask:

1. How big is your TBR pile (two feet, four feet, eight feet, the entire garage)?
2. Is your investment in books lesser or greater than your mortgage?
3. How many books do you typically read in a week?
4. Do you read a mix of romance, or do you stick to one sub-genre? What’s your favorite – historical, contemporary, paranormal, inspirational?
5. Do you have a favorite comfort read?
6. May I use this opportunity to pimp my book one last time?

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Hello, my lovely goddesses! It dawned on me last night that we jumped into the whole blog thing without properly introducing ourselves.

So . . . I thought we’d have a little GetToKnowYou Goddess Quiz. There are no wrong answers. After all, if you weren’t already a goddess, you wouldn’t be here. But this little quiz will give us all a chance to ‘meet’ one another.

1. What’s the last book you read? The next book you plan on reading?

2. Where do you read thegoddessblogs.com?
a) at home pretending to pay bills but secretly checking out thegoddessblogs.com,
b) at work pretending to scan the annual reports while secretly checking out thegoddessblogs.com,
c) at a coffee shop with your laptop, sipping coffee and openly checking out thegoddessblogs.com?

3. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you in the last three months? (All goddesses are looking for reasons to party and celebrations are the best!)

4. Which two words describe you best: lively, shy, capable, creative, durable, impatient, consistent, flighty, dreamer, talented, determined, humorous, gentle, organized, stylish, or flexible?

5. How do you handle your Anger Monkey? By yourself? Take it out on whatever minions are close by? Toss lightning bolts? Or hide until the storm blows over? Or does your Anger Monkey take care of itself?

6. How many animals and/or children do you have? (And yes, you may include your significant other or the neighbor’s cat, if they hang out on your porch long enough.)

7. Some of you have screen names that amuse and confuse me. Why and how did you come up with your screen name?

and last but not least,
8. If your TV could play only one show a week, what show would that be and why?

There you go, my goddess sisters! Take the Goddess Quiz and say “hello!”

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And no, I’m not talking about American politics! I’m talking about the reality TV singing contest, American Idol.

I confess that I’ve been an AI groupie since the very first season, but last season I fell in love with Elliot Yamin. I even bought his recently-released CD the day it came out.

Because of Elliot, last year was the first time I ever actually voted. And when it got down to the final few episodes, I learned how to put his voting phone number on speed dial and stuff the ballot box in his favor. I even went on-line to read the AI bulletin boards to see what the country was saying about Elliot’s chances to win – which is where I learned that voters have to vote a lot of times to keep their faves in the running, because everyone else is stuffing the ballot box, too, voting hundreds of times in one night. The thing is, on American Idol the best singer doesn’t necessarily win. It’s the contestant who can get his/her fans to make the most phone calls.

I was willing to go to all that trouble for Elliot. To me, his voice is nice mixture of R&B and Pop – smooth, mellow, vibrant, sexy. I didn’t think I would ever like an AI contestant more. But I was wrong. This year I’m even more in love with Melinda Doolittle.

She blows me away every week. I’ve actually loved her voice from the very first, but she really wowed me when she took a pretty boring song, “Home” from THE WIZ, and made it magical. Gwen Stefani of No Doubt fame said that Melinda was so good, she didn’t need Gwen to wish her luck. Diana Ross said Melinda gave her goose bumps. Simon Cowell (the evil troll judge on AI) likened her to a young Gladys Knight. And I agree with them all.

IMO, she just keeps getting better each week, with more stage presence and confidence, too. It’s like watching a star being born before my very eyes. I have no musical talent whatsoever (except being able to carry a tune), so I don’t have a clue what it takes to be a good singer. I just know I love listening to her voice. Melinda could sing a grocery list and I would love it. (I feel that way about some authors, too – their writing voice, not their singing voice *G*).

Are you an AI/ Melinda Doolittle fan like I am? If so, I urge you to vote, vote, vote! And if you’re not an AI fan, do you have a fave singer whose voice you just melt over? A voice you really “connect” with? A voice that just punches all your buttons? A singer you’d buy a grocery list from?

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Okay, so maybe I’ll admit to having a teeny inferiority complex. When we first started The Goddess Blogs, it took me all of three seconds to figure out that my fellow Goddess authors are all delightfully funny. I’m in awe of their talent and pea-green with envy that humor comes so naturally to them!

It’s tough enough being witty and entertaining and interesting and fun. But funny? Trust me, it’s like pulling your own wisdom teeth out with a humongous pair of pliers if humor isn’t your forte. Which is why I get butterflies in my stomach every time I contemplate writing my next blog.

So why am I here? Why do I wrack my brains to be worthy of participating? What am I getting out of this? The answer is simple. I’m here because I need it. I benefit from a romance blog like this in countless ways.

Sure, we authors want to showcase our books and hopefully drum up interest and a reader following. After all, selling books is what keeps us employed and able to pursue our passion. But there are lots of other benefits, too. You may know by now that I adore lists and can’t function without them, so let me count the benefits in a list:

1) Laughs. Both the bloggers and commentors have given me so many lol moments.

2) Commiseration. I get sympathy and empathy from people who understand my neuroses, who share my passions and pet peeves, who think fictional characters are actually real, who would defend their precious books with their dying breath… We romance readers are a breed unto ourselves.

3) Entertainment. Whether the posts are funny, sad, intriguing, whatever, they take me on a great ride.

4) Knowledge. I learn interesting stuff I never knew and have to think about things I’ve never considered before.

5) Creativity. I get to express my feelings and have a creative outlet for rants and raves.

6) Escape. Visiting here is a great way to procrastinate from work. Alternatively, it provides a nice brain break when I’ve been hard at work.

7) Anti-depressant. Reading the blogs and comments cheers me up when I’m down and always, always brightens my day.

All those are great reasons to participate in The Goddess Blogs . But the foremost reason I’m here – and the reason I’ll keep coming back – is the

8 ) Camaraderie. A shared sense of belonging.

I’m not alone when I have this site to turn to. I’m part of a larger community. I can stay connected to the world. And the best thing about participating? I make lifelong friends.

I was heartbroken when my fave romance board folded several years ago. I still enjoy visiting other boards and blogs, but none have been quite so satisfying or fulfilling to me as The Romance Journal. The people I met there gave me such pleasure and joy. Which is why I’m so very glad to have The Goddess Blogs now. It’s a true pleasure getting to know my fellow writer and reader Goddesses. Without you, my teeny inferiority complex would mushroom into some hulking anti-Muse perched on my shoulder, hooting derisively and calling me unflattering names every time I tried to be funny.

But I wonder if everyone else who visits and participates has the same expectations of our site as I do? We just celebrated our one month anniversary yesterday, so this seems like a great time to ask some questions about expectations, since a blog site is only as good as its participants. The thing is, we can make The Goddess Blogs what we want it to be.

So what do you want The Goddess Blogs to be? Why do you visit romance boards and blogs? What do you get out of it? What would keep you coming back here day after day? What would make you follow every discussion and post your own comments? In short, what would brighten your day?

(And I’ll try not to feel too inferior if you come back with some funny as well as serious answers.)

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It’s tough being a romance reader cause we don’t get no respect. Just last week a clerk at my local Barnes&Noble bookstore told me, “My colleagues laugh at me because I read romances.” And this from people who presumably love books!

It gets me riled to hear the most common snide remark: “Oh, you read those kinds of books.”

“What kinds of books?” I ask, gritting my teeth.

“Oh, you know. Those.”

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Some people think I should apologize for my reading tastes. Many look down their noses at me. But I don’t like looking up anyone’s nose, so I’ve tried to devise some snappy comebacks along with some serious ones. I smile sweetly and respond like this:

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“So you read those trashy romances.”
a) Yes… Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Shakespeare… It’s my shameful little secret.<wink>
b) Yes, they suit me don’t you think? <flirtatious smile>
c) You bet I do. Jealous?
d) Yes, I and about 65 million other people.
e) What’s trashy about a man and a woman overcoming obstacles to find true love?

“So you read those bodice rippers.”
a) Actually, the physics and engineering involved in bodice ripping would be quite complex.
b) Ever try ripping a whalebone corset or padded underwire bra? I’d like to see how far you get.
c) Romance novels have evolved greatly in the past two decades. These days, real heroes would never be so uncouth as to rip a bodice. They would remove it with great expertise, employing the skills they’ve developed as splendid lovers.

“Those romance heroes are too perfect to be real.”
a) What’s wrong with perfect?
b) You show me a perfect man, I’ll show you an alien.
c) I’ve got a real man. I’m looking for a good fantasy.
And if your snide remark happens to come from a man…
d) Are you worried you can’t compete?

“Only uneducated housewives read those.”
a) When was the last time you met a housewife?
b) Have you checked the education level of housewives today?
c) Since romances are the best-selling books in America, that’s a lot of housewives.
d) Along with educated housewives, engineers, nurses, lawyers, teachers, firefighters….

“Romance readers are hard-up for sex.”
a) And you think that because…?
b) It gives us a goal to work toward.
c) Don’t you wish?
d) A lot of romance readers have very satisfying love lives because we know what “good” sex is.

“Those romance novels are all porn – only about sex.”
a) Oh? Are you a big expert on porn?
b) You have something against sex? What are you, a prude?
c) And they do amazing things for your sex life. You really don’t know what you’re missing.
c) No, they’re about love.

“Those romance novels are all alike.”
a) Really? So you’ve read a lot of them?
b) Yeah, they have a hero, heroine, romance, and a happy ending. Would you pick up a murder mystery and not expect to learn “who done it”?
c) You can say that about any kind of book you don’t happen to like. I understand that psychologically, it’s your way of trying to feel superior. <smiling sweetly again> But it doesn’t work on me.

“Why don’t you read real books?”
a) Funny, they look real to me.
b) Like Jane Eyre, Gone With the Wind, David Copperfield, Little Women…? You don’t consider those real books?

I’m too nice a person to say what I’m really thinking sometimes. But if I were Rosie O’Donnell, I could go the nasty route:
c) Have you ever even read a romance novel? Can you read, period?
d) Do you realize how badly your ignorance is showing?

And probably my favorite from one of my writer friends:
e) Warning: This book contains hope, love, and happiness. Not intended for those suffering in immature ignorance.

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Some remarks deserve total disdain, but I can’t help wanting to respond – to justify and defend my passion. Saying something at least makes me feel better.

I’m a romance reader and dang proud of it. A die-hard, unadulterated, unabashed, unapologetic fanatic. You’ll have to peel a romance novel from my cold, stiff fingers to lay me in my grave.

So get off my case. I am a RO-MANCE-READ-ER – so there! <sticking tongue out in juvenile fashion>

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I would love, however, to have some better retorts to use the next time some ignoramus questions my passion. So in the spirit of our recent joke-title contest and the great titles you goddesses came up with, how could I have replied to any of those comments? (stronger, wittier, snarkier, more suggestive) What’s the worst thing anyone has ever said to you about your romance habit? And what comeback did you respond with – or wish you’d responded with?

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