Tradition!
Dec 21st 2009
LoriHandelandGoddess Classics & Lori Handeland
Do you hear the guy from Fiddler on the Roof singing? Can you see him dancing?
I had my birthday last week and started to think about family traditions in relation to birthdays. Some families make a huge deal out of every birthday. (Mine!) Some only make a huge deal out of certain birthdays. And some families treat birthdays like they’re just another day. (IV’s)
When we were first married I tried to make a huge deal out of IV’s birthday. He said, “It’s just another day to me.” I said, “That’s fine. Just so you realize that MINE isn’t.” :)
My birthday “tradition” is that I eat out for every meal and shop all day. Since my birthday is so close to Christmas I do all my shopping on that day. I like coming home with a ton of packages, even if they aren’t (all) for me.
As we had kids, I made a huge deal out of their birthdays. I couldn’t help myself. It became the “Birthday Week Extravaganza” with them. Although that’s calmed down somewhat now that they’re grown.
Still, IV took oldest son to Vegas for his 21st birthday last month. I think that’s a nice new tradition.
Does your family treat every birthday as a huge deal? Certain milestone birthdays? Or are birthdays just another day? What are some of your birthday traditions?
35 Comments »
35 Responses to “Tradition!”
B on 21 Dec 2009 at 2:52 am #
Ohhh, I love birthdays! I make a HUGE deal out of birthdays! Mine and everyone else’s. (HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, LORI!!! ♥) I’m the kind of person no one ever forgets my birthday because it’s all I talk about for a good while before!!!!
My mom is turning 45 next February and I already informed her I’m throwing her a surprise party. She says she doesn’t want a damn surprise party, but I don’t care, I’m doing it anyway. She’ll realize eventually it’s pointless arguing with me and she’ll end up having fun anyway.
I don’t have any big traditions except going out for dinner with my parents and siblings. (and my stepmom). Ohh, and my friend Yasmin ALWAYS calls right during dinner! What I love the most about my birthday are the phone calls. I LOVE, LOVE getting calls on my birthday. There’s just something so sweet about that!
Trini on 21 Dec 2009 at 3:11 am #
I love birthdays…. In my family we always celebrate birthdays eating at my parent’s home all together. We usually eat seafood, and always eat a delicious cake, blow the candles and sing happy birthday…. June is a very important month in our lives because is the birthday of my nephew, my younger sister, my dad and mine too… so in June we celebrate three big parties… one for my nephew, one for my sister and me and one for my dad… (and then we have to do a diet because we spend a lot of time eating cake….)
Deb on 21 Dec 2009 at 6:00 am #
When I was a kid, my mother made whatever meal we wanted for our special birthday dinner. I usually chose fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. The kids in our family (mine, nieces, and nephews) all get special treatment by having a family get-together and Grandma (my mother) makes and designs whatever cake they want. We’ve had a Barney, a butterfly, a princess, a baseball field, and tons of other created cakes.
My sisters and I take our mom to a bed and breakfast every year for her birthday and we have fun eating and talking. Our dad loves chocolate, so he is flooded with chocolate stars or Hershey bars every year.
My mom has been ill this year, slowly recovering, but we do plan a special party for her 75th in July. My dad doesn’t like parties, but we are going to have a special dinner in September for his 80th.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 6:39 am #
Thanks, B! That’s so sweet that your friend always remembers to call. My cousin always calls too, although this year she texted instead, which worked out great.
Your birthday dinners sound lovely, Trini. I know what you mean about the cake!
Mmm. Sounds like Gramma makes great cake and food, Deb. Sorry to hear mom hasn’t been well. I’m sure her party will cheer her right up.
Alicia on 21 Dec 2009 at 6:48 am #
I think mine is a big deal. My parents didn’t go over the top or anything. A few birthday gifts, a cake, and dinner…..but that is more than a lot of people get. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve kinda turned my birthDAY into a birthWEEK!!! LOL!! When Big Daddy and I are trying to decide where to eat, I’m like “I get to decide, it is my birthday!” He’s like, “Umm…your birthday was two days ago!” It doesn’t matter…it is the same week!! He’s learned now and he has followed in my footsteps! He does the same thing on HIS birthWEEK!!!
Pesky on 21 Dec 2009 at 7:30 am #
I’m not a big birthday person. I can go years without thinking about my age or the aging process. As a teen I would throw fairly elaborate parties, as I’ve gotten older, couldn’t care less.
That doesn’t mean I don’t respect the friends who do think their birthday is a big deal. I have a friend that says flat out “I don’t care about Christmas but my Birthday is a huge deal.” So…I make a huge deal of it. My other friends do the night out thing, which I arrange and get co-ordinated.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 7:45 am #
That’s nice that you can both have birthday week, Alicia. I can barely get IV to acknowledge his birthday enough to go out or even to let me make him something special. Men. LOL!
I probably need to get to the “i can’t care less” stage soon, Pesky. As it is Oldest Son thought I was 7 years older than I was. Probably because it seems like I’m constantly having a huge deal birthday.
Gee, thanks kid!
Pesky on 21 Dec 2009 at 7:47 am #
Lori, kids…what do they know. You don’t look at day over 25.
Kim on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:08 am #
Me me me!! I think birthdays are a huge deal! Mine is this week and it ALWAYS gets overlooked. So when I got married I informed Gil that my day is special. He does go out of his way to make sure I have a happy birthday. He also knows the rules. 1. No xmas/holiday stuff is allowed on birthday stuff. (everyone else gets birthday cards, cakes and wrapping paper, so do I!) Once a baker asked if he’d like a poinsetta on my cake. He nearly had a heartattack. 2. The 24th is MY birthday here, not xmas eve. 3. I get a cake. Just because there is all the holiday sweets doesn’t mean I should get screwed out of a cake.
We also do birthday “time”. As we’ve gotten older and busier its evolved into a month just so we can celebrate as family. I informed Gil that in two years when I turn 40 I’m having a birthday year. Each month on the 24th I expect a large and sparkly present *G*
Happy late birthday, Lori!!
SuzyQ on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:10 am #
I love birthdays! My family always gets together on the person’s day and has cake and of course, presents. If it falls on a weekend, we’ll usually do a cookout too (since most of our birthday’s are in the summer). I started breakfast in bed for my kids. I think it’s a nice way for them to start the day.
Terri on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:31 am #
I LOVE birthdays and we have several traditions. Number 1 is that the birthday person gets to pick a special meal – anything that they want. We also go out to eat during that week with our neighbors/best friends plus anyone else that we invite. There are presents and a birthday cake with candles, ice cream, and singing. Since there are 2 eating “events”, birthdays are usually celebrated over a week. Big birthdays have been known to last for a month so everyone can celebrate. We also try to avoid celebrating more than one birthday at a time. We have quite a few family birthdays that overlap within the same week but everyone gets at least one celebration that is totally their own.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:35 am #
Thanks, Pesky!
I’ve always had the same problem, Kim, having a bday so close to Christmas. My parents were always really good about making sure I had a BIRTHDAY and not a combo with Christmas. But I was also an only child and that probably helped. Maybe that’s why I always insisted on my day being such a big deal. To assure it didn’t get lopped in with the holiday.
All of our birthdays are in the fall/winter here, SuzyQ so no cookouts. That would be fun!!
Terri-We’re lucky that none of our bdays fall too close together. That would be tough if we had two bdays in one week.
Freshechelle on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:56 am #
My sister has a birthday this week. As kids, my mom would decorate the tree for her birthday. She’s always been OK with the commingling of the two event since the value of the combo gift far exceed what the two separate gifts would have been. We have a friend who turns vile if you connect her b’day to Christmas.
The tradition? Yellow cake with chocolate butter cream frosting from a specific bakery. Not the supermarket, a real bakery, or suffer my wrath. If I can feel the crunch of sugar, it’s not the right cake.
Happy non-Christmas associated Birthday Lori and Kim! (coindicentally the same names of the birthday girls I mentioned above – weird)
elsiehogarth on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:10 am #
Lori, Happly Belated Birthday.
I also believe in the birthday week. I must have a present every day(even if it’s a stick of gum) until the day of my birthday-Jan.12th. In my family, we are all big on birthdays. we also ask nieces/nephews for their favorite foods to celebrate their day and also what kind of cake they would like.
Sabrina Jeffries on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:20 am #
I grew up in a family that treated birthdays as special. We got to choose our food and whether we wanted cake or something else (I always chose pie–not much of a cake eater).
Hubby, however, is not a special birthday kind of person. He would just as soon forget he has a birthday. I try to make his special, but he really doesn’t care. He mostly remembers to make mine special … but he really doesn’t see the point.
Happy belated birthday, Lori!
Amy Scott on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:41 am #
When I was a kid birthdays were a big deal, but as I get older, my birthday has become just another day. However, I do like to have a cake for my birthday, but would rather skip the candles. My husband is huge into birthdays, he likes to celebrate the day before, which he calls birthday eve, as well as on the actual day. Obviously, as a parent I love to celebrate the birthdays of my children. We always do something special for my oldest daughter (youngest hasn’t had her first birthday yet), she has a summer birthday, and going to the local waterpark is a tradition for us.
Madeline Hunter on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:52 am #
My husband comes from a family that made a big deal out of birthdays, so we do too. I suspect he thinks I should do it the way his mom did, with cakes in the form of cowboy hats and stuff. I do it my own way, but it still has to be a big deal–special dinner chosen by the birthday person, and homemade cake with candles and gifts of course. We often have to work on our birthdays so we don’t get to make a whole day of it as adults, but I try to let the kids have the day to do what they want. Of course there were parties when they were younger, even if it was having a few friends to the movies or a small sleepover or something.
If not for DH, I think my own birthday would have drifted into “just another day.” His influence definitely has made a difference there.
Julia London on 21 Dec 2009 at 10:06 am #
We aren’t HUGE on birthdays, but we do have birthday events. Usually on a weekend near the birthday so that we can all gather around booze and food, LOL.
Last year I had a SIGNIFICANT birthday, and if you weren’t here to know which, I am not saying it again. I can’t. But it was so big that I got the first surprise party of my life, and I was very surprised. It was at a swank restaurant and was very memorable for us all for a number of reasons. That was cool.
amy1242 on 21 Dec 2009 at 10:15 am #
Mostly just another day. I make the birthday persons favorite meal for dinner and ice cream cake is a must. But we are so busy at this stage that everyone has to go about their own business, but we all aknowledge the special day with gifts and cards and hugs and kisses. Even the dog and horses get treats.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 10:21 am #
I’m with you, Fresh, on the whole perfect frosting from just the right place. If it isn’t, it just isn’t good enough.
I like the idea of birthday week, Elsie. And a gift for each day. Sounds like a good tradition to me!
I’m more a pie person, too, Sabrina. I especially enjoy chocolate pie, which no one else likes here.
That works out for the best since food has a way of disappearing in this house. Just last night Oldest son was looking for the remains of his Cousins sub. No dice, big boy. It’s already gone.
Julia London on 21 Dec 2009 at 10:23 am #
P.S. Happy Birthday, Lori!
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 10:24 am #
A waterpark sounds like the perfect birthday with kiddies, AmyS. My boys always had a big party with their friends at some event place, although the water park was out around here.
Madeline-I don’t miss those sleepovers! All those boys hyped up on soda and cake. Aargh. They would get so excited though, it was cute.
I DO remember that significant birthday, Julia. The surprise party sounds fabulous. What a lovely thing for your friends and family to do for you.
Ice cream cake!! I was thinking of ordering one for Christmas. I love those things!
Nicole Jordan on 21 Dec 2009 at 11:34 am #
A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Lori!
All these traditions sound lovely, goddesses!
We usually go out to dinner on b’days… the last couple of years I’ve chosen Red Lobster. We have some really good other seafood restaurants here, but RL has garlic cheese buscuits!!!
Chloe Harris (Noelle) on 21 Dec 2009 at 12:48 pm #
Happy Birthday!
My birthday is Thursday.
When I was a kid the tradition was to un-Christmas my birthday by having the whole family get together for Hot Dogs roasted in the Fire Place, Birthday Cake but most of all no double duty presents.
Once I grew-up and had kids it just became too hard to separate the two or even have any time to celebrate my birthday. But last year on a milestone birthday DH recreated the parties from my childhood with a gourmet hot dog spread like you wouldn’t believe, my favorite Baskin Robbins cake and lots of family and friends.
It was a nice reminder of why I keep him around.
PJane1031 on 21 Dec 2009 at 12:55 pm #
In my family, the birthday person picks the special meal for the day. . . . growing up with 8 kids, a restaurant just wasn’t a feasible $$$ option for my parents!!! Now, even though we’re grown, my one older sister and I always know what we’re eating on each other’s birthday: Mine: mom’s BBQ spare ribs & carrot mashed potatoes (cooked carrots added to regular mashed potatoes–my birthday is on Halloween, so a nod to that!!); Hers: Sauerkraut & dumplings. The rest of the siblings live too far away for mom to cook for them on their birthdays. . . . .for our mom, my sister, BIL & I usually take her out to a restaurant to eat–though that’s been like pulling teeth!! She doesn’t see the need to eat out when she has a perfectly good kitchen at home to cook in!!! LOL!
Mom did turn 80 this year, and with the kids spread out all over the U.S., we planned a surprise party for her in July (even though her birthday is in September), and got all of the kids, and most of the grandkids home for it. Plus relatives from all over the U.S. came to it, too!! It was a lot of fun (& work) to put together, but the look on her face when she got surprised made it all worth it!!
evlqn on 21 Dec 2009 at 4:08 pm #
NOT celebrate the day my wonderfulness arrived on the planet??? No chance! I have reached the point in life where you don’t HAVE to make a big deal about it, it would just be better for all living things to do so. Your choice.
When my sons were still in my nest we had birthday dinners where the birthday person got to choose the menu. The boys usually choose Spaghetti with all the trimmings because their didn’t like spaghetti and he had to eat it.
My sister makes special cakes for everyone, one year she made a football field and populated it with UofO and OSU teddy grahams, the Ducks were winning. Another year she built a skate park with TekDeks. Big deal? yeah we make a big deal out of B-days.
Kim you should have a day that is just yours. Today is my brothers b-day but he’s a JW so they don’t celebrate it, he’s still getting old.
Sabrina Jeffries on 21 Dec 2009 at 5:18 pm #
Ooh, ice cream cake–the only kind of cake I love (besides carrot cake, which really isn’t cake to me, but a vehicle for yummy cream cheese icing). Better yet, take the cake out of the ice cream cake and just give me ice cream! I love ice cream sundaes.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 5:28 pm #
I love Red Lobster, Nicole. We don’t have one here anymore.
(
Happy Birthday, Noelle! I see the origin of the name.
You’ll have a lovely party for you mom, PJ, I’m sure. 80 is something to celebrate!
My kids always choose spaghetti too Evlqn. It’s a good choice. I could eat spaghetti every day!
Sabrina, you and I have the same taste in cake. CARROT cake!!
Louisa Cornell on 21 Dec 2009 at 7:19 pm #
Happy Belated Birthday, Lori!! My birthday was always terrible when I was growing up because it is 4 days after Christmas! Bummer! Nobody wants a party and cake four days after Christmas! When the older of my two brothers and I were teenagers he always bought me a volume of Kahlil Gibran for my birthday because he knew I loved Gibran. I still have those gold-leaf volumes. Now he always gives me a giftcard to a bookstore!! He’s SUCH a good brother! The younger brother, however, is EVIL !! For my 40th birthday he sent a funeral wreath to my office!! For my 50th birthday (last year) he sent all sorts of HALF-CENTURY items and had the girls in the bakery make me a huge HALF-CENTURY birthday cake. Just wait. His day is coming!
My late DH always made a big deal of my birthday. He always sent me flowers. (Even when he was in Mississippi and I was in Austria!) He always took me out to eat or arranged for me to be taken out to eat (again when I was in Austria) He always bought me an angora sweater and some earrings, CDs and books. And he sent my Mom flowers on MY birthday.
My niece and my two nephews know that they will get books from me on their birthdays and they love it!
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 7:32 pm #
That is absolutely adorable that your DH sent your mom flowers on your birthday. How sweet!
Brothers are a trial, or so I hear. At least little ones. As you said-his day is coming . . .
Kathy on 21 Dec 2009 at 8:59 pm #
I am SO late to weigh in!
my keyboard had a lot of coffee to drink this morning. fate’s way of telling me to step away from my video projects. I had to rinse and let it dry upside down on a grate over my radiator.
i was going into withdrawal by the time I got to do more than click my mouse around.
My eldest sister’s birthday is Christmas day. This year she turns 60. We’ve always combined our Christmas feast with a birthday cake for her. but she got seperate presents with no holiday wrapping. the year she turned 50, she was gifted with her first grandson.
We always celebrate birthdays big in our family. It’s usually birthday person’s choice though, unless it’s a planned surprise. In a family as large as mine though, secrets are hard to keep.
I used to make the cakes, but one year we cheated and bought our local grocery store’s cake. oh my gosh! it was SO good. pound cake with real buttercream, we changed our “orders” to that. I didn’t mind at all to give up the work!
my nephew still prefers white chocolate cheesecake while his wife always wants ice cream cake.
LoriHandeland on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:02 pm #
Oh no, Kathy! I started twitching just reading about your coffee in the keyboard. I’m glad you were able to get it dried out!
I have to say white chocolate cheesecake sounds pretty good to me.
Lisa G on 21 Dec 2009 at 9:42 pm #
I don’t like my birthdays!
I just reminds me of how old I getting and I don’t like that. I love taking my family members out shopping, to dinner and somewhere special! 
Kathy on 22 Dec 2009 at 3:51 am #
Lori, it is a good one. I’ll post the recipe up on the forum.
LoriHandeland on 22 Dec 2009 at 5:51 am #
Ooo. Thanks Kathy!
It’s nice of you to make other birthdays special, LisaG, even if you don’t care for your own.