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Boneheads of America, Unite!

Nov 5th 2009Julia London
Julia LondonGoddess Grins & Julia London & My Life As A Plebe & On Writing! & When Goddesses Fall To Earth

doltThis week, I was going to fly out to Muldrow Oklahoma (well, fly near Muldrow) to see my father.  This is something we’d planned.  I made all the arrangements.  I found someone to keep the CPE, cancelled an appointment, and made sure I wasn’t blogging anywhere.  I informed all the important people in my life:  Jack London (hey honey, I’m not buying a bunch of food that’s going to waste while I am gone), my friends (can’t come to your fabulous brunch, I’ll be in Muldrow), and even stopped the paper.  I made plans for the following weekends to see friends.  “That is the only weekend we are free!” I declared and thought that was true.  Imagine my surprise to learn–from my father of all people–that I wasn’t coming this weekend, but in two weeks.

Having two aging parents who forget the details of things, I said, “No, Dad, this weekend.”  And I said it with some exasperation and attitude.  He urged me to look at my tickets.  I clicked over while I was on the phone and discovered he was right.  I don’t know how I got it in my head it was this weekend, but man oh man, is the old guy having some fun with that.  “Who’s the bonehead now?” he chortled.  I am serious–he chortled.    314689-122841-goofy_large

Hard to believe, but Jack London topped that boneheaded moment. He called up one day and said, “You know those Southwest commercials, Wanna Get Away?”  He’d gone to a big corporate office for work, and in the back, where there were lots of pallets of stuff, he hit something that fell over and hit the fire alarm.  That’s right…roughly 1500 people evacuated from the building while firemen rushed to the scene.  The building manager urged him not to worry.  “Happens all the time,” he said.  But it doesn’t happen to Jack, and he felt like a bonehead.

I could go on–the great Search for My Cell Phone that was in my pocket the whole time (which we discovered when, in a stroke of brilliance, we called it).   Or several years ago, the library book I lost and paid for, then found in my freezer.  That is a direct result of snacking too much!!

So now I have plenty of time this weekend.  I should get some pages done while I sit around and remember what a bonehead I am.    Any boneheads out there?  Let’s make this a laugh-out-loud, I am a Bonehead Thursday!

55 Comments »

55 Responses to “Boneheads of America, Unite!”

  1. Trini on 05 Nov 2009 at 2:39 am #

    Yes… Yes…. I confess it….here are an spanish bonehead!!! One day I went to the library to buy the newspaper, I pay it and I turned my head and I said “Come on Joseca (he’s my son) we have to go…” and the seller told me “Trini, who are you speaking with…???” ooooopppppsssssss I was completely alone…

    A few years ago, I had a team of 5 men under my responsability (and all of them older than me), I met with them to communicate changes and new rules (and things like that). When we finish the meeting we went out and in the last stairs I don’t know what I did…. but I fell to the ground…. “all” my body was in floor… my knees, my hands and almost my teeth…. All of them wanted to help me, but I stand up very worthy and I said.. “oh, please don’t worry, I always finish the meetings this way…” I think they are still laughing of me…..

  2. Deborah on 05 Nov 2009 at 3:31 am #

    I was once living in a small town in Ireland and I went into a shop and asked if they knew where “Snow White” was (this was the name of a local dry cleaners I had been recommended) to which they replied “No, it’s out at the moment” I said thank you and walked away more than slightly confused. Only on my way out did I look around and realise where I was…… Xtravision (a rent-a-movie shop)… Bonehead central…..

  3. B on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:05 am #

    I’m not particularly the kind that makes people evacuate buildings, but, I can be quite slow to get jokes. I mean, I have no idea what’s wrong with my brains. I’m smart. Really. But when it comes to jokes, something blocks out and I just don’t get them. My family say I’m the kind of person who laughs three times when I’m told a joke: When people tell me, when they explain it to me, and, a while later, when I understand it.
    My mom and my brother lovingly call me 95, because I’m slow like Windows 95! Oh, well. :)

  4. MizMacgyver on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:37 am #

    I think I could probably write a book about such moments but the first one that comes to mind is when I lost my watch. Turned the house upside down, looked behind everything including the potty. No watch, came home from work that evening, opened the fridge to start dinner, uhhhhhh, there was my watch, top shelf right next to the milk. To this day I am not quite sure how it got there.

  5. Alicia on 05 Nov 2009 at 6:14 am #

    Just a couple of days ago, I was kind of frustrated with a person at work. (I work in a small hospital) So I was gonna email my boss and vent to her, because we are of the same mind and can’t figure out why everyone else is the way the are. You know how in Outlook and most other emails all you have to do is enter a letter and all the email addresses with that letter come up? Hers (my boss) is always on top so I just entered the letter hit enter and typed my message when went like this: “‘So and so’ is just a little too dang big for her britches!!!” I hit ’send’ and went on about my business. I felt strange all of the sudden and for some reason decided to check and see if that email went to my boss. IT WENT TO SOMEONE ELSE IN THE HOSPITAL!!! I was MORTIFIED! I just KNEW there was gonna be a big to-do about it. Folks were going to get called into some offices….you know the whole deal. FORTUNATELY, my phone rang and it was the lady I sent the email to and she was ROLLING! She said she would delete the email and and not tell anyone about it. Thank God!!! I’m still embarrassed!!!

  6. LoriHandeland on 05 Nov 2009 at 6:40 am #

    I was coming out of Sam’s Club, couldn’t find my sunglasses, having a fit that I left them inside when they were a really good pair and they were on my head.

    Or the time I asked someone to move out of my seat on a plane and my seat was in the next row.

  7. Pesky on 05 Nov 2009 at 6:52 am #

    I’m not confessing to any bonehead moves but hypothetically speaking one should make sure the mute button is on when you are having a conference call with the rest of your team and you go off about the idiot at the other end who is complaining to your client about your employer. Just saying.

    As to the whole forgetting things where you last left them…

    There is a stage in every person’s life that they are so full of information that the concept of list shifts from, “Please tell me what you want.” to “Please tell me what you want and don’t call me later to add anything because I’m full and for everything added something has to fall out.” I am at stage 2. Things get forgotten everywhere.

    (((Julia, Mr Jack and everyone here))) Be kind to yourself. Bonehead moves are made every day by people everywhere. If it wasn’t for us, what would our friends laugh at? :D

  8. kay on 05 Nov 2009 at 7:06 am #

    I work in a library, so, when we put books in freezers it is to save them from water damage. I’m really interested in knowing what your book was doing in your freezer and if your book was in the freezer what were you reading?

  9. Judy F on 05 Nov 2009 at 7:07 am #

    Oh I think I may be present of that club.

    Just yesterday I meant to send an email to my friend who is the district manager of my new part time job (for the holidays) instead I sent it to the Beth the store manager. Saying what is she talking about??? jeesh

    Or last week when I had two different socks on. Luckily they were both black.

    Or when I tripped up the steps at work. LOL

    The list goes on and on

  10. Sabrina Jeffries on 05 Nov 2009 at 7:30 am #

    Bonehead moves? I have no bonehead moves. I was NOT the woman who wore her shirt inside out to lunch with her family, and didn’t notice until she got home. That was not me. No. I would never do that.

    I also would never buy the same copy of a book twice, once when I bought it, and once when I took it to a signing to have it signed and then paid for it again. That would not be me.

    And don’t get me started on the glasses I have not misplaced that were on my head or the items I have lost that turned up in the fridge or freezer (what’s up with that, anyway–do we all have food obsessions?) or the things I have not spilled because I was trying to balance something atop a surface too small or sturdy for the item on top.

    No bonehead moves here. Nope.

  11. Sabrina Jeffries on 05 Nov 2009 at 7:32 am #

    Oh, and Julia, just to make you feel better–last year one of my brothers planned a trip to the Bahamas, bought tickets, set up the visit to his friend and everything, and discovered in the last week before he was set to go that his passport had expired. He had forgotten to check that little detail. He had to cancel his trip!

  12. nancyg on 05 Nov 2009 at 7:57 am #

    When I was in college, I had a job interview after school. Ran into the bathroom before class (I have a squirrel bladder). Yep, I tucked the back of my skirt into my pantyhose & walked through the entire building before one VERY sweet girl grabbed my arm & pulled me aside to tell me what everyone was snickering at.

    Wait – it gets even better…

    It was very close to laundry day, so yeah, I was wearing my “Christmas” panties – mistletoe & holly berries – in April….

  13. Kathy on 05 Nov 2009 at 8:10 am #

    chortle chortle!
    how about the many times I carry something around WHILE I’M LOOKING FOR IT.
    the peeks into the fridge for shoes before I realise that isn’t the closet. the INSISTING for weeks that my brother was born in ‘62 not ‘63 because it wasn’t possible for me to then to be born in ‘64. he had to produce his birth certifcate to get me to shut up.
    turns out Jan 1963 and Aug 1964 are far enough apart to make a new baby.

    Or the thing I do now- argue- ARGUE with the cat who is looking for her toy.
    my proof? this is me and my cat arguing. seriously:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_LIF10mVfM

  14. Claudia Dain on 05 Nov 2009 at 8:11 am #

    It is going to be a laugh-out-loud day!

    Okay, let me think…how about the time that I lost my gold earrings–REAL GOLD. Argh! The last time I remember wearing them was at the place where I get my “I’m doing this for you, World” facials. I asked the next time I went if they’d seen them. They were horrified, looked in their lost and found box, no earrings, assured me that I hadn’t lost them there. I was pretty adamant that the last time I’d worn them was at *their* salon. The manager got equally adamant that they had not seen my earrings. I let it drop and, after one more search of the house and car, looking in coat pockets and jean pockets and purse pockets, said good-bye to my REAL GOLD earrings.

    One year later…

    I moved the printer and found my earrings lying underneath it.

  15. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 8:12 am #

    When my now 25-year-old granddaughter was about 12 or so, we were cut off by a #$^^ driver. I was gently chastising that person, when gd pipes up & says “He must work at the Duh Factory!”. I shared this with an on-line group I belong to. For a long time, we all claimed to be the president, chief worker, founder, etc. of the Duh Factory. It was a busy place. Lots of employees in the top level.

    Yesterday, I discovered the DF is alive and well. My DD has her house for sale. She has a huge Lab. They put the dog out back when there is a showing. One of them brings him back in afterward. Yesterday, they were all busy, so I was asked. I let him in. Only to find out there was another showing almost immediately. I figured I’d put him on a leash & take him to the bank with me. DD told me not to try as he is very strong and would pull me off my feet. I never met a dog I couldn’t handle!

    Realtor & prospect show up. I go in to get Colby on his leash. As I was going out, he realized there was company. Oh Joy! I was in the doorway with one foot in the air when he took off. Did I mention he’s strong? He pulled me right out the door and I landed ungracefully on the sidewalk.
    Cntnd below

  16. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 8:19 am #

    Dog went to greet his new BFFs. They came running, of course, to see if I was OK and to help me up. I had both knees replaced about 3 years ago & it hurts to kneel with a hard surface under me. So, the young woman who came to see the house, got pillows of the couch and the agent held one of those flimsy white plastic chairs while maneuvered myself onto the pillows and got one foot under me. Then, he grabbed an arm to steady me as I got up the rest of the way. I was mortified, but nothing was broken. TG

    Randy put Colby out back on his chains & said he would let him in again when they left. I drove down the road & pulled into a Turkey Hill to have the shakes and cry a bit. TH is like a 7-11. Called my poor DD to let her know what an idiot her dear old mom was.

    PS The people made an offer on the house and DD accepted it. Settlement the end of the year. Cross your fingers all is well and it goes thru.

    Sincerely,
    CEO & Chief Bottle Washer of the Duh Factory

  17. TrishD on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:08 am #

    I’ve always known that I’m not the only bonehead out there, but it is so nice to finally have confirmation of that fact. I feel a deeper kinship with everyone today. :)

    My bonehead moves are many and varied. A recent work move involved e-mail… seems to be common. Our manager sent a message asking everyone to be more aware of a situation and how he wants it handled. It just happened to be a situation I had discussed with a friend the day before and how he could handle it himself but isn’t. The message I sent her was simple… “Do I even need to comment on this?” I received a message back a minute later… from my manager. Instead of forwarding the message and my response to my friend, I hit reply and sent it to the manager.

  18. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:14 am #

    Oh how fun!

    Trini, I love the story of you with your imaginary son, LOL

    Deborah, I bet the guys at the shop are still talking about the chick who was looking for Snow White.

    B — 95 for slow as Windows 95 is hilarious! It’s interesting how some people can get jokes and others can’t. I have a sister like that. Incredibly smart, but you must explain all subtle humor to her.

    MizM — I see you visit your fridge as often as I do ;-) .

    Alicia, we could probably do a whole other blog on emails. I have a magnet of one of those ladies from the fifties and she has this stunned look on her face and the little caption says, “Had she really hit Reply to All?!?!?!”

  19. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:17 am #

    Lori, there is no bonehead like the bonehead who makes a big stink only to discover he/she is a bonehead, hahahahaha

    Pesky, Ohmigod! How did the client take it? And oh, how about this–forgetting what you are doing, period? Sometimes I find myself in a room and I have no idea why I am there or waht I am doing.

    Kay, I think my book replaced the gourmet frozen meal I was preparing that night.

    Judy, I had a guy in my office show up in a black shoe and a brown shoe. He didn’t know it til we pointed it out. And then there was the woman in the parking lot. She’d locked her keys in her car and it was running. Jack tried to help her, couldn’t get it open. Then he asked if maybe she could call her husband to bring an extra set of keys. She said, “he won’t have them. They are in my purse.” The same purse that was hanging off her shoulder.

  20. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:19 am #

    Sabrina, my brother-in-law did that, too. But the passport thing is excusable, because who can remember something is due in ten years?!?!

    Nancy G, I don’t think I can ever look at mistletoe panties the same again. Ever.

    Kathy, what can I say? You are a nutbar to the tenth power because you actually video yourself being a nutbar. hahaha

    Claudia, did you ever tell the salon people you found your REAL GOLD earrings you almost had them arrested for stealing?

    And Margaret! Are you all right? That no good rotten dog — maybe you should send him down here. I can handle him :-) . (seriously, are you all right?)

  21. Rachel Gibson on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:22 am #

    I MAY have booked tickets for myself, Mr. G and a group of friends for a 7 am flight, only to get to the airport at six and be told by the ticketing agent that the tickets were for 7 pm. And I MIGHT, on more than one occasion, search the house looking for sunglasses sitting on top of my head.

  22. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:23 am #

    I love the woman locking her keys in the running car, Julia. Made me LOL Sort of like that old joke about the guy who locked his keys in his new car and had to break a window to get in. The punch line was it was a convertible and the top was down. I’ve always loved that joke.

    A number of years ago, a woman in a small on-line mailing list wrote an email trashing another member horribly. She thought she sent it to a friend. It went to the whole group. She was so embarrassed, she apologized publicly to the trashee and left the group. I was sorry because I really liked her.

  23. TrishD on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:24 am #

    When I worked for a florist years ago I walked up to a customer and politely asked, “Can I help you sir?” The customer looked at me and replied, “I’m not a man.”

    I’ve also had the bonehead moves of losing my glasses and finding them right where I put them, in their case; lost my cell phone, called it and have my butt ring because I’m sitting on it; walk up to a car that looks like mine in a parking lot only to remember that I came with my mom and she drove; get up in the morning, shower, dress and go to work only to be told that I have the day off.

    Margaret, you may be the CEO and bottle washer of the Duh Factory, but I think I’m in the running for employee of the year!

  24. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:25 am #

    Yes, Julia, I am fine. Sore, black & blue, but fine. All that milk I’ve been scarfing down all my life is paying off in strong bones now that I’m at a certain age. Thank you for asking.

  25. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:29 am #

    OK. Here’s one a tad off topic. Why is it that, when you fall down, broken a leg and are bleeding profusely, the first thing you do is look around to see if anybody saw you?

  26. TrishD on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:30 am #

    I have a bonehead, locked my keys in the car move. Yes, the keys were locked in the car. No I didn’t have a spare set with me. I called a friend to go get my spare set and settled in to wait. I don’t what made me try the backdoor after waiting for almost 15 minutes but wouldn’t you know it, that door was unlocked. I quickly locked it and took my friend out to dinner to thank her for getting my keys.

  27. Madeline Hunter on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:31 am #

    I have had some bonehead moments the last few years that make me wonder if I am losing it. Which, of course, maybe I am. That is the thing about being a bonehead— maybe it is not a passing moment at all. Anyway, I have actually scheduled a course to be given in a semester, and then totally forgotten to staff it. You want duh factory? Imagine explaining that to anyone. You get the oddest looks, I tell you.

    It annoys me when I can’t find something. I never used to lose anything. Now I lose a lot of things. It isn’t my fault! Someone is following me around, hiding this stuff!

    I have missing appointments a lot recently. So last month, I pulled up the month in my calendar and, to make very sure that I was NOT a bonehead and missed that dentist appointment AGAIN, I kept that caledar front and center on my desktop and got up early and hauled butt to the dentist, only to learn I was exactly one month early.

  28. TrishD on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:37 am #

    Madeline, I decorated a co-workers office for her b-day, stopped by the store in the morning to get treats for everyone only to be told that I was a month too early!

  29. Pesky on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:55 am #

    The client happened to be my best friend growing up, but my coworker didn’t know that. I actually got behind the scenes kudos from my boss and friend when I thought the axe was going to fall. My coworker was a whiner that we had gently tried to instruct on the point that he is not your friend, he is your client so keep it professional but he just kept brushing me off because I was the poor stupid woman.

  30. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:58 am #

    Trish, years ago when I was young and stupid (as opposed to being old and boneheaded), I congratulated a colleague on her pregnancy. She said, “I am not pregnant.” Ohmigod!! I could have died! Maybe even more than her.

    Madeline, that has to be a first, showing up at the dentist a month early! You forget, then you show up a month early. They must think you are a total nutbar, as Kathy would say!

  31. Kathy on 05 Nov 2009 at 10:12 am #

    Yes, I am a completely unrepentant bonehead/nutbar.
    as Cordelia Chase once said “pfft! like shame is something to be proud of”
    I mus now stay away from all things electronic! after doing the net thing, I sat down to continue my DS game of Brain Age 2. and hmm ironically some would say, turned it off instead turning the sound up.
    I then decided to move my teeny answering machine to a better shelf so it wouldn’t fall behind my tv stand: a six drawer dresser filled with mytv, dvd player, vcr, stereo, stacks of cds and dvds, as well as my silverware box and what did I do? drop it behind the stand. grumble grumble.
    lucky I’m strong like bull and edged the whole thing out enough to hook the cord and retrieve. HA! I aslo unplugged it as a gragged it out and had to reset everything!!!
    I’m going to lay down now

  32. TrishD on 05 Nov 2009 at 10:30 am #

    Julia, I had the opposite happen to me. I had no clue that a co-worker was pregnant and when she had her baby I blurted out that I didn’t even know she was pregnant. Unfortunately there was no rock around for me to crawl under.

  33. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 10:32 am #

    Trish, hahahahaa! Its a good lesson – just don’t say anything at all, right?

  34. Alicia on 05 Nov 2009 at 11:00 am #

    Oh, these are HILARIOUS! ;)

    I was shopping in a JC Penny’s one day with my mother and grandmother. We were on the second floor and about to get on the escalators (sp?). I continued to step onto the *moving stairs* and my mother called out to me. So I turned around and started to run back up the stairs (that are still moving down) only to catch my sandal. Of course, I fell. So I panic and I’m grappling, trying to get back up (on the stairs that are STILL MOVING DOWN). My mother and GM are running over to me PLUS about five (it felt like 20) sales ladies came running to the rescue also! Finally I was able to stand up. “Are you OK?!?!” was flying at me from a million different directions and all I could say was…”My shoe.” So we all just stood there-in silence-and watched my sandal finally reach the bottom of the escalator. NEVER again have I tried -THE BONEDHEADED MOVE- of walking up a ‘down’ escalator or vice versa EVER AGAIN!

  35. SuzyQ on 05 Nov 2009 at 11:50 am #

    I once threw something to a co-worker who was standing in front of our computer system. Well, my aim was slightly off and I ended up hitting the power button and shut down the whole system. It took about 2 seconds before the phone started to ring. Thankfully it was late in the day and most people were already signed off. What a stupid place to put the power button!

  36. Kerri on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:03 pm #

    OK, I’ll share what happened just Monday. My friend and I went out to lunch in her new (used) car. We got there right when the restaurant opened, so parked right in the front. When we came out, we were having a rather animated conversation (about how hard it is to find certain sizes for our kids) and just walked up to the first black car, assuming it was hers. She even used her remote to unlock the doors (so she thought). We both got in and sat down, and then she started picking up stuff from the center console – “What’s this receipt doing here? Whose sun glasses are these? OH MY GOD – This isn’t my car!” We jumped out of there so fast! Then we were scared we might have left some trace evidence behind! Turns out there was an SUV between the wrong car and her car, and she did indeed unlock her car with the remote – it was that close! People should really lock their cars so random people don’t accidentally wander into them…

  37. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:10 pm #

    These are so funny!

    Alicia, your journey on the escalator sounds right out of a Sandra Bullock movie.

    Suzy Q, you and Jack London can join forces, shutting down power and triggering fire alarms

    And Kerri, I really laughed at that! Reminds me of a time when I bought a house many years ago. I was in the living room and heard someone walk in the kitchen door. She said, “hello!” and she took something and put it on the stove. I just stared at her. She said, “Is Anna getting ready?” I said, “I think you have the wrong house.”

    She looked really blank, but a moment later her face turned really red. Anna was the woman I had bought the house from. I had forgotten her name and her friend had forgotten she’d moved. hahaha

  38. Suzanne Enoch on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:13 pm #

    Oh, where do I begin? So many boneheaded things, so few characters allowed. *g*

  39. Trini on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:14 pm #

    Julia this is very funny… I think sometimes my mind is in “stand by”, but I’m not the only one in my family… A few days ago my middle sister called me and she said: “Hi Marta, I’m Trini…” (eeehhhh????) when my mind understood the phrase (a few seconds later) I said: “Darling, I love you very much, but…. when we change our names???? I prefer mine…” We laugh very much, and I think…”well, I’m not the only one… It should be a family defect…..”

  40. Nicole Jordan on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:25 pm #

    Too funny, Julia! And everyone else.

    I agree with Suzanne’s statement:
    Oh, where do I begin? So many boneheaded things, so few characters allowed. *g*

    And it gets worse as I get older!!!!! That’s the really sad part. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

  41. 1slkchk on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    I went to a drive thru of a fast food place called El Pollo Loco (that I always go to) and ordered 2 chicken carnitas tacos and they said we don’t have any. I said, “you had them yesterday, where did they go?” They said, “they never had tacos”. I said, Am I on Canded Camera?” Right before I started to argue I noticed the menu and I realized I didn’t go to El Pollo Loco I went to Dairy Queen! So as proud as I could I said, “Well you should expand your menu to include tacos” and drove passed the drive thru window head held slightly low. What I want to know is when did they move the El Pollo Loco from the corner when it was on the corner yesterday?

  42. Alicia on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:36 pm #

    Trini! That is hilarious! I’ve called the wrong number by accident and left a very personal, long voicemail! Then the person calls back and is like, “Ummm I think you have the wrong number!” Talk about turning ten shades of red!!!

  43. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:40 pm #

    1slkchk now that’s the way to do it. Make it like THEY are the boneheaded ones for not having tacos in the first place, LOL

  44. Claudia Dain on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Julia! OMG!! The woman who came into your house looking for Anna wins the Bonehead Award for the decade! That is too funny!

    And, no, I didn’t mention finding the REAL GOLD earrings to the facial place. I, unlike others I could name, think that old accusations, recriminations, and defamations should stay buried and forgotten. After all, the police were never called.

  45. Lisa G on 05 Nov 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    I think I am a bonehead everyday! I sometimes get dressed so fast that I don’t realize that I have put on a red pair of underwear on which can be seen under my light colored Adias pants. Talk about feeling like white trash! Ever thought that you be able to stay home all day so you didn’t put your bra on then one of your kids call from school saying they forgot something. Oh yeah! You walk into a classroom with the “girls” bouncing around and notice the adolescent boys are staring at your chest with smiles on their face. That’s me! I apologize now to my children for the lame things their mother has done to scar them for life. I have done many more things but to spare myself total humiliation I will stop here!

  46. nancyg on 05 Nov 2009 at 1:53 pm #

    I’m telling on myself again…

    when I find a pair of shoes or a purse I particularly love, I’ll buy it in several colors to match all my outfits.

    Yup, you guessed it! Got up early for an 8 am client meeting, showed up at work with one black shoe & one dark blue shoe. They looked the same in the closet when I was changing!
    (later that day… met my co-workers & client at the restaurant for lunch after ducking in & buying a new pair of shoes)

  47. Karen Hawkins on 05 Nov 2009 at 2:05 pm #

    Oh yeah … went a week and once a month late to a doctor’s appointment. Forgot the life insurance guy was coming by once and answered the door in a housecoat. Bought a new car and tried to use the new key on someone else’s car that looked like my own one. Fell in front of my new boss — and not a simple fall, but a glorious Keystone Cops fall that took FOREVER before I finally landed. Lost my car in the mall parking lot oh, too many times to count — I could go on but I’m already embarrassed.

    I AM glad to know I’m not the only one! HELLO, SISTAHS!

  48. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 2:48 pm #

    Have I ever told you guys the story about backing into a guy’s car twice? It was at an ATM. The guy in front of me would stick his card in, and the ATM would spit it out, and he’d stick it in again, and the ATM would spit it out. So me, being very impatient, throw my car into reverse and hit the gas — and slam into the guy behind me. I never saw him! I get out, I am so frazzled. He gets out. I apologize profusely. Our cars are only an inch or two apart. He says, why don’t you pull up so we can see what the damage is. I say, okay, and get in my car, put it in reverse and BAM, hit him again. I was just so frazzled! He thought I was a huge freaking bonehead and I was.

  49. Margaret on 05 Nov 2009 at 3:00 pm #

    LOL Julia. You reminded me of a couple of stories about my daddy. He wasn’t a funny man, but he did things funny. Once we were sitting in the car in front of the bank while my mother went in to make their business’s deposit. Daddy kept the motor running for the a/c. Unfortunately, he didn’t put the gear into idle. He rolled back and bumped the empty car behind. He jerked around and said “That damned fool hit me!” LOL

    I was also told the family lore story of when he and my mother were newlyweds and went to a New Year’s Eve dance with several other family members. Daddy had been nipping a bit at his Scotch, apparently. He dance half the night with a coat hange still in the back of jacket. And nobody else noticed till late in the evening.

    I guess boneheadedness is in my genes.

  50. evlqn on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:26 pm #

    Strange you should mention bonehead today. We just switched carriers for our phone, internet and cable today, I just got a call from the tech about his tool bag, it is still in my kitchen beside my computer. I myself have NEVER done anything boneheaded, but I have heard of those who have. Anyone believe that?? Anyone??
    The other day we were in Goodwill and I was looking for something in my cart and I had a glass figurine I didn’t want to chance breaking, so I put it in my purse for safekeeping, in front of an employee. Thank heavens I realized what I was doing before I completely put it in the bag.
    My sister lost her Dayrunner recently and we looked all over the house and in the car and no luck. We knew we were going to have to replace all of her ID, I went out to the car to get something else and opened another door and the Dayrunner fell out, it had slid across the seat and fallen down.

  51. Judy F on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    Julia I have done the two different shoes before. Luckily both were flats, one was blue and one was black.

    I have also send emails to a whole group of people when I meant to forward it on. LOL

    I have almost learned to check who its going to. Almost

    Once in an important meeting I had a contact shift in my eye. It looked like I was having a fit. Poor Manager didn’t know what to do. LOL

    I have locked my keys in a running car. Ran up to the house where I knew my parents had kept my extra set. My mom is going on and on while I am trying to say where are my keys. LOL

  52. nancyg on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:49 pm #

    anyone else left their purse in the shopping cart? I turned the car A/C on for the kids, unloaded the cart, put it in the cart return, then drove away without my purse… it’s a big one, so when I have a passenger in the front, I usually put it in the back seat. I didn’t realize it was gone until I got to my next stop. Had to do the walk of shame back to customer service. Thankfully, one of the kids working collecting carts turned it in!!

  53. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 5:00 pm #

    Jack London has left the CPE’s shoes in the cart not once, but twice. I don’t understand why they come off. I don’t understand how you can’t see them in an empty cart. I don’t understand a lot of things, though. :-)

  54. Julia London on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:02 pm #

    Thanks for the chuckles today, you guys. I am so glad to know I am not alone in Boneheadville. xoxox

  55. Patricia Barraclough on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    My bonehead moments tend to be my forgetting things. I would have shown up 2 weeks late for the flight to my Dad’s. I have been known to make comments about events or people and not realize they are standing right there. Luckily nothing I’ve said has been too negative.

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