Now that Madeline has talked about secrets, I’ll admit one of mine–I like heroes who smoke. And no, I don’t mean they’re hot, although I like that, too. I mean, they enjoy tobacco in the smokeable forms. 

Which is why Don’t Bargain with the Devil (coming out on Tuesday, for those of you who are interested) has a smoker for a hero. He’s Spanish, and he smokes cigarillos. They sound very cool to me (along with cheroots–I love heroes who smoke cheroots).  He doesn’t smoke a LOT, but I show him smoking in at least three scenes that I remember. 

Oddly enough, however, I am not now, nor have ever been, a smoker. I never had any desire to try smoking. My husband doesn’t smoke, and neither does anyone in my immediate family. So why am I attracted to heroes who are smokers? No clue.

Maybe it’s the hazy memories of my great-grandfather, who not only smoked cigars, but reeked masculinity. Maybe it’s that throaty smoker’s voice. It may even be the smell. When other women complain about it as a filthy habit, I don’t understand. I adore the smell of cigars and pipes and cigarettes, even though my throat can’t tolerate the smoke for long. The point is, smoking is sexy to me in the abstract and in books, although I suspect that I wouldn’t find it sexy for long in a husband.

I fear that the growing dislike of smoking in public and elsewhere means I’ll soon be writing my sexy smokers for myself alone. Times change. I just wish that I could outgrow the smoker=sexy thing.

So how do you feel about smokers in books? Do you drool when you see a hero smoking? Does it gross you out? Would you ever not read a book because the hero smokes? And are your feelings about tobacco and smoking different for real life from your feelings about it in books?

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I know who I am, and I know who I am not. And what I am not. I am very accepting of myself. I am also reconciled to certain limitations and inadequacies.

None of which means I can’t dream. Or that what you see is all there is.

I have moments when I think “Someday I want to be a X. ” Or “I’d like to do Y.” And sometimes I engage in activities or indulgences that are out of character, or at least the character that others see. The people who know me would never guess that I had these fantasies, idiosyncracies, or private pastimes or habits.

For example, I would like to be an athlete. Stop that giggling! I had a heroine in one of my books who was a kick ass female jock and I really related to her. I can picture myself running 20 miles, being an expert archer like her, etc. Of course anyone who has met me can’t picture that without wetting themselves from laughing. Especially since, in real life, I am one of those people who loathes sweating. My friends would be surprised I had this ongoing fantasy.

There are other things about me that almost no one knows, or didn’t know at one time or another.  Until I was published, only a handful of people knew I was writing. Even my mom and sisters didn’t. It wasn’t a secret. It just wasn’t something I wanted everyone asking me about. (Has the book sold yet? Huh, has it? When is it going to sell?— Um, well, no, it hasn’t, but thank you for depressing me today.) It surprised the heck out of many people when it became known.

I curse shamelessly when I am driving. I have to keep the windows closed so no one will hear. But I’ll tone it down if you are in the car, and you will never guess or know this even if we have been friends for years. I have always wanted a black room too. Black walls and ceilings. I would feel very cool in that room. No one knows that but you guys now. And one of my favorite things is getting a pedicure. I am not a girly girl, so people who know me would be surprised that is so high on my list. 

What about you? Just fill in the blank: People who know me would be surprised to learn that I______________

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I got married a few weeks ago … actually, in March sometime. Don’t ask me the date; I don’t ‘do’ dates. I ‘do’ months because that’s easier and just as much fun.

Anyway, I got married to a man I’ve been dating for oh, four or so years. We’re taking things slow. At a crawl, to be accurate. One day at a time. Easy going. No pressure. Just moseying along.

We’re that kind of people. We mosey through life. Smell the flowers, maybe even stop and have a picnic if the time is right. We got married the same way. When the time was right.

This is the second marriage for both of us. We each got our practice marriages out of the way and if you knew our exes, you’d just nod wisely and say, “Good riddance.”

‘Nuff said.

Needless to say, we enjoy each other’s company for three main reasons beyond simple love — 1) peace, 2) quiet, 3) peace and quiet. We’re just not into drama; we’ve had the taste for it beaten out of us.

So, when we decided to get married, we chose the easiest, least dramatic way to do it — we went to the courthouse, filled out a form, flipped out a credit card, and let the clerk perform the ceremony. It was lovely, quiet, and peaceful and we walked away, hand-in-hand, very satisfied with the process, and grinning like — well, newlyweds.

Of course, there were some moments of mirth because well, that’s how Hot Cop and I roll — we live, we grin, we chuckle, we read, and in between we watch CNN and The Colbert Report. It’s just who we are.

Here are the moments of mirth from the ceremony:

The building holding the Winter Park Court House is a multi-use building and a good portion of it is rented out by another business. In small letters it says Winter Park Court House, but over it in HUGE red letters it reads SCHOOL OF MASSAGE THERAPY.

We chuckled all of the way into the registration area.

Once we’d taken our number and were waiting for the ceremony, we had to read a booklet about … divorce. Not about how to have a good marriage — that would make sense. But a booklet about how horrible things would be if we didn’t make it, which is very screwed up in a bureaucratic sort of way.

We giggled at that.

They have an actual room where they perform ceremonies. This room has an arch with fake flowers on it. We didn’t expect such a festive location, having imagined we’d just be standing beside someone’s desk somewhere. We didn’t even dress up, so the whole arch-business seemed like serious overkill to us. What really made us laugh, though, was when the lady performing the ceremony was a bit of a marriage-Hitler and really got into the moment. She told us we had to move back, to stand further under the archway. And when we did, she told us to move back even more, I suppose so that the fake flowers could ‘frame’ us.

We looked around and we were the only other two people in the room and there was no camera, but she was adamant. When we were firmly positioned under the fake flowers, THEN she began the ceremony.

We had to laugh. Hot Cop even teased her about it, asking if she was a frustrated wedding planner. “No,” she said with a sheepish grin. “I just like things to be done right.”

Don’t we all.

So things were done right. In a few weeks, we’re having wedding rings made, something simple and easy and uncomplicated, and the entire thing will be done with and we’ll be exactly where we were before — happy and peaceful and uncomplicated and moseying through life hand-in-hand.

If we had a theme for our wedding it would be something like this … and they loved happily ever after.

Do you like big weddings or little weddings? Have you eloped or every thought of eloping? What’s the best wedding you’ve ever been to? The worst? The funniest?

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We’re always trying to improve things here at tgb, but we need your help. Let us know what’s working and what could/should be better by answering this short survey!

1. How often do you visit tgb?

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7. Is there any information you’d like to see on tgb that isn’t there now?

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9. Name one thing you like about tgb?

10. List one thing you’d like us to improve?

Just to make it worth your time to answer our lil’ survey, we’ll draw two answers at random and send them a goddess prize! Thanks, my lovely goddesses! We’re always trying to make your tgb experience better, so stay tuned for updates and changes!

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I love a good quote. One that fits the situation and sums up how I feel without me having to exert my own brain power. Because I am a very impatient person, my current favorite is:“Brevity is the soul of wit.” from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. It sounds so much better than, “Get to the dang point!”

Here are my next top five favorite quotes of the moment:

1.“You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”–Dorothy Parker

2. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”–Albert Einstein

3. “They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.”-Hosea 8:1-14

4. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain

5. “One man’s Voltaire is another man’s Screech.”– Dennis Miller

What are some of your favorite quotes?

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Okay, guys, I succumbed – and I blame Goddess Madeline for my fall.  I signed up for Twitter and it is fun, but a major time sucker-outer!

I was very smug in my assertion that I’d never do Twitter – that I already had too many ways people could contact me.  But succumb, I did.  So, come on, tweet with me!  Did you know a group on Twitter is a “Twibe”?  I got a chuckle out of that.

There have been other things I’ve sworn I’d never do, then succumbed for one reason or another.  Here are a few:

1) Get a cat.  I said I’d never be a cat person, but now I have three – Bella (who’s starred in one of my books), Kali (Hindu Goddess of Death and Destruction) and Homer, because he’s a couch potato.  They wormed their way into my heart.

2) Eat artichoke-spinach dip.  It’s kind of green.  But one taste and I was hooked.  So  yummy!  (and so fattening!)

3) Sign up for Twitter.   Gee, thanks, Madeline.

4) Go skiing.  Seemed a crazy thing to do, speeding down a mountain.  (Well, “speed” is a relative term.  The bunny slope is TERRIFYING, despite its cutsey little name.)

5) Watch an Adam Sandler movie.  I saw a part of one of his stupid flicks and swore I’d never watch another.  But then I saw Wedding Singer and cried.  Then I saw 50 First Dates and cried harder.  Yesterday, DH and I watched Reign Over Me.  OMG.  It was a deluge of tears.  I’m now an Adam Sandler convert, but I still think some of his movies are stupid.

6) Do Dance, Dance, Revolution!  I did do this, and my oldest daughter Lolled.  (LOL is now a verb, did you know this?)  I’m not half bad at DDR.  I’m, like, 99% bad, but it’s good exercise and gives us all a good laugh.  (And no, that isn’t me.  Don’t I wish it were, then I’d have a TV that big!  And a butt that small.  Sigh…)

All of these things I’ve enjoyed and I’m glad I finally did them!

However, there are some things I still think I’ll never do.  Skydiving comes to mind, because I am a rational person.  Eating guacamole dip is right up there, too.  It’s also green, but also fattening, and not trying it gives me one less thing I have to deny myself when I diet.  Owning a snake as a pet (ew), at the top of my “Things I’ll never, EVER, do” list.

So what have you done that you said you’d never do?  Did it turn out to be a good experience or a bad one.  Come on, everybody, TWEET with me!

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Two words, my fellow travelers . . . Ingo Rademacher.

Born in Germany, Ingo Rademacher may be more familiar to you as Jasper Jax from General Hospital. Special thanks to goddess poster Looney Tune for suggesting this little stop!

Happy FROSin’, my dears, and WELCOME TO GERMANY!

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