Believe It or Not

May 27th 2009
Nicole JordanWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth

76 Responses to “Believe It or Not”

1. ladydawgfan on 27 May 2009 at 11:06 pm #

   Oh, yeah!! In fact, it happened just recently with the son of a cousin, whom I haven’t seen since he was a baby. He is getting married and his fiancee, whom I have also never met (and couldn’t pick out of a police lineup to save my soul!), sent us an invitation to a bridal shower that was more of a demand for gifts than an invitation to a party. It listed, IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE, where the bride and groom were registered, and at the end of the “invitation,” mentioned that the bride and groom were planning a lovely 2 week luxury honeymoon trip to Cancun, Mexico, and we were “invited” to “donate” to the trip fund!!!

   I was then, and am still astounded by the lack of class and taste in such an invitation, especially since we hardly know the groom, know the bride not at all, and live 800 miles from the couple in question and couldn’t possibly attend either the shower or the wedding itself!!! As I mentioned, they were clearly trolling for gifts, and NOT the company of relatives!!!

   Low rent!! Completely and utterly low rent!!!

2. Kasey on 28 May 2009 at 12:14 am #

   I wouldn’t feel guilty for declining. I know I sold roll and cookie dough for my senior trip, which was a week in New York City, and we took a bus because it was cheaper, but if someone told me no, I was not insulted at all. Of course I only sold to people that I knew and what I didn’t make in fundraising I paid for myself with my part time job. She shouldn’t expect everyone to fund her trip, espeacilly strangers who have no use for the product she is selling. Hell, I would have probaby told her, that sounds lovely, but I am saving for my own trip to Europe and cannot afford to fund yours as well.

3. Ayse on 28 May 2009 at 3:24 am #

   Her parents should have taught her better manners. I never give money to anybody who asks by coming to my door or in the street… you never know what they will do with it. I like giving to legitimate charities.

   When I was in NYC last summer I had a couple come up to me asking for money for food. I offered to buy them food and they were like no no just give us the money and we’ll buy our own food because we’re vegetarians.

   Another thing that had me shaking my head was I saw a couple fighting and the guy flipped out on the girl. He was cursing her and had to be held back. 1 week later she was with him. So sad!

4. Ayse on 28 May 2009 at 4:51 am #

   Love your answer Kasey

5. Susan M on 28 May 2009 at 6:10 am #

   This happens to me daily…with my boss. I never know what he is going to do or say. And it’s only gotten worse since we had to start sharing office space. For example, on Tuesday he told the pres of our company when he came in our office that he had to check with his secretary to make sure he was available (I am not his secretary and he sits in the same room with me). After I ask him if he is available he gets on the speakerphone, pushes the button for my extension and says, “Send him in.” Now he keeps telling me I need to follow protocol and call him on the phone to make sure he’s available. WE SIT IN THE SAME ROOM AND IT’S NOT THAT BIG. So now he thinks that’s so funny he keeps calling me on the phone to tell me things. He also has the president of our company stopping at my desk everytime he wants to talk to my boss.
   My boss also decided to tell me last week how he was a man-whore in high school and college. Like I really need to know that.
   And when I first moved into the same office space as him he kept asking me if I wanted to shut the door and make out.
   It is never a dull moment with my boss and I have many, many more stories.

6. cail on 28 May 2009 at 6:17 am #

   man, can i stow away in that girl’s luggage? i want 6 weeks in London!!!

   That was so rude of her to press you like that. You ask once, give you the chance to say yes or no and then move on. Even if she did know you, it’s rude to pressure anyone into giving you money.

   one of my ‘can’t believe ppl do this’ things relates to house guests. I’m always surprised when people keep staying. What happened to the 3 days for guests and fish rule?

7. Product on 28 May 2009 at 6:19 am #

   I wouldn’t feel even a grain of guilt if I blew that girl away. Her argument: “some neighbors without children were buying the books” would make me grab her hair and make her hairless. Just because others did something doesn’t mean I should do too. If others gave you a house so you wold make a party, doesn’t mean I should do it too. Uh, that makes me mad!

8. Pesky on 28 May 2009 at 6:24 am #

   Sadly, your neighbor’s child was probably told to use that approach when selling said children’s books. It reminds me of the Friends episode when Phoebe is selling toner and is given pat answers to any objections…first call out she’s told “no” and then asks why so that she can use on the the pre-scripted answers, the client says “because I’m going to kill myself today”, there is no response to that.

   My most recent moment of “wha?” was being called by the local breast association, who called for donations at dinner, “I’m sorry I don’t give donations over the phone. Please take me off of your calling list.” to which I hung up. The intrepid telemarketer then called me back twice in the next ten minutes, got huffy when I hung up and on the last call said “You’re very rude”. *blink* Gotta tell you, I’m ok with that.

   I don’t give out my credit card information over the phone, I donate to the charities I’m going to donate to via mail or direct contact. Please, don’t call me to solicit funds. If there is a fundraiser, mail it to me. If I know you and you’re selling tickets to one, ok, then you can call me.

9. Margaret on 28 May 2009 at 6:32 am #

   Nicole, thank your lucky stars that you didn’t fork over one red cent to this girl! Who may or may not be a friend of the girl next door.

   I didn’t know this old scam was still around. Guess a good one never dies. And that’s exactly what it is. The girl isn’t going to Europe any more than I am. I fell for this when I was in my late 20’s and a voracious magazine reader. One day, a spiffy, neatly dressed young man rang the door bell and gave me the same spiel you got from the girl. He was “going to Europe” too. I can’t remember the details except that his was for college. I ended up paying an exorbitant amount for some magazine subscriptions. I finally started receiving them, but later found it would have been cheaper to buy them at the newsstand. Later I learned that this is a classic scam. A company hires these kids to sell magazines/books/whatever and pays them a pittance to do so. The company pockets the majority of the money.

   Did she say what high school? I would call them. I would ask the police if this scam was going around. I would call the BBB. I would also ask my neighbor about her in a non-confrontational way. Good on you for not biting.

10. Freshechelle on 28 May 2009 at 6:39 am #

    You go, Nicole! What a non-sympathetic cause to raise money for when there food banks are empty and people are losing their homes.

    Since you’re still stuck with her for a moody teenage neighbor, it’s for the best that your best comebacks were after she left. Reminds me of a bit from a song, “It’s so easy to be witty in retrospect. When you’re out the door you pause a moment to reflect on all the crushing one liners that you could have said.” (Doesn’t read very lyrical on the page.)

    My “I can’t believe that just happened” moments include a customer telling me to “Shut up” because he couldn’t use the locked store exit that was close to his car and another who told me I didn’t take back his clearly used handbag “because you’re too stupid to help me”. First of all, a man shouldn’t carry a woman’s purse, and he shouldn’t use a $1,000 handbag if he wasn’t sure it worked with all his dresses. D-bag.

11. Louisa Cornell on 28 May 2009 at 6:53 am #

    Unbelievable, Nicole. One of the reasons I am SO glad I live in the middle of nowhere is because I don’t get those knocks on the door. My Mom does. Fortunately she lives in a subdivision where she knows all of her neighbors. She’s been there 38 years. She is on Social Security and is less likely to buy and uses that as her excuse.

    The thing I get is coworkers who try to get me to buy their kids’ stuff. Eventually I think they have all figured out I just don’t buy. (Except Girl Scout cookies! Thin mints HELLO!) My charities are all animal charities and most people know that.

    Now the wedding, bridal shower, baby shower, graduation invitations from relatives I NEVER see and sometimes have never even met REALLY tick me off!

    One of my bosses is a complete bully and male chauvinist. It is 2009 and he calls the female assistant managers under him “my girls.” MY GIRLS??? He is insulting and talks to women as if they are servants. We keep threatening to take up a collection to send his wife a sympathy wreath. My bakery crew is all female. He had the nerve to say they weren’t “bright” enough to get a certain concept. WHAT? My response? “You’re an idiot!” He thinks I have an attitude!

12. Karen Rose on 28 May 2009 at 6:55 am #

    Nicole, feel no guilt!

    Six weeks in Europe, my aunt fannie. Jeeze.

    Most of the stories I want to tell will get me in trouble with the people who left me with my mouth hanging open, so I guess I’ll have to keep my mouth shut. Dang.

13. LisaK on 28 May 2009 at 7:21 am #

    Phfff, six weeks in Europe, yeah. I’m always in Europe and does anyone donate money to me because of it? No!

    Okay, stop the bad jokes, ahem. *putting on my serious face*

    I mean, could be that the girl really goes to London and really wants to donate money for it (who knows? Some of my classmates go to Russia the last two weeks of July to build a street. Talking about understanding among nations.), but it’s just rude to make you feel bad about not giving her anything!

    As I find that of late I’m not exactly tolerant towards people who get on my nerves I’m almost constantly thinking “What the…?”.

    However, the most recent thing that comes to mind is something my best girlfriend told me yesterday.
    We had our English test for this semester last Friday. I’m not in the same course as my friend, but we wrote the same exam. One part of it was a translation (English-German). And one guy in her course really had a Translator, some small machine that can translate, on his chair between his legs so that the teacher wouldn’t see it. I was like “What?” because I really think that’s highly unfair and just brazen. Everyone does as best as they can and he uses an electronic device!

14. Sabrina Jeffries on 28 May 2009 at 7:31 am #

    The worst thing was when Nick was going through his really hard period (puberty, of course). After this incident, we stopped taking him to restaurants at all for a while, it was so embarrassing. Autistic kids have more trouble than most kids with the concept of waiting. They don’t understand why they can go into a fast food restaurant and get their food at once, but other restaurants require them to wait (and when you’re talking about a severely disabled, mostly nonverbal child, it’s impossible to explain it).

    So we used to deal with the problem by giving him crackers or something while we waited for the food to keep him quiet. Well, he must have been really annoyed that day for some reason, because we had already ordered, and he started chanting at the top of his lungs, “Cheese sandwich!” (one of about 10 rote phrases he had in his repertoire at the time). We tried to calm him down by giving him the crackers and he LOBBED them into another booth. I was mortified, hubby was mortified, people were asking the waiter to be moved … it was just a horrible situation. (cont.)

15. Lisa H on 28 May 2009 at 7:34 am #

    Nicole, I agree with not only your actions but your thoughts behind them. If someone wants to go to London or to WalMart, they ought to work for the priveledge. I think selling books or candles or cookies are fine, but if the person says “no” than be polite and respectful and say, “thank you for your time.”

    Pushy sales people don’t get far with me. I say “I’m not interested.” and firmly close the door.

16. Lorena on 28 May 2009 at 7:35 am #

    People who run stop signs or cut me off in traffic and give me the finger …. People who buy very large snakes and…oh, wait, that was yesterday’s rant. Sorry. How about people who tailgate? Ever? (I made a conscious decision several years ago to avoid tailgating, even if the person is going too slow. Takes a lot of stress out of driving)

    I think maybe ONCE it’s drawn my attention to the fact that I was really driving too slowly. I usually do elaborate hand gestures (think stereotypical Italian gesturing with the hands and arms) — not the rude kind — when I’m being tailgated in traffic. Looking in the rear view mirror as I do (yes, I’m talkin’ to you!) to point out that, tailgater or not, where do they think I’m going to go? At what speed?

    I think cell phones should come equipped with a device that allows you to call the car immediately in front, behind, or to the side of you regarding these little issues. LOL

17. Sabrina Jeffries on 28 May 2009 at 7:41 am #

    One of the women in the booth where the crackers were thrown brought them over and said, so politely, “your son dropped this” (I wanted to laugh hysterically–it was about as nice as she could put it). As I’m apologizing profusely, she hands HIM the crackers (big mistake) and he lobs them again into the other booth, at which point her companion, another woman, said, “Either YOU control that MF-er or I’m going to come over and control that MF-er.”

    My husband, ever quick with the retort, said, “You’re welcome to try.” I still smile remembering it.

    Now I KNOW my son’s behavior was horrendous, and we got our food to go and left that place right away and stopped taking him to restaurants for a while, even though it meant we never got to leave the house. Such behavior is usual with severely autistic children. It took him years to learn social skills. NOW he’s a delight–sits patiently waiting, uses his napkin, hasn’t embarrassed us publicly in YEARS. But he was nine at this point, and I don’t think anyone should say such a thing in the presence of a child, especially one who is clearly disabled.

18. ericaleigh on 28 May 2009 at 7:41 am #

    Nicole, I say good for you! Sadly I think that I would have given in because I’m such a sucker like that and have a really hard time saying no. I always get roped in by those people in the parking lots selling magazines. I’m probably really lucky that I acutally got my magazines and didn’t just get taken for my money. Sometimes I scare myself with my naivety. I wish that I could stand up for myself more. I absolutely despise being sollicted at the grocery store. They always man both entrances so no matter what you do you can’t avoid it. I do my best not to make eye contact and practically have to run in. Its always good if you can sneak in behind someone else to avoid having to talk to them. I would love to be able to donate to all the worthy causes but at this stage in my life I can’t manage to donate to my own sad case so I choose to donate my time, which in my opinion is a better value.

19. Sabrina Jeffries on 28 May 2009 at 7:46 am #

    Oh, and the one that really made me nuts was when I took Nick (at ten) into a lady’s room with me, because it was just me and him, no hubby. At the time, he couldn’t go in to a men’s room alone–he needed help with redressing and other toileting aspects. This woman walks in and sees him, frowns and says, “Is there some REASON a boy of that age is in the lady’s room?”

    I said, “Yes. He’s mentally disabled” (it’s easier than saying autistic, which a lot of people don’t understand–plus, he actually IS mentally disabled, too).

    She said, “Oh. I had to ask because some boys would want to come in to the lady’s room so they could look at the women.”

    Yeah, right. I had brothers. At ten, they would have died a thousand deaths if Mom had made them go in to a ladies room. They would have been mortified beyond belief. How clueless was THIS woman?

20. Karen Rose on 28 May 2009 at 7:58 am #

    Okay, now Sabrina has given me something I can say without infuriating people I know.

    My daughter was born with a lovely white streak in the front of her hair. (So was I. It’s a genetic thing.) COMPLETE STRANGERS would come up to her and TOUCH her. “Oh, what pretty hair.”

    What possibly gave them the idea that touching a child they didn’t know was okay?

    I wish now I’d forcefully smacked those you-know-whats, but I probably would have ended up charged with assault. I did develop a very frosty expression and would calmly utter, “Take your hands off of my child and go away. Now.” They’d shoot me a look like I was trash or evil or something, like I cared. Not. I really wanted to rip their faces off, but sadly, restrained myself.

    Subsequently, my daughter began to shrink away from people in public places and this is very sad.

    Pregnant women sometimes have people touch them and this is annoying, but it is a lot different when it’s a child who can’t fight back.

21. SheridanLA on 28 May 2009 at 8:08 am #

    Not much shocks me anymore….

    I think the one that irked me the most was when we owned a liquor store.. I had just had one of my employees arrested the night before for stealing from me and dealing/using drugs in my store. Needless to say, I was not in a good mood.

    His teenage son (who we knew helped his dad make off with things) came in and asked for his dad’s last paycheck so they could bail him out of jail. I stared at him for about 5 seconds) not wanting to leap over the counter and physically throw him out) and said “I have a stack of IOUs here from your dad for merchandise, not including what he ‘allegedly’ stole. So, no, I am not giving you his paycheck. I’m also going to remind you that I was the one that put him IN jail. Now get out.”

    Yes, I am going to make sure you can money to get your loser dad out of jail… I think not.

22. Ayse on 28 May 2009 at 8:12 am #

    Sabrina,

    My college had unisex bathrooms and it was actually a good thing. People tend to wash their hands more in those bathrooms

23. ericaleigh on 28 May 2009 at 8:18 am #

    Last night I was the one causing someone to think, “What the heck, why would she say that.” I’m feeling really bad about it too and wondering how I can apologize without making the situation worse. I went to a book signing last night for The Real Real by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Krause (authors of The Nanny Diaries). The book store that was holding the signing is about an hour or so from where I live and I had to travel there during rush hour traffic. I’ve been to this store before for signings and I’m always late so I rarely get to hear the author speak and end up have to wait (standing around) for hours to get my books signed. So imagine my surprise when I arrive with 5 minutes to spare and thinking that its the same old story for me, but there was a sea of empty chairs. I was so surprised because I thought there would be a HUGE crowd. I ended up sitting in the second row and unwittingly made a comment about the lack of people. I realized how it sounded once it came out of my mouth and the ladies made a joke about it. I was really just so happy to get a seat and be able to see and hear what they were going to talk about that I didn’t think before I spoke. And I wish that was…

24. Beth C. on 28 May 2009 at 8:21 am #

    Every year we get the high school kids coming around selling stuff for their trips. Problem is most of the time it has been magazines. I don’t read magazines…we don’t have subscriptions so I say no. And I feel a bit guilty because I was in band and the only way made some of our trips was through fundraisers. Granted my big high school trip was for a week in DisneyWorld and not 6 in London but well times change I guess. We used to sell candy bars. I know this is now out of fashion but I will buy more candy (or fruit or just about any food) before I will buy a magazine.

    For the little kids we are asked not to go door to door anymore. And the girl scouts don’t come door to door. Fortunately, they setup shop in front of the grocery store and strip malls so I can still get my fix every year. Maybe the high school should embrace this attitude and put more thought into what they want from a fundraiser.

25. ericaleigh on 28 May 2009 at 8:24 am #

    the end of my stupidity but it wasn’t. Later when they were signing my books I mentioned that I had signed up for their site and Nikki said “We’ve never met anyone who’s signed up for our site” and I said “Really?”. Now I don’t know what I was thinking but she said that there are thousands of people signed up for their site and now I feel doubly bad because I really hadn’t meant for that to come out the way it did. So now I’m thinking of stalking them on Facebook to apologize but I’m afraid that I’ll just make it worse. But its always an honor to meet the author and I feel that they are really some of the neatest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Just trying to figure out if I can un-insert my foot from my mouth without making it worse!

26. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 8:27 am #

    Okay, okay, y’all are making me feel much better! Thanks, goddesses, for letting me rant, lol.

    And many of your stories are a lot more outrageous than mine. Particularly the kid stuff, Sabrina and KarenR. That really is unbelievable. Sabrina, that lady who gave back the crackers while saying “your child dropped this” seems so kind.

    And KarenR, I can imagine the mother tiger in you coming out when some stranger paws your kid. I’ll bet they never would have guessed that now you dream up serial killers a gruesome ways to murder people for a living, lol.

    LadyDF, that really is something about the wedding gift solicitation!

    Kasey, if it had only been one week I might have even considered helping her out! And I agree with Ayse, your answer is a good one. I wish I’d thought of that!

27. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 8:36 am #

    Ayse, I love your answer to the vegetarian solicitors! And agree that’s so sad about the guy who was pushing around the girl but she went back for more the next week.

    SusanM, my dear friend, your boss sounds like a complete jerk. What’s more he legally guilty of sexual harrassment with those comments about wanting to close the door and make out. There are a few non-threatening things you can say to see if you can get him to stop his behavior voluntarily — I’ll bet some of our goddesses have some ideas — but if not, you can go to your HR people. You shouldn’t have to feel sleazy and uneasy in your own workplace! As for the secretary stuff, that’s pretty jaw-dropping to me. I wish I could think of something you could do to stop it, or at least work out some compromise. Is answering his phone really in your job description?

28. Kathy/Cookiedough on 28 May 2009 at 8:42 am #

    I sit here astounded at the behavior! wow.
    Nothing comes to mind for me in the I can’t believe it dept.

    I would not have given the teen any money either.
    6wks in Europe equals party time for her and her selected pals.

    And the gall to ask you for a paycheck when his dad stole probably more than that value just sickens me Sheridan

    Sabrina, I probably would have launched into full on mother bear mode if some one had sworn at me like that about my child.

29. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 8:43 am #

    >>One of my ‘can’t believe ppl do this’ things relates to house guests. I’m always surprised when people keep staying. What happened to the 3 days for guests and fish rule?

    Yeah, Cail… whatever happened to that rule? I have several different friends who got so fed up with guests not only overstaying their welcome, they expected to be waited on hand a foot! All my friends finally wised up and set ground rules ahead of time. Guests help with cooking and do their laundry.

    >>>” would make me grab her hair and make her hairless.

    LOL, Product. She had such pretty blond hair, she would probably miss it.

    Pesky, I didn’t see that Friends episode but that answer is too funny. I think this girl was going by a script too. And that’s unbelievable that the solicitor kept calling you back and then called YOU rude!

30. Julia London on 28 May 2009 at 8:45 am #

    A cold call while Jack London was without work. They wanted a donation. I told them we couldn’t give at this time. Enough said, right? No. He gave me some other amounts I could give. Which I could have, but at that point, I was perturbed that my no wasn’t good enough. And Jack London and I aren’t scrooges–we do give generously to our favorite charities. I said again, very politely, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have it to give right now.”

    he said, “Surely you can give twenty bucks!”

    I was so angry. I said, “what part of no don’t you get, dude? NO.” And I hung up. And then I felt horrible for being so rude. For about a nano-second. He was the rude one. You don’t call someone and ask for money and then get rude when they don’t bite. Infuriating!

    P.S. We did not have a high school trip that wasn’t for some school function, so this idea of funding little vaca’s for students is new to me. Thanks for the warning!

31. Sarah on 28 May 2009 at 8:48 am #

    I’m offended for you, Nicole. I worked part-time in college to fund my semester in Germany… and I was studying, NOT partying and getting drunk in a country where I was legal. I would never have considered soliciting door-to-door to get others to fund my way. BOTH my grandmothers would roll in their graves if I even thought that an option. Some people just have no manners.

32. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 8:52 am #

    Margaret, I didn’t realize that scam was so frequent. The only door sales person I ever fell for was a girl who was selling a cleaning product. I had just sold my very first book so I was walking on air and feeling very generous. That turned out to be the best cleaning product I’d ever bought!

    >>>My “I can’t believe that just happened” moments include a customer telling me to “Shut up” because he couldn’t use the locked store exit that was close to his car and another who told me I didn’t take back his clearly used handbag “because you’re too stupid to help me”. First of all, a man shouldn’t carry a woman’s purse, and he shouldn’t use a $1,000 handbag if he wasn’t sure it worked with all his dresses. D-bag.

    Freshe, my jaw is on the floor, lol. The first is disgusting, the second is just plain outrageous.

    Louisa, I love mint GS cookies! Good thing they don’t come to doors anymore cause I would be as big as a house. I used to freeze them to make them last. Your boss also sounds like a total jerk. I would love to be a fly on the wall and see you giving him some attitude, lol.

33. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 9:03 am #

    >>>Everyone does as best as they can and he uses an electronic device!

    LisaK, isn’t that cheating??? Does your instructor know about that?

    LisaH, I usally give the same response you do, which may be why I was so taken aback when she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She practically stomped her foot!

    Erica, I’ll bet some of the ladies here could offer some good responses for you to use to get you out of magazine solicitations. As for the booksigning, I’ll bet they were really grateful to you for showing up! That was so nice of you. I think if you were to send them a note saying how good it was to meet them last night (just what you said below) they would be delighted. You don’t need to worry about anything more.

    >>But its always an honor to meet the author and I feel that they are really some of the neatest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Just trying to figure out if I can un-insert my foot from my mouth without making it worse!

34. JudyPatooty on 28 May 2009 at 9:05 am #

    You were absolutely correct not to give that girl any money! How rude! My jaw would have hit the floor, too.

    I remember selling World’s Finest Chocolate to raise money for our high school band. I hated doing it, but as others have said, I only tried selling to people I already knew. I know that group isn’t one of the scamming companies because one of my co-worker’s daughters is selling the same candy 35+ years later raising money for her high school club.

    My most recent jaw-dropping experience was finding some papers sitting in my inbox with a post-it note stuck to them. The note said “please file.” They were left there by my co-worker (not the same one) who had taken the papers out of the file cabinet (which sits in a hallway, not in my office). She is rather passive-aggressive that way. I intend to bring the matter up with our mutual supervisor and also let her know that no matter what her recent change in title is, she is not my supervisor, I am not her secretary, and filing papers that she takes out of the cabinet is not part of my job description. Grrrrrrr.

35. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 9:10 am #

    Sheridan, what a great comeback! Love it! But what gall of those people.

    BethC, I agree, I’ll buy candy or fruit before magazines.

    Kathy/CD, I’m with you… I’m getting some big eye-openers this morning!

    >> “what part of no don’t you get, dude? NO.”

    LOL! Good for you, Julia! It’s just so hard for me to see sweet little you getting so adamant. I’m in awe. And you darn sure don’t need to feel guilty.

    >>> BOTH my grandmothers would roll in their graves if I even thought that an option. Some people just have no manners.

    Hear, Hear, Sarah! I think your grandmothers are people I would have loved to meet.

36. Susan M on 28 May 2009 at 9:17 am #

    Nicole, He’s actually not that bad…most of it is done jokingly but he has been warned about saying the kissing stuff anymore so he’s stopped. As for the phone, nope it is not my job to answer his phone…I have my own phone so it won’t happen. He just tries to see how much he can get me to do for him. I draw the line at certain things. I am his assistant not his secretary and we have a receptionist already. I don’t take too much of what he says seriously unless it’s work related. I also know he’s completely whipped by his wife…I’ve seen that first hand. So it seems he likes to act out at work. On the plus side, he is a very laid back boss who doesn’t care what I do as long as I get my work done. And doesn’t mind if I need to leave early or take a day off. And he was actually wonderful when I had my miscarriage and needed time off. He just needs to learn what is and isn’t appropriate to do now that I’m sharing an office with him. I’m teaching him, though. See he can’t afford to lose me…I run the department for the most part (payroll, billing, etc). He’d be completely lost without me.

37. nancyg on 28 May 2009 at 9:21 am #

    I’m with Margaret – it’s totally a scam! Especially with the magazines & books. Those young people are professional salespeople who work on commission. I always ask to see their solicitation permit – our city requires them. I know this because the Girl Scouts (I’m cookie mom) are required to have said permit to sell door to door. I then inform said salesperson they have about 2 minutes to get out of our neighborhood because I’m calling the police with their current location & description.

    Have you thought about a “no soliciting” sign by your doorbell? It’s also illegal in our city to solicit someone who has a sign prominently displayed.

    My pet peeve is getting invited to all the Southern Living, Pampered Chef, etc. parties my “friends” have. To me, it’s like – can you come over and spend money so I can get free stuff?

    Also – my adult friends who continue to have birthday parties for themselves, and not just for the ones that end in zeros. Really? Are we still in jr. high?

    I also agree with the shower invites – esp. for kids (most of whom I’ve never met) of my acquaintances . If I get a wedding invitation, that’s a different story. I’ll bring a gift there.

38. Karen Rose on 28 May 2009 at 9:55 am #

    <<And KarenR, I can imagine the mother tiger in you coming out when some stranger paws your kid. I’ll bet they never would have guessed that now you dream up serial killers a gruesome ways to murder people for a living, lol.

    Nicole, I didn’t write books about gruesome killers then, but maybe they’re part of the reason I do now!

39. Janae on 28 May 2009 at 10:04 am #

    We were having lunch with my dh’s aunt one weekend when my kids were super little – 3 or 4 and a baby. My ds has red hair just like me, while my dd has a definite peach tinge to it – more so when she was a baby with just peach fuzz on her head. Our waitress made a comment on how beautiful his hair was, and then asked me if mine was natural. I must add that she had the worst attempt at red hair that I’ve ever seen. When I said yes, she went onto say she was asking because she liked my hair and wanted to know if I knew someone who could dye her hair that color. I told her that I had never seen red hair from a bottle that looked natural, and that I doubted that I ever would.

    Karen R – that is so sad about your dd. My sisters and I experienced that growing up, too. IDK why people would have to touch our hair. It’s just red hair. It hadn’t happened to me for years until this older woman at church touched my hair from behind, right after I cut it to donate to Locks of Love. It’s just creepy. I would never think to touch anyone else’s hair.

40. SuzyQ on 28 May 2009 at 10:10 am #

    The most flooring comment I ever received was while I was at a baby shower of a childhood friend. I was about 4 months pregnant at the time and had a previous miscarriage. Another childhood “friend” came up to me and said “So, do you think you’ll actually have this one?”. I was totally speechless. To this day every time I think of this I still cannot believe she said that to me.

41. Karen Rose on 28 May 2009 at 10:29 am #

    SuzyQ. Oh my God.

42. Pesky on 28 May 2009 at 10:40 am #

    OK SuzyQ…this is where it is perfectly ok to point at a person and say “YOU! Out of the gene pool!” (which is one of the nicer comments I’d make to someone like that.)

43. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 10:47 am #

    >>>OK SuzyQ…this is where it is perfectly ok to point at a person and say “YOU! Out of the gene pool!” (which is one of the nicer comments I’d make to someone like that.)

    ROFL, Pesky! What a great line. I’ll have to remember that.

    SuzyQ, that is just appalling. Pesky’s comeback would have been so right on.

    JudyP, how do you deal with someone like that? What would happen if you wrote back a nice note and said something like, “I’ll be happy to file yours if you’ll file mine.”?

44. samantha on 28 May 2009 at 10:47 am #

    I used to work with a lot of people who had kids. They were always selling something for some school trip or sports uniforms or something. I didn’t really mind helping out. I used to have to sell chocolates and cookies for my European trip and my Graduation.
    I just don’t think these kids should be going door to door. It is too dangerous and it is scary. I don’t even think the Girl Scouts go door to door…. I am always wary when a kid comes to the door trying to sell something, and I did have a similar experience with a petulant young man who basically told me where to go when I wouldn’t take a subscription to the newspaper. I would never pay for that particular paper, no matter who was getting the money…ha.

45. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 10:51 am #

    >>I always ask to see their solicitation permit – our city requires them.

    Wow, NancyG, wish my city had those, lol.

    Re solicitations, I’m soooo glad Congress came up with the Do Not Call lists!!!!

    Janae, I would love to see your hair. It must be beautiful. And yes, I suspect it’s nearly impossible to get good-looking red hair out of a bottle.

46. Margaret on 28 May 2009 at 11:14 am #

    Janae, my 18 year old granddaughter has red hair. And it’s curly. We always say the fairies brought her. She looks dainty and delicate but she’s tough as an old boot. She made 12 trys (touchdowns) in a rugby tournament this past weekend.

    When she was around 3 or 4, we used to eat at local Chinese restaurant. One of the waitresses was obsessed with Olivia’s hair. She would stand behind her and run her fingers thru it. Olivia loved it and would nearly fall asleep. The girl was so short that she wasn’t much taller standing than Olivia was seated on a booster chair. Big O loved that waitress and always wanted her when we went.

    If you want to see her senior picture, it’s on my blog. http://cookeemama.blogspot.com/

    You are right. You could never get red out of a bottle that looks natural.

47. nancyg on 28 May 2009 at 11:17 am #

    SuzyQ:

    That woman that came up to you is unbelievable!! What an utterly cruel & heartless thing to say! I’ve been known to have diarrhea of the mouth at times (usually after a few cocktails), but even *I* have a stop button!
    Gee whiz!

    Nicole:

    Yes, our city has a lot of laws, lol. At least we don’t have a HOA in our neighborhood, but I did get notice from the city “property standards” dept. since the paint on one side of our house is faded. I have 30 days to comply or the city will come out, paint it, & bill us. If you don’t pay them, they put a lien on your property.

48. Freshechelle on 28 May 2009 at 11:30 am #

    Suzy Q, let’s hope that the woman who said that cringes with deep regret whenever she remembers what she said. I’ve had some incredibly awful unintended stuff like that make its was out of my mouth and have wondered where it came from and how could it have happened.

49. LoriHandeland on 28 May 2009 at 11:41 am #

    Nicole,
    I wouldn’t feel guilty one second for turning that kid down. The nerve! Asking is one thing, being rude about being turned down is another.

    I NEVER answer the door at our house. I’m home alone, working, all day. Anyone who knows me knows this and will call and say they’re coming for whatever reason (and it better be a good one!). Some have called me from the front porch to tell me to let them in since I’m ignoring the bell and the dog is freaking out at the window. This has cut WAY down on the annoying solicitations.

    I have had so many unbelievably rude things said to me that I can’t list them all. I always mutter “were they raised by wolves?” to my husband. Of course I think wolves might have more of a clue about polite behavior than some people.

50. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 11:42 am #

    Speaking of diarrhea of the mouth… I still cringe years later about asking a woman who had suddenly gained a lot of weight on her stomach when the baby was due. She wasn’t pregnant at all! I truly dind’t mean to be cruel. I was just trying to show interest in her.

    Samantha, that was outrageous of that sales guy… but then I’ve never been in sales…. couldn’t stand the rejection, lol. So I guess I can’t put myself in his shoes.

    NanG, I guess I’d rather have my city’s laws after all, lol.

    Marg, your gd is beautiful. What gorgeous hair! And the rugby tyrs are so cool. I can see why you’re proud of her.

51. Julia London on 28 May 2009 at 11:48 am #

    As for kids, Jack London and I don’t get angry, but we just marvel at this. The Cutest Toddler Ever has been wearing glasses since he was eight months old. We are rarely out in public that someone doesn’t ask us if the glasses are real.

    We can’t imagine why they would think we’d put glasses on a baby as an accessory. Of course they are real!

    And then, one day in the park, a little boy who was maybe 3 or 4 ran up to the CTE and yanked his glasses down (they are strapped on). Jack London said, “HEY! Don’t do that,” or some thing like it, and that cute little boy turned around to Jack (who is 6′2″ and a big guy) and said “F— You!” and ran off.

    We still haven’t gotten over that one.

52. Sabrina Jeffries on 28 May 2009 at 11:49 am #

    Suzy Q, that reminds me of when I was pregnant with Nick, and I told people about it when I was two months along. My professor chided me for telling people until I was sure that I wasn’t going to lose the baby. Gee, thanks for the encouraging words, Prof!

    But I did understand it. His wife had had two miscarriages at that point, and I think he thought he was just being helpful.

    Sometimes people just don’t think.

53. Margaret on 28 May 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    Thank you, Nicole. She’s a pistol. So different from her big sister. When she was a toddler and her hair finally began to sprout, people would ask her mother or me if we colored her hair. Huh? On an 18-month old? Guess that sort of goes along Julia’s CTE and his glasses.

    Why yes. We dye her hair and put glasses on her because she’s in the witness protection program. hee hee

54. Karen Rose on 28 May 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    People always asked if we dyed our daughter’s hair, too. Think about it, people. Do you know how long a baby would have to sit still with color on her hair? And it was totally white, too, like Rogue on Xmen. To lift all that color off? Mercy, I don’t want to sit still that long…

    When I was growing up, it was always, “Do you know how many women pay to have that done? You should be grateful.” I would have been more grateful if they’d kept their words to themselves and if I’d looked like everybody else.

    Sabrina – I’m sure your prof really was trying to spare you pain. I bet his wife yelled at him over that one.

    I, too, can remember really stupid things I’ve said over the years. Makes you want a do-over button. Sigh.

    But I’m still floored by SuzyQ’s “friend.”

55. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 12:43 pm #

    When my oldest son was little I was waiting at the Greyhound to return to LA and this man got off the bus to tell me what an outstanding gorgeous little girl I had. I thanked him nicely and told him that was my son. Everyone made that mistake so I was used to it.

    I had a man “spare-change” my son when he was 4 years old. We were leaving our neighborhood store when this guy asked my baby for money! I turned right around and told the owner what had happened. Hank, the owner, was a retired NYC vice cop. He took it badly because he and his wife really loved my kids. That man left our neighborhood never to return.

    Lori, after all the books you have written you KNOW wolves have better manners. There are rules in the pack.

    Margaret Olivia is beyond pretty and I wouldn’t be fooled by that gentle exterior, I have one just like her coming up. My soon to be 5 year old g-daughter looks like a fairy princes and is as tough as a lineman.

56. Dorthy on 28 May 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    The only “I can’t believe they did that” moment that comes straight to mind was right after I had my first child. I had gotten pregnate before I married my hubby, and his mother didn’t believe the baby was his. so the first thing she said when she saw the baby for the first time, which was the day after I had the baby was “OH, I guess it is HIS, looks just like he did when he was born.”
    My jaw fell open and my hubby turned red, I couldn’t believe that she had said that.

57. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    Dorthy, did you tell her ,”Yes but I love the baby anyway. A child can’t help the family it is born into.” I hope she is a nicer person now. I didn’t marry my first son’s father and my second one was two and a half before I married his dad. And all things considered I should have just stayed in the casino.

58. Kathy/Cookiedough on 28 May 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    I come back to get even MORE floored by what people say and do!!!
    I do remember a then close friend telling me 1 day after my dad’s funeral that it wasn’t his ashes in the urn and mostly likely cigarette or tree ash. I burst into tears and told him off. I really haven’t spoken to him since he did say it to be cruel.

59. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    I agree, Kathy, my jaw is dropping even more!

    Lori, wolves definitely have better manners. My friend owns a wolf who is much better behaved than his husky! And I’m the same way about not aswering the door when my dh is gone. I check the doorbell ringer at an upstairs window first. Which maybe why the kid thought she could be rude, come to think of it. I was talking down to her behind a window screen, lol.

60. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 1:37 pm #

    Julia, that is so sad about the boy bully doing that to your darling toddler. I just watched Hancock for the first time on TV last night… Will Smith plays a superhero with atrocious manners. But when this boy bully calls him a bad name for the umpteenth time, Will sends the brat flying off into the atmosphere. I was cheering him on!

    And no, I cannot believe why anyone could possibly force your child to wear glasses, Julia, or that you dyed your d’s hair, KarenR! Amazing.

    Evlqn, I’ve made that mistake with youngsters, too. I’ve tried to keep quiet and not put my foot in my mouth. But that’s scary about a guy panhandling your kid!’

61. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 1:37 pm #

    Dorthy, that’s pretty unbelievable! Did you get along with your mil after that? I don’t know if I would have ever forgiven her!

    >>>Dorthy, did you tell her ,”Yes but I love the baby anyway. A child can’t help the family it is born into.”

    ROFL, Evlqn! Great zinger.

    Kathy, that was so cruel! I can’t imagine any jerk being that cruel. I can see why you don’t speak to him anymore.

62. Solveig on 28 May 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Nicole, I would not feel guilty about blowing her off if I were you. When I was 16 me and my graduate class went on a bus tour around Iceland for a week but we had to work for every penny. And I mean WORK as most of it was helping fishing boats (large ones) unload heavy frozen fishboxes out of their holds for hours, and usually at night or on the weekends. It was hard but brilliant fun and paid very well. I´d say those kids should do some hard work for their money and build a little character rather than go panhandling from house to house and being rude. “SHESSHHHH!” I mean six weeks? Like the economy is today?! I´d have kicked her lazy butt off my lawn. :ÖD And Suzy Q? Why on earth did you not just “hand her one in the gob”? You could blame the hormones. My stomach tightens when babies are in danger in movies let alone in real life. What a ……….! And Dorthy…. I hope you don´t have to see your mother-in-law very often! Did your husband not say anything to her?!!!! How aweful, I would never have talked to her again! Or refused to let her see the baby….EVER!

63. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 1:40 pm #

    Nicole, it doesn’t matter if you are face to face, behind a screen or swinging from the ceiling, rude is rude! My “dh” would say she has a pair that clanks when she walks. And I wouldn’t have bought a thing from her either. But if she wanted to take me to London for 6 weeks we have a talking point. Anyone else up for Big Ben on Mary Sunshine’s dime?

64. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 2:46 pm #

    I got one for you, someone doused our front porch with gas while we were out today. And then they put water and dirt in the gas can after. We are pretty sure who did it but we can’t prove it.

65. Paula on 28 May 2009 at 3:05 pm #

    Good for you Nicole, I would have done exactly the same thing.
    We have a sign by the front door that says ‘ we do not buy goods at the door from cold callers’ it is from the county council. It works most of the time. The other the door bell rang and I answered it to a young man who said would you like us to qoute to clean your windows? I replied no thanks and shut the door. He obviously couldn’t read!!
    My sister takes the biscuit IMO for verbal gaffes. I had just had my second son, and suffered from a bad haemorrage and been advised not to have any more children when she rang me (I was still in hospital) and said ‘well I was wanting a neice as I’ve seen some lovely clothes I could have bought!!’ My son was less than 24 hours old and I was hooked up to several IV’s and hadn’t been out of bed since before I’d had him. I was speechless, not sure I’ve really forgiven her!

66. Judy F on 28 May 2009 at 3:10 pm #

    Nicole I would not feel guilty at all. People amaze me sometimes.

    When My brothers 2nd daughter was born my sisters mil said to me “oh you finally have a real niece” WTF. My brothers first child isn’t his, his then wife was pregnant when they met. They fell in love and Jeff adopted Mandy after she was born. I told her Mandy is my real niece. This woman is a very nice woman but I just couldn’t believe she would think we would love Mandy any less since she wasn’t my brothers child by birth.

    I had a patient recently on the phone tell me to change how we were biling his ins. I told him that was fraud and would not do it. He called me a name and hung up.

    When I worked at the bookstore we had a customer on a sunday night just taking his good old time to leave at closing. I told him nicely several times that the store was closing soon etc. Finally he did buy something and says, “I could keep you all here for a couple hours huh?” I said no, security would be coming if we don’t have the gate down by a certain time and they would make you leave. Idiot.

67. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 3:57 pm #

    Solv, that was really hard work!! I’m like you, I had to work for my high school trip, but not as hard as you did, lol.

    Good heavens, Evlqn! That is downright dangerous. I wonder if you should file a police report for vandalism, so if it happens again you’ll have some ammo to use against the culprit? I’m so sorry! That would frighten me and make me boil at the same time.

68. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    Next time someone hits you up for money just tell them,”I’m sorry darling but you are not one of the charities I support.” And then walk away.

69. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 4:00 pm #

    Good grief, Paula! That really is low. Sheesh. I think you are a better person than I am if you’re still speaking to her.

    Judy, that comment about your real niece was pretty low, too! I loved your reply to the rude custormer about the security guards!

70. evlqn on 28 May 2009 at 4:02 pm #

    I’m pissed alright. We scrubbed it up and I did a “back at ya.” The police are so overworked here that it is useless to file.

71. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 4:03 pm #

    >>Next time someone hits you up for money just tell them,”I’m sorry darling but you are not one of the charities I support.” And then walk away.

    Oh, I like that! Thanks, Evlqn!

    I have to add that part of my beef with this high school girl is that her parents could well afford her trip to London. When I was a kid, my parents couldn’t afford to send me on luxurious vacations, so I had to earn it all the hard way, not by hitting up neighbors I’d never even met.

72. Jamie on 28 May 2009 at 5:36 pm #

    I work in a store, so I could tell you over a hundred stories of WTF kind of things. But, I won’t bother you with them right now.

    As for your girl. You did the right thing. It is one thing to give her a little money for her fund. But, I am sure she would be like – “is that all?” I just don’t get it. I was lucky to go to Orlando, Florida for my High School Senior Trip. Now people are going SIX FREAKIN’ WEEKS? If she is that well to do, I am sure her parents can pay for the trip.

    Oh and Evlqn, you hit the nail RIGHT on the head – You say she is not one of the charities you support!

73. TinaLouiseF on 28 May 2009 at 5:47 pm #

    I only remember two school projects to raise money for: the 7th/8th Grade History Trip and as a cheerleader in 8th Grade.

    Our school has a three day history trip every other year. When my brother and I were in school we had two years to raise the money needed by selling chocolate/walnut candy bars and magazine subscriptions. We knew where our classmates lived and didn’t try to sell to their neighbors. Now the school lets all grades try to raise money for any project they can think of. Our group had a hard time raising the money. I think we averaged $50 per person and had to pay for food and souviners (can’t spell).

    At the time I was in 8th grade, only the 8th grade girls were allowed to be cheerleaders. Since there were only 5 girls in the grade, I was practically required to be a cheerleader so the pyramids would work. We had to raise money to get our first names on our uniform sweater. We sold stationary to whoever would buy it. I think I got one person other than my mom to buy.

74. Janae on 28 May 2009 at 7:24 pm #

    Margaret – she’s beautiful!! I love her hair! I’ve curly hair, too, which took me years to love, probably because my mom has stick straight hair and had no idea what to do with curly hair. Since I started wearing my hair curly, I haven’t had a bad hair day.

75. Dorthy on 28 May 2009 at 9:23 pm #

    my MIL and I dont’ get along that well still today, but she is more careful of what she says to me, especially around my hubby.
    Our biggest fights are actually over my first born. My MIL thinks that since she is the grandma, she should be able to raise the first grandchild. I’m like HELL NO! you didn’t even think it was your sons child, so where do you get off telling me I should just turn her over to you?!
    Unfortunatly being that she lives next door the fights are quite often. But we do our best not to fight in front of the kids. More often than not I bite my tongue, take my kids and walk away.

76. Nicole Jordan on 28 May 2009 at 9:56 pm #

    Jamie, I’ll bet you have tons of stories to tell! It would be cool to hear them.

    TinaL, even though ou didn’t sell much, I’ll bet it was great training to get you out of front of people.

    >>>Since I started wearing my hair curly, I haven’t had a bad hair day.

    Boy, I sure wish I could say that, Janae, lol. My hair is board straight which works for some people but not me. I have to do all kinds of things to it to make it look decent.

    Yikes, Dorthy, that must be hard living so close to your mil! I guess I can understand why she might feel the urge to raise her first grandkid, but she can’t possibly think you would agree, could she? You are clearly a better woman than I…. No way could I bite my tongue and walk away. But kudos to you.