The Me You Never Know
May 22nd 2009
Madeline HunterGoddess Readers Speak Out & Madeline Hunter
I know who I am, and I know who I am not. And what I am not. I am very accepting of myself. I am also reconciled to certain limitations and inadequacies.
None of which means I can’t dream. Or that what you see is all there is.
I have moments when I think “Someday I want to be a X. ” Or “I’d like to do Y.” And sometimes I engage in activities or indulgences that are out of character, or at least the character that others see. The people who know me would never guess that I had these fantasies, idiosyncracies, or private pastimes or habits.
For example, I would like to be an athlete. Stop that giggling! I had a heroine in one of my books who was a kick ass female jock and I really related to her. I can picture myself running 20 miles, being an expert archer like her, etc. Of course anyone who has met me can’t picture that without wetting themselves from laughing. Especially since, in real life, I am one of those people who loathes sweating. My friends would be surprised I had this ongoing fantasy.
There are other things about me that almost no one knows, or didn’t know at one time or another. Until I was published, only a handful of people knew I was writing. Even my mom and sisters didn’t. It wasn’t a secret. It just wasn’t something I wanted everyone asking me about. (Has the book sold yet? Huh, has it? When is it going to sell?— Um, well, no, it hasn’t, but thank you for depressing me today.) It surprised the heck out of many people when it became known.
I curse shamelessly when I am driving. I have to keep the windows closed so no one will hear. But I’ll tone it down if 
you are in the car, and you will never guess or know this even if we have been friends for years. I have always wanted a black room too. Black walls and ceilings. I would feel very cool in that room. No one knows that but you guys now. And one of my favorite things is getting a pedicure. I am not a girly girl, so people who know me would be surprised that is so high on my list.
What about you? Just fill in the blank: People who know me would be surprised to learn that I______________
60 Comments »
60 Responses to “The Me You Never Know”
MizMacgyver on 22 May 2009 at 4:15 am #
What about you? Just fill in the blank: People who know me would be surprised to learn that I am a marshmallow.
I put on a huge, huge front most of the time. Stong, terse, have all the answers, super mom kind of person…………..uh no, not really, it is a front and has been for years.
EMMANUELLE JAPPONT on 22 May 2009 at 5:39 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I read tons of romance novels. I don’t hide it but most of my friends don’t read so we never get to talk about it. Plus all my books are in english so when they come home they don’t even check my collection (I’m french)
Pesky on 22 May 2009 at 5:52 am #
People that know me would be suprised to find out that I play several musical instruments, and I do it well. It’s something I do for myself. At the most friends remember I used to play three instruments in high school but figure I stopped when went to college.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 6:20 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I…swear like a trucker when I am alone.
Lisa H on 22 May 2009 at 6:25 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn I have a huge secret (sorry girls, can’t even tell you) it’s not bad, but something I’ve carried for a very long time. Only my best two girlfriends know about it.
LoriHandeland on 22 May 2009 at 6:34 am #
I got nothin’ on that one, Madeline. People who know me pretty much know everything. I seem to have a hard time keeping my lip zipped, I guess.
Karen Rose on 22 May 2009 at 6:38 am #
People are surprised to learn I’m shy in large groups of strangers. But I’ve told that one before on TGB, so it’s not a real secret.
I’ll have to think on that one. Like Lori, I’m pretty transparent. If it’s a secret after all this time, there’s a good reason for it, LOL.
Kim on 22 May 2009 at 7:00 am #
Hmmm, secret, well I’m basically a shy person but most people know all my quirks by now. I guess the biggest secret is that I really would love to start a book discussion group. My friends would be shocked since they know how much I hate meeting new people but none of them are readers and they don’t understand the NEED to discuss a good book.
Lisa H on 22 May 2009 at 7:06 am #
Kim – I would come!
Judy F on 22 May 2009 at 7:11 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I am uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know well.
This was fun yesterday we had a care conference for my dad and my sister couldn’t go so it was up to me. I only knew one person in the room and I had to do most of the talking…
I have a huge secret too but only two people know.
Karen Rose on 22 May 2009 at 7:14 am #
Kim, if you started a group, it would be fab! I’d do phone conference chats with your members. It’s a fun way to meet readers/authors and not involve travel.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 7:20 am #
what is with all these huge secrets? I do too but I might feel better for sharing.
I was sexually molested from age 12 to 14 by a sibling then pretty much blackmailed for it by the same sibling until I told my mom at age 18.
Rachel Gibson on 22 May 2009 at 7:25 am #
That about six years ago, I got my naval pierced. Mr. G hinted around for about a year before hand that he thought I should do it, so on his birthday I did. No one knows, and G is the only one who has ever seen it.
Rachelg
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 7:27 am #
did that fall in the TMI category?
Noelle (Chloe Harris) on 22 May 2009 at 7:37 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I love Mixed Martial Arts fighting.
It’s brutal I know but I can’t help it. It biological I think, the attraction to a show of strength and dominance in the male of the species.
ArkansasCyndi on 22 May 2009 at 7:40 am #
I’d also like to be an athlete who can run marathons Unfortunately, I’m too overweight, and don’t like to sweat.
I can be shy in groups where I know no one, and I force myself to be outgoing and talkative.
I’d love to have an angel tattoo on my shoulder.
Lorena on 22 May 2009 at 7:42 am #
I don’t consider this a secret–in fact, I don’t try to hide it, but really, no one knows I’m painfully shy and uncertain. It befuddles me when people tell me they like me (before they’ve known me very long, that is). And I’m always surprised when people I don’t really know well think I’m funny.
Because I don’t have a choice about talking to people, in public, verbally or in writing, people assume it doesn’t bother me.
Yes, painfully shy person writing ero/rom and romantic suspense, and working in marketing/PR. I may have a well-hidden masochistic streak.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 7:52 am #
Kathy, not TMI if you wanted to share. I have heard that sometimes it helps a lot to do that.
emmanuelle, I think reading romance novels is something that surprises the friends of lots of women. actually, I read my first one due to discovering this about someone I thought I knew, only to learn she read them. When I learned about it, she gave me one. The rest is history.
pesky, I almost added up there that most people would not know that I wish I played musical instruments. So I am envious that you do.
Dorthy on 22 May 2009 at 7:56 am #
People who used to know me…through out elementry, middle, and high school would be surprised that I am a stay at home mom.
People who know me today would be surprised that I wanted to be the first female 5 star general.
No one would be surprised that I read…a lot. I used to get into trouble in school cuz I was reading books other than my school books during class.
BUT people who know and who knew me would be surprised to learn that I only have 100 pleasure reading books in my house at the moment.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 7:56 am #
Kathy–another swearer! I don’t feel so alone. Something about driving just brings it out in me, though. I don’t even realize I am doing it.
Rachel, you have a pierced naval! It is sweet you did that for your DH. I wouldn’t, lol.
MizM—I am not a marshmellow, but many who know me think I am a lot tougher than I am. It shows up with our students at school. I am the one saying cut the kid some slack when others want to hang ‘em high.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 7:59 am #
Noelle, do you engage in those martial arts, or just a fan? No, I would not have guessed that about you.
Lorena, I think that a lot of us don’t know when someone is shy. As you say, it isn’t like you have a choice about being out and about. It is easy to forget that is hard for some people.
I just remembered another thing. Most people who know me would be surprised to learn that I have always wanted to be a cowgirl.
elsiehogarth on 22 May 2009 at 8:04 am #
I’m a very independent person but I have to say that I also don’t like being a large crowd of people. I won’t say I’m shy but I really have to give myself a talk-get over it-and just walk into the room.
To Kim: just do it. Start the book club. Get friends, neighbors etc. It’s great. I’ve been in one for the past 18 years. We are 12 women from all kinds of backgrounds that share a love of books. Check out Gaelen Foley’s website:www.gaelenfoley.com under Web Extra-BookClub Hub where she interviewed us for her Book Club feature on her site.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 8:07 am #
Kim, you can see if you can partner with a local bookstore for your group. You can meet there, and they can maybe give the group a discount on the books you buy/order for your reading every month.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 8:08 am #
elsie, I knew you had a group for a long time (and that your group is a great friend of writers!) but not for that long. That is neat, to have had meetings that long. Do members come and go, or have most been there from the start?
Karen Hawkins on 22 May 2009 at 8:32 am #
I want to join the book club!
And Kathy, it sounds as if you handled things perfectly well as soon as you were old enough to do so. Sorry you had to deal with such pain, but HUZZAH for you for standing up to such a bully! Much huuuuugs! I’m proud of you!
Elsie, 18 years? That’s WONDERFUL!
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I believe in miracles. I’m very pragmatic, almost to an extreme, but I’ve seen things that have no explanation, and I believe with all of my heart that miracles do happen, and every day.
Karen Hawkins on 22 May 2009 at 8:33 am #
Oh! And one more thing, people who know me would be surprised to learn that I wish I could sing. Can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but I looooove music and wish I could sing.
elsiehogarth on 22 May 2009 at 8:34 am #
Madeline, members have come and gone throughout the years all due to moving except for our dear Amy(76) and oldest member which we lost to pnemonia. We still do have 5 orignal members to our current 12. A few years back we had 18 members but it seems that we always fall back to becoming 12. A dozen readaholics ready to talk about what they read during the past month.
Sabrina Jeffries on 22 May 2009 at 8:46 am #
Kathy, IMO nothing is TMI. And yes, I’ve always believed it’s healthy to share. Confession is good for the soul, and all that.
I wrote a blog a couple of years ago about how I’m lacking the TMI gene, so there are very few things people don’t know about me. Probably only a couple. And the ones they don’t know are only because I haven’t thought to tell them. Like this one–I always wanted to be a spy. Yes, you may laugh now. How someone who is lacking the TMI gene could succeed at covert operations is anybody’s guess, but it was something I wanted to be anyway. I think it comes out in my books–my characters tend to be pretending to be something they’re not.
Another thing–I am the world’s worst gardener. I have a brown thumb. The only thing I seem not to kill are my Christmas cactuses (six of them, now). But that’s because they thrive on neglect, I think.
Oh, and only a couple of people know this–I want to own an art car. Or did I tell that in a blog? See? I can’t keep secrets worth a darn!
P.S. I cuss a lot, too. Shh, don’t tell my parents.
Yasmin on 22 May 2009 at 8:48 am #
People I know would be surprise to know that I am actually very reserved ans shy. Because of the way I am, I smile at everyone and end up having people talk to me like they knew me from the longest time. Thats one of my biggests secrets. A smile can open so many people up.
Yasmin on 22 May 2009 at 8:50 am #
Off to work girls. See you later. BTW Good Morning!!!;)
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 8:58 am #
Have a good day, Yasmin!
A spy, Sabrina? Have you had a character be one for you? I do that sometimes. I have my female characters explore one of my interests so I can really fantasize for a few months.
elsie, that is so cool that 5 of you have been there the whole time. It must be like family now.
Karen, I know what you mean. I did that blog on not believing in paranormal, but—– because of things like that.
Dorothy, being a stay at home mom is being a 5 star general, right? Just not called that. The female generals have to wear stockings, so you are better off with your commission.
JudyPatooty on 22 May 2009 at 9:00 am #
Hmmm. I’ve been trying to think of what aspect of me might be surprising to people who know me and I can’t really think of much. I’m pretty transparent nowadays.
I guess it might be surprising to people who knew me in high school and college that I’m really very much of an introvert. I was always involved in clubs and president of this or that and I definitely not shy. It wasn’t until later in life (and I took the Myers-Briggs test!) that I finally figured out that being that publicly involved is actually quite exhausting for me. Then I read a book called The Introvert Advantage and found myself nodding in agreement as it described me perfectly.
Noelle (Chloe Harris) on 22 May 2009 at 9:02 am #
Madeline,
And I would have never guessed you wanted to be a cowgirl. Cool!
Julia London on 22 May 2009 at 9:55 am #
I’m with Lori — People who know me pretty much know me. I constantly talk about things I’d like to do and never do. I’m one of those who like to toss things out there just to see what friends and family would say.
The two things in my life I didn’t tell anyone except one sister was that I was writing a book, and that I got a baby. Both things became very evident later on, and people were very, very surprised. But so was I, hahaha!
Ronlyn on 22 May 2009 at 10:11 am #
People who know me would be suprised to learn that I am a Rodeo Princess. (I haven’t ridden a horse in years, but I was very good as a teen)
that I LOVE football. American football. I yell, scream, cuss, point, call people names…it gets ugly. I get very riled up and have been known to say things like, “Move it Pansy-Ass or I’ll take your job!” Yeah, I’m 5′ tall…really tough. The worst is I’ve said it to the players…the professionals…those guys who make millions playing football. They laugh at me. *sigh* LOL
what else…oh, how about that I’m an excellent shot. My husband was shocked when he took me target shooting once and I hit the bulls eye, repeatedly. He knew I grew up on a ranch and that I’d shot before, but for whatever reason it didn’t fit his image of me.
nancyg on 22 May 2009 at 10:18 am #
I’m pretty much what you see is what you get, but –
I cuss like a sailor on the golf course, but only when I play with the guys – the ladies are usually too easily offended…I wind up saying something like “shi…ttake mushrooms”, lol.
I was a major geek in high school – debate team, student council, Young Republicans, French Club, etc. I’ve read about 90% of Shakespeare’s works – took a class in college, read a play a week + sonnets for a year
I’m half Chinese; living in Texas, most people think I’m of Hispanic descent
I’m a total procrastinator! I manage to pull it together, but usually at the last minute
I’m addicted to high-end purses & sunglasses, but I buy 80% of my clothes at resale stores
for my high school & college friends, that I’m a stay-at-home mom now – I wanted to be a lawyer…ok, I really wanted to be Elizabeth Dole
I can pick up things off the floor with my toes
I’m a visual learner. For as much as I read, I still have to *see* something to get it. Give me a map or blueprint, and I’m good as gold
I’m a technological idiot…and I’m married to “Inspector Gadget”!
Kathleen O on 22 May 2009 at 11:08 am #
People who know me would be surprised to learn that I am not really as self confident as I appear, I come off all big and brash, move over world I am coming through, but that is just the cover for the insecurties I really feel. I have always strived to be this independent person, can go it alone, but that is just not so. I would give anything for someone to be by my side and just give all my burdens to or at least share them. I don’t share everything with my friends and family and I can hold back at lot about things that have gone in my life. Especially health issues. I have gone through a couple of things in which I could have used a family or friend to be beside me at the time, but I did not want to worry them needlessly.
Just the way I am and that I don’t think will ever change. Some people in this world are ment to go it alone and I am one of them.
LauraR on 22 May 2009 at 11:22 am #
No secrets here, what you see is what you get. But I have enjoyed reading about all the surprising things most of the rest of you have shared!
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 11:36 am #
JudyP— It sounds like we have a lot of introverts in disguise on this blog who get what you mean.
Ronlyn, you really have been a cowgirl, sounds like. Boy, I am jealous.
Nancyg, Do people guess you were a geek in h.s.? Or is it just less geeky to have those interests now?
kathleen, I tend to hold back too, so I really relate to your post.
It is neat to get to know some of you better, from your posts. Especially things that we might never learn even if we knew you in person for a long time.
SuzyQ on 22 May 2009 at 11:45 am #
People who know me would be surprised that I always wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. It makes no sense since I am a die-hard Giants fan.
Like some of you, I am also very quiet around people I don’t know. Some of my friends still don’t believe that one
Kim on 22 May 2009 at 12:05 pm #
That I’m actually very insecure and need lots of hand holding/approval.
That I was incredibly shy as a child.
That even though I can be incredibly bawdy and tell naughty jokes with the best of them that sex in books, movies, etc makes me uncomfortable. I’m a sex scene skimmer.
Count me as another curser. I definitely got the sailor gene *G*
J Perry Stone on 22 May 2009 at 12:20 pm #
Great question, Madeline! And terrific answers, everyone.
You all are so surprising.
As for me, people who know me would be surprised to learn I have premonitions when it involves me doing something nice for someone else. If I try to hard to imagine a thing, however, it doesn’t work. Actually, if I try at all, it doesn’t work. It just sort of has to arise and it’s happened so many times, I’ve stopped being surprised by them.
For example: I once entered a contest where the prize was a gold chain. The minute I thought of giving the chain to my kids’ darling bus driver, Ms. May, I saw myself winning it. And of course, I did.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 12:55 pm #
ooh, J Perry, premonitions. I would not tell people I knew about that for fear I would jinx it. Or that everyone would be asking if I had one.
Kim, a sex scene skimmer! And we sweat those so badly. Anyone else skim them?
SuzyQ, I wonder how many woman would join you in wanting to be a Cowboys cheerleader? Probably a lot. It is odd that it isn’t one for your fave team, though. So people who know you really would be surprised. If they are Giants fans too, best not to tell them either.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 1:49 pm #
I’m the complete opposite of Kim.
I don’t tell bawdy jokes and blush when I talk about sex, but I love the sex scenes in books and will on occasionly get a more explicit erotic book to read.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 1:49 pm #
blushing furiously!!!!
nancyg on 22 May 2009 at 2:00 pm #
kathy:
LOL!!
Madeline:
It depends on my mood whether I’m a sex scene skipper or not. I pretty much tend to gloss over them, actually. I read more for the intimacy rather than the nature of the act itself…
I have a senior in high school, and, no, it’s still not cool to be on the debate team, lol. Geeks of the world, unite!!
SuzyQ:
I, too, am a big Giants fan, having grown up in N.J. I live in Dallas now and know a few ex-cheerleaders. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. They have a weekly weigh-in, and if you have to lose weight (they’ll tell you how much!) and don’t make the goal, you don’t perform. If you still don’t make weight, you’re off the squad.
It’s very grueling, long, hard practices, traveling, etc. Not so glamorous… oh, and my friend was told she’d never make the calendar if she didn’t get a boob job (she did & made it 3 years). And you have to sign a code of conduct… and can’t date the football players… and…
cail on 22 May 2009 at 2:06 pm #
Madeline, I’m not a skimmer, but I will skim a bad one.
I fall into the TMI category too. But, I’m better online since I think about what I type first.
Kathy, hugs. Sharing is definitely better. Glad you were able to talk to your mom about it finally.
Emmanuelle on 22 May 2009 at 2:11 pm #
Madeline, I almost never skim the love scenes. Sometimes I do when I don’t like the writter’s style. Basicaly, I like detailed love scenes but not THAT detailed, plus if it’s too “athletic” it kind of bores me… seiously !… but no worries, you girls here write great love scenes… “unskimable” love scenes
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 2:19 pm #
thanks Emmanuelle. And it is okay to skim them, guys. i was just kidding. But we do sweat them. How explicit should it be for these characters? etc. It isn’t like we get to just put in any old boinking, lol.
I don’t mind athletic if it isn’t too complicated. I don’t want to be stopping and frowning and thinking, lessee, his arm is over there and her leg is, no wait, that won’t work, his arm is over here and her leg is, no, I don’t think that is right either. (back a page, reading carefully) yes, her leg is there. but if it is, then how can he be—
Hey, Kathy, no need to blush!
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 2:21 pm #
nancyg, there was a reality tv show about the cowgirls, I think. Was it them? Anyway, we got to see how grueling it was.
Paula on 22 May 2009 at 2:22 pm #
people who know me would be surprised to learn that I’m shy in large groups and with people that I don’t know .
I am another TMI sometimes, sometimes I can keep quiet but other times I can’t!
nancyg on 22 May 2009 at 2:36 pm #
Yes, madeline, I think there was a show about the cheerleaders…can’t recall the name (Making the Grade?). I never watched it. I heard too many horror stories from my friends, lol.
I remember once, a group of about 4-5 of them came over to our house to lay out by the pool during one of our parties. (The Cowboys were away). They couldn’t go & hang out, drink, etc. in public. My husband was excited, lol, they brought their own coolers of drinks and portable TV to watch the game. He called his brothers up north to brag he was hanging out poolside with THE cheerleaders
Michelle B on 22 May 2009 at 3:46 pm #
I was very shy and quiet in High School and College so those friends would be very surprised that I am good with a microphone in front of large and small groups. They wouldn’t believe how I can run a board meeting, network, and socialize. My friends today would be surprised by that shy person I used to be. My kids don’t believe me. My DH has been there for this transformation and says I am much more confident.
I too am a swearing driver. It surprises me sometimes. Even worse, DD#2 has picked up my habit and taken it to a new level. I fear for my 15 year old son who will get his learners permit this summer.
Judy F on 22 May 2009 at 3:49 pm #
People would be surprised that I can be very sarcastic. Its a gift. LOL
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 3:50 pm #
Michelle B, my driving swearing suprises me sometimes too. Who is that crazy woman giving other drivers what for? Once I groused at a truck on the highway and my window was open and his was too and his buddy looked down at me really mean and he was a lot bigger than me—-so I have learned to keep my windows closed.
Jamie on 22 May 2009 at 4:18 pm #
People who don’t know me think I am into country music. Actually, I like punk and hard rock. People think I am sweet. I can be nice, but I have a very snarky sense of humor. I have been told by people who think I am sugary sweet tell me – you are NOT sweet! I reply and you thought I was? I never said I was sweet. Nice and sweet are two different things.
I like what my friend said about me once. You are the toughest girly girl I know. You act tough, but like girly girl things. I LOVE pink – you can’t have enough pink. But, I do have a tough side. I think that is partly from being from Pennsylvania. I noticed that us northerners are a tough lot.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 22 May 2009 at 7:22 pm #
thanks for all the kind words. I had a bit of a cathartic cry over it as well today. But in the long run it felt good to tell iit.
Karen W. on 22 May 2009 at 9:25 pm #
I think I’m an “over sharer” too because I don’t think I have any secrets! I guess I’m a bit too trusting in that sometimes.
Maybe that I’m softer than some people realize since I’m usually pretty strong and the take charge, independent type.
Madeline Hunter on 22 May 2009 at 9:49 pm #
Judy and jamie, a little snark can spice up life. A pink does not mean soft, or if it does I got really soft later in life when I fell in love with pink belatedly.
Karen W, you seem to have a lot of company with that inner softie. There is a pattern here, of the inner us that would surprise people who make assumptions because of the outer us.
kathy, we are honored that you felt safe enough here to share that with us. I am so glad that it felt good to let it out. {{{hugs}}}
Sweet Jane on 23 May 2009 at 7:14 am #
People who know me might be surprised to learn that I read romance, yeah. But then again that’s a detail; nobody could get amazed at the fact.
People who knew me as a child/teenager would be surprised to learn that I have a very exciting and satisfying life, and many cool and very dear friends. People who know me now would be surprised to learn that I’ve always been shy and was utterly unpopular at school, had no real friends and was ill-used by many whom I had the bad luck to try and befriend! None of these facts are things I hide, it’s just that I don’t necessarily happen to talk about it, and the few times I did, people were surprised indeed.
People also seem to be surprised to learn that my dream job is housewife (and writing as a hobby). I’m quite the ambitious, loud-mouthed type and have always done well in my studies, so they usually figure I wanna go for some high-profile career… Well, no. I honestly don’t feel I have it in my guts to stand the pressure and the strain, nor would I ever wish to sacrifice my future children to anything professional.