Time for the old lady shoes
Feb 26th 2009
Rachel GibsonOn Writing!
I don’t really think about my age much. I like who I am and where I’m in life. I got here by all the experiences I’ve had, and I have no regrets. Oh, if I could go back, I might alter the amount of time I spent in previous relationships, but I wouldn’t change anything.
A few weeks ago, a friend from out of town came to see me and we met for lunch at a local restaurant. The first order of business was conquering the huge cocktail list. The waiter asked us what we’d like to drink, but he looked about fifteen and I blurted, “Are you old enough to take our drink order?” He got rather offended and assured me that he was over 21. I felt so bad that I’d offended him, I left him a big fat tip. But, after that day, I’ve started to notice something strange. I’ve started to notice age.
When did cops all become younger than me? I see them in their patrol cars, and they look like kids. Have you been to an emergency room lately? When did all the doctors start looking like they’re just out of high school? Fireman too. Didn’t they all used to remind me of my dad? And to add the final insult to injury, I’ve had to wear heels the past few days and my feet are killing me. I used to wear stilettos all the time. Heck, I’ve run in stilettos. Now suddenly I’m limping after a few hours in two inch heels.
Did the world suddenly get younger and I didn’t notice? Or is there some age threshold, and once you pass it, you’re suddenly older?
76 Comments »
76 Responses to “Time for the old lady shoes”
Yaya on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:50 am #
Hey There, I am one of those people that looks younger than they are. I work as receptionist for a hotel and people often think I am not old enough to work there. We have a 21 and older policy and I have had some younger guys ( not even 18) try to get a rm and get smart on me because on how old i look.
evlqn on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:56 am #
Rachel I don’t even OWN a pair of heels anymore, that way I won’t be tempted to do something stupid – like wear them. I , too could run in heels back in the day. I even jumped a hurtle just to prove I could. My favorite heels were a pair of 4 1/2″ platforms with wrap around straps. I danced all night in those shoes.
And yes, the baby brigade has taken over. i noticed it as far back as my youngest son’s birth at UCLA. The doctor who admitted me looked so young I asked if he was a beginner doctor because I wanted one who had actually delivered babies before. Fortunately my doctor arrived in time to help my little guy into the world.
I don’t exactly know when I passed the threshold because I remember thinking my aunts and uncles were ancient at 35 and here I am galloping to 60 and I know I’m not old. However I do invoke the “Blue-haired Dragon Discount” at all stores that still give them.
Ayse on 26 Feb 2009 at 2:40 am #
I noticed I was getting old when I stopped watching music videos because they’re full of babies pretending to be sexy
Ayse on 26 Feb 2009 at 2:43 am #
I also look younger than I am so I get hit on by 18 year olds sometimes (I’m 28)… they get annoyed that I call em kid.
I like younger guys but 18 has become too young for me
Zita Hildebrandt on 26 Feb 2009 at 4:47 am #
Don’t worry, Rachel. The world really did get younger. I noticed it myself, and I’m certain we can’t both be wrong…
Judy F on 26 Feb 2009 at 4:48 am #
Been there Rachel. There is a cop in my local town that looks all of 12. Recently my mom had to be taken to the ER and I kept thinking her Nurse had to be a H.S. Volunteer she look so much like a kid.
I haven’t worn heels in years, my feet ache any time I would. I used to wear them all the time to go dancing. Now its pretty much flats.
Recently at my great niece bday party at Chuck E Cheese her mom whipped out a credit card to pay for it. My first thought was is she old enough for one of them. Yup she is 24. When did this all happen.
Bronte on 26 Feb 2009 at 5:02 am #
This is a bit of a sore topic with me. I know I should be flattered rather than offended when people think I’m younger than I am, but when my professional judgement is questioned because of my age rather than what comes out of mouth i do feel a little cranky. I also seem to have the same problem as Ayse does with the men. Ironically I think women are way more age judgmental than men.
MizMacgyver on 26 Feb 2009 at 5:38 am #
The world got younger for sure. I had to give up heels a long time ago and it just about broke my heart. I still look at them but I know there is no point in buying them, I would be laid up for a week if I tried.
Karen Rose on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:30 am #
Ah, you babies that look younger than you are. Suck it up and stop complaining. I mean, really. Geez.
I’ve always looked ten years older than I am. Once someone (some STUPID someone) took me for DH’s mother. This is insulting on so many levels … At about 35 my face finally caught up to my age, so now all is well.
Rachel, I’ve done the same thing with a waiter that looks too young to serve my martini. Oldest daughter was with me and was scandalized. I also left a large tip to compensate.
Yes, the world got older and it has absolutely nothing to do with us. It is caused by evil magic. Rips in the space/time continuum. Aliens are to blame, is my best guess. Or the government
PS – I’ve never been able to wear stilettos. It’s a regret of mine.
Karen Rose on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:34 am #
OK, that suck it up comment was made before I had my coffee. Had I waited, I would have said the same thing, but more nicely. Still, I don’t want to hear about you youngsters who get mistaken for teenagers.
Ack.
I have a friend – my freaking age, actually she is 3 months OLDER than me – who still gets carded. It is obnoxious. Once a STUPID person thought I was her mother too.
You know, I think this just might be a sore spot for me. Y’think?
Lisa H on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:40 am #
Ugh, I know what you’re saying Rachel! I not only see everyone else looking younger and more pulled together, I feel it when I sit on the floor to play with my baby and can’t seem to get back up. Once on my feet, the aches and pains and bones cracking begin.
I say I will never succomb to grey hair, and old lady shoes. I’ll be blonde until they stuff me in the casket and I hope I’m wearing heels the day I go. I try to fight the aging with a stick and Estee Lauder, but sometimes its just plain depressing to look into the mirror.
I think I crossed the age threshhold at 40.
Ayse on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:42 am #
lol Karen
I have the opposite problem. My bf is a year younger than me and once somebody thought he was my dad eww… that was the only time looking younger bugged me.
Telling peoples ages is getting harder. I don’t think I just look younger, a lot of young people now seem to look older.
The new annoying thing people do now that I’m older is they automatically say your husband or your wife when I travel with my boyfriend… grrr
Cail on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:52 am #
i was recently in a college town with my DH. Typically, I get carded. This WHOLE night, I did NOT get carded. I was so offended. I ranted at my DH for a good 10 min after the 3rd bar didn’t card me.
Funny story. Back when I was 21 or 22 or so, I was on a horse riding trip in europe with my mom. there were three 11 yr old girls from CA and a 14 yr old boy from London. Those three 11 yr olds were so mean to me and I couldn’t figure out why. Finally, towards the end they realized that I was in college and suddenly i was so cool. they explained to me that they thought i was 13 and that they liked the 14 yr old, who they thought liked me. Talk about TOO YOUNG!!
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:15 am #
Sheesh, Rachel. I’m sure glad you didn’t come up with this topic back in Nov. when I turned the big 7-0. I was one of those looks younger than she is types. I got carded till I was nearly 30. I may still look younger as a sprout was arguing with me a couple of weeks back that I couldn’t possibly be 70. She thought I was her mom’s age of 50. I always thank good genetics and Clairol.
All my shoes are flat. I remember heels. I wore them. Higher was better. Now, I would tip over and fall on my face to the ground. Where I would be unable to get up w/o calling 911.
Which reminds me. I recently got Lisa Kleypas’s “Wallflower Christmas”. It’s a HB. So,it has a dust jacket. Lisa’s picture is on the folderover at the back. Wow. Little black dress and hooker shoes. My first thought on seeing those nifty shoes was how much her feet must have hurt before the session was over. But the woman does look good.
And, yes, the world is now populated with Doogie Howsers in all professions. You get used to it. I guess.
Michelle on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:25 am #
Sorry, can’t help you out here. I have enough worries of my own.
I’m trying to figure out when the Grand Canyon’s evil cousin took up residence between my eybrows.
LoriHandeland on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:36 am #
I like K-Ro’s idea that the world getting younger is evil magic and has nothing to do with us. I can work with that!
I was never good with high heels. Eight years of waitressing and a bad back. Instead I’ve started buying beautiful sandals–either flats or a very small heel. I wear them with everything, as soon as it’s warm enough. And around here, warm is considered high 50s. The boxes of shoes in my closet has gotten unruly, but they’re SO fun!
PJ on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:44 am #
Karen R, you crack me up!
When I was 14 people thought I was 18. When I was in high school people thought I was in college. I had absolutely no problem with that. Somewhere in my late 20’s my age caught up with me and suddenly I was viewed as “a baby” by the retired customers of the bank where I was Asst. Manager and, of course, a baby couldn’t possibly be experienced enough to handle their financial affairs. Of course, being a female back in those days didn’t help much either. That I had a problem with but I’m happy to say I eventually won them all over.
When I was about 38 someone guessed my age to be 50. Not a pleasant memory, I assure you. Now the trend has seemed to reverse itself again. A woman standing at a sink next to me in a public restroom yesterday was complaining about looking and feeling old. I smiled and told her she didn’t look “old”. (She looked about 65 to me, which I don’t think of as old. Old is 80. Amazing how our perspective changes as we age. lol!) She said, “I’m 52. You’ll understand when you reach my age.” No way was I going to completely ruin her day by telling her I’ll be 58 this year!
PJ on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:45 am #
LMAO @ Michelle!
Ann M. on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:47 am #
We are not getting older….the world is getting younger.
I don’t feel my age
Best compliment is I’ve been told that I don’t look old enough to have children in college. 
amy1242 on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:50 am #
I used to wear heels every day for work. Right around the baby birthing stage of my life, I had to give them up. Now, like Lori H, I love to wear my sandals, but with another snow storm on the way, they’re going to have to wait a while yet. AND, I will need a pedi before they make their first appearance from my closet. We have Wicked tickets for tonight and I’m stressing over shoes….comfy or dressy? Did I mention the snow storm?
And Rachel, you’re right. The world is getting younger. I still “feel” young, but I wonder how I look to the youngsters out there. Better not to think about it.
Freshechelle on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:52 am #
Karen is right, it’s aliens & that space time continuum thingy. At baseball games, they post the birthday of the players on the score board. Next batter I see who was born the year I graduated high school is toast if I get my hands on him. How dare these people make me feel old. I’m still waiting for my adulthood to start.
Rachel, let’s see if Zappos sells orthopedic shoes and we’ll buy a sensible cardigan to wear to the beach (because, you know, it’s windy) and start a bitchfest about “these kids today” (the wrinkle-free, ache-free, rats).
Seriously, don’t fight it. The stress will give you wrinkles.
Ayse on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:55 am #
I’ve always wanted to be able to wear heals, but even when I was younger they hurt too much. I still wear sneakers… even with a suit
ladydawgfan on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:02 am #
I’m also one of those who is constantly told that I look at least 10 years younger than I am (thanks to a great moisturizing regimen and fab genes). I’m not offended. I actually don’t feel like my actual age, and besides, I think age is a just another number to be ignored. I don’t intend to age gracefully, you see. I intend to go kicking and screaming!!!
LoriHandeland on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:07 am #
Amy–another secret shoe weapon–fancy, low heeled boots, long skirts and long underwear beneath. Works every time.
Fresh-ZAPPOS!!!! I love ZAPPOS! Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout. But I have shoe issues and Zappos is one of the reasons. Anyone who hasn’t been there, go immediately to-
zappos.com
ladydawgfan on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:08 am #
BTW, I have never been able to wear high heels. I tried a pair when I was in high school. They absolutely KILLED my feet, I had to wait about an hour before my feet “unfolded” from the unnatural shape that they were in, and the Machiavellian torture devices were promptly passed off to a girl friend who had expressed interest in them. I haven’t worn heels above 1.5 – 2″ since and even those cause pain sometime (damned fallen arches!).
Karen Rose on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:12 am #
I am among friends!
I always wear sandals – it is FL. I have these really ugly comfortable sandals that I live in now, and some ridiculously high heeled wedged sandals I only wear when I know I’m not going to walk. And when the water retention in my feet has ebbed low enough for my feet to fit in them. Sigh.
My husband is 6 weeks older than me but has always had a baby face. That’s why I make him wear a goatee. It makes him look more responsible and, truthfully, older. Last summer when he was off school, he shaved it, shocking me and our two daughters. We all let him know in NO uncertain terms that the beard had to come back. I think the daughters were freaked at how young he looked. I was annoyed. I will not ever be mistaken for his mother again. (Do you hear me, you woman who rang us up at the cash register of a Cincinnati drugstore 23 years ago? I hold a very long grudge.)
Evil magic can be used to explain away a great many things I don’t like.
elsiehogarth on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:13 am #
I wear a different pair of heels, every night, so I don’t loose my touch and my feet and calfs aren’t killing me after a few hours. Try wearing a pair of flip flops on night, 2 in. shoes the next, a pair of pumps another night until you work your way to 3 in. or 4 in. heels etc. It really works out well and you’ll be prepared for when you have to wear your heels.
The civil servants are getting younger. My oldest godson Stephen is 29 yrs. old and has been an NYPD officer, in Harlem, for the last 4 yrs. He graduated, from Hunter College, with a degree, in geology, saw a poster for the NYPD and signed up and he enjoys his job. He’s going for his Sergeant’s exam. I’ll never forget his first day on his beat, a hot day in June, and he had to sit with a 3-day old dead body, for 3 hours, until the ME showed up. I haven’t stopped praying for him since then.
Freshechelle on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:15 am #
Lori, I must confess I’ve never purchased but i havel browsed Zappos. I’m fortunate enough to get a shoe allowance as part of my compensation and I usually select heels. Therefore, I have a closet of gently worn heels and overused flats. This week’s purchase was 9 cm heels, that’s as high as I can go for standing at a party for 2 hours.
Sabrina Jeffries on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:19 am #
I can’t tell age at all. I realized I was old a few years ago when one of the baristas at the coffeehouse and I were talking about her dad (a nice older gent who came into the coffeehouse all the time–or that’s how I thought of him) and it turned out he was my age. I was old enough to be her mother!! It really threw me. I started realizing that all these young baristas, whom I thought of as slightly younger than me could actually be my children (I had my son at 30, so I wasn’t thinking in those terms). It was quite a shock.
And KarenR, will you kill me if I tell you I got carded TWICE at 40?
As Margaret says, good genes. Of course, now that I’m losing weight, the wrinkles are going to start showing, and I don’t think anybody’s going to make THAT mistake.
Louisa Cornell on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:28 am #
I am convinced there is a fountain of youth somewhere and the entire world refused to tell me where it is! I wore 3.5 inch heels EVERYWHERE for years while I was singing. My current job necessitates I wear tennis shoes and thus I have to train if I want to wear heels again. However, my lust for cute shoes with death-defying heels has not waned. I just save them for RWA National Conference.
Of course we aren’t even going to TALK about all of the flesh additions to my body that have to be spanxed, strapped and tied into submission to get me into an evening gown. I don’t need all this room/cushioning dammit. I’m trying to downsize!
I think they are recruiting doctors, EMTs, firemen and policemen out of elementary school. They’re skipping high school completely. And I really, really HATE some cop who looks my nephew’s age calling me Ma’am as he gives me my speeding ticket. “Ma’am, you need to be more careful. You’re old enough to know better than to drive 90 in a 55.”
“Shut up, kid. Give me that ticket before I smack you. Does your mother know you’re out here stopping little old ladies in a hurry?”
Pesky on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:32 am #
Yeah…I think it’s around 41. That’s when I started noticing what I refer to as “kiddie porn” up on the walls of a certain teen retail store that is laughingly called “advertising” and grumbling about the fact I knew far too much about that young mans personal grooming habits.
Soon after I realized that the movies I was watching featured heartthrobs that were born after I graduated high school. (Yep…Edward and Bella great in the abstract, just don’t think too closely about the fact He and my nephews are contemporaries. Bet his room needs the Febreeze treatment when his aunt comes to visit as well. My nephews are both neat but the hockey bag smell from two teens on the ice every night…whoa.)
However, I too still get carded Sabrina. And since I’ve lost 80lbs I STILL get carded, soooo…hope springs infernal.
I will NEVER wear old lady shoes though. I refuse. I have a pair of pink keds I wear when out and about…only difference from when I was young is I put arch support in them now.
JudyPatooty on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:33 am #
Youse guys are so funny!
LOL!
The first time I ever got “ma’am”ed by a snot-nosed little clerk was the first time I really felt old. I was in my thirties at the time!!! Aaaargh!
Oh, and when I stopped coloring my hair quite a few years ago and went completely gray. That’ll do it. I turned 50 this past December and have a head full of gray hair and now EVERYONE looks younger than me. Even my older sister … who still colors her hair. That hussy.
Rachel Gibson on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:41 am #
Love Zappos. I bought several pairs of UGG boots from Zappos this winter. UGGs are like slippers but you can wear them in public.
I’m with Karen Rose. All you people who are still getting carded–zip it. I always looked young for my age too. And yeah, it can be annoying, but around the age of 30, you’ll appreciate it. There will come a day when no one asks for your ID and you’ll look around and think “hey, what’s wrong with you people? Can’t you see I look young for my age?”
Margaret–Lisa Kleypas is not only gorgeous, she is a really sweet person. She is the kind of person who will remember your name. Unlike me. I forget a person’s name a minute after being introduced. It’s not an age thing. It’s a my-brain-is-a-sieve thing.
rachel
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:56 am #
I hear you on the name thing, Rachel. I try to pay attention so I won’t be embarrassed into asking someone to tell me his/her name again because I have the memory of a new born duckling.
It’s nice to now that about Lisa Kleypas. She looks like someone I’d like to know. Of course, the first thing I’d have to do is smack her for posing for that come-hither picture. And for wearing hooker shoes when I can’t.
Which reminds, I keep seeing people wearing boots with skirts just above the knees. Did I make a wrong turn somewhere and end up back in the 70’s?
Connie Hettler on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:57 am #
Age, whoever said it is a “frame of mind”, did not have to look into a mirror to put on mascara in the morning. =) Where did those lines between, around and under my eyes come from, I have no clue. (lol).
I had my children young, I was under 21 when I had my first, and just before my 40th birthday my daughter made me a grandmother, and she did it again just two years later. Now I love my grandchildren, do not get me wrong, they are the joy of my life – they call me NaNa (isn’t that cute). However, I still like to go out with my friends, drink, and dance until I cannot stand up, not exactly a typical grandmother. At least not my grandmother, she was a portly woman with grey hair and a laugh that tingled (in a good way) up and down your spine. My grandchildren, well they will remember me as the belly dancing (yes, I wear a very skimpy costume), yoga, Pilates, and dancing until dawn grandmaw. What a picture that will paint =P (lol). It is obvious I will not grow old gracefully; I plan to kick its ass all the way to the grave.
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 8:59 am #
JudyPatooty, I’ll stop coloring my hair when they pry the bottle from my cold, stiff hand. I have no desire to see what I look like with gray hair.
On the maturing front, my motto has always been “Get rid of all the @%%$ mirrors!”
Julia London on 26 Feb 2009 at 9:29 am #
I went to a high school reunion recently and kept thinking ohmiGOD — look what happened to these people!
What’s really annoying is when kids in the family speak to me like I used to speak to my parents — impatiently, like they are explaining the simplest thing in the world to a geezer.
Kay on 26 Feb 2009 at 9:48 am #
This is so funny. I love hearing everyone’s stories.
Here’s mine:
MY DH is 5 years older than I am, and was starting to go gray in his early thirties.
About 15 years ago, DH and I were on vacation. We went to a University planetarium (yes, I know we’re boring). There was a sign that students and faculty get in free. He is a part-time professor at the U of MN. I was taking a few classes at the U of MN, so we both pulled out our ID’s. The very young woman at the door gave him the DIRTIEST look. I guess she didn’t look at the names on the IDs, because we were already married at the time. It was soooooo funny.
dbrown3400 - Donna on 26 Feb 2009 at 9:53 am #
The age for buying beer in OK in the ’60s was 18. I got away with buying Coors for the “guys” when I was 16. I never got carded until I was 26. Sort of a reverse progression like Karen R. Now people tell me the old story I look younger than 62, but I look in the mirror and see lines and creases that defy their statements. The secret is in feeling and acting young. When she was in her seventies my favorite aunt once told me, “The secret to aging is to always think you’re 23.”
I’m blessed with good genes and a silver blond hair color that many women dye their hair to achieve, so I’m lucky. I only wear flats now, although I used to wear stilettos even when I taught. Ouch!
LisaK on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:02 am #
My oh my, you guys crack me up (especially Ka-Ro)!
Hm, come to think of it, I can’t say anything about people in general looking younger than they are. There might be some very wide-spread individuals out there that are older than they’re appearing, but that’s it.
However, some thing I’ve observed over the last two years or so is that most of the teenage girls (not the boys – boys aged 14 look like boys aged 14!) look like they were at least 18. Really. All that makeup and hairstyle and clothing makes them look very mature – at least until they open their mouths and speak to you. I find that far more spooky.
Connie Hettler on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:11 am #
LisaK,
I agree coming from the mother of a 15 year boy and a 23 year daughter (Lord help me) physical maturity is all they have going for them, for that reason I refuse to go to a mall once school is out for the day. *shivers*
Rachel Gibson on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:14 am #
Mr. G has always looked older than he is. I think because he could grow a mustache at 12. I’ve always looked younger and people think there’s a ten year age difference between us. Actually, he is only three months older than me. He says he’s never minded that people think he’s a cradle robber because it makes them wonder what he’s doing to keep his young wife happy.
Rachel Gibson on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:17 am #
I have a niece who is six and dresses “sexy” like Miley Cyrus. She got her first bra last year. I didn’t even know they made bras for five year olds. I am so completely grossed out and appalled by that. Her mother thinks it’s cute.
Connie Hettler on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:18 am #
Rachel Gibson,
That is just wrong =) “Women think about sex, men just think about a place to do it” (lol)
Freshechelle on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:41 am #
rachel, ew on that niece story. The squinty face of repulsion it triggered is going to give me wrinkles.
Vicki on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:46 am #
For the most part age never bothers me. I know I”m older than my boss at the day job, yet she acts older than me. That’s not to say I act like a kid, but I don’t act like a 51 year old either. Or maybe I do. In my mind 50 year olds are the old people my parents were when I was younger. Today, that’s not the case, we’re much younger in mind, body, and spirit. But once in a while my body decides it’s older and wants that break. That’s when I know I’m not in my early twenties anymore.
Freedom Writer on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:56 am #
My age doesn’t really bother me. When I was younger I looked older and could get away with a thing or two I probably shouldn’t have and not that I’m older I apparently look younger. I am nearing the 50 mark even though it is a couple years down the road yet, and people constantly mistake me for someone young enough to be the mother of my 3 year old granddaughter. My real “baby” will be 16 this spring.
Of course, I started having kids when I was only 11 or 12. No really. Okay you can all stop laughing now. Now that’s just ridiculous, get up off that floor!
Freedom Writer on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:59 am #
Oh yes, and as for shoes, I haven’t wore high heels since I was in high school and 3″ platforms were all the rage. I could see over everyone’s heads since I am 5′10″. Sandals are my pick during warmer weather and something warmer and water resistant, but comfortable for winter.
Suzanne Enoch on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:03 am #
I drove by my old high school the other day, and I kept thinking “when did they start letting 10-year-olds go to high school?” They looked like babies!
And then there’s that noise I make in the mornings now sometimes when I get out of bed. That groaning, my-muscles-are-stiff noise. I HATE that noise. *g*
Rachel Gibson on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:05 am #
I had to stop turning 30 when my oldest daughter turned 25. That was a few b-days ago. The hardest b-day for me was 38. For some reason, I thought I turning 37. I aged 2 years in one day.
rachelg
Claudia Dain on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:06 am #
I’ve recently had to shift the foundation of my world on the shoe issue. I’m still in deep mourning with bursts of angry denial. I’ve been wearing 2 to 4 inch high heels since I was 12. I wore them as a student and then I wore them as a high school teacher. I have worn them to the RWA conference, skipping through the lobby. In the last few months, my feet have…changed. Let’s not say ‘aged’, okay? Too traumatic.
Worse, the Great Foot Rebellion has impacted my flat shoe selection. Flip flops? Sandals? Not enough support.
I just said the word SUPPORT.
I want to die.
Sweet Jane on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:11 am #
Hahaha. I wouldn’t know; I’m bad at telling ages and it seems hard for other people to tell mine as well… People used to think I was about 21 or even 23 when I was 17, then I got carded a few months ago in Poland. I gather I’m one of these people who don’t change much, and if I’m lucky like my mom, it may last till I’m well over 40.
I do recall feeling the world was getting younger when I was at school. Like, do you remember how those 10-year-old kids were the oldest in the school when you were 6, and how they looked so big? Then when you turned 14 you couldn’t believe that the new kids entering high school were really 11; they seemed to make them smaller with every year passing, and you could swear *you* never were that small at that age…
About age threshold: I did feel I had reached one when suddenly all my boyfriends were older than the movie stars I used to fantasize over as a teenage girl. Back then it would have nearly been pedophilia, esp. as I was so far removed from everything romantic and sexual until I was about 16. A 5-year gap is much more significant when you’re 15 than when you’re 20, eh.
Julia London on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:12 am #
I have the same shoe issues. Rachel, I can remember running down a subway platform and leaping through the air — maybe even pirouetting — to get on a train before the doors closed in 2.5 inch heels. They were like tennis shoes. I get cramps in my feet if I wear them more than an hour.
Claudia, I have been buying Cole Hahn sandals. They are stylish and they have the nike air technology — support! But because it says Nike air technology and not Easy Spirit air technology, I can live with it.
As for grandmas…When we ended up with the Cutest Baby Ever, I went looking for support groups for grandparents in our situation. There weren’t many, but every single one of them had the cliche grandma with the bun and the glasses on a chain. I couldn’t even look at them, much less contact them.
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:57 am #
Donna, you aunt was right on. I’m not sure what 70 should act like. I did stop hanging with people my age because they did act that way. I don’t think of my age too often. It’s fun hanging with the younger folk. My 32-yr old DIL and I are boon companions. We understand each other totally.
OK This one is complicated. My late DH’s XDW’s current DH (got it?) is 75 but acts like 100 most of the time. Pissing and moaning about everything. Hard to have a conversation with. But Grandma Grace is a hoot and we get along just fine. In fact, we are roomies on the annual family vacation. She is 74 and the mother of my 5 step-kids.
I’ve seen old people in their 20’s and young people in their 80’s. It’s all in your attitude about it all. Aging can be funny and sure beats the alternative to pieces.
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:58 am #
Claudia! You are a writer, girl. You can come with another word besides aging. For instance, your feet have “matured”. I would say “ripened” but that could mean you need Odor Eaters.
LauraR on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:59 am #
I work on campus at the local state university. The students never age so when I look in the mirror it’s always a shock to see how I’ve changed. As for heels– I haven’t been able to wear heels comfortably for such a long time I can’t remember when I last had a pair on.
Janae on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:03 pm #
Rachel – My dd is 5 yo. I’d NEVER let her dress that way. Ever. That’s not cute. It’s asking for trouble.
I think age is a state of mind. I’ve a 27 yo sister who acts like she’s an old woman. It makes her seem older than that. I know women in their 80s, who seem much younger. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything about my appearance. I’m fighting it – sunscreen, creams, etc. It’s paying off because I look younger than my 34 yo sister, starting to look younger than my 31 yo sister, and I don’t look like I’m 8 years older than my 27 yo sister.
Oh, I just remember age is also remembering that what looked good in high school, doesn’t look good when you’re in your 30s. I’ve a sil whose 38, hasn’t changed her hair or make up in over 20 years. She looks so much older than 38. She’s lucky that my brother, who has a baby face, wears a goatee because he looks 10 years younger than her without one. It’s gotten to the point where her mom is telling her that she needs to get a new look.
Madeline Hunter on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:22 pm #
Oh, boy, can I relate to this topic.
Forget any high heels. Long gone.
I really got wind of the years passing when about 8 years ago I learned that the entire dating ritual had changed from “the olden days.” Really, guys, it doesn’t work like it did when I was younger. IMO, it has gotten very odd out there in male/female young people type relationships starting.
I am way behind on popular culture news too. I try to keep up, so I won’t always say, “who the heck is that” when I see stuff online, but normally I have to google to find out why so much cyberspace is being taken up with this or that celebrity. I blame this on being a writer-hermit, but really it is just, well, old lady shoes happening.
I am waiting for my students to start calling me by some nickname that starts with “Old Lady”. The only upside will be that if they see me as a grandmother type, they will cut me more slack. I have noticed that the teachers who really do wear those shoes are treated rather lovingly and their eccentricities are excused. Of course, instead of Old Lady the nickname may start with “Old Battle Ax” which would be less to my liking.
Claudia Dain on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:27 pm #
Margaret, how about ‘metamorphosized’? There’s a slight implication of caterpillar to butterfly that may be workable.
ladydawgfan on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:33 pm #
I really got wind of the years passing when about 8 years ago I learned that the entire dating ritual had changed from “the olden days.” Really, guys, it doesn’t work like it did when I was younger.
It’s changed??? Really?? CRAP!!! I was never really part of the OLD dating ritual during the “olden days,” and now I have to learn a NEW ritual????
I am sooooo screwed to the wall!!!
ladydawgfan on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:36 pm #
Claudia, I read “metamorposized” and immediately got a mental photo of cavemen and their hairy feet! You might want to try another word. Just sayin’ . . .
Kathy/Cookiedough on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:38 pm #
I never wore high heels..well once I tried on my flight attendant sister’s 6in heeled boots. I fell off them.
that was it for me. I was 14.
Supportive shoes that are still nice looking are the way to go!
I feel old sometimes, like when my creaky knees do not want to bend & straighten going up the stairs. As I type this, I am in my sis’s basement computer room waiting for the school aged girls to come “home”. I stayed here one more night and brought my comfort slippers with me. It means I’ll have to ascend the steps to make supper. sigh
The worst was when I was called ma’am. yuck! not by a snot nose kid, which I could have forgiven. NO, this was by some witchy woman only slightly younger than me!
LisaK on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:54 pm #
Oh my, Madeline reminded me of something else entirely.
Age is not only a state of mind, but also a state of language.
When I was a kid, certain words were cool (like “cool” itself, btw.) – there was a great anglicism boom that left elder people (like my mum) completely clueless. I thought it was cool. I thought I was cool.
And only a few days ago I realized that when the time comes that you can’t understand any longer what the teenagers around you are saying, you aren’t cool anymore.
That was when my baby sister, who will be 13 on the morrow, said something to me. It sounded suspiciously like an insult. Just that … I didn’t understand her. Seriously. I just didn’t know what she wanted.
So, carefully, I asked “What?” and she asked “What ‘what’?” and I explained that I didn’t know what she meant and then she in exchange kindly repeated what she had said and also explained what it meant.
Frowning, I asked “So do people really say that or is that just one of these weird inventions of yours?”
Whereupon she looked at me pitifully, folded her hands in front of her belly and said, heavily sighing: “Oh Lisa, EVERYONE says that! You are REALLY old!”
Mooslady on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:03 pm #
It really started for me when I went to the grocery store with my youngest, now 18 months old and everyone presumed she was the child of one of my teen daughters and I was the grandma. About the 10th time it happened, I colored my hair and that helped some but just last week I went to have one of those old fashioned photos taken of my 4 year old and 18 month old(we had won it) and my 16 year old(DD#2) was with me because she is home-schooled. The lady presumed I was the grandma and the 16 year old was mom. I was pretty mad but since I was getting something for free, I held my tongue. I mean I am sorry, I may be 42 but I haven’t hit menopause or become celibate yet, it really is my child. It also presumes that my daughter was getting pregnant at 12, like that is more normal than having a child at 41. Some people actually want and plan and have 5 children, even if they are not under 30. If you knew how many people even ask me, if I got pregnant with the last 2 by accident like I couldn’t have possibly done it on purpose! OK, I am done with my rant. Thank you for listening:)
Rachel Gibson on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:20 pm #
I never assume someone is the grandmother. And I would certainly never ask. Just like I would never ask someone if she’s pregnant. I don ‘t care if she’s crowning and screaming “get it out.” I’m not asking when the babies due.
Freshechelle on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:27 pm #
Rachel, you’ve slayed me again.
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:31 pm #
‘metamorphosized’? Hmm Not bad. I don’t where ladydawgfan got the cave man image. LOL
Just so you all can retain your cool hipness, I came across this site today about a scholarship contest run by the Duct tape folks. Kids are invited to make their prom outfits from Duct tape. You can read about how much the winners and their school gets at the beginning. The first winners had some spiffy outfits. But I just want you all to take a gander at the fantastic shoes Susan Dranko is wearing in the last picture. Ouch. Yet she’s smiling. That’s because she’s 17 or so and doesn’t know her feet should be killing her.
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/23069
Margaret on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:34 pm #
Definitely a good idea, Rachel. Which reminded me of something I hate. Having someone ask me to guess their age. I don’t think so! Nowadays, I flat out refuse. When I was young and thought I had to do whatever was asked, 23-yr old me guessed a 35 yr-old woman to be 45. She was definitely unhappy with my guess. Served her right!
Judy F on 26 Feb 2009 at 3:26 pm #
I used to get carded all the time when I was younger, the last time was when I was 30. I was like YES… LOL doesn’t happen anymore.
One good thing is all the people in my family look a lot younger then what their ages are. I will be 49 next week and we have a new person in our office. We were talking about ages/bdays and I told her how old I was. SHe was like you have got to be kidding. WOuld I say I was that old if I wasn’t???
I can still remember my first ma’am….I know I did the head turn to see who the clerk was talking to.
Bronte on 26 Feb 2009 at 3:32 pm #
I think maybe people need to be a little less ageist in general. I noticed I pretty well much got to shut up and stop complaining because I look young. Yes I know I will look old fast enough. And I don’t want too. However what I dislike is people assessing my competance professionally based upon my age. I’m a vet, and the thing that I dislike most is after I’ve just finished explaining something to a client I’ll ask if they have any questions. Occasionally I get “How old are you?”, sorry but thats plain rude.
Lisa on 26 Feb 2009 at 3:36 pm #
I think the first time I noticed how much older I was, when the clerk at the market called me ma’am. But I really started to notice it in my 40’s when the policemen seemed like kids and some of the doctor’s too. Fortunately, I don’t have any “young” doctors. They are all about my age or older. As far as shoes go, I mainly wear sandals but I live in the OC Ca. where I can get away with it. Last spring I went to Holland where the weather was cold. I had bought a new pair of walking shoes but they were killing me after two days so I pulled out my trusty sandals and walked everyday in them, even when it was freezing! I was asked many times if my feet were cold, but really they were OK. In a few days it started to get warmer so I didn’t look so weird.
Karen Rose on 26 Feb 2009 at 5:02 pm #
I went to the eye doctor at about 41 or so. I was upset – he had prescribed the wrong lenses! When I looked from my computer to a book, I couldn’t focus. He shook his head, rather condescendingly, and said, “Well, you are 40 now, you know.”
Little snit. I do like him, he’s a nice guy. Still… little snit.
BTW, the next book I wrote, an eye doctor did not come out on the right side of an altercation with my villain. Just sayin’.
But to Sabrina, never would I kill you! I love you! You pay homage to TAB and we are twins. Just never tell me about getting carded again. That was your one free pass. Being twins and TAB homage will only carry you so far.
Claudia – could your feet have evolved? That indicates a transition to something better.
nancyg on 26 Feb 2009 at 5:52 pm #
Have I told you ladies yet how much I *love, love, love…truly ADORE” you goddesses? ALL of you totally make my day! I come to the blog now several times a day for a quick chuckle, then I’m able to go about my business.
Today’s topic hit a particular note with me as I just came back from the salon to get my “natural” hair color back. Actually, between you & me, it’s NOT the color I was born with, my stylist told me that it’s “too dark” for me now… I’m genetically prematurely gray…found my 1st (2nd…10th) at age 23.
I did get carded for a bottle of wine last week – I’ll be the big 4-0 in December. But that never happens when my kids are with me!!
Shoes? I’m 5′3″, so I’ve been wearing heels since birth. Since I’ve morphed into a stay-at-home/wife/maid/laundress/chauffeur/husband’s personal assistant 6 years ago, I’ve taken to wearing sneakers and flip flops *LOVE my FIT-FLOPS*!! I wore a “to DIE for” pair of 4″ heels I HAD to have for a family wedding (cost? practicality? Who thinks that in the middle of an endorphin-induced ecstasy in Nordstrom’s women’s shoe dept.?). They lasted until the 2nd dance, then were parked under the table next to my purse.
Santa on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:06 pm #
I can so relate to this blog. Shoes have never been an issue with me. I’ve never been good with heels. I always feel like I’m going to pitch forward. Weird? Yes, but what are you can you do about it. Conversely, my mother still wears deadly heels. Her closet is full of them. There’s not a flat in the bunch and she’s 81.
My age screams out to me when it comes to jeans. I mean PALEESE! I am an adult. I don’t need low cut jeans. I want to be covered on all bases. One of my cashiers was packing out the sodas and her pants looked like they were at half mast. Sister, I said, hike up your pants. They barely moved a centimeter! I was SHOCKED when she showed me just how low they went. I mean the poor girl is going to catch cold, for pity’s sake!
Ah, anyway. Thanks for letting me rant. I’m off to continue my quest for full frontal jeans. Wish me luck.
Judy F on 26 Feb 2009 at 6:50 pm #
Karen RO I had a similar conversation with my eye doc when I turned 40. I was complaining about just now having a hard time with small print. He says you have been compensating for it most likely. Now you can’t. Sadly I do have the old bifocals now. sniff
Michelle B on 26 Feb 2009 at 7:51 pm #
In college I wore high heeled platformed strappy sandals. Even broke down stages when I was in Jazz Lab Band, carrying heavy stuff with those sandals and a formal gown. That was 30 years ago. No way today. I was already down sizing heels for a number of years when I broke my foot. Split the bone right below the big toe. It still hurts if my feet get cold. Doctor told me no more pretty shoes or cheap shoes. Although they aren’t the prettiest, I love my Berkenstock sandals.
My work uniform has me in black slacks, a polo shirt, and black and silver Nike running shoes. So my “evolved” feet at least are in comfort while I am on them all day. When we have to dress up at work, I switch to my black Dansko’s which are very comfortable as well.
Yes, the world is aging. I notice it in our military members. When did they start taking 14 year olds?! These kids were born after I was married and had kids of my own. I’m old enough to be their mother and they look at me like they would like to help me across the street!
I’m with Margaret, don’t pry that hair color bottle away from my hair stylist’s hands.