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The Top Ten Troubles With V-Day

Feb 7th 2009Rachel Gibson
Rachel GibsonOn Writing!

This afternoon I was avoiding work by digging through old files. I found old reviews of my very first book and old newspaper interviews. I also found “The Top Ten Troubles With Valentine’s Day” list that I’d written for RT several years ago. Since the big V is only a week away, I thought I’d dust it off and share the list with you.

Rachel Gibson Presents:

The Top Ten Troubles With Valentine’s Day

images310. Red is a bad color . . .it clashes with your bloodshot, hangover eyes.
9. All the best restaurants are filled up, forcing you to actually cook.
8. Your married friends try setting you up with thrice-divorced losers with bad hair and no teeth under the misguided assumption that any Valentine’s Day date is better than no date.
7. Your one single friend abandons you for the thrice-divorced loser, believing any date on Valentine’s Day is better than no date.
6. Sad carnations. Nothing says “I love you” like one wilted carnation.
5. Cheap chocolate. Enough said.
0511-0712-1713-222814. Stuffed animals. You’re over the age of 12. What are you supposed to do with a stuffed kitty holding a heart pillow?
3. Singing Telegrams. No one should subject the person they love to a schmaltzy rendition of “Feelings.” That’s just inhumane.
2. Cheap/tawdry undies in a size two. You haven’t been a size two since junior high.
1. The expectation of cheap/tawdry sex after the presentation of size two undies.

What are some of your troubles with Valentine’s day? What can you add to my list?

35 Comments »

35 Responses to “The Top Ten Troubles With V-Day”

  1. evlqn on 07 Feb 2009 at 3:05 am #

    My husband was born on Valentine’s Day. We have been married for 32 years. For the past 17 years he has lived in LA and I have lived in Oregon, the marriage is working out so much better now.

  2. J Perry Stone on 07 Feb 2009 at 5:34 am #

    Sex under pressure. Nothing is less romanctic than “have to” whoopie.

  3. Freedom Writer on 07 Feb 2009 at 6:42 am #

    DH and I show our love for each other all the time so I have no use for Valentine’s Day. Most of the time it is just an excuse to buy overpriced flowers and cards destine for the trash can.

  4. Cail on 07 Feb 2009 at 6:50 am #

    usually, V-Day is just a blip on our radar, since we don’t really celebrate it. this year, it being a friday, we’re going to have a date, probably at home.

    i’d say, the trouble with valentines day is that people who are single feel worse about it than they already did.

  5. Michelle B on 07 Feb 2009 at 6:57 am #

    Valentines Day is too close to Christmas. Guys are hard enough to buy presents for. I think the guys have it easier in the gift department for V Day. Although, my DH would argue that one with me. I don’t wear much jewerlry, just my wedding band and a pair of earrings. More if I dress up which isn’t often. One year he commissioned me a wooden carved bear. It is a large Momma bear with three cubs sitting in her lap. I adore it! It has a small, painted red heart on the back to commemorate that V Day.

    My favorite flowers are carnations. (I’m a cheap date) My husband seldom buys them for me, choosing roses instead. He says he is embarrased to buy the carnations, makes him look cheap.

  6. Judy F on 07 Feb 2009 at 7:30 am #

    Friends that give me chocolate for V-Day when they know I am on a diet.

    Haven’t had the problem of an “other” for years. Maybe some day.

  7. amy1242 on 07 Feb 2009 at 7:37 am #

    Lol! You ladies make me laugh! Cail, V-Day is on Saturday…Friday is Friday the 13th, it might work out better to celebrate on Friday though. *g* We have our 11 year olds’ volleyball game on Saturday and then my dh wants to go northward with the snowmobiles, ride all day and stay overnight in our cabin by the lake. Kids and dog will be there so, not exactly romantic, but I love spending time with my family so, it works for me.
    As a couple, we don’t really ever do anything for V-Day. Other than help the kids with their classroom valentines, it’s just another day.

  8. Lisa H on 07 Feb 2009 at 7:40 am #

    This Valentine’s Day will be my 16th Anniversary. I happen to like Valentine’s Day!

  9. Cail on 07 Feb 2009 at 7:47 am #

    Amy… shows how aware I am of the dates!!! Thanks for the correction…

  10. Margaret on 07 Feb 2009 at 7:58 am #

    Valentine’s Day ranks right up there with Mother’s Day & Father’s Day as made up commercial holidays to get people to buy stuff during slump times of the sales year. DH & I never purposely celebrated VD. There was never a day in our 18 + years of marriage that we didn’t say the words “I love you.” Sometimes several times a day.

    As for Mother’s Day. I’d much rather my 42,000 kids/grandkids do stuff for me or take me out to eat thru the year than everybody waiting till the day I’d rather go to the Lancaster Red Rose Dog Show. I do go out with them. My oldest step-son owns a restaurant with delicious food. And I’m not fool enough to turn down a free meal any day. LOL I, personally, like meeting the individual offspring for a cheap lunch in July. Even more is having them do something for me that needs doing but I can’t do. I don’t mean financially, but physically.

    evlqn, thanks for my first big laugh of the day.

  11. Sarah T on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:17 am #

    Last year was our first Valentine’s Day since our wedding and we thought it would be best to have a nice meal at home. My DH set the table with a new white table cloth that was a wedding gift, one we had not used until this point. He then proceeded to open a bottle of red wine and spill it over the new white table cloth and all the food I’d just made and put on the table. We ate what we could and did out best to soak the table cloth, but it still has a rather pink look to it. We’ll probably stay in a again this year, but I’m hoping he’ll stay far away from the kitchen and table set up!

    Before we were married, he use to take me out to the NYC ballet for Valentine’s Day. It seems those days are over and to be honest I rather like eating at home:)

  12. Solveig on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:24 am #

    Ouch! Were you a bit down in the dumps when you wrote that? :Ö)

  13. LoriHandeland on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:26 am #

    Valentine’s day is a week after my husband’s birthday so we rarely celebrate it. Not that the kids are grown sometimes I forget since I haven’t been running around finding a box of Valentines for their classes that aren’t too girly, along with candy etc, etc.

    My big problem with the day is the commercialization which makes everyone feel like they “should” be doing this or that. Gifts, candy, flowers, diamonds. I’d rather receive something just because instead of for V Day. When my husband brings home roses because he saw them and thought I should have them, that’s special.

  14. Claudia Dain on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:26 am #

    11. Having a man who doesn’t wear jewelry, and doesn’t know anything about jewelry, buy you jewelry. A 10k gold filled necklace designed for a six year old girl is not real jewelry.

  15. Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:28 am #

    Sarah, LOL about the wine spilling! Sounds like something *I* would do rather than the dh.

    I guess I really don’t hate VD. We usually go to dinner, but not necessarily on the day itself. We’re weird like that. And it’s so hard to get a reservation!

    This year, however, KarenH, ClaudiaD, and I are going to dinner with our dh’s, since KarenH will be in town joining Claudia and I on a panel at our RWA chapter. It ought to be fun!

  16. Louisa Cornell on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:39 am #

    Rachel, I think your list just about covers it! LOL And a dinner out with Sabrina, Karen H and Claudia D? Should we alert the authorities?

    My reasons for disliking Valentine’s Day all have to do with work. I have to keep a display of Valentine’s cupcakes, candy and heart shaped cakes full until February 15th. Trust me, it is a GIANT pain!

  17. Meg on 07 Feb 2009 at 8:46 am #

    Not that I hate Valentine’s Day, but being a young widow around that day is no fun. My niece and nephew usually do somethng to try to keep me from feeling so down. And I always buy my mom a balloon and some chocolates. She like that.

  18. SheridanLA on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:06 am #

    I will (never again) admit it.. as a long time singleton.. it would be kinda nice to time my dating adventures around V-Day and do the dinner/flowers thing.. but then I remember the last time those planets aligned, it was annoying dealing with the crowds and overpriced dinner. I would much rather hang out at home, open a lovely bottle of wine and watch movies or something.

    I am with Margaret – spending time with people throughout the year is much more rewarding.

    That all being said, I do like mailing out cheezy little kid’s valentines to my friends – or making them and sending them out. Course, I also like doing that for all the other holidays. :D

  19. Rachel Gibson on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:17 am #

    Michelle,

    I love carnations. Just not the wilted sad ones.

    There are a lot of things I like about V-Day. I like glittery hearts and conversation heart candy. What I don’t like about it is the expectation of great romance gestures on one day. It’s too much.

    rachelg

  20. Cail on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:37 am #

    i actually would rather NOT receive flowers than receive carnations. i really dislike them.

  21. elsiehogarth on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:42 am #

    Lori, I agree with you on the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. It’s just too much. They make it so stressful. I also remember the days, with the “kids”, of finding gifts that were not so mushy, dorky or stupid and then when they got older going to the jeweler to find something nice.

    For my own personal Valentine….I’m going to see Friday the 13th. That is my gift to myself. Murder and Mayhem.

  22. Freshechelle on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:51 am #

    12. Realizing that, while not being a fan of the V-D forced hoopla, some are spending it single by choice, others have had single-ness thrust upon them.

  23. Rachel Gibson on 07 Feb 2009 at 9:53 am #

    My son wants me to go see Friday the 13th with him. I don’t like theaters, so I declined. He is currently without a girlfriend and called me yesterday and asked to take me to lunch on V-day. I’m having lunch with my son and dinner out with Mr. G. It shaping up to be a perfect V-day.

    rachelg

  24. Margaret on 07 Feb 2009 at 10:26 am #

    Great, Rachel. Your Valentine’s Day sounds like a plan.

    The excuse I give my grandchildren for not going to see movies in a theater is that I don’t care to pay big money to have my feet stuck to floor and milk dud melted to the seat of my good pants.

    Have I mentioned my grandchildren think I’m from another planet?

  25. evlqn on 07 Feb 2009 at 11:01 am #

    Margaret you can tell your grandkids the same thing my sister told hers last week when they told her to “Be cool” “I’m 63 years old, I don’t have to be cool. And you are going to school tomorrow.”

  26. evlqn on 07 Feb 2009 at 11:03 am #

    Have fun goddesses, I am on my way to Corvallis,12 year old has two games today. The other one plays tomorrow.

  27. Nicole Jordan on 07 Feb 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    Fun blog, Rachel! Love your list. I especially agree with number 2 about restaurants.

    We don’t usually celebrate V day cause our wedding anniversary is 2 weeks earlier. I don’t care for the commercialism either, but at least its better than Halloween or Xmas!

  28. Margaret on 07 Feb 2009 at 1:47 pm #

    Nicole, putting the day aside, eating out is NEVER a bad thing. Except for your waistline and pocketbook. Other than that, it’s a good thing. It means you don’t have to cook and you can bring leftovers home.

    For you non-Southerners. The South is loaded with cafeterias. My mother carried a ginormous purse. Sometimes I think it must have weighed half her 83 lbs. She carried Baggies in it and would take half her meal home with her for future enjoyment. I can’t relate to 83 lbs myself but I now carry Baggies of the zipper type in my purse. It’s lovely as it embarrasses the grandkids.

    Did I tell you my grandkids think I’m weird? It’s so much fun to annoy the young fry.

  29. Ayse on 07 Feb 2009 at 2:48 pm #

    Try walking into a Victorias Secret on Valentines Day (or the day before). The guys trying to describe their girl friends bra size are pretty funny.

  30. Karen Hawkins on 07 Feb 2009 at 4:14 pm #

    Rachel, you are to darn funny! I agree with EVERY one of your points, esp the size 2 undies.

    Ohhh, V-Day! Like some of you, I haaate being told which days are supposed to be romantic. This year, we’ll be in Raleigh hanging with Claudia D and Sabrina J which will be SO fun! I haven’t been this excited about a V-Day in years!

  31. Holly on 09 Feb 2009 at 1:04 pm #

    All the women in your office getting dozens of roses on Valentine’s Day when you know for a fact most of them sent them themselves, because they have told you in the past.

  32. Trish on 09 Feb 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    I worked for a florist for about 2 years and the most horrible thing I saw was men coming in and spending $100 for a dozen roses because the calender says you have to. I always thought highly of the men who would stop by on their way home and spend $15 for a loose bouquet of fresh flowers just to “make her day”.

  33. laura robeck on 09 Feb 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    When I worked the front desk of a medical clinic I loved to say “Happy VD” to patients as they were leaving. It took them a minute to realize I ment valentines day. People in the waiting room enjoyed there surprised faces. That’s the most fun I had on VD.

  34. Pesky on 10 Feb 2009 at 12:45 pm #

    I really don’t have any. It’s a fairly innocuous holiday, I find if I ignore it, it goes away. :D The guys I’ve dated in the past are happy enough with a home cooked meal, and suprise…sex. :D (Lets be honest here…I could have skipped the meal.) I’ve gotten some pretty nice presents and some real clunkers though (knick knacks for someone that hates to dust…yick, a cd of song he thought I’d like from several different albums….he took time….yayness) My main issue is the whole holiday, if you love someone, why wait until one day of the year to put yourself out?

  35. Kathleen on 11 Feb 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    It is just another day in the year for me. Don’t celebrate it anymore. Will be spending this Valentine’s day recovering from eye surgery. Can’t remember the last time someone sent or bought me anthing for this occasion.
    I loved your list by the way and I agree with them all.

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