YADDA, YADDA, YADDA!
Aug 7th 2008
Karen HawkinsWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
Yesterday, I was trying to get the laundry done, finish my five Alpha pages, tune up my synopsis for submission, keep the dogs from driving me crazy, and stop the phone from ringing when . . . it did. I answered it the way I always do –
“Hello?”
Silence. Then I hear my DH say in a cautious voice, “What’s wrong?”
One word and he knew I was stressed. Now I didn’t yell “Hello.” Nor did I snap it. I just SAID it. But that’s why my DH is such a DEAR Heart — he gets me.
They say that women use 25,000 words a day while men only use about 9,000. I can see that. Think of how many words you know for the color ‘beige’ (eggshell, winter white, cream, natural, sand, off-white, etc) and yet he’ll only know one (”Uh. I don’t know. Beige-y?”). Women, as a whole, are more descriptive.
My DH is a great listener. He really, REALLY listens. I know because he always passes the little quiz I give him at the end of every conversation. Right now he’s carrying a 97.4 average which is pretty impressive, if I say so myself.
Of course, not all men are good listeners. Some men stare vacantly over your shoulder (my son, for example) and you can tell that what they’re really thinking about is how much gas they have in their car and whether or not to take a shower before leaving the house.
Worse, some guys will actually pretend to listen while some just wander off in mid-sentence. My dad does that to my mom. He’s not being rude . . . well, he is, but not intentionally. He just doesn’t hear well and so he has a tendency to tune out ‘noise’ and uhm, that would be her.
How do the men (DHs, kids, fathers, brothers, milkmen) in your life listen? Are they active listeners? Do they pretend to listen? Have any of them ever wandered off while you were explaining how you ended up buying red pumps when you actually went to the store to purchase popcorn? And what do you do to make sure they’re tuning in? Oh, and how many words DO you know for the color ‘beige?’
40 Comments »
40 Responses to “YADDA, YADDA, YADDA!”
Mary on 07 Aug 2008 at 6:11 am #
I am so glad this is today’s topic! My son and I were talking about his schedule yesterday and how he’s working too much to keep his grades up when it dawned on me that he really only hears the beginning of each of my sentences and never the end.
I think he just can’t focus that long. It’s as if his mind is slippery like oil and can’t ’stick’ that long. So I started shortening my sentences and darned if he didn’t seem to listen better!
Lisa H on 07 Aug 2008 at 7:53 am #
Oh Karen! If my husband actually listened to at least 50% of what I say, we would never argue. I have been tempted to write important decison type conversations down and have him sign them. It is horrible! I even ask him to repeat pertinent info, and still he forgets or doesn’t log it into his permanet memory. Now if it were a work related fact, he can remember the smallest text book notation!
I know many words for beige and not only are the words different, the color’s hues are all slightly different!
freshechelle on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:01 am #
Great! A topic that let’s me rant!!! I don’t have a DH and my mom and sis pick on my dad enough that I’ll lay off him.
Men who work in the service industry DO NOT listen. I give the specifics up front like “my house has old wiring so please make sure your floor sander will work here before we go any further”,
when I take my car in for service,
when I call an IT help desk to fix my computer,
when I’m explaining why my DVD player is now broken in yet another a new way because your 3rd repair in 6 weeks has caused more damage.
Really boys? I know we gals talk a lot but I’m giving you only the pertinent facts here to SAVE YOU TIME.
Ah, that feels better. Bless you Karen and your intuitive DH! gotta go throw my dvd player through their shop window now.
amy1242 on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:16 am #
I love my dh to no end, but the communication factor is, and always will be, a huge problem for us. His mind is always on work, so I have to pick very carefully, when I approach him with pertinent information to his life. It’s best if the Brewers aren’t playing or there’s not an updated sports report somewhere on tv, too. He figures, I run the family and he runs the business. I’ve come to accept that fact and only bother him when needed. However…my logic could be completely off, because he always gets me things I mention I want, for my birthday or our anniversary. So, maybe he IS listening and just ACTING like he’s not? Could I, in fact, be wrong? Hmmmm…relationships are mind numbing.
Jessie on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:17 am #
My poor dad doesn’t listen at all. He, my mom, and I will be watching TV and I’ll start talking to him. I’ll get through my story and ask him a question. No answer. I ask again. Nothing. I say, “Daddy!” really loudly, he says, “Oh, I thought you were talking to Mama.” For real? It’s ridiculous, but kind of endearing.
My ex-boyfriend listened really well except when he was playing video games. I could always tell when he was playing because his answers would get really vague. When he wasn’t playing, though, he listened to me better than I did to myself, and could repeat my words five minutes later after I’d forgotten them. That was kind of inconvenient.
What really bugs me about boys and listening is that they never react to my stories the way I want them to. If I’m really excited about something, my dad will respond with a bland, “Oh, that’s great.” When I want, “Wow! That’s awesome. Tell me more about it!”
Another beige word–ecru. I think.
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:22 am #
LisaH, I wonder how much of ‘not listening’ is because — like my son — they simply can’t. He canNOT listen. But if he reads something, he knows it forever. Sort of like ear-oriented ADD. Sorta.
Fresh, I know EXACTLY what you mean — and don’t even get me started on this mechanic I took my car to once. I told him, “It’s running rough. I think it needs new spark plugs and wires because it’s been a while.” And he TOTALLY ignored me and ran all of these tests, then told me (as if I hadn’t originally said it to him) “Looks like it needs new plugs and wires!” Grrr! That was the last time I spent a dime in his shop, though.
Amy, maybe he thinks that if he ‘doesn’t listen’ during the game, then you won’t talk during the game? I dunno! You should ask him!
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:25 am #
(Amy con’t) Just don’t ask him during a game.
My guy and I have a thirty minute rule. I’m alone a good bit of every day, so when he gets home, I want to talk, talk, talk. Well, he’s been working all day and when he gets home he wants quiet, quiet, quiet. So we compromise. He gets thirty minutes of silence and then I can talk all I want. It works great!
Jessie, my sister is a reaction-seeker. I can always tell when she wants me to get really excited about something and sometimes, because I’m ornery, I’ll pretend I don’t get that signal from her. I know it drives her crazy, but hey, that’s what sisters are for! Teehee!
Louisa Cornell on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:28 am #
Don’t get me started! At work male customers are some of the worst I have. They don’t listen. Southern men can be some of the most spoiled men on the planet. They all think they are Jesus Christ and if you don’t believe them just ask their MOTHERS!! Just because their wives put up with their crap doesn’t men I have to. I try to explain why a certain product isn’t in stock, or cost so much or any of a number of other things and they just keep talking as if I have not said a word. They want what they want and if you don’t tell them what they want to hear you are “copping an attitude.” I want to tell them “Buddy, if I was copping an attitude you’d be writhing on the floor cupping your undersized genitals!”
My brothers can tend to dismiss me, but when they do i just walk away and they know I am ticked. Then they become contrite and actually listen. Kid brothers! Sheesh!
My nephews and my best friend’s teenaged son actually listen to me, because we usually discuss things they like!
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:37 am #
Louisa, you’re scaring me. I think it was the whole ‘writhing on the floor cupping your undersized testicles” that did it.
My son’s actually getting better at listening as he ages but if he’s watching a movie or playing a video game, forgeddaboutit. He can’t do two things at once.
Know what I HATE? I hate to be on the phone and then someone say something to me. I completely lose my place and can’t remember what I’m saying. I’m still working on my DH on that one. He is a great multi-tasker. Me, not so much.
cail on 07 Aug 2008 at 9:25 am #
my DH definitely gets me, so if i’m cranky or annoyed he can tell. HOWEVER, he DOES have ADD which means if he’s doing anything else, I have to wait, and request full attention in order for him to actually hear what I’m saying. But then, I get this, so it works out nicely. I’ve also learned that if I text message him reminders about important things that he always remembers. Really I’m extremely lucky he’s mine.
My dad is a talker. He’s the type who will call you up and expect an hr long conversation. He’s pretty good at retaining information unless it’s my mom, and she’s ranting at him.
My brother is DEFINITELY the silent type. Someone had to be in a family full of chatter mouths. You can definitely get him talking, and he’s very social, but will definitely roll his eyes if given instructions that could have used 5 words instead of 20.
Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Aug 2008 at 9:44 am #
I guess I’m lucky. My husband is an excellent listener. He has a memory like a sieve, unfortunately, so what I say doesn’t always stick, but I can’t take insult at that, since he doesn’t remember much of anything (except car statistics–THOSE he remembers). Although he surprised me yesterday by recounting a memory about my son that I had utterly forgotten.
My DAD, on the other hand, is very ADD, so his mind always wanders when you’re talking to him. Since I too am ADD, I know the signs. That is also the reason that I’m the one more likely not to be listening to my dh than the other way around. But put Dad and I together and the conversations are bizarre. We’re always leaping to the next subject and not really paying attention. I’m sure anybody watching us would think we’re nuts.
Claudia Dain on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:08 am #
Male workmen. Most of them are horrible. It’s like they can’t hear me because my voice is pitched too high.
I had one at the house years ago and was telling him what I needed done. He kept misunderstanding me, staring at me arrogantly, asking questions I’d already answered. I finally, near tears, called DH at the office and had him talk to the guy over the phone (which made me feel so guilty and inept because DH has this high stress job and I’m calling him to talk to a workman?). Anyway, DH says to the guy the EXACT SAME WORDS I’ve said to him and the guy goes, “Oh, fine. No problem.”
I get on the phone with DH and snivel that I’d tried my best, said the same thing, but no comprendo. DH soothed me by saying that some guys just refuse to listen to a woman and it wasn’t my fault. *He* didn’t think I was an imbecile.
I’ll love him forever for that. And he listens to me, or I beat him up.
Nicole Jordan on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:11 am #
Fun topic, Karen!! I guess my dh is pretty good. If I see him mentally drifting off, I’ll call him on it so he snaps back to attention. And if I start to run on, he’ll make a circling motion with his finger so I know I need to speed up my narrative and not drift off onto tangents, which I’m prone to do at times.
Oh, and I would love to say a big congrats to Suzanne for making the NYT list with BEFORE THE SCANDAL!!! And to say thank you to all the goddess readers for buying the book!!
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:14 am #
cail, that’s so cool that you know your dh’s methods of communicating and are able to do so! I use the text thing, too, with my son. Works wonders!
Sabrina, I can just see you and your dad:
Dad: … so I bought a new radiator and the car runs good as new.
Sabrina: Mom says there’s pumpkin pie for dessert! I haven’t had that in years.
Dad: The tires are good on it, too, so it should be good for another year or two before it needs anything else.
Sabrina: We had chocolate mousse at RWA but it wasn’t all that great.
Dad: Unless, of course, a belt goes. I should get those checked.
Sabrina. Ooooh! I hope we have whipped cream!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Claudia, I always feel guilty if I let a guy do the talking for me, but with some cavemen like members of society, it’s just easier. My yard guy, for instance, never listens to me, but jumps everytime my guy sneezes. I’m looking for a new one, though. new guy, not my guy.
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:16 am #
Nicole, I can’t see anyone telling you to speed up your narrative! You have the perfect pace now.
And yup, our Suzanne hit the lists Big Time! She’s a rocket, zooming to the top. And oh, I know she’s EXCITED!
Congrats, Suzanne!
SuzyQ on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:41 am #
I guess I’m lucky because my dh is a very good listener. Unfortunately he always has to put in his two cents worth too. Sometimes that’s OK, but not when I just want to rant a little and get things off my chest. Now I on the other hand am accused of not listening. That’s mostly because I work all day so when I come home I have to cook, clean the kitchen, kids bathed, etc. So my dh usually follows me from room to room. But I do listen, I’m just doing other things too.
My son, being 7 years old only hears what he wants to.
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:52 am #
Suzy, I can listen when I’m doing housework, too. It’s mindless, so it’s easy.
Btw, my brother is a last-word-man, too. No matter what you have to say, he knows something about it — which is true! He reads a LOT and knows TONS of stuff. If you’re ever playing Trivial Pursuit, be sure he’s on your team!
What do you guys think of that book Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus where the author states that when women tell their troubles to a guy, they don’t want him to offer solutions, but just listen. I think that’s junk pop psychology because if I’m at the point of asking for someone’s opinion, I WANT to know what suggested solutions they have.
Of course the author has been married and divorced three times so . . . huh. Still, it sold like hot cakes and I have some friends who swear by it. Any of you guys read it?
Karen Rose on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:55 am #
DH is a good listener. He does, however, enjoy watching me get riled up when men don’t listen to me. We built a house years ago (I will NEVER do that again) and the foreman on the job had missed several major things. Like a back door that was supposed to go to a deck, but instead dropped fifteen feet to the ground below. Little things like that. I wanted it fixed before closing. It was just one thing in what had become a nightmare of workman incompetence and repeated do-overs. The foreman turned to my husband wearily and said, “Can’t you make her shut up?”
DH’s eyes actually twinkled as he waited for the fireworks to ensue. I was in rare form and needless to say, the foreman made sure I was a satisfied customer before we closed on the house.
I HATE it when male workmen ignore me. I want to hit them on the head with my framed patents.
Okay, I’m done.
Karen Rose on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:57 am #
Oh, and Suzanne - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! So very cool and so very deserved!!!!!!!
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 11:10 am #
Karen Rose, he DIDN’T! I can’t BELIEVE someone would be so rude! I says a lot for your DH that he stepped back because he knew you were about to go Camo on that guy. I’m proud of you!
Construction workers tend to be worse than most others. I don’t know if it’s because they don’t work with enough women to be reminded of The Facts, or what, but ohhh, they get my dander up! And apparently Karen Rose’s, too!
Btw, I have to tell you all that Karen, Julia L, and Sabrina all looks incredible thin and svelte at Nationals. I am determined to do better with my exercise and diet, too.
amy1242 on 07 Aug 2008 at 11:22 am #
Congrat’s Suzanne! I just finished Before the Scandal and absolutely LOVED it!! I can’t wait to hear what happens to Bram and William! Phin’s story was awesome! Thanks so much for writing it!!
Ronlyn on 07 Aug 2008 at 11:35 am #
My guys are pretty good. My oldest son is only 4, so that’s still a work in progress. I have him repeat instructions back to me so I know he heard me, and is actually retaining what I said.
My DH…it depends. If we’re having a serious conversation he’s there, 100%. Apparently I get a glint in my eye that says, “You better listen to me or I’m going to pull your balls up through your nose.” My son even says that “Mama get’s the crazy eye when she’s upset. You better do what she says when that happens.” LOL
In the daily run of things my DH is good about 80% of the time. Normally I’ll drop a verbal landmine if I notice he’s slipping, just to see if he catches it and bring him back to the conversation. “Honey, I’m going to run and get milk, pick up some cat littler…maybe buy some sexy lingerie then I’ll make tacos for dinner.” Yeah, I guess it’s a sneaky thing to do, but it keeps him on his toes.
Julia London on 07 Aug 2008 at 11:36 am #
Congrats, Suzie! It is well deserved and about time!
Ronlyn on 07 Aug 2008 at 11:41 am #
I’ve discovered the best thing to do with workmen is the same thing I do with my 4 year old.
Me: So, I want these bookshelves to be installed, 18 inches apart and to end 3 inches from the fireplace bricks.
*workman nods and ignores me*
Me: How are you going to do the bookshelves?
*workman stares at me, but notices I’m firmly planted in front of his tools so shrugs and says*
WM: 18 inches apart, ending 3 inches from the bricks.
Me: And what type of brackets are you using? And what type of wood? Screws or nails?
Mainly, I bluff like I know a whole hell of a lot more about it than I really do.
Jessie on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:03 pm #
KarenH- Ha! hat’s so mean about your sister! I bet she gets so frustrated. I’ve never read Men/Mars-Women/Venus, but I have to say I kind of agree with that statement. Like SuzyQ, I usually am just ranting and don’t want my boyfriend to say anything unless it’s sympathetic. When he tries to solve my problems for me, I get a little testy/defensive and argue with him. Because, seriously, I can do it myself. Now, if I ask for advice specifically, that’s different. I actually want his opinion.
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:22 pm #
Ronlyn, I’m laughing outloud at your ‘mean look!’ You must be able to throw some serious Stink Eye. You’ve got me quaking! I like your trick of slipping in an unexpected tidbit when you’re talking to your dh. I may borrow that . . .
Jessie, if I’m ranting then I’m like you and Suzy — I don’t need advice. But usually, if I’m at the point of giving specifics, I like hearing other people’s opinions. I suppose people who just barge in and start telling you how to ‘fix’ things, would really get annoying. I hadn’t thought of it quite like that, but you guys are entirely right. I’d get riled, too!
As for my sister, I know, I know. It’s mean and I should quit it, but . . . Teehee!
Margaret Garland on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:23 pm #
Interesting topic today, KarenH. Since I am a widow and live alone, workmen has best listen to me if they want me to cross their palms with the green stuff. I like the idea of having them repeat back what was just told to them.
My oldest step-son has a tiny window of interests. If I’m not listening to him flap his gums about the restaurant business, I am being bored into insanity by all the gory details of his latest golf game. Any other topic is of little interest to him. He’s turned into an old fossil since her passed 40 some years back. I just tune him out on the golf stuff.
My daddy used to interrupt me right in the middle of a sentence and change the subject. It drove me crazy! I could tell he was fixing to do it because he’d get a distant look in his eyes and I knew I’d lost him. I loved him anyway.
Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:28 pm #
OMG, KarenH, are you listening in on my conversations or what? But actually, they’re more like this:
Dad (while stirring coffee): So, I think we’re going to have the tax guy look at the– Do you have any sugar?
Me: I told you five times already, Dad, the sugar is in the sugar bowl over there. Oh, wait, I forgot I have to get sugar, too. Let me add that to the list– (I head for the shopping list)
Dad: I’ve really cut down on putting sugar in my coffee.
Me: What were you saying about the tax guy? (Spots laundry on way to shopping list). Dad, did you put that load in?
Dad (who understands perfectly even if no one else does): Oh, I was on my way to do that when I remembered I wanted that coffee.
Me: I’ll do it.
Dad: Where’s the sugar again?
With ADD, it’s multiple conversations and multiple segues. It’s not NEARLY as simple as yours. *G*
Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:31 pm #
Margaret, my dad does that all the time. It’s an ADD thing. I can always tell with him, too. His eyes glaze over. It drives my siblings more crazy than it drives me. But they’re not ADD.
That’s the great thing about my friends. They sort of “steer” me back to the subject periodically. I love my friends. They adapt. *G*
Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:33 pm #
And mucho congrats to Suzanne! I will have Will and Jane raise a glass to you!
Jessie on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:35 pm #
Oh, congratulations Suzanne! I finished reading BTS the other day, and I loved it! Phin might even replace Saint as my all-time-favorite SE hero…well, maybe not, but he’s superclose.
colinfirthfan on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:35 pm #
I think my DH and I are about even. If I’m reading/watching T.V, I never hear anyone talking to me. He can’t hear if the T.V is on or if he is working.
I ask him - Did you hear what I just said? What did I say?
I have to agree about the advice part. Sometimes I’m just b@*$chin’ and moanin’ and I just want him to nod. Not give me a lecture. Of course if he starts then I always tell him he should do it next time. That shuts him up nicely for awhile!!
My 2 boys (8 and 4) can’t hear at all unless they hear the magic words… PS2, computer games etc.. I make them repeat everything I tell them.
Lisa H on 07 Aug 2008 at 12:39 pm #
Louisa - You Go Girl! Are you sure you’re not a New Yorker?
Karen H - I have read that book, “Men are from Mars…” and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t need to vent, I can do that to my girlfriends, or fellow goddesses or in my head, sometimes I need a different perspective and a solution, (especially when dealing with teenage son) and I would like a direct answer/conclusion!
I don’t know about the ADD ear thingy. A few sarcastic remarks I may have uttered over the course of our marraige, those he remembers verbatum!
Yasmin on 07 Aug 2008 at 1:07 pm #
My lilttle brother always claims temporary amnesia. I hate vacumming so I leave the house and tell him dont make a mess and just vaccum for me please. I get home 1 or 2 hrs later to find that he has used about 5 plates and 10 cups!! His shoes are in the living rm. He is only one person! No kidding! soemtimes I will be like “did you listen to me? “Yes” he answers. Okay Are you going to do it? Yes, he answers? I repeat this process about 3 times and he still doesnt feed the dog, throw away the trash or something. When I tell him what happened he is like “huh? I dont remember you telling me to do it.” I just want to pulled his hair out when he does that. We dont ask too much from him except good grades and some chores but he is so spoiled he does nothing because eventually me, sis or mom will end up doing it.
Yasmin on 07 Aug 2008 at 1:10 pm #
Karen–I am with you. I hate it when I am on he phone and someone comes up starts talking like nothing. My mom loves to do that. She is like make an appt for me. She tells me the date she wants and the time interval. I am on the phone with the rep and she changes her mind and starts telling no this date and that and then we still end up with original appt because her doc only has those time.
Frustrating. THe poor thing right now is so sick right now. I gave her the flu I had the last wk.
Claudia Dain on 07 Aug 2008 at 1:27 pm #
Congrats, Suzanne!!!
And, yeah, when I’m ranting or talking or puzzled, I want advice/feedback/another perspective. I don’t just want to hear myself talk! That Mars/Venus book never did it for me.
Nicole Jordan on 07 Aug 2008 at 2:10 pm #
>>>What do you guys think of that book Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus
I remember when this was a big hit — my sis-in-law raved about it. So I skimmed thru it and kept shaking my head in disaggreement at all the stereotypes. Lumping men and women into strict categories of behavior drove me nuts. Esp since up until then I had spent my all my college years in engineering and my entire professional life as an engineering/manufacturing manager trying to minimize the differences between the genders.
And in my own personal experience with my dh, we didn’t see even a fraction of the differences between us that the book claimed as fact.
But my s-i-l was going through a divorce at the time, so maybe it helped her to explain why she never got along with her husband… she could point to all his negative behaviors and say ahah, that’s why he’s such a jerk!
I do believe there are differences between the sexes — both from nature and nurture — but you have to make allowances for individual personalities and upbringing. And I can say truthfully that I believe no two men are alike, lol.
Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Aug 2008 at 6:01 pm #
Yeah, my husband doesn’t fit their profile either, but I just figured it was because he’s not like other men (doesn’t like sports, doesn’t have any problem with my success or my more advanced education, never makes jokes about women). Through the years, I’ve realized that quite a few of my friends’ husbands don’t fit the profile either. Which made me wonder if the profile fits that well.
I mean, I think the basic premise is right–that men TEND to communicate to give information in as few words as possible and that women TEND to communicate to establish emotional connections. But beyond that, some of the stuff doesn’t really fit for either of us. The “ranking” thing, for example, where men are supposedly the only ones who try to rank themselves with other men. Having just come from conference, I can assure you that women do it, too, just more subtly.
Louisa Cornell on 07 Aug 2008 at 8:47 pm #
Lisa H - I get that all the time! I was a kinder, gentler person BEFORE I went to work for Wal-Mart.
Suzanne, I just finished Before the Scandal and I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it! Phin is one sexy doll of a man! Yummy!! No wonder it is topping the charts. Thanks for writing such a wonderful book!!
Karen H, ME? SCARY? Little ole me?? Only if you are a man who is a jerk. I am almost 50 now. My tolerance of idiots is REALLY low!
The funny thing is to hear these young guys at work say “Yes, Miss Pam.” “I’ll take care of it, Miss Pam.”
Karen Hawkins on 07 Aug 2008 at 9:39 pm #
colinfirthfan, if we could only begin every sentence to our sons with PSP or XBox … they’d never miss a word.
LisaH, yeah, that book did the same to me. In some places, it seemed sort of . . . condescending. I hate HATE HAAAATE that.
Yasmin, that sounds like a case of Convenience Hearing and it’s not specifically for the male of the species. My daughter has the same problem!
Yes, Louisa — you, SCARY. Lol!
Nicole, I agree — it’s hard to say what’s nature and what’s nurture, but it’s nice to blame someone!
Sabrina, that’s EXACTLY the point — that the premise isn’t wrong, it’s the specificity of it that goes awry. Men and women communicate differently, but not necessarily according to a script.