Hey, wait! WHAT HAPPENED? I was supposed to be President of the World.
Jul 24th 2008
Karen HawkinsGoddess Eye Candy & On Writing!
One of the good things about being friends with a cop is that when you get hit with a car, they know exactly what to do. And so when my DH was riding bikes with a friend of his this past Sunday, and some jerk ran a red light and hit his friend, my guy took care of things.
He called 911, administered first aid, kept his friend immobile, got info from the reckless jackass who ran the red, and kept the other 40 bike riders who pedaled through from lynching the idiot. Our friend is still in the hospital today and is scheduled for surgery this afternoon.
Things like that can make you reflective. It’s made us both re-evaluate our lives. And sometime this morning, it dawned on me that when I was in high school, I knew exactly how my life would roll.
ACT I: By the time I was 30, I was going to be a hot shot lawyer who made big, HUGE money and lived in a sexy city with AT LEAST four Starbucks within a two block area. I wasn’t planning on getting married until I was 35 and I thought ‘kids’ were those cute little goats they have at petting zoos.
ACT II: Ten years later, I was married, with two kids in school, working as a Director of Student Activities in a small town in the mountains of Georgia. There wasn’t a single Starbucks within a 48 mile radius, either. I thought marriage was forever, I’d never let my kids move away, and that I’d always live in the country.
ACT III: Today, I’m nothing like the woman I thought I’d be. I’m divorced, engaged to a guy I met four years ago, and writing romance novels full time. I live in a city with a very posh mall within walking distance of my house. And a Target. And an Office Depot. And my gym. Oh, and I can walk to a sushi bar, an Italian restaurant, an Irish pub, a Mexican restaurant, FOUR different coffee shops (including two Starbucks) and a nifty Fed Ex, too. My daughter is going to college in another state (though I talk to her several times a day) and my son is taller than I am.
ACT IV: Who knows? I’m beginning to think one should stop planning and just live.
Do you ever get reflective when life shakes your tree? How similar is your life to what you imagined it would be ten years ago? Where do you plan on being ten years from now?
64 Comments »
64 Responses to “Hey, wait! WHAT HAPPENED? I was supposed to be President of the World.”
Elyse W on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:28 am #
Hi everyone! I’m new but I wanted to say I am NOWHERE where I thought I’d be.
First, I’m honored to be among so many goddesses both readers and authors! I’ve been lurking for months.
Anyway, to the topic — when I was 20, I planned on being a ballerina (ok, ok — not realistic, but I really WANTED it and was willing to MAKE it work!), never marry, and travel the world, eating fabulous room service and speaking a multitude of foreign languages.
Now, I’m over 30, married, an office manager for a lawyer’s office, only speak English and a smattering of Spanish, and have four kids. Wouldn’t trade this life for all the glam in the world.
Funny how what you THINK will make you happy, actually WON’T.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:31 am #
Btw, I wrote that post last weekend and my friend came through his surgery with flying colors and is doing well. He’s facing a long road of physical therapy, but he’s tough and capable and just a wonderful guy, and he’s healing REMARKABLY fast!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:33 am #
And welcome Elyse!
Glad to have you on Mt. Oly!
I agree — sometimes what makes you happy changes as you grow. Ya gotta be flexible when you face your future or you might miss an opportunity.
Jessie on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:53 am #
Well, ten years ago, I was in middle school, and I thought that in ten years I would be in college (which I am), have a supercute boyfriend (which I did for a while), and I would be studying to be an English teacher (which I’m not, I’m studying to be an editor).
Ten years from now, I want to be married with two kids. I want to be living in New York. I want to be working at HarperCollins as an Editor. Or maybe Random House. Ideally, I would be working in the Romance or the Children’s divisions. OR I would like to be living back in the South with my husband working and me staying home with the kids. Or working at some other job that I can’t imagine yet.
Right now I am at that point where I’m scared to death that things won’t work out like I’ve planned, and I’m so determined to make it happen. I’m just afraid that I’ll want it too much to have it actually happen.
Hello Elyse!
Karen Rose on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:19 am #
Welcome Elyse!
Karen, I’m so glad your guy’s friend is okay!
When I was in high school I wanted to be a scientist, make a good wage and settle down with my brand new guy - a funny, at times disrepectful guy who taught me how to have fun and laugh. I wanted kids and a normal life.
HA! I’m not sure anyone has a “normal” life. Mine’s been full of bumps, but I’m so very grateful for all of it. Ten years ago, at 34, I thought I’d seen it all - cancer (DH’s - he’s fine), infertility, a child with a disabilty and a job I alternately loved and despised. Ten years ago I wrote as a hobby because I spent so many hours on the road. Ten years ago I thought I’d get promoted at P&G and retire there.
Kim on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:19 am #
Hello Elyse!
Hold the blog! Did you say “engaged” K-Hawk?! Congrats to you and your own super-hero!!
Back to the blog, funny you should bring this up. My DH and I were talking about this the other day. All my life I thought I would be a stay at home mom. That was how I defined myself and the standard I held myself to. Then I wasn’t able to stay home with my son. Then I wasn’t able to have more children. It was devastating to me because to me I was a complete failure.
Now that I’m older and able to define myself as something other than a mom; I’m much happier with myself. More confident and I feel successful within myself.
Now, in the future I imagine I’ll have my own handmaiden cabana with Adrian Paul and Colin Firth as my slave boys
Karen Rose on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:19 am #
HA! Who knew? Ten years later, I’m still with my guy and he still makes me laugh, every day. For that I’m more grateful than words can say. My daughters are beautiful and gifted (I might be a little biased, LOL). I switched jobs eight years ago, then lost the new one when the company downsized. Again, my tree was truly shaken. I’d just sold my first book and at 38, was too old to get a job in my field. Young pups who cost less were being hired. So, I became a high school teacher and wrote full-time.
Ten years and nine books later, I look back, mostly stunned. We made it through the rain, to quote Manilow. And every step, even the painful ones were instrumental. I’m glad I couldn’t see ahead. I could have missed the pain, but I’d have missed the dance, to quote Garth Brooks.
Ten years from now – I’m not even going to hazard a guess!
I think I’ll go give my guy a big kiss, then I’m off to the gym, to work off 10 years of sitting in a chair. HA!
Kim on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:20 am #
KarenH–I’m so glad your friends is doing well. What a scary thing!
Lisa H on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:22 am #
Karen, I am glad your friend is doing well.
My life kind of turned out like yours. I had intended to “get married, have babies and live happily ever after”
Many a curve ball has been thrown at me and I’m now in a very different place than I thought I’ve ever be, but its good.
I now look forward to the furture, I still have plans, but they are not written in stone, if a curve ball comes, I’ll go with it and see how that works out.
My favorite poem is Robert Frost’s “The Road Less Traveled By” Sometimes we don’t get to make the choice ourselves, but the journey can still be wonderful.
cail on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:23 am #
welcome elyse!
I had planned on being a stage actress and living out my days in NYC. At some point in college I realized I hated what I was doing (acting) and got a bit lost in the shuffle. I graduated and sold my soul to corporate America.
Then last year, I fell completely head over heals in love with my long time close friend, then we both realized we hated our jobs, then were both laid off due to the economy the same day from different companies, and have now moved to the country where he is pursuing his dream of working in the winery/brewery industry and i’m preparing to get a masters degree in education to become a teacher.
Definitely not what I would have expected I’d be doing even a year ago.
Lisa H on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:24 am #
Kim - let me know how that “slave boy” cabana works out.
I will have to plot something simaler!
Lisa H on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:26 am #
Karen - please give us engagement/wedding details!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cail on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:31 am #
and gosh, Karen, that’s scary about your DH’s friend! I read an article about how cars are actively becoming frustrated by the bikes on the road due to the gas prices… said they’re not giving riders proper space. It’s scary as a bike rider.
Kari on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:32 am #
I’ve thought about his a lot over the last few years cause I’m sure not where I thought I would be. When I was in middle shool I had a schedule planned out. At 18 I would be engaged, at 20 I would be married and at 22 I would have the first of 2 children. As far as the career goes, I was going to be a zoologist. I’d had hamsters all my life so why would studying animals for a living be such a stretch?
When I graduated I scratched the schedule and decided I would settle for the man of my dreams and live like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Kids were optional. With so many divorces and seperations and such, I figured I would just be happy and do my own thing.
As it turned out, a year after graduation I moved to Florida at 19, met my husband to be at 19, got engaged at 20 got married at 21 and had my first and only child (so far) at 24. I was only a few years off on my schedule.
Cont.
Karen Rose on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:35 am #
Cail - you go! Funny how being laid off makes you reconsider.
Lisa H - I also love that Frost poem. I have a book of his poems on the shelf over my computer right now. The Road Less Traveled is one of the only poems I’ve ever really understood.
Kim - Can I come over to your handmaiden cabana. Please?
Jessie, don’t be afraid of the pitfalls on the way to getting your dream. It’s all part of the ride.
Man, do I feel old saying that
Kari on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:39 am #
Cont.
Where do I plan on being???? I really have no idea. You can plan and plan but God might have a different plan. I think I will just ride the wave of life and see where I end up.
Congrats on the engagement!!
I’m glad your dh’s friend is doing better. One of my gf’s hd’s dad wasn’t so lucky a few months ago. It wasn’t a red light runner but a woman who didn’t look as she was pulling out onto a busy road. Gf’s mil got back on a bike a few weeks later and ended up crashing it into a ditch during riding lessons she was taking. She was fine, in fact I don’t think she had a scratch on her. She hung up the keys after that. She took it as a sign that riding bikes isn’t her thing.
Louisa Cornell on 24 Jul 2008 at 8:40 am #
Karen H - So glad to hear your friend is doing well. Scary! And CONGRATULATIONS!!!! HE is a very lucky guy!
Ten years ago I had been a widow for 5 years. I was a high school teacher and worked another job to try and pay off the debts DH and I accumulated. I really saw nothing but a long line of drudgery ahead of me. We had our lives all planned. He went to med school, became a shrink. I went to music school, became an opera singer. Then when he became a doctor, I retired to become the doctor’s wife. We were ready to start out family. He had started his dream job and I was going to be a stay at home Mom and teach private voice lessons. A drunk driver changed all that. Five years ago I started at Wal-Mart and I figured I would work until I was a door greeter and then die! LOL In the last 18 months I have returned to my first love - writing. And it is actually working out in amazing ways! Ten years from now I want to be a full-time romance writer and able to help found a no-kill shelter.
cail on 24 Jul 2008 at 9:19 am #
louisa, drunk drivers infuriate me. i’m so sorry about your loss. one of my close friend’s exes died in a drunk driving accident (he was the drunk driver, and luckily didn’t hurt anyone else) i am the perpetual designated driver in my life but i worry constantly about the people out there who aren’t as reponsible.
Michelle B on 24 Jul 2008 at 9:22 am #
In high school I saw my future as being a journalist, living in the ciity in a very cool apartment (I grew up on a farm), having a cute poodle, no marriage for a while, driving a VW bug. I was going to college and determined not to get my MRS degree that everyone said you get at my college. 25 years later, all I got from that college was my MRS, I’m not sorry, my dh is the best and my soul mate. We did live in an apartment for a few months. I was teaching pre-school, we had our first child and after seeing daycare up close, I became a stay at home Mom. Dh joined the Air Force (his dream, I said let’s go for it) and 22 years, 2 more kids, 10 moves, some great part time jobs, and two miniature poodles later here I am. Love my mini van and am absolutely happy with my life. Garth Brooks does say it best, “Glad I didn’t know the way it all would go…” I”m watching my two daughters in college now make their future plans and I smile with a secret little chuckle.
Lisa H on 24 Jul 2008 at 9:44 am #
I am so amazed at the statistics regarding drunk drivers. Usually before they are caught, they have driven drunk over 100 times. In addition, once they are caught the first time is a slap on the wrist and then they continuously are given chance after chance. They may pay a stiff fine, but the devastation they cause is irrepairable. I am sorry to all of you who have suffered at the result of such selfish people. I wish they would lose their license and car after the first offense.
Kim on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:09 am #
KarenR–of course! There are no deadlines in the handmaiden cabana
Julia London on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:09 am #
I think I can safely say that if you’d told me I would end up with an 8 month old baby on my doorstep in my 40s, I would have thought you were smoking crack. And after all the trauma, drama, and Dali Lama, I wouldn’t trade him or the experience for the world.
Julia London on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:12 am #
You know what else? When I was working at the White House all those years ago as a civil servant, and Clinton was elected and FIRED me — and every other civil servant in the White House — I thought my career was over. It wasn’t — it brought me back to Texas to a high profile public administration job, but more important, if I hadn’t been fired and hadn’t come back to Texas and hadn’t had that high profile job that I loathed, I never would have started writing.
So President Clinton, I thank you for pushing me into the job of my dreams!
cail on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:13 am #
and Julia, he’s SUCH a cutie!!!
Lisa, i think you do lose your drivers license for 6 months and have to take classes for a first offense. at least thats how it is in NY and CT. The problem is, then they drive without a license.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:45 am #
Jessie! I never met anyone who wanted to be an editor before and I’ve always wondered why — I think it’d be an incredible, fun, wonderful job. I certainly admire and respect the ones I’ve worked with although they have a HECK of a workload! I hope your plans all come to fruition.
Karen Rose, give your guy a hug from us, too! I can tell he’s been a solid partner for you — that’s awesome! And thank goodness you moved from wanting to be Queen of P & G to being Queen of Romantic Suspense instead! This might be selfish, but we’d miss you!!!!
Kim, that’s such an important growth arc and I’m so glad you’re healthy and happy and making things happen. You rock, m’dear. And I wanna come and visit you in your cabana! Please please please please????
Lisa H, I love that poem. It’s tough to balance duty with desire, and when you begin to do so, your path isn’t always so clear.
cail, how romantic! Glad you and your guy are walking toward your new futures hand-in-hand.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:53 am #
Kari, I’ve never known anyone who wanted to get married and have kids at such a young age! You must have been very mature for your age! I’m glad things are working out for you, too. Sounds like you are right where you wanted to be!
Sorry to hear about your family members and their bikes although my dh’s bike was a bicycle and not a motorcycle, although he has one of those, too. I think people don’t realize that a bike — motorized or not — is allowed to use the roadways. They aren’t allowed to use highways, of course, but all of the other roads are legally theirs to use unless otherwise posted.
Louisa, your ACT I is as vibrant and fascinating as your ACT I! Sorry about your husband, although I know you carry him with you in your heart. I can tell because you laugh so much and share that with so many people.
Cail, we DDs save the world from a world of hurt. It’s so sad when a good person dies, especially at the hands of someone being selfish and irresponsible. Kudos to you!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:04 am #
Michelle, you had your future planned all the way down to what sort of dog you would have! Now THAT’S planning! I’m glad things have settled into such a lovely pattern for you.
Lisa H, I had no idea that most drunk drivers had driven drunk over 100 times. That’s so sad. I had a friend at one of the colleges I used to work at who was hit by a drunk driver and killed while she was on her way to work at 9 am. It was his fourth drunk driving incident. FOUR. And he still had a license. How does that happen?
Julia, I don’t blame you! You should put that guy in the movies. He’s THAT cute. And I’m not a ‘Oh, look at the cute baby!” sort of gal, either. It’s just a fact.
And thank you, Bill Clinton, for firing Julia. YOUR LOSS, OUR GAIN!
Sheridan LA on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:09 am #
I am glad to hear DH’s friend is ok… since I ride a lot, I get sooo furious with drivers who don’t pay attention. I even get pissed off at other drivers when I am driving who do not pay attention or respect cyclists. but that is another topic.
my plans? I had delusions of being a writer - but since I never sit down to write, not feasible. Then I wanted to be in advertising.. then PR.. ended up in PR.. then wanted to be in event planning.. did that.. then no plan… it morphed into owning retail stores and now in photography production and photography.
I never wanted to get married or have kids, though I did try the marriage thing for a while.
I did make the plan that I wanted to travel. Now I make that happen. In 10 years? I want to be traveling more, maybe doing something that lets me travel most of the year - but on my own terms, not just working (like trade shows, meetings, etc) I figure plans are guidelines open to interpretation and always subject to change without notice.
Sheridan LA on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:10 am #
oh. and congrats on the engagement, K Hawk.. though I am not seeing requested details… ’sup with that?
SuzyQ on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:29 am #
Another congrats on the engagement Karen! Details details . . .
I always wanted to be married with a couple kids and not be working. Well, the marriage and kids worked out but unfortunately I’m still working. I still dream of that happening in 10 years - the not working part. I keep playing the lottery, but so far luck is not on my side.
Freedom Writer on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:39 am #
When I was young I wanted to be a writer, but my mother told me that it was not a practical dream so I set my sites on Med School. A large class of 300 chemistry students quickly convinced me that Med School wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted to be a writer, but still searched for the practical so I continued college and took up the study of Political Science and Public Administration. I also wanted to be married and have children so while studying I married my practice husband, and a year after we divorced my real husband came along and children started showing up after that. My plan was on schedule, but the writing plan had to wait until the kids were in school, but I would be a stay home mom until then.
Flash forward 15 years, all the kids were in school. My DH was disabled and unable to work. I had dropped out of an MPA program to be a writer, but again that plan stalled due to lack of practicality, and I got a full-time job in Accounts Receivable. (cont.)
Freedom Writer on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:45 am #
(cont) My kids felt that I deserted them, which was not part of any plan. DH became Mr. Mom and complained of the boredom while the kids were in school. My plan then was to shoot him because that was supposed to be my writing time. So I revised my plan.
I am currently an at home mom and grandma who writes as full-time as I can. I have a plan to write for the rest of my life, and eventually publish my writings. My DH and I have been married for 25 years and my 4 kids are getting old enough to move out although none of them have yet. Plus one of them has added a child of their own in to the mix. I have now given up on my parents’ practicality and am living my dream which was the plan all along.
Ronlyn on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:53 am #
I’m so glad your friend is going to be ok Karen!
My life is sort of how I envisioned it, but not really.
When I was 4 I announced that I was going to be “an actress and a mommy.” that was what I wanted to be, that was the end of the discussion. I stared in high school plays and went on to college to major in theatre. I worked hard, developed a love for the technical side of things and switched my emphasis to technical theater (stage management specifically) as opposed to acting. by the time I was a junior in college I’d had enough of the drama that’s involved with people who are involved in drama. LOL. I completed my degree, because, really it would have been stupid at that point not to.
After I graduated I left Montana and moved to Seattle. Once here I met my DH, married and started popping out babies. Ok, 2 babies. I’m still in managment, but now it’s an office instead of a stage and I’m happy as a clam.
Really, I have no idea where I’ll be in 10 years.
LisaK on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:04 pm #
Gosh, I see I’m late today!
Okay, first things first: Welcome Elyse *wave*! And Ka-Hawk - *waggling eyebrows* - wanna tell us something? Engagement news, how EXITING!
Okay, now for today’s topic:
I’ll finish school in a little less than two years and actually, after that, I wanted to study arts and live as a free artist. I still want to do arts, in fact, I DO, but my dream has always been to write. But, you know how that is, everybody around you says “Well, yes, I know you’re talented, but - is that a real job you can make for a living?” and you start thinking about it and you get pessimistic. But about a week or so ago I happened to talk with my English teacher (whom I adore - he’s a great person!) and somehow the subject came to what I want to be after school. I told him that I wrote stories and wanted to become a writer and he was really impressed and asked me to bring him some of my work. I did, and he was absolutely enthusiastic! And he also showed his wife who happens
(cont)
LisaK on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:08 pm #
(cont)
to be an editor and who really liked what I wrote and now she wants to give me some tips and everything and MAN am I happy!
I think I’m kind of traditional but I want to marry early (and a really nice, cute, sexy guy, of course!) and have manymany children (I LOVE children; cannot imagine to have none!) and maybe a house here in our area and some pets. Kind of “And they lived happily ever after”, but I love it!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:14 pm #
Engagement details: He asked me. At first, I wondered if he was kidding. Then I realized that even if he was, there was only one answer, so I said yes.
Heh! I have a BEAUTIFUL sapphire ring, too. I’m not a big diamond fan and asked for something with color. It’s gorgeous.
Sheridan said: I figure plans are guidelines open to interpretation and always subject to change without notice.
Yes, they are! It’s always interesting to me how often we head for C and end up at W. It’s like tracing a path back in time! Sheridan, I hope you get to travel! I think it’s one of the most wonderful things a person can do.
SuzyQ, I played the lottery once and lost . . . and felt betrayed. I paid for that ticket, gosh darn it! I WANT MY MONEY! It never works like that, though. Pity or I’d play more.
Freedom, sounds like you have a full, fun, bustling household! I’m glad you’re still writing. When I first began, I only wrote from 10 - 11 pm weekdays, too, so I feel your pain!
Kari on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:17 pm #
Karen-It wasn’t as much a want as it was a plan. Back then (I my mind then) girls went to school then got married and had kids. I just put a time frame on the order.
The motorcycle accident was acutally my girlfriends father-in-law. He’d done everything right, had the helmet, appropriate clothing etc., but just one wrong move by another person ended it all. I know I would never get on a motorcyle (personal choice), but I have enough respect for the people that are on them to be a bit more cautious when I am driving. But don’t get me started on the jerks that ride the crotch rockets that think they are impervious to anything. OR drunk drivers.
It’s neat reading about where everyone thought they would be and where they have ended up.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:20 pm #
Ronlyn, I have a friend who is moving to Seattle in a few weeks. Do you like it there? She’s excited and nervous about starting over somewhere else, but I think she’ll enjoy it once she’d there. It’s wonderful that you’re so happy. That’s the real goal, isn’t it?
Lisa K, I think you’ll have a happy ever! It certainly sounds like you’re well on your way! Congrats on getting tips from a real editor — that’s invaluable! Keep us posted, will ya?
Man, you guys have had some active, ever-changing lives! I love that you not only know where you’ve been, but where you want to go, too.
You’re all inspiring me!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:25 pm #
Kari, that’s so sad — especially since he was doing everything right. You simply don’t have all of the protection on a motorcycle and are the whim of every other driver, some of whom are distracted, or texting, or just not paying attention. It’s a sad situation.
Karen Rose on 24 Jul 2008 at 12:32 pm #
Freedom - I’m glad you didn’t shoot your husband, LOL.
Sheridan LA on 24 Jul 2008 at 1:08 pm #
Karen.. I get to travel now.. I just want MORE!!
I want to join the World Century Club (visited 100 countries) and learn more about this amazing planet and its inhabitants.
It is really amazing reading all these stories.. lives are incredible journeys.. some sad, some wonderful - all with plot twists and turns.
Ronlyn on 24 Jul 2008 at 1:10 pm #
I love Seattle. Really, couldn’t imagine being anywhere else at this point. It’s a great city, but also still has some smaller city elements, which is nice. The people are generally very nice, there are some wonderful suburbs…it’s great! I also really like how diverse it is and how pretty much everything is accepted. I could go on and on, but I won’t bore you with it all. LOL.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 2:13 pm #
We’re all glad Freedom didn’t shoot her husband. If she had, having ‘freedom’ for a cyber name would be a bit of an oxymoron. Lol!
Sheridan, I would LOVE to be in the Travelers Century Club! I have been to … hm …seven countries. Only 93 more to go! I’d better get a move on.
It is cool to see how we all began in one direction and ended up someplace else, either because we chose to do so as our definition of happiness changed, or because we met someone or something happened to gently — and not so gently at times — nudge us off course.
Ronlyn, I will forward your words to my friend. She’s nervy about being all alone there, though I don’t think it will be for long. She’s a great friend, a wonderful cook, and will soon have tons of buds. She’s just one of those warm and welcoming sort of people. I think she’ll be so glad she’s moved once she settles. She’s in Jacksonville, FL right now and it’s not really a good ‘fit.’
Freedom Writer on 24 Jul 2008 at 2:19 pm #
KHa I was able to write from 6:30am to 9am today and got in 8 pages written.
KRo: Me too, but I have often thought that murder might lead me to a nice quiet prison cell.
Margaret Garland on 24 Jul 2008 at 2:38 pm #
I know how you feel about shooting the DH, Free. Mine was disabled his last 14 years and got mighty petulant at times.
However, I don’t think you want to be in a prison cell. From all the real-life tv shows I’ve seen on tv, prisons are the noisiest places this side of a foundry. Apparently, the lights are always on. That would be shear torture for me. No privacy. And those toilets in the corner don’t look too inviting.
Yep, I’m glad I’m a law-abiding goddess.
Margaret Garland on 24 Jul 2008 at 2:40 pm #
BTW, I’m glad I didn’t put a pillow over his face. He really was a great and funny guy when he wasn’t being petulant. And that mood wasn’t too often. He handled his disability with far more grace than I think I would.
Ronlyn on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:02 pm #
Karen, if she needs anything, let me know.
I know what it’s like to move to a new place and be all alone. Even if she never needs anything, knowing that there’s a friendly person nearby can help.
Freedom Writer on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:13 pm #
Margaret, my DH can get petulant from time to time, but he is helpful around the house. But what calms my murderous thoughts is the fact that he is real good with dishes and laundry.
Sabrina Jeffries on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:19 pm #
Some of you may have seen this, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever read to describe what happened in my life, and it is SO appropriate for today’s blog. It’s at http://www.aboutautism.org.uk/holland.htm
10 years ago, Nick was entering puberty, and he was hell on wheels. I was afraid of what our future was. I’d just restarted my career and my first book as Sabrina Jeffries had JUST come out (actually, it was Pirate Lord, the one they’re reissuing in September). I was terrified that the book wouldn’t be successful, and then I didn’t know what I’d do, because Nick took most of my energy, and I didn’t see how I could have a fulltime job with him AND write, too, and my husband didn’t make enough to support us both. I worried all the time. I didn’t want to give up writing, but Nick was violent and we had no care at that point and we had no money.
(cont.)
Sabrina Jeffries on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:22 pm #
Now, my life is completely different. I get to write fulltime, and my husband has a great job that COULD support us if necessary. Nick is on his third summer working at a summer job where they think he’s the cat’s meow. Everyone loves him–I actually have three caregivers vying to work with him in the fall, because he’s so lovable and easygoing. We take him everywhere, when 10 years ago, we couldn’t even go on a vacation to the beach with him without a major trauma happening.
I’m losing weight for the first time in years, the career is going very well, and we finally can afford to put money aside for retirement. It’s like night and day. Best of all, I’m not terrified all the time. What a difference ten years makes!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:28 pm #
Freedom, nine pages in that amount of time is excellent. I’m jealous. You GO, girlfriend!!!
Margaret, my bud who was hit with a car is back to his sunny self, too, but oh how he drove his poor wife crazy the first few days. He was cranky and depressed and, while you knew he was in pain and frustrated, sometimes you just want to smack ‘em, the poor boys!
Ronlyn, that’s so nice! I’ll let her know you said that. She just rented an apartment sight unseen in Kirkland. I hope it’s a nice place! I may help her drive up there. If I do, I’ll give you a call and maybe we can meet at a fun restaurant or something.
Ah Freedom, a man who can do laundry and dishes is a keeper! I loooove a man who does housework. It’s just so SEXY! (Or that’s what I tell my Dear Heart, anyway. He doesn’t always believe me, but I do get rapturous when he’s pushing the vacuum cleaner around!)
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:30 pm #
Sabrina, you have overcome so much and with such grace that you set a standard for us all. Goddesses, if you ever meet Sabrina, you’ll know what I mean — she’s the most positive woman I’ve ever met.
I’m glad things are working out for you and the DH and your darling Nick. You guys DESERVE it!
Nicole Jordan on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:33 pm #
Wow, Karen, I sure hope your dh’s friend is okay! And yes, that sort if major moment makes you stop and think hard.
I think it’s cool to see how everyone’s lives have changed over the years. The last ten have been pretty consistant for me — except for a move, which we didn’t expect. But if you had asked me ten years before that, I would have said my life’s expectations were very different.
And Sabrina, I think it’s wonderful that your changes have been so positive!
Oh, and welcome, Elyse! It’s great you came out of lurk mode and we hope you post often.
Sabrina Jeffries on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:35 pm #
Aww, Karen, you’re so sweet! And thanks, I think Nick does deserve a lot of good things. He’s worked hard to get to where he is.
And seriously, y’all, you should read the article above. It’s called “Welcome to Holland,” and it makes me tear up every time I read it!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 3:55 pm #
Nicole, I bet that move was pretty big, though! Moves can sometimes be tough.
Sabrina, I read the article. What a great way to see dealing with a life change like that. Expectations are good, but if you hang on to them too long, you might miss ‘Holland’ and, having been to the real Holland, I can understand how that would be a sad thing indeed
Thanks for sharing, Sabrina!
Karen Rose on 24 Jul 2008 at 4:06 pm #
Sabrina, I remember the Welcome to Holland article when my daughter was born with a disability. It makes me tear up too.
Jessie on 24 Jul 2008 at 4:15 pm #
Thanks for the encouragement, KarenR and KarenH—But, you know, I figured editor would be a lot of people’s dream job. I’m really surprised you’ve never met anyone who wanted to do it. Come to think of it, I’m the only one I know who wants to do it, too.
Paula on 24 Jul 2008 at 4:21 pm #
like Kari I always knew I wanted to get married and have children (I worked as a nanny for 11 years before having my own children. I always wanted to be a stay at home (non working) mum, I achieved 1of the 2 I stayed at home but childminded at the same time as we couldn’t afford for me not to work.
Sabrina I am in awe of you and yours, I cared for twins and one of them was autistic and it was not easy but could be very rewarding at times. That article made me tear up and I have heard of autistic children being described ‘as a book with the wrong index’.
Karen H I was going to say did we miss something as I knew a few weeks ago rings and stones were being talked about but as I scrolled down all became clear. I am late here today as the boys and I have been out for the day and then I went and got my hair cut and the ‘blonde ones’ put back to their natural colour!! But a big CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH.
Karen Hawkins on 24 Jul 2008 at 5:31 pm #
Jessie, I just never thought of it or it would indeed have been my dream job. I wasn’t sure, either, how they ‘made’ editors. Now I see everything from creative writing degrees to plain ole English majors to business majors and on down the line, although some colleges offer it as a major in and of itself. Never used to see that!
Either way, I wish you well! Maybe one day you’ll be in a big bidding war to buy one of us! I looooove bidding wars! Makes the world go around.
Paula, I had my hair done, too! It was a good hair day all around. And thank you for the congrats! We’re very, very happy.
Ronlyn on 24 Jul 2008 at 6:49 pm #
That would be great Karen! Kirkland is a lovely area, I really like it over there. I was just there last weekend with a girlfriend (and the kids of course) and we were watching all the eye candy wandering around. LOL.
Margaret Garland on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:40 pm #
I’ve really enjoyed reading all the best laid plans that you all have talked about today. I’m pretty dull by comparison. 10 years ago I was just 10 years younger. LOL I had already moved to where I am now, I was working part-time for a step-som and quilting. I had no future plans. I know I’ve mentioned before that I’m a good deal older than most of you. 10 years is sort of yesterday to me. *G*
50 years ago, though, I was going to be a journalist. I wanted to be a newspaper reporter. Instead I got married 11 days past my 18th birthday to the practice DH. I seem to have spent the rest of my life raising kids. Mine and theirs. But I wouldn’t have missed a minute even tho some times were scarier than others. All roads lead to here.
Here being a double header softball game this evening. LOL
Louisa Cornell on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:48 pm #
Cail and Lisa H, thank you for your words on drunk drivers. The man who killed my dh had five DUI’s and still had a valid driver’s license. In many European countries ONE drunk driving violation results in the loss of your license for life. You cannot buy a car or own a car. If you are caught driving someone’s car THEY lose their car. I wish they did that here.
Sabrina, your story brought tears to my eyes. Good for you! Life has ways of rewarding you for sticking with the hard stuff. You just have to stick long enough to see it come around! My cousin’s autistic son has taught me some people hear music you and I will never hear, see beauty you and I will never know, and adventure in realms we will never travel.
Julia, I firmly believe God knew exactly where that darling little boy needed to be. I hope he will always know how very lucky he is to have you and Jack London in his life. The difference you make in his life is your gift to him and to everyone who ever meets him. Bless yo
TinaLouiseF on 25 Jul 2008 at 1:38 am #
I never had an idea of a dream job.
I’ve been employed at the county for 7.5 years, currently my goal is to retire after 20 years.
I probably have to do 30 years to hit retirement age.
Karen Hawkins on 25 Jul 2008 at 8:39 am #
Ronlyn, I’ll tell her you said there was eye candy. She’ll be SO happy to hear that!
Margaret, if you’re happy, then you found the right path. That’s the real goal, isn’t it? And it looks/sounds as if you were/are darn good in your role as Uber Mom! HUGS to all the Uber Moms!
Tina, my DH works for his county and it’s good pay for good work with good people. I think he’s right where he wants to be and he certainly seems happy, too! That’s what it’s all about — doing what you enjoy, either at work, or at home, but doing it.
Guys, thanks for sharing all of your dreams/wishes/future hopes with me! This life of ours is a great ride, isn’t it?