You mean you’re telling the TRUTH?
May 27th 2008
Karen RoseOn Writing!
I’ve been reading the news from my most trustworthy news source – the Yahoo! homepage. (Isn’t that where eve
ryone gets their breaking news?) Anyway, one of the stories was about this little girl in West Virginia who got stung by a SCORPION at Wal-Mart. She was picking out a watermelon and apparently the scorpion was a stowaway from Mexico, from whence the melon had come. She’s all right – it was only a little worse than a bee sting. But a SCORPION in Wal-Mart? Who would have thought of that? (Well, maybe Doglady would have, LOL. I’m sure she sees a lot at Wal-Mart.)
Anyway, the girl’s father said he initially didn’t believe his daughter when she said she’d been stung by a scorpion, until he saw the critter scurry under a box. The scorpion was detained by Wal-Mart employees, so the Wal-Mart world can breathe easily tonight.
I had to chuckle at the father’s initial disbelief. I probably wouldn’t have believed my kids either. My kids have told some real whoppers over the years, sometimes just to see if I’ll believe them. DH is the worst of them all. He’ll routinely throw out outrageous statements just to see my eyes roll, but every now and again he throws out one that’s both outrageous and true.
Mr. R’s latest – he told me that the song “I Blame Canada” from the Southpark movie was nominated for an Oscar. I laughed. He said, “No, it’s true.” I said, “You’re lying again.” He got a gleam in his eye. “Wanna bet?” This always makes me wary as DH is not a betting man normally, but he’s an amazing bluffer. Luckily I had my trusty laptop and before placing a bet, I googled the song “I Blame Canada” and he was telling the TRUTH! I was amazed.
One more cute tale for the road. DH’s father was a skilled practical joker – even as a child. 
One morning he excitedly told his parents he’d seen a PENGUIN outside his window! They chuckled indulgently. This was the MD suburbs of DC, not Antartica, after all. But the boy insisted and frowning, the parents sternly told him to stop lying! This went on for a day – until the news reported that a penguin had escaped from a traveling show. Until he died, my father-in-law collected all things penguin.
So have you ever disbelieved a story that turned out to be true? Did you ever get in trouble for telling a whopper that wasn’t a lie?
44 Comments »
44 Responses to “You mean you’re telling the TRUTH?”
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 6:41 am #
Since I’m pretty gullible, I tend to believe what I’m told before thinking about who I’m talking to. I have 4 step-sons, a son-in-law and an adult grandson who are all outrageous in their tales. 2 of them ought to be on the stage. They are not malicious liars. They are funny and especially love to see me bite. You can almost hear a drum roll in the background.
I lived in Dallas, TX on Nov. 22, 1963. It had been raining but the sun came out and it was a lovely day as it can be in TX as that time of year. I was lying across my bed reading a book. What else? My 5 year old DD and a friend came running into the house all out of breath. They told me that President Kennedy had been shot. I got mad and told them that was nothing to be joking about. I really chewed them out. They dragged me to the tv where I was stunned to learn that it was, indeed, the truth and they had taken the president to Parkland Hospital. I barely left the tv for the next 5 days. It was a terrible, terrible day.
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 6:45 am #
We only had b&w tv back in 1963. When I think back to that time, I can only picture it all in the starkness of black and white. I have a few tears right now just thinking of how the seemingly bright promise of those times were destroyed by gunfire. One at a time.
Karen Hawkins on 27 May 2008 at 6:59 am #
Margaret, there is something very personal when a president is attacked like that. I remember how upset I was when Reagan was shot and I hadn’t been a big Reaganite or anything, but oh, I was just so sad!
Karen, I couldn’t believe that about the Blame Canada song! How FUNNY! I love SP, anyway, but now I really love it. And yup, my kids do the same. My son was the worst and still is. He is SUCH a j
I used to drive my kids to school because it gave us an extra hour in the mornings. At a certain point in the drive, my son would say “Mom! There’s a zebra in that field!” It was on a curve, so I could never look, but I’d always patiently say, “Honey, that must be a mule. It’s too cold here for a zebra.”
This went on for months. One day, as we were rounding that curve, I looked up — and darned if there wasn’t a zebra in that field! My son still reminds me of that, though I tell him it’s his fault for teasing me so much that I didn’t believe him when he finally did tell the truth!
Michelle B. on 27 May 2008 at 7:04 am #
When I was in high school (30 years ago!) I had a steady boyfriend from 8th grade until my sophomore year in college. We hung out in the basement at my house a lot and my Mom found in the wash what she thought was a condom. I was grilled, chewed out, lectured and made to feel like a criminal all day. I told my Mom it wasn’t mine and that I really was still a virgin. (I truly was then) My sister is a year behind me in high school, no boyfriends. She comes home that night from working all day at a nursing home and tells my Mom that the “Condom” is hers. It is a finger coat used to give enimas at her job and had been in the pocket of her uniform that Mom had washed.
Emmiebee on 27 May 2008 at 7:11 am #
I am proud to say that I have been the CAUSE of someone’s strange encounters! When my brother and I were just little peanuts, we would drive my mother nuts by making “Forts” in the paper products aisle in the grocery store- i.e. hiding behind the paper towels until she had to start pulling them from the shelves, yelling “come out of there”, receiving questioning looks from customers and employees alike. But one time, a little girl pulled a package of TP off the shelf, and cried out “Mommy! There are little people in the toiet paper!” Her mother draged her away and told her to stop telling lies. We lived off of that one for weeks!
-Emmiebee, Paper Products Gnome
cail on 27 May 2008 at 7:17 am #
you know, i can’t think of anytime i got caught in something like that. i’ve never been much of a prankster and can’t lie very well to ppl who know me.
that being said, my dad and i alway tell my mom that we saw a moose when we go skiing without her. she loves the idea of seeing a moose and likes harder trails than we do so we’re never together on the x-country trails. she gets so sad every time, but realizes a few min later that we’re kidding.
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 7:43 am #
Margaret – I don’t remember Kennedy being shot (wasn’t born quite yet), but like KarenH, I do remember Reagan being shot. I heard about it in Spanish class and at first we didn’t believe. It was a very sad, scary day.
Karen H – how hilarious about the zebra! There is a farm along I-75 up by Ocala that has a zebra. THe first time DH told the kids they laughed at him, LOL.
DH would tell the kids outrageous things and when they were little, they’d look at me suspiciously. THen I’d shake my head and they knew he was kidding. I remember the day oldest said with a smirk, “I figured that out myself, Mom.” She was six. I think that was the day she started to grow up.
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 7:52 am #
Emmibee – I’m laughing. How funny! I bet that kid has therapy bills they’d like to send you.
Karen Hawkins on 27 May 2008 at 7:52 am #
KarenR, I always did the same thing for my kids — gave them a ‘reality check’ when their dad would tease them. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, he’d go on and on (sometimes for days) until they were in agonies, not sure what was what. I felt a little silly breaking his pretend bubbles, but I tried not to do it tooooo soon. It’s good to keep them guessing for a little while!
Jessie on 27 May 2008 at 8:01 am #
Margaret, I’m so gullible, too. Almost anything someone tells me, I’ll believe it. I just don’t expect people to lie to me.
One thing I didn’t believe, though, was when Heath Ledger died. My roommate came in and told me, but I thought it was only one of those rumors that always goes around about celebrities dying. But no, it wasn’t. It was a sad thing.
KarenR- My first glance at your blog this morning prepared me for a completely different topic. Earlier, I read a little blurb about Hillary Duff’s new movie, “War, Inc.” In it, she pleasures herself with a scorpion. I don’t know how that works, but it freaked me out, and it was all I could think about when I saw your blog.
Freshechelle on 27 May 2008 at 8:47 am #
I can’t recall a situation you’ve asked for but it brings to mind the reverse, falling very hard for a joke. We went to see Damn Yankees on B’way just to see Bebe Neuwirth live. We had been joking for weeks before the show that there would be an announcement “due to illness, Miss Neuwirth is unable to perform, tonight in the role of Lola Miss Ruth Buzzi”. ha ha ha. We must have made this joke 10 times.
At the theatre, my sister and I settled into our seats while the guys are being real gentlement taking care of our coats, etc. We finally get our Playbills and there’s an insert announcing Bebe won’t perform, but instead we’ll see Susan Anton. We grouse, we grumble, we whine to the strangers sitting next to us. This goes on for at least 10 minutes. We discuss getting a refund, etc.
A friend who hadn’t even joined us had created the inserts at home and gave them to the guys to set us up. It was the most well thought out joke I’d even been the victim of.
Claudia Dain on 27 May 2008 at 8:51 am #
Jessie, I saw that clip with Hillary Duff and she said in an interview that it was a REAL scorpion. Why?
Why????
Certainly there must be Scorpion Doubles in Hollywood for this sort of work.
If there was a story I would have a hard time believing it would be that one. “Yeah, in this movie, Hillary Duff drops a live scorpion down her pants at a club in an effort to turn on John Cusack.”
Who wrote that scene? That’s what I want to know.
Karen Hawkins on 27 May 2008 at 9:28 am #
I just saw that clip and now I don’t want see the movie.
Thought 1: Cruelty to scorpions. I’m no scorpion lover (they are all over North GA and their sting is MUCH worse than a bee’s — my ex’s toe turned completely black when he put his shoes on w/o shaking them out) but what on earth did that scorpion DO to deserve THAT?
Thought #2: Remember when Hillary Duff played nice parts? The ole SCANK-O-METER just went right off the scale. I mean, all that writhing just to get attention. It was kind o sad. I’m sure she wants to get rid of the goody-two-shoes image, but did she have to zip from Sweet Thing to Paris Slut Ho Wannabe all in one movie?
Thought #3: Is there ANY reason to see this movie now? I love John Cusack and he has the sexiest voice, but he seemed sort of pathetic and old leering at Hillary Duff like that. He’s 42 and she’s 20. A little Lolita-ish for me.
Ok, maybe it’s a good movie and I shouldn’t judge it by one scene, but . . . ew.
RachelG on 27 May 2008 at 9:37 am #
I saw a camel running around last summer. Which in Idaho is weird.
My neighbor across the street in very dramatic. She over exaggerates everything and has been known to tell a few fibs. So, when she rushed over to my house to tell me she’d just see a guy stabbed in the head at the mall, I didn’t believe her. But a few hours later I flipped on the news and it was true.
rachelg
doglady on 27 May 2008 at 9:40 am #
Trust me, Karen, when the scene is like that you CAN judge the whole movie! I can’t believe John Cusack would lower himself to be in something like that. And yes no scorpion deserves that!
Michelle B and Emmibee, I am still laughing at your stories! Too funny for words!
No scorpions at our Wal-Mart, but we have had a few snakes in the garden center. As I am considered the resident snake expert they usually call me to remove it. So far no poisonous snakes. Except for certain members of management!
Hmm. I need to think about this one. My brothers and I were always trying to get each other with whopper lies. Let me see if I can drag one up from the leaky vault that is my memory!
Claudia Dain on 27 May 2008 at 10:07 am #
In defense of John Cusack (my secret love…don’t tell Hugh), in the scene Hillary is trying to get John’s attention by the Scorpion Thing, but he’s disgusted by it. Not turned on. She plays a singer from the old Eastern Block and he’s a record producer or promoter or something. She wants out and she thinks he’s her ticket. He’s only interested in music, not desperate girls trying to use sex to get out.
Or at least that’s how Hillary described it in the interview when she set up the teaser.
jessie on 27 May 2008 at 10:08 am #
Wow. I hadn’t seen the clip before, just read about it. That is disturbing! But, you know, at least it’s only a movie, and she’s not doing such creepy, scandalous things in real life like some of the other starlets.
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 10:53 am #
Ewwwww. Sorry, Claudia, I’m still grossed out, even with your explanation, although I guess John C rises a bit in my eyes. I’ve always liked him in movies, ever since he did BETTER OFF DEAD. Cute.
As for Hillary Duff, what’s up with these good girls gone wild??
Ewwwww.
Doglady, I’m glad you are the resident snake expert. I think if I saw a snake at Wal-Mart, I’d run and never come back.
Kay on 27 May 2008 at 11:42 am #
What funny stories. I love the idea of a penguin running around Maryland.
The scorpion is a lot scarier. A friend of ours went on a diving trip to Mexico. When she was packing up her gear, a scorpion crawled out. Thank goodness s he didn’t get stung.
I’m in Vegas, so if I hear a wild story this week, I’ll believe it. This is a strange place.
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 11:59 am #
Have fun in Vegas, Kay!!
Claudia Dain on 27 May 2008 at 12:22 pm #
Hey, Karen, of course you’re grossed out! It’s gross and icky! But I just wanted to make sure John didn’t come off looking skanky. He was as grossed out by the scorpion in the pants as *we* are. He’s one of us. *G*
Karen Hawkins on 27 May 2008 at 12:54 pm #
Whew! I’m glad to hear John’s character in the movie isn’t a dirty old man.
Btw, did you guys know he was the voice of the prince in Anastasia? If you ever get to see that movie again, close your eyes and just listen to him talk. He has THE sexiest voice EVER.
EVER.
I think I need to see this movie again right now!
Sheridan LA on 27 May 2008 at 1:09 pm #
So my dad is the ultimate in feeding bull.. err… nonsensical answers.. to the point that not only am I not that gullible, but I am fabulous at research because I would look up the answers to things when there was the slightest whiff of BS in the air. I still ask him if his answer is something I need to Google (and do anyway.. thank goodness for Google. makes those things so much easier to verify)
Course, this also means that the apple does not fall far from the tree and I am oh-so-inclined to do the same to others who might be a wee bit gullible.. it is a family trait.. what can i say? :/
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 1:35 pm #
Good grief! My Internet service went down about 9am and I am just not coming back online. Only to read about Hillary’s scorpion. OMG! If it was a real one, they must have removed the stinger. Obviously, the twit never got stung. I can’t imagine a worse place for a scorpion sting. Ouch!
I didn’t expect many, if any, of you young’ns would remember the Kennedy assasination. I had just moved to Dallas from Houston a few months before to escape stalker XDH. Another story altogether. I still have the Life magazine and all the Dallas newspapers from then. There was a time when I subscribed to both of the newspapers there. In Lancaster, there are 3 papers but they are owned by the same company and are, essentially, the same paper. I get my news off the Internet now. When it’s running, that is.
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 1:40 pm #
BTW, tomorrow is my hit-it-big-day. Rachel’s “Not Another Bad Date”, Julia Quinn’s “The Lost Duke of Wyndham” and Nora Roberts’s “High Noon” are due to arrive. According to the UPS tracking system, they are all in transit. I may have to put a chair out on the porch so I can see the USP man when he drives up. Altho, I can hear his big brown truck just fine. I’ll have my pocket knife in hand so I can rip open those pesky boxes.
Internet back up? Check
New books? Check
Feeling better? Double check
Hooray!!!!
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 1:50 pm #
Speaking of animals in odd places. DD, GD and I were travelling about 1 1/2 hr. down to Maryland for a rugby tournament back in early April. They all accuse me of noticing everything. And they are right. I was driving. Olivia was plugged into her iPod and cell phone in the back seat. Daughter was spacing out in the passenger seat.
I looked over to the right and said “Look at that herd of buffalo over there!” Neither one turned a head. Just sort of uh huh.
I pulled over to take pictures and shocked them both when there actually were buffalo on a peaceful, green hillside in southern PA. Almost as odd as the penguin. LOL
I haven’t seen any giraffes yet.
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 1:51 pm #
Seconding Karen H – I’m glad John C isn’t a lech. I didn’t know he was the prince in Anastasia. I loved that movie. I’m going back to listen again.
Karen Hawkins on 27 May 2008 at 1:54 pm #
i want to see a giraffe.
I also want to see Margaret bolt off her rocker on her front porch and ambush the UPS man while he’s trying to find her package in the back of his truck. She’ll push him aside, yell “I’LL FIND IT!”, sniff once, and dive into the pile of packages only to emerge triumphant, waving her prize.
That’s what I think will happen, anyway. Heh!
Sheridan LA on 27 May 2008 at 1:54 pm #
just remember to step outside for a bit of sun during your Fabulous New Release Marathon.
I intend to head to the bookstore tonight to pick up Rachel’s new one.. I think I have the Julia Quinn coming next week or the week after.. then the new JR Ward book.. and I ordered the Indiana Jones trilogy to rewatch before I see the new one.. I know how I am spending my birfday weekend…. intimately engaged with some of my fave authors.
Paula on 27 May 2008 at 1:56 pm #
Today I took the boys to London (their first time) and as we were getting ready to go and wait for the bus they run back indoors shouting ‘there is a duck on the drive’ of course I tell them not to be silly. Anyway I went out and Blow me down there was a duck on the drive! Where it had come from I don’t know.
BTW Karen R on the underground there are adverts up for Nothing to Fear (which has only just come out here in p/b) and across the corner it says also Scream For Me in h/b. What made me chuckle was that you give new meanings to suspense and murder in your books!!LOL
Sheridan LA on 27 May 2008 at 2:20 pm #
Karen, I’ll bring popcorn for the Margaret-show.. I can see that happening as well.
Nicole Jordan on 27 May 2008 at 2:36 pm #
Those are some funny stories, goddesses!
I tend to be the gullible type. Folks have gotten me a lot more than I’ve gotten them.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 2:44 pm #
what great stories!
I got into trouble every Sept with my dad once I got to high school. I have anxiety issues… when I’m nervous about new situations, I get feeling barfy. Well this in my dad’s view translated to “she’s knocked up”.
Who could blame him, five daughters- the man would worry.
I would then get very angry and tell him no, I just don’t like school, I hadn’t even had sex yet.
I suppose it IS a bad story to tell- ironically, I did get pregnant- on my 21st birthday no less. But my twins are happy and healthy and with great parents, so that was meant to be.?
Margaret Garland on 27 May 2008 at 4:09 pm #
I’m torn about the UPS man bringing my books. I really do want to dive it and find my books quickly. Who knows? I might find somebody else’s to nab.
The thing is my regular UPS man is a stud muffin and could qualify for a Sunday’s FROS. I just can never count on him showing up. There’s another guy who’s far from a muffin of any sort and a woman. She’s friendly but not my type.
Sheridan, while I was laid up imitating a mushroom Sun/Mon, it got to be summertime out there! I went to the library a bit ago and had to crank the a/c on high. I thought I told somebody to keep the humidity. Did she listen to me? Nooooo. I guess summer is officially here.
BTW, my library books are knitting ones. Not romance. You all think you are so darned funny.
Sheridan LA on 27 May 2008 at 4:54 pm #
mmm cute UPS guys. Gotta love em.
When I lived in colder states, it was always my sign of spring when the brown UPS shorts came back out
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 5:23 pm #
awww, we don’t have cute ups anything in my province/city.
We have really cute water delivery guys though! and my friend drools over the cute officers that work in her building. I visited her last week and stopped talking when I saw one hunky guy head up the escalator. I had my camera in my bag, but could not bring myself to run after him, get ahead, and take a pic.
sigh
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 5:33 pm #
oh yes,
Karen R, welcome to facebook…it can be a fun time!
Kim on 27 May 2008 at 5:36 pm #
Woohoo!! Like Margaret I’ve been without internet FOR TWO DAYS! I spent all day cursing Verizon and their stupid tech support. UGH. I missed yous guys!
Okay, I shouldn’t share this story because. Well, because it doesn’t portray me in the best light. LOL A few years ago two co-workers were talking about “wild turkeys”. I never heard of wild turkeys. Turkeys are farm animals to me. This went on for a couple weeks. I just couldn’t believe these birds roamed wild. LOL Until one day driving home and I saw a flock of them. Doh!
As far as the Hilary Duff/John Cusack movie. How could that be attractive or seductive. What man would want to follow a scorpion? Sheesh.
Sheridan LA on 27 May 2008 at 5:51 pm #
So, I just watched the trailer for the Cusack film.. is it bad that I want to see it?
course, trailers don’t mean squat, depends on the talents of the editors putting them together…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sfout_rgPSA
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 6:17 pm #
LOL! Kim!
Wild Turkey- when I hear that I don’t think of turkey the bird, I think of the booze.
I saw that little clip too. I think John Cusack is sweet- did anyone see Martian Child? amazing!
I think I need to see the whole trailer, I only saw the short scorpian clip…off I go
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 6:23 pm #
ok Sheridan LA, you and I will go see it…It looks good to me! I like black humour like that. Nobody does deadpan like John Cusack!
Karen Rose on 27 May 2008 at 7:45 pm #
Thanks, Paula – my pub house sent me one of the posters – it’s enormous!
Kathy – thanks for the Facebook welcome!
cail on 27 May 2008 at 8:18 pm #
i love John Cusak in Anastasia. I watched it recently actually, and excitedly told my crew that it was John and Meg Ryan. I also love Hank Azaria as Bartok.
You guys are on facebook? i’m going to do some facebook stalking now…
Kathy/Cookiedough on 27 May 2008 at 9:37 pm #
I love facebook…spend WAY too much time prowling around.