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WOOHOO, it’s the annual Cover Contest over at the Cover Cafe!!

May 1st 2008Karen Hawkins
Karen HawkinsOn Writing!

During the entire writing and publication process, there’s only one part that requires almost no work from the author and is just plain ole fun . . . sometimes. That part is the development of the title and cover, both of which come from a mysterious mechanism known as The Cover Conference.

It’s fun if you get a great title and an eye catching cover. It’s not so much fun if you find out they want to name your book THE GRANNY WHO LOVED ME and the art department is ‘excited’ about the possibility of using ‘Depends’ on the cover.

I’ve been very fortunate in the covers and titles I’ve gotten. VERY fortunate. More fortunate than, say, these poor authors . . .

This is probably a great anthology. It’s probably witty and humorous and well-written . . . but somehow, somewhere, someone thought the title BIG SPANKABLE ASSES would make the book leap off the shelf.

It certainly caught my attention. Due to my family’s unfortunate allergy to chocolate, desserts, and food which causes various parts of our bodies to swell to ginormous sizes, I’ve seen a lot of big asses in my life (and some spankable ones, too, but that’s another story). So I’m something of a ’spankable ass expert’. As such, I have to say that the one on this cover . . . nuh uh. That ain’t ‘big.’

In fact, I think it’s actually quite petite. Perhaps they should have called this book TINY SPANKABLE ASSES. At least then it would have been anatomically correct.

Just sayin’.

Ok, if you’re through admiring that Big (Tiny) Spankable Ass, go vote in the cover contest and let us know which covers you loved and hated. By the way, you just might see some of your goddesses listed on the pages and, just for the record, we ALL have BIG SPANKABLE ASSES.

67 Comments »

67 Responses to “WOOHOO, it’s the annual Cover Contest over at the Cover Cafe!!”

  1. Sabrina Jeffries on 01 May 2008 at 4:53 am #

    I just finished voting! Why I’m UP at this ungodly hour is another story (it really sucks to get to a certain age, let me tell you). But hey, me and the birds and the crickets are just laughing our spankable arses off. And feeling very, very sorry for these authors.

    In the spirit of camaraderie, here is what I consider to be MY worst cover:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-images/0440213517/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_1?ie=UTF8&index=1#gallery

    The guy looked like he was dying and the angle was very weird.

    But for the most part, I have been very lucky with covers.

  2. Kathy/Cookiedough on 01 May 2008 at 5:35 am #

    Sabrina- was it really 4:53 am like the time ticker says up there? if so, I feel for ya! I blame my cat for waking me up at 6.
    Some of the worst covers made me laugh so hard, and I’m glad none of the Goddesses were listed!!!

  3. Sabrina Jeffries on 01 May 2008 at 5:56 am #

    Kathy, the time stamp is correct. Actually, I woke up at 4 and couldn’t go back to sleep. After going to bed at midnight.

    Groan.

  4. Margaret Garland on 01 May 2008 at 6:18 am #

    That was hard in some cases! Especially when more than one Goddess was nominated.

    The Worst covers were the most fun, of course. I voted for one of the Harlequin Romance books. It didn’t matter which one as I hate them equally. I can’t stand any of the new look that Harlequin/Silhoutte has come out with and can’t wait for them to change again. Maybe it because they are photographs of people who would look better demonstrating refrigerators back in the 50’s. I hate them, I tell you!

    I was happy to see that none of the Godesses or other favorite authors were in the Worst category. I bleed for anyone whose hard work gets destroyed by the art department.

  5. Margaret Garland on 01 May 2008 at 6:30 am #

    When I think of worst covers, my mind always jumps to poor Suzanne Brockmann’s “Get Lucky”. I loved the Tall, Dark & Dangerous series. She made the Navy Seal a most popular group. Lucky was supposed to be a red-hot chick magnet. You’d never know from this old cover.

    At least, Suzanne had a great sense of humor about the cover and even has a couple of pages on her web site devoted to it.

    http://www.suzannebrockmann.com/get_lucky.htm
    http://www.suzannebrockmann.com/Lucky_Cover.htm

  6. Margaret Garland on 01 May 2008 at 6:31 am #

    Sabrina, I don’t know where you live but you could have called me for a chat. LOL I’ve been awake since 3am EDT. I only sleep in in 2-3 hour spurts. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to get a good night’s sleep.

  7. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 6:45 am #

    Sabrina! You could have called me, too! I ALWAYS wake up at 4, but I try to go back to sleep. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. When I can’t, I schedule a little hour long writer’s nap in the middle of the day.

    My daughter the college student, meanwhile, never seems to sleep at all. She goes to bed late, gets up early, and runs and runs all day. I don’t know how she does it.

    Margaret, I think the hairstyles of the men on some of the Harlequins look REALLY dated. Do you think they’re recycling art from old books? I know that sometimes happens.

  8. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 6:47 am #

    Kathy, the goddesses are glad none of their books are on there, too! I think one of my early books was listed on the Worst Cover page years and years ago. I’m not completely sure. If it wasn’t, it deserved to be!

  9. Lisa H on 01 May 2008 at 7:05 am #

    I must truly be a goddess…I have a ginormous spankable ass! I don’t mind it so much as my husband actually likes it, its my ginormous spankable gut I’m not so pleased about!

  10. Sabrina Jeffries on 01 May 2008 at 7:05 am #

    Was that the one with the guy in the sling? I think I remember that!

    Yes, well, all you early birds are welcome to early morning. As pretty as it is, I like to get my 7-8 hours and lately it just isn’t happening. Grrr. And I’ve practically given up caffeine, too! Yet still, the not sleeping happens.

    Ah well, off to write. Maybe I’ll actually get some work done. *G*

  11. Margaret Garland on 01 May 2008 at 7:06 am #

    Karen, I’m not sure about the recycling. I think they are trying to make them look more modern nad have failed miserably. They just depress me and I don’t want to read them.
    When I first started reading romance novels, it was the Silhouette Special Edition that grabbed me. I even subscribed to get the whole monthly series. It didn’t take me long to realize I didn’t enjoy them all equally and dropped the subscription. Then, I discovered the stand alone books of the type that you all write and, slowly, stopped reading the category ones. I still buy one occasionally but they just don’t hold my interest anymore.
    Especially the ones like Blaze where people start having sex on page 3. “How do you do? Let’s get naked and have sex.” “OK”

    I used to be like your daughter when I was her age. I think it has something to do with being to young to appreciate it. LOL

  12. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 7:39 am #

    Sabrina, your cover is groovy, baby! Yet I know it wasn’t released in that decade. Maybe it’s recycled, too? And yes, my horrible cover was The Man In The Sling. I didn’t mind him being in a sling, it was his expression that made it so odd.

    LisaH, spankable is delish! Tell your husband we are all giving him big Man Credits for appreciating true womanly beauty!

    Btw, my doctor told me to take a half dose of benedryl before bedtime whenever I think I might not sleep well and it works like a charm. He said 1) it has a relaxing property so you’ll sleep deeper, and 2) a lot of people don’t sleep well because when they go horizontal, their sinuses kick up and they don’t breathe as well as they should and so they wake themselves up snoring or sputtering. Of course, I’m not on any other medication, so if you want to try this, check with your doctor and see what he says, but it has helped me. I only take one every once in a while, but it’s reduced the number of 4 a.m. wake-ups!

  13. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 7:45 am #

    Margaret, I read some of the Harlequins and, like you, I’m selective. I cut my reading eye teeth on these so I have a soft spot for them now. It’s nice once in a while to have a shorter book, especially if I’m crazy busy, too. And I love the absolute simplicity of the story.

    Personally, i think it’s harder to write short than to write long. When you write longer books, you have all that delicious time to develop your characters and their story arcs. But with such a short page count, every single word has to count NOW. That’d be tough! I’ve written a few anthologies and they take a good bit of time just to keep them the right page length. I love them, too, though. Sometimes I’m just in the mood for shorter and swfiter stories.

  14. SuzyQ on 01 May 2008 at 7:56 am #

    Yes, I admit it, I have a BSA! That cover is just too funny - who came up with that title? I almost spewed my coffee over my keyboard when I brought up the page this morning. After looking at some of the other worst covers, Kink comes pretty close. I mean really, to put a crotch on the cover??

    Congrats to KarenH and Sabrina for their covers. I’m taking bribes, ya know ;)

  15. Ellen on 01 May 2008 at 8:04 am #

    That’s right, ladies. I am sitting here all quiet and smug knowing that my ass is truly the most ginormous of all the goddesses. However, the aftershock of spanking it might cause the Richter scale to max out at 10.

    As for the ass on that cover…my Barbie Doll’s butt is bigger than that.

  16. Gannon on 01 May 2008 at 8:29 am #

    <>

    Lisa, we must be twins!!! Sounds just like me. :)

    If that woman on the cover has a BIG ass, I’d hate to see what they’d call mine!!

  17. Kathy/Cookiedough on 01 May 2008 at 8:31 am #

    My vote on the worst cover was for the naked couple. that just can’t be a mere romance. my inner prude comes out as I get older, but I’d be embarrassed at the store buying it, let alone be seen reading it.
    As for sleeping, there is nothing like a good dose of Benedryll to get me happily off to la la land. night terrors get worse if I don’t get into deep sleep. My doctor told me if you don’t get enough REM sleep, you can have a psychotic episode- nice thing to tell a patient who already worries she’s not getting enough sleep!
    He never did say how long you could go before said episode. I’m hoping a really long time

  18. KariE on 01 May 2008 at 8:51 am #

    –My doctor told me if you don’t get enough REM sleep, you can have a psychotic episode

    That explains SOOooooo much.

    I voted! I voted!! I hope voting in November is that easy. :P

    I’ve seen some eye catching covers from our Goddesses this year. I think I will have to go nominate them.

    It would be interesting to see what demographic they were tring to reach with some of those covers and titles. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

    It’s too bad the authors don’t get a “yeah” or “nay” say in that part of the book process. I can only imagine how it would affect a new/up and coming author. Crappy cover = crappy sales?? I’m glad I’m open minded enough to know that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. ;)

  19. PJ on 01 May 2008 at 9:35 am #

    I voted! I felt so bad for those authors who got stuck with the “worst of” covers. How can you authors pour everything you have into your stories and then turn them over to art departments, some of whom obviously have no clue? You’re much stronger than I would be!

    On the flip side, there were some truly beautiful covers in the other categories!

  20. KariE on 01 May 2008 at 9:38 am #

    Just to clarify, I didn’t mean that it explained a lot about you, Kathy, I meant me and the people in my life. We are a bunch of sleep deprived folk down here, with ……intersting personalitlies. Good to know there might be a relation to the two. :)

  21. Emmiebee on 01 May 2008 at 10:26 am #

    Well, Big Spankable Asses looks like false advertising to me. More like “Teeny Tiny Tushie Team” or “Flat and White, But Still Tight”. Not as eye popping on a bookshelf, but hey- more accurate! As an unfortunate member of the “so what is holding your pants up, you have no ass” club, I have a severe case of Goddess Hiney Envy. Maybe someone can be a deriere donor.

    As to those poor books in the “Worst Cover” category- ouch! I think that there should be a fund to help support authors with wonderful books that have gotten stuck with ugly or off-putting titles or covers. As in “ten cents of your book purchace will go towards the Lame-Ass-Covers for Cash Fund- it’s not their fault”.

    -Emmiebee, Flattie Pattie

  22. Claudia Dain on 01 May 2008 at 10:27 am #

    I’m so upset! I can’t vote! Every time I post my choice and hit submit, I get kicked out of the system. Is there some trick to this voting thing?

  23. Nicole Jordan on 01 May 2008 at 10:31 am #

    Oh, my word, what an awful title!

    I feel so sorry for authors who get horrible covers and titles. I don’t think I could bring myself to vote for that worst cover category since I feel their pain too much.

    But I do love seeing the beautiful artwork for the other categories.

    In fact, all of my Notorius Series books were nominated in the 2-cover category in past years, and one of them won.

  24. SuzyQ on 01 May 2008 at 10:33 am #

    Claudia - you have to put in your name and email in order to vote. They don’t discriminate authors from voting - do they?

  25. Claudia Dain on 01 May 2008 at 10:35 am #

    I did, SuzyQ, I did! I voted, put in my info, hit submit…and got tossed out! Sob! I want to look at covers and vote!!!!

  26. Kim on 01 May 2008 at 11:16 am #

    O.M.G. What marketing dept could possibly think that would be a good title OR cover? As a good friend says, “Crack is never good. NEVER!” and that cover is showing a whole lot more than crack. geez.

    And doesn’t it look like she had butt implants? I’m just sayin, no ass I ever saw was that perky and shiny. Not that I’ve seen that many or anything.

    Kim, stopping now

  27. Kim on 01 May 2008 at 11:17 am #

    Claudia–its not you! They have a notice up that their server is getting overloaded. That if you get an error message to try again later.

  28. SuzyQ on 01 May 2008 at 11:44 am #

    Ha! It’s probably overloaded cause we’re all on it! LOL!

  29. dbrown3400 on 01 May 2008 at 11:46 am #

    Claudia, I’ve been trying to vote, too, and have run into the server overload problem. Will try again later.

    I have some good news to share, OT from BSA. I’m a grandmother for the first time. My granddaughter was born Monday, healthy and beautiful — Leia Bailey Bloom. I’ve decided to call her Bailey as that was my name of choice.
    *g* I’m going to Miami to see her on the 12th and can’t wait.

    Back to the ballot box.

    Donna

  30. amy1242 on 01 May 2008 at 11:47 am #

    Claudia, I haven’t been able to vote either, for the same reason. I did look at all the covers and I have my voting picks ready to go for when I CAN get on to vote. I remember doing this last year too. You’d think the cover art departments would take a lesson from this process and learn. Wasn’t there a greenish space guy in last years picks? And what’s up with all the naked people this year?

  31. Kathy/Cookiedough on 01 May 2008 at 11:48 am #

    -That explains SOOooooo much.

    Kari- I snorted with laughter, didn’t take offense if you meant me anyway- it explains alot about me too!!
    muwhahahahaha
    Kim! Crack is never good! so true!!! lol!

  32. amy1242 on 01 May 2008 at 11:49 am #

    Congrat’s Donna!! I’m sure little Bailey will be spoiled continually during your visit! Have fun with her!

  33. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 11:49 am #

    Kim, ‘crack is never good. NEVER!’ — I’m going to embroider this on a pillow and send it your way!

    Claudia, they just opened the contest, so they’re probably getting slammed. I’m sure I’m not the only one who had to look at the BSA category.

    Actually, authors do get a little input with some publishers, though not all. Some publishers ask for ’suggestions.’ Some suggestions take and some don’t. And if the cover is truly horrible, sometimes an author’s agent can step in and get some changes done. Personally, I’ve been very fortunate and usually have very few suggestions to make, myself, but then I’ve been blessed with great publishing companies who have had excellent art staff.

  34. SuzyQ on 01 May 2008 at 11:56 am #

    Congratulations Donna!!!!

  35. KariE on 01 May 2008 at 12:14 pm #

    Contrats, Donna!! Coming from a fellow taurus, Welcome to the world Baby Bailey (It has a cute ring to it)!!

  36. Margaret Garland on 01 May 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    After taking another look at the spankable (not) ass, I’m of the opinion that her butt is made of plastic. Can you botox a butt? Maybe she can be spanked because she’d never feel it.

    Frankly, I’ve never understood why being beaten would be a turn on to anyone. Yuck!

    Emmiebee, I’d be very please to donate some of my south end to you. Take a bunch. I’ll never miss it.

    Donna, congratulations on the 1st gk and what a lovely name she has. I love the name Bailey. In fact, her whole name just flows beautifully.

  37. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    OOOOH, I somehow missed Donna’s announcement!. Sorry, m’dear and many, many congrats! Please bring us back some pictures!

  38. Meg on 01 May 2008 at 1:04 pm #

    Add me to the list of those unable to vote so far. UUGGHH!! I will definately be going back later.

    And I think it is just terrible that the author has no say in the title or cover art! I mean, at least to be able to approve or disapprove what’s been suggested would be nice.

  39. Ellen on 01 May 2008 at 1:06 pm #

    Was Whitney Houston the first to say “Crack is Never Good?” just askin…

  40. Ellen on 01 May 2008 at 1:12 pm #

    Finally…a chance to do something noble. Emmiebee, I am going to find my organ donor card and check off my ass. When I die, I will go happy knowing that ten or so flat backed women will benefit from my ginormous behind.

    Besides, I think it is only right that I erase the check mark next to liver. I am not a monster.

    HUGE congrats to Donna. I can’t wait for my first grandchild.

  41. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 1:24 pm #

    Lol! Ellen, you are have the most generous heart! That’s so sweet of you to watch out for poor Emmiebee!

    Sorry they’re having server issues at the contest. Last year, it froze up now and then, but I don’t think I tried to vote the first day.

    Btw, weren’t the historical fiction covers interesting? They’re dramatic without being necessarily romantic in nature. I think the prettiest were the historical romance section, but then I’m probably prejudiced. A little. :)

  42. Claudia Dain on 01 May 2008 at 1:36 pm #

    Donna, congrats on your granddaughter!! What a thrill. I can’t wait to be a grandmother; the word on the street is that it’s way cooler than being a mom.

    Suzie, how does being an aunt crack up? More fun than mommyhood?

    Oops, I said “crack”.

  43. Emmiebee on 01 May 2008 at 1:42 pm #

    Whoohoo- someday I, too, could be Bootylicious! Margaret and Ellen, if you see a skinny-rumped chickie following you, oogling your beautiful & voluptuous figures, just ignore her when she murmurs “yes, my precious, it will be mine.” Seriously, it’s just me.
    -EB

  44. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 2:03 pm #

    Claudia, you crack me up! OOPS, I said ‘crack,’ too.

    Emmiebee, I can SO picture that, and see Ellen and Margaret giggling, too! Thanks for the laugh!

  45. Ellen on 01 May 2008 at 2:36 pm #

    Oh dear, Emmie. I didn’t realize it was so serious. You have a butt like Sméagol? That’s it. I’m not waiting till death to help this cause. Call the transplant surgeon…we are going to make history.

    Some would say we are cracked (giggle) in the head, but to hell with those naysayers. My new mantra is…

    Baby got back…Baby give back!

  46. stephers on 01 May 2008 at 2:58 pm #

    Upon first seeing that cover, I thought “wait, is that supposed to be an oxymoron?” Because I have a BSA and it doesn’t look anything like that cover.

  47. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 3:01 pm #

    Ellen, it’ll be the first emergency ass-plant in the history of civilization!

    Hmmm. Stephers, do you think it is irony? I didn’t think about that, but . . . it would work!

  48. Ellen on 01 May 2008 at 3:05 pm #

    LMBSAO, Karen.

  49. KariE on 01 May 2008 at 3:53 pm #

    I wondered when someone was going to say Baby Got Back.

    The ass-plant makes me think of that scene from Saving Silverman and his ass-plants. HAhahaha

    I’m glad this blog has made me crack a smile during this dull day.

    You all are too funny!

  50. Suzanne Enoch on 01 May 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    Karen, I liked your “One Lucky Lord” cover. It was …cute. *g*

    I’ve had great luck with covers, though I wish that the pair of legs on the front of “Flirting with Danger” hadn’t been Marge Simpson yellow.

  51. Lisa H on 01 May 2008 at 4:11 pm #

    Just enjoying all these posts today. ACtually the Big Spankable ASs Cover’s photo didn’t offend me as much as the title—Not one, not two, but three stories about Big Spankable Asses? Is this book for women? Now how about Big Spankable Penis’ (is the plural peni?) Thats a book I might actually purchase! :)

  52. Lorena on 01 May 2008 at 5:20 pm #

    Lisa H — now doesn’t that just bring up (er…) an interesting thought or two.

    SuzyQ — I agree. I had to think before I voted between those two, and now I can’t remember what I voted for!

    I’ll admit, as a reader, I like covers that give me an idea what to expect–in mood, at least. Look at KarenH’s covers, or Rachel’s, for example–you just know there’s going to be something inside to make you smile. Besides the hunky heroes, I mean …

  53. Kathy/Cookiedough on 01 May 2008 at 5:25 pm #

    congrats Donna! take lots of pictures!

  54. Kim on 01 May 2008 at 5:29 pm #

    >>>>>Kim, ‘crack is never good. NEVER!’ — I’m going to embroider this on a pillow and send it your way!

    I’m holding you to that, K-Hawk! Just don’t put a picture of the crack on there. ewww! That’s not your grannies needlepoint. HA!

    Did Lisa just say peni?!!?!?!

    Yay Donna!! Congratulations!

  55. TinaLouiseF on 01 May 2008 at 6:08 pm #

    For Worst Cover, I voted for Kink.

  56. Laura on 01 May 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    congrats Donna!

  57. amy1242 on 01 May 2008 at 6:17 pm #

    Kim, Lisa did indeed say peni!!!! I love this blog!!!!!

  58. Claudia Dain on 01 May 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    I voted! I voted! I’m so excited.

    I’m easily amused.

  59. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 7:14 pm #

    It’s a ’spankable peni!” sort of day — BWHAHAHAHAHA! You guys are the best!

    No wonder this blog is blocked on my step daughter’s child restricted aol! But that works for me — I don’t mind keeping our sand box exclusive to Big Girls Only. And by ‘big,’ I mean adult and willing to take a joke.

    TinaL, the KINK cover was pretty tasteless.

    Btw, goddesses, which cover DID you guys think was worst? Even if the server wouldn’t let you vote?

  60. TinaLouiseF on 01 May 2008 at 7:17 pm #

    Most of the covers were hard to see.
    I voted in two sections.
    The authors or category I was familiar with first, then the others.

  61. Karen Hawkins on 01 May 2008 at 7:30 pm #

    Tina, if you click on the cover, it makes it large to the right of the screen. I didn’t get that the first time I went through it.

    And congrats to Claudia who finally got to vote!!! :)

  62. Sabrina Jeffries on 01 May 2008 at 8:20 pm #

    You know, I voted at 4 in the morning (no issues with bandwidth then, to be sure), so I really can’t remember which one I chose. I think I chose the one where the woman’s boob was hanging out, and the art as all a muddy red. I can’t remember.

  63. doglady on 01 May 2008 at 8:51 pm #

    Just got in from the DDJ and went over to vote. Frankly the historical and two cover selections were the most tasteful, romantic and beautiful. The Goddesses were well-represented.

    The worst covers were fabulous for entertainment! I laughed my ass off. It was hard to pick the worst one. They were all hideous!

    Of course most of them were obviously cast with Wal-Mart shoppers. I see these people every day. Yes, even Miss Spankable Ass. Unfortunately most of the asses that are foisted into my vision have not be botoxed and air brushed to death. They owe their shape more to hostess twinkies and Big Macs than to anything else!

    Any wonder I have postcards from my favorite romance novels framed in my writing studio? Most days I come home after having at least one vision in spandex that makes me want to gouge my eyes out!

  64. Meg on 01 May 2008 at 10:11 pm #

    Well, I finally got to vote. YEAH!! I agree with doglady that the best nominees were in the two-page and the historical sections. And I have to say that the “worst” proved to be the most difficult. In the end I voted for What She Craves (the red one where the woman is grabbing herself). However, they were all terrible and there was more than one that I would not be caught reading in public. You know, before now I never thought that I would ever say that.

    And good luck to the Goddesses who were nominated!

  65. Karen Hawkins on 02 May 2008 at 6:59 am #

    doglady, I promise to botox AND airbrush my ass if ever I am forced to display it. It’s the least I can do for mankind.

    Meg, it was tough to pick which was worst — that one certainly was tasteless. Uber!

  66. Ellen on 02 May 2008 at 7:41 am #

    What happens when one botoxes their ass? Does it become expressionless and look slightly surprised?

  67. Karen Hawkins on 02 May 2008 at 8:27 am #

    If someone botoxed my ass, I’d look VERY surprised, though not so expressionless.

    Maybe it wouldn’t jiggle . . . just sort of freeze in place. ???? Ya think? Frozen in perpetual firmness???