When College Jocks Date
Apr 21st 2008
Claudia DainWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
It had to happen. Here I am, the lone girl on an eight man crew, training every day with another eight man crew. What did you expect? That I wouldn’t date one of them? I basically had the pick of the litter, right? Is a girl not supposed to take advantage of a situation like that? Hey, I’m a goddess. I know what to do with a guy in shorts.
I dated the Stroke of my boat, the rower who sets the pace for the rest of the rowers. The Stroke is the only rower a coxswain can see face to face, the rower I communicate the most with. Plus, he was a six foot tall, turquoise-eyed, platinum blonde. I’m not blind.
Then there was the Stroke of the other boat. Light red hair, light green eyes, and six feet three inches of pure muscle. Player? He was a total player. A complete rake. Being a rake, he couldn’t resist stealing the other Strokes girl. It wasn’t me, it was the situation. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) It was Alpha Male against Alpha Male. Stroke versus Stroke.
I resisted him for as long as I could, I swear. At least 5 months. He was relentless, and obvious. I finally asked Stroke #1 what he thought about the situation and he told me I should go out with Stroke #2. Yeah, he was that confident. Idiot.
So I did. Rakes get to be rakes for a reason. Did I mention that Stroke #2 was relentless?
It got ugly. It got tense. The coach was not happy that his team was churning with Alpha Male snarls and bites. The other males watched from an interested distance, the way wolves do when Alpha status is being challenged. That fascinates me about male behavior; how they stand back and watch to see who’s going come out on top. Exactly like a pack of wolves.
That’s how I think back on it, an anthropological study into what happens when there are sixteen males and only one female. Being the Lone Female in a pack of Males is a lot to handle. I managed it. I’m a goddess, after all, but it was intense for awhile.
Being a writer, I use this experience as fodder for my writing. How men act. With each other. Around women. With each other about women. It went in as experience and comes out as character arc and scene development. In my Courtesan series, I’ve used this dynamic often. Funny how those scenes nearly write themselves. Ahem.
In the end, I stayed with Stroke #1. He and I left crew since the situation with Stroke #2 made it impossible to stay. But Stroke #2 prowled the edges of my life, even after Stroke #1 was gone. In fact, Stroke #2 hunted me down a month before my wedding and sniffed around. How often have you read a scene like that in a romance novel?
Do you enjoy reading scenes where the heroine is caught between two powerful men? Do you like scenes where men struggle for the right to claim one woman? Do you like it when you experience it in real life?
46 Comments »
Kay on 21 Apr 2008 at 9:58 am #
No wonder those scenes vibrate with electricity. You LIVED them. Isn’t it interesting how situations in live translate to the novel?
I like this situation in my novels, not in real life. DH is all I need, thanks. In novels, especially if one of the alpha males is a rake, it makes the situation very interesting. I like it when the reader knows one of the guys is WRONG for the heroine, and the heroine agonizes of which guy is THE ONE.
cail on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:14 am #
i have to say it depends on the men. sometimes its just annoying watching them brawl, but then, sometimes its really fun to see the true hero step up to the plate when he realizes that his girl is about to be taken away from him.
two of my exes had issues with each other. it was always amusing to hear them go on about how i shouldn’t have given the other the time of day. nowadays this doesn’t happen. luckily. as kay said, DH is all i need.
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:16 am #
I don’t like it in real life either! Too tense. I think reading about something in a novel is one thing–exciting, dramatic, intense–very entertaining! In real life? Not so much.
Just imagine if we had to actually live out one of Karen Rose’s novels!
amy1242 on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:16 am #
I do enjoy reading those scenes. I like it even more when the rake character is so obviously an a-hole that you know the hero and heroine will eventually make him look like the total idiot that he is. Putting him in his place is always vindicating, since in real life we don’t always get the chance to do that. Claudia, you should write a book about your life. You write these little blogs and I’m mesmerized by them. You ROCK!
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:18 am #
Just to clarify, no actual punches were exchanged. But it was close. All those various levels of aggression, shudder.
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:24 am #
Amy, I rock? Really? Thanks!
SuzyQ on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:37 am #
Claudia - you are a goddess!!! What a college life you had! OK, so when are you going to write your autobiography?? LOL!
As for two men fighting for a woman - what women wouldn’t feel flattered? I don’t know if I’d care for them to throw punches, but a little competition is OK. I do enjoy reading about them because the heroine always picks the right one in the end. And sometimes the other gentlemen gets his own book later on
Sabrina Jeffries on 21 Apr 2008 at 10:49 am #
Ooh, ooh, what a great story, Claudia!!! Stroke vs. Stroke. Sounds like a movie title!
I love it in books, and I wouldn’t mind it in real life, since it’s never happened to me. The one time I dated two guys, it was my dh and a Physics grad student. Neither of them was the alpha male type, and they didn’t know about each other, and it was brief. I was trying to play the field. It didn’t work. After three dates with one and two with my dh (sometimes in the same weekend), I chose DH. I never looked back. But I do sometimes wonder what happened to the other guy.
Meg on 21 Apr 2008 at 11:09 am #
I think it’s great in books. I’m not sure that I would want it to happen to me, though. I have enough to stress about. Many years ago I did go out with and ex while I was dating my future husband. I remember being really tense the whole time; and still tense the next time I was with the real boyfriend. Needless to say, it didn’t happen again.
Karen Hawkins on 21 Apr 2008 at 11:25 am #
Claudia, no wonder you write such incredible men! I can just see that whole situation.
I’m with most of the goddesses here — great in fiction, tough in real life. Oh, I wouldn’t mind being the Queen of the Scene, as it were, but honestly, I’m a stay at home and read sorta gal. I like stability, commitment, watching the evening news curled up with my honey on the couch, and the ability to fall asleep as soon as my little head hits the pillow at night. All that angst is tiring!
Just writing this made me tired. I need a nap.
Sheridan LA on 21 Apr 2008 at 11:33 am #
I dig these rowing stories.
The “fighting over the girl” can be flattering. but quickly turns annoying, requiring the testosterone smackdown and lots of eye rolling. I like it in books for a little bit, but after a while it can seem more of a way to get pages in then to actually enhance a story. Sometimes, it does work, but often it just kind of drags.
Claudia, I can see where you get lots of fodder for the alpha male characters, like you said.. plus some great memories.
Did I miss you posting another photo of the rowing team? I think I need more visuals like the other day
Nicole Jordan on 21 Apr 2008 at 12:19 pm #
Fun blog, Claudia — as usual!
I went to a college that was mostly men… only 10% women, and I never, ever had guys fighting over me. Wonder why, lol.
And I’m not too wild about having two guys fighting over the heroine in most romances cause one of them has to lose. Most of the time I’d rather just have have the hero be the one competing against the heroine. Although sometimes it can add great conflict and choices for the characters.
Oh, and I’m back from the Romantic Times Convention! It was fun and wild, although not as wild as I’d been led to believe. And it was great getting to meet Charina! I’ll be blogging about it on Sat… if I can ever clear off my desk after being away for 4 days, that is.
NicoleJ
Margaret on 21 Apr 2008 at 12:37 pm #
But, Nicole, the loser then gets his own book! When you run out of them, your trilogy/series is complete. Huh?
Claudia, you had me on the edge of my chair. Such sexy titles. Stroke vs Stroke with a coswain thrown into the mix. Yikes. Do you ever wonder what happened to Stroke #2? He sounds like he should have become very successful in life with all that relentlessness.
Depressingly, I never had 2 guys vieing for my charms. If I did, I was too dense to notice. I married the practice husband when I was still a baby at age 18. I was pretty much a serial dater when I was single in between marriages. Of which there were only 2. Now, I’m too tired to deal with men fighting over me. They have to beat each other with their walkers, I’m afraid. Not pleasant to visualize. LOL
Margaret on 21 Apr 2008 at 12:40 pm #
Is Sabrina also writing against a deadline? ‘Cause I’d sure like to see Will in some crewing shorts.
Speaking of athlete titles. In rugby, they have hookers, loose-head props & tight-head props. That sounds sort of sexy, too.
Freshechelle on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:04 pm #
Man, I miss all the good stuff. Not only did I commute to college while working 2 jobs, I went to a women’s college. Oh to go back in time. Claudia, your crew tales are part of why I encourage people to go away to college, it’s got to be a very different experience than what I had. My school was part of a large co-ed university but still…. this stuff is good, C. You should be a writer… oh wait….
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:06 pm #
Margaret, I have no idea what happened to Stroke #2; I’m just happy he’s finally out of my life. He was just always turning up! You’ve been dumped, fella; move on! LOL The last time I saw him was when he showed up where I was working about a month before my wedding. I’m not sure what he was thinking, that the flame could be fanned? I have to admit I enjoyed shoving him out of my life for that final time.
Could it be that I have a ruthless streak?
Nah. I just couldn’t get over his nerve.
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:07 pm #
Sheridan…ah, the memories.
That’s all I’m sayin’.
Karen Hawkins on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:13 pm #
Claudia, when he showed back up, what did Stroke #2 say? Did he know you were getting married? Was it one last try? Or was he hoping you were in desperate need of a before-the-wedding-fling? I just can’t imagine what was going through his mind!
(Btw, it cracks me up calling this guy ‘Stroke #2″ — seems appropriate on MANY levels!)
Lisa H on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:14 pm #
Oh Claudia - what a great blog! I’m jealous—one petite woman and sixteen testosterone emitting jocks…love those odds.
Yes, I do like the two men fighting for one woman in my novels, but in real life it would stress me out. I actually experienced it once, and it was horrible. It reminds me of this quote from “Friends”, when Phebe decides she wants to “play the field” but then finds she has to keep lying to cover herself and she says it feels like she’s “working in the field” LOL!
Claudia - please feel free to elaborate more on the story, I love it!
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 1:27 pm #
Yeah, Karen, he’d heard I was getting married, he’d called, I was curt, a few days later he showed up where I worked (how did he find out?) and was…sniffing around. Best way to describe it. I think what was going through his mind was “I can have her whenever I want her.” Isn’t that what rakes think most of the time? *G* I’m pretty sure he thought this about every woman he met. And, you know, he was usually right. I can’t think of a girl who didn’t slobber all over herself about him.
I can’t tell you what great joy it gave me to shut him down and shut him out.
Okay, okay, maybe I am ruthless.
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 2:50 pm #
LIsaH, with odds like those, I couldn’t lose! That’s the way I play to win–stack the deck in my favor. LOL
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 2:52 pm #
Fresh, that’s what I always think when some girl chooses to go to an all woman’s college—what are you thinking? LOL You’re going to miss all the fun.
Looking back now, I can see it was predestined for me to become a romance writer.
Karen Hawkins on 21 Apr 2008 at 3:29 pm #
Claudia, you’re right — very rakish, but eerie behavior. I mean, right before you get married? Sheesh! Gotta hand it to him, though! The man was persistent!
As for all women’s colleges, I dunno about missing out on fun! The stories I’ve heard . . . . . . !!!!!!!
DebMarlowe on 21 Apr 2008 at 4:09 pm #
Oh, Claudia, you do have a way with…uh, everything! Words, coxswains, strokes. Birthday Parties! When I grow up, I want to be you!
I never had 2 guys fight over me, but I did have repeating sniffers, as you call it. You know, dating along, everything is great, but the guy decides there might be something better out there, and goes off chasing it. Fast forward a couple of months, (one time it was 2 years) and they haven’t found anything so different, so they come back. Sniffing. Calling out of the blue. Lurking around your car.
Ugh. You had your chance!
I guess that makes me easy to leave and hard to forget?
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 4:28 pm #
DebM, hard to forget is GOOD! And you weren’t easy to leave, he just thought he could troll back through town when the mood struck and pick up where he left off. Uh…no. Where do guys get these weird notions?
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 4:29 pm #
Yeah, persistent. Don’t they call that stalking nowadays? LOL
Karen Hawkins on 21 Apr 2008 at 4:47 pm #
Yes, they do! And persistent stalking is even worse!
Deb, it’s nice to be hard to forget!!! As for easy to leave, I doubt it. It just sounds like they had Sticking Issues. That’s their problem, and not yours.
Now that I’ve thought about it, every man I’ve ever broken up with/left/divorced has always come back begging to get back together. I like being The One Who Got Away!
Suzanne Enoch on 21 Apr 2008 at 4:56 pm #
Oh, I like writing those scenes! Real life, not so much. Too much testosterone in a room makes me nervous. *g*
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 5:37 pm #
Yes, the one that got away! She’s the one who says, “You had your chance and you blew it!”
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 5:38 pm #
Suzie, I like writing those scenes, too. I love reading them. Living them? Well, as long as it’s from a careful distance, like half a mile.
RachelG on 21 Apr 2008 at 5:48 pm #
I’m not a huge fan of that plot, but I love anything that is well written. I love love love Sweet Home Alabama. And the only thing that kept me from love love love looooooooving it was that I felt so bad for Patrick Demsey.
rg
Meg on 21 Apr 2008 at 6:07 pm #
I think one thing that makes it fun to read about is when one of the guys fighting over the girl is the “bad guy.” You know, he’s not really interested in the girl, just doing it to stick it to the good guy. A good villian is so fun!
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 6:07 pm #
Sweet Home Alabama really took a risk in making both guys so appealing. I think most people felt like they couldn’t choose between the guys. I like how they handled it in 27 Dresses, where the guy she rejects is a nice guy, they just have no chemistry. We can watch her let him go and feel okay about it.
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 6:09 pm #
Meg, I like the way you think. From here on out, Stroke #2 is the Bad Guy.
Can we all agree on that, goddesses? Bad Guy. Bad Dog!
This is really working for me.
Yasmin (Yaya) on 21 Apr 2008 at 6:51 pm #
Wow Claudia your a brave woman. I have not had anything like that happen to me. I always had bf’s that were older. I did see alot of drama in HS with my friends and their boyfriends.
I love sweet home alabama. Josh Lucas won me over with the southern accent and the blue eyes.
I wonder if the accent was faked for the movie only.
Hey Karen maybe we can have him on FROS next week.
Nicole Jordan on 21 Apr 2008 at 7:20 pm #
>>>Margaret on 21 Apr 2008
But, Nicole, the loser then gets his own book! When you run out of them, your trilogy/series is complete. Huh?
LOL, Margaret. I did do this recently — gave a rival his own book. And I just realized in the story I’m writing now, I’ve given the hero a rival for the heroine’s affections. Guess I’m a bigger fan of this plotline than I thought!
And Claudia, I too love the Stroke #1 and #2 designations! You have a wicked, delightful mind.
Yasmin (Yaya) on 21 Apr 2008 at 7:25 pm #
I agree #2 is the bad guy.By your description a very tall handsome bad guy. Lol stroke-vs-stroke.
I’m kinda jealous. You got all that eye contact with turquoise eyes.
Sheridan LA on 21 Apr 2008 at 7:25 pm #
mmmm Josh Lucas is definitely a FRO…. especially if you can get a soundclip in there.. mmmmmmmmm
same reason why Matthew McConoughey (sp?) is so sexay.. that accent.. those eyes. *sigh*
methinks my Texas roots are showing. hehe
Sabrina Jeffries on 21 Apr 2008 at 7:59 pm #
I still want to SEE Sweet Home Alabama. It looked like a good flick. I saw pieces of it once–that’s as far as I was able to get.
I heard through the grapevine after choosing DH that the other guy told everybody I’d broken his heart. After 3 dates and one make-out session!!! Boy, I must be good.
Or at least better than I thought.
Before him, there was a guy who went out with me NINE times and never kissed me. I thought that was odd. He finally stopped calling, which was fine because I’d been bewildered over the whole thing. So after my DH and I had gotten very serious together, the guy showed back up wanting to go out again! Told me that his weird behavior was because he had a girlfriend who kept threatening suicide if he left her, but now they were done.
Hmm. I said, “no thanks.” Always wondered what happened to HIM, too.
Margaret, I’m hoping to put up a Will and Jane comic next time I blog. I was going to do it last time, but couldn’t think of a punch linel
Yasmin (Yaya) on 21 Apr 2008 at 8:05 pm #
Claudia–Did any of the “stroke” guys have dimples? I agree with Sheridan we need more visuals.
Matthew McConaughey for FROS…..yes yes.
How about Jonathan Rhys Meyers? Irish accent **sigh**
doglady on 21 Apr 2008 at 8:46 pm #
Claudia, you femme fatale you! I have to admit the idea of two men fighting over one is intriguing in theory and in literature, but it can get messy in real life. I date my dh’s best friend for a year before I dated my dh. My dh was always around and we did a lot of things in a group. After his best friend and I split, amicably (we loved each other but decided we would kill each other if we married - too much alike) my dh asked the friend’s permission to date me! He was even in our wedding!
Now in romance novels I am all for it. I love it when both guys are ultimately good guys, but I know only one can win.
Had a stalker boyfriend in college before I started dating dh’s best friend. Not a fun thing it experience!
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 8:52 pm #
Oooh, let’s see. No dimples. Sorry! Stroke #2 had a tiny dimple in his chin, Cary Grant lite. Honestly, that man had the most gorgeous body I’ve ever seen. Still. Adonis would cry in envy.
RAKE! *g*
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 8:56 pm #
Stroke #1 really and truly had turquoise eyes. I’ve never seen any shade like it, before or since. And platinum hair! Naturally! Amazing. He also had very full lips, way before Angelina made them popular. He hated his lips. I wonder if he still does?
Stroke #1 and I dated for 4 years, all through college. He came to my wedding! He got married a few years later, we exchanged cards for about 20 years more and have just recently lost touch.
Now, really, isn’t my DH the true hero of the piece? He never gets jealous. Why should he? I am his and he is mine and that is that. *G*
Claudia Dain on 21 Apr 2008 at 8:59 pm #
But as long as I’m wandering Memory Lane, Stroke #2 had amazing coloring. His skin was golden and with that light red hair and pale green eyes (and that body) he always reminded me of a lion. Prowling.
Margaret on 22 Apr 2008 at 6:54 am #
“I’m not a huge fan of that plot, but I love anything that is well written. I love love love Sweet Home Alabama. And the only thing that kept me from love love love looooooooving it was that I felt so bad for Patrick Demsey.” - RachelG
Oh Rachel! You remind me of Hannah Calebow in Susan Elizabeth Phillips’s “This Heart of Mine” & “Match Me if You Can”. She has such a tender heart.
I felt sorry for Patrick, also. He was twice cursed. Dumped by the woman he loved and the mom-from-hell. Candice Bergen plays those so well, doesn’t she?
Margaret on 22 Apr 2008 at 6:56 am #
Claudia, I once lusted for a guy who had incredible blue eyes of a shade I’never seen before or since. And long eyelashes that weren’t the least bit feminine. Sheesh! After 30+ years, I still get hot thinking of him. I have to remember he’s in his 70’s now.
I don’t recall ever seeing either turquoise or green eyes before. Hmm