Share And Tell!
Apr 9th 2008
Karen HawkinsGoddess Classics
One of the things I love most about being a woman is the support I get from my women friends. The following are some hints/secrets/tidbits that various wonderful women in my life have shared with me that have made my life longer, richer, and just plain better:
1) My doctor (a she!) told me that “A brisk forty-five minute walk is as good for you as a thirty minute run, only not as hard on your knees and hips!”
2) The counselor I saw when I went through my divorce told me that “A relationship is hard work, but it shouldn’t FEEL like it. In a healthy relationship, your partner will give back enough to replenish the well.” That measure helped me find the wonderful relationship I’m in now.
3) My mother once told me that “All teenagers are brain dead. If you remember that fact, you might manage to communicate with them.”
4) A friend of mine who is a CEO for a huge corporation told me that “The key to financial security isn’t investments but cash on hand. If you don’t have an emergency savings account that holds at least six months’ salary for those difficult stretches, you’re going to end up cashing in your investments at really bad times and losing whatever gain you might have made.”
What are some brightest words of wisdom the women in your life have shared with you? On Family? Kids? Relationships? Money? Health? Beauty? Weight loss? Anything else?
47 Comments »
47 Responses to “Share And Tell!”
Gillilan on 10 Apr 2008 at 6:16 am #
First of all, I love that relationship quote! I try to preach that to my teenage girls, in not-so-hip language that makes them roll their eyes. But I hope they’re listening a little.
My mom is a voice of reason in any “crisis”, mainly because she doesn’t believe in them. She’s a “everything happens for a reason” lady. Both my parents are also “never turn down an opportunity to help another person” people. It’s the farmer lifestyle.
My cp’s are always saying different things that add up to the same bit of wisdom: ‘Believe in your own voice.’ Brilliant ladies, one and all!
FreshEChelle on 10 Apr 2008 at 6:55 am #
When I was about to drop out of community college because I had no direction, I had a professor rescue me with her words. My parents thought you went to college to learn how to do something specific (they didn’t go to college). She said “You go to college to figure out what you DON’T want to do.” And know I’m a Vice President of a great company. Great advice that I pass on every chance I get.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 6:58 am #
AH, Gillian, those are pearls indeed! Thank you for sharing. And yes, listen to your CPs — and your own voice.
Btw, I thought of another piece of advice I received from a woman in my life that wasn’t so good, but it always makes me laugh. When I got married wayyyy back when, my great grandmother came through the receiving line. She took my hand, looked me straight in the eye, and said in a voice loud enough for my new husband to hear, “Honey, just remember that ONCE A MONTH IS ENOUGH FOR ANY MAN.” She cast a glare at my husband and then tottered off.
I wish you could have seen his face! Needless to say, I didn’t list that under ‘advice that has changed my life’ but it DID clue us all in as to why my great grandfather died at 56 while my great grandmother lived to be 102.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 6:59 am #
Fresh! That’s awesome advice — and what a great way to word it. I’m passing that on to my son. He’s close to graduating high school and frustrated because he hasn’t figured out what he wants to do yet.
And congrats on your success, too. You go, girlfriend!
FreshEChelle on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:05 am #
K, your great grandma sounds like hoot!
Susan K (soon to be Susan M) on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:28 am #
My mom is always the person who I go to for advice. Unfortunately I can’t think of anything specific right now. My head is too full of wedding stuff! 2 more days! The next time I post on here I’ll be a married woman. : )
Margaret Garland on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:33 am #
I’ll be thinking of you, Susan. Enjoy your wedding day and all the days that follow.
Margaret
cail on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:40 am #
Congrats Susan! You HAVE to post the pictures when you’re back from the chaos!
Advice… thats a tough one… I’m completely blanking on any wise things I’ve been told. Humorous, yes. My grandfather told my cousin on her wedding ‘It hurts once, but after that it gets really good.’ She was horrified and quickly went off to do other bride like things…
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:50 am #
Fresh, she was a hoot and then some. One day I will blog about her - she was such a fascinating person.
Susan, oh I am so excited for you!!!! Enjoy your day! We demand pics!!
Margaret, your grandfather’s comment made me snort my diet coke. I was like NOOOO! NOT FROM THE GRANDFATHER!!!! Lol!
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:51 am #
Oops! I meant Cail about the grandfather. Sorry! Haven’t quite gotten awake.
Lisa H on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:01 am #
One of my college professors told me, “You don’t go to college to get a job, you go to college to get an education.” Amen, Mrs. Allison!
Meg on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:09 am #
Karen, Cail — Those were too funny!! I could never imagine getting sex advice from the grandparents. eeww!
And while I love the pearls of wisdom that you listed, Karen, I am drawing a complete blank about any wisdom that might have been shared with me. What do you think that means? Can I just use some of yours? Maybe if I brainstorm I can come up with something.
Ellen on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:19 am #
Hiya Girls!
I LMAO on Karen’s GG’s advice.
Let’s see…hmmm. I’ve gotten soo much great help thru the years.
Here’s one I just used this past week. “If you thank people for what they should have done, they will be sure to do it the next time.” Trust me, it works like a charm.
I miss you guys so much. Crazy Busy with my work and family, but I do read your blogs late at night.
Lisa H on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:21 am #
Hi Ellen - we miss you! Hope things slow down for you!
Sandy "Snik" White on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:31 am #
I have been blessed with some mighty fine ladies in my life. My favorite advice has been:
*Eat your food on a smaller plate, you’ll fool your eyes into thinking you are eating more than you really are.
*The value that you place on yourself is the exact same value that others will put on you.
*Speaking with my old Sunday School teacher last year, she told me: You can’t experience life by thinking about how different things are from what you had imagined them to be. Living is in the doing. Not the thinking.
*Life is an ocassion. Rise to it.
Kim on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:32 am #
Oh man. Okay, I just thought of one my mom told me as a teen-ager with her first boyfriend but I don’t think its fit for public consumption. Eeek.
One of my old bosses and a very dear, wise friend told me on marriage, “You’ll fall in and out of love many times with the same person.” That the key was even during the times you didn’t like your spouse very much or feel much love towards them to keep trying, to keep reconnecting. She also told me “This too shall pass.” And lemme tell you, I repeat that one a lot. When you’re in the heart of a very stressful situation its really hard to see the end or even know that there will be an end.
Another one but I don’t remember from where. “Boys are mean. Just throw rocks at them.” Its probably from a movie but I remember it often living with two males. LOL.
K-hawk–I’m SO happy to know my kiddo isn’t the only one who’s still lost! Although we did mention to him that becoming a teacher or professor would be a good path, he even listened
Kay on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:35 am #
Susan, you’ll have to tell us what “advice” you get in the receiving line! We’ll be thinking of you.
Thank goodness, no “marital advice” from my grandfather. LOL
MY mom has given me some great advice over the years.
ON LIFE: You can do it all, just not all at the same time.
ON PARENTING: Teenagers are toddlers with hormone
Julia London on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:51 am #
My mother has a series of lectures/advice she trots out at various times. We’ve numbered them. But two have really stuck with me.
You never know what’s around the corner, so don’t pass up opportunities.
Life is too short — don’t sweat the small stuff.
Good advice I try and practice!
Freshechelle on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:55 am #
OH Ellen, guilt-inspiring words! I’m going to try this one!!!
Claudia Dain on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:33 am #
Great advice from my mom on the Boy Question:
Someday you’ll be in the back seat of the car and he’ll be very aroused, and then he’ll say, “It’s the point of no return for me. We gotta do it. I’m in serious pain. We gotta DO IT.” Honey, he’ll live. He might be uncomfortable for a while, but he’ll be fine. It’s the oldest line in the book.
And it happened just like that. Mom, you were a genius!
amy1242 on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:42 am #
From a boss I used to work for: When someone does you a horrible injustice and there’s nothing you can do about it, file it away in the back of your head for future reference and get on with your life.
(This boss had a REALLY stressful life, at home and at work, but always managed to stay calm and handle the situations. All bosses should be this sensable and well adjusted.)
Sabrina Jeffries on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:43 am #
My sister said a great one recently that I’d never heard before, although apparently it’s not unknown, since it’s on the internet: “bitterness is when you drink poison in hopes that the other person will die.”
I love that. I’m trying to learn to refuse the poison.
My friend and critique partner Rexanne saved my writing life by telling me that I ought to be writing what I love to read, not what I thought I OUGHT to be writing (that pesky grad school education always messed with my mind).
My friend Caren Crane Helms’ recent description of how much better she’d felt after giving up caffeine has made me more determined to do it.
Kim on 10 Apr 2008 at 10:13 am #
Sabrina–that bit about poison is spot on! I’m printing that out. My mom STILL goes on and on about her divorce from my dad. THIRTY YEARS AGO. I keep telling her it takes more energy to focus on all that hate and negative stuff than it would to just let it go. Talk about a mental packrat!
Yasmin on 10 Apr 2008 at 10:28 am #
My mom is one of the strongest persons i know. She always tells my sis and I to always look forward. She left her husband when not many would help her. She had my 1yr old sis with her and pregnant with me. She didnt know she was at that time. She reminds us that if she made it then so can we.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 10:48 am #
Meg, I love the idea of brainstorming for Good Advice! Now that I’ve had my morning coffee and am sufficiently awake, I am sure I could think of some pearls of wisdom . . . or at least some tiny little nuggets!
Ellen, we miss you, too. I’m going to try your advice! Can’t say exactly with whom, but I’ll tell you later. (insert mysterious music here)
Snik, I love your advice - especially from your Sunday School teacher. What a wise woman!
Kim, boys are so driven to BE something. i think they rush it sometimes. I love the advice about marriage, too! That’s the truth and don’t I know it!
Kay, I’m taking your mom’s advice on parenting and embroidering it on a pillow! AMEN!
Julia, I heard something like the ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ but it went like this: “Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.” I think George Carlin said that. Heh!
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 10:58 am #
Claudia, what great advice! I heard that one, too. Fortunately, I had a brother and I’d already overheard him telling one of his friends to give ‘this great line’ a go. Ha!
Amy, that’s a great boss! They are way too rare. I’m going to remember that tidbit, too.
Sabrina, I like the bitterness quote! And Rexanne is absolutely right. As usual. She’s a smart woman, that one.
Kim, I have a friend who divorced 12 years ago and she obsesses about it still. You’re right — all of that energy is so wasted and there’s so much she COULD do if she’d just let it go and move on. Maybe I should show her Sabrina’s quote, too!
Yasmin, you have an incredibly strong mother! Huzzah that she worked so hard to make all of your lives healthier!
Julia London on 10 Apr 2008 at 11:17 am #
What is it with people who obsess about old divorces? My oldest sister is still mad at my parents, who divorced thirty years ago. I don’t get this at all — they are both remarried and much happier and congenial. We’re all very happy people, generally, and we love our steps. Why can’t she get over it?
Sheridan LA on 10 Apr 2008 at 11:45 am #
Susan, Congratulations!! I will be throwing virtual birdseed at you.
Advice… When I was sad at going back home, my grandmother would always say “life is a series of hellos and good-byes. Don’t be sad at good bye, it just means you get to say hello again.” paraphrasing… but you might get the gist.
The other was from a friend. “treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.” Really hits home how we treat others better then we treat ourselves sometimes. And how while we are the first to jump in to help others, we are reluctant to ask them to do the same for us..
and my all time favorite from Nike (can a brand be a woman??) “Just do it.”
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 12:03 pm #
Julia, I read this in a book (and it was stated by a female character, now that I think about it) “If you’re over 30 and you’re still blaming your parents, it’s time to move out of their basement.” I love that! In some way, your sister is still living in her childhood home and she needs to move out and away.
Sheridan, lovely advice! I especially like the ‘treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.’ I think it’s true we’re sometimes less demanding and more forgiving of our friends than we are of ourselves. That’s a great quote!
And yes, we’ll accept the Nike brand as they use it in ads for women, too! It’ short, but yup, I need to hear that as I begin to pick up my exercise routine!
Sheridan LA on 10 Apr 2008 at 12:33 pm #
Karen,
I wore a “just do it” shirt for my first distance ride. I just signed up for my latest challenge - the 3-day walk.. and am repeating that over and over as I get ready to start on that journey. I am tempted to get a tattoo of it on my wrist so I can look down when I get discouraged or frustrated.. or a bracelet. I do these for charities and the people they help have it much harder then I do.. gotta remember I need to quit whining.
Sabrina: I think Rexanne was brilliant for that advice.. and look at you now!
Julia London on 10 Apr 2008 at 12:58 pm #
Oh yeah, Susan! Throwing cyber confetti at you and I’ve already started drinking all your champagne! Have a great and glorious time!
K-Hahaha, I’ve suspected that about her for a looooong time, LOL
Nicole Jordan on 10 Apr 2008 at 1:22 pm #
Wow, those are all such wonderful words of wisdom!! Love it.
Like many of you, my mom had some excellent words of advice over the years, even though sometimes I didn’t always appreciate them at the time. The biggest probably was that I should educate myself so that I could be able to earn my own living so that I would never be totally dependent on someone else, which gives you a great feeling of freedom.
And actually, my dad had some advice that I’ll always remember. It was when I was thirteen and in tears because I was so skinny and bosomless… He told me I would be glad of my stick figure when I was 30, and boy was he ever right!
SusanK, Wishing you a wonderful, wonderful wedding day! And may you make many happy memories with your new hubby in your new life together.
Margaret Garland on 10 Apr 2008 at 2:55 pm #
While I’ve been involved in other stuff today, you all have been dropping pearls of wisdom all over the place.
Nicole, my mom was also of the get an education and don’t depend on some man to take care of you school of thought.
A favorite aunt use to say that the right of way belonged to whoever was fool enough to take it. I find myself quoting her to the grandkids who are driving or learning. And I always think of it when I’m at a 4-way stop sign. Guess it stuck in my head, huh?
BTW, this is a woman who built her own house and dug her own pool because somebody told her she couldn’t. It wasn’t fancy but it was hers and I loved it. All gone now, sad to say.
Leah Braemel on 10 Apr 2008 at 3:14 pm #
My mother always used to say “An hours work before ten (a.m.) takes two after” and “An hours sleep before midnight” is worth two after. And it seems to be true.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 3:45 pm #
Sheridan, is that the Susan G. Homen walk against cancer? I’ve always wanted to do that. Please tell us how it goes! Just — no tattoos. They are permanent and when you do another event, you might wish you’d just gone for the bracelet. Just my opinion, of course!
Nicole, boy was your dad right! I’m short and bosomy and now i have to watch my weight like a hawk. If I gain ten pounds, then I look forty pounds heavier, darn it! Meanwhile, you’re thin and elegant and never have to worry about five extra pounds!
Margaret, your aunt sounds fascinating. Sorry she’s gone, though it sounds as if her spirit is alive and well in you!
Leah, I agree! I can do more between 8 and 10 in the morning than I can get done all day. I don’t know why, but things just seem to click then.
Suzanne Enoch on 10 Apr 2008 at 4:29 pm #
The only one I can think of offhand is the saying my great-grandmother used all the time, for attire: “Black attracts everything but a man, honey.” Since I wear black a lot, I suppose she’s right. *g*
Sheridan LA on 10 Apr 2008 at 4:30 pm #
Karen, Yes, it is the 3day for the Komen foundation. I am doing the San Diego walk.. used to participate in Team in Training (cycling) and it was amazing.. I am expecting the same from this - a new challenge and raising money for a very worthwhile cause.
Leah, I second what Karen said… I try to run all errands before 10 - I swear there is a time warp that lets me get 4x as much done!
Judy F on 10 Apr 2008 at 5:31 pm #
I used to worry that my place wasn’t very tidy when friends came over. My friend Ann told me once, I am here to see you not your place. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore if its not tidy.
Lorena on 10 Apr 2008 at 6:27 pm #
My grandmother (when I was @13): Think about something besides boys!
I’m not sure how she’d feel about my writing career LOL
My mom, when I was trying to pick electives in high school: Learn to type. You’ll always have a job if you know how to type.
Mom is a big fan of my writing career *G*.
cail on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:11 pm #
oh, ok… i thought of one… its a 2 parter…
My grandma has always said ‘its just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man’ and my mother’s addendum to that is: ‘but you should be the one making the millions.’
its more humorous than anything really.
evlqn on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:15 pm #
I’m drawing a blank on advice I have received from other women, but a favorite memory of a trip to a trainstop cafe comes to mind. My sister ( my best friend and hero) and I were waiting for a cup of coffee late one night and the waitress was much too busy with flirting 101. We were getting up to leave when the owner came over to say hello and ask how we had been doing.My sister looked him right in the eye and said, “Fine, but I have absolutely no intention of changing my sex just to get a cup of coffee.” You would not beleive how fast we were served.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 7:36 pm #
Sheridan, you’re awesome. Please let us know when you go — and be sure to post an entry on the forum for how we can support you!
Judy, so did I. Especially when my kids were little. What’s funny is that as I’ve relaxed about it, it’s gotten neater because I’m not so stressed trying to make it perfect.
Lorena, your mother was right — typing is SUCH a good skill to know, but you might as well use it to get big checks as little ones!
anneriailin on 10 Apr 2008 at 8:24 pm #
My mother always said….
God doesn’t give you more than you can handle at any one time. I just wish he didn’t have so much confidence in me.
–dorothy
Kate on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:01 pm #
My mom had a placque that hung in the kitchen it read:
The Hurrier I go; the Behinder I get.
She was a great woman and I miss her very much.
Susan - I hope your day is as wonderful as you imagine…and loads of fun!
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:05 pm #
cail, that’s very funny! It’d be nice if all of the great guys were ALSO billionaires, though.
eviqn, your sister wins for ‘most clearly stated service complaint!’ I’m glad the manager listened to her.
Karen Hawkins on 10 Apr 2008 at 9:10 pm #
dorothy, amen!
Kate, that’s a great saying — and oh, I can relate. I always make more problems for myself when I rush forward without heed. Btw, your mother sounds like she was a wonderful woman! Thank you for sharing!
Kathy on 13 Apr 2008 at 7:52 pm #
My mom’s advice was to “believe what they do, not what they say.” She was talking about boys, but it really applies to anything.