Things You Can Only Do in a Book
Apr 4th 2008
Suzanne EnochOn Writing!
Last year I received some, well, hate mail for having the heroine of Sins of a Duke slap the hero in the middle of a ballroom. This was the moment he realized that he’d met someone who would stand up to him, and love – eventually – ensued. Is that act actually conducive to a long, healthy, loving relationship? No. But it plays well.
I’ve also written tales where orphans break into a ballroom to dance, Regency-era Chinese ninja types hide in alleyways, and couples have sex in coaches moving through the countryside at a gallop. 
In my July book, After the Kiss, the hero and heroine meets when he breaks into her house in the middle of the night and then steals a kiss. Romantic? I think so. But not what I would be thinking of if somebody actually broke into my house.
Now while these things are all possible, I suppose, some of them wouldn’t be nearly as easy or as pleasurable in real life as they are in a romance novel. Making love on horseback comes to mind.
And there are other things, of course. Flying around on a broomstick like Harry Potter sounds and looks very fun, but can you imagine balancing on that skinny thing? Or the chill in the air? Or what your hair would look like after a flight? Or having an adamantium skeleton like Wolverine. Slashy claws, cool. Going through airport security, not so much.
What things in your reading or movie watching experience sound good but might not be as doable or pleasant in real life?
37 Comments »
Kasey on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:06 am #
I love this blog! It is a great topic. I think flying on a broom would be uncomfortable, but oh so cool! Conan O’Brien does did this skit awhile back when Harry Potter first got big where he moved his desk in front of a green screen and made it look like he was flying with his desk instead of broom stick. That would be more comfortable and equally fun. But I love anything that reminds me of Harry Potter. BTW - I did my thesis defense today on Harry Potter. It went well. I will get to graduate this spring.
As for the breaking into the house and kissing the girl story line. I like that. Wish it would happen to me, but I would probably hit him with a baseball bat first. For some reason it reminds of a scene in Shanghi Noon when they rob the train and Owen Wilson’s character is hitting on the one woman. I love that, it was hilarous.
Kasey on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:06 am #
Oh and Suzanne, I really like the cover of that book. I can’t wait to read it!
Kathleen Oxley on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:07 am #
I think most of the stuff with vampires falls into that category. It’s usually written as being an incredibly sexy thing for a vamp to take a bite out of you - but in real life, it’d probably hurt, A LOT. Don’t get me wrong, I still find it to be really hot when I read it, and I love the paranormal romances - but, I wouldn’t be the first in line to offer up a vein in RL.
doglady on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:21 am #
That is a DELICIOUS cover, but then I would read a cereal box if Ms. Enoch wrote the text.
What is wrong with these people? I LOVE all of those scenes you mentioned. Having sex in a moving carriage? Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it! And if the guy looked like your cover model I would leave the door open for him!
Life is sometimes so ORDINARY! Sometimes a good thing, but sometimes you WANT the extraordinary. Romance novels let you experience all those things you’d like to try, but it just isn’t practical to do so. And ladies, sometimes the impractical is a moral imperative!
Keep writing those impractical, wonderful, fanciful scenes, Suzanne. Most days I eat my vegetables first. Some days I WANT that hot fudge sundae FIRST!
Kathy/Cookiedough on 05 Apr 2008 at 7:19 am #
ooooh! Steamy cover! Cannot wait to read the contents!
books with impractical love scenes? love ‘em! keep writing them ladies!
I finally found the Rake.. loving it, but weirdly reading it alternately with the Tom Cruise biography.
the blog does brings to mind the ridiculousness that was the Home Alone movies though..
The head on fire would have cause immense pain. end of movie
paint cans swung from the banister? out cold. movie over.
a whole shelf of pain cans. dead and buried. on and on…
these movies ticked me off. It sent one child I knew to booby trap his house dangerously.
his parents thought it was adorable. I didn’t visit again until the kid was out of this deadly stage.
Claudia Dain on 05 Apr 2008 at 8:37 am #
Kathy/Cookie, I had the same reaction to Home Alone. Every stunt pulled, I’d think, “He’s dead now. Dead. Dead again.”
I don’t have that problem at *all* with romance novels. I love the heightened situations, the dramatic reactions.
Suzie, I’m sorry you got hate mail!! Ignore that stuff. Just keep giving us all the fun and sexy scenarios that you do so well and we’ll all be happy!
Karen Hawkins on 05 Apr 2008 at 8:57 am #
Suzie, how rude for someone to write you hate mail! If people don’t like something, then fine, but there’s no reason to be so ill mannered.
The pottery love scene in GHOST totally stopped me cold. The scene was great — very well done — but I just kept thinking, “Oh, that’d be COLD. Oh, that’d be MESSY.” And then they spoofed it in NAKED GUN and I felt vindicated!!! Woohoo!!!
Karen Hawkins on 05 Apr 2008 at 8:58 am #
Claudia, I cringe whenever people get hurt in slap stick situations. OW! And then I’d think, “If that was me, I’d be crying. Why aren’t they crying?”
amy1242 on 05 Apr 2008 at 9:11 am #
Hate mail? From a romance?? Heck, most guy’s I know need a good slap now and again. At least until we have them trained properly.
When I read, I see a movie playing in my head. Sometimes I have to stop, go back and read a part over because the movie gets jumbled and I lose the picture. And honestly, sometimes I think, “Ok, that’s impossible to do, but maybe these characters are more coordinated than me.” And I go on with the book. Heck, it’s a book, anything can happen. Anything is possible.
And Suzanne, that slap in your book made me stop and think, but it worked well with what you wanted to get across. In the end, I liked it. Kudo’s!
amy1242 on 05 Apr 2008 at 9:13 am #
Karen, the pottery scene in Ghost made me think, “What are they doing? That was such a nice looking pot. All that work for nothing.” LOL
Kay on 05 Apr 2008 at 9:27 am #
You are writing FICTION, for goodness sakes! Of course you can do whatever you want. If the letter writer wants want it done differently–she can write her own book.
I LOVE the scene in the movie OUT OF AFRICA, when they are flying in the airplane, and they hold hands. WOW. Of course, I imagine I’m the heroine when I read a book, or see a movie, but I could never do that (fly in an open cockpit plane) because I’m afraid of heights. LOL
I have to agree with Amy, I see a movie in my head when I read a book. If something happens to “bring me back to reality” when I’m reading–clunky dialog, cliches, etc, then it makes it more difficult for me to enjoy the book. If it happens too often, I just put the book down and move on. It’s not as though there aren’t lots of great books out there to read, thanks to the goddesses.
Sabrina Jeffries on 05 Apr 2008 at 9:42 am #
Love your cover, Suzanne!
The thing that appears in books most that I don’t like in real life is sleeping completely entwined. I can’t do it. Can’t stand to touch or be touched while I’m sleeping. Fortunately, hubby is exactly the same and we have a king-sized bed to accommodate our needs.
But I still love to read it.
And clearly, I can suspend my disbelief WAYYY more than some of you. Y’all sound like my husband. He’s always scoffing at TV shows, saying, “oh, SURE, like the bad guys would all miss hitting him with their submachine guns while he’s got a service revolver. Right.” And don’t get him started on the bus scene in SPEED, where the bus leaps a chasm.
Me, I’m just along for the ride. I’ll go along with anything as long as I like the story.
And Suzie, I LOVE stories where the guy breaks in and steals a kiss. Love it!
kaly on 05 Apr 2008 at 9:53 am #
The cover looks great Suzanne! I can’t wait to read it.
elsiehogarth on 05 Apr 2008 at 10:06 am #
Suzanne, that’s actually one of my favorite scenes. Well, there is not accounting for bad taste or no taste at all.
Love this new cover. Very Sexy!
Scenes of getting into a woman’s bedroom, through a balcony, to steal a kiss always reminds of Tyrone Powers and “The Mark of Zorro”. I love that scene and also the dancing scene. I think a hero and heroine dancing together is wonderful…electrifying all that heat, passion and sexuality.
amy1242 on 05 Apr 2008 at 10:19 am #
LOL, Sabrina! I DO do that while watching tv shows, but my dh got me started on it. He always did it and now I do it. We’re watching something and then go, “That’s SO fake!” Well, no dah, it’s tv. I used to just go along with the story.
elsie, I too, like those scenes, in books and movies. My dh came in late one night while I was sleeping, and quietly tried to kiss me. I startled and flailed and scared him almost as much as he scared me. LOL So it doesn’t always work out as planned.
Suzanne Enoch on 05 Apr 2008 at 11:12 am #
Kasey, a flying desk does make much more sense, comfort-wise. If I had something to cover my hair, that is.
The hate mail was more like — “a woman would never slap a duke in public!” or “Sebastian would never tolerate a woman who slapped him in public!” My thinking was that only a woman who dared to slap him in public would get his attention.
Suzanne Enoch on 05 Apr 2008 at 11:14 am #
Kathleen, vampire bites — exactly! Ew and ouch in real life, but in fiction it can be so sexy!
And doglady, if my writing career ever collapses, it’s good to know that you’d buy my cereal boxes. *g*
SuzyQ on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:42 pm #
Ohhhh I absolutely love the cover!!! Can’t wait for July!
One thing that comes to mind that looks cool to do is Ghost Hunting. I watch it on TV all the time. However I know that if I heard a voice telling me to “get out” I would drop everything and be out the front door in two seconds flat. And second, I wouldn’t want anything to attach themselves to me and follow me home. Definately not.
Margaret Garland on 05 Apr 2008 at 12:56 pm #
Fab cover, Suzanne! Comes out in July, you say? Whee. I get mega gcs to Amazon.com from various kids for Mother’s Day. Good thing, too, as all my Chrismas ones have been spent. I still have 2 books due to arrive May 29 that were pre-ordered. I can milk a gc for all it’s worth! I’m definitely pre-ordering “After the Kiss” if for no other reason than the cover. LOL And the story, of course.
Seeing as how I can’t stand having a thong crawl up my behind, I’d hate riding a broomstick that was crawling in a much more personal space. Think of the splinters, gang! Ewww A flying desk is much more practical.
Sex on horseback reads well and is very hot. However, it’s probably darned uncomfortable what with the saddle horn crawling up your you-know-what. Do you all sense a theme here?
In fact, outdoor sex would make me very nervous for fear that somebody would stumble across us any second. I’m such a wimp.
Margaret Garland on 05 Apr 2008 at 1:11 pm #
Sabrina, I’m a bit like your DH. Only I do it afer I’ve seen the movie. I’ll start thinking about this scene or that one. Next thing you know, I’ve just shredded the whole movie. This is when my kids/grandkids all get glassy eyed and start moving away from me. Some faster than others.
Nicole Jordan on 05 Apr 2008 at 1:54 pm #
LOVE your new gorgeous cover, Suzanne! And can’t wait to read the book!
This happens to me a lot… enjoying stuff in movies and books that I wouldn’t like in real life. In particular, I love alpha heroes in books, but if I ever met them in person, I’d probably want to give them a good kick in the family you-know-what!
Suzanne Enoch on 05 Apr 2008 at 2:00 pm #
Thanks for the cover compliments, everybody. Isn’t it gorgeous? The one for the next book, BEFORE THE SCANDAL, is just as steamy — and it’s red. Yum.
I’m with you on the ghosthunting shows, SuzyQ. I love to watch them, but that’s one thing I’d ride a broomstick to get away from in person.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 05 Apr 2008 at 2:11 pm #
I don’t know about the ghost shows. My sis loves them. they give me the willies, yet I have a ghost cat that jumps on my bed that doesn’t bother me at all.
Claudia Dain on 05 Apr 2008 at 3:20 pm #
Nicole, you had me laughing about the Alpha hero real life reaction. In books I love rakes, but in real life?
Slut. *G*
Aspen on 05 Apr 2008 at 3:38 pm #
Has anyone seen Enchanted?
GROSS. Totally ruined those cute little mice you find in the animated Cinderellla and put in Sewer rats or as Princess Bride would call them Rodents of unusual size.
Hmmm…. I heard in one of Christina Dodds books the hero and heroine make passionate love up a tree. Yikes.
Aspen
Kathy/Cookiedough on 05 Apr 2008 at 3:42 pm #
I love Enchanted! I squirmed big time after the rats started to appear, but then snorted with laughter at the whole thing!
Yeah, I’d probably want to give the rakes a good swift kick off a horse.
Lisa H on 05 Apr 2008 at 4:56 pm #
Here is the only thing that I’d never do in real life. I would not allow my hero to give me a big old wet French kiss first thing in the morning without brushing my teeth. Yech! Sometimes when I’m reading about the hero awaking her with a kiss all I can think of is “Where’s the Scope?”
Now, making love in a moving carraige, riding horseback naked or kissing a stranger who is secretly hiding in my bedroom (providing I already brushed) is just fine with me!
Suzanne, I love your books and know this one will be wonderful!
Jane on 05 Apr 2008 at 5:42 pm #
Count me as another admirer of your cover. I think sex on the stairs or up against the wall would be quite uncomfortable and murder on the back.
Margaret Garland on 05 Apr 2008 at 6:27 pm #
Hmm. I think sex in a nice, soft bed that doesn’t squeak sounds heavenly. Icing on the cake would be no in-laws and/or nosy kids nearby.
Lisa, I’m with you on the early morning kiss w/o brushing. Eww. Beard bristle, I don’t mind. But I’m one one of those who need to hit the potty before anything else when my eyes open. Trust me. I am not in a romatic mood about then. Catch me later, dude.
Also, rakes are great between the covers of a book. Not so great between the covers. If you catch my drift. Bad boys are usually pretty selfish.
Nitey nite all. I’m off to watch the cowboys of the PBR do their thing.
Suzanne Enoch on 05 Apr 2008 at 6:30 pm #
You’re right, Aspen — the sight of a couple dozen rats and cockroaches walking around my house would not make me want to sing. Though I thought it was pretty hilarious on the movie screen. Especially when the pigeon ate one of the dancing cockroaches.
nan on 05 Apr 2008 at 6:38 pm #
Suzie the cover is great and the one in red better. The horse would have to be broad across or the balance very good. Carriages are ok but Mercedes are better at least more comfortable. Stairs ouch. Broomsticks are ment to be used to feel the wind in your hair far above the muggles. Let it blow.
Tal on 05 Apr 2008 at 7:25 pm #
Cover is GREAT!! Can’t wait!! I liked the slapping scene, I liked her more too on the 2nd time I read it..
Sex — anywhere
Rats/cockroaches — no way, never cute .. ..ever..
rakes—yes
alpha males–occasionaly…
sleeping entwined—overrated
kisses in the morning— why kiss at all…just go…
disney movies– thank god my kids are too old, now
Santa on 05 Apr 2008 at 10:02 pm #
Sex up a tree would have to top the list of ‘hot in a book - not so hot in real life’! I once read a scene where the h/h make love in a fast moving coach, with one of them hanging onto the shoulder straps. I had to re-read it a few times….because I couldn’t quite picture it and with no coach and four at hand, I couldn’t - you know - verify anything!
But I do have to say the slap was a favorite scene for me because it brought Sebastian out of his pain. It was a master stroke as I think this next book will be. Great cover and it sounds like another winner! I can’t wait!
Meg on 05 Apr 2008 at 11:36 pm #
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new cover!!! Can’t wait to read it! Sorry that I had to miss out on the blog today; having terrible computer problems. All better now.
Anyway, you all have me cracking up right now! But I think I follow the general concensus. It’s a romance novel. Fiction. That means anything is possible. That’s part of the joy of reading, right?
Sex in a moving carriage? I would be willing to give it a try. On horseback? Maybe not. Sleeping entertwined? My husband and I would start out that way, but always end up separated. It was always nice to fall asleep in his arms.
I think vampires are cool in movies, too. But I couldn’t see myself volunteering either. I don’t even like having blood drawn at the docs office, and ya’ll know how small those needles are.
Aimee on 06 Apr 2008 at 1:02 pm #
Sex in a carriage, sure! Against a wall, absolutely yes! Stairs, yes!
On a horse, even more difficult than it sounds….
In a tree…. uhm anyone have a video?! LOL
Sleeping entertwined, no.
Vampire bite, yes please
Alpha male, got one.
Kissing first thing in the morning, EWWWWW
A stranger I’ve never met breaks into my home and tries to kiss me? Someone will have to come collect the body LOL But it’s sexy as all get-out to read!
Yeah, I’m a sucker for details in movies. A guy sprays down a room with a machine gun for like 5 straight minutes and there’s survivors?
The bus jump in Speed *groan*
LOVE this topic! Heh!
Vickie on 07 Apr 2008 at 1:35 am #
Well, first of, I am so happy to see that you tell us how the main characters meet in your new book. I guess, that would be romantic in a romance book, cause you know that it ends HEA for them. But in real life…oh please, a guy trying to break into my apartment, and I’ve got a dog, pepper spray and a baseball bat waiting for him.
Now, what’s this about hate mail? I liked that slap. Bout tme a man was put in his place.
hmm, mine would really be havign sex on a horse. Uncomfortable and wouldn’t that be akward??
Another one is vampires, yes I agree. Cause it might look hot and steamy in a book, but i highly doubt vampires would be considerate in real life.
Pesky on 13 Apr 2008 at 1:35 pm #
Umh…vampires in reality ewah!!! They suck blood! They are dead! It’s kinda like looking at the Abercrombie and Fitch ads that make me feel like a child molester.
However, the superstrong guy that treats the girl like poo and she just loves him to itsy bitsy pieces. Okay, I’m a sucker for the tortured guy. But I know for a fact in reality a guy that tortured, I’d look at and go “Get over yourself dude. I’m going over here and living my life and enjoying myself and your little smart comments to make yourself feel better by making myself feel worse and your handsome, narcisistic, self-involved little self can go over there and go to hades.” (Umh much more wordy than BYE! Later Much! Toodles and not just a little loo! said with just the right tone can convey all these emotions.)