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Lightning bolts of Zeus and other assorted instruments of discipline…

Mar 7th 2008Karen Rose
Karen RoseMy Life As A Plebe

nocellphone.jpgThe other night I was SO mad at my kid.  She’d mouthed off at me again.  So without yelling or screaming, I picked up the phone, called her cell phone provider and had her cell phone cancelled.  It felt really good.  The customer service rep for T-mobile said ruefully, “I’m glad they didn’t have cell phones when I was a teenager, because my parents would’ve cut mine off, too.”

I’m a goddess who keeps up with the times.  I mete out high-tech punishment. 

See, back in the day when I was a goddessling, I would have lost TV priviledges - all three channels.  Whoo, baby, my parents held a frightening power.  I might miss that adorable Shawn Cassidy on Hardy Boys or maybe the Love Boat on Saturday night!  I shuddered down to my shoes at the prospect.  But now … so what?  If a kid misses their shows, a friend can TiVo it for them.  Parents must ratchet up the stakes.

I’ve developed a repertoire of discipline approaches, but I’m always looking for new material.  In the past I have:
1) thescream.jpgTaken away the little memory cards for the PlayStation game, once for weeks.  No memory card, no stored games.  It’s worse than taking away the game system itself.  Bwahahaha.  Once I even threatened to ERASE the cards.  Zeus heard the ensuing wailing and gnashing of teeth all the way up on Mt. Oly.  Zeus snickered - he was impressed.  Zeus is a great fan of Halo 3 himself. 
2steveurkel.jpg) Taken all the “cool” clothes and replaced them with “nerdy” clothes.  As behavior improved, I traded back one cool article at time.  This was particularly effective.
3) Removed key grooming articles, such as hair straigheners or makeup.  This is particularly effective at achieving instantaneous results, especially in the morning, for who can leave the house looking like … like … her Mom?  (Ouch.)
4) A blog on the topic by her mom that other moms of her friends might see.  Ooooh, I like this one.

Of course there is positive reinforcement.  Consistently completed homework means a trip to that awful store that she likes, and I hate, where the music is so loud I hear the echo of it three days later.  Obedience without mouthiness … wait.  I haven’t had to reward that yet.  Maybe when she’s not 13 “and a half, Mom” anymore.

So what have you tried?  What did your mom or dad take away that made you or your siblings straighten up and fly right?  Do you ever have to discipline yourself?  What do you take away from you?  Or are you now more in the positive reinforcement vein? 

59 Comments »

59 Responses to “Lightning bolts of Zeus and other assorted instruments of discipline…”

  1. evlqn on 07 Mar 2008 at 2:57 am #

    Karen, love the taking away memory cards, thanks! What I have done is leave the game,memory cards and the PS2 right where they are , I take the controls.
    When the boys were constantly watching programs we deemed inapporpriate I went into the parental control and locked out EVERYTHING above Y7. Now they have to ask someone to unlock the tv. You have no idea how much that has curtailed viewing problems.
    When my sons were younger I had a variation on the “counting to three”, I started at two and goddess help you if I reached three.
    I also would tell them when they were getting a little out of control to look on the floor. They had obviously dropped thier manners and needed to pick them up. Recently I used that one one my youngest. He came back with “Ma I’m over thirty years old!” I told yes and manners never got out of date.
    I should discipline myself, but I’m not. I suppose I could give me a timeout.

  2. Kay on 07 Mar 2008 at 4:31 am #

    KarenR, I love the clothes thing. It worked for us–for a little while. I have done the cell phone thing, too.

    A friend of mine has teenaged girls. She swears that the best punishment is to make them wear the same outfit TWO DAYS IN A ROW. She said she only had to do it once. LOL I have boys, so that won’t work.

    evlqu, I tell my kids to go to their room–and look for a better attitude & they can come out when they’ve found it.

    I find rewards work best for me, :-)

  3. FreshEChelle on 07 Mar 2008 at 7:27 am #

    Not a parent so I’ll tell fav story from a friend. Her son went rooting around the house to find the Game Boy she took away as punishment. She came home, found him with it. His punishment was to take it to the front lawn and he was given a hammer; he was forced to destroy his favorite game.

    I love that story because it’s got all the angst of a “sophie’s choice” moment for a kid. I don’t know if the kid learned his lesson but I know never to mess with this friend.

  4. Karen Hawkins on 07 Mar 2008 at 7:28 am #

    Karen, those are AWESOME punishments! And I hear you - sometimes you have to give ‘em a good ole Mt. Oly Smackdown.

    I think boys are more difficult to punish. For one thing, they find a ball of string a ‘cool toy’ so though you may take the Xbox360, they will still manage to have a blast with the two paperclips and rubberband they found between the cushions of the couch.

    I was going to say that I don’t punish myself, but then I remembered that I’ll ban myself from watching my ’shows’ (aren’t you all so glad that cute Christian won Project Runway?) when I’m getting behind on deadline. I’ll even promise myself a reward when I get done. So yeah, I do ‘behavior modification’ on myself. I hadn’t really thought of it but — BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I’m off to put myself in the corner.

  5. Kim on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:02 am #

    Fresh–man, now having a child destroy something of their own that’s a bit mean for me. I don’t think I’d ever go that far. But I can be a push over.

    I agree with KarenH, boys are SO hard to punish. Once we did make Anthony pack up all his toys and they were put in the basement where he couldn’t get into them. He had to earn back one toy at a time with good behavior. A few months ago I took away his Ipod, PSP and computer. THAT nearly killed him because he couldn’t listen to any of his music.

    We definitely would have taken his cell phone away. We told him if we ran up a bill it’d be gone.

    Now that he can drive and has his own car we told him its zero tolerance. One ticket, one accident and he’s off our insurance.

  6. Susan K on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:03 am #

    I don’t have any kids yet but I’ll have plenty of ideas when I do!

    When I was a kid my mom would not only take the phone away if someone called for me she would tell them I couldn’t come to the phone cause I was grounded and then tell them why! It was so humiliating! Other than that she would take the tv away and ground me to my room.

  7. Gannon on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:05 am #

    Love the punishments, Karen R! I’ve used the banning of the game system before. I actually took all of the power cords and hid them. That way my son had to look at his Xbox360, but he couldn’t play it. BWAHAHAHA!!

    For my younger son, I didn’t let him play with his friends for a week. He was begging, “Mom, I’ll give up my game system for a week, but please let me play with my friends.” To which I replied, “If you don’t like the punishment, then it means I’ve chosen the right one.” Oh, the power!!!

  8. Susan K on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:05 am #

    As for myself, I do need to discipline myself sometimes but I never seem to follow through. I guess I’m just weak.

  9. MarthaH on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:41 am #

    So as I read through I realize that as my son was growing up his inducements to good behavior was rather unusual compared to everyone’s I’ve read. While he had electronic games, TV, PC in his room - I could take it all away and he wouldn’t have cared a bit - even losing his outdoor toys (quad,dirt bike, etc) couldn’t have motivated his behaviour.

    What worked? I’ll tell you - it was threatening to embarass him by showing up (unexpectedly) at school to pick him up and me behaving like a “stepford mom” all gushy wushy to my little boy! I even threatened to bring his crazy aunt with me (my girlfriend) who was always up for anything.

    Whenever his behavior would get out of control, I would begin with my “stepford mom” voice letting him know I was not happy with him and he would either roll his eyes or “oh mom” me but would immediately change his behavior.

    You know children never out grow being embarassed by their parents.

  10. KariE on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:00 am #

    I don’t recall my parents ever embarassing me as punishment. Either I was a good kid or their punishments weren’t worth remembering. I think I was a good kid.

    As for my son’s punishments, my favorite one as of late has been having him go to his room and picking out is favorite toy. When he brings it back to me we walk to the kitchen and I have him throw it away. Oh, he gets sooooooooo mad. It is only effective about once a month. He’s a smart kid. He picks up on it after the second time I tell him to get his favorite toy. After about three times of doing this, his attitude has improved greatly.
    As for counting to 3, I hold up my fingers and give him the mom face. I don’t often get past 2.

    More often than not, not being able to read has been my punishment for me. But reading is also my reward. Two ways to look at it.

  11. cail on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:03 am #

    this is really funny… i was never really punished/grounded in the way you’ve described as a kid. i got spanked and then sent to my room and that did the trick. I was a good teenager so never got any rights that i had taken away from me.

    i REALLY like the wear the outfit two days in a row punishment. now THAT is original.

    i used to really resent my friends parents for grounding them… my family felt it wasn’t fair to punish me by cancelling on my plans just because their child had behavior problems.

    i think i am really going to enjoy reading the blog today. you guys are so creative.

  12. SuzyQ on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:04 am #

    Ah yes, the gaming systems. They are definately an effective tool. I too have taken away my son’s controller. But I also had to take away the DS. He reminded me of that when I had his PS2 controller in my hand and said “fine, I still have my DS” I smiled sweetly and said “Not anymore”.

    My friend took a cue from Freaky Friday and removed her teenage daughter’s bedroom door. She told me the was the most effective punishment she ever did and now all she has to do mention the fact and her daughter listens right away.

  13. Kelly Ann on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:16 am #

    OH my gosh. I have the perfect, most horrid punishment. It happened to me, so I know it was perfectly horrid. I was grounded my entire senior year of high school. I did nothing but church activites and my only friend aloud was my mother! My parents found out I had sex with a man (who is now my ex-husband). He was 6 years older than me and I was 16 at the time. AND then, I had been accepted to a college in Georiga (we lived 13 hrs away in FL), my mom found out I had seen this man again after graduation and I was packed up & shipped off the next day to GA! Always remember - parent’s know almost everything! They were right and I’ve since told them that.

  14. Kelly Ann on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:27 am #

    On with my own punishments. My daughter is 8, my son is 10. I live to punish! brahhhhaha! I once threatened my daughter to remove everything from her bedroom except her bed. When I began removing items she straightened right up. I didn’t have to remove everything, but whenever she gets out of control I make the threat! I learned from the best, my mother. She had 6 children before me!

    All you have to do is threaten to spank my son, he’s easy. He has gotten a little mouthy lately and I’ve taken his PS2, I leave everything in his room & tell him not to touch it, true torture. I take away his 4-wheeler too. They also get extra chores, especially if I have to do one of their chores. If the chores aren’t done right the 1st time they do them until it is right. I also dole out lots of rewards, from crafts to cooking together & shopping with me. Then I treat them to a hot chocolate or treat while we’re out. I reward for behavior & grades, it’s all about teaching consequences in a loving way

  15. doglady on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:29 am #

    Great Punishment, Karen R! I think some kids would rather lose a limb than their cell phone. I think I told the story of my Mom showing up at the Dairy Queen at 1:00 AM in her housecoat, fuzzy slippers and hair in rollers. It definitely did the trick. My brothers never were somewhere they weren’t supposed to be again. When my Dad caught my brother smoking he made him smoke one cigarette after another until he was sick. Worked. None of us smoke.

    The worst? My brother was 16 and my Dad found pot in his sock drawer. My brother got home from school to locked doors. He went to a friend’s house and called. My Mom told him Dad said he could not come home. He would have to find somewhere to sleep. He could come home at 6 the next night to talk to Dad. The next night my Dad told him that if it happened again my brother would be homeless for good. He was furious. He told my brother it was the ultimate act of disrespect to bring that crap into my Mom’s house (Dad bought it, but it was always

  16. doglady on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:31 am #

    Mom’s house!) Needless to say, it never happened again. Yes, my Dad was a hard ass - 6 years army, 21 years Air Force.

    When we were kids if he said “Police your area!” that meant your room had to be spotless and the bed made. If not, he went thru the room with a trash bag and picked up everything out of place and trashed it.

  17. cail on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:36 am #

    im seriously considering calling my mother and thanking her for not punishing me as a kid… i didn’t know how good i had it…

  18. Karen Rose on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:36 am #

    Doglady - I’m assuming you meant, that dad bought the HOUSE, not the POT.

    I loved your housecoat/fuzzy slippers story. I told my daughter that one and she actually went pale.

    Great ideas, keep ‘em coming!

    On throwing away toys, I have to admit the sacriledge that I have torn up books to get my daughter’s attention. When she was younger and would start to tantrum I’d pick up one of her Golden books or something and start ripping - she loved her books! Used to sleep on the floor so teh books could have her bed. So I have committed the terrible sin of book ripping. Only had to do that a few times.

  19. Julia London on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:47 am #

    Car keys. My parents took car keys.

    We usually use the turn-off-cell approach, or the car keys. And for some of the older ones, we impound the car itself for a couple of weeks — usually at grandma’s.

    But we have found nothing works quite as well as the cell phone.

  20. Karen Hawkins on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:49 am #

    Cail, LOL! I didn’t get punished much, either, but then I didn’t deserve it because I did what I should have. But some kids need it and oh, yes, it pays to be creative!

    And KarenR, I don’t know if I could rip books just because that would hurt me more than my son. BUT, then again, if it worked and I knew it would, I’d give it a shot!

  21. Elizabeth Boyle on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:01 am #

    We currently have a Ninetendo DS that is living the high life. High enough put away where someone can’t play it. Can’t seem to remember your homework? Forgot your reading book AGAIN? Perhaps a little less DS and a little more quality time helping mom with the dishes and the laundry will get those memory neurons firing again. :)

    Oh, and I got punished heavily by loosing my car keys. We lived a good 10 miles out in the middle of nowhere and without that car, I was stuck watching the trees grow.

  22. Sabrina Jeffries on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:03 am #

    I was such a good girl that I didn’t get punished much, and although my mom used some creative punishments (having me write “I will not spit grapeseeds on the floor” 100 times–that one really worked, since I hate handwriting anything), the best one for me was a lecture. I don’t like lectures.

    Time out also always worked (although they didn’t call it that back then). I get easily bored and forcing me to sit quiet for a while with no entertainment is TORTURE.

  23. Claudia Dain on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:12 am #

    I didn’t get punished much either, not in my teen years. I did most of my naughtiness as a tiny tot and remember vividly getting my mouth washed out with soap. A lot. The last time my mother did it, she snarled, “Next time, shampoo!” That cured me!

    I wish I had good stories about electronic punishments, but we’re a very weird family in that we don’t have any electronic toys! Nothing. When my kids wanted a cell phone, they had to buy their own and get their own plan. Same with a car, and the car insurance to go with it. Our attitude was that these are not necessities, but luxuries. You want one, get a job and pay for it. They all started working at 14. Boy, does that keep them out of trouble!

  24. Kerri on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:52 am #

    My parents also used the punishment of taking away my sister’s bedroom door. She had been taking things from our rooms and just generally not respecting anyone’s privacy, so they decided she didn’t deserve any privacy. It worked!

    When I substitute teach at elementary school, I find that punishing fourth grade rowdy boys by making them hold my hand in the school hallways does wonders for their behavior. I also take away their chairs if they are tilting them back and don’t have all four feet of the chair on the ground. They learn pretty quickly what I expect of them!

  25. PJ on 07 Mar 2008 at 11:10 am #

    A couple years ago my friend’s 8 yr old daughter decided she loved three of her school outfits and hated the rest of the clothes in her closet. She would rotate the three outfits, refuse to wear any of the other clothes and throw a screaming, door slamming tantrum if her favorites were in the wash and not available. None of the punishments her mom came up with worked so, finally, after a particularly loud tantrum her mom picked her up after school, brought her home and told her to put her three favorite outfits in a bag. They then drove to the home of the daughter’s best friend where she had to tell her friend that she wasn’t allowed to wear the clothes in the bag anymore and why. Then, she had to give those favorite clothes to her best friend and tell her they were now hers. She sobbed through the entire thing and all the way home and then had to watch her best friend wear *her* favorite outfits for the rest of the school year. It was a very effective punishment.

  26. Stacy S on 07 Mar 2008 at 11:17 am #

    Man, you guys are tough! I was a good kid. I’m a pushover with my 11 year old son. The only things we do take away from him are the ps2, mp3, computer and dirt bike. When it’s his game I take the whole system from his room.

  27. ladydawgfan on 07 Mar 2008 at 11:59 am #

    I don’t remember getting into a lot of trouble as a child, probably because my older siblings did and I saw what my parents did to them as punishments. I didn’t want to go through what they did, so I did what I could to avoid it.

    However, my sister has 14 yr old boy/girl twins who are going through the adolescent attitude phase of their lives - basically their hormones are playing ping pong with their brains! Tomorrow, after everyone has chimed in with their creative punishment solutions, I will send this thread to her and let her read it, without letting the twins know about it!!! Heh!! I can just see the look on my niece’s face if my sister forces her to wear an outfit TWICE in a row!!! [cue wicked cackle . . . .]

  28. Nicole Jordan on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:30 pm #

    I agree, KarenR…. Awesome leverage!

    And the rest of you goddesses…. glad to see you have your kids’ numbers, lol.

    I used to have to go to my room and stay there. So I guess I should be glad I wasn’t raised in the era of cell phones and video games cause nobody could take those away. Of course, I was almost always an angelic child. *snort*

  29. Suzanne Enoch on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:34 pm #

    As I’m reading these, I’m realizing that I was a pretty good kid. Or lazy — I think I realized early that behaving was easier on me. *g*

  30. Santa on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:38 pm #

    Because I was a saint growing up, I never got punished. All my father would have to do was give us ‘the look’ and we knew to cut the, well, you know. My mother was never one to say wait until your father gets home, either.

    I do like these solutions. I’m printing this blog out and saving it. I am griding my loins for adolescence here. We are awash in the ‘tween’ stage here. More mornings than I can count, I send baby girl back upstairs to put something different on. I’m sorry but you do not need a camisole to gym class - in the winter. What happened to wearing a junky t-shirt? How come they haven’t brought back those one piece gym outfit with the horizontal stripes? Eye rolling is a favorite activity here - I do it all the time!

  31. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:38 pm #

    Fresh…I am ALL OVER destroying a belonging of my son’s if he deliberately disobeys me. Most recently, I took his favorite game and cut it in half. When he went to bed that night he found it majestically set upon his pillow. It was the perfect visual to communicate my attitude about parenting; “Don’t mess with me!”

    For the most part, my 14 year old boy is a good kid. He has a fresh mouth, which frankly, was a genetic certainty. However, his selective hearing wears me down. I also detest his sweeping disclaimer of “Relax, Mom. I was just joking.”

    “What a shame! You now have kitchen duty for a week just because you’re not very funny.”

  32. colinfirthfan on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:47 pm #

    I have to try the washing the mouth out with soap. My son loves to say - “Stupid”, which immediately gets the 4 yr old started on it. Guess both will be getting a good soapy mouth wash.

    When my 7 yr old is mouthing off and not listening at all, I tell him to leave the house at once. He immediately starts behaving. I have told him he can talk however he wants when he gets his own house but in this house - he needs to talk respectfully. (I haven’t had to actually send him out of the house - the threat seems to do it. I don’t use it that often). Also we punish him by telling him not to play his PS2 but leave it right there in the family room. No T.Vs in any of the bedrooms.

    In First grade he got in trouble in school twice. Once for flushing leaves down the toilet and once for washing the the bathroom mirror. Told him if he likes bathrooms so much he can clean his. So I made him clean the bathroom at home. Never got into trouble in the bathroom again.

  33. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:50 pm #

    My parents ran an “inmate work program” for the seven of us. If we acted up, we got physical labor details that would make a seasoned migrant worker beg for amnesty.

    There was this huge wood pile on our property that was moved from location to location every time my brothers acted up. Our bathrooms were always spotless because Mom would hand a tooth brush to anyone who pushed her too far. Don’t even get me started on laundry duty or kitchen duty…ten people lived in that house!

    Let me summarize: One day my teenage brother was practically in tears when charged with weeding out a much forgotten bed on the edge of the woods. The job would take him all day to complete.

    “Why can’t you just hit us like the old days,” he cried out.

    My parent’s actually laughed at that one. “Ah, the good ole days,” my Dad said.

  34. anneriailin on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    I was angelic as a child also! *snort* I got grounded quite a few times and lost my ‘going out’ priviledges. This was WAY before cell phones and electronic gadgets! We’re talking medieval times here.

    My mom was a teacher and she told all of us kids if we got punished for anything at school, we’d better prepare for something twice as bad at home. Talk about being a behaved pupil at school.

    My mom had ‘the look’ also. And if you got the FULL name, you knew you were in for it! Never in public, but she let loose once you got home!

    As for my kids, they didn’t get cell phones until they were 18 anyway. Sending them to their rooms wasn’t punishment enough, so if I had to send them someplace….I’d send one to my room and one to the bathroom. What better punishment for boys?? lol

    –dorothy

  35. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    For what it is worth…My Mom said that daughters were actually more difficult. She said they we were great kids, lousy teens and wonderful women. The trick, she added was to not kill them during the teen years.

    Another great quote:

    Grandchildren. God’s gift for not killing your teenagers.

  36. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:00 pm #

    OMG, Anne…”The Look.” (Supposedly we have all inherited it!)

    I remember fooling around in church because I was seated so far from my folks… (Remember 10 in a pew!) Anyway, Mom leaned forward and gave me the look. I spent the rest of mass praying for God’s divine intervention.

    Unfortunately, I forgot that God took Sundays off.

  37. amy1242 on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:05 pm #

    LOL, Ellen! The good ole days, indeed!

  38. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:06 pm #

    Obviously, I have a LOT of punishment stories. Now all of you know that I have been this way since birth!

    Anyway, the folks were sick of nagging me to make my bed and clean my room. When I came home from school one day, every drawer, every article from my closet, even my bed linens were dumped into a pile in the middle of the floor.

    All the sign said that was pinned to the pile was, “Clean this mess.”

  39. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:13 pm #

    Thanks so much for this blog, K-Ro. This was truly refreshing to read. I feel so much more normal when it comes to dealing with my boy.

    As for my past…As horrible as the punishments seemed at the time, I can’t help but laugh at the task set before my parents. Image having to rely on seven loud mouthed kids to all behave on any given day.

    No wonder my father wandered around the house mumbling “seven times seven.”

  40. cail on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:34 pm #

    ellen, loved you picked up my K-Ro suggestion!!

    sounds like your parents were tough!

  41. Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:46 pm #

    Yeah Cail…but I wonder if the Karens like it. LOL

    My folks had to be touch on us. We would have burned the house down without some restrictions. However, we are all grew up to be successful adults and each others best friends. Our memories of growing up are always filled with laugher.

    Besides, every time I crack down on my son’s life, I humor myself by saying “I’m not half as strict as my folks were.”

  42. Claudia Dain on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    Ellen, my mom did the Big Dump in my sister’s room. You can imagine with what horror my little neat-nic soul surveyed the damage. I’ll never forget it. My sister was literally speechless.

    My sister’s crime was that, while my mother did the laundry every day, folded it, brought it upstairs, and put it in a nice pile on our dressers, our job was to put the clothes away. My sister had been opening her drawers a scant two inches and stuffing it in. My mom was furious that the tiny bit at the end of the laundry chore line had been muffed. How hard is it to open your drawers?

    You can tell who’s side I was on!

  43. Claudia Dain on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:56 pm #

    Tips for the soap in mouth punishment: grind the soap over the back of the teeth. This assures maximum coverage and is nearly impossible to remove. Water rinsing only makes it worse. You have to scrape it off with a dry towel, repeatedly. The soap taste lasts for hours.

    I have scads of experience at this, trust me.

  44. Lisa H on 07 Mar 2008 at 2:17 pm #

    I am eagerly taking notes today!

    I just take my son’s cell phone away from him. I hide it for a couple of days, and you will be amazed at how his behavior improves.

    I have also taken his game boy and his TV. My daughter is more difficult to discipline, but I find by tripling her chores I can get the desired results.

    I do punish myself. I LOOOOVE buying clothes, I am a sale-a-holic, spending only $10.00 and coming home with a new outfit. But I never buy anything over a size 12. When I start porking out due to consuming massive amounts of tortilla chips, and my clothes get tight, I make myself suffer until I lose the weight. I refuse to go into a 14. I only wish I took this approach back when I was a size 6!

  45. Julia London on 07 Mar 2008 at 2:20 pm #

    Claudia, what exactly were you saying that required so much soap??

  46. Kathy/Cookiedough on 07 Mar 2008 at 2:49 pm #

    being the youngest of seven, I think my mother was exhausted by the time it came to me. My brother and I were a little under 2 yrs apart, with a jump to 5yrs to the next son up.
    We had five moms to deal with.
    the real one and then four sisters to corral us. We got away with nothing!
    Dad was the enforcer with a foul temper when he got going, but lucky it took a lot to get him going.
    I take after him.
    Those were the days of a good smack on the bum, and go to your room.
    Once my brother and I were fighting over a Monster Mash 45. My mom got so annoyed, she took the record and broke it half and gave each one a piece.
    Stopped us cold.

  47. Claudia Dain on 07 Mar 2008 at 3:07 pm #

    Oh, Julia, dear Julia. I would tell my mom to SHUT UP. Shout it, actually. I was 5, 6? I would flat out tell my parents NO.

    “Go to your room!”

    NO!

    “Leave the table!”

    NO!

    To all the stories of parents “making” you clean or sit or stay…I would simply refuse, loudly and often. I was, as my parents would say with a laugh, “A pistol.”

    How did they win? They never gave up and they never gave in. By the time I was 12, I’d learned that fighting back, while entertaining, was useless. I had the most docile teen years imaginable.

  48. Karen Rose on 07 Mar 2008 at 3:24 pm #

    All - this is a great series of posts. I was the goody-2-shoes kid. I never talked back, never got in trouble. This is TRUE. My mother’s not sure what happened to me, LOL.

    Ellen, I can’t get my kids to clean their rooms, because my room is about as bad. (Ack, don’t tell my mother. I have to get it clean before she comes in May. I have weeks, right!)

    My mother favored flyswatters back in the day. She had two - one was clean for our bottoms and one was dirty - for the flies. I don’t think I ever got smacked with it, but my sister did.

    Claudia, I can see you being a pistol. There’s a devil sparkle in your eyes :-)

    K-Ro? Dunno if i like it or not. Makes me feel like I should be a rapper or something. Let me sleep on it.

  49. evlqn on 07 Mar 2008 at 3:33 pm #

    If we were fighting our mom would make us sit in chairs facing one another with our knees touching.We were not allowed to talk, move, giggle,make faces or any other thing that would vaguely entertain us. Just sit there and touch knees looking at that creep that got us in trouble.
    I tried that with my sons, they hated it as much as I did.
    That’s the thing about discipline,use what worked with you. While we never put the kids down, I have been known to turn around and ask if they had been washing there brains in hot water because they has obviously shrunk.

  50. DebMarlowe on 07 Mar 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    Oh, man, you guys are harsh!

    My friend had a teenage son. They found out he was sneaking out at night. He was 16/17 or so, with driving privileges. The parents pretended to go to bed, but snuck out to the car and hid in the back seat. When Mr. Sneaky climbed down out of his room and headed for the car, they waited until he was in and started the car, then popped up, cheerful as can be and asked where they were going.

    Scared the crap out of him!

  51. Marie on 07 Mar 2008 at 4:31 pm #

    No kids. Don’t get punished. I’m innocent or spoiled I haven’t figure out which yet.

  52. Claudia Dain on 07 Mar 2008 at 4:47 pm #

    KarenR, I’m still a pistol. Saying no to anyone, about anything has never been a problem for me. LOL

  53. Marie on 07 Mar 2008 at 4:56 pm #

    I just read through and I had never heard of being grounded for having sex. I love my mom all the more after reading these.

  54. Aimee on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:11 pm #

    I didn’t stay at home long enough to be disciplined…

    When my 16 yr old kid gets out of line, usually grades… I take away the dvd player, and the iPod, that makes her bedroom retreat unbearable. Now that we have bought her a car, and she just got her license I think that will be great leverage for keeping grades up and chores done. She’s really easy, but moody…
    Hmm wonder where she got that? *snicker*

    She disobeyed our “no text messaging boys” rule, right after I had just bought her an LGnv phone, and I shut it off completely & sold the phone on craigslist LOL

    I have found that having a “rep” for sticking to what you say you’re going to do, is the best weapon of all so far…

  55. ronlyn on 07 Mar 2008 at 8:48 pm #

    I am rolling at these stories…while copiously taking notes for future refrence. Luckily my oldest is only 4 and time outs in the corner are the most effective form of punishment. That and my “crazy eyes” which whip him right into shape. *G*

  56. FreshEChelle on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:23 pm #

    How do I discipline myself? Never! In college, I was forced to read The Book of Margery Kemp twice which in and of itself means I’m entitled to a lifetime of rewards. She was a devoutly religious woman/borderline nutcase who punished herself for everything by wearing hairshirts and self-flagelating (sp?) and then committed the sin of vanity by writing her autobiography about her piety/human failings. So you see, being subjected to read it TWICE, means no more self-discipline.

  57. Audrey on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:45 am #

    Man, I wish I had some of these posts when our youngest was a teen - she was very rebellious. The only thing that straightened her out was that we would just go to the mat when we put our foot down. So, if we said no party, and she went anyway, Dad’d show up and haul her out. Or if you lie and say you’re sleeping at a friends and go out or something, no more sleepovers, ever. She finally just gave up.

    We didn’t have as much technology when the older two were teens. I remember one time locking the computer (for you babies reading, back in the eighties, they actually had a little lock and key) when my son did something wrong. So he dismantled the computer, disconnected the lock, and put it back together. It was hard to punish him (I managed, though) because I was so proud that he knew how to do that.

  58. Karen Rose on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:49 am #

    Audrey - I hope your son grew up to be an engineer or something, LOL. Unfortunately, I remember the computer lock very well.

    Thanks, everyone - it’s good to know I am not alone! Good luck with kids, nephews, nieces, etc.

  59. evlqn on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:59 am #

    Audrey, I understand your pride in your son’s ability. My sons would come home from school and call one of thier friends who had a computer, we didn’t, and they would program it with him over the phone. I can barely poinnt and click yet today.I’m thinking of taking some classes in computer use though because there are several things I want to be able to do that I can’t now.
    We have tried many things over the years, some worked others not so much.
    When all other arguements have been exhausted and the kids want to know why they have to do something they don’t want to I simply tell them, “Because I’m mean, evil, nasty , cruel and rotten. Next question.”