Mt. Oly welcomes Guest Goddess Sophia Nash: Surrendering to Embarrassment
Mar 6th 2008
Karen RoseGuest Goddesses
Sophia was born in Switzerland, raised in France and the United States, but says her heart resides in Regency England. Her ancestor, an infamous French admiral who traded epic cannon fire with the British Royal Navy, is surely turning in his grave. Before pursuing her long held dream of writing, Sophia was an award winning television producer, a congressional speechwriter, and a CEO of the Washington International Horse Show. She lives in the Washington, D.C. suburbs with her husband and two children. Sophia first three novels won eight national awards, including Romance Writers of America’s RITA Award, Romantic Times’ Best Regency Award, and a spot on Booklist’s “Top Ten Romances of the Year.” Her most current novel, THE KISS, was released by HarperCollins just last week!
Welcome, Sophia!!
Often, I think life is nothing more than a haphazard game of chance filled with unspeakably embarrassing moments which frequently end in disaster. Yes, I am one of those, “the glass is half full types” ;-} As a result, it should come as no surprise that in my March Historical release, The Kiss, the heroine is saddled with great moments of embarrassment. But I think this makes her happily ever after all the more poignant, don’t you? Isn’t that why we cheer when Mark Darcy kisses Bridget Jones?
I think we should applaud our embarrassments. If there is any justice in the world, a gross amount of hideous incidents should result in our own happily ever afters. Well, since I was invited here to entertain you, and the fact that all the other guest goddesses have stripped the vine bare of details concerning the boring life of a writer, I propose that we dissect our own perfect moments of horror.
Now I’m not talking about simple embarrassments, like the time I fell over an uprooted palm tree while reporting live on camera during a hurricane in Miami. I’m talking about events that haunt you to the grave.
For example, I shall never forget the last interview I endured for a top secret security clearance while working for the federal government. 
I walked into a bare room and came face to face with one of the most incredibly handsome men I’ve ever met. He proceeded to tell me that he was tasked to ask very explicit questions to determine if candidates were blackmail risks. Now try and image Mr. Pierce Brosnan look-alike with the Welsh burr asking the most embarrassing sexual questions possible: who, what, where, how often-lassie, what positions, experimentation and much worse…well, I almost passed out from the tension. 
After about the tenth question I think I called him laddie inadvertently and began to laugh uncontrollably. How I passed the clearance interview, I’ll never know. I still have nightmares about the possibility of running into that blue-eyed Welshman again.
Alright, I’ve spilled my Bridget Jones moment, what’s your all time most embarrassing event? And do you think experiences like these make you a stronger/better person? Or maybe gives you an extra straw in drawing one of life’s hard-won happily ever afters?
102 Comments »
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:21 am #
Welcome, Sophia! I’m still laughing at the image of you being interviewed by Mr. Secret Agent Man. I don’t have anything to remotely compare to this - or if I do, I’ve blanked it from my mind!
Okay, totally embarrassing was the time I gulped down a Hurricane at Pat O’Briens in New Orleans when RWA was there several years back. I didn’t know Hurricanes had FIVE FREAKING SHOTS OF RUM. It tasted like Hawaiian Punch - really! Add to this no dinner in my stomach and a really hot night and, well it wasn’t my bosoms that were heaving, let me tell you.
To make a long story shorter than Sharon Stone’s dress, I ended up moaning in humiliated agony as our designated walker (nobody was driving) patted my hand and assured me I was not the first person to throw up in a New Orleans gutter.
I’ve tried repeatedly to blank this from my mind, but my RWA roomies continue to remind me. That’s a true friend for you.
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:24 am #
PS, it did not make me a stronger better person, but it did cure me from gulping Hurricanes on hot nights on an empty stomach. Especially if there are witnesses about.
PS2: Do you think they recorded the interview “for quality assurance and training purposes?” I bet there’s a videotape in that warehouse in DC with the Ark of the Covenant and the Stargate. What’m'I bid, people?
Kim on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:33 am #
SOPHIA!!!! Welcome to the MT, dahling! You truly are a Goddess!
hmm, I’m remembering a moment last year with you and Miz Caskie at lunch. Wasn’t there talk of how to off someone in front the Secretary of Defense (or someone like that)?
For my own embarrassing moment, what about last summer when I fell flat on my face right in front of you and Cowboy Bob? UGH! Yes, I’m still haunted by those memories and unlike KarenR I don’t need anyone to remind me. Thank gawd those pictures have never surfaced *g*
Note to self: Learn from KarenR. Do NOT gulp down Hurricanes no matter how yummy they are.
Marie on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:02 am #
Favorite embarrassing drunken tale? 2 weeks ago I drank too much. Drove home and the next morning I found that I had a sprained ankle. Now explain that one to your mom.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:30 am #
Welcome Sophia to MT Oly.
My embarrasing moment…..gosh it was horrible. This happened about 3 1/2 years ago. First let me tell you that I am terrified of spiders, like in phobia. Well this afternoon i was at my cousins house. I was wearing jeans and a lime green halter top. I was sitting on the sofa and had taken off my shoes. i was talking to her but I kept feeling something on my chest. Well after much scratching I was finally fed up and decided to look down my blouse to see what was bothering me. We had been in her garden earlier and when I looked down I a brown spider. I immediately stood fisted the front of my shirt with my bra and spider squished somewhere in there. Mean while I was jumping up and down and crying trying to undo my bra so that I could take the blasted shirt off. My cousin was just shocked at my impromtu strip. Half my shirt was over my head when she tells me to stop that the neighbors were staring. I had forgotten that all her windows and curtains.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:38 am #
so imagine me running down to her bedroom but before I get there I fall flat on her floor. I was wearing only socks and she had tile floors. I never let go of my fist. Once I got to her bedroom I took everything off including my pants. Dont ask me why but I did only give and eyefull of my self to the kids in the backyard. I’ve done alot of things because of my phobia this was by far the worst.
I never stopped to think that the thing was probably dead inside the fist of clothing.
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:05 am #
Welcome Sophia!
Karen have you ever tried a Jenny Wallbanger? It’s a Harvey Wallbanger but you use ice cream instead of orange juice. Trust me girl you NEVER see it coming!
am of the opinion, if it has more than 4 legs it is not my friend , therefore I am not required to be friendly.
My youngest son brought on my moment of embarrassment. We had just left his doctor’s office in Beverly Hills and were on the way to the car. My little darling ,four at the time, was running from the side of the buildings to the curb. I had just used my “Mommy voice” on him when he ran into a man walking down the street. You know where the man got hit, yep that’s the place. I am picking my son off the sidewalk and apologizing profusely to the gentleman. When I hear this wonderfully familiar British accent telling me it is alright. I look up into the face of Fred Astair. In total mortification I told him, “I commit suicide on command.” He assured me I didn’t need to fall on my sword.
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:22 am #
Oh, Evlqn - what an incredible story! Very cool!
I had a somewhat similar experience. A VERY well-known horror/thriller author happened to be shopping in my neighborhood bookstore. I’d lost sight of my daughter who was much younger then. I knew she’d be sitting somewhere in the store reading, but she’s deaf and I couldn’t call to her. I had to visually locate her. So I’m walking through the store, bent at the waist, my eyes at kid-level when I see this pair of shoes. I look up, up, up and see Stephen King. I’d come inches from head butting the poor man in the gut.
I was mortified! I stuttered an apology saying I was looking for my child. He smiled and was gracious. Mercy. I dreamed about demon cars that night, LOL.
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:23 am #
And no, Evlqn - I’m done with drinks I don’t see coming. I can be taught. Yep.
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:43 am #
I hear ya, last time I got blindsided by the demon rum I woke up married and it was not to my fiance. Absolute truth! I no longer imbibe.
Gannon on 06 Mar 2008 at 7:17 am #
Hi, Sophia! I love all of these stories, especially Karen Rose’s and eviqn’s.
Once I have more caffeine, I’m sure I can think of numerous embarrassing stories, but the one that immediately comes to mind is an incident from high school….MANY years ago! We were changing classes and I was walking downstairs, talking to my friends and missed a step and fell down several stairs! Completely mortifying, but I never dropped my books. *g* In the process, I managed to wrench my ankle and ended up on crutches for several days.
Note to self: Don’t try to walk and talk at the same time.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:07 am #
one drunken story and one sober story, coming up
Drunk story:
I used to be a party girl. Everyone in their 20s was, I’m sure. My problem is that I would be ill quite often during my party times. So I’m at my favourite club, needing to be in bathroom stall. I remember my friend trying to get me out so she could help me get home. She got a bouncer to come into the washroom and he tried talking me out. Me in my drunken wisdom, was sitting down with my eyes firmly shut, singing to myself, convinced I wouldn’t throw up if I did that. He could not talk me out. As he walked away I heard him say, 2 yrs of Psych, should have taken 2 more.
Sober:
When rushing home from my boyfriend’s house to mine when I was 19, I crashed into a man coming out of a church hall. He stumbled, I fell. He helped me up and tried to shake my hand. I looked up at his face and discovered it was Brian Mulroney. He wasn’t Prime Minister yet, and was campaigning in my small town. I was stunned.
cail on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:17 am #
evlqn, if you don’t tell us that marriage story, i think i’ll be distracted all day long!
my most embarrassing not mentally blocked story happened during my first month or so of work after college. I went to the restroom before i left work, said goodbye to my coworkers on my way out, left the building saying goodbye to security, then started walking along the street. at which point, a nice gentleman started honking and yelling at me, and finally said ‘miss your skirt is tucked in your tights!’
somehow NO ONE decided it was proper to point this out to me. i was mortified.
DebMarlowe on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:31 am #
Welcome Sophia!
evlqn–I swear they should make a movie of your life! Spill on the demon rum and the marriage! And tell us who you want to play you. Hee hee.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:50 am #
Hi everybody…
So happy to be with all of you! Yes, there are days when I am convinced that I suffer more humiliation than most people. And unfortunately, most of my friends have razor sharp memories and they love to remind me of all those lovely moments.
Kim mentioned one of a couple of months ago. I was having lunch with fellow author, Kathy Caskie, and we were talking about the characters in our works-in-progress. Without thinking, I told Kathy,” I hate her. Loathe her. I swear I’m going to kill her.” Kathy replied, “How’re you going to do it?” I said, “Can’t decide. Maybe with a very, very sharp knife. There’ll be lots of blood and very painful.” At that point we noticed it had become very quiet in the restaurant - and then we realized that a White House Cabinet member was staring at us from the next table. I nearly died laughing…
elsiehogarth on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:04 am #
Allo, Allo Sophia! Bienvenue!
My most embarassing moment also involves drinking…my 2 cousins and I were travelling home, from Europe, and we got bumped up to First Class. As you all know First Class is non stop eating and DRINKING. I also have to plead an empty stomach before getting on the plane….so I didn’t need to throw up just,go to the bathroom due to consuming so much liquid. I did go to the bathroom but I just left the door open and everyone kept on walking by and looking in until my cousin saw what was going on and closed the door for me. After that it was hot coffee until we landed.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:04 am #
All of your stories are cracking me up! I’m a lightweight when it comes to alcohol so I know better than to have more than one. But there was one time I had to for my job! I was responsible for raising gobs of money for a non-profit organization. One of the sponsors we were courting was a famous beer company. Now, if there’s one thing I hate to drink, it’s beer. Totally makes me gag. But there I am in their executive lounge and the sponsor places an enormous glass of beer in front of me. I kept staring at it and forcing myself to drink what I thought would be a polite amount: half a glass. Just when I think “thank God I don’t have to drink another drop of the vile stuff,” the VP takes the glass & says, “let me top that off for you.” When the president of our non-profit walked out of the meeting with me, he said, “Congratulations on getting the account. I don’t think they noticed by the way.” And I said, “Noticed what?” He replied, “That your face turned green 10 minutes ago.”
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:07 am #
Oh, Sophia, welcome to my world! I have a friend I bounce story ideas off. She was at a party one afternoon when I called her cell to see if she thought the ending I’d planned for DIE FOR ME made logical sense. (You know, there’s the timing and placement. Who gets shot, when and where?) She said people at the party were staring at her with horror. She made it a point to tell them about my books, so it was a good marketing move, LOL. I hope you gave that cabinet member a bookmark to remember you by!!
Sometimes she and I are at a restaurant with my DH and we into plot mode. DH looks around and assures the other patrons that we are writers, not homicidal maniacs. With his sweet face, everybody is reassured and goes back to their meals.
So tell us about THE KISS!
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:10 am #
evlqn!
What a brilliant response to Fred! I would have been completely tongue-tied. That’s the reason I love to write, I think. I can take hours and hours to come up with the perfect response to any situation. In real life, I end up blinking rapidly and stuttering.
What about all of you?
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:15 am #
Hi Gannon!
Have you ever noticed that there are 2 types of people in this world? The ones who rush over to help someone who has made a fool of themselves falling down - and then the ones who start to giggle? I always wonder what weird gene causes people to do the latter…
KariE on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:17 am #
Welcome Sophia!!
My open mouth insert foot moment happened back in October. I was on vacation, back to my very small home town, at a hair dressers. As I was getting my hair cut I looked across to the opposite station and on the floor was a bunch of hair that had been cut off a woman. I said to my hair dresser that it looked like a dog had just got groomed (becuase the hair was mostly white with a bit of gray in it). She kinda laughed at me and said “Yea, it does, doesn’t it?” Not 20 seconds later the woman plops down into the seat and resumes getting her hair did. I felt horrible. I didn’t talk the rest of the time.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:26 am #
Karen…
OK, about THE KISS. It’s a story about unrequieted love, something most people experience at least once in their lifetime. I’d always wanted to explore the plot of a strong, deserving heroine who has secretly been in love forever with the hero. I had no idea how tough it was going to be to write a story like that. And yes, the heroine’s life has been one embarrassing moment after another. In the “meet cute” scene, she is in a pig sty, dripping in mud and the moment she has waited for for 15 years arrives: the hero returns…And it only gets worse. But I realize now that perhaps all her social disasters only serves to make her happily ever after all the sweeter. What do you think? So far, all the reviews have been remarkably kind.
Lisa H on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:33 am #
Hi Sophia - welcome! I saw you at the NJ RWA conference in the fall. You are just as beautiful as talented. I can’t wait to read your latest!
Karen R - I can’t believe you nearly head-butted Stephen King’s gut… Maybe he’ll write about a “crazy hurrican drinking author who chases children around bookstores” someday. Even though I am strictly a Historical genre girl, I LOVE Stephen King—he is so dedicated and talented!
Anyway, I often put my foot in my mouth! So many instances, and truly it isn’t funny. I saw a Tee-Shirt last night that said, “If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth.” That would be good advice for me!
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:35 am #
Bonjour Elsie!
Yeah, airplanes are always a good bet for disaster. I’ve only had one bad experience. About 20 years ago a friend who was a pilot flew a group of us to a small island for a weekend of rugged camping & exploration. I ended up in the co-pilot seat since it was a small plane. He kept circling the landing area and talking into the gadget using that strange “pilot code” language. Finally, he muttered a few curses and we landed. It was only then that we realized there was not a soul in the control tower yet there were about 15 planes circling overhead - all trying to receive permission to land! Talk about the laid-back island mentality…
SnikyWhite on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:37 am #
I have two. One is quite innocent…the other? Well, you’ll see.
In high school, I played the role of Grandma in a twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood. Instead of being eaten by the wolf, I was to jump out of bed and beat the snot out of wolfie. Well on the day of the performance for the 2nd grade, I forgot to bring the shorts for under my nighty. I jump out of bed, and do the scene as I’m supposed to…go back stage and EVERYONE is talking about how I flashed the audience. Apparently our little G rated play got a little racy with me as Granny.
There was a time in my life that I was the “other woman.” (not something I’m proud of AT ALL) but his wife knew and said as long as he came home to her, then she had no problems with his running around. One of the most humiliating moments in my life was when I was with him and she called to make sure I had “fed the lizard.” I was humiliated in a way I can’t fully explain and it ended then and there. Never again.
doglady on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:38 am #
Welcome, Sophia. LOVE your books. Ladies, Sophia is a class act. A bookstore owner friend of mine went to an event in New York and told Sophia about my hopes to get published. Sophia autographed a copy of Dangerous Beauty with best wishes for my writing career. Can’t wait to read THE KISS.
Note to self. Throw a cocktail party, invite the Goddesses and their minions and make sure the cameras are rolling. Eviqn, YOU will be the star!
On my first English fox hunt I took a hedge that my horse didn’t. The bad part? I got stuck in the hedge and had to have some of my fellow hunters stop to pull me out! See a 9 year old me head sticking out of one side of the hedge, legs out of the other. 40 years later and I can still see it.
Back stage at the Salzburg Opera House my leading man rips his tights in a very strategic place. We both are supposed to be back on stage in minutes. No spare tights backstage. So, while I hold his “equipment” in place a seamstress sews him back into his tights.
KariE on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:38 am #
Sophia, I think I get struck with the stupid stick whenever I need a good/witty/clever response. They always hit me and hour, day or even a week later. It is frustrating!!
doglady on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:43 am #
Our director AND a local reporter stroll up. The director tries to steer the reporter away and says the German equivalent of “Not to worry. She has it all well in hand!” The rest of the opera was an experience. Trust me!
KarenR knows my story of racing funeral home gurneys down the hall and stairs of the funeral home and looking up to see the funeral home director (visualize a cadaver in a Sears and Roebuck suit) at the bottom of the stairs.
As I don’t drink my embarrassing moments are all confronted stone cold sober!
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:45 am #
Doglady - I always thought that was just socks. Now I know the truth!
Sophia - I love unrequited love stories. I’m going to get my THE KISS this weekend and I’d like it autographed, please. I’ll bring it with me to the WRW retreat and ply you with beer. Snicker. I’ll get a good personal inscription that way.
Sophia is truly a classy lady, which is why her embarrassments are even funnier.
Nicole Jordan on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:11 am #
Welcome to Mt. Oly, Sophia! Your background is so cool. And THE KISS sounds delicious! Thanks for telling us about it. Now I would love to hear about direct the WI Horse Show. What an achievement! I’m a horse nut and love anything horsey.
And all these embarassing stories….I’ve been laughing out loud all morning.
Probably my most awful moment was during a ballet performance during high school. Got really dizzy when I was twirling around and fell flat on my tush. I can still hear the gasps of the audience to this day.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:48 am #
Yasmin-
Loved the bug story! My weird phobia is frogs. I know, I know. I’m half French so I SHOULD NOT have a frog phobia! But I lived in Miami for a long time and they have these hideous creatures called bufo toads there. They are the size of small dinner plates and they’re poisonous. One night I was chatting on the phone while sitting inside a netted pool area at a friend’s house. All of a sudden I feel something splat right on my head. Yup, a gigantic bufo toad had fallen through the netting. I screamed and threw my hands in the air - and the phone went flying into the pool! I still get chills when I think about that slimy thing!
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:52 am #
Doglady!
I want to hear about your writing! You are clearly a great storyteller from your 2 hilarious stories. You had to hold his equipment? Oh my. Must have been very large if you had to hold it still ;-}
Gannon on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:57 am #
Sophia, I think it’s the reason “America’s Funniest Home Videos” was so popular. Did you ever notice that most of the videos were of people falling, etc.? And of course, everyone howled with laughter. Go figure!
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:03 am #
Nicole,
SO great to see you here! Love, love, love your books! Your ballet story sounds painfully embarrassing. I once saw an entire LINE of professional ballet dancers (in Miami) have a “domino-all fall down” moment. During Swan Lake. The strangest thing ever. I felt SO sorry for them.
Weirdest Washington International Horse Show moment was when the stable manager called me at 3am one morning to ask me what I wanted to do about a champion hunter who had just had “his tail cut off.” Yes, some horrid person had snuck into his stall and cut it off. I first asked if there was blood, and thank God there was not. They had snipped off the hair only. But anyone who attends horse shows knows that hunters are also judged on appearance - and clearly this was a case of someone trying to devalue the horse. The judges agreed the animal could wear a false tail piece. Yes, there is such a thing!
Sabrina Jeffries on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:07 am #
Welcome, Sophia!! So glad to have you here!
My embarrassing moments usually involve tripping and falling in front of dozens of people. I know there have been plenty of foot-in-mouth episodes as well, but I can’t remember them! I think I put embarrassing moments right out of my mind.
I must say I have learned not to drink at conference. If my career is going well, it’s fine, but if it’s not, I whine to my editors and that’s NOT a good idea. So I drink at conference only when I’m happy. *G*
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:09 am #
SnikyWhite-
“Fed the lizard?” Wow. That is a classic line. Isn’t it strange how three words can pack such a punch? I never ever bought into that whole “sticks and stones” line. Words are, indeed, the most powerful weapon we all possess, don’t you think?
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:09 am #
I hate it that I have this phobia, makes me the butt of jokes. Once at my grandpa’s house in Mexico I was in the shower and there was a huge one. i just ran out wrapped in a towel. Turned out to be fake my little brother was playing a joke.
By the way I read the excerpt on The Kiss it sounds like a awesome book. just waiting for the UPS guy to deliver.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:13 am #
Love the “drinking” stories. I am one of those people that I fall asleep if i start getting drunk. I dont throw up, no outrageous actions I am just sitting there one minute conversating the next slouching falling asleep.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:18 am #
Hi Sabrina!
I had so much fun with you at the WRW Harper’s Ferry retreat! And at RWA. So will you be at RT in April or at RWA in San Fran? I really want to get a group together to do something fun like the mechanical bull riding we did in Dallas!
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:23 am #
Yasmin,
I’m sure you’ve seen the Woody Allen movie - the one with the hilarious scene that features him going after a spider in a bathroom with a tennis racquet? Loved that scene almost as much as the one where he pretends to entice an errant lobster behind a refrigerator with some melted butter?
Re the drinking and falling asleep. I remember a friend of mine telling me that when she was 14 she decided to surreptitiously drink for the first time with a group of friends. One of the friends said she had heard that the best way to get drunk was to drink a teaspoon at a time - i.e. very slowly. My friend said that none of them got drunk - but they all woke up with a terrific hangover!
Lisa H on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:26 am #
doglady - why couldn’t the leading man hold his own “equipment”? LOL!
Julia London on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:32 am #
Hi Sophia and welcome to Mt. Oly! We should trade war stories some day — I worked for the White House one million years ago and likewise endured the security clearance interviews…only no handsome men did mine. More like Brunhilda wanted to know who I’d sleep with, LOL.
My most embarrassing moment is backing into a guy’s BMW — twice. Once because I didn’t see him, twice because I was so flustered I put the car in reverse instead of drive and nailed him again while he stood there watching me. It was classic embarrassing stupidity, and for at least one man, I perpetuated the female driver stereotype.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:33 am #
Hi Lisa H.-
NJRW put on a great conference this past year, didn’t they? It was the first time I went and I hope to go again. I had the worse case of the dizzies there while trying to do a couple of “stand-ups” for Romance Novel TV. I think I did about 30 takes on a couple of lines…I don’t know what came over me. I’ve been living in fear, ever since, that RNTV is going to do a hilarious out-take feature on that alone!
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:38 am #
Julia, this happened to me, too, but not with a BMW. I had to drive across this very narrow bridge on my way home from school in HS. I drove my parent’s 1967 Pontiac Catalina which for you young pups, is a tank. I’m so short I had to sit on a pillow to see over the steering wheel. One day I was coming over this bridge, wearing my Pizza Hut uniform as I’d just come from work, and a truck came from teh other direction.
I totally overcompensated, (Maybe the pillow shifted, don’t know, LOL) and hit the side of the bridge. I got so flustered. I backed up and did it again. I started to hyperventilate, backed up and hit the bridge a third time. I finally got teh Pontiac rolled off teh bridge - the whole fender was an accordian.
And guess who saw me? The cop who was right behind me the whole time. He thought I’d been drinking, then took pity when he saw I was really just a terrified HS kid. He took me in the cruiser (only time I’ve ever been in a police car) back to my mom.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:45 am #
Hi Julia!
Loving Mt. Oly. The air is so clean up here. And I think there’s abit of laughing gas mixed in ;-}
I can’t believe you were in the White House. I worked for a Florida congressman and then USIA (a branch of the State Department). And every time I tell the story about the security clearance no one believes that they would dare ask those questions. I tried to keep it PG-13 here but seriously, were you not mortified by the questions? It felt like I was being taped for some kind of X-rated Candid Camera. And the strangest part was that I could tell he wanted to ask me out (I was single then)- and he was just about the best looking guy I’d ever seen - but there was just no way I could go out with a man who had just grilled me like a Texas-style BBQ and knew more about me than my own mother.
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:21 pm #
Okay here it is Goddesses. When I was younger (much) I lived in Cheyenne Wy. I was engaged to a guy at FE Warren AFB. I don’t know what it’s like now but then there was nothing for you to do in Cheyenne but party. I had an arguement with my guy (Al) and then went out with friends to drink and dance. We had a long weekend so we spent it having fun. Somewhere in there someone came up with the BRILLIANT idea, Joe and I should get married. It seemed like a good idea to a drunk but there was a waiting period in Wyoming. There isn’t in Colorado though. We jump into some cars drive to Greeley and walk into the courthouse for a marrying. Don’t ask me why someone there did not refuse to perform the ceremony since the entire group was sh**faced. Did I mention we partied all the way to and from? Four days later I am finally sober enough to go realize what I had done. Then I had to tell Al and my dad who loved Al and hated Joe.
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:29 pm #
I saw Al one more time after that. I had heard from friends that he went out and got married too, i guess that showed me! Anyway my best friend from high school was visiting her guy and Al walked over to say hi. I asked him if he was happy. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I’m as happy as you are.” He turned around and walked away. I never saw him again.
And whoever does my life, such as it is,has to be short. I used to be 5′3″ I am now 5′1″.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:37 pm #
Karen— your story just reminded me of my ride in the police cruiser. My mom and my sis had gone out to the mall and I was left behind as a punishment. I was a senior in high school but was under age. Well I called a guy friend to pick me up and went to the movies. i didnt answer the cell nor called home to let them know I was okay. It was dark by the time we came out of the theater and went out to walk by the park. As it turns out being at a public park after dusk is tresspasing. I was cuffed and patted down and taken home in the cruiser. To make it worse the cops made sure everyone in our apts knew by having their lights on. The neighbors were all hanging over the railing. I received 2 tickets, one tresspasing and another for city curfew. It was so embarrasing. My guy friend was overage and only received one but when i went to school the following monday morning I had to endure all my friends asking where I had gone to and all the innuendos
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:41 pm #
Elvqn— that takes me out of the running. I am almost 5′7
Julia London on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:53 pm #
Sophia, I was so young and green I was shocked by the questions. I kept thinking, do people actually DO that? Brunhilda was no nonsense about it, too — I don’t think it would have fazed her in the least whatever I may have answered, LOL
KarenR — you and I should not be flustered on the same highway at any point in our lives!!
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:58 pm #
Yasmin, if you canmake me look good even at my most idiotic height doesn’t matter.
LauraR on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:13 pm #
ah evlqn my heart goes out to you.
Claudia Dain on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:23 pm #
Welcome, Sophia!! What a fun blog, and I’m learning stuff…wow, am I learning stuff!
First, I would give my left index finger to have come within ten feet of Fred Astaire. To actually have spoken to him? I’m in awe.
My most embarrassing moment? I have so many to choose from! I wish I could say liquor was involved but I’m a total lightweight and never drink much. Nope, it’s all me.
There was the time a bee flew down my shirt and I jumped off my bicycle and starting stripping down right there, layer after layer, screaming, until I was sure the bee was out.
I was 20, btw, and when I’d stopped my panic strip, there was a crowd of 20-something guys around me, clapping, yelling, “Don’t stop!”
Yeah. Embarrassing.
Karen Hawkins on 06 Mar 2008 at 1:57 pm #
Welcome to Mt. Oly, Sophia! We’re so glad you stopped by! And people, if you haven’t read Sophia’s work before, you MUST! They’re AWESOME!
evinq, what did you do then? Stay with Joe? Annul? Did Al forgive you? Please tell us!
I can’t believe how many embarrassing moments you guys have had! Fortunately I’m a paragon of grace and — Ok, the truth is that there are so many that I can’t decide which actually qualifies as ‘most.’
Ok, here it is. Me. Uber pair of chic high heels. Uneven tile in a hotel foyer. Trip! Stumble forward, stumble forward (while gaining speed) until SPLAT! I land FACE DOWN in my boss’s lap.
It wasn’t pretty. But he laughed until he cried and I DID get a bonus that year.
Just sayin’!
RachelG on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:02 pm #
I’ve blocked all embarrassing and drunken moments from my brain. Although last week I was in a restaurant talking about a book I’d just read that went into great and PAINFUL detail about anal stretching. I guess I wasn’t being as quiet as I thought because the elderly gentleman said something about it as he was leaving. I really hadn’t meant to offend anyone and was pretty embarrassed. What Mr G says about me is so true. I shouldn’t leave the house.
rachel gibson
Suzanne Enoch on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:27 pm #
Welcome, goddess Sophia! I can only imagine the feelings of embarrassment the rest of you have endured. I, of course, have never experienced such a moment. I certainly never walked up to one Sophia Nash in Dallas and very clearly said, “hi, Samantha!”
Gannon on 06 Mar 2008 at 2:59 pm #
Karen H, you landed face first in your boss’s lap?! HAHAHAHA!! OMG, that’s funny! Of course, you got the bonus!!
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:04 pm #
I never saw Al again. I stayed with Joe until he went to Viet Nam. After 6 months his mother used her political pull to get him an early out but the kicker was I had to go. No loss on my end, I didn’t love him and he didn’t love me. Drunk = stupid.
I really loved my second husband and I loved the gift of our sons. That marriage didn’t work out but it took 17 years to make that decision, we have been separated for 17 years. No need to divorce, I learn from my mistakes.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:04 pm #
OMG as i keep reading you guys stories I’m getting more flashbacks of embarrassing moments.
Kay on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:12 pm #
My oldest son did me in. A little background–my son was an rabid sports fan. He was about 4, and had started demanding a tattoo. I explained to him that the sports stars with tattoos made their mommies upset & disappointed. (Just my opinion folks, those of you with body art have a right to express yourself in you own way, I just didn’t want my kid to have tantrums for one)
We were shopping at the local garden store–I am an avid gardener–and we had LOTS of stuff. The young man who came to help us was COVERED in HUGE tattoos. My sweet little son looked at the hulking young man, pointed at his arm and said, “I bet your mommie is very disappointed.” I could have died. The young man just smiled. I’m sure he’d heard comments before. I tried to apologize, but he graciously brushed it off. The kid had class.
Nicole Jordan on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:18 pm #
Love the missing horse tail story, Sophia! I’ve seen many horses with chewed off tails, courtesy of their paddock or stall buddies. But I never thought a person would be so criminal.
And all these other lol stories are really making my day, goddesses.
Also, Sophia, I’ll be going to RT this year for the last couple of days. Can’t wait to meet you!
KariE on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:21 pm #
Speaking of 4 year old sons. My son and I went to a flea market last weekend. On the way there I had texted Sniky that I was going there and she had asked me to look for a mannequin (or something similar that I don’t remember the name). As my son and I were walking around we did find this half a body female form thing (Sniky could tell you what it was). Anyway, I take a picture of it with my phone and send it to her. As I am waiting for her reply I am looking at other stuff at the booth, I turn around and my son is touching this things boobies. Not fondling it but poking it with his index finger. People are walking by laughing under their breath (nor so quietly). Sons, gotta love them!
Kay on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:22 pm #
This one I truly did to myself:
My DH and I were having dinner at a restaurant with his bosses & their wives. DH had just gotten a BIG promotion and this was the celebration.
We were in the most elegant restaurant I had ever been in. The menus were almost three feet long (I’m NOT exaggerating) and the light was quite dim.
I’m sure you see this coming, but I swear I didn’t. As I perused the menu, and got to the bottom, I was holding the menu parallel to the table, not up, like everyone else. My huge menu pushed my husband’s bosses wine glass–full of red wine–into his lap! He was kind, gracious, and more worried that I was embarrassed than that he was upset at wearing slacks soaked in merlot. I wanted to melt into the floor. I had to sit there for a five course meal.
Dh did not loose his job, than goodness, but I am very careful with menus now.
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:31 pm #
Kay, I’m sure DH’s boss has had red slacks before. They do work in a hospital after all… (Just tryin’ to make you feel better.) I think it’s an evil conspiracy by the restaurant industry to make us feel gauche.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:49 pm #
Hi Ms. Enoch,
You did not call me Samantha! Did you, Cynthia?
By the way, I keep meaning to tell you that when I played Mystery Author on Romance Novel TV awhile ago, I gave so many false hints about a devotion to everything Star Wars that I had everyone convinced I was you for about half a week. My 12 year old son was a veritable font of information…
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:54 pm #
Rachel-
Ahem. Anal stretching? Was this a romance? And here I thought my books were racy. Just when I think I’ve become jaded, something new always appears on the horizon. What’s next?
cail on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:58 pm #
evlqn… your story reminded me of Britney’s very short marriage to her friend after a night of drunkeness!
i’m totally loving your stories… keep ‘em coming.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:02 pm #
Claudia,
Loved the bee story. Kind of reminds me of when I was working for the CBS affliate in Miami, riding in one of the vans to do a story and I opened my Filofax and saw a hair on the page, coming up from the ringed binding. I tried to brush it away and a cockroach the size of New Jersey came crawling out of it. I screamed and threw the whole filofax out the window as we were going 75 miles an hour on I-95. I knew it was time for a blackberry.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:10 pm #
I am going to sound like a dumb duck but who is Fred Astair? The name doesnt ring a bell.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:10 pm #
Karen H,
Thanks so much for asking me to be a Goddess for a day. I’m having the best time discovering that I am not the only real live Bridget Jones tripping over the face of this planet. But seriously, don’t you think humiliation is a neccessary ingredient in our lives? I think it makes us more human. I get very nervous when I meet “picture perfect” people who appear to be leading “picture perfect” lives…
Marie on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:10 pm #
Evlqn I’m sorry that sounds horrible. I hope you are happy now.
I’m 20 so I have 10 more years to party in my 20’s. My drunkenness has never gotten me in real trouble yet. A sprained ankle is nothing.
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:14 pm #
Lol Sophia gives a totally new meaning to ”flying cockroach”.
Karie–i love your story. Makes me almost wish I had a kid.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:16 pm #
Yasmin,
Get thee to Blockbuster and rent any Fred Astair & Ginger Rogers movie. He’s the greatest dancer of the last century barr none. Top Hat is probably my favorite!
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:19 pm #
Sophia - those picture perfect people would never get a government clearance because they LIE. Obviously they have made up this perfect life to hide all the skeletons in their closet, which would make them prime targets for blackmail and espionage.
Of all the stories, Cail’s skirt in her hose, Elsie’s open toilet door and Karen H’s fall into her boss’s lap make me cringe the very most. Nice going ladies!
dbrown3400 on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:20 pm #
Glad to have you on Mt. Oly, Sophia. Come back anytime.
My most embarrassing moment was when I met my ex-husband. He thought I was a hooker. I was having dinner with several computer geeks (I was in St. Louis teaching a computer class) and saw this man sitting alone across the room. It was one of those electrical moments I’d only read about in books. Later, we were all back in the lounge attached to the restaurant and I approached HIM and asked for a dance. That’s when he said I was going to have a rough night with all those guys and asked me how much I charged? I said, “Huh?”
We were together for thirty-three years although separated for sixteen of those before we finally divorced so he could get remarried at age sixty-eight. He is a much older man .
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:20 pm #
Sophia - TOP HAT is my fave, too. DH and I would watch it on New Years Eve when we were dating and it became a tradition for a very long time. One year we couldn’t find the video tape. I’m thinking I should get me to the Blockbuster, too. What a lovely movie that was!
Kim on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:45 pm #
KarenH–O.M.G. I am not even going to ask WHY you got the bonus *g*
Suzie–Don’t feel bad! I marched up to Kat Martin and waxed poetic on one of her books, how much I loved it, etc. She sweetly looks at me and says “I didn’t write that book but thank you.” Me: “Are you sure? I’m positive it was your book!” Kat: “No, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t mine.” Me: Finally realizing what an idiot I am and wanting to crawl under the carpet.
Or let’s see, Me walking up to Kresley Cole, “Hi Kresley, I’m Kim and Rocki St. Claire said I needed to have you as a Mystery Author.” Kresley: ” um, I don’t write mystery.” Me thinking DUH! Explanations first, Kim.
Sophia–I want to hear ALL about this government questioning in San Fran! Every last dirty detail *g*
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:47 pm #
Dbrown–I never have good comebacks. I totally freeze. I had a guy once tell me you have a “nice fence” I stood there for a minute not getting it. When I finally did I left him standing there when what he needed was a serious tongue-lashing.
cail on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:51 pm #
Yas… i don’t get it…
Kim on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:53 pm #
Claudia–really, Hon, we’re laughing with you!
RachelG–WHY were you reading about anal stretching? Please don’t say research!
Kay–I love kidlet stories! LOL. My son has always idolized his dad. When he was about 3 my husband was wearing a bandana on his head, so of course, Anthony wanted one too. DH put one on him and said “Now we’re a couple of bad asses!” We go to the store and Anthony has to potty so DH takes him to the men’s room. Anthony marches in and announces to the other man in there, “Me and my dad are a couple of fat asses.” ROFL!
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 4:55 pm #
Cail–I was exactly the same way. He was talking about my twins and I dont wear low cut shirts for the same reason. The only reason I got it was because he was pointedly looking.
cail on 06 Mar 2008 at 5:00 pm #
quick question… i’ve never read one of Sophia’s books before, and plan on hopping over to Borders on my way home (see, blog hopping really DOES increase your readership!)…
Which book should I get?!
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 5:10 pm #
I have not read a book by her either but I ordered both A dangerous Beauty and The Kiss. If you go to bn.com they have excerpts of both books on there. i would suggest reading ADB before TK because I am going to read them in order even though TK has me intrigued. I read both excerpts and they sound awesome.
Lisa H on 06 Mar 2008 at 5:24 pm #
Karen H - Was your mouth open? TEe Hee
Yasmin on 06 Mar 2008 at 5:31 pm #
It was so much fun talking to you guys. i gotta go. I need to finish payroll so that we get paid on time.
Your welcome back to MT Oly anytime Goddess Sophia.
Goodbye goddesses, I’ll swing by later once i’m at home. Tootles
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 5:47 pm #
Cail & Yasmin-
There are 2 books out right now: A Dangerous Beauty and The Kiss. They are the beginning of the series. I listed them in the correct order but you can easily read them out of order and you won’t miss anything by doing so!
Hope you enjoy them and thanks so much for your interest!
LauraR on 06 Mar 2008 at 6:15 pm #
Sophia, thanks for having the lexicon of slang on your website. It cleared up a few questions I had on word usage. Is ‘ape leader’ a good thing?
Suzanne Enoch on 06 Mar 2008 at 6:17 pm #
Ah, Sophia. Yep, that’s me. Cynthia. Snort. *g*
RachelG on 06 Mar 2008 at 6:27 pm #
Sophia and Kim
For the record, Rachel Gibson would NEVER research anal stretching. I was reading a RITA book. So, yeah. It was labeled romance. Was it romance? I didn’t think so, but I don’t think that long descriptions on how to stretch an anus are romantic. Especially with passages like, “it always hurt at first.”
rachelg
Karen Rose on 06 Mar 2008 at 6:44 pm #
Ouch.
Karen Hawkins on 06 Mar 2008 at 6:52 pm #
Yowza, Rachel! That does NOT sound good. My Rita books were actually pretty good though not near as racy.
And Lisa H, that’s Just Wrong. Funny, but wrong. (Heh! I mean, Ahem!)
evlqn on 06 Mar 2008 at 7:58 pm #
Cail , Ya it does sound like Britney, I really wish that child would find some of my admirable traits to copy.
Marie, yes I am happy now. I talk to my husband once or twice a year to see if he is still pink and breathing. But I have grown so much as a person without him I am amazed.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:58 pm #
Laura R-
“Ape Leader” was a huge put down. It meant that the lady was considered not only ugly as an ape, but was the ugliest of ALL the apes being led into hell. Kind of makes our modern put downs seem tame, No?
FreshEChelle on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:43 pm #
From being tongue tied over a handsome Welsh bureaucrat to anal stretching? Spend a day actually working and you miss all the fun on Mt. Oly.
doglady on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:58 pm #
Back from work and you have all had a rather interesting day! To answer some questions. No, Karen R, this particular baritone was NOT sporting songs. The funny part. He was playing Don Giovanni! And he was 8 years my junior, rakishly handsome and the son of an Austrian baron. You didn’t think I would hold just anyone’s equipment, do you? He couldn’t hold his own equipment because he kept flinching and we were afraid the seamstress would …. miss. We didn’t want him to end up singing tenor. Yes, Sophia, his equipment was large and got larger throughout the “procedure.” We all got a good laugh out of it later at dinner (opera singers eat dinner @ 1:00 AM, after the performance as we cannot eat later than 4 PM on nights we sing) He said “If you weren’t already married you would have to marry me to save my reputation!” Dangerous Beauty is a fabulous book, ladies! Sophia, I am currently revising my first novel a Regency set romance. The hero and heroine go out for a drive and end up
Kim on 06 Mar 2008 at 9:59 pm #
RachelG–I have no words other than I seriously hope I don’t come across that book. Sorry but to me that topic doesn’t belong in a romance novel. Maybe that’s the prude in me coming out.
doglady on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:00 pm #
falling into a sinkhole on a Yorkshire moor that leads to an underground cave. They spend the night there before they are rescued and therefore must get married. The bad news? She’s the younger sister of his former fiancee who jilted him at a ball! Oh and technically she’s a horse thief.
Sabrina Jeffries on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:33 pm #
I just thought of TWO embarrassing moments, thanks to everybody else sharing theirs. One, I introduced Susan Kay Law at RWA to a HUGE group of people as Susan Larson (the book editor of the Times-Picayune). I don’t know why. It was a brain blip, since I’ve known her for years. I cringed when she had to correct me.
The other was when I backed into a tree in college. I had only been driving my car for a couple of years, so it was NOT fun telling my parents how I managed to back into a pine tree. Thank God no one was around to see it.
Sophia Nash on 06 Mar 2008 at 10:53 pm #
Doglady,
Your story sounds terrific! Love the horse thief angle…I’m writing a section of my current work right now that is set in Yorkshire. The best part is that I’m taking a little trip to Derbyshire and further north - to experience it firsthand. This is my favorite part of the writing process!
doglady on 06 Mar 2008 at 11:51 pm #
Oh, Sophia, I envy you your trip. I lived in England for three years as a child, but never visited Yorkshire. I did quite a bit of research on the area for LOST IN LOVE. There are several fantastic National Trust sites for Yorkshire, the Yorkshire Dales and the Yorkshire moors. They were a great help. I would love to visit the area in person. I have been to Derbyshire and it is a gorgeous part of the country. I live in Suffolk in a little English village (site of the great fox hunt debacle.)
My heroine, Adelaide, and her best friend from childhood - a notorious rake - steal horses from abusive owners and secret them away on the rake’s brother’s estate to live out their days in peace. It is a pact they made in childhood. What they didn’t count on was Addy falling into a hole with, marrying and falling in love with a duke! Assuming her new husband would take exception to having a horse thief as his duchess she doesn’t tell him about it.
I dream of the day I can return to England!!
limecello on 07 Mar 2008 at 1:21 am #
I’ve felt pretty embarrassed before, but none of my moments that I remember haunt me. Generally, every 4 months or so I’ll wipe out in a rather spectacular and public way. It’s become so customary that I’ll gingerly pick myself up, and laugh. (Also, because oftentimes if I’ve really hurt myself, I’ll laugh. Hysterically. That… scares people sometimes.)
Ellen on 07 Mar 2008 at 2:03 pm #
Oh Hell…did I miss a great day.