My Unexpected Collection
Mar 3rd 2008
Claudia DainWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
I have a key ring. It has my house key, my car key, and my Borders reward card on it. I believe in travelling light.
My key ring is kept in a wooden bowl next to the door. I walk into the house, the key ring lands in the bowl. I walk out of the house and the last thing I pick up is my key ring.
But in a drawer in the kitchen, I have a tiny pewter bowl that is full of keys. Overflowing with keys. Keys tumbling out. I don’t know what these keys are for.
Apparently I have a key collection and I don’t know how it got started. I never set out to collect keys. I don’t want these keys, but I’m afraid to throw them away. What if they are Important Keys? What if they unlock the vault? Not that I have a vault, but they must unlock something.
I’ve convinced myself that these keys must do something essential to my life, which is why I have them in the first place, and why I kept them in the second place, so I can’t throw them out now. The very fact of their existence in my kitchen drawer means that they are essential to my life. Even though I’ve never used them and I can’t think what they can be for.
You can see the vicious circle of my reasoning, can’t you? The keys Exist, therefore, they must have Meaning.
I should have paid more attention in my college philosophy class. I am clearly facing one of those If A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C scenarios. I got a D in that class.
I think that means I’m stuck with my keys.
What are you stuck with? Do you have keys without meaning? Do you keep them or do you toss them? Will you come and toss mine? I lack the intestinal fortitude to kill a useless key.
72 Comments »
Karen Hawkins on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:03 am #
Yet more proof that Claudia and I are sisters separated at birth! Well, except that she’s neat, has incredible fashion sense, is a sexy blonde, and knows her way around a kitchen like a Kitchen Wizard. Other than THAT.
I have Mystery Keys in my house, too! When I organized my Junk Drawer (leading the formation of a new, unorganized Junk Drawer to compliment it), I found a LOT of keys. Did I go around the house and try them on various locks? No. Did I throw any of them away? No. But I DID assign them to a special place in my Junk Drawer so they’re all TOGETHER. In a word, I organized them and then left them to sleep in peace, a mystery still.
Btw, I need to use your wooden bowl method Claudia When I come home, I have a hook I am supposed to hang my keys, and sometimes I use it . . . but not always. Somehow, there’s not a connect in my mind between the keys and the hook and I lose them a LOT.
Sigh.
Judy F on 03 Mar 2008 at 6:01 am #
I don’t have near Claudia’s key collection but I do have several. I have some hooked on the wall by the computer. I know one opens by storage bin but every time I get into the storage bin I have to take both sets of keys with me.
I have a lot of buttons and extra thread. You know when you buy an top it will some with an extra button or some thread. I am sure on some of these buttons/thread that I no longer have the tops but I still keep the buttons/threads.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 03 Mar 2008 at 7:03 am #
I have a few sets of keys, but they haven’t multiplied yet…should I worry?
maybe that is the key to keys, keep them on separate hooks so those little guys can’t have babies and overrun your house.
My extra keys are for all my old homes I used to work in…sometimes I get called to feed a pet or make a freezer meal or five, so I still need them!
Karen Hawkins on 03 Mar 2008 at 8:11 am #
Judy, I have buttons, too! I used to play with this bag of buttons my mother had when I was a kid. So I had a bag for my kids to play with. Now, I can’t stand to throw them away. They’re so . . . pretty!
Barbara Vey on 03 Mar 2008 at 8:34 am #
I cannot throw anything away. I just know that when I do, within the week, I’ll need it. So, yes, I too have many keys to the unknown.
Karen Rose on 03 Mar 2008 at 8:37 am #
I’m actually good about keys. I have a collection of foreign money. There was a time I traveled so much that I filled a passport and a half in three years. Once I came home and didn’t have enough American money for a pop from the machine, but I could have bought dinner for twelve in as many countries.
You trade back in the paper money, but not usually the change. So now I have all this change. It’s like, money, you know? And who throws away money? I kept thinking, hey, it’s money and if I ever go back to ____(fill in the blank) I can spend it on essential items like soda pop from machines.
Then the Euro happened and a lot of my old European money isn’t even used anymore (is it?).
So Claudia, I have a plan. You throw your keys into a cauldron, I’ll throw in my money and we’ll melt it down and get enough cash for maybe one American soda pop. I’ll split it with you.
Margaret Garland on 03 Mar 2008 at 8:54 am #
Kathy, I thought it was wire clothes hangars that breed in the dark of your closet.
Karen, hang onto those buttons. They were your mom’s? Color me envious. There are people who seriously collect stuff like buttons, keys, foreign coins, etc. I lust for buttons. Not to use. Just to look at. Unfortunately, I don’t have too many and I’m not a serious collector.
Claudia, you could take a bunch of those keys, glue them to a decorative board of some sort, frame it and hang on the wall of your choic. Voila! You have a piece of your very own art work and you know where the keys are. Just in case. I don’t have a wooden bowl but I have a small bookcase by the front door. Keys go in a small basket as I come in. Else I’d never find them. Can’t find my butt with both hands some days.
Not Martha in Lancaster County, PA
KariE on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:17 am #
I will admit to having unassigned keys. I’ve lived in this house for going on 8 years now, so it’s doubtfull they go to a different house. I KNOW if I throw those keys away, the next day I will need them.
But what is worse than the keys is my collection of nails/scews in the junk drawer. I cannot throw away a screw or nail.
rachelg on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:28 am #
I have a bowl of misc. keys, too. I don’t where the locks are or which doors they fit, but I’m afraid to throw them away. But mostly, I’m a tosser. I throw things out if I haven’t used it in a while. Mr. G, on the other hand, is or hoarder. We have two rented storage sheds full of his crap.
rachel
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:28 am #
KarenH, let’s get one thing straight: I avoid the kitchen as much as possible, which is a lot. I’m a great little avoider.
I used to have a hook for my keys. It was right over the trash can in the pantry. I can’t tell you how many times I missed the hook without knowing it, my DH snarling, “This is not a good spot for the key hook!” as he dug around in the gooey trash for the key ring. Okay, okay, so I changed it up and went with the wooden bowl. Sheesh. Picky, picky.
I used to have buttons. I wish I knew where they went! I loved to run my hands through them, and I once decorated my daughter’s tee-shirts with buttons. So adorable. I’ll bet I gave her the buttons and she lost them.
Yeah, that sounds right. Always blame the kids.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:30 am #
KariE, I also have a collection of nails/screws, which I do throw out. Every five years or so. I figure that, if pressed, I can go to Home Depot and lay out $1.49 for a new pack of screws.
And I’ve lived in my house for almost 19 years. Where did these keys come from!?
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:33 am #
KarenR, I have foreign money, too! I keep mine in the bottom slot of my jewelry box, which means that I never remember where it is when I’m about to get on that plane to foreign shores. I always find the money when I come home.
My solution (rubs hands in evil delight) is to encourage my older son to have a foreign money collection. Ha! I give him all the money I can’t bear to throw out because, hey, it’s MONEY!, but now he’s stuck with it.
Poor kid doesn’t suspect a thing.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:37 am #
You know what else I just remembered I collect? Wool thread.
See, when I buy the wool sweaters I spend my winters wearing, they come with a little plastic packet of extra wool thread in that color. You get a rip in a seam, presto, you have the matching thread. I have a shoe box FULL of those plastic packets. No kidding.
So this winter, I actually get my first tear. To be honest, I was excited. Finally, a chance to use my matching thread! All the years of saving wool are going to pay off!
The problem was that I didn’t have that special needle for thick wool thread. Do I jump in the car and drive 10 miles to the fabric store to buy a needle?
I threw out the sweater. I think I kept the thread.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:41 am #
You know, Margaret, you might have something there. Turning a pile of keys into a pretty display, original ART no less…yeah, that might be a very fun solution to the key dilemma.
SnikyWhite on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:42 am #
In high school a friend of mine’s house burned down. She gave me a key to her house to a door that literally no longer exists. I still have the key. Don’t have the friend, but I have the key.
RachelG on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:49 am #
My mother isn’t a saver, but she collects anything Betty Boop. She has an entire room filled with her Betty stuff. One of my biggest fears is that I’ll inherit it all some day.
rachelg
PJ on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:49 am #
Oh yes, I have keys. Many keys. Many, many keys. Most of them are in my kitchen junk drawer and yes, I’ll admit it. I have absolutely no idea from whence they came. I know some are house keys but what house? I think one set is from a car my parents used to own. Might have been the Mercury they had back when I was in college. I went through the collection last summer and sorted out all the keys that worked in my current house and also opened the gate to the neighborhood pool. I was amazed to find out that the key that opened my back door also opened the pool gate. Yikes! Did that mean everyone is the neighborhood could open my back door? I had the locks changed. Now I have more keys. My everyday keyring goes into my purse…always. Now if I could just remember where I put that darn purse!
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:53 am #
Rachel, I remember when Betty Boop made her comeback! She was so cute, those big eyes, those black curls.
Just think what a fortune you’ll make on ebay if Betty becomes yours!
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 9:55 am #
Sniky, I’m impressed. You can identify the key. You may not need it, but you know what it was the key to.
I have mystery keys. What are they for? They all look alike to me.
elsiehogarth on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:05 am #
I’m with PJ….I have sets of house keys/car keys for myself, my parents and my sister which I carry with me everyday in my bag. The only way I can tell which are which is by the key rings. My key ring has Snoopy dressed as a witch along with the “Bad Bunny” saying “Cute but kind of Evil” along with rewards cards for Borders, Shop Rite, CVS, Hallmark and Best Buy, for my parents I have keys to the shed, the front door, the garage door, the 2 back doors and all the storm doors with a key ring that says: Never Underestimate the POWER of this WOMAN! and for my sisters keys I have a “Bad Bunny” key ring that says “Not listening”. I also have to mention that I also have memorized home security access codes which sometimes I have gotten wrong because I can’t remember which is which but those stories are for another day.
Julia London on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:20 am #
Claudia, I take it one step farther. I have the Mystery Keys on my key ring in the event I happen upon the Secret Door. I’d hate to be out and discover the Secret Door and the Mystery Key be at home! So I lug this enormous key ring around that has only two useful keys on it.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:27 am #
Julia, you are the Key Goddess, the Gate Keeper to the Secret Door. This is an honorable position. You, and your keys, will hold it for life.
Wait, let me give you my Mystery Keys so that your title will be secure.
What are friends for?
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:28 am #
Elsie, I tried that once, different key rings for different people/houses. I forgot who went with what within hours of putting the keys on the ring.
I am hopeless. My keys have defeated me at every turn.
Karen Hawkins on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:36 am #
Julia, your Secret Door cracks me up!
i have an old key that came from the Grand Ole Opry Hotel back in the 80s
I also have a library book from the 1980s, too. I take it with me every move and promise myself that I’m going to turn it in . . . one day. No, really, I am!
cail on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:49 am #
This sounds like the story of my life! I have a box where I keep the buttons and the string that comes with new sweaters. It’s steadily growing, and has yet to be used.
I have quite a few keys, but I happen to know what they go to. I have my apartment keys (Outer door, apt door, mailbox…), I have my parent’s house key (just one luckily), my dearest’s apartment key (outer door, apt door), my grandma’s house key (alarm, door)… car keys… its getting heavier by the day. I guess I carry most of them. Should really get rid of the ones i don’t use every day.
Karen Rose on 03 Mar 2008 at 11:55 am #
I tried to give my foreign money away, Claudia. No takers. And it’s dangerous, too. I have a LOT. It’s sorted in envelopes by country and type. Pounds, Loonies, yen, lira, etc. (The Loonies are my favorite - I just like saying Loonies.)
So I put the envelopes of money in the little cupboard that’s part of my desk. One day I’m searching for an unused printer cartridge (I have PILES of used up cartridges, but am afraid to pitch them and never remember to take them with me to the collection bin at Office Depot). Anyway, the envelopes of coins come sliding out of my cupboard onto my toe.
I also collect foreign curse words, LOL and I used them that day.
Ellen on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:16 pm #
Hiya Gees…I’m back from Rhode Island and quite “traveled” out.
Karens…First I would like to thank you both for keeping me company with your novels while I was waiting for our plane to take off in the very foggy Milan. They were delicious, funny and very hot.
This leads me to my newest collection…Goddess Books. You see, in the old day, I would pass a great book to everyone I knew. Somehow they never made their way back to me. Now because of my loyalty to your royalty (lol) I just tell others to go out and buy them. The stack is getting bigger and bigger…much bigger than my pile of keys.
Ellen on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:19 pm #
Karen…you should use your obsolete money to decorate the pages of the scrap book detailing your wonderful travels. OR…use it to decoupage a frame of some treasured travel photo.
Too Martha?
Sabrina Jeffries on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:20 pm #
Well, now I feel better about my organizational skills. I only have a very few mystery keys (I keep hoping I’ll happen upon the lost key to my filing cabinet), but if I can tell AT ALL what they went to, and it’s gone, the key is gone. This has kept my key selection down to a minimum.
I too keep buttons because as a child I loved to play with my grandma’s buttons. I have used them once or twice, but that’s all. Still, one day I plan to do SOMETHING with them.
SnikyWhite on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:21 pm #
KarenRose - I love saying loonies too! I still have one in my jewlery box at home. I had a canadian friend who worked at the dollar store in Peterborough, Ontario. It was called the “Looney Bin.” I could get a job there in an instant.
Ronlyn on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:31 pm #
Oh man! I have more keys than I can count. No idea what half of them are for and they now live in my DH’s underwear drawer. Don’t ask why, that’s a mystery in itself.
I’m stuck with my in-laws….does that count? *G*
For the past several years I’ve been trying to get better at throwing things away. It’s still a work in progress.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:31 pm #
Ellen, I think the idea of using the foreign money in a scrap book or picture frame is Pure Martha! And that’s a huge compliment! What an original and fun idea.
Lisa H on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:42 pm #
Hi Ladies! I too have some “mystery keys” They are on my key ring, and I keep meaning to throw them away…yet, like Julia, I fear I may someday come upon the secret door and then I will be screwed. Which brings me to my fear of throwing away screws. I have one from the baby’s stroller, I keep hanging onto even though my husband fixed the stroller with a different screw. Why do I save it still?
Buttons…I threw them all away thinking, if I needed a button I would go and buy one at Jo Ann Fabrics…well, the day did come, I needed two buttons for my daughter’s coat, and $3.00 later I had the buttons. I don’t know about you guys, but $3.00 is alot of moolah for 2 buttons…I should have saved my buttons.
Money…I have francs from France, and I love them and will not give them up. When I went to Paris 4 years ago, everyone was using Euros, so I think the francs are obsolite, even if they weren’t I like having them.
Ellen on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:43 pm #
Claudia…Why thank you! I love using items in unique ways. I thought the scrap book and picture frame were SO much safer than my original idea for a toilet paper cozy.
Hmmm, I wonder if the glued seams would hold on a pair of “loonie shorts” for one of our FROS? Seems like a win/win to me.
SnikyWhite on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:53 pm #
LOL a toilet paper cozy?
Karen on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:56 pm #
I don’t have multiplying keys, but I do have a few interesting coins from my travels. Not as many as KarenR, I haven’t traveled that much, but they sit in the bottom of the change jar, and every few months, when I take the change into the bank to be sorted (and then used for BOOKS–because it’s “found money”) the machine spits out a dozen coins from Korea, Spain, England, Canada & Mexico. I always say I’m going to “do something” with the coins, but when I get home, they go right back into the change jar, LOL.
I think the picture frame is a GREAT Idea. I’m no Martha, but I can manage a glue gun.
cail on 03 Mar 2008 at 12:58 pm #
coin collections!! i used to have one of those. now i just have various types of $ from other countries near my passport in case i go there again. i usually give the coins to my 10 yr old cousin who has a coin collection.
Caren Crane on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:17 pm #
Oh, Claudia, did you have to mention the keys? I was just this weekend looking at a collection my husband has stashed in the saucers of these enormous decorative mugs I have (why I have those is yet another mystery) and I wondered if any of them go to anything we currently own. One might, but the rest are highly suspect.
I have at times grilled him about what they go to and whether we need them. Invariably, he has no idea. I’m not picking on him, because I’m even worse. I have at least one mystery key on my house key ring. I do keep my car and house keys separated. I think I’ll pitch them all and start over–someday.
For anyone with the five-pound car keyring: be careful. The weight of your keys can wreck your ignition switch!
Buttons: I had a huge collection and sent them to the elementary school for some craft project. Then I needed a button. I also have the wool thread, Claudia! I know for sure I have some for sweaters I no longer own. So sad!
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:33 pm #
Lisa, I am with you on the buttons. Everything has gotten so expensive! I had a friend who would buy a cheap sweater or coat and then replace the buttons with something more upscale, changing the whole look of the sweater or coat.
Now, it would be cheaper to spend an extra $20 on the coat!
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:35 pm #
Caren, a heavy key ring can ruin the ignition switch?! I’m shocked! Yet another reason why Mystery Keys need to be passed over to Julia, the Key Goddess. Aren’t we all relieved to have a designated goddess for this?
I am!
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:37 pm #
Cail, isn’t it handy to have small children around who have collections? I, for one, encourage collections of things I can’t figure out how to get rid of.
“But it’s wool thread, honey. People kill for this stuff. I’ll buy the scrap book to get you started, ‘k?”
Karen Rose on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:42 pm #
THe Loonie Bin - HA! Love it.
KariE on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:50 pm #
Sniky- I remember that!!
There is a pub/bar around the corner from my bank called The Loonie Bin. I have stopped in there a few times for take out (their hot sandwiches are good). I must say, the name is fitting. Every time I go in there flashbacks of Cheers episodes pop in my head.
Julia London on 03 Mar 2008 at 1:58 pm #
Bring ‘em on — I will gladly keep the keys. That means I’ll be first in line whenever I find the Secret Door
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:11 pm #
Wasn’t there a book titled The Secret Door? I think I read it when I was a kid. Something about a door to a different universe or reality…Julia, I am totally fine with you being the first, ah, test case through the Secret Door.
Bring a utility knife and a flashlight. And sturdy shoes, wear sturdy shoes.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:12 pm #
yes, yes, we Canadians have Loonies.
No one ever says one dollar coin, and as soon as the 2$ coins came out, out comes the Two-nie term!
I’m forever collecting loonies for laundry.
Buttons! I think everyone has those bags of buttons. My mom had a huge peanut butter jar full of them. not one matched another. There aere some gems in the jar though. I still have the mother of pearl one. I have yet to figure out what to do with it, as it is 2 inches in diameter.
DebMarlowe on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:14 pm #
I have a collection of keys to different neighbors’ houses. You know, just in case. No idea, after all this time, which belongs to which neighbor, but at least we are all still living in the same houses. I’ve had them so long I doubt they remember I have them!
Paula on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:25 pm #
Claudia i don’t know about a book called the Secret Door but the is a book called ‘THe Secret Garden’
Caren I was thinking ,as I read my way down the blog, that I must mention about too many keys on your car key ring can wreck the ignition switch.
Claudia I have a pot with lots of keys that I don’t know what they are for. When my boys were little I made them up a key ring of ‘old’ keys for them to play with!! And as yet haven’t had to steal any of them back.
Paula on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:28 pm #
Karen R most of western europe( excepting the UK) now uses the EURO and not other currencies, it makes for a boring holiday from the UK if you are visiting more than one country, as now you only need 1 currency rather than different ones for each country.
Lismore on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:30 pm #
I collect antique keys. You wonder what story is behind some of the keys with with markings on them. I’ve always been intrigued with one which has a specific date of May 15, 1888 on it and a room number.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:36 pm #
Lismore, this is great news! I can keep my keys until they become antiques and then my kids or grandkids can sell them on eBay!
That is so cool about the room number key from 1888…Time After Time, anyone?
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:38 pm #
Looked it up: it’s not The Secret Door, it’s The Forgotten Door. Same difference?
Freshechelle on 03 Mar 2008 at 2:47 pm #
I have a collection of keys and padlocks for luggage that I’ve acquired over the past 20 years. I can’t part with them because I’m convinced I’ll pull out an old piece of luggage and need that hard to find key number. They’re in every bowl, pencil cup and junk drawer in my apt. What a waste.
My mother’s collection addiction includes flamingos, I’ve taken to enabling it rather than fighting it. She has another awful collection my sister and I insist she has to leave to our sister in law, we want the jewelry.
My great grandmother’s collection of buttons is still in the family.
Other than my key problem (incidentally, I keep the key to my important papers box in the lock. Never lose it that way.), I refuse to move stuff I don’t use more than once. Therefore, a healthy household purging happens from time to time.
SnikyWhite on 03 Mar 2008 at 3:10 pm #
Fresh - I must confess…I too have a horrible flamingo collection. Its not my fault though. My mom got me a flamingo christmas ornament.I laughed at her and told her how silly it was, then the next holiday, there was another flamingo. I giggled and told her how fun it was (still not wanting to hurt her feelings.) That’s when Liberace got there. He is a 4 foot flamingo that has wooden legs so he can stand. He came wearing a white feather boa (hence the name. also, wore a vest & bowtie and was present at my wedding reception). Since then, it has become flamingo fever. People started seeing all the flamingo stuff and assumed I loved them, and bought me more. I have salt & pepper shakers, paper towel holders, Christmas lights (which Kari laughed at and ultimately made me take down), wind chimes, candle holders and of course, what collection would be complete without not one, but two, flamingo bobble heads. Can I will my stuff to your sister in law too? Nobody I know will take the stuff.
Karen Rose on 03 Mar 2008 at 3:29 pm #
Paula, that’s what I thought about the Euro vs. W.European currencies. I’m going to the UK in a few weeks, so I can at least use the pound coins then. I seem to recall seeing a Cadbury machine or two in the Underground! It is a fond memory of my trips to the UK - the English chocolate is excellent and the candy comes out of the machines refrigerated.
Surely worth my change!
Freshechelle on 03 Mar 2008 at 3:46 pm #
Sniky the Reluctant Flamingo Collector, I’ll be sure to send you my SIL’s address for your unfortunate collection. Send it anonymously and then wipe your hands of it!
Karen R, mmmmm …. Flake…. and I forget the name of the chocolate covered Flake ‘coz Flake isn’t enough chocolate…. happy trails!
Emmiebee on 03 Mar 2008 at 4:23 pm #
Hey! THAT’S where all of my missing keys have been going all of these years? To one of you guys? Seriously, I swear that I have an extra copy of my house/car key just right there in that drawer- and it has Mysteriously Disappeared. I have pictured them being transported out of the drawer by some demented Star Trek guy with secret teleporter techology, but in truth they have simply been migrating to their true homes- yours! Well, if you find a Saturn key with “Franklin” on the tag (DH’s car) or a VW key labeled “Veruca” (my car), please let me know.
Good to know the answer to one of life’s little mysteries,
Emmiebee
Paula on 03 Mar 2008 at 4:27 pm #
Fresh it’s called TWIRL and its one of my favourites too. I’m addicted to Cadbury’s chocolate, the dairy milk and their whole nut!!(its milk chocolate with whole hazlenuts in it.
This will tell you who addicted to it I am for valentines day my DH bought me 2x 250 gram bars of whole milk and for mothers day my 2 sons bought me 2x 400gram bars of whole nut! Bang goes my diet.
Karen R where abouts in the Uk are you coming to? and enjoy the chocolate!!
Santa on 03 Mar 2008 at 4:38 pm #
My husband is the keeper of useless keys. They’re in his underwear/sock drawer along with a ton of other stuff leaving very little room for said underwear and socks!
When we were newly married I threw out an old key of his that wasn’t good for anything because it was only half a key. The other half was permanently lodged in a car door. Well, you think I’d sold his mother to the gypsies (hmmm….) because I discovered it wasn’t just any key to any car. It was the last remnant, other than the hub caps or lisence plate or memorial 8 x 11 enshrined photo, of his beloved 1967 Opel GT whose engine seized in 1985. *insert moment of silence here*
I heard about that fool key for years and if I want to get his goat I just start talking about accidentally throwing things out!
He always says I’d throw him out if he stood still for any length of time. Let me tell ya, there are some days….
Audrey on 03 Mar 2008 at 4:40 pm #
The key thing was a multi step process for me. Collect all keys found during various cleaning and purgings. Put on giant keychain found during aforementioned cleaning. Ask husband to identify keys. Wait six months. Take keys and try all in all doors I have current access to. Wait six months, just in case. Throw keys in garbage. Worry for six months that I missed a key that I’m really going to need. But finally, freedom!
I keep only car and house keys on the car key, because my husband told me about the ignition thing. But my purse holds six pounds of other keys.
Karen Rose, I could help you with that loonie problem - being they’re in an envelope already and everything. I’d even send back my collection of miscellaneous money - you wouldn’t happen to be heading to New Zealand would you?
Paula on 03 Mar 2008 at 4:48 pm #
Karen R what are loonies? or am I being really dense?
Freshechelle on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:07 pm #
Paula, yum, Twirl, that’s it. You lucky girl to have such easy access to all those Cadbury treats. I’m sure your figure can handle a milk tray or two. Nice gifties from your lads.
Loonies are Canadian dollar coins, Twoonies are Canadian two dollar coins. They’re really pretty with a picture of loons on them. Like Karen, I’m kind of sick of looking at mine. I keep them on a tray on my desk at work along with Euros and pence. Anyone traveling to an appropriate place is welcome to them.
Kathy/Cookiedough on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:13 pm #
hey, I’ll take all the loonies and twonies!
money for me!
The loonies I use for my laundry and the two-nies stack up nicely in my cupboard for bus fare.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:16 pm #
Santa, I’m ROFL on the throwing out the half key memento. I married one of those!
My DH has his special mementos that look like ordinary junk to me (or any sane person). After we’d been married for about 3 months, he figured out that I am Queen of the Toss and will throw away just about anything that isn’t glued down. He developed the habit then of going through the trash, looking for treasures I might have tossed.
He (head buried deep in trash can), “Did you mean to throw this out?”
Me, “Yes. It’s torn. I’m never going to wear it again.” (Said curtly).
He, pulling out a crumpled receipt, “Don’t you need—”
Me, “It’s a duplicate!”
He, “This is my old towel from my first swim team! I can’t believe you—”
Me, sighing, “Oh, sorry. I don’t know how that got in there. It must have fallen in. I know how important that scrap of forty year old towel is to you.”
Add in that he’s Car Crazy, the garage full of his treasures…maybe I should cut myself some slack on the keys.
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:17 pm #
Audrey, I have a faint memory of throwing odd keys away in my youth and your process was my process. Stress! But so nice to have all the keys accounted for.
Suzanne Enoch on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:17 pm #
I give all my old keys to my nephews. I can pretend they’re still available when I discover what they ever went to, but I also know they’re getting hopelessly lost somewhere so I don’t have to worry about them anymore.
Margaret Garland on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:17 pm #
Good grief! I’ve been gone most of the day and you have been busy little goddesses. I don’t have too many keys I can’t identify and have no trouble tossing them. Altho I do have one to an old mailbox, that only because it’s a b**** to get off the ring.
Claudia, I’m glad you looked up the title to that book. I thought of The Secret Garden at first, but soon realized that wouldn’t be right. Love all of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s books, BTW. Then, I thought it might be The Phantom Tollbooth. Another goodie. I never heard of The Forgotten Door. Now I have to find it and read it.
Margaret, who is deep into “See Jane Score”.
Margaret Garland on 03 Mar 2008 at 5:23 pm #
Speaking of useless collections. I collect cookbooks. Just Saturday I bought a copy Better Homes & Gardens New Cookbook. It’s not a hardback. It’s spiral bound in plastic and originally cost $19.95. I got it for $5 from a bin conveniently placed just inside the door to AC Moore Arts & Crafts store. Sigh. I don’t even cook anymore. If I can’t zap it, it gets eaten cold. But I like to read cookbooks. I even have an ancient Rumford Baking Powder cookbook that my mother got back in the 20/30’s.
Every so often I have a fantasy about cooking something fantastic. I used to make puff pastries, for cryin’ out loud. Now, I just lie down with good (goddess) book and wait for the fantasy to pass. It always does.
I wonder if one of the mystery keys would start me up?
Claudia Dain on 03 Mar 2008 at 7:38 pm #
Margaret, I have a bunch of cookbooks as well, which is truly hysterical since I have never liked to cook and can’t imagine liking it any time in the future. In fact, if I ever become Little Miss Cook It, someone call the paramedics—I’m having a seizure of some sort!
I do love to keep the old, worn cookbooks from my grandmother; there’s something comforting about having them around, seeing the splatters of various food groups all over the pages. I still have her mixing bowls and I think of her every time I use them, like to put the microwave popcorn in. *G*
Nicole Jordan on 03 Mar 2008 at 10:55 pm #
LOL, Claudia. I can’t bring myself to throw away keys either. But now I have a special ziplock bag for keys that I have no idea what they’re used for.
doglady on 03 Mar 2008 at 11:04 pm #
Just got home and read all this. You ladies are a riot and you made my day! I too have a huge killer key ring chain. It consists of all the cute key rings people have given me and all of the keys I have collected over the years. I have no idea what they are for, but the long chain of keyrings attached to each other make them easy to find and store. They are hanging on a hook and I guess when it reaches the floor I may have to do something. The keychains mean a lot as many of them are from my former students. “If it has tires or testicles it will give you grief.” “I know now why some animals eat their young.” “I like your approach, now lets see your departure.” “If you don’t go away I can’t miss you.” “If I throw a stick will you go away?” “I’m a teacher, yes I DO have eyes in the back of my head.” “Who are all these tacky people?” You get the picture. I keep them because they make me smile. I also have a nice collection of foreign money. I like the collage idea. You can’t throw it away
Margaret Garland on 04 Mar 2008 at 7:02 am #
I feel the same way about my cookbooks, Claudia. I doubt that my grandmother ever had a cookbook. She was born in the 1870’s and I’m sure that books were rare and precious in the backwoods of Arkansas. But I do enjoy my mother’s. Plus some of my own that I received as gifts in marriage #1 to the practice husband.
Have you ever looked thru some of those old books. Features lots of lard, eggs and other stuff that would give a modern nutritionist heart failure. I can tell you from memory that lard sure did make great pie crusts and fried up chicken beautifully. Too bad good stuff isn’t always good for you. Sigh