Life Comes At You Fast
Feb 25th 2008
Julia LondonWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
Last April, I agreed to write a tie-in to a soap opera. The publication was aggressive and I had to write it very quickly—in 45 days. I know there are authors who do that, but I am not one of them. But it was a good deal, so I cleared the decks and did nothing but write that book…for about 40 days.
He is my stepson’s son, and I won’t burden you with the ugly details because you’re smart women and can probably guess why a baby would end up living with his grandparents. And I do love my stepson and am hopeful things will turn around for him, so I guess I am protective.
Anyway, I was stunned—my husband works for Fed Ex freight at night, so it was just me and the baby. He wasn’t on any sort of schedule, so he didn’t sleep at nights, which meant I didn’t sleep at night. I obviously didn’t have day care, didn’t know how to get daycare, and I didn’t know what to do with him from hour to hour. And he would watch me, like he was waiting for me to do something, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
A few more months went by, and my speech was peppered with his name. I began to cite facts about the importance of baby schedules like I was a pro. People eyed me suspiciously, and with good reason. But by then it had become apparent to us and to the state that this would not be a short term gig. Now, he’s been with us 10 months, and I have a different perspective. I know he will be with us many more months. I also know that whatever happens, this child and I have bonded and he will always be a part of my life.
Life came at me fast. But it added missing dimensions to my life and plumped up my soul. Granted, this isn’t the best way to go about having a baby, and it certainly hasn’t been without heartache—I suspect there is more to come—but it has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I am glad life came at me–I wouldn’t have missed him for the world. And oh yeah–I don’t know how I did it, but I got the book in on time and it performed better than anyone had hoped. Funny how those things work out.
Have you had a life-altering experience? How did it impact your life? And seriously, is he not the Cutest Baby Ever? 
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67 Comments »
67 Responses to “Life Comes At You Fast”
Judy on 25 Feb 2008 at 1:37 am #
He is the cutest baby, aw!!!
I’ve had life-altering experiences all my life, I can’t say life was especially hard, I mean who am I to complain about life when there are many who can never climb out of the rut that life has dropped us in. Without going into detail, first off I’m handicapped so not only do I have to adapt with the world but the world also has to adapt to me sometimes, not an easy thing when it wants to be in the norm. I can’t say this is a life altering experience since it’s all I’ve ever known, but it’s a day by day thing, you win some, you lose some. Second, my father, whom I’ve never had a real relationship with had a heart-attack and now lives in a convalescent home. It must be without a doubt the life-altering experience for me, honestly I don’t know how I came out of the never ending deep, again all I can say it’s a day by day process. Nothing is ever the same, it’s changed my view both of life and religion. But I figure this is the only way to grow.
evlqn on 25 Feb 2008 at 1:59 am #
Julia, yes cutest little boy baby on the planet. I quantify this because I have the two cutest little girl babies on the planet. No brag, just fact. And I have had several life altering events. The latest is the gift of my sister’s two youngest grandsons. This is the second time we have gotten them and we do not have to give them back this time. The first time my sister and I both had very good jobs in the home healthcare business. She was a resident manager of an adult care home. I was a live-in for a wonderful family for five years. I shared the job with my mom,she’s still going strong at 83. At any rate we were getting ready to go to Ireland for several weeks. Instead DHS (Dept of Human Services) called us and asked if we would take the boys because the parents were losing them. There went Ireland, then the jobs because the boys were 2 & 3 years old and scared to death. For four months my sister slept wih a child on either side of her.
evlqn on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:12 am #
We had to find a way to make a living and still have the boys with us, so we opened a daycare in our home. It helped with the socialization of the boys. The parents got them back after 18 months. Thre years ago we got them back and a year ago we got the official paperwork saying they are ours. Everyday we are reminded of how lucky we are to have these children.They are 11 &10 now and we don’t know what we would do without them. They are A students, outstanding athletes and gorgeous! Julia, everyday will be a gift from the goddess. Even when he is “nonny” because he will flash that big grin at you and you will be lost.
Kim on 25 Feb 2008 at 7:37 am #
Julia–he IS the cutest baby ever and he looks SO happy. In each of those pictures it shows what a happy, content little boy he is. I’m so proud of you. Obviously, this was a situation that happened instanteously and I’m guessing you didn’t have a lot of time to ponder over it. Bravo to you for giving this little boy a better start to life than what he might have had. Enjoy everyone of those sloppy kisses and cookie filled hugs!
And OOG, I cannot believe you wrote a book in 45 days!
Margaret Garland on 25 Feb 2008 at 7:38 am #
He is adorable naturally. What a lovely smile. And, Julia, I can only imagine what receiving this gift must have been like for you in the beginning. Babie’s ain’t easy! I imagine you didn’t even see him as a gift til later. Funny how that works.
And, for you from my grandmother “May you have stars in your crown in heaven and sit at God’s right hand.”
Good on ya, lady.
Karen Hawkins on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:02 am #
Julia, that is the MOST adorable baby EVER! And I can say that only because my two kids were the the MOST adorably babies ever, TOO!
It’s funny how kids can sneak into your heart. And so deeply that it becomes difficult to remember how you ever got along before.
My parents took foster kids. They had over 40 and some stayed for years and years — one was brought to our house on when she was nine months old and she just turned 35. My parents actually adopted her, too. It was incredible having so many kids in the house, but one thing I learned is how every child had their own gifts. Some were cute, some weren’t, some were friendly, some weren’t, some were happy and some wanted to go home. But in some way, they all wiggled into your heart and never left.
Julia, you’re a trooper to have opened your home and heart so quickly. I’m glad The Cutie has you there! Brava for having such a generous soul!
Karen Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:24 am #
Oh, Julia, I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! He’s a doll and so are you.
Life sometimes does come fast and furious at you. It’s a measure of your soul how you field that ball. Class act, Julia. You go.
We got smacked with a fast ball when my oldest was six weeks old – DH had testicular cancer and it had already spread to his lymph nodes.
NOTE TO YOU WITH DH’s and SONS 18-34 – testicular cancer happens to men in this age group and if caught early it is highly treatable. Preach, nag, do whatever you have to do, just make sure they self-examine. Soap box over for now
We did what we had to do – survived – with a lot of tears (mine) and jokes (his) and good friends (you know who you are and thank you). Now he is cancer free for 17 years and our oldest turns 18 in May. The earth continues to turn
Now I must go find Kleenex.
Susan K on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:29 am #
Julia, he is so adorable! Everytime I see a baby or a picture of one it makes me want to have one so bad!
I had a life altering experience last August when I was laid off from my job which was my only source of income. And although there is unemployment they make it really difficult to get it and keep it. It was four months before I was offered any type of job and it ended up being retail and only paying minimum wage. I took it cause I needed something. 2 months later I was offered a job and salary comparable to what I was making before. It was hard sometimes to make ends meet but somehow I managed. (And I had to give up buying books for the last 6 months. *sniff*)
My other life altering experience hasn’t happened yet but will in a month and a half. My wedding. That will definitely change things! But I’m looking forward to it.
DebMarlowe on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:55 am #
He is beautiful, Julia, and so are you! Congratulations on diffusing a difficult situation with generosity and love. You are a wonderful example to all of us.
And ditto to evlqn and judy and Karen’s dh and Susan K and everyone else who has made it through rough times. You’re not goddesses for nothing!
Patty L. on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:58 am #
Julia he is the cutest baby ever (not including my own). You are such a wonderful woman, mother, stepmother, friend, wife, to shoulder the burden without saying a word. You inspire me.
elsiehogarth on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:01 am #
Julia, you are my hero. The Cutest Baby Ever is adorable.
I have a thing for babies and their laughter. It just gets to me. It’s a certain kind of laugh that makes you smile all day long.
cail on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:11 am #
what a cutie!!! i’m so impressed that we didn’t even have an inkling that something was going on. You seemed so cool and collected that whole time.
Life changing events can be terrifying. I’m lucky that nothing has really shaken my personal world too much, other than tragedies i’ve witnessed up close.
doglady on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:31 am #
Julia, never doubt for a moment that as much as THE MOST ADORABLE BABY EVER (he really is a doll!)is a gift to you, every moment you and your DH are in his life is a miraculous gift to him. Everything you give him will be stored away like treasure to be used when life comes at him too fast. You and all of the others who take in and loved children in need are the true heroes. Any woman who has ever given birth to a child went through the same doubts, fears, and cluelessness you did. Trust me!
My life altering event was the death of my DH. I went on automatic pilot for a while. When it finally hit me he was gone, I went into a bad spiral. The way back was long and meandering. I wandered from job to job (interesting life experiences if nothing else – my stint in the funeral home was one)One of his shrink pals sat me down and said “You’ve got two choices – get busy living or get busy dying. He would want you to live.” So I did. My job SUCKS, but my writing is my salvation.
Keri Ford on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:50 am #
Julia, he is an absolute little doll! What a cutie pie! What a wonderful person you for taking on such a task! Babies are such unique little creatures, aren’t they? I’m amazed everyday as I raise my own baby and watch him react to different things.
Bless all of you for the things each of you have endured. You are all women to look up to.
JackieToo on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:53 am #
He is a cutie and I bet he gets whatever he wants when he flashes that grin!
Children add a special magic to your life that you can get no other way and you can’t understand it until you’ve lived it. It’s a fabulous roller coaster ride.
Congratulations!
Freedom Writer on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:59 am #
Julia, he is adorable. I applaud you for your bravery.
I have had several life altering experiences. First, 20 years ago, my DH injured his back. He had surgery 2 months before our 3rd child was born, which failed because he has not been pain free since then, and scar tissue form at the surgery sight that now presses on the spinal cord giving him permanent pain and numbness. He has been unable to work for almost 14 years.
Then back in 2005, our not yet 21 year old daughter came to tell us that she was going to make us grandparents. It was a difficult thought for me since I was only 25 years old myself. (Okay, so maybe I was a few years older, but not past 29) My daughter married her child’s father, and after the baby was born they went through hardship with finances, baby care, etc. They moved in with us when my granddaughter was 9 months old and when they thought they had it all together, they moved out one year later. That was last August. (cont.)
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:01 am #
Ah, thanks you guys, for indulging me and the CBE (cutest baby ever)…after your own, of course
.
Judy, you are absolutely right — I learned I could only do a day at a time and wasn’t going to figure out the big picture. But coming to that realization kept me sane.
Evlqn, you too? I am amazed at how often it happens. How lucky those kids are to have you and your sister!
Karen R — I never knew that about your DH. You guys have really weathered the rough times, haven’t you?
Susan K — I got laid off once, too–by Clinton, actually, LOL — but it lead to the life I have now. Behind every cloud…
Cail — nothing life-altering is good!
Doglady — writing is my escape, too. Without it, I really would have been a basket case!
Nicole Jordan on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:02 am #
Absolutely, he is the cutest baby on the planet! And I agree with what all the other goddesses have said… you are one special lady, Julia.
I don’t have any lifechanging events to compare to yours! I’ve had a handful, but they came at me much more slowly, such as deciding what job to take after college, deciding to get married, deciding to move to quite a few different places. Those decisions all impacted my life hugely, but they weren’t thrown at me and I had time to adjust. Plus as a major control freak, I like to be… well, in control. *G*
But I’m so happy for you, finding such joy in an unsexpected event like that. And your description about him plumping up your soul is just beautiful.
Freedom Writer on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:03 am #
Now, barely 7 months later, I was getting my writing life back on track, and we found it necessary to take in our now 2 year old granddaughter. My daughter also came along and is planning a divorce, and trying to get her life together. I am glad to have them both here, although I quite often have more company in my office than is conducive to my writing, but we are going to work it out. After all, it has only been 3 days since they came back home.
Sherri Erwin on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:04 am #
Julia, I’m in awe of what you’ve been through in the past year and it has been such a joy to be a part of you falling in love with Mr. Adorable. I am going to have to make it down to TX to visit, because every time I see that boy, I just want to scoop him up and hug him tight. Love you, man.
Nicole Jordan on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:11 am #
>>>And ditto to evlqn and judy and Karen’s dh and Susan K and everyone else who has made it through rough times. You’re not goddesses for nothing!
I second what Deb Marlowe said! And I’m adding doglady and Freedom to the list. I’m so very sorry dl. And Freedom, you are very special, too.
Gannon on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:15 am #
Julia, he is without a doubt THE CUTEST BABY EVER–of course, I said the same about my three! With that precious grin, how could you not just want to smother him with kisses! Mwwaaah!
Bless you and your husband, Julia. My oldest niece went to live with my parents when she was 12 and it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Sometimes, those unexpected events turn out to be miracles in disguise.
cail on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:24 am #
You’re right about nothing life altering being good, unless its something exciting like Susan K getting married, and people having/getting cute babies!
The Cutest-Baby-Ever reminds me of me as a baby. I too had those adorable glasses to correct my lousey vision and weak eye muscles. There is nothing cuter than a little kid in big plastic glasses, IMHO.
RachelG on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:34 am #
CUTEST BABY EVER!!!!!!!!!! And believe me, I’ve had me some extremely cute babies. I just love babies. It’s really a shame they grow up and become evil teenagers. When this baby gets to be 15 and looks at you like you are the stupidest person on the planet, just pull out your photos and remember when he was THE CUTEST BABY EVER!
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:35 am #
Oh, Freedom, I am right there with you — its hard to concentrate when someone is pulling all your papers off the desk and teh books off the bookshelf. I’ve had to adapt — and move deadlines, too — I just had to accept I can’t write as much as I used to.
.
Cail, you would be amazed at how many people ask me if they are real. I wonder, do people honestly think I would put glasses on a baby just to accessorize his outfit? And around Halloween, everyone thought he was Harry Potter, when he was CLEARLY dressed as a pirate, LOL!
Kay on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:38 am #
Julia, it takes a true goddess to do what you are doing. You and your husband are so blessed to have this cute little guy in your lives, and he is so luck that you are there for him.
It is amazing how many grandparents are raising grandchildren, and there are support groups. You are not alone. I am in awe of you.
I have to say that each of my children have been life-altering experiences, even though not as sudden as yours. We did the infertility thing and then adopted our sons (three years apart) and life has never been the same.
I can even smile when I say that about my teenager. LOL
Three cheers for all of you wonderful goddesses. I feel lucky to *know* you through this blog.
Karen Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:39 am #
Rachel, you are wise. As a mom of an 13 [ and a half, Mom ] evil teen, I often have to think back to the days when she was cute and huggable. Wayyyy back. Yeah.
Julia, don’t get rid of any of these cute pics!
RachelG on 25 Feb 2008 at 10:51 am #
It is my experience that girls go to the dark side before boys. When my son was about 11, he looked at my daughter who was 13 at the time and said to me, “She’s turned rancid.” And boy, that was the truth. He didn’t turn rancid until he was about 15.
claudia dain on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:14 am #
Julia, what a doll! And what a story. He’s adorable and precious and LOVED, that shows so clearly. I’m so happy for you. I know it hit you from nowhere and that’s always tough, even if you’re not a control freak, but you did it and you found the joy that always comes with children.
Gooey messes and sleeplessness and nagging worry come with children, too, but let’s not go there.
Women who go where they fear to tread, like a playpen or a Baby Gap, are goddesses to the bone.
Sabrina Jeffries on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:26 am #
Rachel, some girls go to the dark side very late. I was Miss Goody-two-shoes in high school, so it kind of freaked my mom out when I rebelled at age 20. She asked me when I was 30 when the rebellion stage was over, and I laughed. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t figured out that the “rebellion” had pretty much become a life choice!
Julia, your story always makes me cry!!! You’re my heroine, and yes, of COURSE he is the cutest baby ever! Except mine.
I guess I’ve had 3 life-changing experiences: being taken to Thailand to live at 7 (really changed my world view), “rebelling” at 20 after years of trying to reconcile my upbringing and my own belief system, and being told that Nick was autistic. They were all big. Hard as the last one was, I wouldn’t go back and change that for anything in the world. It’s a gift, to have your life shaken up like that, and I know you’ll see it even more as one as time goes on.
Jacquie D'Alessandro on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:39 am #
What a beautiful story, Julia. Thank you for pointing me to the blog so I could read it. And yes–he is absolutely The Cutest Baby Ever. The biggest life change for me was having a baby. My entire life, my entire perspective on everything changed in a heart beat. He’s a very lucky boy to have you and your DH taking care of him. You’re both heroes. And yes, do keep those adorable photos handy because I guarantee you there will be days, most likely when he’s 14 or 15 when you will want to sell him on EBay.
xox Jacquie
Karen Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:49 am #
Sabrina – I, too, was Miss Goody-Two-Shoes and rebelled late. For me it quasi started in college, back-burnured, then roared to a, well, a tiny flame when I was 29. That was the year I started writing, too. So, I guess that was life-altering, too. I waited to rebel until I was wise enough not to do anything too stupid, LOL.
SuzyQ on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:50 am #
Julia, you are truly amazing! And I agree with you and the others – he is the Cutest Baby Ever! (and his smile is infectious)
My life altering experience came when I found a lump above my collarbone. I just knew what it was, call it woman’s intuition. As it turns out I had Hodgkin’s Disease, which is cancer of the lymph nodes. Good thing I caught it early enough and now (knock on wood) I’ve been cancer free for 14 years. Whoo Hoo!
Karen Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:50 am #
Hey, Jacquie!!! Good to have you here on Mt. Oly.
Mia Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:51 am #
Yup, he truly is the Most Adorable Baby Ever! I especially love his Oreo face in that bottom pic… SO cute! I applaud you Julia on what you have done for an obviously wonderfuly deserving little boy. You were obviously meant to be there for him.
1 life changing moment that came to mind was that when I was about 17 and already moved out of the house, my mom took in a family firend’s daughter who was 14, abandoned in Sacramento and without a lot of possessions. Even though my mom herself didn’t have much, we gave her everything we had and I still consider her a younger sister of sorts.
The other was around that same time in my life, I had a BF who, at the tender age of 19, had already become a full fledged alcoholic. I was young & was wanting to have fun myself, but as soon as I saw what was happening, and that I was the only person to really realize, I abandoned my own teenage frivolties to try and help him the best I was a able…(cont)
Mia Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:53 am #
(cont)
I convinced him finally to let his family know, helped get him into a rehab, and did the best I could. I know I made plenty of mistakes, but I also learned a lot from the experience about myself. There was a lot of times when I was depressed about the whole thing and ready to give up, but couldn’t, and I’m happy I was able to learn about my inner strength… even if the situation sucked.
I’ll never forget that part of my life because I feel like it helped make me who I am today.
I feel like I have to say congratulations Julia, for all your wonderful work and effort you’ve given your grandbaby…
Karen Rose on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:55 am #
Knocking on wood with you, SuzyQ. I’m so glad you’re CFree. That is life-altering in so many ways.
DH was 26 when he got sick and I was 25. It molded how I looked at growing old, how I spent/saved money, and what I spent it on. We’ve had highs and lows, I’ve been laid off, out of work, and struggling to make ends meet. But through it all, we’ve been together and as long as he’s CFree and we’re all healthy, everything else is just stuff.
Julia, your baby is adorable! How do you refuse him anything?
Stephanie S. on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:59 am #
He is the cutest baby! I love your story. Life does come out you fast sometimes. Like so many others have said you just have to survive it. My life has been full of life-altering experiences. My motto has always been it’s better to laugh than cry. I don’t have any kids. However, my dad was in an accident at work that cut his right hand off at the wrist. The hand was re-attached and many surgeries later he has a helping hand. During those long months after his accident, my sister and I would take care of him (my mom had died four years earilier). I would joke that I had a 52 year old kid. It’s the tough stuff that makes us who we are today.
Kathleen Givens on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:06 pm #
You are wonderful, Julia! And the Cutest Baby Ever really is adorable. He’s so lucky to have you in his life. I thought you were pretty great before you got him thrown at you. Now I think you’re fabulous! What a wonderful thing you’ve done to give him such a great start.
And to everyone else who’s had to overcome life’s slings and arrows – kudos all around, ladies, and know you’re not alone. Life can be verrry interesting, can’t it? Glad you’re all here to talk about it.
Give that little guy a big hug for me, Julia! And one for yourself for being such a loving and generous person.
Robyn DeHart on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:10 pm #
Julia, he is so stinking adorable and even cuter in person. I nearly hid him away at Emily’s shower so I could take him home with me.
Thanks for your story, now I’m sitting here crying instead of writing.
My life altering moment…well, one of them, being diagnosed with infertility. It sucks. We’re still fighting it too. We are determined to be parents one of these days.
zambonigirl on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:24 pm #
Cutest baby ever. His cheeks need to be gnawed on until they’re pink with hickeys. What a little sweetie!
Suzanne Enoch on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:27 pm #
Yes, Julia, he is the cutest baby ever.
That said, 45 FREAKIN’ DAYS! If I wasn’t such a benevolent goddess, I might wish to smite you. *g*
amy1242 on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:49 pm #
Absolutely, the Cutest Baby Ever, (just like my own were)!! Congrat’s on your addition! And what a smart lady you are to know he is a treasure and blessing all wrapped into one. You are truly blessed with a large, loving, giving heart. Parenting can be a very trying time for all of us, but somehow we make it through the hilarity and heartaches, and bravely march on, head held high and proud as heck at what we’ve accomplished. War wounds, be damned. You are a good person. Do not doubt yourself in this. And when he’s old enough to enjoy it, take him to the bat bridge in town. It’s an absolute favorite of ours!
Santa on 25 Feb 2008 at 1:12 pm #
That is ONE CUTE BABY!!! And I know from cute babies, let me tell you!
M’hat’s off you! I’m 44 with three kids under the age of 11 and I’m ruddy exhausted!
As to life changing experiences I’d have to go with the death of my older brother three years ago of congestive heart failure. He was forty-four of age. Four years earlier he decided to get in shape, quit smoking and discovered he had extensive damage to his heart. Apparantly he never felt the two heart attacks he’d had. He had Type II diabetes, an incideous disease, which can mask signs of an attack. He was always one of the first businesses to volunteer for various charities. We created a memorial fund in his name and each year we hold a family fun day at the outdoor facilites of our gym. We raise monies for the American Diabetes Association and have raised $36,000 to date.
I miss my brother every day and often wonder – WTH – but knowing that we honor his generosity and memory in this way keeps him close.
LauraR on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:09 pm #
That adorable baby is one lucky boy to have you Julia! I can almost hear his giggles from the pictures.
I am in awe of all of you here.
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:19 pm #
Amy, are you an Austinite? We took him to Zilker yesterday.
Wow, so many of you have had far bigger life-altering events. I am really impressed with you you have persevered. Santa, $36k is an enormous amount of money. Way to go!!!!
Karen Hawkins on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:50 pm #
Julia, what a great topic! You and the CKE (Cutest Kid Ever) are to be congratulated on making it through the pre-schedule weeks and into the nice, snuggly place you are now. That takes a true goddess-like amount of energy and focus for you both!
As for the rest of you — I’m impressed and humbled with the amount of grit and go we have here on the Mt. It’s simply amazing. Goddesses, all of you!
I’ve had some travails in my own life, though they are very piddling compared to all of yours. At the time, though, they hurt. Still, I can’t think of a one where I didn’t walk away from it with some sort of gift.
Perhaps the secret is to be open to the changes and pain that life deals us and to make it through them to the blessing on the other side.
Santa, I love how you turned your brother’s death into a positive for the whole family! What a great way to show how much he was and is loved. AWESOME!
Paula on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:10 pm #
Julia you are truly a saint (and your DH as well) he’s so cute that smile makes me want to pick him up and smother him with kisses and hugs, you are one in a million. My boys were both cute babies and are now slowly turning in to boys with attittude (they are only 7and 4).
The major life altering event that I can think of is when my dad became seriously ill when I was 9 and having been told he wouldn’t survive he fought back from a brain haemorrage( my mum had 4 of us ranging in age from 7 up to 16) and lived on for another 14 years when he died from a massive stroke in his sleep. I still miss him to this day and only regret that he didn’t get to see my 2 boys. He knew my DH so I draw comfort from that.
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:11 pm #
Stephanie S, that sounds soooo painful! He’s lucky you guys were there for him.
Robyn, I’ve thought of you — it doesn’t seem fair at all, but I really hope you get what you want.
amy1242 on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:25 pm #
Julia, I am a Wisconsonite, born and raised, but if I ever leave here, I would pick Austin as my very first choice. My oldest brother lives there with his family and I try to visit them once a year. The first time I was in Austin, it reminded me of Madison, WI, only so much better! My dad was in Lago Vista for a long time too, and just moved back to WI in December. He’s hating the snow and cold up here and is thinking of moving back to the Austin area already. Our next trip is scheduled for late summer/early fall, still working out the dates. We always have a good time at Zilker. The bats are amazing!
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 4:26 pm #
Oh Paula, those losses can be so hard to bear. My grandfather died when I was 12 and I still think of him and miss him.
Amy, most of us try to get out of town late summer/early fall, LOL — its too dang hot!
anneriailin on 25 Feb 2008 at 4:48 pm #
Julia, congrats on the CBE. He’s a cutie, and as I tell my own kids, it’s a darn good thing they were so cute…it’s probably the ONLY reason they survived to adulthood!
Inspiring stories from all. My own is that I’m a single mom and have been for the past 15 years, working two jobs and raising two boys. Both have gone to college and my ‘baby’ turns 21 in less than a week!
–dorothy
Santa on 25 Feb 2008 at 4:58 pm #
CBE – I like that!
As usual, I ran in read and posted but have since read all the posts and am in awe of what a fantastic group of women – I’m sorry – goddesses are here!
Cheers all around!
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 5:01 pm #
Dorothy, HOOO-RAY!! What a proud accomplishment for you all!
Santa, I do the same thing — but I am in awe, too. I love this group!
Kay on 25 Feb 2008 at 5:19 pm #
Robyn, *hugs* and good thoughts coming your way from me. Everyone’s experience with infertility is different. Take care of yourself. We’ll all be hoping for the best for you.
Judy F on 25 Feb 2008 at 5:22 pm #
what a cutie pie. I read this story this morning and was to moved to comment. Life does throw us curves sometimes. Glad you two found each other.
have gone through the usual life changing events, jobs ending etc. Right now is mine and my siblings biggest, dealing with aging parents. Dad is 83, mom is 82. Dad fell almost two weeks ago, broke his humerus and it fighting us every step of the way with doing his exercises.
MoabReader on 25 Feb 2008 at 5:30 pm #
Julia, I just want to sympathize with your situation. It’s amazing how many grandparents are raising kids these days. You are definitely not alone. And I happen to think it’s better to have control over the situation than to worry if your baby is being cared for properly or what he might see. I hate worrying about my nephew, but I have to accept that the universe has a plan for him, and as long as I love him and support him, everything will be ok.
colinfirthfan on 25 Feb 2008 at 6:12 pm #
Aww! He is so cute!! Julia, congratulations on the new addition! Babies are soo much fun (and so much work).
Paula, my boys are 7 and 4 too!
My life altering moment was suddenly losing my Dad and six months later just as suddenly my Mom. I still miss them dreadfully but that horrible feeling like I was abandoned has finally gone (after 7 years). My oldest was just 8 months old when my Dad died so they never got to see my youngest at all.
Thankfully I have an awesome brother and sister and brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Not ti mention neices, neohews, aunts, uncles and cousins who are very helpful and we are all very very close.
Kim on 25 Feb 2008 at 7:01 pm #
The Goddesses are all wonderful. We’re amazing and tough and resilent and just plain fabulous! I definitely think our theme song should be the one that says “I’m every woman…” or “I am woman, hear me roar!”
And Santa’s event is fabulous! They do a fantastic job and it is a wonderful way to remember a loved one.
Lisa H on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:52 pm #
Oh I have been sick all day and am just now getting on the blog.
Julia – you are amazing and I love you for what you are doing for this little boy. He is beautiful and as a mom of 3 I can honestly say, all babies are beautiful gifts from God.
We had a “surprise” pregnancy when I was 39. I wasn’t overjoyed at first…but now, oh my, I couldn’t ever imagine one day without him.
You are doing the work of the angels, and both your life and that of Mr. Adorable will be greatly enriched because of it.
Lisa H on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:52 pm #
I am so happy for this unexpected blessing in your life!
Julia London on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:20 pm #
Moab, the thing I hated about the grandparent angle is that all the stuff the state gave me would show doddering old people with babies. Where are the hip 40 somethings? The cool 50 somethings? But then a doctor friend told me one of her patients was 82 with a 12 year old grandson. She is all he has left in the world. Wow.
Lisa, one of my best friends got pregnant by accident for the first time when she was 40. She was married, but they’d never been able toconceive. Well, the heel left her–he couldn’t handle it. So she has been raising that child alone. My hat is off to her. Jack London and I talk all the time about how there is no way we could do it without two of us.
Colinfirthfan, that breaks my heart — so glad you have the support of a loving family. I had yet another friend who lost her parents, but the family is so dysfunctional that she doesn’t have anything to do with her siblings. That’s one for the count your blessings column!
Audrey on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:22 pm #
Julia, I feel for you. I’ve been providing day (and evening and night) care for our daughter and her fiance while they try to get ahead enough to get a down payment, etc. I’m going to be turning 50 this year and I feel about 70 some days – that little girl could give someone half my age a run for their money! But like many of you have said already, I wouldn’t change it for the world, especially when I think of grandparents who don’t get to see their grandchildren very often.
I’m not going to list the life changing events here that DH and I have been through but I think above all I learned that this too shall pass – just keep slogging away.
evlqn on 26 Feb 2008 at 12:21 am #
Julia, I know just what you mean about all the hoops the state puts you through. The first time we got the boys we had to do it totally on our own dime. There was this lovely loophole that says , if you volunteer to take a family member the state has no obligation to help. Of course they do reserve the right to yank said child if they get the urge. The second time we got the boys we had wised up a little and insisted on help from the state. We got the boys and ourselves into counseling, they had to help with scholarships for sports, and medical cards. And this time around the parents have to pay child support. But even if we didn’t get any help from anyone we would have still hitched up our big girl panties and dealt with it, because our boys are worth everything to us. We lost our tirp to Ireland, our stock portfolio, our credit and nearly our house and we gained the world. I figure we got a pretty even trade.
Aimee on 26 Feb 2008 at 12:29 am #
He is a beautiful child, and you… You Julia are BEYOND freaking awesome.
That boy is so lucky to have you
I’ve had a few world shakers in my life so far, but you just focus on yours
Jami Alden on 26 Feb 2008 at 1:40 pm #
Julia, I was already a fan of you as an author, but this shows what an amazing person you are. he is so cute, and you are a fantastic wife and step mom to take this on! I’ve got 2 under the age of 3, so I know what you’re dealing with! But being cute is an evolutionary thing so you can remember how cute they were and how much they love you when they eventually, as Rachel said, turn rancid!
Phyllis Lamken on 28 Feb 2008 at 3:18 pm #
He is a beautiful boy. Lucky, lucky you. Undoubtedly there will be heartache. Whenever you love someone, there will be heartache. But it is worth it.