Evil Laughter
Feb 16th 2008
Claudia DainGoddess Grins
Here’s the set up: my DH is sick. He’s been sick for six days and is despairing of ever feeling normal again. Of course, he gets 
sick about once a decade and it normally lasts about eighteen hours (snarl), so he’s a bit spoiled on the Sick Meter. Anyway, he crawls out of bed pre-dawn because he can’t sleep for the coughing and the fever and aches, and he opens the door to the laundry room to feed the cat her juicy breakfast, and with his big bare foot steps–plop–into a pile of wet cat poop. (That’s a picture of the poop perp.)
Okay, that’s funny.
I’m sorry, I know I should feel sorry for the guy, but that’s just truly funny. I laughed until I had tears running down my face. I laughed so hard that he started laughing, too. And he should have laughed, because dang, that was funny.
When have you laughed at something or someone when maybe, just maybe, it might have been a tad insensitive? Although still completely understandable. Because, I’m telling you now, I am not going to feel guilty about laughing at the cat poop oozing between his toes.
33 Comments »
33 Responses to “Evil Laughter”
Lisa H on 16 Feb 2008 at 8:57 am #
Oh Claudia—so funny. I have to get back to you, I can’t think of anything right now.
I do remember coming home from Catholic School in the ninth grade, and being very upset because a boy in my class broke the fingers off the Virgin Mary statue in the school’s yard. My mother howled with laughter. I was apalled that she would think it was funny. She finally told me that the Virgin Mary doesn’t come up in conversation very often.
doglady on 16 Feb 2008 at 9:50 am #
I almost fell out of my chair laughing! Poor guy! Been there, done that! My brother put a new motor in my Ranger and thought he had everything hooked up correctly. My other brother asked if it was okay to start putting the fluids back in while mechanic brother was under the Ranger. Mechanic brother says “fine.” Every ounce of five quarts of oil ran out of the bottom of the Ranger onto my brother’s head. Mom and I hear yelling and run out to check on them. Mechanic brother looks like a very pissed off wildcatter and the other brother is doubled over gasping with laughter. We lost it.
Of course the icing incident I told you about yesterday was topped off by everyone in the bakery falling out laughing AFTER the District Manager walked away. Don’t worry. I’ll get them. And their little dogs too!
Keri Ford on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:10 am #
Claudia! I laugh at my hubby for doing this stuff! Two of my favorites that brought me to shaking tears:
-I’d sprayed the shower down with scrubbing bubbles one afternoon. The hubby came home and I followed him in the bathroom while telling him something or other and completely forgot about the scrubbing bubbles all over the shower. He stepped in (you have to step up a few inches) and his foot went right out from under him. He didn’t just stumble and fall, oh no, he twisted in midair and landed smack on his face on the floor. It was like watching a cartoon slip on a banana.
-I’d followed him outside, boy was I ever glad I did. He was saying something, grabbed the truck door and jerked it open. Too bad his head was in way of the swinging door. He popped HIMSELF with the door right in the head! He blacked out and stumbled backward, landing on the ground. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life watching him hit himself with the door.
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:29 am #
Oh, too funny, Doglady! That’s the kind of thing that would happen to my DH since he spends half his life under a car or on top of a car or looking at car porn on the internet.
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:30 am #
Keri! I’m surprised your DH is still functional! Doesn’t he have severe brain damage from all those falls by now?
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:32 am #
Lisa, that is so funny about your mom and the Virgin Mary. I also love how we look at things differently at different ages. What shocks us at 15 delights us at 45. Or visa versa.
DebMarlowe on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:36 am #
When my kids were little they were big time into Buzz Lightyear and all things Toy Story. Someone in my family got the oldest one–about 4 years old at the time–an Emperor Zurg Room Protector. Basically it was a tall figure with a motion detector that would burst into deep, maniacal laughter when something came into the path of its sensors. Then it would say witty things like, “You’re entering forbidden space.”
Well, the youngest one, who was about 18 months old, wandered in front of it for the first time. It whizzed into motion, let out its huge scary belly laugh and scared the living bejoobies out of him. OMG, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard. His whole body jerked with the shock of it and the expression on his face was priceless! I think my mom actually peed her pants.
DebMarlowe on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:37 am #
Claudia–your poor hubby! I hope he feels better. Tell him you heard on the internet that cat poop contains heretofor undiscovered antiviral properties and he’s sure to recover in no time!
Freedom Writer on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:40 am #
Keri, LMAO I too am surprised your DH is still functional.
Karen Rose on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:45 am #
DebM - your Zurg story made me think of something that happened to my youngest. We were at Disney World one summer and I think she was about four. We’d spent the day at Epcot in the World Pavilion area and were at France when the sky opened up and torrential rain began to fall - the norm for FL afternoons. What better place to wait out the storm than the pastry shop at France? Ooh la la.
So DH had the kids in the eating area and I was waiting in line. Thunder cracked and I heard an ear-splitting shriek and a second later my youngest bolted into the pastry shop and launched herself at me. She’s deaf, but sometimes can hear thunder, so I picked her up and hugged her.
cont…
Karen Rose on 16 Feb 2008 at 10:47 am #
We got the pastries and when we went back into the eating area, I was surprised to patrons smiling and chuckling as we went past. In the eating area was a living statue - the kind that they cover in white. SHe looked like a Grecian goddess actually, LOL.
Youngest shrieked again as we went past - the statue had come to life right in front of her and that was the shriek I’d heard. Apparently the whole place had gotten an evil laugh and I laughed, too.
It was a long time before I could convince her to approach a statue again, ha!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 11:24 am #
Karen, that is too funny! I’m with your daughter on that (and I’m way older than four); things that move that aren’t supposed to move—freak out!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 11:27 am #
DebM, on the subject of kids who get scared to death and the parents who find it hilarious, I once heard wailing, truly terrified screaming coming from my youngest, who was a baby at the time. I found him wedged between the wall and the back of the toilet, trying to crawl forward and ESCAPE. No way out, kiddo.
I grabbed the camera and got a picture of him, then I pulled him out and calmed him down.
Cue Evil Laughter…
SuzyQ on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:09 pm #
I can remember when my son was about almost 3. At the time, we used to put a gate across his door at night so he wouldn’t wander around the house while we were sleeping. We had a really bad storm one night and right after this huge crack of thunder, we heard the gate come crashing down. My dh ran to the hall and flicked on the light. By this time I was right behind him. There was my son, clutching his doggy, white as a ghost, and he looks up at us and says “What in the heck was that?!” He repeated it again. I couldn’t help it - I just burst out laughing. Once he saw us laughing he calmed down.
Cookiedough on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:53 pm #
I can just see the poor man with cat barf between his toes! that has happened to me too many times.
I know I have some evil laughter stories…I just have to search my non-functioning brain to find them
Lisa H on 16 Feb 2008 at 1:10 pm #
These stories are too funny!!!!
Claudia - you have a very pretty cat.
ronlyn on 16 Feb 2008 at 1:31 pm #
oh dear! LOL. Back when I was pg with our oldest DH got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom becuase I’d woken him up on one of my midnight trips. Anyway, there was a big ol pile of cat gak on the floor which I’d seen up ignored. Scott of course stepped right in it with his bare foot and snarled and grunted and griped all the while he cleaned it up. He came back to bed and reported “Someone puked on the floor.”
Someone? Seriously?? I still giggle when I think of that one.
Or how about the “Mommy!! I’m stuck!!” moments:
[img]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5cf09b3127cce95d9e8c8def900000025118AatWLli3atF[/img]
or
[img]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5cf06b3127cce95d594c0d15100000025118AatWLli3atF[/img]
hopefully those will work. The first was my oldest who highcentered himself while climbing over 2 baby gates.
the second he’s stuck in a big vase.
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 1:39 pm #
Thanks, Lisa! She’s a nice cat, when she isn’t pooping in the house.
Sabrina Jeffries on 16 Feb 2008 at 2:39 pm #
The only one that sticks out in my mind actually happened to my mother. In Thailand, we had an all wooden floor house with the wooden polished to a high sheen. So one day my dad was going down the stairs in his socks, and slipped on the stairs in such a way that fell right on his butt, then proceeded to bump down the stairs the whole way on his butt. My mom laughed so hard she cried. My dad kept complaining, but she couldn’t stop laughing. As she describes it, he just went, “boop, boop, boop” down the stairs.
Wish I’d been there to see it. I would probably have laughed, too!
Karen Hawkins on 16 Feb 2008 at 3:14 pm #
These are priceless! I can glad I’m not the only one to laugh at other people’s falls, bolts, bruises and such. But then, I laugh at mine, too!
A friend of mine had a garage door opener that stopped working, so she had to manually open and close it while waiting for the part. She didn’t know to unhook the not-working unit while waiting, so one day, she goes to open the door and she puts her hands above her head to push and WHIRL, the dang things starts working again and clamps her fingers in the folding door. Not hard enough to hurt, mind you, but hard enough to lift her up, on her tiptoes where it WHi r l l l l …. stops.
There she is standing with her fingers trapped in a garage door over her heads, standing on her tip toes, yelling for help! Her husband was in the house and he said, “You know, I heard one of the cats making a really strange noise and I went to see what it was when I looked out the window and saw her hanging there.”
He got her out but . . . BWHAHAHA!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 3:23 pm #
KarenH, it didn’t hurt??!!!??? She must have had fingers of steel. Plus, I wouldn’t be on my tiptoes; I’d be hanging in mid air!
Adding to the stories (because I have so many), one time my mom and sister and I were in a restaurant, in a booth, my sister having one side to herself. This waitress goes by with a huge tray loaded to the rafters with dirty dishes and coming from the other side is another waitress coming with a tray full of food.
You could see it coming.
They both swerved, leaned, and the whole shebang landed on my sister. She was covered in bits of chewed bread, clam chowder, trails of spaghetti, milk…literally spilled milk. The entire restaurant hushed at the sound of the crash as the plates hit the floor, the table, my sister. I thought the waitress was going to have a heart attack.
And then my mother and I started laughing so hard that we couldn’t breathe. My sister joined in, once the shock had worn off. We’re a family of evil laughers.
Cookiedough/Kathy on 16 Feb 2008 at 3:35 pm #
I sat down with my family for a nice Christmas dinner. I asked for pepper, which my sister had just refilled.
I shook the it just a bit and plop! all the pepper comes spewing out onto my entire plate of goodies! It was the large super sized family kind of shaker too!
we all burst out laughing!
I’ve since bought my sister teeny shaker sets for every place setting so at least if it happens to again, there isn’t much pepper.
we all all evil laughers in my family.
I once bought a birthday card for my brother that told a long winding story about a neutered dog who was really a prince. Suffice it to say my just vasectomied brother wasn’t too impressed with the funny story!
insert diabolical laughter here!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 4:38 pm #
Oh, Kathy, I LOVE the birthday card story. How hysterical!! Men are so weird about their vasectomies. Boggles the mind.
Jane on 16 Feb 2008 at 6:18 pm #
I laugh when people slip and fall on the floor or when they walk into a door. Half of me is concerned about their injury and the other half finds it humorous. I can’t help it, I laugh at the most inopportune times.
Yasmin on 16 Feb 2008 at 7:59 pm #
One time my sister was getting out of the car and the sidewalk “moved” away from her. She ended up complete on the grass. I had gotten out of the car and didnt see her and then she gets up. The funny part is that she tried to play it off. We still tease about it even years after it has happened.
catslady on 16 Feb 2008 at 8:04 pm #
At our house with 6 cats it’s always cat throwup and hairballs that get stepped on - I’m the one usually laughing at my husband who doesn’t find it as amusing as me!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 8:40 pm #
Oh, Yasmin, your moving sidewalk story reminds me of the time my mom tried out a mini-bike…and drove it right up the front porch steps! She was so shocked by the throttle that she forgot to turn the handlebars! We laughed about that for years!
Claudia Dain on 16 Feb 2008 at 8:41 pm #
Catslady, you know, my cat has never coughed up a hairball and I don’t know why. Or maybe she has and I’ve yet to find it?
Eeewwww!
doglady on 16 Feb 2008 at 9:46 pm #
This is on evil bunch of women! Our relatives are probably all on their knees thanking God we don’t have video cameras!
My Great Aunt Icie was one of the meanest people to ever live. When I moved into this area I became the de facto Aunt Icie watcher. She was @90 when we decided to take the car keys. Why? I get a call at my office one day “Pamela, I’ve had an accident and the policeman won’t let me drive my car. Come and speak to him at once.” (Imagine a 90 year old Weezer from Steele Magnolias, only meaner.) I get there. My aunt is sitting behind the wheel of her car. It has indeed been in an accident with another car. I asked what happened. The officer says “Your aunt says the Toyota ran into her.” “Did it? Have you talked to the other driver?” “Ma’am, there was no other driver. Your aunt hit a parked car.” I looked. Not only was the car parked, it was up on blocks on the curb! Two cops are standing there doing their best not to laugh and I lost it. Completely lost it. So did they
Nicole Jordan on 17 Feb 2008 at 11:16 am #
You guys are so baaaad. And so funny. Thanks for the great stories.
Sonja Foust on 18 Feb 2008 at 1:24 pm #
I would have laughed too. Poop is pretty much always funny. (Am I allowed to admit that?)
I must admit to laughing at my poor dog sometimes. Husband likes to tease her with a little remote control car. She HATES it, and she’ll bark and bark and try to bite it and then jump back when it moves. It’s awfully hard to yell at your husband to stop teasing the poor dog when you’re laughing so hard you can barely speak.
Josie on 22 Feb 2008 at 12:44 pm #
Okay, the story about the mean aunt- that is waaay too funny. I would have just died laughing. My husband also does mean things to our dog, and I’m always trying to get him to stop, but I”m normally laughing too hard to be successful.
My dog is a big dork, actually. She loves light. Like light from a flashlight. Pick up a flashlight, and she wont leave your sight. So my husband, to amuse himself, will sit in his chair in the evening, and shine the flashlight all over the front room. In addition to shining the light around and around in circles on the ceiling (my dog “chases” it- like she’s chasing her tail!) so many times my dog can’t walk straight for following the light, he also runs the light up to the wall, and then my dog runs her snout (HARD) into the wall. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but it’s really too, too funny!
Tylenol. on 12 Mar 2008 at 4:46 pm #
Tylenol….
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