Ya Don’t Say!
Jan 16th 2008
Nicole JordanOn Writing!
Words are a writer’s bread and butter, so early on we learn to avoid using cliches and worn-out phrases that can drag a reader out of a story. Sometimes, however, you can make clever plays on well-known sayings that actually add value, as in the case of Goddess Sabrina’s upcoming February release, LET SLEEPING ROUGES LIE. What a fun title!
So for our latest Goddess contest, I thought we would play a game with proverbs – short sayings that have become so ingrained in the English language, we know them by heart.
The rules: Take some common proverbs and come up
with your own versions. Resident Goddesses (those with statues on our logo) are encouraged to participate although not eligible to win prizes. Handmaiden Kim will help me judge the entries since I know it’ll be hard.
The prize: The most creative entry will win a signed copy of Book 1 of my Courtship Wars trilogy, TO PLEASURE A LADY, which hits store shelves in two weeks.
Three examples to get you started:
“If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.”
My version: If wishes were horses, Nicole would be very happy.
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
My version: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks – and husbands are even harder.
“This too shall pass.”
Handmaiden Kim’s version: This too will drag on and on forevah!
Here’s the list we’ll be working with:
– Revenge is a dish best served cold.
– Necessity is the mother of invention.
– All is fair in love and war.
– A woman’s work is never done.
– Beauty is skin deep.
– Don’t count your chickens until they are hatched.
– Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
– Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.
– The best things in life are free.
– Silence is golden.
– The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
– You can’t take it with you when you die.
So go to it, Goddesses! Tell us your versions of these well-known sayings.
98 Comments »
98 Responses to “Ya Don’t Say!”
Ann M. on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:55 am #
A woman’s work is never done because men can’t multitask.
Cathie on 16 Jan 2008 at 2:41 am #
We can only learn to love by loving…Nicole’s books
Cindy W. on 16 Jan 2008 at 3:35 am #
You can’t take chocolate with you when you die, so eat up and be merry.
Chez on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:09 am #
All’s fair in love and war unless you lose, then whinging becomes mandatory.
freshechelle on 16 Jan 2008 at 6:39 am #
Scratch my back.
Silence is golden so shut the hell up.
And an extra credit for anyone who has worked for a foreign company… “The French. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t keep letting the Germans invade.”
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:29 am #
Revenge is best served with raging passion.
The best things in life are found between the sheets.
True beauty goes beneath the skin to the very heart.
The female is always more deadly than the male, for the female is more intelligent.
A woman’s work is never done unless you have a maid and cook.
Pleasure my back and I’ll pleasure yours.
Early to bed, for loads of fun, early to rise for loads of work.
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:40 am #
Early to bed, early to rise…makes for great sex
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:41 am #
Maxed out credit cards are the mother of invention.
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:43 am #
Beauty is skin deep…and it cost $85 dollars a jar at Neiman Marcus
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:44 am #
You can’t take it with you when you die….so kill the others first.
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:47 am #
The female of the species is more deadly than the male…she can plot your death while watching reruns of Sex and the City.
Gannon on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:52 am #
A woman’s work is never done, because she has to do the damn man’s work, too!
Revenge is a dish best served cold…preferably topped with whipped cream and a cherry!
Necessity is the Mother’s invention!
Gannon on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:00 am #
You can’t take it with you when you die, so for God’s sake, buy those shoes!
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise…and horny!
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:16 am #
You can’t take it with you when you die, so suck every last drop like an orange.
Silence is for people like Donald Trump and Tom Cruise.
You can’t teach an old dog a new trick, but you might be able to bribe him.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:17 am #
Don’t count on the cable man until he has pulled in your driveway.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:17 am #
This too shall pass…slowly and with great pain and shall become fodder for gossip.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:18 am #
The mother of invention is a woman with more than two kids.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:19 am #
I’ll determine your beauty, show me your skin!
Freedom Writer on 16 Jan 2008 at 8:30 am #
The best things in life are chocolate and diamonds.
Invention is the necessity of the mother.
SuzyQ on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:06 am #
A woman’s work is never done because men can’t do laundry.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:12 am #
You can’t take it with you when you die, so play with it alot right now.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:13 am #
Golden retrievers are not silent.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:14 am #
Nicole, can you tell I want your book?
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:15 am #
Necessity is a plethora of romance novels.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:18 am #
Necessity is the chant of Visa and Mastercard.
OV_099 on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:33 am #
Revenge is a dish best served with chocolate!
A woman’s work is never done because someone went and invented the internet and blogs.
All is fair in chocolate and peanut butter with chocolate.
Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, unless your my cat, then I’ll scratch your back, but of course she won’t scratch mine. Sigh.
The best things in life come with free chocolate!
Silence is golden, and worth just as much as gold is too nowadays!
Lois
Kim on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:39 am #
WOW you guys have been busy this morning. These are all so good!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:43 am #
The best things in life are free. Of course the handling charges might just kill you!
Nicole Jordan on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:51 am #
ROFL!! You goddesses are just so much fun. I knew this was going to be darn hard. I already have a dozen favorites.
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:54 am #
Late to bed and early to rise makes a woman about average!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:55 am #
All’s fair in love, war and the pursuit of chocolate!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:56 am #
All’s fair in love, war and the pursuit of FROS Santa hat guy!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:58 am #
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Getting even comes hot with gravy and two sides!
SuzyQ on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:02 am #
The best things in life are free - plus tax
RachelG on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:02 am #
Shave your back and I’ll scratch it.
SnikWhite on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:02 am #
Revenge is a dish best served on ice, shaken with a twist.
SnikWhite on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:03 am #
The best things in life are free, but the things we WANT only go on clearance when our credit cards are maxed out.
SnikWhite on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:11 am #
Silence is Golden, but this club is silver. Any questions?
Keri Ford on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:24 am #
– You can’t take it with you when you die so leave it all to me!
SuzyQ on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:32 am #
Early to bed and early to rise, gets me Nicole’s new book first, from the store’s supplies.
Helen K on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:47 am #
You can’t take it with you when you fly.
(Or is that just me? Darn airlines!)
Mia Rose on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:56 am #
HaHaHa, these are all so great!
Here’s what I am able to come up with before my coffee and before 8:am.
Scratch my back, then go ahead and rub for a bit.
Don’t count your chickens, hire someone to count them for you once they’ve hatched.
Necessity is the mother of passion.
Silence is golden when a man causes you to lose the ability to speak.
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:04 am #
These are fantastic…This one came to me on Interstate 95….
WINE IS THE SMOTHER OF RETENTION.
(this is way too much fun!)
PJ on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:07 am #
OMG! These are hilarious! RachelG, love love love “Shave your back and I’ll scratch it”. ROFL!
PJ on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:09 am #
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but the old dog teaches me new ones every day.
PJ on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:10 am #
All is fair in the book aisle at Walmart on release day.
PJ on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:12 am #
The female of the species is more deadly than the male. Just ask the man who took the last Reese’s peanut butter cup out of the candy bowl.
Mia Rose on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:16 am #
All is fair in love and war…It makes for great novels.
Beauty is soul deep, THEN bone deep, and lastly skin deep. Get your priorities straight.
Revenge is a dish best served ICE cold, for it hurts more when you throw it.
Mia Rose on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:19 am #
This is so much fun Nicole!
I know I’m not going to get any work done today…
A woman’s work is never done because she is never satisfied.
Helen K on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:27 am #
For our Regency Misses:
All Snare a Duke or an Earl
No Viscount shall be
nor a mere Mister shall see
unless, of course, he is fabulously wealth-y
(The ancient and the out of shape need not try for me)
Ellen on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:29 am #
LOL Mia…Love the revenge one!
KariE on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:30 am #
Scratch my butt and I’ll kick yours.
The best things in life aren’t free of calories.
Silence is golden in a room full of Tourett Syndrome patients.
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, just ask Lorenna Bobbit.
You can’t take it with you when you die so just give it to me now.
Sabrina Jeffries on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:44 am #
These are all great!!!
I thought about signing copies of Beware with the phrase, “Revenge is a dish best served HOT!” but it was too long so I settled for “Revenge is sweet!” But maybe I’ll take a tip from Lisa H and leave out the “is a dish” part! Because I always loved that play on words for my book.
cail on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:19 pm #
wow. these are all so good. i wish i had time to do this today… maybe i will later.
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pm #
Oh these are so funny. I too would not scratch a hairy back! (Now a hairy front is another story!)
Freedom Writer on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:34 pm #
Revenge is best smothered in chocolate.
The best things in life are free of guilt. (and smothered in chocolate.)
You can’t take it with you when you die, unless you’re a vampire.
Nicole Jordan on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:35 pm #
You guys are making my job so hard!!! These are priceless.
Keri Ford on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:35 pm #
– Revenge is a dish best served as full course meal—little by little until getting to the main helping.a
Keri Ford on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:36 pm #
pardon that little ‘a’. my boy thought he’d help type!
Mia Rose on 16 Jan 2008 at 12:47 pm #
You CAN take it with you when you die, dressed in Prada, Vicki’s lingerie, with Manolo shoes and a Louis handbag.
Late to bed and late to rise, makes a woman hungover and full of lies.
KariE on 16 Jan 2008 at 1:13 pm #
A woman’s work is done right the first time.
Kim on 16 Jan 2008 at 1:47 pm #
Guys, guys, how am I supposed to narrow this list down? WOW! It always amazes me, the creativity that comes off this blog. You’re all doing awesome!
A handmaidens job is never done with great entries such as these!
Mia Rose on 16 Jan 2008 at 2:19 pm #
By The Way,
Don’t count your chickens until they are hatched… count the eggs. Duh.
How about,
A man’s work is never done, if he has a smart woman behind him nagging.
or
All is passionate in love and war.
ilovetoread on 16 Jan 2008 at 3:14 pm #
Silence is golden and chocolate is bliss!
Beauty is skin deep — but ugly is to the bone!!
Revenge is a dish best served cold and unexpectedly!
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, therefore stay far, far away from the book aisle on a female’s favorite author’s release day!!
You can’t take it with you when you die and don’t even think about giving it to someone else before then!!
The best things in life are free since you’re buying!!
Crystal B. on 16 Jan 2008 at 3:43 pm #
Revenge is best served with a whip while wearing stillettos.
The best things in life can be bought with a gold card.
You can’t take it with you so spend, spend, spend!
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:02 pm #
The best things in life begin with a wife!
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:04 pm #
All’s fair in war, fairer in love.
You can’t teach an old man, jump on a young one.
Paula on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:34 pm #
How about : “A woman’s work is done from son up until son down!!
KariE on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:50 pm #
I like that one Paula!
Paula on 16 Jan 2008 at 4:52 pm #
KariE, my sister has a fridge magnet with a twist of that on it, I love it too.
Freedom Writer on 16 Jan 2008 at 5:01 pm #
A woman’s work is never done, but time off to get a pedicure every once in a while doesn’t hurt.
You can’t teach an old man new tricks, but if you catch them young you can teach them to put down the toilet seat.
If silence is golden then a little well placed duct tape can make you rich.
Early to bed is more comfortable than falling asleep in your recliner.
Kim on 16 Jan 2008 at 5:31 pm #
Soooo many uses for duct tape, Freedom Writer. LOL
Emmiebee on 16 Jan 2008 at 6:23 pm #
How about:
Early to bed and early to rise
In nought but a smile, with fabulous thighs-
T’will bring joy to my heart and light to my eyes
In memory when I am ancient and wise.
Tada!
-Emmiebee, occasional poet
ladydawgfan on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:28 pm #
– Necessity is the mother of invention, but Frustration is the mother of Necessity.
– All is fair in love and war, especially when it comes to exploiting the weaknesses of a tenderhearted man.
– A woman’s work is never done when she lives in a house full of guys and dogs.
– Don’t count your chickens until they are hatched, then deep fry them and make dinner.
– Early to bed and early to rise, makes me realize I have no life.
– The best things in life are free, at least until the IRS says otherwise.
– Silence is golden, unless you are a comedian.
– The female of the species is more deadly than the male, especially at a 50% off sale at a shoe store.
– You can’t take it with you when you die, so bury my butt in furs, diamonds, Manolo Blahniks, Christian Dior, etc . . . Damn, I’m gonna look goooood when I get to the other side!
Nicole Jordan on 16 Jan 2008 at 7:54 pm #
This is just getting harder and harder with all the great choices! I’m so glad Kim will be helping me decide.
Y’all have plenty more time if you want to chime in with some more versions. We’re not cutting it off till midnight Central time tonight. And we’ll be posting our faves tomorrow morning after we put our heads together one last time.
NicoleJ
twolilhahas on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:28 pm #
Revenge is a dish best served with relish!
twolilhahas on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:30 pm #
Scratch my back and then rub my feet.
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:32 pm #
Silence is golden. Ask a man about his feelings and you’ll hit the mother lode!
If I can’t take it with me, I’m not going!
Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched or your Jimmy Choo’s before the credit card clears!
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise and in this day and age - imaginary!
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy and wealthy and frankly with those two going for him he can be as dumb as a box of rocks!
For the Regency ladies - Don’t count your dukes before they are leg-shackled!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:34 pm #
The best things in life are free AND have a guarantee!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:37 pm #
Beauty is only skin deep, but face it, ladies, if the skin is stretched over six pack abs and a tight butt, that’s all you need!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:38 pm #
All is fair in love and war and after Christmas sales!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:39 pm #
The female of the species is more deadly than the male AND she has girlfriends who will help her hide the body!
Lisa H on 16 Jan 2008 at 9:49 pm #
Hee Hee, doglady
Gannon on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:01 pm #
OMG, these are all hilarious! I don’t envy Kim and Nicole trying to pick a winner.
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, and he would do well to remember that the next time he leaves the seat up!
doglady on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:15 pm #
Love that last one, Gannon. Thanks, Lisa H!
Kelly Ann on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:51 pm #
A woman’s book wish list is never filled.
The best things in life begin with a Rake and a bottle of brandy.
Revenge served cold in this instance will come complimentary with a dollop pain.
The female of the species can be deadly when cornered by a male who wishes to nag her.
You goddesses are hysterical! Ladydawgfan you always make me laugh -thank you!
Judy on 16 Jan 2008 at 11:52 pm #
I feel like mine is redundant, these are good, my sides hurt!
Revenge is best served cold, preferably with a cherry on top
The best things in life are bite size
Early to bed, early to rise, of course that was before Edison invented the lightbulb
All is fair in love and war, especially when the odds are in my favor
The female species if more deadly than the male, that’s because we come in a pack
A woman’s work is never done, which is why I’d rather not start
Beauty is only skin deep, unless he’s tall, dark and handsome, then all bets are off
You can’t take it with you when you die, says who?
A penny for your thoughts…oh, wait, can I borrow a penny?
Kim on 17 Jan 2008 at 12:04 am #
No doubt, Gannon! These are all so great, Ladies. You’re doing a wonderful job.
TheNightPoet on 17 Jan 2008 at 12:17 am #
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, so why does my evil eye not have much power?
~Andrea
ladydawgfan on 17 Jan 2008 at 12:51 am #
Silence is golden. Sometimes it’s worth much more, depending on what you’ve done, who saw you do it, and who you want to keep it from . . .
Necessity is the mother of invention which is why I’m working on a riding vacuum cleaner . . .
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, particularly during “those” days of the month, so DON’T pi$$ us off, if you know what I mean!!!
The best things in life are free of complicated owners manuals, unwanted male interference, and cat hair, but not necessarily in that order.
If revenge is a dish best served cold, is it okay if I strap my ex to an iceburg??
Nicole Jordan on 17 Jan 2008 at 11:08 am #
So we have a winner!! It’s Doglady with her clever play on “Silence is Golden.”
But there were so many great ones, it made judging darn hard. Kim and I had a heck of a time trying to choose. So we gave honorable mentions to many of our other favorites.
Thank you, goddesses, for all the wonderful laughs!! And thank you, Handmaiden Kim, for baling me out of a sticky situation.
======================
Winner: Doglady: Silence is golden. Ask a man about his feelings and you’ll hit the mother lode!
======================
Honorable Mention (in alphabetical order):
Ellen: Beauty is skin deep…and it cost $85 dollars a jar at Neiman Marcus.
Freedom Writer: A woman’s work is never done, but time off to get a pedicure every once in a while doesn’t hurt.
Freedom Writer: If silence is golden then a little well placed duct tape can make you rich.
freshechelle: Silence is golden so shut the hell up.
Gannon:A woman’s work is never done, because she has to do the damn man’s work, too!
ilovetoread: Beauty is skin deep — but ugly is to the bone!!
Judy: A woman’s work is never done, which is why I’d rather not start
KariE: A woman’s work is done right the first time.
Keri Ford: You can’t take it with you when you die so leave it all to me!
LadyDawgFan: The female of the species is more deadly than the male, particularly during “those” days of the month, so DON’T pi$$ us off, if you know what I mean!!!
LadyDawgFan: If revenge is a dish best served cold, is it okay if I strap my ex to an iceburg??
Lisa H: A woman’s work is never done unless you have a maid and cook.
Mia Rose: Revenge is a dish best served ICE cold, for it hurts more when you throw it.
OV: A woman’s work is never done because someone went and invented the internet and blogs.
PJ: The female of the species is more deadly than the male. Just ask the man who took the last Reese’s peanut butter cup out of the candy bowl.
SnikWhite: Revenge is a dish best served on ice, shaken with a twist.
SuzyQ: Early to bed and early to rise, gets me Nicole’s new book first, from the store’s supplies.
Nicole Jordan on 17 Jan 2008 at 11:14 am #
So now, Doglady, I owe you a signed copy of TO PLEASURE A LADY!
I’ll e-mail you to get your snail mail addy so I can put your prize in the mail right away.
Congratulations! And thanks to everyone who particpated and made this such a fun contest!
NicoleJ
SuzyQ on 17 Jan 2008 at 11:35 am #
Congrats Doglady!!
And thank you for the honorable mention!
Freedom Writer on 17 Jan 2008 at 12:50 pm #
Congratulations Doglady!
And thanks for my honorable mentions.
Keri Ford on 17 Jan 2008 at 2:22 pm #
Thanks for the HM! Congrats, Doglady! You’re a lucky winner! Nicole is a wonderful stoyteller!
Kim on 17 Jan 2008 at 4:35 pm #
Thank YOU, Nicole! We had a great time with this. Y’all gave us a rough challenge. There were so many great entries! Champagne and strawberries for everybody!
Gannon on 17 Jan 2008 at 8:02 pm #
Congrats, Doglady! What a fun contest, Nicole.
ilovetoread on 17 Jan 2008 at 10:43 pm #
Congrats doglady and remember — you really must share a review and snippets, if possible, from the book with us!! (It’s called gloating with emphasis!!)