A Bill of Goods
Jan 14th 2008
Julia LondonWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
We’ve done the Goddess Bill of Rights – but what about the Goddess Bill of Goods?
Once, when I was young and green, I ordered a tape (I am sure it was a cassette tape but it might have been an eight track) of songs I enjoyed by “various artists.” When the music arrived, it was not the various artists singing their songs as I had imagined, but a second-rate group called The Various Artists. The Various Artists sold me a bill of goods (anyone know where that expression comes from?)
Recently, a friend told me she had ordered the Facial Flex from QVC. It’s supposed to tone the muscles in her face and erase nature’s way of letting the rest of the world know she’s getting older. In other words, it takes the sag from her face. I asked for a report, and she said that after several weeks of the Facial Flex, she still looks almost 50. Another bill of goods!
In the last year, I have bought three Oral toothbrushes that have the battery inside. They cost about $4. Once the battery runs out, they are disposable. Not one of the three I have bought has worked. Bill of goods? Or really rotten luck?
Last night, I was sold the cruelest bill of goods. The Dallas Cowboys are My Football Team. I have stuck with them for decades now through thick and thin–even when I lived in Washington, DC. Yes! Decades! But this year—this year—they said they were a contender. They began the season with impressive stats and promised me—promised me!!—that it was no fluke. But over the last few games, I began to see the backward slide I have seen from the Cowboys in so many seasons. And last night, they lost in the playoffs, and I realized I had been sold a bill of goods once again.
All I can say—and this hurts almost as bad as the loss—is….Go Packers.
Have you ever been sold a bill of goods? What’s the worst piece of crap you’ve ever purchased or acquired? If you’re a Giants fan, congratulations—game well played!
61 Comments »
61 Responses to “A Bill of Goods”
Lisa H on 14 Jan 2008 at 6:16 am #
I bought the Igia home electrolosis. It cost $130.00, but I figured I’d never have to tweeze my brows again. Well after using it exclusively for over one year, I found all my brows continued to grow back. What a waste of time and money!!!!
cail on 14 Jan 2008 at 8:13 am #
i recently ordered a splash shield for my kitchen aid that said it would fit my bowl. they lied.
Patty L. on 14 Jan 2008 at 8:25 am #
Julia I am in a deep depression today. I was taken in by the hype of my beloved Cowboys also. Unfortunately, I have watched the Cowboys on their downward slide for the last six weeks and was hoping for the best and got the worst.
cookeemama on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:03 am #
I’m with you and Patty L on the Cowboys/Giants game last night. I got all comfy with my knitting and my hot chocolate. Settled in to watch American’s team sweep the field with Giants. SOB!! I kept wanting Troy Aikman to rush down to the field and save the day.
Where are the Dandy Don Merideths and Roger Staubachs? And Tom Landry? How did he have the nerve to retire? I have been with the Cowboys since the first day they set foot on a field at the Cotton Bowl stadium in Dallas. I watched the Ice Bowl against Green Bay.
Oh well. I have a couple of weeks to recover. Even tho the Pack is my 2nd choice, I think the Pats will win the Super Bowl. They seem to be unstoppable this year.
I hope Tony’s happy with Jessica. I wonder if she was in a skybox yesterday?
cookeemama on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:08 am #
Sorry. I got carried away. I believe the topic was bill of goods. I’ve been sold so many of those in my lifetime I could paper a room with them. I no longer buy weight loss stuff or make-me-look-younger stuff. But I’m a sucker for cooking stuff and cookbooks. Not a one has made me a better cook. Or want to be.
Right now, I’m leaning toward the Magic Bullet. My DIL has one and loves it. My problem is that I would be required to make a trip to the store and actually purchase food in order to use the thing.
My favorite appliance is Eating Out.
Karen Hawkins on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:09 am #
Julia London wrote “Go Packers!”?????
Isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse?
Julia, as a fan of a team that has had some tough seasons in the last few years, I know what it feels like to lose too well to gloat. It’s tough swallowing a bad bill of rights when it’s something you’re emotional about and I’m emotional about my football.
As for other bad bills, I bought some under counter lights that were supposed to be ‘bright as day’ for those ‘dark corners and closets.’ They weren’t bright and they last only two hours per set of batteries. Totally crappy product.
doglady on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:12 am #
I am beginning to think Ms. Simpson is a “jonah”! I just knew the Cowboys were going to do it this year. I have not called Mom yet. It is best not to speak with her for a while after the Cowboys lose. Oh well, maybe next year. SIGH! I have had a couple of “bill of goods” purchases from catalogues. The pictures sometimes lie! Fortunately I am the type of person who only allows you to fool me once! Of course the worst “bill of goods” a woman can be sold is a man who is NOT as advertised! Anyone have any experience with that one?
SnikWhite on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:30 am #
There was the Dawn motorized scrubber that doesn’t actually remove anything, but it does give you a hand massage, though that wasn’t actually advertised.
And the worst one was that round brush that is battery powered and spins your hair while you blowdry. The only thing I can say positive about this product is that I am positive I will go bald sooner because of it. The spinning action is all well and good, but if you didn’t get out every single knot prior to use, it will get caught up on the brush, your hair will begin to wind around it before you can stop it, it will lock your hair into a death grip that requires scissors and someone else’s assitance to free yourself. I’d like to find the inventor of said product and make them use it…after a car ride in a convertible of course.
There were also the diet pills that didn’t help anything but clear my sinuses, and the powdered drinks that did nothing but make me hate milkshakes, oh and I also tried the battery toothbrushes.
Julie Hill on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:38 am #
As a Packer fan I would just like to ask: Do you think we could get Jessica together with Eli Manning? Just for Sunday’s game.
As for the bill of goods subject, I don’t buy too many wonder products, but one year for Christmas I received a machine that turned your favorite ice cream into soft serve. You could do the same thing with a spoon and a little elbow grease. And as a side note don’t ever use multi-colored ice cream in this machine the results is unappetizing.
Doglady: My first husband was not as advertised. He had an eye for younger ladies, which was sad considering we were both barely 21.
Claudia Dain on 14 Jan 2008 at 10:20 am #
I’ve bought CDs, the kind sold only on TV, and while I did get the CDs and like them, I also got this company hectoring me for months about other stuff I should buy. Those songs were not worth the hassle.
Julia and all you other Cowboy fans—sorry! Isn’t the standard line, “There’s always next year!” ??
Kim on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:00 am #
Battery operated toothbrushes–spend the money for a Sonicare. Seriously, these things are amazing. I love and adore mine. My sister in law loves hers so much she gave each one of her kids and their spouses one for Xmas. Well, worth the investment. And now they have that handy dandy sanitizer.
Disappointing products. The George Foreman rotisserie. Its a serious pain in the tush. It took 2 people an hour to load 2 lbs of hot dogs and then they didn’t taste roasted they tasted fried. UGH. Glad it was a gift and not my $$$.
Most of my “I want my money and time back!” moments come from movies. The Pursuit of Happyness. I waited forever for that movie and it was 150% let down. It was all about a man who made stupid choices. It wasn’t inspiring at all. Castaway. UGH. Tom Hanks is a great actor. Tom Hanks talking to a soccer ball for 10 hours is not entertainment. He is an actor not a stand up comedian.
My GE stand mixer. I need more power! *grunts ala Tim Allen*
Mia Rose on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:12 am #
Julia, Welcome To The Dark Green Side !!
We’ll make sure you have fun… provide you with wine and let you look at Brett Favre. (My FIL is SO mad at Dallas and esp. Tony ‘Homo’…)
Did anyone hear that New York Times or someone hired a Jessica Simpson look a like to sit 3 rows behind the Cowboys bench… PRICELESS!
Anyways, regarding some Bill of Goods…Since I tend to me such a sucker for infomercials and other sorts of advertising, I can recall at least a dozen.
I have purchased diet pills that did nothing but speed up my heart rate, I still manage to use the Bare Essentials make up even though it really doesn’t work as well as they say, the Flavor Injector that I bought a knife set to get, The Eggstractor that peels hard boild eggs works only if you’re stronger than I am, Firming Lotion that builds your tan and gets rid of cellulite…
I think you get the picture of how gullible I am.
dbrown3400 on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:37 am #
Go Giants! Although they should practice all week in a blizzard or they don’t stand a snowball’s prayer in hell of winning. I didn’t think they stood a chance of winning in Dallas either.
My worst purchase was a Kitchen Wizard. It worked well for the first few tomatoes and onions but then got dull and didn’t do anything except take up drawer space. Oh, well. I look at the shelves in the stores that say “As advertised on TV.” I guess I could take something I purchased there back if it didn’t work, although I’ve yet to see something I wanted.
I did buy some knives from a hawker at Wal-Mart that are great. Still sharp after several years.
Caren Crane on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:38 am #
Okay, so I’m not a football fan nor do I buy “gimmicky” items. However, others in my house *cough..dh..cough* are suckers for these items and purchase them with little discrimination. Some of his more eggregious:
George Foreman Rotisserie - Now, we LOVE the grill, but the rotisserie is a waste of time and money. And storage space!
Food Dehydrator - I think this takes lots of practice and patience. The dh has little patience and, therefore, did not practice more than a couple of times. Huge failure and waste of money and storage space!
Electric toothbrushes - Name one. He has owned them all. The fascination lasts about a month, then however great the product is he is back to a manual Oral B. *sigh*
Passive Abdomen Exerciser - I think he used it a couple of times. Next!
It’s all about persistence with most of these products. The dh has none. And I have no storage space left for further experiments!
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:53 am #
I had every intention of being as gracious a winner as you were being a loser - but then I saw the “Go Packers” and I can’t hold it in!!!
YYEEAAHH!! GIANTS!!
Was that INTERCEPTION - in the End Zone - on fourth down - in the final seconds of the game, not the most Beautiful thing you have seen in a long time????? The DH and I were on our feet - yelling our heads off - jumping up and down!!!! It was just - oh, the words fail me!
Okay I feel better now. Good Game!
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:57 am #
Back to the topic at hand - I just got some potato peeler thingie for christmas from a friend - after peeling everything in sight, it broke while being cleaned.
Back to peeling my potatoes by hand.
I have no luck with gizmos - I always pick the crappy ones.
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:59 am #
Julia, what is that thingy in the top picture? A finger exerciser??
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:01 pm #
Oh, nevermind - it must be that facial flex your writing about right next to it!
*Note to self - Pay attention to what your reading.*
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:07 pm #
Sorry I am late to the party. I went to jump off a cliff, but it was too crowded with Cowboy fans. Then I figured I’d hang myself from Treaty Oak, and alas, also crowded with cowboy fans.
Kitchen gadgets! Don’t get me started. I have several stored in cabinets that I NEVER use because I have to clean them. I have two of those veggie choppers that are supposed to dice them up for you. Years of life and finally a little wisdom has started to flow — its a lot easier to chop the veggies with a knife and clean the cutting board.
cail on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:20 pm #
you guys really are hooked on football.
i on the other hand have a little count down on my google home page with the number of days until pitchers and catchers report to spring training in Tampa for the Yanks…
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:32 pm #
Oh come on, CT — you don’t think I can actually bring myself to root for the Giants, do you??
Cail, we’ll be right there with you. My husband is a baseball fanatic.
I thought of another bill of goods: The ab-o-lounger. My mom got one. There is not a machine that can do the work for you, but she gave it her best.
Lisa H on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:32 pm #
I wasnt’ watching the games like many of you die hard fan ladies. Last night, I was waiting with great anticipation for the Golden Globes. You see my Johnny was up for best actor and his movie was also up for an award.
Well, what a riiiiiiiiiiip off! The Golden Globes were a 30 minute press conference. Instead of the camera longingly focusing on my Johnny several times throughout the night, I was treated to Mary Hart cracking jokes!
Talk about a disappointment. On the flip side, Johnny and Sweeny Todd both won (as they should have) and I am greatly looking forward to the Oscars this Spring.
Nicole Jordan on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:48 pm #
Actually I was rooting for Indianapolis since we had a good friends over who are from Indy *g*
As for bill of goods, I’ve been disappointed lots of times when items don’t match up to the catalogue descriptions, but I’ve tried to resist the stuff that claim to work miracles. I sure would have loved to have a bust improver that really worked, though!
Gannon on 14 Jan 2008 at 12:57 pm #
Julia, our house is also mourning the Cowboys loss. We’ll be cheering on the Packers–my hubby said he’d like Brett Favre to go to the Super Bowl this year. More importantly, he can’t stand Eli Manning!
Oh, the dreaded kitchen gadgets that are supposed to make life easier, but alas, they just create more clutter! Grrr!
RachelG on 14 Jan 2008 at 1:11 pm #
Thigh Master. I couldn’t keep it between my knees and it’d fly across the room.
Veggie chopper. Smashes veggies instead of chops
Dog Antlers. Fall off easily.
rachelg
Aemelia on 14 Jan 2008 at 1:12 pm #
*chanting* GO PACK GO! GO PACK GO!…
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 1:22 pm #
There is a news segment here every Wednesday: Does it Work Wednesday, they call it. A local reporter takes all these gadgets to experts and they try it. The results are amazing. Most of the time they don’t work! My favorite one recently was the Hair Extender. You’re supposed to wear it at night and your hair will grow an inch in one week. It looked like some ancient hairdryer and the results? Not even a fraction of an inch!
Sorry about the dog antlers, Rachel. Lucky for you there are so many other costumes to choose from
Ronlyn on 14 Jan 2008 at 1:27 pm #
Sticking with the football theme: my Seahawks defense sucked it up Saturday. so sad. They were a def. bill of goods this week.
Many a kitchen gadgets have also found my way to my kitchen…only to find their way right back out again. Countless choppers that just sort of dented the veggies. that type of thing.
catslady on 14 Jan 2008 at 1:37 pm #
My Steelers lost their wild card game (2 truly bad calls IMO) so other than not wanting New England to win, I just enjoy good football. The worst thing I ever got conned into was over 15 years ago but I spent like $150 or more on this reading program (something like hooked on phonics but not) to help my youngest child who just wasn’t clicking very quickly on learning to read. You got all these tapes and a game to play that was suppose to be fun - HAH, it was pure torture so obviously we didn’t use it more than a few times.
Claudia Dain on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:04 pm #
My older son is a food dehydrator junkie. It was all he wanted for Christmas and it’s what he got. He was in bliss from the moment he opened the wrapping. He dehydrates meat and fruit. He’s brings his latest dehydrating experiments to work, where he offers it up. Most people gently refuse, he presses, they try it…and clean him out. He now has guys paying for the food while he provides the dehydrating service. I’m sensing a business opportunity here!
Santa on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:23 pm #
I got sold a bill of goods when I bought my pasta machine. Make pasta the easy way, indeed! It’s easier to make a well in the middle of a mountain of flour, work in the beaten eggs in with a fork, knead and roll out pasta then to set up and get this baby crankin’!! Hours later you have enough pasta to feed a gnat!
As to the Giants/Cowboys game, I can only offer my sincerest condolances to Cowboy fans everywhere!
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:23 pm #
So what sort of person would actually need their food to be dehydrated, Claudia? I’m very serious — I don’t know why anyone would do it.
zambonigirl on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:30 pm #
Oooh…homemade beef jerky! One of my friends does that, but her husband usually gets to it before she can offer me any. I’m jealous, Claudia! It must be nice to have him in your family!
Sabrina Jeffries on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:32 pm #
Karen, I bought those crappy lights, too! Complete waste of money.
The problem with those gadgets is once in a while they DO actually work and it tempts you to buy the ones that don’t.
Some that I love:
Flow-bee (well, *I* don’t use it, but my husband does, and he loves it–he also goes to a barber, though, so it’s not like it saves him tons of money)
Those extender things that allow you to reach on top shelves. I bought two, and I use them both. I’m short. My husband is short. We have trouble reaching things, since our cabinets are really high.
Those electric Oral B’s are actually great for my son. Yes, they crap out after one cycle sometimes, but for an autistic man who hates brushing his teeth, they’re great.
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:35 pm #
Julia, your sense of humor and wit are just amazing!
A cliff crowded with cowboy fans - Indeed!
Hangings at Treaty Oak - OMG! LMAO!
Of course, I don’t expect you to root for the GIANTS anymore that I would root for the cowboys (We are Loyal Fans, after all!) - I just needed an excuse to Gloat just a little.
Wait, what’s that I hear? There’s an extremely large woman singing “The Cowboy rides away”on my front porch!
Sabrina Jeffries on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:36 pm #
Ones that we hated:
That electric scrubber thing–it’s just not high-powered enough. My husband showers forever, and goes through soap like you wouldn’t believe, so the soap scum build-up is much too intense for one of those. Which is why I now have a maid service. *G*
Any mop they tout. All but the most basic ones seem to break quickly.
——
Oh, and in the above thing, I forgot to mention that I still sleep on my Sobakawa pillow. I prefer it to any other pillow. Who knew?
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 2:44 pm #
hahaha ct — talk about wit! I can hear the fat lady singing from your porch all the way down here!
Gannon, PattyL and doglady…thanks for being here on this awful day. :-(.
Ah hell, its just a game. I’m over it!
Sabrina, what is a Sobakawa pillow??
Kim on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:00 pm #
Oh, the biggest Bill of Goods of them all? Food commericals. Has anyone actually ever gotten a fast food burger where they can see the meat out of the but? That has red, ripe tomatoes and green lettuce? I think not! If the whopper actually looked like the picture I’d eat them every day.
Karen Rose on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:07 pm #
Kim, I don’t think I want to see the meat out of the but. Ew.
KariE on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:20 pm #
LOL Kim. But.
SnikWhite on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:35 pm #
LOL Isn’t that supposed to have 2 t’s?? LOL But. I will never look at a whopper the same again.
Karen Hawkins on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:43 pm #
I’m gone three lousy hours and come back to this . . . people bating poor Karen Rose to talk about meat from a cow’s butt. Or ‘but,’ if you’re saving your ‘t’s.
People, people! She’s under deadline! Have MERCY!
And yeah, Sabrina, what is this magical pillow that you swear by? It’s not some early version of the ‘Liberator,’ is it?
Karen Rose on 14 Jan 2008 at 3:55 pm #
I DIDN”T SAY BUT - KIM DID.
Sheesh.
Bye yall, crawling back to my hole, wearing tab stained tee. Really.
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 4:20 pm #
I got the impression Kim meant to say “bun” -
“Has anyone actually ever gotten a fast food burger where they can see the meat out of the bun?”
ct009ct on 14 Jan 2008 at 4:25 pm #
I’m with Julia and Karen on the pillow question, Sabrina.
What is it? Where can I get one? Is it really magic? Will it stop my neck pain?
Claudia Dain on 14 Jan 2008 at 4:46 pm #
Just back in–the dehydrator question: you take meat, mix in tasty spices (loads of pre-mixed options on that–teriyaki is a fav of mine), put into the dehydrator, listen to obnoxious noise (like a vacuum running far, far away) for hour after hour, get beef jerky. Pounds of beef jerky.
Dried oranges and apples are a huge fav with the guys as well. What happens after dehydrating is that the fruit–no longer fragile and spoilable–now tastes even sweeter. This explains a lot, doesn’t it? *G*
Lisa H on 14 Jan 2008 at 5:17 pm #
lots of “meat” talk going on today….
Julia London on 14 Jan 2008 at 5:25 pm #
No, no, Claudia, it does explain a lot. I get it now. I was picturing stuff like chicken nuggets or mashed potatoes. I get it now. Der. I continually prove how inept I am around the kitchen. I can eat with the best of them — just don’t ask me where anything comes from.
cail on 14 Jan 2008 at 6:21 pm #
i think i want a dehydrator… but it might end up near my pasta attachments for my kitchenaid…
Kim on 14 Jan 2008 at 6:27 pm #
Seriously who would have thought the one typo I ever make would stir this up. LOL. That was supposed to be buN! The bun, the bun. OMG.
Did someone say liberator? I’ve heard great things about those.
Claudia–I love dried fruits. Is it easy to use the dehydrator?
Karen Rose on 14 Jan 2008 at 7:02 pm #
Julia, I don’t know where many foods come from either.
However, in the case of many egg products, it does come from the but(t) not the bun.
What I want to know is, who was the first person to ever consider eating an egg. I mean, like, ew.
Hi Kim
Kim on 14 Jan 2008 at 7:04 pm #
Hi Karen:D Don’t you have a book to finish?
Good point on the egg. Somebody musta been hungry.
Claudia Dain on 14 Jan 2008 at 7:36 pm #
Everything I know about the dehydrator I learned from my son!
First, the size–the thing is huge, the size of two breadboxes, stacked on top of each other. The more expensive models hold more stuff and are quieter, worth the price, believe me. You really get so you (okay, me) can’t stand the sound of a machine running and running and running.
The machine part is at the top. The rest of the dehydrator is made up of layers, slotted, open, almost like a colander. You put the meat or fruit on the layers, laying it out like cookie dough, stack ‘em up and turn it on. Very, very easy.
Fruit: you cut it into slices for oranges or quarters for apples and turn it on.
Meat: you have to mix in the flavorful spices, put the meat mixture in a applicator like an old-fashioned cookie-thingy and squeeze it onto the slotted layers. Slightly time consuming, but mindless. You can choose either flat or round, which doesn’t affect flavor but does affect how easy it is to bite into once dried.
Sabrina Jeffries on 14 Jan 2008 at 8:59 pm #
I KNOW y’all saw the ads for the Sobakawa pillow years ago. It’s the one that is filled with buckwheat husks. I like it because you can shape it and it stays. Also, it holds my head up very well. Most of my family think I’m crazy for liking it, but I try not to travel without it.
Believe it or not, they have them on Amazon and at Target now, but years ago, they sold them on TV.
Eli's Ellen on 14 Jan 2008 at 9:49 pm #
Sheeesh…one day on the road and I come back to suicidal Cowboys and
but(t) meat. Go figure.
OK Karen H…Giants vs. Da Pack. We’re on!
KariE on 14 Jan 2008 at 10:04 pm #
Haha Ellen said but too!! lol
doglady on 14 Jan 2008 at 10:57 pm #
Finally got up the courage to call my Mom and commiserate on our loss. It was not pretty. I managed to make out the words “Cowboys” “barbed wire up the butt” Several unflattering things about Jessica “Unlucky Heifer” Simpson” and something about a trip to Dallas to five somebody an old lady ass whoopin. Needless to say, when my brothers called to ask if it was safe to call her I told them “Of course. No problem.” I DO love getting them in trouble, even after all these years. Uhm … butt meat, buckwheat husk pillows, and suicidal Cowboys. Yup another normal day on Mt. Olympus!
ilovetoread on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:34 pm #
I’m so happy to say that we have become sisters in the bill of goods - Junk category. I believe that we have all been equally guilty in this and maybe we’ll all become a little smarter about it!!
CAIL — We ARE sisters in the love of baseball, particularly Yanks!! Isn’t that Derek Jeter just the cutest thing in baseball pants!! My son has a ton of posters of him in his room (he plays HS baseball). I find these for him, cause *someone* has to help hang then and continually look at them to make sure they are still hanging straight! *giggle, giggle*
Georgie Lee on 15 Jan 2008 at 12:03 am #
My dud purchase was the Scunci steam cleaner. All it does is heat water. It doesn’t clean anything. Luckily, I was able to take it back.
Julia London on 15 Jan 2008 at 10:02 am #
doglady, my condolences to your mother.
Georgie Lee, I am so glad you posted that — I’ve been wanting to get one!!! Now I know to stick to the elbow grease.
cookeemama on 15 Jan 2008 at 11:41 am #
I just read all the comments from yesterday on bill of goods. Leaving my poor Cowboys and their suicidal fans out.
Nobody wrote about this. Makes me wonder if nobody or their DH has tried it or not. Or will admit to it. Maybe you are alll just blushing young virgins who don’t talk about this sort of stuff. Yeah, right!
I’m talking about the product that “makes a man larger”. The sales guy never say where the man is made larger. Not in the brain and certainly not in the wallet. Inquiring minds want to know what this device looks like. Does it hurt? How much bigger?
Oh well. I don’t have a guinea pig around to try one on. So, I’ll just have to keep wondering.