If You Were a Tree…
Jan 12th 2008
Claudia DainGoddess Grins
Barbara Walters once asked Katherine Hepburn, “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?”
Katherine Hepburn answered, “I suppose an oak. Wouldn’t everyone want to be thought of as an oak?”
I’ve never forgotten that question or Kate’s answer because I would not want to be an oak! I would be…well, let’s take this one step at a time.
Below are a few questions for every goddess out there. I’ve complied a tiny questionnarie for all visitors and residents of Mount Olympus. There are no right or wrong answers, but the world will know you in an extremely intimate and revealing way once you’re finished. So let’s all relax and enjoy it, shall we?
I’ll start since I’ve been dying to tell the world what kind of tree I’d be for twenty years or more now.
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Pistol. And did so. Often.
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
I would be a sycamore (my chance, at last!) because a sycamore looks like any other tree until it matures, and then it looks spectacular. That’s symbolism I can get behind.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
The. Think about it.
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Ox. Again, think about it.
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
Mom and Dad.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
This is brutally tough, but today I’ll go with George Washington.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
This too shall pass.—Old Testament (My mother quoted this often in referrence to me.)
8. What in the world do you least desire?
An expensive car.
52 Comments »
52 Responses to “If You Were a Tree…”
doglady on 12 Jan 2008 at 9:57 am #
1) Bookworm. Ditto on the often!
2) Claudia I LOVE your logic on the sycamore. Fantastic. I think I would like to be a Cypress tree for some of the same reasons. The longer they live the more interesting their shapes become. It gives them character, tells something of the seasons they have seen.
3) THINK!
4) Wolf. They mate for life. And they are smart enough to let the females run the family!
5) My Dad, absolutely.
6) Beethoven. He refused to live in the subservient box musicians were forced to live in before him. He lived life on his terms and damn the consequences and he triumphed over almost everything life threw at him.
7) “We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men are created equal. That they are endowed with certain inalienable rights. That among these are - Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” I think we need to remember is that we have the right to PURSUE happiness. That means we have to get up off our butts and go after it. Nobody owes us happiness
doglady on 12 Jan 2008 at 9:58 am #
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:12 am #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Cinderella
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
I would be a Blossoming Cherry Tree. Everyone should feel pretty sometimes.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
Alas. It always signals a twist from the desired. I love a good twist.
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
A big dog. Must be big.
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
I miss building forts with my brothers to protect ourselves from imaginary invasion.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Jesus Christ. If time travel were an option, I would like to know JC the man. I already know him as a savior.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
“The first draft of anything is shit. E Hemmingway
8. What in the world do you least desire?
A live in maid or butler.
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:14 am #
ooops I mean Hemingway
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:15 am #
By the way, Claudia. I hope you noticed I answered honestly without a drop of snarky. I’m dying to know what my answers reveal about me. LOL
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:23 am #
Well, Ellen, since you asked…*G*…I think being a cherry tree in blossom is perfect.
There just can’t be a more girly, pretty tree. And I’m with you on the live-in help. I couldn’t stand the lack of privacy.
Doglady, I was half way to saying wolf…
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:25 am #
Ditto on the big dogs, too. Before we had our gigantic German Shepherd, we had a Newfoundland. There’s something so calming and comforting about a big dog!
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:34 am #
Doglady, when you retire from Walmart, we’ll all celebrate!
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:40 am #
I was just looking at a Newfie webpage yesterday. I grew up with German Shepherds, but I just love the droopy little eyes on those Newfoundland. They are truly gentle giants.
I’ve yet to meet a single Goddess I didn’t have something in common with.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:54 am #
Oh, Ellen, Newfies are amazing dogs. We loved ours devotedly. The only “problem” with Newfies is that they have a serious addiction to children. Ours would escape almost daily in his search for a small child to nuzzle and protect. He preferred them under the age of 5, but he’d take whatever he could get!
Also, I live in a hot climate and I literally felt like an abusive parent to have a dog bred for cold living here. He truly suffered in the heat.
Julia London on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:07 am #
Okay here goes:
1. perceptive. She always told me–and still does–that I am very tuned into people’s emotions.
2. weeping willow — so elegant for a tree!
3. F*&k (sometimes it is just THE perfect word)
4. yep, have to go with big dog
5. Living on that stupid ranch I could not WAIT to leave. now its gone and I pine for it.
6. Jane Austen
7. We know these truths to be self-evident. (don’t know why)
8. To travel to Asia.
Keri Ford on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:20 am #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Go-getter.
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
A peach tree…more specifically, MY peach tree. I got him when he was a year old and planted him next to my house. Shortly later, a bird or strong winds or something snapped the top half (not off, just broke ¾ way through.) It survived a year with a bread tie holding it together and for the next year, it survived with a rope holding it together (which is it’s fate this winter). And every summer, that poor peach tree is covered in leaves from literally the base to the top tip and it even flowers. I tell you, that tree is a survivor and is why I would be that tree.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
Hmm. (and yes, that’s my answer, I think, hmmm)
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Any breed of a trained police dogs—they’ll obey everything you ask.
see next….
Keri Ford on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:21 am #
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
Long summer days when we used to ride our horses in the pond until the water was over their backs. They’d relax, and we’d swim
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Don’t know his name, but the guy who invented the toilet and plumbing as we know it today. Along with several others who made life easier by the little things.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass. (by I have no idea)
8. What in the world do you least desire?
Having to put my boy in a daycare and go back to work.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:22 am #
Julia, we can both not travel to Asia together.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:26 am #
Seriously, I had such a tough time choosing just one historical figure. Ask me tomorrow and I’d have a different choice. In fact, I could come up with five alternates right now! Did anyone else experience this or is this a problem exclusive to writers of historical fiction?
SuzyQ on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:37 am #
1. Unique - my mom always told me “When God made you he broke the mold”. And Claudia, my aunt always called me pistol, so I had to chuckle on that one.
2. Japanese cherry tree. I love how they look in bloom and you get to be a little fruity sometimes.
3. Smile
4. I’d have to say a dog. A mate and a best friend.
5. No stress just lots of playtime
6. Ben Franklin
7. “As long as you live under my roof . . .” my mother
8. To not have my health
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:41 am #
SuzyQ, LOL on your quote. My mother never said it to me, but I find myself saying it to my kids! Uh-oh. Maybe that’s why they moved out?
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:43 am #
Keri, I’ve never heard that quote before! Oooh, I learned a new quote today. It sounds Texan. Maybe Tennessee? Arkansas?
cail on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:10 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Speedy Gonzales
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
corkscrew willow
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
iPod. more the item than the actual word..
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
mustang
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
not working
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Grace O’Malley
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
the beginning of a quote i found about pirates when i did a paper on modern pirates in HS. i can’t remember the whole thing, and can’t find it but it goes something like this “not all men seek rest and peace, some are born with the spirit of the sea in their blood and the wind in their sails. restless harbingers of [something something something] i can’t remember it, sadly. i think i have it at my parents house somewhere…
8. What in the world do you least desire?
to be sad
Keri Ford on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:11 pm #
Claudia, I’m from Arkansas, but I have no idea where that saying came from. And yeah, I had a HARD time with a historical figure. I’d think of somebody, then of somebody else, and then I couldnt’ think of anybody.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:24 pm #
Cail, isn’t it sad when favorite quotes disappear from your memory word by word? This happens to me all the time. I’m sure there must be an internet site that is nothing but quotes. You might find it there.
And I love corkscrew willows! I wish they weren’t so delicate. My neighbor had one in the front yard and I’d admire it every time I drove by. And then it just died. It broke my heart. It must have broken the neighbor’s too because they never replanted. A loss for the whole neighborhood.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:25 pm #
Keri, that quote just has to be from Arkansas, don’t you think? It has such a fun vibe, so much color! I just love the differences in regional dialect and sayings. I’m a language freak, the origin of words and languages being one of my favorite subjects.
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:35 pm #
Keri and Claudia…I think it came from the Appalachian region of our country. My father’s version was “Yeah…and if a frog had wings he wouldn’t have callus on his ass.”
Lisa H on 12 Jan 2008 at 12:45 pm #
1. Is “Good Girl” one word?
2. Hydrangea - they are beautiful when in full bloom and even when the blooms die, they are still useful as dried flowers. They come in many colors and they are a classic elegance.
3. Orgasm — I’m just being honest
4. Stallion -mmmhmmm
5. I miss my Grandma. She died when I was 13, and she was only 57. She was the most wonderful woman in the world. Beautiful inside, and looked like a young Elizabeth Taylor on the outside. She was fun, funny, kind, loving and feminine. There was only one of her.
6. I would also go with Jesus. I wish I could have seen him, talked to him, washed his feet with my tears.
7. This is a hard one. I really like “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” in Proverbs. Also I love, “I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.” Robert Frost
8. I have no desire to ever, ever, ever go camping!
Analyze me Claudia!
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:02 pm #
I forgot about ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, Marilyn Monroe, Jackie O, Lee Harvey Oswald, Coco Chanel, Queen Elizabeth, William the First, ….WILLIAM WALLACE
Keri Ford on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:07 pm #
Claudia, I keep a small document of these saying’s for a secondary character I write and thought I’d share with you my favorite, but not as well known:
“It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.”
“It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.”
“Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.”
And this one I can tell you came from Arkansas, because I wrote it for that same character: “They’ll be pokin’ in your business more’na finger in the dough boy.”
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:07 pm #
“One could do worse than be a swinger of the birches.” R Frost
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:14 pm #
My father has a million of those ole sayings: Wonder, if way back, his family came from Arkansas… (I cleaned them up a bit)
“Busier than a one armed paper hanger with an inch.”
“More nervous than a long tailed cat on a porch full of rocking chairs”
“Faster than poo through a goose”
“Uglier than the shaved arse of a baboon taught to walk backwards”
FreshEChelle on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:18 pm #
Interesting topic.
1) Mom would call me “successful”. She’s rarely says she is proud of my sister and me achieving more than she expected of herself (that’s not saying much about my brother), so it’s means a lot when she says it.
Living in a warm weather/tropical climate. Humidity doesn’t flatter me.
2) Willow tree, bending but never breaking.
3)concussed - just sounds like “newspeak”
4) I get your ox thing on a few levels. I’ll go with that.
5) I didn’t like being dependent on my parents and their permission to do stuff, so I honestly don’t miss much about childhood. Well, maybe I miss being so skinny that people thought I didn’t eat.
6) It’s between Eleanor of Aquitaine and Edith Wharton.
7) It’s all fun and games till someone loses an eye.
Ellen on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:18 pm #
Lisa H… A good girl who likes stallions and orgasms??? That’s easy. You must be Catholic. LOL (me too)
Lisa H on 12 Jan 2008 at 1:25 pm #
Ellen - I used to be Catholic, but perhaps its more inbreded than I thought!
Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like orgasms? LOL
ilovetoread on 12 Jan 2008 at 2:27 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
She often told people that I was sneaky caused I tried to sneak a doll to school to give to someone that she otherwise wouldn’t have let me. (She still tells people that I was a sneaky kid.) I thought I was trying to make someone happier.
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
Olive Tree, The Wisdom
Loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
Uh-Oh…If royalties were paid on words heard, I’d be wealthier than Bill Gates could ever think about.
4. 4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
I guess rhino, they mate for live and are very protective of their own.
ilovetoread on 12 Jan 2008 at 2:36 pm #
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
My paternal grandfather.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Thomas Jefferson…”I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House - with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.” by John F. Kennedy on occasion of State dinner featuring not only Heads of State from other countries, but also Nobel Prize winners, inventors, etc.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
** “Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.” And “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” both from John Wayne
8. What in the world do you least desire?
A bigger house.
**This quote was hanging on the office wall of an Asst. Principal who was gunned down by a student.
Kim on 12 Jan 2008 at 2:46 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
hmm, honestly I don’t know. Bothersome, maybe?
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
A magnolia tree.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
Well, Julia stole mine. Thanks a lot! Second choice, nummy. Its just fun to say.
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
A big ole gorilla. Just picture it. Hammering on his chest, hauling you off to his tree.
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
School.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Marie Antoinette.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
I’ll only ever want just a little more than what I’ll ever have.
8. What in the world do you least desire?
To feel guilt and responsibility for everyone and everything. Seriously I carry the guilt of a catholic woman and I’m not even catholic!
Lisa H on 12 Jan 2008 at 2:57 pm #
Kim Kim Kim…don’t feel guilty…check out the word I wish I invented…go in that direction instead! LOL
Kim, you can always go back to school. My husband is 42 and still persuing his degree…you can always go back if you enjoy it!
I too am a fan of the Magnolia tree…so delicate and beautiful.
Aspen on 12 Jan 2008 at 3:02 pm #
1. Spoiled
2. An Aspen Tree of course. They truly are beautiful trees. Their leaves chandge colors (gollden in the fall) its like they rain down golden coins. Who says money doesn’t grow on trees.
3. giddy say it and you will feelm it too.
4. I have a bit of a crush on Dolphins now. Ever since they helped rescue that surfer being attacked by a shark. They know how to dance, are highly intelligent and are protective what more can a girl ask?
5. My childhood home. It was EXCELLENT for Hide and go seek. I would crawl into the laundry shoot and stay safely hidden between floors. Doubt I could fit in there now.
6. The hoties of time past. men were MEN.
7. “A man of good fortune must be in want of a wife” Mrs Benett from P&P. Mostly because I wish it to be true.
8. A tennis raquet
Karen Rose on 12 Jan 2008 at 4:45 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word? Quiet. (I’m serious.)
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be? Redwood.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented? Happy.
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Fox. Pretty, wily, and well… foxy. Okay?
5) What do you miss about your childhood? The smell of bread baking on a cold day.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure? Today, Harry Truman. Winston Churchill is right up there, and GWash is a good choice too.
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
“It’s only a flesh wound. I’ve had worse.” (Monty Python) also “I thought it was a costume ball” (from Start the Revolution Without Me)
8. What in the world do you least desire? Cancer. (Sorry, it’s the first thing that came to my mind.)
Karen Rose on 12 Jan 2008 at 4:47 pm #
Kim, what does “nummy” mean?
Kim on 12 Jan 2008 at 5:27 pm #
Karen–you know, like yummy but a lot. Is that an Indiana word? Or maybe just a Kim’s grandma’s word. LOL Like botchy. Don’t put that in your mouth, its botchy. Those cookies are just nummy!
Lisa–Thanks! You know, I think about it a lot. Just too few hours in a day right now.
Marie Conley on 12 Jan 2008 at 6:22 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Obstinate and also did so often
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
A weeping willow.
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
smitten
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Bull, temperamental and stubborn
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
Long walks down the train tracks
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
William Penn
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
8. What in the world do you least desire?
More time alone.
Kasey on 12 Jan 2008 at 8:48 pm #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
Bookworm - definately. My mom always was annoyed with me becasue everything was always, “after I finish this chapter,” or one more chapter.”
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
Oak
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
Kiss
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Tiger.
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
Summer Break.
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Jane Austen
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get. - Forest Gump
8. What in the world do you least desire?
Bills.
Claudia Dain on 12 Jan 2008 at 9:08 pm #
This has been amazing fun! I think my favorite question is the quotes. So many lovely things said by so many.
My other pick for a quote is: “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”—Mae West. How very true!
I also love the tree question. Aspens, yes it would be lovely to be an aspen. Redwood, oh yeah, so you can live almost forever. *G*
I’m going to have to agree that the thing I really and truly would least desire is BILLS. Just imagine a week, a year, a decade without bills. Wow. It boggles the mind!
Sabrina Jeffries on 12 Jan 2008 at 9:58 pm #
Kim, I have a friend who says nummy. I thought she made it up. She’s from Alabama. Where are you from?
Oh, and my list:
1) Rebel
2) No fair, Kim, I wanted Magnolia! Or maybe a spruce, the kind that could be a Christmas tree. I’d love to be adorned in lights and sparkly things!
3) Supercalifragilisticexpialidoceous. I just think it’s cool.
4) panther. I just love all the big cats. And I always think of Bagheera in Jungle Book. Very sexy.
5) Traveling to exotic places
6) Queen Elizabeth. That woman was just amazing. Or Catherine the Great.
7) “All that you have is your soul.” Tracy Chapman; or “You’ve got to take the bitter with the sweet.” Carole King. Or “All you need is love.” The Beatles Yes, for some reason the only lines I remember in their entirety are from songs. It has to do with the music, I guess. Or my FAVORITE: “I want everything,” Barbra Streisand
8. See above.
Kim on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:31 pm #
Sabrina-I’m from Indiana. hmm, is your friend Mennonite or Amish? It could be a dutch-ish word. And I’ll share magnolia with you!
RachelG on 12 Jan 2008 at 10:50 pm #
At the moment my favorite quote is:
“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.” –Christopher Hampton
Cyndi on 12 Jan 2008 at 11:32 pm #
1. Mouth–so many reasons why…not the least of which is I talk a lot.
2. Red Maple–just love the way their leaves turn in the fall
3. peace
4. Big Dog
5. I miss beleiving that I could do/be anything I wanted to be(easily). Also ENDLESS summers.
6. The Virgin Mary–she must have been a strong woman to withstand being ostrasized for being an unwed mother, not to mention she had to be pretty special for G– to choose her.
7. “If a man constantly aspires, is he not elevated?” H. D. Thoreau. Just have always loved it. It makes me think.
8. Perms! Never had one–never will. Saw too any BAD ones in the 80’s!
ladydawgfan on 13 Jan 2008 at 1:57 am #
1. Smartmouth - we gently tease each other back and forth with little zingers.
2. Magnolia - so pretty and flowery and sweet smelling - very girly like me.
3. Sh*t - It’s a verb, it’s a noun, it’s an expression of frustration!! Sometimes it’s just the only appropriate word to use!!
4. A lion - mates for life, willing to fight to the death to protect his mate.
5. Long summers, no bills, no worries, just time to play and read.
6. Queen Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, Bernadette Soubirous.
7. “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body…but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, WOW! What a ride!” ~~Unknown.
8. To see ads for Erectile Disfunction, bladder leakage, and a host of other embarrassing personal problems that shouldn’t be discussed in polite company flashed across my television screen.
Karen Hawkins on 13 Jan 2008 at 3:38 am #
What a great questionnaire! I’m learning all sorts of things about ya’ll@
My fave question is which word do you wish you’d invented. You’ve all got some doozies there from ‘orgasm’ to ‘nummy.’ Love it!
1. Tough one. Ah . . . I think ‘creative’.
2. Sugar maple. Like me with my shoes, they like to dress up in the fall.
3. Smile.
4. Big dog. Loyal but knows how to play and fun to hug.
5. Snow Days. I used to loooove Snow Days.
6. Aspasia.
7. “Get a job, sir!” from The Big Lebowski Watched it (again) last week and me and the DH have been saying this to one another every chance we can.
8. Complications.
Dot C on 13 Jan 2008 at 9:11 am #
1) How would your mother describe you in one word?
heartattack
2) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
Pine Tree - evergreen, fragrant, and the bigger the better
3) What word in the English language do you wish you’d invented?
ginormous
4) What animal best describes the kind of guy you’d be interested in?
Wolf - I like that I could get an alpha male and still be in charge.
5) What do you miss about your childhood?
having a healthy mom - body and mind
6) Who is your favorite historical figure?
Mary, Queen of Scots
7) What is the first quote that comes to your mind?
Cuz I’m grown and I can!
8. What in the world do you least desire?
a ‘nice’ predictable mate
Karen Rose on 13 Jan 2008 at 11:38 am #
Claudia - I picked redwood just because I want to be tall… Living forever never occurred to me. I’m not sure I’d like that.
I read Tuck Everlasting after all.
tal on 13 Jan 2008 at 9:46 pm #
My favorite quote is “Common sense, ain’t that common”
Mark Twain
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