Weird News Time Again
Jan 8th 2008
RachelGOn Writing!
I think I’ve mentioned before that I love news of the weird. I read it a lot and here’s the latest to catch my attention:
A research team led by Richard Hanson of Case Western Reserve University (Cleveland) has produced a colony of “supermice” whose physical abilities are the rodent equivalent of those of gifted humans. By modifying a single metabolism gene, researchers enhanced the mouse’s ability to use body fat for energy, creating a mouse that can run five hours without stopping, live longer, and have three times as much sex as ordinary mice. According to Hanson, humans have exactly the same modifiable gene, “(b)ut this is not something that you’d do to a human. It’s completely wrong.”
Why? Why is it wrong? I want a super fat burning metabolism. I doubt I’d run five miles–with or without stopping- or have three times as much sex, but I’d like the option. I want to live longer too. And while I’m at it, I want super-human hearing and sight. I’d like super-duper strength so that I can open pickle jars with a single twist.
But maybe I’m just greedy. If I had to pick only one ability, I 
think I’d have to pick super-human hearing so I could eavesdrop without appearing obvious.
If you could be a super human, would you? What super human ability would you choose and why? And is there an ability that I haven’t mentioned that you’d like to have?
55 Comments »
55 Responses to “Weird News Time Again”
Dot C on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:17 am #
OMG, I want my MR modified, and not so he can run 5 miles, either! I would love to be modified, and I have no qualms about saying that it would be so that my body would burn fat for energy instead of being a super storage machine. I very good at storing things. Excellent, in fact. I think we should pickett, and start a nationwide movement to let this be an individual decision to do or not to do. Of course, perhaps they haven’t concluded the research. What if this modification has horrible side effects. Like superfast aging. Or having such sensitive hearing, you can hear every sound all at once. That’s going to border on Mental Illness, if I really think about it..all those voices and such.
So much fuss for losing weight and a decent sex life…..
Dot C on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:21 am #
If I could have one superpower, it would be to heal anything in anybody just by touching them.
pri.r. on 08 Jan 2008 at 2:29 am #
oohh i think we’ve had a similar topic like this before,hmmm..but if i had a choice it’d either be to fly, flying would be so handy..
Karen Rose on 08 Jan 2008 at 5:12 am #
Fat burning, no question. I’m selfish.
Meat Vision wouldn’t be so bad either - for those of you Fairly Oddparents fans out there.
Barbara Vey on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:18 am #
I’d love to be invisible. Oh, the places I’d go!
Kim on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:38 am #
I want that super metabolism! Ohh to be able to eat a slice of pie without gaining 10lbs.
If I got to pick any superpower, I want Piper’s (from Charmed) power. To be able to freeze time and blow people up. Definitely that’s what I want.
Kim on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:39 am #
RachelG–if its news of the weird you want just goggle Britney Spears. LOL Does it get any weirder than that? Noooo
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:46 am #
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies…
I’m sure if you think about it, you already have many of the superhuman skills needed to warrant a really cool costume with a cape.
For Instance:
Super Sniff Out: The ability, under pressure, to locate your son’s smelly sneakers, even though they are well camouflaged under a pile of dirty gym clothes.
Super Screech: The ability, while doing laundry, to find something alive in your son’s pocket and still maintain consciousness.
Super Sanitizer: The ability, while donning your trusty rubber gloves, to sanities and disinfect any bathroom that your son has used in the past decade, without too much damage to the ozone layer.
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:48 am #
LOL….I like the typo sanities. Obviously meant sanitize.
cail on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:05 am #
i’d sign up for the super metabolism so long as it also kept me from being constantly hungry. My current fast metabolism simply makes me eat more often thus negating any positive effect it would have.
i’d take mind-reading i think. or the ability to fly.
KariE on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:18 am #
I think I would take all 3 Charmed ones powers.
#1-I could move things with my mind. For instance, if I thought about my dh finishing the remodeling from March, he would. Or, if I thought about my dh rubbing my feet after a long day of doing nothing, he would.
#2-I could, like Kim said, freeze time and blow up people. For instance, if I should happen to get a head ache and couldn’t excercise my #1 ability, I could blow stuff up.
#3-I could see the future. Ohhh how this would come in handy.
I, of course, wouldn’t mind the cute little body that the Halliwell girls had.
Emmiebee on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:19 am #
I would love the ability to turn my metabolism and activity level on and off at will. Eat a whole cake?- ON! Sleep for ten hours?- OFF! Ha- now that is super!
But, when you poke at Biology, she tends to bite back, the little weasel. I wonder if this “enhancement” of a super metabolism also causes other processes to run wild and free. Like the development and production of cancer cells. Yuck.
-Emmiebee, Glumbunny
Emmiebee on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:24 am #
Oh, and just to let you all know, my number one request on my Christmas List to Santa when I was six years old was for “Kitten-Girl Powers”. It seems that I wanted to jump really high and sleep alot, all in a kick-butt black cat costume. Ah, things never change, do they?
-EB
SuzyQ on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:28 am #
I would like the power to control minds. That way, I could get my kids to get up and dressed in the morning so we are not constantly late for school. Hmm, might come in handy when being pulled over by the police too
Karen Rose on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:45 am #
Micah’s cousin on Heroes has a great power - she can watch anybody do anything and her body knows how to do it. Of course Micah’s ability to make machines do his bidding is useful, too. Esp. at ATMs or if you are a political candidate, all of the voting machines in NH today, LOL.
SnikWhite on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:35 am #
I would want the ability to look beyond a person’s actions and/or words and look at their intent. You know how when you’re in a relationship and someone says something to you at a moment when they should say something romantic and wonderful, but instead they say, I like cheese. I want to know what that actually means. Hmmmm I guess that would be mind reading wouldn’t it…but I don’t want to know everything…so perhaps a modified mind reading ability would be stellar.
Karen Hawkins on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:43 am #
I want to be Fat Burning Gal! I’ll open my own workout franchises all over the world and people would flock to learn about my Super Fat Burning Secrets! Then, I’d come up with a Fat Burning Pill and market it all over the internet and cable tv and I’d write Fat Burning Super Books and one day, I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Ahem. Sorry. got carried away.
You guys have some great super powers here. Some I’d never have thought of. Hmmm . . . if the Fat Burning Girl thing didn’t work, I might go for Kitten Girl Powers. I could use eight more lives!
RachelG on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:46 am #
I hadn’t thought of the ability to read minds. That could be good . . . but very very bad too. What if someone thinks you’re horrible and hates your shoes. Or they say “I like cheese” because you’re cheesy or smelly. No, best to live in denial.
Super sniff–I’m getting a mental picture of one of my dogs. So, I’d have to pass.
Rachelg
jessie e on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:56 am #
I would definitely have super fat burning abilities. I’d also like to have super get-up-and-go powers so I could have the motivation to get my chores done, my homework, my exercising, etc. I think that would be the best power.
Gannon on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:58 am #
Bring on the super fat burning metabolism!! That would be fantastic!
I guess if I couldn’t have that—why not??!!–I’d love to be able to fly. Or wiggle my nose, a la Bewitched, and pop in anywhere I chose. That would be so handy!
Julia London on 08 Jan 2008 at 10:20 am #
Definitly don’t want supersmell either, Rachel. I’d go for super sight tho.
And the fat-burning thing goes without saying.
claudia dain on 08 Jan 2008 at 10:41 am #
Fat burning, no question, but that should be part of whatever deal you work with the scientists, like a free store giveaway. The power I’d purchase is to fly, just like Peter Pan.
zambonigirl on 08 Jan 2008 at 11:34 am #
Experimentation on animals for stupid inconsequential things like this makes my lilly liberal tree hugging animal rescuing green heart burn with the heat of a thousand fiery suns. If it’s not something you’d ever do to a human, why in God’s name would you do it to a mouse? Why aren’t these people thinking these things through? If it doesn’t benefit anyone, why waste time on it? All this time this asshat took to modify mice to let them have better sex could have been spent researching a cure for cancer or AIDS. It could have been spent finding alternatives to natural gases. Why waste time and a research grant on something that will never benefit humans or animals? “Because it’s there” only works for people who waste their own time. This guy wasted everyone’s time.
Sorry, I’m really righteously indignant before I get my tea. My GREEN tea.
Santa on 08 Jan 2008 at 11:39 am #
Yes, to the fat burning. Not crazy about the running non-stop but more sex. Let me think about that one.
Super-speed would be the power that I’d love to have. The ability to clean the house, do the errands in record time leaving me copious amounts of time to write. Yes, that’s what I’d like.
Ronlyn on 08 Jan 2008 at 11:51 am #
Increased metabolism would be awesome. And I’ve always wanted to be a runner. Now, someone would have to be chasing me with a butcher knife in order to get me to run. Even my 4 year old will solemly tell you “Mommy doesn’t run.”
How about super healing powers? That would be cool.
I’ve already got the Mommy radar which lets me hear when a child gets out of bed or is trying to snatch an extra cookie.
PS Rachel, I just finished “I’m In No Mood for Love” LOVED it! So fun.
cail on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:10 pm #
Zambi, i do agree with you that time would be better spent putting the effort towards curing disease. Maybe something good will come out of it somehow.
Freshechelle on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:11 pm #
Mind Reading - no way, my inflated, but delicate, ego couldn’t handle it.
Fat Burning - nah, with willpower, a nutritionist, a trainer and time, I can acheive that. (but I don’t)
Super Smell - Ick, living in the “what’s that smell” state hasn’t diminished by heightened sense of smell. Woe is me.
Super Sight - everyday I see people who make me think “Hey, get a mirror. We have to look at that.” I don’t need to see more of them.
Flying - Damn, that would be cool. Flying down 5th Avenue over, instead of dodging, gawking tourists with their upturned heads, fanny packs and sluggish pace. I’d have to be able to fly in my car too. If this flying could be embellished with a sort of sinister, superior laugh, that would be aces.
Thanks for indulging my smug sense of superiority.
RachelG on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:41 pm #
I would never fly. I have nightmares about flying. I also have nightmares about elevators, but that’s a different subject.
Healing powers would be cool. Unless I had to take the illness into my own body to heal it. I’m kinda a baby about that.
rachelg
RachelG on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:44 pm #
Ronlyn,
Thrilled you enjoyed In No Mood. I’ve had fun writing about the four friends. Just wrapping up the last book in that series.
rachelg
Ladytink_534 on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:55 pm #
While all that would be cool, there is no way I’d let someone modify my genes. Have you seen I Am Legend?!
doglady on 08 Jan 2008 at 1:28 pm #
Hmmm. Fat burning powers go without saying! I mean my body is built for comfort, not speed, but it would be nice to be shaped like something other than a Lazy-Boy recliner!
The power I would really, really love is “Shut out Power” the ability to shut out everything and anything and sit at my computer and WRITE WRITE WRITE!!!
Talking to animals would be a cool power as well. However, I might not want to know what my furbabies really think of me. Their eyes tell me I am SuperMom, but they could just be sizing me up for a barbecue!
zambonigirl on 08 Jan 2008 at 1:39 pm #
Okay, I’ve had my tea and done some filing, so I’m in a little better headspace right now.
Nothing makes me angrier than animal testing, and this is no exception. Funny how I can’t manage to get this angry about the Cassie Edwards wank over at Smart Bitches, but I figure Cassie Edwards can sleep in the bed she made.
Animal abuse makes me want to go home and hug my guinea pigs, but I won’t because I respect their space too much. They come to me for cuddles (Snoopy especially likes to wedge himself between the two soft pillows I have on my chest for whatever reason…TMI?). I just think that basically, if you wouldn’t do it to humans, it should naturally follow that you shouldn’t do it to animals.
I’d love to fly. I’d love for my metabolism to spike so that I can eat anything I wanted without gaining weight. If this genetic mutation happened naturally, bravo Mr. Darwin! I’m so down with that. Anyway, I’d fly if I could. Or I’d turn into a dragon.
Marie Conley on 08 Jan 2008 at 2:14 pm #
I would certainly become a super human if I could. I have class today from 9-9:45. 13 hrs. not 45 min. I want to crash.
Then after class I have to drive 51 miles back home. Modify my genes now please.
I could go to the gym on my one break rather than sitting on the computer.
LauraR on 08 Jan 2008 at 2:15 pm #
zambonigirl, glad to hear you’ve had your tea!
I agree that animal testing of cosmetics (or the like), like spraying hairspray into rabbits eyes is horrid, just for an example. On the other hand, I get the feeling that the writeup of the supermouse gene is a nonscientist’s take on the research. Gee, can they come up with a headline to catch someone’s eye?? Oh, say like ‘Five times the sex drive!!’ Yeah, that’ll get it noticed.
Sign me up for the first round of human testing for the fat burning gene! And super sight? Sheesh, I’d be really happy to get back the eyesight I had at 25!
Marie Conley on 08 Jan 2008 at 2:24 pm #
Oh I get to pick my own superpower…hmmm…it would have to be speeding up time. Like when the teacher is going on and on about blackboard or when you are sitting staring at the clock watching the seconds tick by until you can talk to someone….
Karen Hawkins on 08 Jan 2008 at 2:53 pm #
Marie, now THAT’S a great power. You GO, Speed It Up Girl! I could use that when my mother’s telling me yet again how to do military folds in bed sheets.
Man, that would be nice.
Ok, I’m giving up the Kitten Girl Powers for Speed It Up Powers. I’m sold.
And Zambi, glad you got your GREEN tea! You were scaring me there for a moment. I get that way about child abuse cases on the news and/or movies or tv. Can’t watch such nonsense for fun. I just want to take a plastic sppon, lock the perp in a small room, and take care of things myself. Justice, thy name is OUCH!
Hey, maybe I should be Plastic Spoon Girl, the Dispenser of Painful Justice!
RachelG on 08 Jan 2008 at 3:19 pm #
Yeah, I could go Medieval on anyone who hurts animal and children. Whenever that animal shelter commercial comes and “in the arms of an angel” starts playing in the background, I have to turn the channel or start bawling.
The whole Cassie Edwards thing . . . I don’t condone plagiarism-if that is indeed what is going on–but I do hate the gleeful piling on and real joy they are all having at going after her. If she is plagiarizing, than something should happen to her, but do we really have to be happy about it?
rachelg
zambonigirl on 08 Jan 2008 at 3:23 pm #
Oh, Karen…if this is how I get about my furry friends, don’t even get NEAR me if there’s some form of child abuse going on.
I’m still just reeling over how this research is not going to be applied towards humans because it “would just be wrong.” The dieting and sexual dysfunction industries are billion-dollar industries. A way to help reduce weight *and* increase your sex drive? Who wouldn’t want that? And all with a little gene splicey? Becoming better athletes without the fear of shrunken testicles and ‘Roid Rage? Sign me up!
So now, the company(ies) that supplied the research grant are going to find a way to bottle this and sell it for 19.95 a bottle because nothing can be done without the almighty dollar profiting. (What conspiracy theory? I don’t see one…)
Anyway, I know that this site is pure escapism for most people, and it is for me too, so I’ll just go back to my copy of The Sharing Knife and see if Dag and Fawn are ready for some hot sexxorz soon.
Marie Conley on 08 Jan 2008 at 3:58 pm #
My mom is a child psychologist that works with abuse cases. She comes home and tells me the most horrific stories. I don’t need news to tell me anything. I refuse to watch it. What kind of MF thinks it’s okay to harm a child? I don’t know, but I have some pretty good ideas on what should be done to them.
colinfirthfan on 08 Jan 2008 at 3:59 pm #
Definitely need the burning fat!!
Happy new Year all! I really missed reading this blog during my 1 month vacation.
Still jet lagged though…..
Sabrina Jeffries on 08 Jan 2008 at 4:03 pm #
Flying, definitely. Would love to be able to fly.
I also agree with Kim–I’d like to have Piper’s ability to freeze time. That would be SO cool.
But mostly, I WANT MY SUPER-METABOLISM GENE!!! NOW!!!
Paula on 08 Jan 2008 at 4:12 pm #
Give me the super fat burning metabolism gene any day. I need it now especially after Christmas. I didn’t over eat but seem to have put a few pounds on and will now have to work at losing it.
cail on 08 Jan 2008 at 4:37 pm #
colinfirthfan, where were you? doesn’t really matter- i’m still jealous.
Karen Hawkins on 08 Jan 2008 at 6:05 pm #
Colinfirthfan! Welcome back!
I’d like to be Hot Tar Woman . . . I’d go around and singe the pub hair of every man who’s ever cheated on his faithful partner/spouse/whathaveyou. “Take THAT from all the Beautiful Women of the World, grease ball!”
Ahem. Perhaps I should leave the super power stuff alone and just walk away . . . slowly.
colinfirthfan on 08 Jan 2008 at 6:38 pm #
I was in Hong Kong and then in India. It was fabulous. I need another vacation after that flight though. Waaayy toooo looong.
Thank you Karen!
I like Hot Tar Woman! Funny!
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 6:47 pm #
I leave you girls for a few hours and what do I come back to? Karen H is singing pubes with hot tar and using a plastic spoon in ways I never considered. (I’ve always been a dull, butter knife girl myself)
Rachel is going Medieval…which by the way was Karen R’s forte until today.
Zambi says “It could have been spent finding alternatives to natural gases.” Living with two men and Phil the wonder dog implores me to agree.
However, when you ask “A way to help reduce weight *and* increase your sex drive? Who wouldn’t want that?”
Um… I have to sheepishly raise my hand in the back of the class. If you added “while scarfing chocolate,” I’d be waving my hand like a first grader who chugged four Snapples at lunch.
Somebody, Puh Leaze, send me the link to find out what is going on with Cassie Edwards. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Wow…it appears that I am actually one of the sweet gees today. LOL
You go, girls!
PS Welcome back ColinFirthFan.
zambonigirl on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:34 pm #
Ellen, if you really want to know, go to http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/ Edwards is accused of plagiarism, and there’s some pretty hard evidence to back up the claim.
As Rachel G said, it starts out really gleeful. “We told you she was a terrible author!”, and then it turned into, “Wow, this woman is really pathetic”. This morning, another reader brought up more “alleged” plagiarism, and it’s turning into a free-for all. There are some great responses, however, especially from Nora Roberts who had been plagiarized a while back and is weighing in on the part of the accusers. I read a bunch of it today, but be warned that it’s giving me a headache.
colinfirthfan-did you have a great time? That sounds like so much fun!
Suzanne Enoch on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:45 pm #
I want super whirligig house cleaning power. Poof, and everything’s clean.
And super gadget-understanding brain, so I would know how to use all the hi-tech gadgets as soon as they come on the market.
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 7:59 pm #
I want Suzanne’s Super photographer. Any time I want to look good in a photo…WHAM, Bam, Look at that Ma’am.
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:12 pm #
Thanks for the link Zambi. Sad, Sad and more Sad. I hope everything gets cleared up. I couldn’t find the link to Nora’s comments, though. I remember her case with Janet Daily.
Boy did this Blog take a turn today. And for once, I AM INNOCENT! Mmmmwahhhaaha!
KariE on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:58 pm #
Wow Zambi! Interesting reading over there. I agree with Ellen, it is very sad. I did find the Nora comment, Ellen. I can direct you if your interested.
Again, wow.
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 8:59 pm #
Absolutely Kari. What is the link?
KariE on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:03 pm #
I will send you it via forum message. Im not sure if the link to the comments work the same.
Ellen on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:53 pm #
Thanks so much Kari and Zambi. I can’t stop reading their comments. Geez, they ride the edge over there. Very compelling. So I guess I can assume there are millions of Romance Blogs out there? uh duh
And to think I bragged to my kid that I know how to blog. lol
zambonigirl on 09 Jan 2008 at 12:13 pm #
Ellen said: “Boy did this Blog take a turn today. And for once, I AM INNOCENT! Mmmmwahhhaaha!”
I totally did not mean to hijack the comments thread. I feel like a bad girl now.
In other news, Cracked did a piece on genetic mutations, and super speedy oversexed mice made it on!
http://www.cracked.com/article_15801_5-current-genetic-experiments-most-likely-destroy-humanity.html
I’m going to become a vegetarian now and weep for humanity.