Say It on a Shirt
Jan 2nd 2008
Suzanne EnochOn Writing!
I love to wear T-shirts. Since I began writing full time, they’ve become my work clothes. Not just any T-shirt will do, though. They must be special. I like the shirts that say something about…me.
At Halloween I needed to run to Wal-Mart, and pulled on my “Author” T-shirt. Everyone at the store chuckled and nodded at me, and I thought “wow, that’s cool, they’re so supportive” – and then I realized that it was Halloween, and they thought the shirt was my costume. Sigh.
Yes, some shirts are crass and not-so-clever, but there are some good ones out there, and for just about every taste. The Star Wars Wookie T, the Serenity T that says “Shiny” (one of my favs), the Napoleon’s World Tour shirt that lists the places and dates of all the major Peninsular War battles – yep, I own those, too.
My sister gave me the “action figures” shirt for Christmas; it allows me to feel geeky and cool all at the same time.
Do you own any wordy T-shirts? Have you seen one that’s really amusing? 
Or are you not a T-shirt person?
67 Comments »
67 Responses to “Say It on a Shirt”
Marie Conley on 02 Jan 2008 at 4:18 am #
I’m not a t-shirt person, but I have a few. One of my favorite is a little PG-13.
The front has, “Proud to be a Jackass.”
The back says, Young Democrat.
I can’t wear it here, but at college I can.
Karen Rose on 02 Jan 2008 at 5:53 am #
Suzie - I want one of those Napoleon world tour shirts for DH as he’s a Wold History teacher! Where did you get it?
I’m not a T-shirt person (I do coffee mugs), but I love your collection. DH collects them - one of his faves is one he got at the British Museum in London that was an Albrecht Durer woodcut of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. It was enough to scare small children.
Gannon on 02 Jan 2008 at 7:35 am #
I have a few T-shirts, but my 15 year-old son has tons–the funnier the saying, the better. He has one that you would appreciate, Suzanne. It says, “Vader was framed.”
One of my shirts that I have came from the Big Dog store and it says “Treat me like the Goddess that I am.” Appropriate, huh?!
I also have a couple of shirts that I got in the UK–they are from a company called French Connection UK, so everything has the letters FCUK. One says, “Cool as FCUK” and the other says “Too busy to FCUK.” Needless to say, I don’t wear them often because everyone thinks they say F@*K. It’s pretty funny to see people react, especially my mom. *snort*
Lisa H on 02 Jan 2008 at 7:50 am #
I used to have this T-Shirt that had a little girl standing next to an open oven door. Inside the oven, two little piles of smoke rose from two small objects. The caption read, “Oops, it looks like we left Ken and Barbie in the sauna too long.”
I loved that T-Shirt, wore it so much that I wore it out!
Suzanne, I love your T-Shirts–great blog!
Ellen on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:05 am #
How bout a tee that says, “The objects in this shirt may appear larger than they are.”
Karen Hawkins on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:10 am #
I bought myself a t-shirt for Christmas. It says IN FAVRE WE TRUST. I wear it to the store, the bookstore, the doctor’s office, anywhere I might convert people to the Holy Favre Packers Way of Life and Light.
Suzie, expect the brainwashing to commence at the national conference.
I saw a shirt yesterday that I’d love to have, though. It said, “Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.” I need that one.
MarthaH on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:23 am #
I had this T-shirt that I really loved. It said “What part of NO don’t you understand?”
As a Mother who’s son (when he was much younger) was extremely precocious - I would wear the t-shirt a lot!! It saved my sanity! LOL
Cookiedough on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:53 am #
I wore a t in my 20’s that is as true today as it was then.
I made it myself. the saying was:
“The more I know about men, the more I love my dog.”
now I wear lots of T’s but no sayings at all except for my slob shirt that has seen better days that says:
“Laugh a lot,play and have fun”
True words to the goddesses, and oddly, the one I’m wearing right now.
hmmmm insert twilight zone music here.
cookeemama on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:54 am #
Oh, Ellen, I NEED that tshirt! I love to read tshirts. Ranks right up there with people watching as I can do both at the same time. It’s a shame that some people think having something gross written on their tees is the height of humor. And I’m not including you, Gannon. lol
My daughter is a server at a dinner theater. She has both a tshirt and a sweatshirt from”The Full Monty”. She gets a lot of double-takes when she wears them. Which is often.
I can’t wait to read what others have or have seen today.
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!
Margaret
doglady on 02 Jan 2008 at 9:39 am #
Yes, Suzanne, give us the goods on the Napoleon t-shirt. Love it. I would make a t-shirt of my favorite FROS man, but in this small town I would get in serious trouble! I LOVE t-shirts. Can’t wear them at work, but I do collect them. When they finally wear out I save the visual part and eventually they become a quilt to remind me of where I’ve been and what I thought. I love my Dogs Rule t-shirts. I also have a series of t-shirts with great photos of dogs and sayings like “I didn’t do it.” “Don’t follow me, I’m lost.” “Troublemaker” Another favorite “I can resist anything except temptation.” Oscar Wilde. Great t-shirt for me “Don’t make me use my opera voice.” or “If you don’t go away I can’t miss you.” or “I like your approach, lets see your departure.” A friend sent me a t-shirt that says “I’m a writer. Daydreaming is my job!”
ladydawgfan on 02 Jan 2008 at 9:44 am #
I love wordy t-shirts. My parents gave me one for Christmas that says “As soon as I finish this chapter . . .” I love it!!
I also have one that reads “National Sarcasm Society - Like we need YOUR support!”
One I used to have read “Everyone is watching you stare at my chest!”
A friend in college had one that read “si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.” She usually wore it to her latin class to amuse her professor.
Another favorite reads “Everyone is born right handed. Only the gifted overcome it!”
KariE on 02 Jan 2008 at 9:50 am #
My favorite t-shirt has Where the Wild Things are on it. Oh how I loved that book!! When I saw the shirt I had to have it. I can’t tell you how many times I get stopped wearing that shirt.
I use to have a shirt that said BWA:B!t@h With An Attitude. I liked that shirt.
Julia London on 02 Jan 2008 at 10:25 am #
I got two for Christmas I think are hilarious:
“Stereotypes are a real time saver” (for the author in all of us — and isn’t it true!!)
“I wish someone would do something about how fat I am” This is my new workout Tshirt, LOL
Claudia Dain on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:14 am #
I had a sweatshirt that had the old Cheetos Tiger on it and it said, “It’s not easy being cheesy.” Loved that shirt! I’ve taken those words to be something of a personal motto. Because, hey, it *isn’t* easy being cheesy!
Ladydawgfan, before you run away, I’d LOVE to have your Limpa recipe. Pretty please with Spritz on top?
Gannon on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:23 am #
Julia, I love your t-shirt: “I wish someone would do something about how fat I am.” LOL I could use that as my workout T-shirt as well. I’m saying this as I have just eaten my last Snickers Santa from my Christmas stocking. How sad is that?! Ha!
Karen Rose on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:26 am #
My late father-in-law was a cartoonist and would do illustrations for t-shirts. My favorite of his was the Three Bears sitting around the table. Papa Bear is picking at his teeth and on the floor is a blond wig and a little dress. The caption reads “Whoo-e! That sure beats porridge!”
zambonigirl on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:41 am #
My favorite is “I’m With Illogical” followed by “I *heart* Mr. Darcy”. I want one from a t-shirt company that has an otter on it, and it says, “This Is My Otter Shirt.”
And look who’s typing with both hands now! I got the cast off after only five weeks, and I’m now wearing a brace. I’m supposed to be exercising my wrist. It’s not down with that.
Nicole Jordan on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:43 am #
Most of the time it’s too cold to wear T-shirts where I live in Utah… I have a huge drawer full of them from my Georgia days.
But I love sweatshirts and wear them religiously. My sis just gave me the “Be careful or you’ll end up in my novel” sweatshirt for Xmas. Really fun!
That’s great about your arm healing, Zambo!
>>> great photos of dogs and sayings like “I didn’t do it.” “Don’t follow me, I’m lost.” “Troublemaker” Another favorite “I can resist anything except temptation.”
Those are hilarious, Doglady!
SnikWhite on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:46 am #
I am addicted to funny tshirts. There is just something wonderful about wearing your humor…lets someone know if they want to approach you or not right? These are the ones on my list of shirts to acquire in the near future.
“It might look like I’m not doing anything, but on a cellular level, I’m really quite busy”
“Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil”
“Cereal Killer” (accompanied by a picture of a spoon)
“Sarcasm: Just one more service we offer”
“Without Me, its just Aweso”
“Department of Redundancy Department”
“To err is human. To blame someone else, shows management potential”
cail on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:02 pm #
the only tshirt i really wear with words are the ones that are ironic if you know me, or involve pirates.
Back in college my friends and I all made tshirts that say ‘Everyone Loves an Irish Girl’ in Gaelic. I love that shirt.
SuzyQ on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:09 pm #
I love the Happy Bunny t-shirts. I have one that says “It’s all about me deal with it” Other than that, I wear my TAPS shirt a lot.
Suzanne, my nephew has a t that says “The force is strong with this one”
Sabrina Jeffries on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:16 pm #
It’s snowing here!
Sorry, I know that has nothing to do with the blog topic, but I’m just so shocked. We haven’t had snow in Raleigh in a while. It IS the South, after all. Here’s how long it’s been–Clueless Me looked out the window and thought, “I know we had some warm weather last week, but I didn’t think it was warm enough to start the flowers drifting off the trees.” Then I realized it wasn’t flowers.
Oooookay, t-shirts. There’s tons that I love, and I can’t think of a single one right now. I don’t really wear them (they’re unattractive on a body my size), but I definitely need one that says, “Crawling Back into my Hole” for when I’m on deadline.
Kim on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:25 pm #
My son has several. My favorites: Keep staring and I might do a trick and What if the hooky pooky is what its really all about. LOL
Sabrina–we’ve got loads of snow. Again. I’m so happy we got to share some with you *g*
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:25 pm #
Oh, I love the Star Wars shirts — and I won’t even comment that other than me, it seems to be teenage boys wearing them. *g*
Angela on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:30 pm #
I have two favorite t-shirts:
Instant Human Just add Coffee
In the beginning was the word, and the word was Chocolate
and it was good
My best one I got from a Hallmark store over 20 years ago and it read Give me some Chocolate and nobody gets hurt. I had more men stop me and literally ask to buy the shirt off my back.
I have a lot of t-shirts with cats on them and a lot with Eeyore on them.
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pm #
The Napoleon T is actually from a computer war game or something, and it seems to still be available:
http://www.warshows.com/Detail.bok?no=3824
It’s amazing how many T’s you can find that have writer and reader themes.
Some of the shirts you guys have/want are amazing! I want them all!
anneriailin on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:41 pm #
It’s snowing here also, but then it has been off and on for 3 days now! Ugh…I’m ready to fly south!
Love t-shirts with sayings on them and so do my sons. My youngest has many of them, too many to list here. Lots of Star Wars and video game stuff though. I think my favorite shirt was from that Aussie t-shirt company and it said….. ‘Aging is inevitable, Growing up is optional’.
Freshechelle on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:48 pm #
Oh please oh please tell me where I can get that Napolean World Tour T. That is clever.
My faves are “I Love Your Mullet”and “The beatings will stop when morale improves.” This is a best seller in the NJ souvernir shop in Newark Airport though it has nothing to do with the state. Says a lot about the market.
Mary C. on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:49 pm #
My neighbor’s daughter was wearing a red T-shirt that stated
I Want It !
You Buy It!
Any Questions?
Lisa H on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:52 pm #
I don’t know how I could forget this, but I have a gorgeous T-Shirt with an actual photo of Captain Jack Sparrow on it. I bought it at Disney world last year for, gasp, $26.00! I am so cheap, I usually would spend $26.00 for anything unless it was leather…anyway, for my Johnny, I spent it, but I don’t wear it often, because I don’t want to get a stain on it or have it wear away in the wash.
Teresa Medieros has a T- Shirt that says, “I finished a book today” which she saves for such an occasion. I’d like to wear a shirt like that at least twice each year!
Julia London on 02 Jan 2008 at 12:59 pm #
SnikWhite, I love those T-shirts! Those are priceless!
Gannon on 02 Jan 2008 at 1:15 pm #
Sabrina, it started snowing here last night, and it’s supposed to keep snowing until tomorrow morning. Of course, I’m a few hours to the northwest of you in the mountains, but we’re pretty excited about it. Ironically, it’s supposed to be in the 50’s by Sunday. Go figure!
Kasey on 02 Jan 2008 at 1:31 pm #
I love T-shirts too. My favorites are my Harry Potter Tees. I have one that says, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” on the front and on the back it says, “Mischief managed.” I also have one that says, “Dumbledore’s Army.” and a third one with just the Hogwarts crest on it. In case you haven’t figured it out I love Harry Potter.
ladydawgfan on 02 Jan 2008 at 1:46 pm #
Claudia, I’m at work right now and away from my recipe books, but as soon as I get home tonight, I’ll shoot the recipe out to you. Which e-mail addy would you like me to use?
T-shirt to chuckle over: “On the advice of my attorney, this shirt has no comment at this time . . .”
Claudia Dain on 02 Jan 2008 at 1:55 pm #
Oh, thank you, thank you, Ladydawgfan! You can send the recipe to claudiadain@aol.com
I will cherish this recipe for the rest of my life and my children’s children will bless you.
KariE on 02 Jan 2008 at 2:06 pm #
My girlfriend has one that say “Caught you looking at my ta-ta’s”. It is super funny when her husband wears it. And I do have a picture of that. haha
Gannon on 02 Jan 2008 at 2:20 pm #
One of my favorite catalogs that I get is called What On Earth. They have some hilarious t-shirts. Here are a few:
“I fart in your general direction.” from Monty Python and The Holy Grail–yes, my 15 year old has this one.
“Yet, despite the look on my face, you’re still talking.”
“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons…for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.”
“The voices in my head told me to buy more shoes.”–just for you, Karen H!
“Chocolate–the catnip of the female world.”
“Deadlines Amuse Me.” — perfect for you Goddesses!
“Life is a circus, and I’m stuck in the freak tent.”
“In the pasture of life, don’t be a cowpie.”
“Some days it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.”
“What part of MOOOOWAHAHAHAHA don’t you understand?”
“Mom, Dad,… I’m Gaelic.”
“Maturity, wisdom, life experience. I’d trade it all for tight abs.”
“Life is short. Read fast!”
Gannon on 02 Jan 2008 at 2:21 pm #
One more–sorry, I can’t help myself. This one is actually a plaque, but it’s priceless.
“Some drink at the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.”
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jan 2008 at 2:30 pm #
I love that catalog, Gannon — I get some of my best shirts from there.
And I want to know who orders the Napoleon shirt. You have to tell.
Freshechelle on 02 Jan 2008 at 2:59 pm #
I’m seriously thinking about that Napolean shirt for my mandatory trip to Paris next week (I know there will be no pity parties for me).
My colleague just shared his favorites:
over a picture of the Statue of Liberty “NEW YORK If you can make it here, you’ve got a trust fund.”
“It’s not whoring if you do it for free.” Sorry to “work blue” but that’s funny.
zambonigirl on 02 Jan 2008 at 3:19 pm #
I almost forgot one of my favorites:
JESUS LOVES YOU!
then again, he loves everybody
Ann in IL on 02 Jan 2008 at 3:38 pm #
I only have two talking t’s . One says ” Money talks…Chocolate sings” and the other says “I Bite Back”
Zambonigirl - LOL at the Jesus T. That’s a great one.
cail on 02 Jan 2008 at 4:19 pm #
i totally forgot about my potter shirts! i’ve got a quidditch one.
Gannon, i LOVE the dragon one… i need to see if what on earth has a website
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jan 2008 at 4:30 pm #
Remember when the height of T-shirt art used to be “I’m With Stupid” or a big smiley face?
I had lunch with my former office mates today, and I wore my new “English Major: You Do the Math” shirt.
I gave my bil one that says “The villages are coming with pitchforks and torches. Please hide me.”
I want that to be my fall-back job — writing pithy T-shirt sayings. *g*
SnikWhite on 02 Jan 2008 at 4:46 pm #
OOOOH yeah! One more I thought of that I had seen:
“No man ever got shot while doing the dishes”
I mean, I’m just saying…
Paula on 02 Jan 2008 at 4:47 pm #
I tend to wear plain t’s but my 4year old son has one that says
“If I am going to get into trouble I might as well do it” he used to have one that said ” If mummy says NO then I ask Grandma”!!
Judy F on 02 Jan 2008 at 5:05 pm #
I got my newest niece a t-shirt that says.”all my mommy wants for christmas is a silent night”
Some I have are”
“dogs have owners, cats have staff”
“get Impaled—you know you want to” (this is from Erin McCarthy/kathy Loves ficitional vampire band)
“this is the worst day of my life—again”
“so many books so little time”
“tweety wear”
I am sure I have more but the brain is tired.
Judy F on 02 Jan 2008 at 5:06 pm #
another one my new niece has is.
“what happens at grandma’s–stays at grandma’s”
Karen Rose on 02 Jan 2008 at 5:12 pm #
Oh - I have a math teacher one that I love -
Got Milk?
Need PI (3.14….)
HA!! That one cracks me up every time.
Kay on 02 Jan 2008 at 5:44 pm #
Almost all of mine are political, so I will spare you. My oldest son had one that said, “It’s my brother’s fault.” When he out grew it, he passed it on to his little brother. I thought that was ironic. LOL
My husband has one that says, “Agenda for the day: Let the dog out, Let the dog in. Let the dog out, Let the dog in. Let the dog out, Let the dog in.”
ladydawgfan on 02 Jan 2008 at 6:26 pm #
T-shirts I want:
If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard!
Sanity is backordered, Sarcasm is in unlimited supply.
What I really need are minions.
My significant other goes “Meow!”
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
Well aren’t we just a freakin’ ray of sunshine?!!
Manure Occureth
I did not escape . . . they gave me a day pass!!
If you can’t stand the heat, don’t tickle the dragon.
My greatest fear is that there is no PMS and that this is my personality!
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
ladydawgfan on 02 Jan 2008 at 6:42 pm #
Cont.
Give me Ambiguity or give me something else!
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself!
PMS = Purchase More Shoes!!
I just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Did I miss anything?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Lisa H on 02 Jan 2008 at 6:44 pm #
I bought a T-Shirt for my girlfriend’s baby that said, “Nothings wrong - Just Testing you”
Ha Ha Gannon and Ladydawgfan good ones!
Karen Rose on 02 Jan 2008 at 7:13 pm #
Love the Binary one, Ladydawgfan!
All the others are great too, but the nerd ones slay me.
Sabrina Jeffries on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:09 pm #
Okay, ladydawgfan, if these are YOURS, you need to be a t-shirt salesman. I’m LOL over here!
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jan 2008 at 8:24 pm #
Snort. You guys are cracking me up!
My bil loves T’s, too — another of his says, “333 — I’m only half evil”. I gave my 2-yr-old nephew one for Christmas that says “Now beginning part 2 of my plan to take over the world”.
Georgie Lee on 02 Jan 2008 at 9:10 pm #
My husband has a Bob Ross “Happy trees” t-shirt. I gave one to my artist sister and she thought it was funny.
doglady on 02 Jan 2008 at 9:30 pm #
Okay, now I am going to go broke buying t-shirts. These are hilarious!! Manure occureth! Love it! Now if you want to see a tacky one I have one that I very seldom wear as I live in the Bible belt. It says “Jesus loves you. The rest of us think you’re an asshole!”
Julia London on 02 Jan 2008 at 10:44 pm #
Ooh, ladydawgfan, I forgot — a friend gave me the What I Really Need are Miinions T-shirt! I wear it around the house a lot to make a point to Certain People.
Karen Hawkins on 02 Jan 2008 at 11:54 pm #
Oh. My. Gosh. I was lost in Clean Up Your Darn Office Land today and I came back to THIS. I am SO going to order me some new t-shirts! I’m off to google some of these!
(And Gannon, thanks for the shoe reference! I’m need one today!)
anneriailin on 03 Jan 2008 at 1:05 pm #
I just have to add this one. I know it’s late and nobody will probably see it but, oh well. My sister gave my brother a t-shirt years ago that said:
If you can’t dazzle them will brilliance, baffle them with bullsh*t.
That saying still makes me smile. And it reminds me of SO many people!
–dorothy
Yasmin on 03 Jan 2008 at 4:37 pm #
Kasey where you get that HP t-shirt. i would luv to get one
Yasmin on 03 Jan 2008 at 4:45 pm #
My lil brother is into his PS3. Awhile back I bought a shirt that said
****Will Trade Parents For Video Games****
Its gets funny whenever he gets mad at mom or wants a new video game and cant have it (He finishes a game in a day or 2 max) we get home he puts on his shirt sulking LOL
elsiehogarth on 04 Jan 2008 at 1:41 pm #
I just love t-shirts…I have a lot of them…so many, that now I even make my own. I am forever collecting sayings to put on them. Here are some I really like:
Time Flies
When You
Are Having Rum!
My Book Club
Can Beat Up
Your Book Club
I’M Not Stubborn
My Way is Just Better.
Girlfriends Don’t Really Gossip
We Network.
Do Not Meddle
In The Affairs of
Dragons
For You Are
Crunchy and good
with Ketchup.
National Sarcasm Society
Like we Need your support.
Books.
The Original search Engine.
Here I Am.
Now,what are your other 2 wishes?
So Much To Do and
so many other things
to distract me.
Not Perfect
But so close it scares me.
I Will Conquer My
Procrastination Problem…
Just You Wait!
Quick!
Hide all the chocolate
in my mouth.
Dot C on 07 Jan 2008 at 8:55 am #
My MR has the most abrasive t-shirt ever. I hate it. It says “I’m Shy But I Have a Big ****” Uh huh, it’s what u think. So I fixed his wagon good. On a day he insisted wearing it, against my sage advice (this was VERY early in our relationship) I took him around and introduced him to a boatload of people. He’s never worn it since. Funny enough, that shirt has almost become a Legend. Our friends now ask “did he really have a shirt that said that?” LOL
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