Epaulettes and Fire Hoses
Nov 10th 2007
Sabrina JeffriesGoddess Eye Candy
Okay, I know Karen just blogged day before yesterday about men in clothes, but this is a whole ’nother thing. Because now we’re talking uniforms.
Some women find men in uniforms sexy. It’s a fact—why else do those stripper guys show up at parties wearing police uniforms? Or so I’m told, never having actually seen one. What kind of goddess do you think I am, anyway?
But not all uniforms are sexy. I see a guy in a Beefeater uniform, and I automatically think of gin. And not in a good way. Plus, uniform lust is highly subjective. For example, the uniforms of these men instantly catch my lascivious attention:
1) Marines in dress uniform ala Richard Gere at the end of Officer and a Gentleman
2) Firemen in any piece of their … er … equipment
3) Chefs in the requisite white jacket and toque. Hey, I automatically adore any man who will feed me. I have a relation who’s married to a French pastry chef. It doesn’t get any better than that!
4) Soldiers in certain 19th-century uniforms. Ooh, hussars and highlanders! The boots and kilts get me every time.
Meanwhile, the uniforms of these … well, they don’t turn my crank, if you know what I mean:
1) Policemen, oddly enough. While I love detectives both in books and in life, the patrolmen in the blue hats just make me think of … getting a ticket. Not sexy.
2) Doctors. I know, I know, men in scrubs or lab coats do it for some women, but not me. I know where those hands have been, and it ain’t pretty.
3) Modern sailors. What can I say—they remind me of over-grown boys. I guess I’ve seen too many children in sailor suits.
4) 19th-century sailors wearing bicorn hats. It’s just too Gilbert & Sullivan. And given that I hunted through 300 pictures of Colin Firth (such a trial!), looking for an image of him in the bicorn in P&P before I gave up, I must not be alone.
So tell me, do you like men in uniform? Or does it depend on the uniform? Which uniforms float your boat? Are there any that give you the heebie-jeebies?
29 Comments »
29 Responses to “Epaulettes and Fire Hoses”
Karen Hawkins on 10 Nov 2007 at 8:50 am #
I looove uniforms. Cops, firemen, military, pirates . . . well, ok maybe ‘pirates’ don’t have a uniform, but still! Uniforms represent successful, steady guys to me and I find that SO sexy! It also sort of says ‘authority’ which I dig, too.
The only uniform that doesn’t float my boat is a prison uniform. Orange. Blech.
Meg on 10 Nov 2007 at 9:43 am #
I love a man in unifrom. But it does depend on the uniform. Like you, Sabrina, the doctor just doesn’t do anything for me. I think the Marines have the best looking uniform of the armed forces. It’s so sharp looking. And there is just something about a firefighter in unifrom. Although, I would say that it would depend on the man in the uniform, too. If he doesn’t wear it well, or is a major jerk, the uniform probably couldn’t do much to help him.
amy1242 on 10 Nov 2007 at 9:46 am #
I like a man in uniform. It makes him look confiedent. It helps if he’s also fit and in good shape. I’ve seen some uniforms with stress on the buttons and that’s not so nice to look at, but who am I to complain? Give me a hunky guy in a uniform to gaze at any day of the week, and I’m happy! And Karen, I think pirate attire constitutes a uniform. They just have more leeway in accessories and such. Aaaarggghh!
doglady on 10 Nov 2007 at 9:54 am #
Sabrina, I have to agree that policemen in uniform are not my favorite thing to see. I used to have a lead foot and you can only get so many tickets for doing 94 in a 55 before you really start to hate those uniforms. I am not overly fond of doctors in white coats either! I am a terrible patient. Love the chef in uniform. Food, glorious food! One of my former students is the head chef in a five star Italian restaurant in Savannah. I get the royal treatment any time I visit AND boy can he cook!! Military dress uniforms that are well-filled out are always welcome!The Queen’s household cavalry are always a treat. I love the hats. The Swiss guards at the Vatican? Yuck. What is up with that? Any nineteenth century military uniform melts my butter, especially when worn by someone like Hugh Jackman. I am going to duck back into my cave before Karen H sees this and reminds me that Hugh is hers!
jessie on 10 Nov 2007 at 10:00 am #
I never have liked men in uniforms. Male strippers kind of creep me out, and whenever I think of lusting after men in uniforms, I always think of male strippers. Doesn’t really do it for me. BUT. On last week’s THE OFFICE, Jim wore a warehouse worker uniform (a female one, apparently, but I couldn’t tell), and he looked muy sexy in it. I mean, I was fanning myself to keep from fainting he looked so good. Maybe that’s just because it was Jim, though.
Lisa H on 10 Nov 2007 at 10:03 am #
Sabrina, I could go either way. (I’m still thinking of the Italian man in Armani from Karen’s post the other day!)
It totally depends on the man. Most of the firemen around here are middle aged bald men with large bellys - not quite like the one in your post!
Give me Johnny Depp in a Pirate’s outfit or in a suit, or in jeans and tee-shirt or in the buff and I’m good!
Sabrina Jeffries on 10 Nov 2007 at 10:31 am #
doglady, I HAD to go look up those Swiss guard uniforms. Oh. My. God. Definitely not sexy. If y’all want to look, there’s a picture here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swiss_Guard
I do like the berets, however. I confess that I have a thing for berets.
Come to think of it, I think that might have a big influence in whether I like a uniform or not. I really don’t like those tall fuzzy hats the Queen’s Guard (and some Highlander troops) wear. On the other hand, I adore the Musketeer’s uniform. And it’s an added bonus that it makes me think of chocolate.
Jessie, strippers creep me out, too.
And let me just say that I considered including pirates, but honestly, that’s a costume, not a uniform. Maybe I’ll do another blog on costumes sometime!
FreshEChelle on 10 Nov 2007 at 11:00 am #
Thanks for the musical headache. Anyone know the 80’s song by Gang of Four titled “I Love a Man in Uniform” which will be stuck in my head all day?
Uniforms can work for me but I agree with you Sabrina, there are limits. Those Navy boys come to town for Fleet Week - it’s hard to look manly when you’re dressed like the guy on the Cracker Jack box.
claudia dain on 10 Nov 2007 at 12:12 pm #
Wow, can you believe that I’ve never given this any thought at all before now?
Men in uniforms…uh, some are good, some aren’t so good. Is it possible that I don’t even notice when a guy is in uniform or not??? I think so.
The people I notice in uniform are women and it’s always because I feel so sorry for them. A woman just looks funny in a uniform and I know why (because this I’ve given a lot of thought to)—uniforms are designed for male bodies. Women in uniforms of the military/police/fire fighter variety always look uncomfortable. The shoes are huge, the shirts too tight across the bust, the pants snug across the hips. Squirm, tug.
dbrown3400 on 10 Nov 2007 at 12:50 pm #
We must be lucky here in Somerville as we have a good-looking assortment of cops and firemen who look really hot in their uniforms. I never noticed their hats myself.
Claudia, I do agree with you about the women. There is a female cop in a neighboring town who looks miserable in her uniform although she does carry the same look of authority as do the men in her unit.
Although I agree the Marines have the best looking dress uniforms, the Navy ain’t too shabby — think Tom Selleck in his dress whites in Magnum, PI. My brother looked pretty good in his as well.
Sabrina, please do a blog on pirates so we can discuss James Malory.
Cookiedough on 10 Nov 2007 at 1:56 pm #
Uniforms can be yummy clothes on yummy men! it’s all about the man inside! Police dress uniforms can be really nice. RCMP dress uniforms are quite nice. mmmmmm!
My mom loved my dad in his Soldier gear. And he really liked her in her nurse’s uniform..ahh the 40’s, after the war.
I agree that orange prison garb is icky, and security guard doesn’t do it for me either!
KMB25 on 10 Nov 2007 at 2:25 pm #
I agree that some men in Uniforms can be Oh-so-sexy! I personally like Marines and Firemen..yum yum! Sabrina, I think for a policman uniform, it really depends on the man wearing it! If it’s a hot guy in a police Uniform…..well, yummy…
But if it’s a 50-something bald man with a rather large belly….well, ick. All I can think of then is speeding tickets and how many donuts that person must eat. (so I agree on that score!)
Another uniform that I just can’t say is sexy is a postal worker…see, in the summer they wear those little shorts…and eww. Most men really shouldn’t be showing their legs off to that degree.
~Kim
Karen Hawkins on 10 Nov 2007 at 2:34 pm #
You know, I’m trying to get into the chef uniform thingee and it isn’t working. It’s just not All That to me. Looks a bit too close to the dishwasher guy’s get up.
Another uniform I don’t care for is the one bellhops wear. They sometimes look like one of those little clanging money.
Little shorts on postal workers aren’t all that hot, either.
BUT the Navy whites like Magnum wore and the one in Officer and a Gentleman — YOWSA! i dug those!
Buffie on 10 Nov 2007 at 3:28 pm #
I think I have to agree with cookiedough, it all depends on what is underneath the uniform. I mean really if the guy is already hot, then he is gonna look hot in a uniform!
Suzanne Enoch on 10 Nov 2007 at 4:17 pm #
I’ll take Sharpe in his hunter green uniform any day of the week. Those things are so cool-looking.
http://lancemannion.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/chosen_men.jpg
And so is Sean Bean, for that matter. *g*
DebMarlowe on 10 Nov 2007 at 4:35 pm #
Mmm…Sean Bean.
You guys know–gimme me a man in uniform and BOOTS!
We have a friend who drives for UPS. PUlling up to his house and finding him mowing the lawn in his brown shorts and brown knee high socks–and nothing else– was almost enough to put me off uniforms forever.
Almost.
Michellynn on 10 Nov 2007 at 5:00 pm #
Ya know….I was just about to post that I didn’t really care one way or the other about men in uniform, UNTIL Suzanne reminded me of Sharpe, at which point my answer changed entirely. LOL THAT is a man in uniform I can completely give the full swoon-worthy rating to. :o) (Now that I have that image in my head I’ll have to see if I can convince DH to cue up a few Sharpe DVDs tonight..hehe )
Seriously though…uniforms don’t usually do anything for me. I don’t really dislike any of them, but conversely, none really flip the switch to “on” for me either. I suppose I could say historical military uniforms do to some extent…but then again, historical dress of almost any sort is a fairly sure thing to raise my pulse rate. LOL
As for male strippers…well, back in the day I actually dated one. Soooo, I guess it is safe to say they didn’t all creep me out…at least not that one in particular. LOL (what can I say, I was young and foolish….but it was fun while it lasted)
FreshEChelle on 10 Nov 2007 at 5:04 pm #
Cookiedough - security uniforms!!! No man who isn’t working security should wear a navy blazer with grey pants. It’s unsettling (not the good kind of unsettling.) Not that I steal.
Karen on 10 Nov 2007 at 6:16 pm #
I married a man in his uniform and we are still married after 43 years last October. I begged, pleaded, promised him almost anything if he would wear his U. S. Air Force dress uniform at our wedding. Did I mention, he’s wonderful?
Sabrina Jeffries on 10 Nov 2007 at 6:17 pm #
Donna, we don’t need an excuse to talk about James Malory, do we? Hey, start a thread on the forum, and I’m there.
Believe it or not, I thought about Sharpe while I was writing the blog, but didn’t want to take the time to research his uniform. Thanks, Suzie, for the link! GREAT picture.
I do love me some Sharpe.
Marie on 10 Nov 2007 at 6:35 pm #
Men in uniforms. My current bf wears a suit to work everyday. Not so much of a uniform, but it gets the blood going.
But marines do make me want me to get carried away. Other than that uniforms do not make my blood boil.
Accents most definitely do. Scottish, English, New York, any thing that doesn’t sound like southern slang.
Mia Rose on 10 Nov 2007 at 7:30 pm #
Ooooh, A man in the right uniform just bumps up his sexiness.
I think any law enforcement/firefighter/etc. uniform is great (ESPECIALLY that firefighter picture you have posted up there Sabrina… Fantastic), and MOST of the armed forces look pretty good to me. I admit, I used to watch JAG all the time just because of David James Elliot and other random hot guys in uniform… sort of like a weekly dose. (Not to mention DJE also renewed his wedding vows wearing a kilt of his family’s tartan… doubly hot.) I draw the line at those though… I think I have a thing for the protective authority figures.
Doctors, Chefs, UPS men… not so much. Oh, and any uniform that consists of a jumpsuit I just can’t find attractive in the least.
I look at uniforms (certain ones, obviously) the way I look at baseball hats… it just enhances a sexy man.
Seriously, who is that firefighter anyways, I can’t stop staring…
Nicole Jordan on 10 Nov 2007 at 8:04 pm #
I don’t get turned on at all by Army fatigues, since my dad and bro were career Army, lol. But dress uniforms are a different story!
And Navy whites are even better.
Sabrina Jeffries on 10 Nov 2007 at 8:15 pm #
Mia, no clue who the fireman is. The picture came up in a google search. I couldn’t find the original source, but it’s all over the internet, so there’s no telling.
Just put in the words “sexy fireman” on Google images, and you’ll get ALL the eye candy you could possibly want. If you go for firefighters, that is.
twolilhahas on 10 Nov 2007 at 9:05 pm #
I’ll go with the Post Office or UPS man uniforms. lol
anneriailin on 10 Nov 2007 at 9:12 pm #
I love uniforms. I love the Marine dress uniform. The RCMP uniforms are quite dashing also. Love the Smokey the Bear hats! But nothing beats a man in a flight suit, esp when he has a nice looking arse. That was the best part of living on an Air Force Base!
Gannon on 10 Nov 2007 at 10:07 pm #
Men in uniform–oh yeah! My dh just retired after 21 years as an officer in the Navy, and that dress white uniform (like Officer and A Gentleman), mmm mmm. He wore it at our wedding–just love it! I also loved him in his desert camo uniform. Very macho.
kim h on 12 Nov 2007 at 1:12 am #
yes yes. love the fireman and milatary.
sijam on 18 Dec 2007 at 9:08 pm #
Uniforms - oh yes. Saw a policeman today - motorcyle, I think. Black leather hip length jacket. Black leather boots.