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Mt. Oly Welcomes Kathryn Caskie!

Nov 8th 2007Karen Hawkins
Karen HawkinsOn Writing!

Please join the goddesses as we welcome the ahb-so-lute-ly mah-vah-lous Kathryn Caskie! In celebration, lovely goddess Julia London made Katherine a Goddess for a Day, via her own request.

1.jpgHere it is . . .

That Julia is plain magic with Photoshop, isn’t she?

Meanwhile, Kathryn’s next book, How to Propose to a Prince, comes out February 26th, and I, for one, will be standing in line at my faithful Waldens Books, to buy it the second it hits the shelves. Yes, my dears, it’s THAT good.

So now, offer a warm goddess welcome to Kathryn Caskie!


Nightmare Before Thanksgiving: Pantsers vs Plotters

It never fails. The holidays roll around and, yup, I have a deadline looming. My publisher needn’t worry though. My book isn’t going to suffer. Oh sure, my hair might start resembling Medusa’s slithering locks, and I might get a bit crazy-eyed from lack of sleep, but in the end my hero and heroine will live happily ever after.

2.jpgBut the turkey…well, when a deadline approaches—he is going to suffer. Big time. And sadly, so will anyone hoping to eat him. I used to think that a little forethought and planning could overcome any fated holiday horror, but now I know better.

In the writing world, we call people like me Pantsers (meaning we write by the seat of our pants– no synopsis, no character interviews, no chapter by chapter plan for the book.)

4.jpgPantsers tend not only to write this way, but live this way too. We wing it. ‘It’ meaning everything. So, on Thanksgiving, I know I will need a turkey, a couple of types of pies, stuffing, something with cranberries in it, and a few sides of veges. I go to the store the day before and hope that a fresh turkey is to be had. If not, I tell myself, I can always pop a frozen bird under a running shower to thaw. Probably work, right? And who would know, anyway?

Now my polar opposite would be a Plotter (meaning the author plots, plans, organizes and outlines most every aspect of her book.) I would venture to say that Plotters use shopping lists, but then, not being one, I don’t really know for sure. Thanksgiving would be planned, much like a book, well in advance. Nothing would be left to chance.

But Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving after all, and with that much family around, the potential for a holiday horror is still on the table.

Did I mention there is sort of hybrid out there? A breed of author who both wings their books (and life, if my theory is correct) and plots, plans and outlines as well. I call them pantiliners.

3.jpgLike with writing, on Thanksgiving there seems to be no clear advantage to being a pantser, plotter or pantiliner. My advice, handle Thanksgiving your way— but to be safe in case something doesn’t work out, be sure to add a side of good humor (or, in a pinch, an extra bottle or two of vino.)

Have a Thanksgiving or holiday horror to share? If so, come on—dish!

(Please identify yourself as a pantser, plotter or pantiliner for survey purposes. The Butterball Hotline might be interested. You never know.) The most amusing story, chosen by me, wins a signed copy of any book from my Featherton or Royle sisters backlist.

So come on, serve up your holiday horrors!

83 Comments »

83 Responses to “Mt. Oly Welcomes Kathryn Caskie!”

  1. Marie on 09 Nov 2007 at 2:26 am #

    I would be a pantiliner in writing the story never turns out the way I plot in fact the MC ran off with his girlfriend in my latest. Didn’t plan on that one.

    But in life I would be even more of a plotter. Christmas horror story. Hmm…well this is my best one. Not to tragic. My uncles are 2 years apart in age but everything else about them is polar opposite. One has been married to his high school sweetheart the other raised his kids on his own.

    We are the perfect family from the outside, but from the inside we are the most dysfunctional bunch you will ever meet. Well, they got in a fight in the living room where there were 12 grandkids opening presents. Next thing I know my new pen swiggly thing gets smashed.

    I burst into tears and the entire family goes after the uncles. Did I mention I’m the youngest. Hence they are way overprotective.

  2. Buffie on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:13 am #

    Hey Kathy!!!! ((big hugs)) It’s so good to see you over here.

    Since I don’t write, I’m neither! Ha — easy answer!! But I have to say that I can drive my hubby batty with my lists. I’m a list person. I have a list for everything. I can’t help, it’s just me :) I even have my grocery list on an Excel spreadsheet.

    My favorite Thanksgiving memory is when I was about 11 years old. My grandparents lived over 400 miles away, so I really didn’t get to see them very often. The day before Thanksgiving my parents decide we are going to surprise my grandparents and show up for Thanksgiving dinner. We drive all night long. We arrived at their house on Thanksgiving morning. I walked up to the door by myself and knocked. Both my grandparents answered the door and I asked “is there room for three more?”. My grandpa gave me the biggest hug ever and my grandma cried. It was great!

  3. Karen Hawkins on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:29 am #

    Hi Kathy! I’m a pantiliner. (I can’t believe I just wrote that!) I plot and do an outline, but give myself permission to change things. And I do. A lot. To the point that I have to rewrite my outline around page 250 just to keep using it for the book.

    As for Christmas, ah the stories I could tell! My mother made a turkey one year and it wasn’t completely unthawed and so parts of it were raw. Can you say Christmas Spaghetti? And then one year she realized she’d left the ‘inside things’ inside. Can you spell Christmas Chili?

    She always had a great sense of humor about it, though and taught us that it’s only a disaster if you let it be.

  4. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:07 am #

    Buffie, even if you don’t write, I have found that people usually fall into the pantser, plotter or pantiliner category. You have shopping lists on Excel spreadsheets? My dear Buffie, you are a Plotter!

    You story is so cute. It was a real life Hallmark Hall of Fame moment! Awwww.

    (Hmm, I see Buffie avatars don’t work way up on Mount Olympus.)

    Kathy

  5. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:16 am #

    I should fess up. My blog for today was waaaaaaaaay too long, so it was trimmed up to fit the grounds of Mount Olympus. Three Thanksgiving Horror Stories were set aside for now, but if the goddesses agree, will be added here in comments through out the day. They might help to inspire more stories.

    Karen, I have never heard of Thanksgiving spaghetti, but I am sure it trumps Thanksgiving Salmonella any day!

    PANTILINERS– This term was coined by dear friend, author Sophia Nash. And yes, she is a pantiliner.

    It’s early yet, but start sending those stories!

    Kathy, who loves her black sheath toga (but some Christian Louboutins would be great…the marble up here is freezing my tootsies–mean toes/feet–off!)

  6. Eleanor on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:27 am #

    My holidays are usually without too much drama but one memorable year my brother and I had the Thanksgiving dishes done (by hand, we didn’t have a dishwasher yet) and put away a half an hour after we sat down to eat! Since then I try very hard to start at least one conversation at the table so even if it’s just my family of three we are still seated and enjoying being together longer than that.

  7. Gannon on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:40 am #

    When I do write–which is not often enough–I’m definitely a pantser. Perhaps that’s why I don’t write as much as I should. Too much frustration. I do make grocery lists–not on Excel, Buffie!–and ‘to do’ lists, but not too often. Hmmm, I sense a pattern here.

    Karen H, I too, left the “things” as you call them, in the cavity of the turkey. Lovely, right! Oh well, it was many moons ago, and I haven’t done it since.

    I love all of the stories. Buffie, Kathy is right about yours. It is like a Hallmark moment. Very sweet.

    Kathy, perhaps the Goddesses can order up a pair of Christian Louboutins. A Guest Goddess should always be comfortable, and more importantly, have amazing shoes!

  8. cail on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:47 am #

    i’d be a plotter. i plan nearly everything.

    my holidays are typically very happy and drama free. everyone who hosts the holidays is an excellent chef and the food is always amazing. the one funny christmas story i have has to do with my grandparents.

    my grandpa is a somewhat spacey former professor, and has been absent minded all of his life. he’s been known to completely not recognize his own family on the street. one christmas, he was trying to wrap my grandma’s present, and came across a lovely christmas pattern in the closet. he proceeded to cut it up, and wrapped his present. on christmas eve, my grandmother was furiously looking for her christmas tablecloth, and was surprised to find it sitting under the tree engulfing presents.

    to this day, they still reuse the tablecloth wrapping cloth every christmas. i think it has been close to 20 or 30 years now.

  9. Karen Hawkins on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:56 am #

    Actually, I think Julia photo shopped some Keds onto your cute marble tootsies . . . But Christian Louboutins would be awesome with the black lace toga!

    Btw, when Julia first showed us her endeavor, we sent her back to the drawing board to add more flowers to cover the ah, finer aspects of your armless statuette. She protested, “This is censorship! Those aren’t even real, people!” to which we replied, “Yes, but she looks so COLD!”

    Teehee!

  10. Karen Rose on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:20 am #

    I’m a planner. My oldest daughter and I are on a 10 day college trek to explore potential colleges. Our intinerary (by moi) was 5 pages long. I sent abridged versions to those who wanted just the facts. My daughter just rolled her eyes at me and pointed out I’d even included time for snacks and to watch HEROES on Monday night but hadn’t given her time to go to the bathroom.

    Everybody’s a critic…

    Welcome Kathy!! Hope you have an amazing day on the blog and an event-free turkey this year.

  11. Keri Ford on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:21 am #

    I’m a pantiliner. And I LOVE that term! I write for the first fifty or so pages (I start with a character or a situation) and then I take a step back and see where I want to go. I don’t write out an outline or anything, just small notes here and there. I feel like if it goes down, it HAS to be written that way.

    Worst Holiday Horror would be Thanksgiving about 10 years ago. I was helping my grandma cook everything like I normally do. We were doing great…30 minutes to go and almost everything was finished. Pull the dressing out of the oven set it to the side and about a minute or so later, the glass container holding the dressing explodes.

    Both of them.

    There was dressing all over the floor, us, down the cracks between oven and countertops. It was a mess. Grandma grabs the vacuum cleaner and just starts sucking it up! Dressing, small glass peices, anything…

  12. Keri Ford on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:22 am #

    …LUCKILY, she’d made an extra batch that she’d planned on freezing and eating on here and there. After all that happened, the extra went in the oven for a quick heat and we were sitting down at the table right on time.

  13. doglady on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:43 am #

    Hello Kathy!! I hope you got to read the story of how I got my autographed book from you when my bookseller met you at a big book event in New York. It was just so special to me as I am a big fan. Hmm. My current, very first ever WIP I started out as a pantser, but as the Golden Heart deadline looms I plotted out the rest of it. For the most part the characters push me around when it comes to the story. Do your characters ever do that to you? My very first Thanksgiving as a married lady I made lists, I read cookbooks, I planned menus, it was all going to be so perfect. It very nearly was until my hubby cut into the turkey and the bag full of all the extra stuff shot out of the turkey’s rear end, across the table and landed on my mother-in-law’s lap!! Who knew they stuffed the turkey with his own innards before you got him?? She never liked me, still doesn’t. I never see her, which is NOT a bad thing!Our favorite family Christmas story is when my then 3 year old brother shot our father

  14. doglady on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:45 am #

    right between the eyes with the stopper gun from his Batman utility belt (1967.)It knocked my father out cold and poor Brian became hysterical because he thought he had killed our Dad. Poor Dad had a big red circle on his forehead for several days.

  15. Julia London on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:46 am #

    No kidding, Kathryn. You had a great rack, and they made me cover it up!
    I am a plotter in books and I guess one in life, too. I plan it out well in advance–the moment Turkey Day comes up, I am johnny on the spot and sign up to bring bread units.

    I am not a good cook. I don’t even want to try. I just want to bring rolls. Oh, and booze.

  16. Michellynn on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:48 am #

    No question, I’m a plotter. Without Excel I would have panic attacks. LOL

    In any event, my Thanksgiving horror story happened last year. It was the first year DH and I were in our new house and we had both sides of the family over (about 25 people). It started off with my DH’s brother unexpectedly bringing one of his new garage mechanic employees (recently released from prison) along to the gathering (I’m horrible, but I started taking a mental inventory of everything that was sitting out on tables and around the house). It then came to a lovely crescendo with the first floor toilet clogging (no one told us until we saw water on the floor outside the closed door), that overflowed to the point that it leaked through to the finished basement below (ruined ceiling tiles AND a nasty spot on the carpet in the basement). Then everyone started using the bathrooms upstairs and randomly roaming from room to room to check out the new house and I found dishes/glasses, napkins everywhere

  17. Michellynn on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:49 am #

    ..it almost felt like I was cleaning up after a frat party more than from having the families over for a holiday. So, maybe not horrific….but it was a bit appalling.

  18. Julia London on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:14 am #

    Michellyn, ohmigod, that is a turkey day from hell!

    My family has a house in Taos, way up in the mountains. ONe Thanksgiving we were without septic tank. Another thanksgiving, we were without butane. But we find if you drink enough anything is survivable.

  19. SnikWhite on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:14 am #

    I am definitely a pantiliner! haha that is a fantastic term, which I plan to use in the future, with your permission of course.

    The most memorable thanksgiving moment I’ve ever shared was with my family. There were 22 of us in attendance for this particular meal. (this is just my parents, grandparents, 6 siblings, spouses and children) My brother and I decide at the beginning of the meal to have a little fun and make everyone weigh in. Our thought was to make it a contest to see who would gain the most weight by the end of the meal. We never thought out what byproducts could come of this, cause and effect were apparently beyond us. However, by the end of the very noisy dinner (laughs and gas haha GROSS) we were told by our grandparents that they would never come back unless we took etiquette classes. So apparently the only horror was theirs!!

    For Christmas, I bought Enily Post books for everyone.

  20. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:24 am #

    Doglady, I remember signing that book for your bookseller friend–for you! So, whenyou sell, you will let me know so we can celebrate, right?

    Kathy

  21. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:26 am #

    I am SO a Pantiliner…and unfortunately, not the slim kind with wings. No, I am more the huge one, circa 1950, that needs a belt to keep it in place

    I have so many holiday disasters to choose from, I finally settled on sharing the very first one that mattered to me. My husband and I had just gotten engaged and I decided to showcase my talents to the future in-laws. I invited everyone to my apartment for thanksgiving. It didn’t even bother me that I had also promised to baby-sit my friend’s St. Bernard, Jesse that day.

    Well being a small, FIRST, apartment, a lot of my furniture was “hand me downs” from people cleaning out their garages. There was, however, a lovely wicker chair that I purchased at Woolworth’s for ten bucks.

    To make a long story monotonous, In the middle of dinner, the seat of the wicker chair broke through, pinning my future mother in law in a very unflattering position. (Picture falling into a toilet with only your arms and legs sticking out)

    That would be horrible enough right? Not in MY world.

    Jesse, the dog, had a nasty habit of turning over laundry hampers. So after we free the mother-in-law from her impalement, and I serve homemade pumpkin pie, Jesse started retching right in the middle of the room. Without thinking, my future hubby said, “Oh poor Jesse must have eaten something bad.”

    That’s when that damn dog decided to cough up my rainbow striped panties.

    Gobble, Gobble, indeed!

  22. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:27 am #

    Now, if you scroll up and see the bikini clad picture of turkey, here is why. I present a Pantser’s Thanksgiving Horror.

    Most every year, my parents have the whole family over for Thanksgiving dinner. This is my safeguard. Still, my kids always want turkey the next day, so I usually present “Thanksgiving, the encore”. So predictable…and boring. So, a couple of years ago, I decided to cut out a few pieces of aluminum foil and roast a “bikini turkey.” A little Paprika added at basting time, and you end up with a tan bikini-clad bird (or so the recipe on the internet said.) And it worked! I pulled the turkey out of the oven and set it on the counter while I carried everything else out to the table, giggling to myself about the surprise I was about to serve. But when I came back into get the turkey, it was on the floor, and my two Border Collies were in the process of wolfing it down. Don’t ask about the aftereffects of mass amounts of paprika-dusted turkey on two dogs.

  23. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:29 am #

    Welcome Kathyrn,

    I am a pantiliner! Not only did I want to claim that title, but it truly applies. I long to be a plotter, but as Popeye says, “Iyam what Iyam!”

    I want to win your book, so I will be back with an amusing story, sadly, I have many to choose from

  24. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:35 am #

    Welcome Kathryn. Love the black sheath. Is it Christian LaCroix?

    Shame on you, Karen Hawkins for making Juzie cover up the “girls.” Nobody threw flowers all over your see through blouse, now did they? LOL

  25. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:39 am #

    I never considered that massive amounts of paprika dusted turkey could have the same aftereffects as my rainbow striped panties. Kathryn, we are truly members of the same sisterhood.

    You’re in charge of the secret handshake.

  26. Buffie on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:43 am #

    Kathy — no the manatars don’t work way up here on Mt. Oly :(

    Seems like everyone has a holiday cooking disaster story. Here’s mine. The hubby and I just found out we were expecting our first child. We had bought really cute baby picture frames and gave them to my parents, my sister, and my hubby’s parents. My mom and my sister did what I expected them to do — cry! Now, when we made it to my in-laws I didn’t know what to expect from the MIL. She had been bugging us for some time to start a family (we waiting 7 years to do so). Well, she opens up the picture frame and just stares, mouth wide open, eyes even wider. Finally she asks if it’s a joke. I shake my head no and tell her that her first grandchild is getting hungry. She jumps up and pops the ham into the oven. Before long we start to smell burning plastic. She had put the entire ham into the over — not bothering to remove the plastic wrapping :) After that she called everyone in the church!

  27. Buffie on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:45 am #

    Figures that Sophia came up with pantiliners!! That girl :)

  28. Mia Rose on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:57 am #

    … except my father in law didn’t make it to their bathroom and instead managed to ruin their newly installed, almost white, fluffy carpet, complete with a memory foam pad with dark red port. They ended up having to replace that section. And he couldn’t drink Port for the longest time.
    :D I’ll never forget that Thanksgiving dinner.

  29. Mia Rose on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:58 am #

    oh no! my first comment disappeared!
    *sigh*
    at least you know the ending of my story…

  30. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:06 am #

    LOL…That was priceless Mia. Regardless of the start, the ending speaks for itself!

  31. Michellynn on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:17 am #

    Julia, wow…no septic..I’m assuming the woods received a little more traffic than usual. LOL

    Kathryn, ack! I have to admit though, I never realized you could actually do that bikini turkey trick. Sorry to hear the hard work went…well, to the dogs (ok, bad joke…sorry).

    Buffie, that is a great story! I mean, sad that the ham was caramelized with plastic…but touching that your MIL was so moved she lost track of what she was doing.

  32. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:33 am #

    Cail, I love your story. Even though you grandmother must have been furious at first, I am sure every time she (and everyone else in your family) sees the wrapping she smiles.

    And Julie, “flowering” me was a good idea. I nursed two kids and the girls aren’t quite where they once were–or even where they appear to be (with the help of Victoria’s Secret).

    Ellen, your post totally cracked me up. That is why it is imperative to serve lots of wine with Thanksgiving dinner. Even if a dog hurls up rainbow bikini knickers, no one with care (or remember–if you quickly top off their glass.)

  33. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:42 am #

    Oh, if anyone is considering roasting a bikini turkey this year, here is a trick they don’t tell you about this on the internet!. You know those long needles that come with the kitchen string (I have no idea what its really called) that you can use in to tie the turkey legs and wings so the bird cooks evenly? Well, the bikini foil kept falling off, so I used those needle things to keep the bikini firmly in place on the turkey. Worked like a charm!

  34. elsiehogarth on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:43 am #

    Welcome Kathryn! Love you.

    I am a plotter…right now I am going through cookbooks to see what ideas I can get…my Mother has 6 sisters and we all get together, in the kitchen, to cook while the MEN are watching Football, Sports Channel, ESPN 1, 2 etc.. My stories are too long and I have many but all I can say is that there is a lot of laughter and drinking going on whenever we all get together to do Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners.

  35. Mia Rose on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:44 am #

    I guess I should at least put in the fact that my father in law only manged to get so so sick because were playing drinking games and 3 of us decided for some reason to play the games while drinking port and red wine.
    Not recommended.

  36. anneriailin on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:09 pm #

    I’m a Pantser in most ways. The only way I am a Plotter is on long trips. I’ll try to make the story short as to why I will always make reservations when I travel. The EX and I were driving cross country with our boys, ages 9 and 6 at the time. He decides we don’t need to make motel reservations and we head across WA state. It’s Aug 22nd and who expects it to snow, right? But as we cross the continental divide in Idaho, it starts snowing, bad. We get to where we had planned to stay and there isn’t a room to be had anywhere. Why, you ask? Because it had snowed so bad that they’d closed a park nearby and everyone had had to find other accomodations. There was not a hotel/motel to be had in the state of Montana! We ended up sleeping in the car in a rest area for a few hours. Thank goodness the kids had their sleeping bags. From then on, I always made travel arrangements, regardless of what the EX said! Sorry, I didn’t have a bad Thanksgiving story to tell.

  37. Kim on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:39 pm #

    Welcome to the Mt, Kathy!!!

    Well, I love to say I’m a plotter (in life, not writing.) I make plans, write extensive lists, plot out strict timelines, etc. Then life throws a monkey wrench to my plans and I pull something out of my *ahem* at the last minute. Yes, that is the secret to my success. LOL Please tell me that doesn’t make me a pantiliner.

    T-giving horror stories. Oh, too many to list. One year, my mom wanted us to eat with her. Since my mom cooks meat until it surrenders like General Lee I insisted on cooking the turkey. BUT I told my mom if either one of my brothers showed up I was pulling that bird outta the oven and leaving.

    Then there was the year when we were growing up and feed the dog turkey off my mom’s wedding china.

  38. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:46 pm #

    Well after reviewing the above disasters that have befallen my fellow goddesses, I know I do not have the best one. No, no dog yakked up my panties (a problem Britney Spears will never know) and no one cooked the plastic covered ham. It just seems I can’t trust my husband to carry anything.

    One Christmas, I offered to make the “main course” for my husband’s family’s celebration. I was to make lasagne. I started with a giant pot of homemade sauce with about $40.00 worth of meat inside. At the time we were very tight on cash. I was also very tight on time as I had a 1 and 3 year old and a workaholic husband. But anyway, I made the sauce, it was delicious, and made 2 large trays of lasagne to bring to my in-laws. I wrapped all the presents, dressed my kids in their little Christmas outfits, and readied myself. My husband had one job, to take the lasagne to the car. He brought out the first tray and managed to dump it in the snow. I couldn’t believe it!

  39. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:48 pm #

    But still, there was the other tray, which would surely be big enough. He got it in the car and we drove to his mothers house. Upon getting out of the car, he dumped it INSIDE the car! I wanted to kill him. That was the Christmas we had lots of salads, and desserts, and no main course!

    Several years later, I offered to make a Turkey for the church harvest dinner. I bought it, cleaned it, seasoned it, stuffed it, baked it, sliced it, and put it on a platter….guess who dumped it in the parking lot on the way into the church?

  40. Kim on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    Note to LisaH: get your DH those mechanix gloves that have sticky stuff on them *g*

  41. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:56 pm #

    My postings are not going thru…oh well will try later

  42. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:57 pm #

    Hey that one worked. Let me try again with the other.

  43. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:59 pm #

    It’s a bit ironic that you suggest drinking as the antidote to a spoiled holiday. Without going into a long drawn out description of what I am like on six glasses of wine and a champagne toast….well let’s just say that there is footage out there of me singing “Silent Night” while dancing like Tom Jones. nuff said.

    And now that you mentioned nursing your babies, I understand why the flowers go practically to your knees. LOL The last chest pain I had turned out to be sprained knee.

    (You DID say that “behaving” was optional)

  44. Elizabeth Boyle on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:16 pm #

    I absolutely adore Thanksgiving and consider it “my” holiday. I start compiling my menu the beginning of November, and any new recipes get tried out and fine tuned before the big day. I channel Martha all month. I’ve even been know to cook a turkey the first week in November just to test run it all. Needless to say, I am a huge proponent of getting as much as possible done ahead of time, to make the actual cooking on Thanksgiving smooth sailing. In fact, I take such pride in my pre-planning and careful shopping that I was for years a huge snob about people who have to shop, oh, horrors, on the Wednesday before, or even worse on Thanksgiving. That is until the year I had everything planned out, all the dishes lined up and all that really needed to be done was to roast the turkey. I mean timing a perfect Thanksgiving meal is everything . . .

  45. Elizabeth Boyle on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:18 pm #

    . . . And that year I had shopped and researched turkeys and bought this very expensive fresh turkey at the grocery store and opened the package on Thanksgiving morning only to discover the bird was bad. I mean rotten. The stench when I pulled back that wrapper was awful. I had to wrap it back up and put it in a garbage bag. Actually two garbage bags. So there I was at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning, frantically trying to find the most thawed turkey in the freezer section with all the other last minute Charlies. Needless to say, I’ve been a little more tolerant and a big fan of Butterball ever since. Oh, and dinner was late that year, and my family has never stopped teasing me for that one Thanksgiving. And yes, I am a planner.

  46. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:29 pm #

    Ya think???

  47. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:39 pm #

    Elizabeth - and I mean no disrespect- you sound a little like Brie from Desperate Housewives!

  48. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:43 pm #

    Yes, let’s talk about nursing our babies, I have nursed children all together for over six years…my breasts look like once filled balloons that have been leaking for centuries. It’s so not fair, as if the stretch marks and added pounds weren’t enough!

    When I think of all the money we saved on formula, I think it would be fair to use it to give old Maize a boob job.

    And wasn’t Karen H the one who wouldn’t let Judy post the pictures of cowboys wearing just chaps…hmmm

  49. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:45 pm #

    Kim - you are not kidding! LOL

  50. twolilhahas on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:49 pm #

    It’s like when they say, “They come, they eat, they leave,” on A Bug’s Life. I’ve always managed to be one of the “they” on Thanksgiving. So, I have no cooking horror stories to share. I don’t really remember and showing up horror stories either.

    I’m really kind of bummed about this Thanksgiving because my grandparents are in the nursing home this year. We usually go to their house and have our Thanksgiving together. But, I am LOVING all the T-giving stories on here. It’s almost getting me in the holiday spirit. :)

  51. twolilhahas on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:55 pm #

    Lisa H, I have the dreaded post-breastfeeding boobs, too. My youngest daughter stopped nursing almost two years ago and my boobs are only now starting to get a little back to normal. The stretchmarks will never go away, of course, but a little fat is coming back finally! lol Between my two girls I breastfed for about 5 years all together with only a short break for pregnancy in there.

  52. MarthaH on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:58 pm #

    Well, after reading these posts - I have deep sympathy over the disasters and others I just LOL.

    I have 2 humorous stories to share. But for the interest of space - I’ll share this one.

    Way back when - my Brother in Law (who was single) decided he would host his first Thanksgiving dinner for the family - we all arrived at the appropriate time - the cooking turkey smelled fabulous - we were quite impressed. When asked when dinner would be ready - he replied - “not until the red light comes on”…OK now we kinda look at each other and question “red light??” upon which he mentions that on the TV commercials - the butterball turkey is done when the pin comes out and it lights up red and while the pin is out it’s not red! After we all picked ourselves up off the floor from laughing so hard -we explained that the “red light” was used by the TV commercial to emphasize the pin.

    Needless to say, my B-I-L has never had Thanksgiving since. He can’t stand all the bad jokes

  53. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 1:58 pm #

    It is amazing what our bodies go through during pregnancy and nursing…it really is miraculous when you think about it!

  54. Elizabeth Boyle on 09 Nov 2007 at 2:08 pm #

    Lisa H—

    I had the same lasagna experience–but worse, on a date. I made this really expensive, entirely homemade lasagna to impress this guy when I was young and foolish, and just as I was pulling it out of the oven, with all the Martha florish I could muster, I ended up flipping it upside down on the floor. But the guy that I wanted to impress was just so cool–he picked up a fork, and said, “Where do we start!”

  55. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 2:13 pm #

    There is something to be said for a man who will eat off the floor! :)

  56. Ellen sans flowers on 09 Nov 2007 at 2:20 pm #

    “Oh baby…stick your fork in me cuz I’m done!”

  57. Sabrina Jeffries on 09 Nov 2007 at 3:44 pm #

    Welcome to Mt. Oly, Kathryn! Great to have you here.

    I’m a pantiliner–I plot very nicely, then write and revise, write and revise to find my characters, then change things as I go. In life, I’m a pantiliner, too, in that I always forget something in my plan. Always. I’ve become a very good improviser!

    I have no disastrous Thanksgiving experiences. Honestly, I can’t think of a single one.

    Because me and my family save all of them up for Christmas. THAT, I have. It’s just one long litany of Christmas disasters–a Christmas tree falling on top of us in the middle of Christmas dinner, my brother getting violently ill, one of my other brother’s having his present stolen at a church gathering, the goose that I cooked and cooked and finally had to serve just the done parts of because it WOULDN’T COOK! Hmm, there are many others, but for some reason they never happen at Thanksgiving. Go figure.

  58. Nicole Jordan on 09 Nov 2007 at 3:46 pm #

    Welcome, Kathryn! I think you make a great Goddess, with or without the extra flowers covering up your bosoms. Julia is pretty shameless about fashion sometimes, but she is a wiz with PhotoShop!

    I’m abolutely 10000% a plotter. It’s the part I love most about writing. I also hate revising, so I’d much rather figure out stuff before I write pages that I have to throw away.

    And I love love love lists. Couldn’t function without them. Since my dh and I are both civil engineers, we’re pretty anal about planning. Years ago, he even came up with a critical path schedule (a CE term) for Tgiving Day dinner preparation, and we use it to this day. (I can see you pansters rolling your eyes in disgust at me.)

    So now you have to tell us about your new book, Kathryn! How to Propose to a Prince sounds delightful!

    NicoleJ

  59. SuzyQ on 09 Nov 2007 at 3:47 pm #

    Welcome Kathryn! You got your black toga thanks to Julia!

    I am a pantiliner. I make lists for the grocery store only because if I don’t I will forget to buy things I need.

    Every year for Thanksgiving we go to my sisters house where everyone chips in and brings something. My mom always cooks the turkey, but last year the men decided they would do it - deep fried. Well, after drinking beer and roasting chestnuts they finally decide to put the bird in. Half and hour later they bring it in to carve. Now mind you, all the women are telling them we don’t think it’s done yet, but they would not hear it. So of course, they bring the bird carved to the table - and it’s totally pink. I mean too pink. Raw is a better word. Well, my Mom (who lives next door) saved the day! She cooked a turkey in her oven because she didn’t trust the guys would pull it off. Boy was she ever right!

  60. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 3:55 pm #

    SnikeWhite~ Okay, everyone weighed in, but here is the big question…did they have to admit how much they weighed? Because I am certain I would have lied, and then every would wonder how I managed to eat 25 pounds of turkey.

    Buffie~ Knowing how we all try so hard (at least at the beginning of marriage!) to please our mother in law. Did you go ahead and eat the plastic-ham?

    Mia Rose~ Kathy’s Note to Self: Never EVER serve port at Thanksgiving.

    Elsie~ Hi Elsie!!! I am so glad you are here. It has been too long!

    Kathy

  61. Ronlyn on 09 Nov 2007 at 3:57 pm #

    I am a pantyliner who aspires to be a plotter. LOL.
    I’ve been trying to think of the best Thanksgiving story to share…there are so many. LOL. Lets see, there was the year that the oven died in the middle of making dinner. That was fun.
    Or the year that the sink blew up in the midst of dinner prep. Actually, I think it was the disposal that blew, but 3 of us were covered head to toe in potatoe peels and things I’d rather not think about. Crazy.
    Or that year in college where all of us that didn’t go home decided to do a pot luck. We had a whole sign up sheet and everyone was thrilled to bring whatever we could. We all got to the house and realized that no one brought a turkey.
    My personal fav though would be the year that I decided that I was NOT going to clean up from dinner while the guys watched football. (I was the only woman that year. My one cousin was still single, the other had just gone through a divorice and then there was my DH.) My aunt was working.

  62. Ronlyn on 09 Nov 2007 at 4:00 pm #

    so, once dinner was over the guys all helped clear the table and migrated into the livingroom to watch TV. I wrote a ransom note for the picture tube of the TV that I had removed and left it with all the dirty dishes and headed into the bathroom to take a bath with a book and a bottle of wine. :) (The picture tube was in the bathroom with me.) About 45 min. later my DH knocked on the door asking if I was willing to give up the picture tube yet. My kitchen was SPOTLESS. I’ve never seen it so clean. LOL.

  63. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 4:01 pm #

    I want to be Elizabeth Boyle. Not just because she is a fab author (and I have read every one of her books), or because she married a hero who totally gets this writing thing (find this story on your website–it will make you cry), but because I want to be organized! When a few years ago, Elizabeth recommended the Fly Ladies website, I rushed over, and even ordered the book. Sadly, to make all their plan work, you need to have your kitchen sink sparkling clean all the time. I tried, really I did, but for some reason the sink just doesn’t look right with a coffee cup or two in it.

    Thank you for sharing your story, Elizbo. And yes, I am one of those last minute Charlies (actually my mother has ALWAYS called me Last Minute Lizzie) who shop on the Wednesday before.
    Kathy

  64. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 4:20 pm #

    Okay, here is a little bit about my next book- How to Propose to a Prince. It’s the last book in a series for Avon about three sisters who may or may not be the secret daughters of the Prince of Wales. Yes, you actually find out! There is sneak peek on my website if you want an early read. Enter the contest while you are there for a chance to win a signed set of my Featherton sisters series, and a signed copy of Samantha James’s latest book! http://www.KathrynCaskie.com

    Ah, Ronlyn~ You are inspirational. Except I think stealing the remotes (yes, even the back-up remote) will work. After Thanksgiving dinner I can’t imagine any of the men actually getting up to turn on the television or change the channel to find the Redskins/Cowboys game.

    Geez. Just noticed it’s raining and the dogs are outside. Can’t wait for whiff of that wet dog smell. Argh.

  65. Ronlyn on 09 Nov 2007 at 4:30 pm #

    LOL…yeah, stealing the remotes might have worked, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I REALLY wanted them to clean the kitchen. :P

  66. twolilhahas on 09 Nov 2007 at 5:18 pm #

    This is off topic, but there was a blog a while back about putting celebs together. I saw this article, http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20159461,00.html, and can’t help but want George Clooney to get with Reneé Zellweger. They’re so cute together and the article makes them sound like soul mates. Sigh*

  67. ladydawgfan on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:10 pm #

    I’ve been chuckling all along while reading this thread, but Ronlyn’s entry made me LOL!! A ransom note for the picture tube??? BRILLIANT!!!!

    As for my own holiday horror story, it’s not really “horror,” as much as it is funny. If you have ever seen the Griswold Christmas movie and the turkey explosion, you now have a picture of what happens when you cook a turkey with too MUCH moisture. It doesn’t like to stay on its bones!! So there we were, having pulled the turkey from the oven, the platter on the counter next to the pan. The turkey forks went into the turkey and the whole thing sort of collapsed. When I tried to lift it, the legs and wings fell off and plopped back in to the pan. Okay, fine, I’ll set the rest of it on the platter, except that as soon as I did, the breast slid OFF of the bones! Most landed on the counter, some I caught before it hit the floor, and some managed to stay on the platter.

    Cont.

  68. ladydawgfan on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:16 pm #

    Cont.

    So what we ended up with was a pile of white meat turkey, two bedraggled legs, a couple of soggy wings, and a boney carcass full of turkey stuffing. There wasn’t a whole lot of meat left clinging to the bones. ‘Ol Martha Stewart would have passed out cold looking at that mess. We just laughed and ate (what else are you going to do?).

    You know that commercial where they bring that perfect turkey to the table and everyone’s eyes light up?? Well that sucker’s PLASTIC, ’cause a real turkey don’t look like that when it gets cooked for real!!!

    BTW, I’m a plotter more than a pantiliner. And welcome to Mount O, Kathryn. Can’t wait to read your next one!!

  69. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:39 pm #

    Sabrina, I hate to say this but…admitting no Thanksgiving mishaps might have jinxed you.

    To be safe, maybe a Critical Path plan for Thanksgiving from Nicole might be in order.

    For all of us!

    Just in case.

    Kathy

  70. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:45 pm #

    Ladydawgfan~ You mean turkey isn’t supposed to just fall off the carcass? That’s what my mother’s turkey does. Every Thanksgiving. That is why gravy is VERY, VERY important.

    Once the button on the Butterball starts glowing red (wink to Martha H), it’s done, right? And the meat starts leaping from the bones…..

    Kathy

  71. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 7:53 pm #

    You know you’re a Plotter when….

    Suzy, you might be pantiliner, but if your mother cooked a turkey…just in case…I am betting she’s a plotter type.

    Kathy, raising a cyber goblet of nectar of the gods to congratulate Suzy–author of one the Publisher’s Weekly best books of the year

  72. twolilhahas on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:00 pm #

    I guess I’m a pantser. I used to try to do the planning thing, but find that I cannot do it now to save my life. It must be some form of mom rebellion, but if I make a plan for something, I end up going 100% against my plan. I can plan as far as, “Okay, we’ll go to the ______ Sunday.” Everything else is left up to chance and circumstances.

  73. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:34 pm #

    I haven’t laughed so much blogging as I have today. So there will be three prizes tonight. I am choosing the first winner now. Then two more later tonight.

    PRIZE #1 (choose any book from my Featherton or Royle sisters backlist)

    Ellen (sans flowers) wins the first prize for dog chucking up rainbow panties in front of mother-in-law.”

    Still two more prizes…and a bunch of hilarious stories, but if you have a Thanksgiving Horror, dish it while its hot. There is still time.

  74. Sophia Nash on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:56 pm #

    Yup, Buffie, I came up with the term “pantiliner” the day I ran screaming out of two back to back RWA workshops - one for plotters which had alot of GMC verbiage I could not get, and the second about starting to write without an outline. And I thought, “I can’t be a pantser or an outliner.” Put I stayed in the closet a long time. I mean, really, who wants to admit they are a pantiliner?

    All right. So. Kathryn Caskie asked me to relate an amusing Thanksgiving tale my family fondly recalls each year. And since she had to cut SOMETHING since her post was too long . . .of course, she cut MY part. OK, she cut my part AND Elizabeth Boyle’s story. Not that we minded. Just because I spent TWENTY long, agonizing minutes trying to amuse her…Oh all right. Here is the silly story:

    Things always tend to catapult into a disaster when I try to be ultra-organized. One memorable Thanksgiving unfolded when I rationalized I could not feed a large family gathering by myself without losing Things a

  75. doglady on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:59 pm #

    Kathy, you are absolutely on for that celebration!! You will be right up there on the list of people I get in touch with after they pick me up off the floor. Saw my bookseller buddy, Tammy, today. She said tell you “Hello!” Ellen, your dog and my turkey butt should get together for mother-in-law tag team eliminations! The best part about reading all of these after week is that I feel much better about my day AND I feel much better about my culinary artistic ability, or lack thereof!

  76. Sophia Nash on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:00 pm #

    cont: without losing my mind. So I sent around a request for everyone to bring a dish - blithely suggesting so-and-so bring vegetables, salads, appetizers, etc. I reserved the job of baby-sitting and basting a 25 pound bird for moi.
    Everyone chirped back that they’d love to help.
    Everyone arrived with store bought pumpkin pie.
    They all laughed and said they completely ignored my well-organized division of duties. (Why was this such a surprise to me? No one in my family follows orders.) And then there was my dearest, beloved father who arrived with his favorite recipe: water steak. Yes, just throw a nice juicy steak into an inch of boiling water and flip it once. It really is divine. It looks just like gray whale blubber - and surely just as chewy.I’ve now returned to doing everything myself. I’m very good at following my own orders. Kinda.

  77. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:41 pm #

    Prize # 2 Cail

    Your Hallmark moment was memorable. One of those teary eyed moments. I wish everyone a memory like the holiday tablecloth wrapping.

    Kathy, figuring out the contact portion of the awards. Goddesses, any suggestions?

  78. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:43 pm #

    Have to say, when Sophia told me about the “water steak” I thought she was going to tell me that after boiling the steak, save the water and add vodka. Whale blubber sounds far perferable.

    Kathy

  79. Lisa H on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:50 pm #

    Oh my goodness! I just went to Elizabeth Boyle’s web site and read about “her favorite hero” who just happens to be her husband. What a beautiful story. Everyone must read it.

    Thanks for the recommendation, Kathryn! Looking forward to reading your new one and some of Elizabeth’s!

  80. Kathryn Caskie on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:27 pm #

    Since I have to get up very early tomorrow to drive into Maryland, I am going to announce the third and final winner of a signed copy of a book from my Featherton or Royle sisters backlist.

    Those books include:

    The Royle Sisters backlist~ How to Engage an Earl, How to Seduce a Duke (be sure to look for How to Propose to a Prince on Feb. 26th!)

    The Featherton Sisters quartet backlist~ Rules of Engagement, Lady in Waiting, A Lady’s Guide to Rakes, and Love Is in the Heir.

    WINNERS: Ellen sans flowers, Cail and….

    Prize #3: DogLady~ for your Batman Utility Belt story

    I will contact the winners through The Goddess Blogs for your snail mail addresses, your book selection and for how you would like them inscribed.

    Curtsies to the goddesses for inviting me to visit Mount Olympus and for my poppin’ black toga and tennis shoes.

    Thank you all for your stories and a day of hilarious horrors. Wishing you a stress-free Thanksgiving.

    Cheers!
    Kathryn Caskie

  81. Ellen sans flowers on 11 Nov 2007 at 4:27 pm #

    Kathryn…Thank you so much. Please come again.

    And thank you Jesse, the panty gulping St. Bernard.

  82. cail on 11 Nov 2007 at 8:13 pm #

    Thanks Kathryn!!

  83. Elizabeth Boyle on 12 Nov 2007 at 8:24 pm #

    Oh, Sophia, that sounds like my husband’s family! If you asked them to bring something for dinner, they will all bring the exact same thing they picked up in the first aisle of the grocery store! So I have plenty of Tic Tacs, thank you very much. One Thanksgiving, we were there and my MIL ended up going to the hospital with 105 fever the morning of thanksgiving. And there was panic all over, WHO was going to cook without Mom??? So they all turned to me, hugely pregnant with my first and I had to step in and cook the entire thing at the last minute–because, if I hadn’t, well frankly, hot water from the microwave is darned hard to carve! But the DH (who as Kathryn said, is a real hero) helped immensely. The funny part was my MIL, being carted off and half delirious, was still calling out orders for how to cook HER thanksgiving dinner as my FIL drove her down the driveway. My husband asked me if I was listening, and I just smiled and waved.