The Buddy to Boyfriend Phenomenon
Oct 27th 2007
Sabrina JeffriesOn Writing!
When I was sixteen, a guy I’d considered just a “buddy” for four years asked me to the Junior-Senior prom. I’d never thought of him romantically, but what the hey, it was the prom, right? Once he got me to agree to that, he decided to push his luck and ask me out to see Romeo and Juliet the week before the prom (boy, was he priming me). We went and it turned out very … well, romantic. Lo and behold, my “buddy” was quite the dashing young fellow, and I hadn’t even noticed.
Although we only dated a few months (we were freaking sixteen, remember?), we fell madly in puppy love … at least until my family moved away. That began my lifelong enjoyment of “buddy to boyfriend” stories. It’s probably why I love Jane Austen’s Emma so much that being asked to write the afterword for the upcoming Signet Classics edition put me in a state of terror and ecstasy (and I kid you not, that pink thing to the right is indeed the new cover). It’s almost certainly why I adore the movie Sabrina (but you knew that, right?), and why I salivated over Goddess Karen Hawkins’s story in the first Lady Whistledown anthology. I can’t help it—I enjoy reading about friends turned into lovers.
Do you like those stories, too—the ones where the heroine suddenly goes, “Huh, he’s a hottie. Who knew?” Or is there another theme that really lights your fire: marriage of convenience, reunion stories, spies, older woman/younger man, tutor/apprentice, guardian/ward? If so, what are your favorites in the type? And have you ever had your own friend-turned-lover romance?
32 Comments »
32 Responses to “The Buddy to Boyfriend Phenomenon”
Lisa H on 27 Oct 2007 at 3:39 am #
Sabrina,
I love all the romantic themes you listed in your blog, but I think my favorite is something you might call Somersby-esque
In the movie Somersby with Richard Gere and Jodi Foster, Jodi’s husband has been gone for years, suddenly he returns and instead of being a jerk like he was before, he is a wonderful caring man. Is it truly the husband who left, or someone else? Throughout the movie, we are kept guessing until the end when when****spoiler**** we find out it isn’t him at all.
A couple books I recently read have that theme “Stranger in my Arms” by Lisa Kleypas
and “Lost in Your Arms” by Christina Dodd
Lisa H on 27 Oct 2007 at 3:41 am #
I also like the “Beauty and the Beast” theme.
A Rose in Winter by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss
Fairest of them All by Teresa Medieros
Lisa H on 27 Oct 2007 at 3:43 am #
Oh—and since you love Sabrina, you might like “In My Wildest Dreams” by Christiana Dodd.
I too love Sabrina and Cinderella stories. “Sugar Daddy” by Lisa Kleypas was such a great one too.
Sorry for hogging the blog!
DebMarlowe on 27 Oct 2007 at 7:50 am #
Oh, Sabrina! You know I am so with you on those friends to lovers stories! I confess I had a friendship in high school/college that might have turned romantic, but circumstances (and a fear of losing each other permanently) keep the fire turned down to a simmer.
I love that scenario so much–I love the idea of all that desire churning for so long before it breaks free! Or the surprise when one of the characters discovers it for the first time. Emma and Sabrina are both so satisfying in that regard.
And, I have to say my first book, Scandalous Lord, Rebellious Miss, is a reunion, best friends to lovers story. Forgive me for pimping, Goddesses, but it comes out in the UK in only days–so I’m so excited! Have to wait for February for it to be available here.
doglady on 27 Oct 2007 at 8:23 am #
Shoot, Deb! FEBRUARY???? SO unfair! I may just have to write to some of my English buddies and get a copy!! I am SO excited for you!!
I loved Karen’s story in the Whistledown anthology too, Lisa.
Actually my husband and I started out as friends. I dated his best friend for a year and Roger was always around. After Harold and I broke up, Roger asked him if he minded if he asked me out. Harold said “Go for it!” The rest is history.
I also love the younger man, older woman stories. Hey, I AM an older woman. Sue me! I was two years older than my hubby.
Beauty and the Beast stories are great too.
I think as long as the story is well-written and full of heart, they’re winners!
Ava on 27 Oct 2007 at 8:24 am #
Hello,
I actually had a friend turned lover, we’ve been together 5 years. Planning to get married. It’s wonderful. Although, I have to say, a lot of people dislike this because we’ve always been together. I can hear my mother, ‘but you’ve never dated other men’. Which, is not totally true, I’ve dated two other men. Anyways, point is, I love this theme, in books and in my life
but many people in my life don’t. Not enough adventure or something like that.
Gannon on 27 Oct 2007 at 9:47 am #
My hubby and I were friends first as well–19 years of marriage later, he’s still my best friend!
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Oct 2007 at 10:20 am #
I forgot about Beauty and Beast stories–sheesh! I even wrote one (To Pleasure a Prince, in case any of you are interested *G*). I’m trying to think if I’ve written any known-each-other-forever stories. I don’t think I have, mostly because it’s hard to write (that’s why I was SOO impressed with Karen’s story). It has to be believable that these two people one day wake up and go, “Wow, didn’t know you had it in you!” I guess, in a way, Charlotte and Michael’s story will be somewhat that, since they’ve known each other through letters for years. That’s not quite the same, though.
Ava, don’t listen to your family. Plenty of people meet the love of their life early and stay with them always. I just don’t think there’s any rules when it comes to love, as long as the two lovers are consenting adults.
ladydawgfan on 27 Oct 2007 at 10:22 am #
I love all of the aforementioned themes. I don’t really have a favorite - I love ‘em all!!! As to friends to lovers, I haven’t had this happen. However, I have had a couple of close male friends in school who were so wonderful as men and all around human beings (”their mama’s raised them right” is how it was put to me in MS) that if they had wanted to take things romantic, I would have welcomed it with open arms!! Unfortunately, they were both “otherwise engaged,” and I wouldn’t break up a relationship just to be with someone for any reason. I am just not “other woman” material (my mama raised me right, too!).
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Oct 2007 at 10:24 am #
Come to think of it, Karen’s new one, To Scotland, With Love, is this theme. I just finished that book not too long ago! Great book–Karen just does that theme very well.
Actually, friends-to-lovers themes are also often unrequited love themes, another favorite. I.E., the hero or heroine has been yearning for the other forever, but the other one is just slow to catch on that they could be great together. I love those, too.
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Oct 2007 at 10:55 am #
Lisa H, I have Christina Dodd’s book in my TBR pile for that very reason! Oh, and I loved A Rose in Winter, too. It’s on my keeper shelf.
I HAVE done a couple of stories where the hero and heroine knew each other well as children, but haven’t been together in a while–one of my Deborah Martin stories, “Too Wicked for Heaven,” and oddly enough, Beware a Scot’s Revenge, where Lachlan and Venetia had known each other until her family moved away from Scotland when she was eight. But I’ve never done a friends-to-lovers story. Now I’m going to HAVE to do one!
DebMarlowe on 27 Oct 2007 at 11:05 am #
Sabrina,
Oh, I think Charlotte and Michael’s story will definitely fall into this category! There is such a fun and flirty and slightly naughty undertone to some of their exchanges. I can’t wait for their story!
Kay on 27 Oct 2007 at 11:07 am #
The most beautiful, and sad, unrequited live in a movie (IMHO) is in FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL when Hugh Grant’s character finds out that his friend, Fiona, has been in live w/ him all along. AHHHHHHH. I cry every time at that scene. It is such a small part of the movie, but it had the most impact on me. I love her character, and took my pen name because of her.
I do love the friend turned lover stories. MY DH and I were friends before we really started dating. We were “friends” then fell in love. I had been engaged before, and I had broken up with the guy, a year or so before DH and I met. I still wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship—or so I thought.
Ellen on 27 Oct 2007 at 11:59 am #
Sabrina, thank you for blogging about sweet love today. It is the fifteenth anniversary of my younger brother’s passing. I was feeling sad until I read your blog. It reminded me that David should always be remembered with total love and no sadness. Thank you
My very first and still favorite love story was Wuthering Heights. Those two children frolicking in the heather, pretending to be king and queen of the moors and then falling hopelessly in love…well…it still moves me. Many people think this romance ends sadly with Catherine’s death, but in my mind, it is her death that finally allows them to be together forever.
Sister Mary Damien told me, in first grade, that “Heaven is whatever makes you happy.” In my heaven, Heathcliff and Catherine are dancing on the moors forever.
I love you all,
Ellen
elsiehogarth on 27 Oct 2007 at 12:59 pm #
I too love “The Beauty & the Beast” due to seeing the play at age 4 or 5 and I just fell in love with the Beast. Then even more so when my Uncle Gerard also took me to see the Jean Cocteau film.
I love all authors-Beauty & the Beast themes: Sabrina’s-To Pleasure a Prince-Dragon meets dyslexsic heroine, Judith Ivory-The Beast, Teresa Medeiros, Iris Johansen, Sandra Schwab-not only has a Beauty, a Beast with a peg leg that walks the ramparts of his castle, at night, with the Black Forest as their background but also has gargoyles that are watching over them etc.
claudia dain on 27 Oct 2007 at 1:04 pm #
I love marriage of convenience or arranged marriage stories; I’ve written a bunch of them and just never get tired of the dynamic of having to find a way and make it work with a near or complete stranger. I can’t think of any movies with that theme (unless Somersby is used again), can you?
Oh, oh! Just thought of one: Green Card. I loved that movie.
Aspen on 27 Oct 2007 at 1:22 pm #
Hmmm… Love this topic. I am already writing down all your favs. I must go to the bookstore this weekend!
Jane Eyre?
Pride & Prejudice (made mkore surprising because they were enemies before lovers)
Gaelen Foley “Primcess” Protector/Peincess
It was hard to find books with this theme. I would love to read more like this.
Love
Aspen
I also love those destined for each other stories like Legend by Jude Deverauxs She is REALLY good at that.
Kay on 27 Oct 2007 at 2:27 pm #
Claudia, I loved GREENCARD. It’s now on my TBS again list.
Thanks for reminding me about it.
Kay on 27 Oct 2007 at 2:29 pm #
Oh, Ellen, I am so sorry about your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose a brother or sister.
MizMacgyver on 27 Oct 2007 at 2:31 pm #
I love the friends to lovers, and I did have that happen. It didn’t necessarily have a happy ending but we are still friends, so that is happy enough
Karen Hawkins on 27 Oct 2007 at 3:12 pm #
Sabrina, what a great topic! I loooove friends to lovers stories. Yes, To Scotland With Love is one, and so is the novella, TWO HEARTS, that I wrote for the Lady Whistledown anthology. I just love that slow dance to awakening that the person you’ve been looking for all along, is standing right beside you.
I also love the guardian/ward stories — writing one of those next! There’s something about the world-weary older man falling for the younger, lively, innocent miss. Sort of like My Fair Lady.
I also love Beauty and the Beast theme, though I think The Ugly Duckling is my most favorite by far. I just love it when the heroine or hero changes physically into the beauty they already are inside.
Great topic, Sabrina!
PS Ellen, that’s a lovely way to remember someone.
Lisa H on 27 Oct 2007 at 3:51 pm #
Oh Ellen—we love you too! I am sorry for your loss.
I forgot to mention unrequited love stories. These when done well should make you sob buckets!!!
I too love Wuthering Heights, it was my first favorite real piece of literature.
I am writing a story right now about a pair of friends who were separated, and she married someone else. Now man number one is back and licking his wounds because he wishes he took her when he had the chance. He is so in love with her, but she is oblivious right now—she will come around and they will be together, and I hope I pull this off and make the reader cry buckets and buckets because that is the way I feel about these two.
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Oct 2007 at 4:26 pm #
Aspen, I agree–it’s hard to find books with this theme, although I think it’s easier to find them in movies. I did think of another one I truly adore that has longtime friends becoming lovers: Nora Roberts’ Honest Illusions. Love that book.
Claudia, I loved Green Card, too! And I really go for marriages of convenience, although as you say, THOSE are really hard to find in movies, but widely prevalent in books.
Ellen, I’m sorry about your younger brother. I have two younger brothers, and it would kill me to lose either of them. Glad I could help a little on a sad day.
Ellen on 27 Oct 2007 at 4:49 pm #
You all help keep happiness in my life every day.
Karen…I LOVE ugly duckling stories.
jessie e on 27 Oct 2007 at 5:21 pm #
I love the friends-turned-lovers/unrequited love stories. My new favorite is THE SECRET DIARIES OF MIRANDA CHEEVER by Julia Quinn. Beauty and the Beast stories are another favorite–would Suzanne’s book LONDON’S PERFECT SCOUNDREL count as this? That’s my favorite romance novel of all time. I love marriage of convenience stories, and Julie Garwood writes great ones.
I don’t have a friend-turned-lover story, but I have a guy friend that I had such a huge crush on be. He liked me a little too, but was going out with some other girl, and his best friend liked me. He pushed me and his best friend together, so I agreed to give him a try. On our first date, I called him by the name of the guy had a crush on twice! It was so embarrassing. But he got over it, and he and I have been together for three years now. My friend that put us together–I could not imagine being with him romantically now. It even kinda weirds me out to think about it. So everything worked out beautifully.
Gannon on 27 Oct 2007 at 6:47 pm #
Ellen, big (((hugs))) to you! I think heaven is whatever makes you happy, too!
Santa on 27 Oct 2007 at 6:54 pm #
I love buddy to beloved stories!! My all time favorite is those marriage of convience (sp) stories. Bluestockings and rakes always do it for me especially when the rake discovers what a hottie the bluestocking is. Beauty & Beast stories always work for me. A new favorite for me is the employer/employee storyline but not set in contemporary times, though ‘Sugar Daddy’ kicked it for me!
pri.r. on 27 Oct 2007 at 6:55 pm #
OMG NEW KRESLEY COLE 5th Immortals After Dark Series book has been announced on her website… CHECK THE COVER LADIES! i’m like 80% sure that the guy is Nathan Kemp… or Kamp,… or Kemp…
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Oct 2007 at 9:28 pm #
JessieE, I love your story! That’s exactly the kind of buddy into boyfriend story I go for.
Nicole Jordan on 28 Oct 2007 at 9:37 am #
Sabrina, that is just so awesome that you were asked to write the afterward for EMMA!!!! What an honor. You’ll have to tell us about it when you can — all the juicy details about what it was like being part of a classic.
As for my faves, I’m partial to Cinderella, Beauty & Beast, and Reunion stories.
And no, I never had any personal experience with friends to boyfriends. I had lots of geeky guy friends that I loved dearly but never could see them as anything more.
NicoleJ
Lexile on 28 Oct 2007 at 6:56 pm #
I think my favorite is usually when the female is shy, awkward and bookish and the guy needs her help with something (to woo her sister/friend, to make someone jealous whatever). I suppose that fits into friend-into-lover category. I also enjoy spies and reunion stories though.
Friend to lover? I don’t have one–my boyfriend and I knew each other a month before we started dating, but that’s a very long involved story right there. In my social group at least its harder for a man and woman to be friends, just friends, before moving on. We’re very quick to jump to conclusions (we’re all romance readers, historical romance readers no less) and see romance everywhere but in our own lives (I make us sound like spinsters, truly the oldest of my group is only 29 and the youngest, that would be me, is 23).
Sonja Foust on 29 Oct 2007 at 8:58 am #
I did have a friend-turned-lover romance in high school. The poor guy had apparently been in love with me for months and I was just completely clueless and thought he was being weird. We dated for a loooong time.
My favorite stories, though, are the ones where enemies become friends and then become lovers. I think people mistake hate for the opposite of love when, really, if someone can inspire that much passion (yes, even hateful passion), it’s not THAT far off from love. This probably goes along with my love of redemption stories. Not sure what that says about me. Maybe I need some redemption of my own?