The Mount welcomes Lori Handeland and Her Glamorous Life!!
Oct 26th 2007
Guest GoddessGuest Goddesses
The Goddesses thrilled to welcome Lori Handeland to the Mount! Lori Handeland spent years waitressing, teaching and managing a photography studio before selling her first novel in 1993. She is the recipient of many industry awards, including two RITA Awards from Romance Writers of America for Best Paranormal and Best Long Contemporary Romance.
Lori lives in Wisconsin with her contractor husband, two teenaged sons and a yellow lab named Elwood. She can be reached through her web site www.lorihandeland.com There you can join her Full Moon Club and receive a monthly e-newsletter with spooky werewolf lore, fun full moon facts, recipes, excerpts and more. So without further ado - here’s Lori!
I’m so glad the goddesses invited me to be Goddess for a Day. In that vein, I thought I’d tell you about My Glamorous Life. I can hear all the goddesses snickering.
I used to go to work wearing make up, with my hair “done,” wearing skirts, hose, heels. I had manicured nails. Those days are done, and truthfully I don’t mind. 
But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people upon hearing what I do comment, “What a glamorous life!” after which they usually ask my husband why he’s still working for a living. The goddesses are snickering again.
My day always begins at 5:30 am when I roll out of my canopied princess bed, complete with filmy harem curtains—ahem—I mean my king sized bed, of which I sleep on about ¼ because my husband and his dog hog the rest, and hit the shower. In my mansion there is only one shower and if I don’t get it before the teenagers, forget about hot water.
For the next hour I masquerade as an alarm clock, routing teenage boys from their rooms, pounding on the bathroom door so the next guy can get his turn, feed, clothe, find lost homework, books, wallets and cell phones. By 6:45 I shove them out the door and say, Whew! The mansion is mine until 3 pm—in theory.
Since I am the queen of my castle, I do not wear make up; I do not do my hair. For work I wear flannel pajama bottoms and sweatshirts, no shoes, just slippers. It is heaven.
Until the doorbell rings and the Fed Ex man asks if I’m home sick. Is that a comment on my appearance or just that I appeared?
Next I grab my coffee and sit at my computer to read over what I wrote yesterday on my latest work in progress. I make some headway before my husband returns and sets up shop at the kitchen table. His phone rings, the fax machine buzzes, the doorbell blares and his employees tramp in and out dropping off time cards and picking up materials. I slam the door to my throne room and put in my ear plugs.
I return to the world of the Nightcreatures where kick ass heroines fight deadly monsters and survive. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I shriek. Luckily I can’t hear the shriek because of the earplugs.
My husband has just taken the new puppy for a walk. He hands me the adorable ball of fluff. As soon as I’ve enfolded him in my arms hubby says, “He rolled in poop. Gotta go.”
Since I’ve been torn out of my imaginary world for the time being, I run to the drycleaners figuring no one will be there in the middle of the day. The clerk says, “I’ll be right with you, Mrs. Handeland.” 
The customer in front of me turns, looks me up and down and with a wrinkled nose says, “You’re the writer.”
Uh, no. That would be another Mrs. Handeland.
When I get home, it’s time for lunch. But the cupboard is bare. The servants are really slacking off. I partake of the last few grapes in the bag and some cheese. That should get me through until the chef makes dinner.
The cover for my next book arrives via e-mail attachment. “How do you like it?” my editor asks. 
I stare at the beach scene 
they’ve put on my jungle book and wonder if I got someone else’s cover. I point out that there is no beach in this book. “Can you put one in?” my editor asks. I spend an hour creating a dream sequence for my heroine, complete with a walk on the beach. By the time I’m done, they’ve changed the cover to a jungle. But they like the beach scene so much, they leave it in. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.
I manage a few more pages in the Nightcreature world before my younger son calls to be picked up from school. I drive there in my work clothes, then spend the return ride hunched over like a crone wishing I had long hair to cover my face since my darling son neglected to mention I was also giving 6 of his friends a ride. “Dude, is your mom sick?” one of them asks. “No,” he answers, “she always looks like that when she’s writing.”
Like what? I think, but I know better than to ask.
At home, the chef has not shown up. The servants have not returned from the grocery store and the dusting fairies haven’t arrived yet either. Darn it. I mix a casserole with noodles and whatever is left in the house—noodles will cover a multitude of sins around here–then return to Nightcreature land where my heroine never has to make dinner, run errands or pick up a truckload of teenagers. Her puppy doesn’t poop (because she has no puppy, although werewolves are another story) and if someone recognizes her when she’s out and about it’s usually to say “thank you for saving my life” unless of course, that person, or creature, has been sent to kill her.
Come to think of it, even with the puppy poo, I like my life so much better. I get to visit other worlds every single day, and in my imagination I can be anyone and still return to my glamorous life whenever I want.
So tell me, what’s the biggest daily interruption to your glamorous life and how do you cope?
73 Comments »
73 Responses to “The Mount welcomes Lori Handeland and Her Glamorous Life!!”
Karen Rose on 26 Oct 2007 at 12:48 am #
Welcome, Lori! I love your blog - I chuckled all the way through it! I’m amazed you’re able to get any pages done at all
I had the pleasure of sitting next to Lori in 2005 when she won her first RITA. She’s gracious and lovely - we’re so glad to have you today.
A long time ago I went to work in hose and heels and suits. Ick. Especially the hose. (And the heels and the suits!) I love being able to work looking grungy! My biggest daily interruption is the trip out to the bank, UPS store, post office, grocery store, whatever. I have to put on normal clothes and look human, LOL. If I’ve been on a writing tear, looking human can be a very big task!
evlqn on 26 Oct 2007 at 1:27 am #
Hi Lori, thanks for emailing about this blog! Back in ancient times I too used to “dress for success” I still have two tackle boxes of warpaint from those days. Now, I have to take a refresher course on lipstick application. I sew custom clothing and help my sister in our daycare. But everyday at 2:45 my sisters youngest grandson walks into the sewing room, pushes whatever I am working on aside and plunks down his homework. It is time to focus on our favorite obsessive - complusive. After that,it’s snack time! And then it is time for football, basketball,baseball, or soccer practice depending on the season. I have seen more sporting events in the last three years than I had previously seen in my LIFE! If I am extremely lucky I get back to my sewing at 8:15 the following morning, I love school time!! I love my life and I love the time I share with the grandkids.
Stacy ~ on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:28 am #
Yeah, I’m in the corporate world, though our dresscode is made up of mostly sweater sets even though I have quite a few cute blazers I’d love to wear to work. I actually like that part and almost begged to dress like a grown-up. Sadly I was outvoted.
The interruption in my glamorous life? Actually working! Instead of surfing the ‘net and drinking lovely flavored coffee or reading a book and indulging in a pumpkin muffin, I must actually earn my wages. It’s a sad, sad thing, I tell ya.
DebMarlowe on 26 Oct 2007 at 6:12 am #
Hi Lori!
Fun blog! I can definitely relate to the “life interferes” aspect–and yet the writing must be done!
Some women lust after shoes, some after purses. I have a fantasy of having a long line of uber-comfortable jammies to work in. Light and breezy ones for summer, soft flannel for winter. I could get up, take my shower, choose my new jammies and off to the computer! Ahh.
Unfortunately my boys object to mom wearing her jammies to carpool, school and activities–but some day!
Don’t worry, Claudia–I would still let you be my fashion consultant for the days I wasn’t working!
Keri Ford on 26 Oct 2007 at 6:46 am #
My 6 month old. That’s my daily interruption. My cothing requirements are my pajamas except for the couple days a week where I hit the grocery store…but even then, it’s at about seven in the morning when the kid has gotten me out of bed. So no makeup, hair in a ponytail, and whatever jumpsuit I could get my hands on is good enough for that excursion.
My mom lives next door, so she wonderfully takes my mail to the post office and makes my bank runs for me (she’s going there too, it’s not like I’m having her make extra trips).
My writing time is available when he decides to nap. Depending on his mood, sometimes I get enough time to sprint to the restroom and grab some water, other times, I get three hours to spend with my characters.
Overall, I can’t complain much.
And Stacy, when I was in the ‘dress to look your best’ world, I also wanted to wear my hose/heels/shirts/blazer outfits over just a sweater set.
Lisa H on 26 Oct 2007 at 7:47 am #
Hi Lori, your life sounds like (gasp) a regular woman’s!
Do I have any interruptions? Just a 2 year old who wants to do everything I am doing AND wants to take everything apart (a budding engineer)
Some days it makes me crazy, other days I just look at him and think, “What a miracle”.
Cranky in Hose, Ellen on 26 Oct 2007 at 7:47 am #
I exist in the world of Pax Interuptus. I consider every day a collection of miniscule moments of peace overpowered by disturbing interruptions of responsibility. Don’t get me wrong…if I was responsible for finding the cure for cancer, I might be able to accept the interruptions. But alas, my task is much more vital to the existence and continuation of my gene pool.
“Mom, I can’t find my sneaker.”
“Sneaker? As in one?”
“Yeah, I can’t find it. Did you put it somewhere?”
“Of course not! Retract your steps from yesterday,” I say in a complete panic that he may miss the bus, thus forcing me to drive him to school in my pajamas, yet again. “Hurry!”
Walking as quickly as he can, (think one legged man walking death row) the boy retracts his steps. The porch, (where his never-been-touched book bag is sitting) the refrigerator (which he opens and stares blindly into out of habit) the video games (which cause him to twitch and scratch his arm like a junkie) the main floor powder room (seat still left up) computer room (which shows an ongoing game of spider solitaire instead of a manuscript in work) and finally back to his bedroom.
Going into a commando crawl that only a Mom could do, I spot the missing sneaker under his bed and urge him to quickly put it on. He spends two minutes pulling them on (yes, they have laces that have never been used) and proceeds to miss the bus.
As I walk out the door in my pajamas, yet again, I hear a call from far, far away.
“Honey, have you seen my wallet?”
elsiehogarth on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:03 am #
Welcome Lori! Moon Goddess!
For anyone out there that has not read Lori’s books…go get them and get them NOW. They are wonderful. Start with Blue Moon…it has MY John DeSalvo on the cover. That book is Hot because of Prof. Will. I remember being on vacation, in the Caribbean, when I read that book and sending Lori an e-mail telling her how I looked forward for more because it was such a great book.
I too was a “corporate” drone-International Financial Analyst for 27 years. When my boss-MCI CEO Bernie Ebbers was arrested on CNN-I just said enough plus I just burnt out with the working 6:00am to 6:00pm. It was crazy. Now, life is good.
SuzyQ on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:06 am #
Oh Ellen! Too funny - that sounds just like my house in the morning - with the exception of me driving the kids to school everyday.
Stacy I’m with you. The biggest interruption is people from the office calling me to do some work while I’m trying to read this blog! LOL!
Karen Hawkins on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:15 am #
Lol! Yeah, I used to have to ‘dress’ for work, but since I worked at a college in a variety of positions (I was promoted, then moved from student services to academics), I never wore suits. I wore ‘dress slacks’ which is about as high up the starch ladder I ever want to go.
As for interruptions? A kid who thinks nothing of yelling from his bedroom if I could bring him some breakfast (What? He expects it in bed? Since WHEN?) to family members who think ‘writing’ and ‘doesn’t work’ are the same thing, to household issues like a leaky roof, to two dogs who want to go out, in, out, in, out, in. Frankly, I think they just like going through the doorway.
All women have to deal with pax interruptus. It’s tough being a goddess!
Darla on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:23 am #
Welcome! Glad your here!
After the night creature novels you need to try your hand at some comedy! That post was excellent, the best way to start a Friday!
I have all your books…I may not have read them all yet, but I have them! I really love the originality of your series, and the twists and turns so far. Though I’ve really enjoyed all the couples in each story, I think my favorite character is Edward! He is great, will we see a side romance for him?
What do your sons think of your profession and the type of books you write?
My biggest daily interuption IS work! LOL
Have a great Friday all!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:25 am #
Hi, Everyone! Thanks for the great welcome.
Karen neglects to mention that she won a RITA too the year we sat next to each other. And the girl on the other side of me also won. It was RITA row! So much fun! That really was a glamorous night.
Evlqn–your life sounds so great! Sewing and taking care of your grandkids and going to sports activities. I’m still going to the sports activities and love it. My oldest pointed out yesterday that soon I can go to my grandkids’ games. “How soon?” I snarled. (He’s only 19. I wanted to throttle him.)
Your corporate world sounds much better than mine, Stacy. Of course I was there about . . . I can’t remember. At least 20 years ago. Ugh.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:29 am #
Continuing on–
Oh, Deb! You caught me! I have shoe issues. You should see my closet! When I go to RWA or RT, I am shoe woman. I came home once to discover my youngest and my niece in my closet opening box after box of shoes. He wanted to know why I had 3 pairs in the same color. My niece sneered at him with appropriate female disdain. “If you find one that fits right, you NEED it in every color.” The “moron” was implied but never stated. My niece is a trip. I enjoy her so much, though she’s quite the mystery in my household of men. My boys just look at her and shake their heads and say, “She’s a girl.” then shrug and move on.
Ah, Keri. I remember those days well. Waiting for them to fall asleep and then running to the computer. I used to write a lot at midnight. I don’t think I’d make it anymore. That’s so nice that your mom can help you. I’m sure she enjoys the time she spends with her grandchild, too. My mom used to watch my kids and she just loved it.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:33 am #
Quite so, Lisa. Kids are such a miracle, and so cool to hang out with and watch grow. I miss mine when they were little, but it’s also fun to talk to them like adults now and have them interested in the things we do. I was so blessed to be able to write and be at home with them while they were young.
Wow, Ellen, that’s my life! LOL. I am Find it Woman around here. My kids always look at me and say, “How do you KNOW that?” Because I’ve learned to make note in my frazzled brain as to where I saw that wallet, those glasses, that shoe. Saves time later. But, like you, my husband is the chief culprit. And I have a harder time finding his stuff because half the time it’s in his truck or on the jobsite or at the office or the warehouse. He lost a set of keys in the house once that we have NEVER found. How can that be? He had to drive home with them.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:38 am #
Thanks, Elsie!! I’ve had John on 2 covers of mine in 40+ books and I think Blue Moon is the best. A very nice portrait of his chest and half his face.
Ha, SuzyQ. Love it! I enjoy reading this blog every morning. It’s so nice to hear what other people are saying out there.
I have one of those kids, too, Karen. He actually calls on his cell phone from the basement to ask for food. I should just toss it into the dungeon. And what is it with the dogs? Mine’s the same way. Gotta go out, sniff the air, look up the tree, stand around, protect the yard from all intruders. Then come in. then out is better. AAAAHHHH!!!!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:45 am #
Hi, Darla. I’m glad you liked the post. Funny, I was thinking of trying my hand at romantic comedy if I got a chance to do something else.
I like Edward, too. I would love to write a book for him and had even started one, but my publisher didn’t want to publish a book set during WWII. Maybe someday . . .
My boys see writing as my job and aren’t too impressed by it. I got published when they were 5 and 2 so they’ve never known me to be anything else. It’s funny because their friends are VERY impressed when they come over and see the covers on my office walls. I also keep a copy of each book on our mantle, and the RITA’s in a case. It DOES look kind of cool.
This year, two of my younger sons’ friends chose Blue Moon as their “extra” book for their English class. That was interesting. I was afraid their parents would flip but they didn’t. I figured they’d tease my son about “those” scenes. But they didn’t. They liked the adventure and the inform
Julia London on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:10 am #
Lori, Karen…I was sitting directly behind you the year you won your RITAs. My row didn’t win anything. Talk about being close, but no cigar!
I used to wear the suits and heels, too, but what amazes me is that I actually used to run in heels — down the sidewalk or hallway, up and down stairs. Now when I put them on, I have to hold on to something and walk very carefully.
I live in shorts and flipflops. The downside is, I must have pedicures frequently because when feet are exposed to the elements, they can get pretty ugly. The upside is, I must have pedicures frequently.
Lisa H on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:11 am #
Lori–how nice of you to respond back to each of us. I also enjoyed the part of your blog where the editor asked you to “put in” a beach scene! I doubt a man could just throw in a beach scene, but alas that is what makes us goddesses and why we have a goddess forum. Notice there are no god forums!
Karen I love that your son calls on his cell phone from the basement….my 11 year old son wants a fridge in his room, and a toilet…I fear we’d never see him again!
Karen Rose on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:11 am #
After writing all night and falling into bed with my clothes still on from yesterday, I after three short hours of sleep to DH mumbling, “Don’t forget you have to take me to work today.” And thus started the interruptions. I staggered to the computer to see if anyone had sent me anything interesting in the night, but alas, all I had were offers to improve anatomical parts I don’t even have.
As I was getting my purse to take DH to work, #1 child came out of her room, dressed (probably what she was wearing yesterday, too) and wailing “I worked all night on my Halloween costume and everything that could go wrong with my Halloween costume, did!”
I took one look at the disaster that was supposed to be a hunny-bee costume (her friend is going as Pooh - how cute!) and said sagely, “We can fix this with duct tape.” She opened her mouth to automatically protest that that would never work, then nodded, surprised. “Yeah, duct tape will work.”
Karen Rose on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:12 am #
So I took DH to work, #1 child to Walmart for duct tape, went to the bank and am now going to get ready for my day! So when the FedEx man comes he won’t ask if I’m home sick today (snicker).
Karen Rose on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:19 am #
Julia, I can’t wear heels anymore either. I feel like I’m on ten inch stilts when they’re only two inch little bitty heels. Holding on to the wall for support kind of x’s out the sexy allure of high heels, so I’m a flip flop and sandal girl, too.
But not shorts. I’m not brave enough for that - even in my house! ‘Cause who knows when the FedEx guy will come and I’ll scare him to death.
My father-in-law used to call my mother-in-law from teh basement to ask her to bring him stuff. I vowed that would never happen to DH and me.
So we have no basement (it’s FL after all and the water table is already at our ankles). Regular top-of-the-lungs, old-fashioned yelling from room to room suffices.
Diane Hamann on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:25 am #
“Mom” is the secret identity of Wonder Woman! No one else could ever keep up with daily “to do” lists that we all have.
All of the “goddesses” are on the must read must buy immediately list in my little corner of the wonder universe. Presently trying to read Lori’s latest between work and my “chores”.
Caren Crane on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:45 am #
Lori, great topic! Interruptions. I have to say I’m with Darla, in that my biggest interruption–particularly to my writing–is the ddj (dreaded day job). I dream of being able to quit the ddj one day and lead a life as glamorous as Lori and the other full-time writer goddesses. I fear, though, the glamor of my life might even exceed that of lives already described here. Which is, frankly, terrifying. *g*
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:54 am #
Hey, Julia, didn’t know you were behind us in Reno. In the way my life usually goes–though I was up for my first RITA and had the best dress and shoes EVER–I got food poisoning that day and wasn’t sure I’d even make it to the ceremony. I missed the dinner and spent most of that interminably long ceremony with my eyes closed.
Lisa–I have to say that the beach scene ended up being one of my favorite scenes out of all my books so it worked out. But editors do ask for some strange things sometimes.
Oh, boy. Karen’s really having a glamorous day!
I agree that duct tape is good for anything. My dad used to keep cases of it around.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:57 am #
Karen, there’s always a lot of yelling at my house, too. I’ll ask one kid to go and tell his brother something, then he’ll turn and shout what I said. Hey, I could have done that!
Hope you’re enjoying the book, Diane.
Caren, here’s to the ending of the DDJ someday soon!
Nicole Jordan on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:59 am #
LOL, Goddess Lori! And welcome to Mt. Oly! You fit in perfectly.
The glamourous life of writer? That’s just hilarious. You have dogs and puppies. I have horses and smell like a barn sometimes. And you have to be a saint to write with kids and dh’s around.
Now you have to tell us about your latest books!
Midas on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:10 am #
I just hate it when life happens while I am trying to read my books. Life in the form of buns needing diapers, dogs vomit needing to be cleaned, or homework which I have to do…which part of my “I have finished my degree” did I missed because I’m back to doing homework for a 10, 8, 6 years old.
Actually, I like the interruption, except for the part where it makes it impossible to read once it starts.
Sherri Browning Erwin on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:18 am #
“Dude, is your mom sick?” LOL!! This is my life, too. Always nice to meet a new visiting goddess.
ericaleigh on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:23 am #
Hi Lori. I agree with Darla, you should definetly try your hand at some humor writing. I just started to work from home. And although I’m still working at a job where I have to leave the house and (gasp!) wear a uniform, its a night and I’m working on establishing my daytime routine. I thought my hardest challenge would be to get up early and consistenly but I’m finding that was easy and now getting focused (and staying focused) during the day is really hard. I seem to do okay as long as I don’t turn the TV on, you know for some backround noise. It’s only been a few weeks so far so I still have hope that this will all work out okay. Because I can’t wait to quit the job where I have to wear a dark brown button up shirt and black pants every night, it is really unflattering. I’m looking forward to my pj only days :). Happy Friday everyone!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:35 am #
Hi, Nicole. A saint, hmm. I like the sound of that. I used to encourage my kids call me “Mommy, Queen of my Universe,” when they were little. They only did it when they wanted something. But Saint Mommy sounds pretty good.
Ah, my latest books. My favorite topic! Right now I have two novellas available in separate anthologies. Cobwebs over the Moon in Moon Fever is a sexy werewolf tale set in Alaska and loosely related to my Nightcreature world. Voodoo Moon in No Rest for the Witches takes place in a small town outside of New Orleans and features a voodoo priest as my “witch.” This story does take place in the Nightcreature world but with magic instead of werewolves or other shapeshifters.
The final Nightcreature Novel, for now, will be released Jan. 2 Thunder Moon is Sheriff Grace McBride’s story, a character from Hidden Moon.
I recently completed the first novel in a new urban fantasy series from St. Martin’s titled Any Given Doomsday.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:38 am #
Midas,
I am constantly telling my kids–Hey, I already did 7th grade, 8th grade, high school, college. It doens’t help. They continue to think I need to do it again.
Hi, Sherri!
Erica,
It is hard to focus at home sometimes. There’s always something I could be doing, like laundry or dishes or cooking. I really try to put all that off until my non working hours. As a result, if anyone comes to my house during the day not only do I look like a mess but so does my house.
My kids always ask what I watched on TV during the day. I never turn on the TV. Too distracting. The only way I know that anything is going on in the world during the day is by surveying the news headlines on AOL.
Lynn on 26 Oct 2007 at 11:41 am #
Lori, I am so glad to hear that there are others that work in their “comfort clothes”. I’m a stay at home mom and I spend my days in pj’s. It drives my husband nuts, but I tell him if he wants to wear the bra, go right ahead!!
I tell everyone that I’m the doorman for the dogs! Somehow no one else seems to be around when they have to go out, or need more food or water, you get the picture.
With three kids, two in college, an 11 year old who could run for hormone drama of the year (and win), two dogs, two cats, (one of whom is hacking up a hairball as we speak) and a husband who has his own business in my living room aside from his day job, well lets just say that reading is the only vacation I get and I usually have to hide somewhere to do it!
Anyway, my drama aside, I really have to say thanks for doing what you do. You keep me sane in this asylum I call home!
claudia dain on 26 Oct 2007 at 12:39 pm #
Welcome, Lori!! Fellow Goddess! I know you’re just trying to make the rest of us, the Lazy Goddesses, feel better about ourselves. I *know* that you have to be up at 4AM or something equally horrendous to get everything you get done in a day, done.
Goddess Lori is the most prolific, disciplined writer I’ve ever met. I’m always trying to use her as my pace bunny, but she beats me every time, writing 5 books to my 1. Of course, I try to “help” Goddess Lori by encouraging her to take it easy, to give herself long breaks, to have a treat by sleeping in till 8AM. She seems unnaturally suspicious about my kindly suggestions.
Weird, huh?
Cranky in Hose, Ellen on 26 Oct 2007 at 12:42 pm #
Speaking of dressing up and interuptions: Big girls get interrupted by Pantyhose all the time. I swear the ill fitting crotch and splintering elastic band are in cahoots together. There we are, minding our own business, talking with the boss and all of the sudden….
“Pssst, pssssssst,” whispers my pantyhose.
“Stop bothering me. I am trying to focus on some business here.”
“There’s something you need to know. Queen size may not be enough. Whatever you do, ignore the drooping crotch and focus on not sitting down.”
“I have to sit down. My heels are killing me. See, I’m sitting down and nothing…OMG…what just happened?”
“The waistband just rolled down your hips and will end up at your knees if you don’t stand up.”
“Damn…you could have said something sooner.”
“Well, I know how you hate to be interrupted.”
colinfirthfan on 26 Oct 2007 at 12:42 pm #
The biggest interruption in my glamorous life - going to work!! If not for work I’d be lolling around all day getting lost in the books I read. Of course you can argue that if not for work I wouldn’t have money to pay for the books.
My work clothes are jeans and a tee so even on weekends I am the first one dressed. I then proceed to nag my boys until they get changed (I help the 4 yr old). I can’t bear being in my jammies all day - though I have managed many hours in the morning if I am in the middle of cleaning or cooking.
Suzanne Enoch on 26 Oct 2007 at 1:01 pm #
Welcome, Lori!
I used to think I had a glamorous life, being home for the FedEx guy, collecting my mail from the box minutes after it actually arrived — and then I realized the neighbors probably thought I was a divorcee who’d gotten a big settlement. Why else would a “fairly” young lady who lived alone be at home all day? So I bought a t-shirt that says “The Person Wearing This T-Shirt Is a Author” to clarify matters for everyone. *g*
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 1:30 pm #
I’m with you, Lynn. No bras! I feel like Gloria Steinem.
Of course I can say that since I shop in the training bra section at Sears. Or I used to until I had to explain to the fifth sales woman that yes, I did know the bras were for teenage girls, but I can’t fit in the ones for the big girls. Now I shop online.
And speaking of the big girl panty . . . hose –I hate those things, too! the only way to keep pantyhose from sagging to my knees was to buy a size that cut off all circulation between the hip bone and the thigh bone. Who makes those things?
Colinfirthfan–mmm. I love him! Hubba, hubba. My trick for not feeling like I never got out of PJ’s is to have a separate set for work and for sleeping. I don’t think I could wake up properly if I kept wearing what I slept in to work in. This is also a good excuse for more and newer clothes. Not that I’ve ever needed an excuse!
tami on 26 Oct 2007 at 1:35 pm #
I LOVE all your books!
LOL you have very hectic days
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 1:38 pm #
Claudia, dahling! You crack me up. I love having you around because you keep telling me that I write 5 books to your 1. (I SO do not.) You do wonders for my ego.
Claudia and I met in New Orleans on an Oak Alley Plantation tour. She’s one of those people you can meet and immediately know you were meant to be BFF’s. We lead parallel lives. Kind of. Claudia is too smart to ever get up at 4 am.
Hi Suzanne! I love T-shirts. They go so well with my PJ bottoms. My latest says, “Do not make me call out my flying monkeys,” which I thought was hysterical. My son took one look at it and without cracking a smile said, “Wicked Witch. Yep.”
Of course my husband always sings “if she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will,” under his breath whenever I have a slight mental melt down.
Cranky in Hose, Ellen on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:14 pm #
LOL…LOVE the flying monkey shirt. Gotta get one!
Santa on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:39 pm #
The biggest interruptions to my writing day would have to be my brother, my mother, my 91 year old aunt looking for my mother, my kids and my DH. Other than that, I have no interruptions to my day!
EllenB on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:48 pm #
Lori,
my fulltime teaching job at the college really gets in the way of writing However, I teach in a tee shirt, a blazer and no heels— I wear low boots.
I’ve lost control of my house. The STUFF FAIRIES keep adding clutter every nite.
writing?? After I cleaned a hair ball off my area rug. drank POT of coffee . dh is coming home EARLY. I thought I had hours left alone oh, well, he IS bringing food.
and was cheering for you and Karen in Reno.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:48 pm #
Thanks, Tami. Glad you’re enjoying the books.
I got the monkey shirt at one of those kiosks in the mall, Ellen. But I think I’ve seen it in catalogues, too. I once wrote a character who wore all sorts of crazy T-shirts. I had a ball looking up sayings on the Internet.
Ah, Santa, the family. They’re the hardest because we love them so much and want to be with them, but not always right now!
The animals are so much easier to train. The other day my dog was lying in his favorite place, which is in my office doorway, and doing this neurotic lick, lick, lick thing he has. I didn’t even look up from my computer, just said, “Elwood, my head!” and he stopped mid-lick. My husband said, “how do you do that?” Well, he’s learned that the next thing after “my head” is my shoe (slipper) flying toward HIS head.
You see why the Cruella Deville song is my theme?
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:51 pm #
I have stuff fairies, too, Ellen. Or maybe they’re book fairies. My TBR case is pathetic! I used to swear that the Beanie Babies mated in the night. Those things multiplied like crazy!
Thanks for the cheers in Reno. They definitely worked.
Kim on 26 Oct 2007 at 2:57 pm #
Hi Lori!
I’m pretty sure we’re using the same servant/chef service. They really need to up the quality there. My maid is so horrible that when she went to dust yesterday she couldn’t even find the duster. Personally, I’m pretty sure she tossed it so she wouldn’t have to dust again. *ahem*
Sadly, the UPS guy doesn’t even flinch anymore when I open the door in my ratty t-shirt and pink hearted pajama bottoms with my hair sticking every which way. Although my husband does find time to say “I can’t believe you open the door looking like that.”
Kimberley on 26 Oct 2007 at 3:00 pm #
Thanks Lori for emailing me about this blog. I am a stay at home mother and wife. I quit working 12 years ago to stay at home when my youngest daughter was diagnosed with learning disabilities. I still have the suits and dresses and high heels. But I haven’t even looked at them. I wear jeans and tank tops and sandalls most of the time. Now with graduation looming in May, I’m not sure what the future holds (empty nest syndrome rearing its ugly head!). I think the most annoying interuption of my day is the phone. It seems it never stops ringing and it’s never for me. My solution - TURN OFF the ringer. Of course this upsets my 18 year old when she gets home. I forget to tell her its off. Oh my!
I’m a lucky woman - I have a husband who loves me (27 1/2 yrs), 4 beautiful daughters, 1 grandson, 2granddaughters and 4 loving kitties. And writers out there that provide me with all the books I could ever want!
I have been truly blessed.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 3:48 pm #
Hi, Kim! I’ve started naming the dust bunnies around here. If they insist on staying, they become part of the family.
And Kimberley, I’m glad you could stop by. Sounds like you’ve got a terrific life! Congratulations on the upcoming graduation. I had a real hard time with my first one leaving this year. Not sure what I’ll do when the last one goes. Although my youngest gets credit for ALL my gray hairs. He has been into stuff since he could crawl. The stuff just keeps getting bigger. Now he’s about to drive. I may have to give up dying my hair and just go with the white. It’ll be a new glamnorous fasion statement.
emmiebee on 26 Oct 2007 at 4:11 pm #
Hi Lori! Love your whole “Moon” series, especially since your leading ladies have (gasp) real flaws, and are people that I want to see get a good break! I just wanted to pass on the offical, vet-sanctioned fact that dog and cat puke is much easier to remove from the rug once it has sat and dried a bit. Yup- gross but true, you can just leave that room and come back later, and continue your current task. How much later- up to you. I recommend as long as you can stand it. Then, scoop up puke with paper towel, and place my best friend, the “Spotbot” on the area, and push the button. And leave again. I would love to get a Roomba to help me, but I think that one pass though my cat-hair littered carpet would kill the little sucker.
-Emmiebee
Suzie on 26 Oct 2007 at 4:12 pm #
Thanks for the e-mail reminder Lori. I guess I am a virgin to the goddess blogs. I loved reading everyone’s comments.
I am only substitute teaching right now, so I guess I am a stay at home mom most of the time. My day gets busy when my 3 children are done with school and all their after school activities start. I went to a job interview the other day, so I had to pull all the old business wear and dressy shoes out (to see what still fit)! Ugh.. The make-up application was a bit of a challenge too, because I usually don’t wear anything but a little powder and mascara (if I think of it). The kids don’t usually comment till my tan fades.
My girls all wear the same size as me now, so I am lucky if I ever have any jeans available. It is usually athletic pants and a sweatshirt for me. I do get out of the flannel pj’s part way through the morning, usually after going out to feed my husband’s hunting hounds and getting all dirtied up by their excited jumping all over me.
Suzie on 26 Oct 2007 at 4:21 pm #
Love the books Lori. My first was Crescent Moon, then I went and found all the previous books. Crescent Moon is still my favorite. I can’t tell you how many times I have reread it (the sign of a truly good book)!!
I have the habit of starting a book in the morning after the kids get on the bus, and then not being able to put it down till its done. The dust bunnies and dog hair are getting thick. Almost makes me feel guilty…maybe! I don’t know if I could kick that habit if I was an author. Do you get time to relax and read while living your glamorous life?
claudia dain on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:21 pm #
Lori, Lori, Lori. Only you can make laziness sound like intelligence. Is there any doubt as to why we’re BFF?
Listen to me fellow goddesses, Goddess Lori has started and finished more than I’ll do the entire day by 9AM. It’s amazing, in a terrifying sort of way. I’m crawling out of bed and she’s writing half a book, paying the bills, and taking one kid to football practice and another to a doctor’s appt. I’m still rubbing my eyes, mumbling, “Kids? Do I have kids?”
Now Lori, since I’ve outted you, you are allowed to gloat. Tell us all about your newest series! Urban fantasy is a new venture for you, right? What *is* urban fantasy, anyway?
Lisa H on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:33 pm #
Ellen- I can so relate to your panty hose woes. (I’m lymrking and off topic)
AFter child #2 and even more so after child #3 I NEED control top hose. If not, I look like I am still about 5mos. pregnant.
Anyway, I have this one “good” pair that really sucks in my flab—I save them for weddings and going to church on the rare occation (Christmas and Easter) when I actually dress up.
Anywho, while wearing these steel reinforced panty hose, I have noticed they rub the top of my thigh ( where there is also an abundance of flab, but no control fabric) Leaving me with “pantyhose burn” which is like rug burn but not as fun to contract!
That is why I only wear a dress 3 times a year!
Lisa H on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:36 pm #
Lori,
I once had the greatest T-Shirt that had a little girl about 5 and her dog standing beside an open oven door with 2 piles of smoke rising from within the obviously”on” oven. The caption read, “Oh no, it looks like we left Ken and Barbie in the sauna too long.” HEE HEE Almost as funny as the flying monkeys!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:43 pm #
Thanks, Emmiebee. I always try to make my heroines women I’d like to be, if not be friends with. Glad you enjoy them. And now that you’ve given me the go ahead, I will be leaving the dog puke to harden. Not that I ever needed an excuse, but it always helps.
Hi, Suzie!
Glad you could stop by. I sympathize about the interview and the substitute teaching. I never made it as a teacher. Those high school students don’t listen half as well as my dogs.
I had so much fun researching and writing Crescent Moon. Glad you liked it.
Lisa, that T-shirt sounds like it belongs in my collection.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:45 pm #
I seem to have bamboozled Claudia into believing that I’ve actually done everything I tell her about in my daily e-mails. She’s so easy.
Let’s see, urban fantasy. I’ve been asked about that alot since I said I was going to start writing it.
Urban fantasy is a continuing series–same heroine in each book. There are paranormal doings and the heroine usually has some special power that enables her to kick ass. There are multiple love interests and the problems and love stories are not solved in one book. I like to think of it as Janet Evanovich for the paranormal.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:57 pm #
I did want to mention that those of you who are interested in the paranormal, the mystique of the full moon etc you might want to sign up for my Full Moon Club at
http://www.lorihandeland.com/club.html
Every month around the full moon I send out a newsletter with spooky werewolf lore (among other things) information on that month’s full moon name and history, a recipe, excerpts from my novelsand news. I also run a monthly contest for a prize through this newsletter, as well as a monthly contest on my website, too.
Gannon on 26 Oct 2007 at 6:50 pm #
Sorry I’m so late to the party, but I’ve been gone all day chaperoning my daughter’s field trip. Woo hoo—time for some wine!
I love all of your books, Lori!! So sorry I missed all the fun today.
claudia dain on 26 Oct 2007 at 7:02 pm #
Oooh, Lori, a heroine who continues on for book after book. I love that! Does the series have a title? Are you getting close or back-to-back release dates?
And I am not easy. I strongly object to having that bandied about on the internet. It was bad enough in…oh, never mind.
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 7:52 pm #
Hey, Gannon, wine sounds good. I think I’ll get some, too. Glad you’re enjoying the books. Hope you had fun on the field trip.
As for the UF series, we don’t have a title yet or any release dates. I’m hoping to have more concrete info on that in the next month or so. I was thinking about The Doomsday Chronicles myself, but haven’t suggested it yet.
I’d like back to back release dates, but that’s going to depend on when they want to release the first book. We shall see. . .
Leah on 26 Oct 2007 at 7:56 pm #
Hey Lori!!! and i love reading paranormal romance books. plus i do a little fanfiction writing of my own for anime series. and the only interruptions i have is my job, my DH and his dog. when i’m at work a read on my breaks and at lunch and i need longer then 15min breaks and hr lunches!!!! when i find a good book or series of books like your night creature novels and the Immortals series by a trio of authors there isn’t enough time to in day for me to sit and read what i’d like accomplish for the day.
Lynn on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:39 pm #
Since we’ve gone on a bit about t-shirts I thought I’d share one of my favorites with you. It says, “Don’t criticize someone until you walk a mile in his shoes, that way if he gets mad, he’ll be a mile away …. and barefoot!”
Thank you Lori for the email telling me about this. It has been such fun and I love reading everyone’s comments. Thank you all.
Sabrina Jeffries on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:57 pm #
I’m kind of late to the party, but it’s only because my day was full of interruptions … as usual! Mostly, they come from Peanut (yes, he weighs 300+ pounds now, but when he was little, he was … well, little, and to be fair, I also call him Pumpkin, which is probably more accurate). Like most teenage autistic boys, Nick is always needing something, and he’s got me well-trained to jump when he shows up at my door. Fortunately, his caregivers have him most of the time … but that doesn’t stop the interruptions from his case worker, his agency liaison, his teacher … Ah, such is life!
Sabrina Jeffries on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:58 pm #
Oh, and welcome, Lori! We’re delighted to have you!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 8:58 pm #
Hi, Leah. Your post reminded me of my first job out of college. I was the receptionist at a wastewater treatment pipe wholesaler. SNORE! I used to go in the bathroom and read so I wouldn’t lose my mind.
Love the T-shirt saying, Lynn. And so true!
Glad you could stop by. Hope you continue to check out the Goddess Blogs everyday. They’re fun!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:00 pm #
Hi, Sabrina! Waving. Sabrina and Claudia plied me with champagne after my RITA win this year. I didn’t get in until 3 am. It was great.
doglady on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:02 pm #
Just got in from the biggest interruption to my day - my day job!!GRR Managers who want to know why the shelves aren’t full (uh, maybe people bought the stuff?)Complaints about people working overtime. Customers who come in at 6PM Friday nite and want a cake for their kid’s birthday Saturday at 8AM! I want to scream “Were you THERE when the kid was born?? Did it just occur to you that his birthday was TOMORROW?”This cake doesn’t look like it is supposed to. “You ordered it over the phone ma’am.” Why does the photo on my cake looks so blurry? “You gave us a photo that looks like it has been sitting in the back window of your car since Truman was president.” Do you have anything fresher? “That bread was baked an hour ago.” Yes, but do you have anything fresher? Hey, boss, the oven just quit again. There is no room in your freezer, where do you want me to put this? (PLEASE don’t ask me to answer that!) I think we gave the Johnsons’ cake to the Johnstons. Godesses, take me away!
doglady on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:03 pm #
Oh and Lori, I LOVE your books!!
Leah on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:37 pm #
Well, wal-mart wouldn’t like it too well if i was readng in the bathroom when i wasn’t on break!!! but i know the feeling of having a 1/4 of the bed to sleep on!!! and that’s just the DH and me without the dog on a queen size bed. when i move i’m getting a bigger bed so hopefully i can have more the 1/4 of the bed to sleep on.
doglady on 26 Oct 2007 at 9:45 pm #
Leah, you work at Wally World too!! My sincere sympathy, my dear!! I run the bakery in our local Wal-Mart! I am hoping and praying that my writing may set me free from Wal-Mart Prison! I don’t have to get rich. If I could make writing what I make at Wal-Mart, I would quit and write full-time in a heartbeat. And Leah and I can tell you, ladies - that ain’t a lot of money!
Lori on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:05 pm #
Thanks, Doglady. Your job sounds interesting. People can be . . . well people, I guess. I was a waitress for 7 years. Could I tell you stories. But I’ve been trying to forget them.
Well, everyone, I’m off to bed. This has been the greatest. I really enjoyed it. Thanks.
Leah on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:06 pm #
doglady, i work at the Ghetto-mart Wal-mart and i’m currently seeking other employment. they don’t pay me enough to put up with the daily BS from the lovely customers who are on drugs and not the legal kind either. and the management team that’s afraid of them. currently i’m working to sue my lovely store. due to unfair treatment. and getting write-ups because management doesn’t understand half these people are on crack. and reading is a big stress relief especially when you deal with crazy people all day long!!
Julia London on 26 Oct 2007 at 10:07 pm #
I think Sherri has a great T-shirt she’s giving away at her website http://www.sherribrowningerwin.com. She wrote the book about the woman who falls in love with the devil, To Hell With Love — and in the book the devil has minions (Lord Byron being one). She has a T-shirt that says “What I really need are minions.”
Sherri Browning Erwin on 27 Oct 2007 at 8:26 pm #
Wow, Julia, thanks for the plug.
Now where *are* my minions? I could use a few extra this week. You can enter until Nov 1, when I’m selecting the winner. It’s a great shirt. Julia knows this because she charmed me into giving her one.