Release Day for Juzie! Pass the Pepto Bismol!
Oct 22nd 2007
Julia LondonOn Writing!
I don’t know how many books you have to write or sell before you can take the release of a book in stride. I am getting better, but I still have a ways to go. Today is the day the third book in the Desperate Debutante series, The Dangers of Deceiving a Viscount, goes on sale. I hope you will pick it up!
In the meantime, I am doing my usual—distracting myself with limericks. What, you’re surprised?
One thing before I get to the limericks: Great minds think alike. When KH suggested we do a goddess bulletin board, a couple of people had already begun to set up a Julia London bulletin board. We want it to be a place where friends and fans and readers alike can hang out—just like this one! Mine launched last week, and to celebrate, I am hosting a contest for aspiring writers (plus a historical smorgasborg giveaway). If you are writing a romance novel, you can win a chance to have your work put in front of my agent. This does not guarantee representation or publication—but the winner gets some thing really valuable-the opportunity to leap frog over hundreds of submissions she gets each week. Please visit my board to read the details, and I hope you register here, too.
Right, so, I have a book coming out, and I like to take my mind off the actual release by doing something completely off the topic of books. Like creative photoshop (Suzie and Ellen, you challenged—I deliver!). And sometimes I dilute my thoughts by making up silly little limericks like this one:
There once was a lady in red
Who had a strange-looking head
It was her face
That didn’t sit great
A tragedy that sent her to bed
Okay, I don’t really make up limericks, but when I saw this picture of Juzie, it sort of sprung to mind.
Want to play along? Make a up a limerick about your favorite goddess—or hell, whatever you want—and the winner gets an autographed copy of The Dangers of Deceiving a Viscount!
75 Comments »
75 Responses to “Release Day for Juzie! Pass the Pepto Bismol!”
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 6:43 am #
There once was a woman named Juzie.
Some thought she was just a floozie.
Now I owe her a drink.
Losing can really stink.
So if I cuss, please excuse me.
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:04 am #
Okay, okay, here’s mine!
There once was a goddess named Karen
Who on her diet today was dispairin’
So she went to the blog
Laughed so hard she did fog
And about chocolate is no longer carin’.
Of course I lie about the chocolate, but it’s a limerick, so what the hey?
Great pic, Juzie. Took me a minute to figure out what you’d done - you’re getting really good at stealing other people’s bodies!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:35 am #
Karen Rose has started a diet
This fact I find a riot
Her Chocolate Carrot Cake
Now seems a big mistake
I dare anyone to deny it.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:39 am #
Ok, I know I can’t compete to win the book (which is fine, because I’m off this afternoon to grab a copy, anyway), but I gotta write a limerick!
Let’s see . . .
There once was a writer from Texas
Who was always threatenin’ to hex us
But she hit the lists big
And her heart danced a jig
Now she’s too busy with her new Lexus!
Ok, the last line lags a bit, but I tried!
(And KarenR, good luck with the diet!)
SuzyQ on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:42 am #
Now I know I’m going to be laughing all day. I’ll have to think on this one.
In the meantime, great job on the Photoshop, Julia! And I’m going to get your book at lunch!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:44 am #
Better bring a “wide load” u-haul if you ever plan on stealing my body.
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:49 am #
Guess what Julz,
I actually bought a copy of your book two days ago in NY at a Barnes & Noble. Guess they’re a bit a fast on the release.
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:51 am #
Uncle! Uncle! I humbly concede this battlefield to Ellen, because I deserved it after evilly taunting her with CHOCOLATE CARROT CAKE when she’d just started Jenny Craig. Plus, I have to write today and I can’t be spending all morning composing one-up limericks that would surely overshadow hers. Hmmm…. Like this one:
There once was a goddess named Elleeeen
Whose comments were always a scream
But today she did try
To make goddess Karen cry
But for Karen’s evil she can only dream.
Top that, Elleeeen.
Must go kill people in the book now! Happy limericking all!
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:54 am #
And I know I can’t win a copy of the book. But I’ve always been a limerick girl. All the other poetry makes my eyes cross. (Sorry, poets!)
Karen H, thanks for the encouragement and great Texas limerick!
Julia - you have a new Lexus? Cool!
cail on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:59 am #
there is no way i’ll win this one, since if there is one thing i’m awful at its limericks.
Instead, i’ll go out and buy your book at lunch, since i’ve been thinking about it for a week!
freshechelle on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:08 am #
Julia’s photoshopping slays me!!!! I can’t write a limerick today but thanks for almost making me laugh out loud in a meeting I’m supposed to be leading. I’m so fired.
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:22 am #
LOL…Karen Rose…you win. Think of me when you kill a few today. I have your latest, and can’t wait to start reading it.
For you, my dear.
There once was a Master, Karen Rose
Whose Novels were never a Doze
If you read them in Bed
You’ll be haunted by the Dead
And be thrilled from you head to your toes.
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:29 am #
Awwwww.
I’m working on readying the blog for our Friday guest goddess, Lori Handeland, and popped in for one more look before diving into my book. I’m glad I did!
Thank you, Ellen. Hope DIE FOR ME scares the pants off you!
There once was a goddess named Elleeen
Who today surely will scream
She’s such a great sport
We love her and her retorts
But tonight of evil villains she will dream
Sleep tight, oh python wielding foe! May every nun in Christendom shake in her shoes.
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:30 am #
Julia, I hope we’re taking your mind off your opening day jitters. I know VICOUNT will be a big hit. I’m going out today to buy my copy!
Julia London on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:31 am #
Ohmigosh, you guys rattle these off so fast and easy! It took me forever to get my limerick right.
Karen R, I did not get a new Lexus. I think its the only word that rhymes with Texas, LOL
Fresh, I didn’t mean to get you fired!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:35 am #
After this one, I gotta get some work done. I know my thoughts will be tortured all day with lymerics! Thanks much, Julia. I owe you.
There once was a lovely red sweater
That fit Suzzane to the letter
But with its new face
That is no longer the case
Having a neck had made it look better.
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:44 am #
Gotta recharge the batteries now. I’ll check in later. Julia…good luck today. You don’t have a thing to worry about.
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:52 am #
Damn…I can’t stop
There once was a writer from Texas
Who was unfortunate in picking her exes
We beat him with a stick
and cut off his his ugly *ick
A victory for all the sexes.
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:59 am #
There once was a goddess named Juzie
And damn, was she a real doozie
She’d cut out her face
Glue it all over the place
Even on top of dear friend, Suzie
Karen Hawkins on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:00 am #
I retract the Lexus! I retract the Lexus! Julia’s right, it was the only word I could think to rhyme with Texas.
Lame, aren’t I? But at least I made it work!!!!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:00 am #
“Step away from the Blog!”
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:09 am #
There once was a dope named Ellen
Who proved she sucked at spellin’
She spelled limerick with a Y
It was her brain’s best try
Her IQ should be a felon
Nicole Jordan on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:21 am #
I don’t do limericks
because I’m so bad.
Mine would make you cry
they are so sad.
I tried to think
but it all just stinks.
But Juzie’s book
I will definitely pick up!
Ok, this leaves a lot to be desired. But Ellen and both Karen’s - yours are great! I wish I had your talent.
And I can’t wait to read Dangers! Do y’all know it got a starred review in Publisher’s Weekly!! That is very rare, especially for a romance.
Sherri Erwin on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:42 am #
A goddess you all think divine
started out just wanting to whine
Though she climbed to Mt. Oly
she still thinks it’s folly
til we all cry “But Julia, your book will do fine!”
It’s not that she needs reassurance
but she craves the long haul endurance
she fears we’ll abort her
from the bestseller lists that support her
and she’ll end up waiting tables at Rudy’s Steak Ranch
(okay, endurance, steak ranch, I had to force the rhyme a tad).
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:49 am #
There is a book about Phoebe
That I want to win as a freebie
Written by Juzie
Who’s now feeling woozy
Pepto will take care of the heebie
Julia London on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:55 am #
hahahaaaa….these are great! Its going to be so hard to choose!
BTW, Sherri, Rudy’s is a drive in BBQ joint, not a steak house. Big difference.
doglady on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:11 am #
I am glad I am off today, because I have a feeling this blog will keep me laughing all day!! Love the photo, Julia. And Ellen, honey, NASA does not have enough power to allow our Goddess Julia to steal my body! Here is my limerick and the appropriate Goddess will no doubt out herself!
There once was a Goddess named Karen,
Who had a singular talent, a rare one.
She could spew Diet Coke thru her nose
Or so the story goes,
Especially if the story was a lewd one!
Not great, but you know who you are Karen!!
I am off to write, but I will return when the limerick muse smacks me again!
Congrats on the release, Julia! I cannot wait to read it!
Sherri Erwin on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:14 am #
I know, but BBQ joint didn’t even come close to the rhyme. Just like you’ll never come close to having to don an apron there. Nyah!
Sherri Erwin on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:18 am #
Of course, many days, Rudy’s seems like the better gig. Steady pay and smiles of appreciation when you dish up a big plate of ribs… I wonder if they offer an employee discount. Hmmm.
Suzanne Enoch on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:34 am #
Ya know, I didn’t sleep well last night because of the Santa Ana winds, and then I wake up this morning and look at the blog, and I think man, I did have a rough night, because even my picture looks strangely defor — hey, wait a minute!!
Snort.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:07 am #
Diet coke? Through the nose? I have no idea who you are talking about unless— Karen ROSE? Karen ROSE, have you been spewing diet coke through your nose, AGAIN?
Suzie, isn’t that funny? I wonder if I can bride Julia to put my face on Angelina Jolie’s body. Bet she’d do it for a margarita.
KarenH
doglady on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:28 am #
There once was a Goddess named Julia
Don’t let her innocent look fool ya
She’s a real body snatcher.
The cops’ll never catch her.
Don’t ya wish she’d snatch Hugh Jackman for ya???
Darla on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:43 am #
There once was a reader named Darla
who loved books so much it’d scar ya
if you did know to what lengths she may go
to obtain that new book from the Julia!
What??? Its supposed to make sense? LOL
Lisa H on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:46 am #
Dear Julia, Just love your new bulletin board! I am also looking forward to having The Dangers of Deceiving a Viscount in my chubby little hands!
Today I am too tired to rhyme
I wish I could, but I have no time
With three kids and two cats
I wear so many hats
I fear scurvy so I must eat limes
If I could write a poem it would say
I love to check Godess Blogs each day
They make me laugh hard
Ellen sure is a card
Wait—I think I might be on my way
The Fros you all post are a hoot
Like half naked cowboys in boots
Their bodies so hard and defined
Make me fall to my knees an cry
And wish Judy had more of that loot
Lisa H on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:47 am #
Heh..heh…heh…
SuzyQ on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:50 am #
There once was a goddess with flair
Whose Photoshop skills can’t compare
Another offered a bribe
To get Angelina’s vibe
And it was done for a margarita, I declare!
Julia London on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:51 am #
Suz, I thought I’d look so good in red. :-(.
I am digging these limericks! You guys are so clever!
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:51 am #
I think we should all try to use our faces and apply to others bodies. I just want my 20 yr old body back with my 43yr old brain in it!
lol
SuzyQ on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:52 am #
Very good, Lisa H!
Suzanne Enoch on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:55 am #
Julia, I think you look better than me in that pic. *g*
Sabrina Jeffries on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:00 pm #
I’m with YOU, Cookiedough–I want to keep the old brain but have my young body back. Can that be done? Hmm, I feel a limerick coming on …
There once was a goddess named Suzie
Who was feeling a tiny bit woozie
Her body was snatched
By Julia, natch,
And now she feels like a floozie!
Hee, hee. I love limericks.
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:08 pm #
hahaha! I LOVE that one Sabrina!
I’ve come back to the blog so many times to read the new rhymes!
and gasp! I’m almost out of Diet Coke! I have the caffeine-free stuff still ,but who wants that?
I don’t think I’ve ever snorted it through my nose. that would be painful
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:17 pm #
Okay, I’m back from taking oldest goddessling to the doctor and we worked on limericks in the car. I really wanted to write one in the more “traditional” style. We can’t go all day without a limerick using “Nantucket.” I must say.
The Goddess was not from Nantucket
Fine brows she did want so she plucked it
One day she did slip
And her carotid did rip
And the Goddess, she did kick the bucket.
I LOVE limericks. Snicker.
(PS, If you “The Goddess” for any 2 syllable name like Karen, Juzie, or even ELLEN, it works too. Just sayin’.)
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:19 pm #
I have never spewed diet Coke through my nose. I drink TAB which would burn like holy fire were it ever to emerge through the nasal cavity. I know this from past experience and that’s all I’m sayin’.
Lisa H on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:47 pm #
You know, Karen R., perhaps you could kill off one of your evil villains with Tab through the nasal cavity?
When the publisher asks whats unique about your book, you will have a winner!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:55 pm #
Ellen came home from Nantucket
A thousand limericks she carried in a bucket
As she tried to sort through
The only thing left to do
Was throw in the towel and say “F*#k It!
The competition is too stiff today girls. I bow out gracefully.
Karen H…from what we all saw through your tranparent blouse, Angelina has nothing on you. Be happy girl!
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:56 pm #
You guys are a hoot!
Lisa H on 23 Oct 2007 at 1:03 pm #
Angelina looks like she needs to be adopted by someone who will feed her—maybe a nice Italian family.
Julia London on 23 Oct 2007 at 1:21 pm #
Suzie, you are gorgeous in that picture. I’m just sorry I ruined it. Wait…no I’m not :-). And now, according to Sabrina, you’re a floozy! hahaha!
I love limerick day! I have just laughed and laughed — thanks, you guys!
KariE on 23 Oct 2007 at 2:13 pm #
There once was a girl named Kari
Who sat waiting for the TDDV book fairy
The days she has waited
She now is elated
For now she can sit on her ass and read it!
That’s all I got. Sad I know.
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 2:52 pm #
The goddesses live on Olympus
Where nymphs sit around and do primp us
Our hair they do curl
As margaritas we swirl
While our agents are working to pimp us.
Keri Ford on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:03 pm #
There once was a girl with a passion
Fear of loosing her books could turn her face ashen
Cover-to-Cover is how she reads
Interrupt and you’ll see how you bleed
Now her cards are full and the debtors are threatening a lashing!
Keri Ford on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:04 pm #
Julia, excellent work on the picture! I wonder if that’s the look Suzie agent was hoping for?
colinfirthfan on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:07 pm #
I’m a Colin Firth fan, she confessed
And my wasn’t she obsessed
But now that she’s older
She’s gotten much bolder
And is lusting after young men instead!
I really suck at limericks
I’m horrible at gimmicks
These limericks are a laugh
Mine’s not well done by half
I throw in the towel to the mimics.
I couldn’t resist!!
What rhymes with limerick?
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:12 pm #
arsenic?
carsick?
dropkick? hahah
colinfirthfan on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:14 pm #
Oh I like arsenic. I shld change the last line to “It makes me want to take some arsenic”
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:18 pm #
When challenged to write a good limerick
I admit to getting a bit carsick
I don’t handle pressure
I’m much too demure
all this rhyming is making me frantic!
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:19 pm #
or…
my colon’s now getting all spastic!
Cookiedough on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:21 pm #
demure? me? lol
I once got Chippendale dancers to sign my T shirted chest. one was actually too shy and signed my back! lol
ct009ct on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:33 pm #
There once was a girl who wrote books,
who spent release day on tender hooks,
she passed the whole day
laughing worries away,
reading humorous limericks by cooks?
(that’s assuming most goddesses can cook, we just choose not to.)
AnnaSwede on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:39 pm #
There was a young lady from Kent
whose bad luck had been overspent.
She survived the neighbourhood,
and her bad luck turned to good,
when a romance writer a hero her sent.
colinfirthfan on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:59 pm #
lol CookieD!
ladydawgfan on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:59 pm #
A book from a Goddesss named Juzie??
M’dear, I beg you, PLEASE choose me!!
I would LOVE a signed book
And I even know how to cook
(Tho’ I admit some recipes can confuse me).
By the by, you won’t need any Pepto.
I grabbed your book (and no, I am NOT a klepto!)
I am reading it now
and it’s wonderful, AND HOW!!!
But what rhymes with klepto and Pepto?
Thus ends my “Lyricca Bizarro”
And we’ll find out the winner tomorrow.
Who will win the signed book
While the rest of us look
And then drink ourselves out of our sorrow?!!
(Hope it’s me!!!
)
Karen Rose on 23 Oct 2007 at 4:06 pm #
Wow, Ladydawgfan, I am truly impressed.
Ct009ct - I can’t cook. I guess I could physically make food, but ingesting it is barred by the Geneva Convention…
AnnaSwede on 23 Oct 2007 at 4:28 pm #
I’m a big fan from good ole’ Swede.
Listen to me when I now plead:
Your books can in Sweden not be boguht.
That makes me very sad and distraught.
Please give me something new to read!
(Sorry ’bout the shameless begging…
)
Ann in IL on 23 Oct 2007 at 4:45 pm #
AnnaSwede, Wow. Really? Sweden? How may other Goddesses are International readers?
Ellen, Ellen, Ellen…………you are a treasure. I always laugh out loud at your comments, but that last limmerick was priceless. Where do you live? We should meet and swap nun stories.
Karen H………..any chance of that Goddess Gathering in KC?
It's on Ellen on 23 Oct 2007 at 5:05 pm #
Wow to Lisa H, Cookiedough and ladydogfan..I am impressed.
Thanks Annie…I live in NY and can always make myself available for margaritas and nun story swapping.
Lisa H on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:04 pm #
Thank you Ellen. I have laughed so much today! Thank you everyone for all the great lymricks. We are so good we should compile these for a book!
Julia London on 23 Oct 2007 at 8:39 pm #
Oh man, this is so hard to choose! I loved them all — I laughed all day to day, and I honestly didn’t worry about The Book. I owe you guys!
Okay, after much deliberation, the winner is……Ladydawgfan!
Ellen was a close second with sheer volume of pithy and funny limericks — m y hat is off to you, girlfriend, for being so quick and clever all at once.
Karen R gets an honorable mention for the same reason. Love that she actually killed a goddess in hers.
All of them were so good, and you are all such good sports! Especially Suzie, for not slitting her wrists when she saw my picture on her beautiful photo.
Ladydawg, email me at julia@julialondon.com with your name and snail mail, and I will mail the book right away - Juzie
doglady on 23 Oct 2007 at 9:04 pm #
Kudos ladydawgfan!! That was truly a masterpiece of a limerick. This was definitely an entertaining day to be off work!
ladydawgfan on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:02 pm #
Oooooh, Thanks, Juzie!!! This whole thread has been a lot of fun to read!!! I ‘m thrilled you liked my contribution.
Thanks again,
LDF
SuzyQ on 24 Oct 2007 at 9:03 am #
Congrats ladydawgfan! Well deserved!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Oct 2007 at 9:14 am #
HEY! What about MY limerick?
Well, it wasn’t as good as ladydawgfan’s or Ellen’s, it came from my heart. Or a region near my heart, anyway. I usually save my heart for oh, reading books ‘n stuff. Like yours.
Btw, Juzie, I have your book! Had to rattle chains at my local B & N, but they went in the back and got it out. Said they were doing it later in the afternoon, to which I replied, “Yeah, well, I’m not going to be here later, sweetcheeks, so if you don’t want me to go to the Waldens in mall, I suggest you find that $#(*&#$ box!”
SuzyQ on 25 Oct 2007 at 10:02 am #
Why do the bookstores do that? Wait until late in the day to put the books out? When I go at lunch I want it now! I always have to have them go in the back to get my book - so annoying!!!
BeatriceYoung on 24 Mar 2008 at 11:42 am #
My mother in law is a hag
Her dressing is hideously drab
She commands to and fro
Always keeps me in tow
My brow’s sweating, please fetch me a rag
I think that many of us here can relate to this…