Ode To Suzanne Enoch, The Best Romance Author In The World (#1)
Oct 17th 2007
Karen HawkinsWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
Written by Author Karen Hawkins After Losing a Wager with Said Best Romance Author in the World, Suzanne Enoch (#2)
Here I sit, sad and blue
Cause I lost a wager to You-Know-Who
So now I must grovel, in public no less
Telling one and all Ms Suzie’s the best. (#3)
I say this now, without disdain,
Our lovely Ms. Suzie’s no ordinary Jane
(refer to actual S. E. brain scan to left)
And she said that this wager cannot end
Until I’ve said she’s the best x 10. (#4)
Oh, Ms. Suzanne Enoch, the best romance author of all! (#5)
She’s brilliant, the best, (#6) most magnificent, and oh so tall!
And I have to say, though it makes me raw,
Her heroines are the belles of London’s best balls!
But my favorite part of Enoch’s perfection, (#7)
Are her heroes, who are quite a confection!
They’re handsome and dark, and very witty!
I daresay a few would even laugh at this ditty!
(Ok, that was lame, but I’m getting tired. Work with me here, people!)
Oh Suzie, you’re the best! (#8)
The very, very best in the west! (#9)
And the east, as well! (#10)
There, that’s ten. Now you can go to—
Ahem!
It’s true that I lost a bet with Suzie. Sometimes, to motivate myself, I challenge other authors to page count races. So last week, Suzie and I went for the gold and she SPANKED me. I won’t tell you how many pages she tromped me by, but it was embarrassing.
But I have to admit that it was fun racing her, taunting her via email, egging her on, pretending I’d written more pages than I had just to hear that little note of panic in her voice . . .
Tell me, are your officemates fun to tease, too? Or are they boring? Is there a lot of laughter in your office, or just . . . silence? Most important of all, what do you think of my poetry skills? Oh, and don’t forget to give Ms. Enoch a hearty congrats because her latest book, A TOUCH OF MINX, just went back to print!!! WOOHOO!!! 
49 Comments »
49 Responses to “Ode To Suzanne Enoch, The Best Romance Author In The World (#1)”
Karen Hawkins on 18 Oct 2007 at 5:45 am #
I apoogize for my digression into profanity, the mark of poor writing, but my ryhmer pooped out about two stanzas ago.
Sigh. The messes I get myself into!
Karen Hawkins on 18 Oct 2007 at 5:56 am #
That would be ‘apologize’ and not ‘apoogize.’ I am traveling to NY today to have lunch with my editor and my cell phone ‘L’ doesn’t always click when it should.
Sigh.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:19 am #
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I’m no poet laureate
and neither are you.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:21 am #
If my frankness is painful, I sincerely apoogize.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 7:01 am #
And by the way…Miss Julia’s Blog yesterday, about Suzanne deserving praise…quite insightful, Oui?
doglady on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:18 am #
Dear Karen, Your little ditty was quite witty. Okay, there you have it, the extent of my poetry acumen. Both ladies are worthy of praise for smart heroines and yummy heroes.
I have a far better relationship with my critique partners than I do with the people at work. My CPs and I are constantly egging each other on to higher and higher word counts. Marianne, the mistress of our group Passion’s Slaves, is constantly cracking the wet noodle at us. We have to post a daily word count on TIME SERVED and we have to post an excerpt affectionately known as POOP - Proof of Our Prose. Imagine e-mails rife with “Have you pooped today?” “Are you going to poop today?” “That was some great poop yesterday.”
In spite of the fact that we are confined in the bakery and not in the main store, working at Wal-mart is a trying endeavor these days as the company is trying to do more with less - putting a strain on everyone. However, we do make a game of critiquing what our customers wear to shop!! EEK!
Sherri Erwin on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:27 am #
Congratulations, Suzanne- on spanking Karen H and on going back to print. Well done! Karen H, nice work. Have you ever considered writing a poet character so you can work some of your masterpieces into your books? That could be interesting.
My office is too quiet. Maybe I need to taunt Julia London into a page count race.
Tracy Kay on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:35 am #
I don’t really work in an office setting, but at the restaraunt I work for, we tease and taunt each other all the time. It’s so much fun there. We’re always laughing and those people are about the furthest thing from boring. :o)
Oh and Karen, although your poetry was absolutely breathtaking, I enjoy your books so much more :o)
haha really though, the poetry was fine - better than I could’ve done, especially if I had to praise someone 10 times in the midst of it.
Karen Hawkins on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:43 am #
Oh I am SO not a poet, though I love to read it. All of your ‘you suck at poetry’ comments are deserved! I daresay Suzie will be giggling when she sees just how bad it is, too.
Its funny about workplaces. So much of your time is spent there that it’s important that if you don’t like the work, you at least should like the people. And people like the talented Ms. E make my job all the more fun.
Julia London on 18 Oct 2007 at 9:10 am #
You know….I don’t think it sings Suzie’s praises quite loudly or high enough. I think you should try again, Karen. Something with a little more oomph. Something that just sings off the page. Something that would make us want to turn it into a song.
Come on. Keep trying. See if you can reach the higher literary plane where Suzie lives.
Darla on 18 Oct 2007 at 9:14 am #
I don’t know does #10 actually count since you didn’t use the word BEST??? LOL
Loved the ODE to Greatness!
Nicole Jordan on 18 Oct 2007 at 9:32 am #
Delightful, KarenH! I’ll be Suzanne will consider this proper enough praise.
And congrats, Suz, on both the page count and the new print run!
Claudia Dain on 18 Oct 2007 at 9:40 am #
Well, I’m impressed by both of you. I can’t come up with any sort of jingle and if commanded to do so, BRAIN FREEZE. Suzie, heartiest congrats on trouncing Karen into the pavement, especially since she was lying about her page count and getting you all panicky.
Although, it does prove that panic does produce pages.
Do I get points for alliteration?
Sabrina Jeffries on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:03 am #
I never will
Take on the Karen
Because my wit
Is often barren.
But if I should
Consider that bet
You’d better believe
I’d make her sweat.
Because her public
Apology
Is so much fun
It makes me squeeee ….
Karen Hawkins aka Lady Byron on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:03 am #
I knew London would gloat. I just KNEW it. Dagnabbit. I shall ignore her attempts to malign my lofty endeavors! Begone Foul London! Begone! Thy buzzing brew is scarcely worthy of mine attentions!
Nicole, you are ever too kind!
And yes, Claudia, alliteration counts. I count it all. rhyming, big words, aliteration, working the word ‘doofus’ into a verse without anyone knowing. All of it gets points on the LadyByronOMeter.
Sabrina Jeffries on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:05 am #
Oh, and yes, Suzie is brilliant. What were you thinking to take her on? You know she’ll win just to see you have to grovel in public. She’s wicked like that.
I say this in love. And without an ounce of verse either.
Karen Hawkins aka Lady Byron on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:07 am #
Darla, thanks. Ever. So. Much. I am sure Suzie will appreciate your riveting attention to detail.
Sabrina, you’re a natural! You may join the Lady Byron Society. You have my permission.
SuzyQ on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:15 am #
Well, if we’re getting picky, #7 didn’t use the word “best” either . . .
SuzyQ on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:19 am #
Karen - all in all I think you did a fine job in your “Ode to Suzanne” although I would think twice about taking her on again. LOL!
As for the workplace, I work with a great bunch of people. We are locked away in a computer room so we can get a little stir crazy at times. People often wonder what goes on behind those security doors with the halon warnings posted on them. Ahh if they only knew . . .
Julia London on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:41 am #
Darla and Suzy Q, you are right. the word BEST is nowhere in 7 or 10, which I think disqualifies Lady Byron from having paid her debt!
Suzanne Enoch on 18 Oct 2007 at 10:57 am #
Snort, choke, choke, guffaw, gurgle, snarf, haw haw, chortle, choke, choke.
Suzanne Enoch on 18 Oct 2007 at 11:00 am #
(Clearing my throat) Dearest Karen and all my legions of fans,
How wonderful that you have very nearly captured my greatness.
I know what a daunting task it must have been.
I would have responded earlier,
but being a goddess and victorious, I slept in.
Lisa H on 18 Oct 2007 at 11:39 am #
Suzanne, You are an incredible writer, I have read several of your masterpieces. But I must add, Karen you are hilarious! I prefer your poetry to Byron’s. I’d rather laugh then try to imagine myself in a quiet place. Keep going with your poetry, I look forward to hearing more.
doglady—I love you P.O.O.P. that is so funny. I will have to suggest that in my critique group!
Emmiebee on 18 Oct 2007 at 11:51 am #
Ah, yes, the poem was wonderful- BUT, it lacked in the delivery. I feel that a Naked Hugh Jackman Poem-O-Gram at Suzanne’s door, viedotaped and youtubed for the rest of us, would much better fulfil the spirit of this bet.
Heh.
-Emmiebee
cail on 18 Oct 2007 at 12:00 pm #
Emmiebee, that is really really brilliant.
I’m not so great with poetry, but while you goddesses might not be brilliant poets you certainly are romance novel goddesses, as i am currently carrying at least two of the different goddesses books in my purse.
ah, backlists.
colinfirthfan on 18 Oct 2007 at 12:07 pm #
KarenH, I liked your poem! I liked Sabrina’s took.
I work in a huge software company. It is fun at times. I pop into my boss’s office to share jokes or funny stories or pop into a few of my colleagues office to chat. We have 3 parties in the next 2 weeks and one last week. I enjoy working here.
My DH works at the same company on a different floor. We meet nearly everyday for lunch. Sometimes we just walk to the cafeteria, pick up lunch and return to our respective offices to work. Sometimes we eat out…. depends on our schedules. I like our lunchtime dates …. no kids to interrupt our conversation.
Keri Ford on 18 Oct 2007 at 12:16 pm #
Susie and Karen sat at their keys,
On three their fingers moved like bees.
Oh, Wow!
Look at Susie go!
Karen can’t see Susie’s dust.
Mudslinging left her page count to rust!
Pumping out pages at a pace so frisky,
Somebody better refill the whiskey.
Now they’re finished with their test,
And Susie! She’s the Best!
catslady on 18 Oct 2007 at 1:24 pm #
roflmao I love everyone’s poems!
Cookiedough on 18 Oct 2007 at 2:17 pm #
There once were two scribes of romance
Whose tomes did simply entrance
During a page race one day
Suzanne stole it away
And poor Karen did not stand a chance!
Cookiedough on 18 Oct 2007 at 2:24 pm #
As for laughing it up at work, There are many days full of silliness.
I’m not above looking weird for the sake of a child having fun.
I once dressed up as a bunch of grapes to escort two kids trick or treating. I was 32.
and many is the time I let my hair go to pot because I let a little girl play hairdresser- hiding all scissors of course
Suzanne -congrats on the book’s second printing! It is such a great book, and I’m glad lots of people are getting to read it!
Karen Hawkins aka The Former Lady Byron on 18 Oct 2007 at 4:01 pm #
I, Karen Hawkins, having been brutally smok’d by Ms. Enoch and then mercilessly roast’d by the residents of Mt. Olympus, do hereby renounce my title of Lady Byron.
You guys rock. What creativity! What poetry!
And some of you work in some awesome places, too.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 4:02 pm #
Cookiedough…you win! LOL Everyone is so talented.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 4:04 pm #
Hope you enjoyed NYC today Karen. It was a beautiful day here. I had to drive up through CT and let me tell you…the fall foliage was incredible. It almost made me forget I was working.
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 4:45 pm #
This will make it painfully obvious, that above “roses are red” I am screwed!
(ahem)
“What must I do to beat Suzanne
This test, I really must win.
I’ll lie about
my daily word count
Wearing a blouse that shows some skin.
If that doesn’t work, I’ll fib some more
Eventually, Miss Suzie will break.
If not, alas,
I’ll have no choice
But to dump her body in the lake.
I can’t do that, I must prevail
How many words a day can I write?
She cannot win
No matter what
Chocolate Cake? Okay, just a bite.
Oh merciful friends, it can’t be true
She has proven herself the best.
Be gentle, I pray
I feel so forlorn
Chocolate Cake? Sure, be my guest.”
Cookiedough on 18 Oct 2007 at 5:24 pm #
lol! Ellen!
colinfirthfan on 18 Oct 2007 at 5:36 pm #
Ellen, that was awesome!! I loved it!!
I vote you as the new Lady Byron!!
Lisa H on 18 Oct 2007 at 5:59 pm #
Ode to Ellen
There once was a funny gal named Ellen
Whose fragrence was not bad for smellin’
She made all of us laugh
I pulled a muscle in my calf
And now here’s a poem thats not sellin’
Pretty bad, huh!
Lisa H on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:05 pm #
Karen H,
Couldn’t you have found a more creative way to rhyme “balls” in #6? Just asking…
Po' Karen Hawkins! on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:16 pm #
Ellen, I dub thee the New Lady Byron.
Guys, thanx for immortalizing my defeat in prose. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.
No. Really. I do.
As for ‘balls,’ I actually thought of a bunch of raunchier versions, but I thought Suzanne might protesteth. She does write about Saints, you know. That clevah gal!
(Suzie, I hope you appreciate this!)
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:29 pm #
Let’s not roast Ms. Hawkins too much. After all, shouldn’t she receive alliteration points for saying “Best Balls?”
I still vote Cookiedough Lady Byron. She used rhyme and big words like scribes and tomes.
WAIT…I can steal from all of you.
(Ahem)
I have always been a darling doofus,
A true failure to all my scribes.
Tomorrow I’ll follow my doctor’s dictate
And take the pills he always prescribes.
(If dictate is considered a big word, this might meet all of Karen’s criteria… LOL)
Suzanne Enoch on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:33 pm #
Oh, I definitely appreciate the amount of restraint you must have used, KarenH. Trust me on that. *g*
Ellen Laureate on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:34 pm #
Congrats to both Karen and Suzi. I’m sure you brought the best out in each other this week. And if anyone wants to have a diet contest, I lost 47 pounds this week. (wink wink KH)
Karen H aka 'Truth Stretcher' on 18 Oct 2007 at 6:45 pm #
I can see the maxim of the day is No Truth Shall Go Unpunished.
Ellen, you’re a card! Take those pills, darlin”, cause we want you here and grinning on Mt O forever!
Santa on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:48 pm #
Who knew this was such a group of righteous radial rhymers! It’s been years since I ran poetic but I do adore alliteration.
Karen, that was quite an Ode to the prolific writer that is Suzanne. I know better than to challenge anyone to a page count contest!
And congrats to Ellen Laureate!
Darla on 19 Oct 2007 at 10:30 am #
Congrats to all those who now have promising lines to a new poetry career! LOL I just loved all the rhyming!
Now we need to pick a subject and have a poetry contest!
This has nothing at all to do with the discussion but I am so happy today I just can’t help it! I got on the scales this morning at the gym and am now the proud loser of 30 total lbs so far in my weight fight!
WOO HOO!!!
Karen Hawkins on 19 Oct 2007 at 3:55 pm #
OH sheesh, 30 lbs is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
Congrats and I hope you celebrated with something special like a great massage! WOOHOO!!!!
TinaLouiseF on 20 Oct 2007 at 12:27 am #
Congrats on another printing
darkshire007 on 21 Oct 2007 at 4:29 pm #
Let me wipe the tears of laughter away so that I can type! LOL! These were great! Yes, we laugh and tease at work but most of the content is of a sort that I cannot write it here. Sixty men, three women. Yeah, you have to be able to hold your own in a conversation.
Sherri on 29 Oct 2007 at 7:49 pm #
Fun at work? My workplace is an absolute riot…we have to keep a great sense of humor or we’d die of insanity. I teach in a middle school holding over 750 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students. My colleagues, my best friends I should say, always manage to have a good laugh every day. A cold beer on payday Fridays always helps, too.