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Kids & the Single Girl

Sep 12th 2007Suzanne Enoch
Suzanne EnochMy Life As A Plebe & On Writing!

nerds.gifAs a teenager, I was a nerd. (Okay, I’m still a nerd, but stay with me.) I spent most of my evenings doing homework or reading, or taping Battlestar Galactica with a tape recorder (before VCRs). The three girls in my family are a total of four years apart in age. The point being, I never babysat in my life. Never.

In my twenties, small children made me nervous. They might ask questions for which I had no answers. Were you allowed to lie to them? Would it screw them up if an adult said “I don’t know” to something? Fictional kids, I could deal with. I liked writing kids. I still do. They’re almost as fun as rakes.diaper.jpg

And then my youngest sister got married. She’s now the mother of two boys, aged 1 3/4 and 5 ½. I have now changed poopy diapers, wiped goopy noses, and caught baby barf in my bare hands. I’ve been the recipient of grasshoppers and secrets about toilet-paper-roll and tape birthday presents.

babysitter.jpgI’m babysitting tonight, so mommy and daddy can go to the oldest’s kindergarten back-to-school night. I have the essentials ready: washable color markers, Play-Doh, and the Geotrax train set that’s spread over half my family-room floor.

Were you a babysitter? Did you ever go through that nervous stage when you were around kids? If you’re a mom, was it an easy role to fall into, or were you dragged kicking and screaming?cherub.jpg

45 Comments »

45 Responses to “Kids & the Single Girl”

  1. Aspen on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:41 am #

    I like kids in the abstract. There great to coo at behind the glass at “the baby gallary” in the hospitals Labor and Delivery section. They look great on warm and fuzzy greeting cards. I especially like that one photographer who dresses newborns up like ladybugs or places them in a flowering pot. (Do you know eho I mean? Adorable! Just DON”T hand me one!
    I am REALLY looking forward to your new book coming out September 25th! A Touch of Minx. I can’t see Sam being the maternal sort. How healthy is it for the baby to hang outside ten story buildings and such.
    LOL
    Aspen
    P.s. My mom is positively horrified of possibly being jipped grand babies.

  2. dbrown3400 on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:53 am #

    I raised four younger brothers for two reasons. 1) My mother worked and 2) She really rather I did it. You would think I would hate to baby sit. Au contraire. I made all my spending money as a teenager and throughout college as a babysitter. In fact, at Rice, I got all the profs and the Dean’s difficult children, because I wouldn’t take the kids’ crap and they knew it.

    I love young children because they’ve not reached, for the most part, a jaded look on life that many do today. I tend to encounter those who have no work ethic, don’t care about school and have no ambition. I was trying to show one young man who works after school at our store how to work with customers and he flat told me he didn’t care and didn’t want to learn. I never minded the messes diapers, etc., I guess because I had such early training. I was fascinated by the rapid deveopment of babies.

  3. dbrown3400 on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:53 am #

    I have the two girls and am looking forward to being a grandmother today as both girls are great with small childrem.

  4. Sherri Erwin on 12 Sep 2007 at 5:24 am #

    I’ve always been comfortable with babies. I played with dolls until I was too old for them. I had a sister born when I was thirteen and I took an active role in corrupting- I mean, caring- for her. I’m a natural with a baby in my arms and with little ones. It’s teenagers that are causing me to question my instincts. Teenagers! And my daughter is just the opposite of me. She keeps away from babies and has declared that if she ever has any, they are being shipped to my house until age 8 or so. LOL!

  5. Stacy S on 12 Sep 2007 at 5:29 am #

    I always liked kids. When I was a teen, I would babysit til I got a regular job. Now I have 1 10 1/2 boy.

  6. Stacy ~ on 12 Sep 2007 at 5:35 am #

    I’ve mostly felt comfortable around kids, though I didn’t really babysit a lot as a teen. I really became pretty good at it when my friend Becky started having kids - she has 3 and the oldest is 13. Having been there through the diapers and feeding and all that, I feel pretty comfortable around kids.

  7. Lisa H on 12 Sep 2007 at 6:19 am #

    I was always a babysitter, I had a brother 6 years younger than me and so I was roped into to watching him all the time.

    When I became a teenager, I babysat as much as possible. I enjoyed the kids and I enjoyed making money.

    I continued to babysit as an adult from time to time, until I had kids of my own—then it stopped.

    With kids of my own here I have discovered I HATE watching other peoples kids. If the other kids are bratty, my kids have to put up with it and vice versa. It is way too much stress for me, so I now say sorry, I don’t watch other people’s kids any more.

    I will make you a dinner, lend you my car, give you some money or donate my kidney, but don’t ask me to watch your kids.

  8. Keri Ford on 12 Sep 2007 at 6:31 am #

    I was the youngest sibling and I never babysat. I had no interest in it at all. I knew better than to say I could care for another humanbeing. I was too active for that.

    And then I got pregnant, mind you, at this point, I’ve changed maybe one diaper in my life and it was wet. Throughout the pregnancy I worried over how I would do things, how I would hold the baby, ect. I tried not to think about it too much because that just worried me more.

    Then he came and it all just clicked into place. It is really amazing how all those instincts just click into place.

  9. Karen Rose on 12 Sep 2007 at 7:36 am #

    I like little kids - a few at a time. Before I started teaching high school, I subbed for a few months, mostly at the elementary level. Third grade and above, I liked. The kids were independent for the most part and could grasp the more complex cognitive concepts. And when they said “Why?” it was generally because they wanted to know, not because they wanted to drive me nutso.

    Subbing for for 2nd graders was harder. The day I subbed for 1st graders I went home in tears. They were horrible! One day I subbed for pre-K. I still shudder at the memory. Teacher (whiiiiine), I gotta potty. Teacher, wipe my nose. Teacher, he looked at me. Teacher, she took my toy..

    TEACHER! Teacher pulled out her hair by its newly colored roots.

    So I like kids, but not in posses. I will babysit OPKs (other people’s kids), but no more than two at a time.

  10. MarthaH on 12 Sep 2007 at 7:51 am #

    I have 3 older brothers - the age difference between myself and the oldest was 12 years. So, when other girls played with baby dolls, I had the real thing. As I was growing up, there were always babies around. My brothers were rather prolific with having children - 9 in total.

    At 13, I began to babysit for my brother’s families (on my very own). We also had a summer cottage and every weekend the families would gather and I was delegated as baby sitter. At that time, I thought my life sucked because all I ever really got to do was change wet, poopy diapers and wipe runny noses.

    But, I survived those baby sitting years, only to become a mom myself and I didn’t even mind the poopy diapers and runny nose anymore.

    Then it became revenge time as my nieces were now old enough to babysit for me! And I laughed everytime one of them got grossed out and complained over a poopy diaper! Ah, the circle of life! LOL

  11. gannon on 12 Sep 2007 at 7:54 am #

    I am the youngest of 3 girls and I babysat quite a bit–it was good money in junior high and high school. I’ve always loved babies, and my older sister had 3 children before I had mine, so I had lots of practice. Being a mom came naturally to me, no awkward moments.

    Now my 3 are 15, 11, and 8, and although I adore little babies, I don’t want another. I’ll just cuddle and coo over other people’s babies and then hand them back! I do not miss those sleepless nights!

  12. JackieToo on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:00 am #

    I have no children of my own, but I had my first babysitting job at the ripe old age of eight (I let the kid fall off the bed. :Þ).

    Things looked up from there though. :D

    I have taken care of children all my life. First as a babysitter, then a nanny, and finally in day care. And always as an auntie - I have 30 or so nieces and nephews (the count changes so quickly, it’s hard to keep up!).

    I’ve been hit, kicked, thrown-up, spit-up, pooped and peed on, pinched, bitten, cussed out, and had one child spit in my face. We won’t even talk about the parents. :Þ Parents, be nice to your caregivers!! (had to get that in).

    But there were the smiles…their pride and excitement in learning…at LEAST 20 hugs a day…lots and lots of kisses…and more love than I can even begin to convey in this post!

    I’d do it again.

  13. Karen Hawkins on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:09 am #

    Jackie, did you say 30 nieces and nephews? *gulp!*

    I grew up in a home filled with an assortment of kids. My parents took foster kids by the boatload and also exchange students, plus me, my brother and sister fit in there somewhere, so there were always a variety of people from ages newborn to teen hanging around the kitchen table at night. You’d think with all the babysitting I did (and hoo boy, did I do a lot!) I’d love babies, but frankly, give me a kid who can talk, who can ask why the sun is yellow, and can they have a cookie, and I’m right there with you.

    While little tiny babies are cute, they’re even cuter across the room. I love my two kids to death and enjoyed every minute of their childhoods (still do!), but was I ever glad when they finally got to the point where they could look at me and say, “Naw, i’m not crying because I’m hungry. I just pinched my little toe in the door and it hurts.”

  14. Pamela Bolton-Holifield on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:33 am #

    LOL at Karen Hawkins and the crying kid! I babysat from the time I was nine - two younger brothers and assorted kids in the little English village where we lived. As a teenager, babysitting was my income source. I spent a summer sitting the three worst kids in the history of kids so that I could buy my own tiny television. I have no children of my own (except for the four legged furry variety) but I do have two nephews and a niece whom I adore. My BFF has a sixteen year old son who is obnoxious, but we really communicate in a snipey, “your generation did not invent sex or angst” way.Working at Wal-Mart is the best birth control I know. I see some of the most horrible kids imaginable so, no, I do NOT want one of my own.

  15. Sherri Erwin on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:36 am #

    LOL, Karen, mine are talkers. And not that they aren’t fascinating, but sometimes I really miss the days when they couldn’t say much.

  16. gannon on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:39 am #

    Pamela, LOL!! I never thought of working at Wal-Mart as being a form of birth control, but considering some of the kids I’ve seen when I go there, you may be onto something!

  17. Julia London on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:56 am #

    I never babysat. I never had kids. But suddenly I am babysitting a baby boy pretty much full time. He’s a grandkid (Jack London’s grandkid. I still harbor the illusion I am too young for such things as grandkids), and he’s cute as he can be…but good God he requires a lot of attention!

    But thank goodness I have not yet had to catch barf in my hands. I’ve had poop in my hair, on my clothes, and spread around the house. But I never had to catch barf in my hands, thank God!

  18. gannon on 12 Sep 2007 at 9:04 am #

    Julia, it’s only a matter of time! LOL!

  19. SuzyQ on 12 Sep 2007 at 9:09 am #

    I never babysat as a kid. My experience with babies came after my sister had her children. I was never really comfortable around babies and I worried when I got pregnant myself. It’s funny how when you leave the hospital, the only thing they check for is if you have a car seat. Then they hand you this tiny bundle and off you go. What? No instructions? But the amazing thing is how the instincts just kicked in. I loved every minute of it and still do, having two of my own.

  20. dbrown3400 on 12 Sep 2007 at 9:13 am #

    I shouldn’t post in the middle of the night because I don’t know what it would be like to be blessed with “childrem.”

    But I do remember the smiles. When a mother brings a baby into pharmacy, of course everyone gathers ’round, but when that baby smiles . . . It is still wonderful when my girls smile as grownups.

  21. twolilhahas on 12 Sep 2007 at 9:46 am #

    I used to babysit, but I just cannot do it anymore. I’m way too paranoid for that! If something happens to one of my kids and they get hurt, I can handle it, but if something happens to someone else’s kid and they get hurt on my watch, I stress and worry over it until I’m nuts. I just can’t handle the pressure! So, I quit doing it except in extreme emergencies. I had a friend offer to pay me $100 for one night…the kids would be sleeping most of the time…and I still said no way. lol I just can’t handle the stress.

    That, and I found out that once someone starts paying you to watch their kids regularly, they feel nothing over going shopping after work and leaving you stuck there forever! I can understand that sentiment. I have kids, too…and I deserved no less because I used to do it to my mom like crazy…but it taught me valuable lessons about babysitting etiquette.

  22. Kay on 12 Sep 2007 at 10:38 am #

    I began babysitting at 11! What was my Mother thinking, to let me be responsible for a small child at that age? I babysat through college to earn extra money. BC-before children, when my Dh and I were first married, we would “borrow” friends’ children, and take them skating, to Disney movies, and out for pizza. I volunteered one day a week with high risk K & 1st-graders at an innercity school, reading to kids who DID NOT KNOW HOW TO HOLD A BOOK OR TURN THE PAGES before going to school.

    I have 2 kids now, have taught Sunday School for YEARS, and I hate watching other people’s kids at my house–unless the are playmates of my own kids. I help out in the Church nursery every so often to get a baby fix. :-)

    My oldest child is a tween, and I have taken out many baby pictures to put around the house & remind me of when I couldn’t wait for him to talk! LOL

  23. ladydawgfan on 12 Sep 2007 at 10:47 am #

    My niece was born when I was 14, so I have also been around babies for a long time, and I have always been comfortable around children. However, my first babysitting job was when I was 11 (FIVE babies all under 2 yrs old). All went well, and the parents recommended me to a bunch of their friends and a sort of industry was launched, at least until I graduated high school.

    BTW, do people no longer rock and sing to their babies? I was watching a friend’s baby and rocking her and singing away, and my friend walked in. There I sat with a zonked out baby in my arms, singing hymns softly to her, and my friend looked at me like I had sprouted another head or something. So is this passe or what, ’cause I’m not giving up rocking and singing to babies even if it is??!!!

  24. gannon on 12 Sep 2007 at 10:59 am #

    Ladydawgfan, I always used to rock and sing to my babies–one of my favorite things!

  25. Suzanne Enoch on 12 Sep 2007 at 11:08 am #

    Thanks, Aspen! I can’t quite see Sam as a mom, either. Not yet, anyway. *g*

    Ladydawgfan, I think most people just don’t have rocking chairs any more. And it’s a shame, because rocking and singing seems to be almost magical in getting babies to relax.

    I admire all of you who babysat as teenagers. I could have used a bit of that confidence at that age.

  26. Ellen on 12 Sep 2007 at 11:25 am #

    I ran a BABYSITTING EMPIRE from the time I was 12 years old. I had so much business, Holidays were usually booked 3 months in advance. I kid you not! (Still can’t pass up any chance to throw in a corny pun) I even started sub-contracting my brothers out. My brothers were good with children too, BUT would empty your fridge the first hour they were there!

    My credentials spoke for themselves – I was the oldest girl in a family of seven children. Not only would my parents leave me in charge, they would expect the house to be clean by the time they got home. I was brainwashed into thinking that was the standard for caring for kids. The first two years I sat outside of the family, the mothers would come home and the kids would be sleeping in rooms cleaner than when I showed up. All the dishes would be washed and the kitchen and living room would be spotless. I never ate their food because I was always on a diet.

    AND…all I got was one dollar an hour.

    Needless to say, word got around quickly.

  27. SuzyQ on 12 Sep 2007 at 11:35 am #

    Ellen, are you still available????? LOL!

  28. Suzanne Enoch on 12 Sep 2007 at 11:48 am #

    Keri and SuzyQ, I think you’re right about instincts kicking in. A couple of weeks ago the 1 3/4 year-old tripped on a pillow and gashed open his forehead (six stitches) on the coffee table. I was sitting on the couch, and suddenly I was applying pressure and carrying him into the kitchen and comforting him to the point that he was actually sitting in my lap and taking his bottle while his parents got everything together to take him into emergency. And I have no idea how I got from the couch to him.

  29. ladydawgfan on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:33 pm #

    I had so much business, Holidays were usually booked 3 months in advance.

    Same with me. I actually had families in a bidding war for my services for New Years Eve!!! And one year, one of my clients reserved me for New Years in JULY!!!

  30. Julia London on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:48 pm #

    Gannon, please don’t tell me its a rite of passage.

    Suzanne - you are scaring me. I can’t imagine gashed foreheads.

    Ellen, I love the way you say BABYSITTING EMPIRE, lolololol

  31. Nicole Jordan on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:54 pm #

    Heck, yes, I babysat! Started when I was 11 and kept it up till I was out of highschool. Since I never got an alllowance from my parents, that was my way of earning money.

    And it’s probably why I decided I never wanted kids of my own *G*.

    Nicole

  32. colinfirthfan on 12 Sep 2007 at 12:57 pm #

    I am the youngest in my family so I never babysat. I love babys. When my sister had her first baby I was 20 and he and I were inseperable. I used to have to sneak out of her house to go back home otherwise he wouldn’t let me leave.
    He has puked on me, pooped on me. I have stuck my finger down his throat when he choked on a chip etc.. etc..

    I have babysit all my nephews and nieces but my eldest one the most (since I got married and moved away). I still have a soft spot for him and everyone knows it. He is 15 now and is about 6 inches taller than me. His voice recently got deeper. I can’t bear it!!

    I still love babies - especially then ones I can hand back to the parents. ;-)

  33. cail on 12 Sep 2007 at 1:39 pm #

    i used to watch my little brother, and some other neighborhood kids once i was a teenager. in college i baby sat for the all the babies in one of the departments that i took classes in. the professors would call me up to watch the kids for a few hrs when they had class.

    i have the magic touch with babies, they love me.

  34. Ann in IL on 12 Sep 2007 at 2:52 pm #

    I’ve been babysitting for 45 years. First for my younger siblings then for nieces, nephews , great-nieces and nephews, friends kids. You name it. The money was never great - 50 cents a night or two dollars for overnight. (that was back in the 60’s) I just stick to family/friends. I sit for free and they agree to help me with chores that this old body can’t seem to accomplish without a week’s worth of pain.

    I love newborns. It’s a shame that parents always have them in some sort of stroller/carrier. They are only small for such a short time, and they are NOT heavy. Hold those babies while you can. They are soooo sweet and they’ll never be little again. Also, I see many babies put to sleep in their swings. What ever happened rocking chairs? Watching a baby that is used to a swing is a real pain as I don’t have a seing at my home. Trying to be a human swing is tough on this old body.

    Guess I’m just old….and old fashioned.

  35. Sabrina Jeffries on 12 Sep 2007 at 3:01 pm #

    The first time I formally babysat as a teenager, I panicked a bit when the baby wouldn’t stop crying. But other than that, I was okay with it, since I’d watched my three younger siblings many a time.

    Now I feel like I’ve done my time and deserve a break, but I WILL babysit my twin niece and nephew from time to time. They’re so adorable! Tiring but adorable. As I told my brother, since I’ll never have grandchildren, they’re pretty much my grandkids (I’m just about old enough to be their grandmother), so I spoil them as much as any grandma. Heck, they’re four now, and I STILL call them “the babies.” That’s because they’ll always be MY babies. *G*

  36. DebMarlowe on 12 Sep 2007 at 3:45 pm #

    I sat my siblings, cousins, neighbors, etc. But Ellen, I was not naive enough to clean everybody’s house! You should have charged them for maid service too!

    The problem I have is *getting* sitters! The kids around here drive nicer cars than I do–they have no interest in sitting!

  37. Judy F on 12 Sep 2007 at 4:11 pm #

    I am the youngest too. I didn’t watch any kids until my brothers wife had the two girls. But I didn’t watch them near as much as I had watched my sisters kids. The first time is kinda scary. My sisters middle child just had a little girl in Feb. I watched her last month and at first I was pretty scared. It had been a long time but it all came back and she was a doll. She thought it was so funny to pull Aunt Judy’s hair, my theory was she was happy I let her do it. LOL

  38. Suzanne Enoch on 12 Sep 2007 at 4:16 pm #

    Judy F, I get in trouble for that stuff — “well, they’re happy, and it’s only a roll of toilet paper”.

  39. Keri Ford on 12 Sep 2007 at 4:27 pm #

    Ann in IL, I put my baby in the stroller when we go out, because if I don’t I won’t be able to pick him up the next day due my back! It’s only about 15lbs, but that gets heavy after a little bit. Not to mention, if he’s held to long, he gets restless and fussy cause he can’t move or stretch. it’s a win-win!

  40. Claudia Dain on 12 Sep 2007 at 4:44 pm #

    I was the oldest and I still never baby-sat. Just wasn’t at all interested. Starving on the streets would have been preferable to being responsible for other people’s children.

    And then I got married, had 3 kids in 5 years, and homeschooled them from K to 12. Happily. Fell right into it, no kicking and screaming required. Who knew?

    There’s no comparison to watching other people’s kids and being with your own. None. I wonder what it will be like to be a grandmother? I’ve heard only fantastic reports. Yea!

  41. freshechelle on 12 Sep 2007 at 5:13 pm #

    The few times I babysat, I had a simple motto: if your kid is still alive when you get home, I’ve done my job.

  42. Judy F on 12 Sep 2007 at 6:08 pm #

    Suzanne well she was only 6 months and couldn’t get in to much trouble. Now it may be a problem since she is crawling. My brother used to say about my sisters kids that it was an aunt/uncles job to wind them up then send them home. LOL

  43. Brandy on 12 Sep 2007 at 7:54 pm #

    I babysat when I was 12 and older. And I am an only child, but I was never really nervous around kids. *g* For a while I volunteered for the United Way to work at a Summer Camp, and had a great time.
    And now, I have my own, a Daughter who is 12 and a Son who is 5. Do I get nervous? Yes, especially when I know Daughter is going to have to be told about sex, and Son asked me why he has a wee-wee. *G* I didn’t have to be pulled into parenthood. I’ve always wanted kids. Um, good luck with the Play-doh. *G*

  44. gannon on 12 Sep 2007 at 8:20 pm #

    Claudia, my MIL had a plaque in her house that said “Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your children.” LOL! Everyone always says that having grandchildren is the best.

  45. Chantal on 15 Sep 2007 at 2:43 pm #

    I always wanted kids. Started to babysit when I was 12 and I loved it. Growing up I wanted to work in a daycare.
    I got married at 16, and we started for kids right away. I had my first a month before I turned 19, and kept on going with the baby making after that.
    I’m now 28, have 3 kids and work in a hospital (Lactation consultant)
    I do babysit my friends kids sometimes, but I’m picky about it because the older my kids get, then less I enjoy OTHER peoples kids. They just annoy the hell out of me, lol
    Unless I’m sitting for a family that make the same parenting choices that we do, I’d rather not babysit.
    The thought of me working in a daycare like I used to makes me want to scream.
    I LOVE being with my own kids though. I fell into parenting so easily, and I would never want to do anything else.