Advice Column for Lovers: Heroes
Aug 28th 2007
Nicole JordanOn Writing!
I tend to like Alpha heroes in romances. You know the type – a little macho, a little arrogant. Totally self-confident and secure in themselves and in their amorous skills. For my fictional heroes, SNAGS (Sensitive New Age Guys) need not apply.
My favorite Alpha males are dangerous bad boys and wicked rakes in need of reform, since I know deep in my swooning romantic heart they’re only waiting for the right woman (me!) to come along and redeem them with
her love. For me, their delicious lure is the fantasy of taming a strong man and making him worthy of being my soul mate.
But the truth is, in real life I would never put up with most of these macho Alpha male jerks. I’d want to give them a hard kick in the family you-know-what.
We’re talking fiction here, though, and conflict is the lifeblood of fiction. Thus, I’m willing to put up with a lot of Alpha-jerk behavior when I’m reading.
So what other traits do I like in my fictional heroes? Possessiveness is one. The Me-Tarzan-You-Jane You’re Mine and I’m Not Letting Anyone Else Have You kind of attitude. Which includes being willing to defend and 
protect me to the death.
I also like for a romance hero to be physically sexy. Body heat is a big plus. I want a hero who can keep my feet and other more sensitive body parts warm at night.
Sweat can sometimes be sexy in fiction, although it rarely is in real life. One pet peeve of mine is snoring. No self-respecting hero snores. If I were advising a romance hero on how to increase his appeal, I would say always avoid snoring when you sleep. If you star in a contemporary, you can buy some good anti-snore spray. If you’re in an historical, you should give your heroine earplugs made of wax.
And you darned well better be kind to animals, although kindness to bratty kids is optional.
What advice would you give a fictional romance hero in winning the heart of his heroine? What traits do you like to see in your heroes? What traits are big turn-offs for you? And do you feel the same way about the men you know and love in real life?
52 Comments »
52 Responses to “Advice Column for Lovers: Heroes”
twolilhahas on 28 Aug 2007 at 11:48 pm #
You know what would win my heart? Utter devotion. Is it too much to ask for a guy to fall in love with me and put me at the center of his universe? Ok, so maybe that’s a little extreme…but I want to be a priority. Like right there behind God in importance. If I call, I want him to answer the phone and be happy to hear from me. I want him to want to spend time with me. To enjoy talking to me about nothing and everything. To look at me like no other woman exists in the world. I just want to be important to him.
That’s probably too much to ask for, but I’m just sayin’…it would work on me. lol
I love to read a really tough hero that is all squishy-soft over his heroine. I love that his toughness makes him ABLE to take care of her and the love he has for her makes him WANT to take care of her…especially if he’s broken for some reason and feels like he’s not worthy…and then gives his all to take care of her without letting her know how deeply he loves her.
twolilhahas on 28 Aug 2007 at 11:59 pm #
I like a confident hero, but when it comes to certain phrases they say in the books, it really kills the mood for me. Anytime I’m reading a book and Mr. Hero says to Miss Heroine confidently that she’s going to like what he’s going to give her, it makes me cringe. Gag me, Man. Especially when she’s a virgin and he’s all, “Come for me, darling. You can do it.” Grrrr…don’t tell me what to do! And don’t make it sound so stupid! “Ride the waves, baby. Feel it, let go.” SHUT UP!
Turn offs in real life. Hmmmm….Well, I’m really short…so I have to say nose hair is a big turn off for me. I hate looking up people’s noses. It’s given me a complex. Being 5′2″ in a taller than 5′2″ world is a real eye-opener. lol
I’ll probably be alone on this, but hairy chests are a turn off for me, too. I always have to re-arrange a passage in a book that tells the hero has chest fur. I’m all like, “No, I didn’t just read that. I just read that he’s smooth and silky and hair free.
twolilhahas on 29 Aug 2007 at 12:02 am #
Oh, short men turn me off, too. I guess that would solve the nose hair problem, but sheesh! Short men really irk me.
Stacy ~ on 29 Aug 2007 at 5:38 am #
Winning a heroine’s heart? Well, respect her. Listen to what she has to say (yeah, they seem to tune out during the important “talks”), let her be her own person. Support her in what she does, whether it’s as a stay-at-home mom, lawyer, soldier, or a CEO. Let her have her dreams. Make her feel special, in whatever that way is (not every woman wants flowers and candy - a backrub, or a little love note is always appreciated). Share yourself with her.
Turn offs: Infidelity, making demands, not listening, being too stubborn, dissing her in front of people (or when they are alone), not trusting her for no good reason, making her feel worthless.
In RL, much like in my books, I love blue collar men - mechanics, carpenters, etc. I prefer them to be more beta than in a romance, but still masculine - no metrosexual man for me.
dbrown3400 on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:34 am #
There are so many alpha men I like in fiction, both in historical and contemorary, but one pops up that symbolizes the historical genre pretty well for me — Clayton Westmoreland, Duke of Claymore in WHITNEY, MY LOVE. He’s a well-rounded kinda guy who goes out of his way to please his heroine who, imho, acts like a snotty little brat (think Scarlett O’Hara) w/o losing any of his strong character. He just walks away when he’s done all he can to woo her. He shows his human side when he becomes her ladies maid, a scene where I cry every time. Of course, there is the HEA.
Now I find, both in contemporary and historical, I like my heroes a little edgier. With all the agents with extra super powers, it’s not hard to find them. Like detectives, THANKS KAREN ROSE, who are super hot, I find what I want in a hero.
Cont.
dbrown3400 on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:48 am #
In real life, my bf gives me love and respect. If I’m having a bad day or going through a bad time, he tells me, “You don’t have time to go crazy,” a phrase he knows will always soothe me or make me laugh. Bob lets me know I have his support and I make it a two-way street.
Ours is a strange relationship because we live far apart and don’t want to get married. We’ve both been through that and I don’t want to go through it again. We don’t face the everyday aggravations (like socks on the floor) and our lives seem to be better without them. I think that’s the reason we don’t argue. Also, he’s not there all the time when I’m reading at four in the morning and he gets up at five to go to work. Why he still goes to work at 63 and doesn’t need the money is beyond me, but I think he just enjoys it. AND it is his company. Maybe he just likes hanging out with the guys.
Donna
Lisa H on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:57 am #
I love a hero who is faithful not only in deed but in his heart. He doesn’t check out other women when his woman isn’t around. He is 100% reliable, you can count on him to do what he says he is going to do. He would rather lose a limb than not keep a promise.
I love tall, well built men with a nice head of hair. I do like the hairy chest type guy. Although there is alot to be said for sheer sexyness (like Johnny Depp) He is totally not “my type” yet I think he is incredibly sexy and would be great to be with in every sense of the word!
Speaking of hairy chests, several years ago my Best Friend received a Play Girl for her 40th B’day and we looked at it and were disappointed, all the men had shaved or waxed their chests and left only neat little triangles surrounding their umm…parts. We both felt we had been cheated!!!
Ellen on 29 Aug 2007 at 8:15 am #
Well Nicole, my perfect male in real life is not even close to the perfect male in fiction. As a matter of fact, it amazes me that I can live so happily in such different worlds.
In fiction, my hero has a defined pattern of body hair that acts as a road map to his ultimate maleness. In real life my hero’s road map would look like the blueprints for the NYC subway system. He is a human Chia pet who could grow a full beard by my first chocolate break (10:00am)
In fiction, my hero would never snore. However, my man’s face is a Human Party Favor when he sleeps. I’m talkin’ buzz saw marries grizzly. I keep the air conditioner on year round to drown out the noise. It does work, but you could hang meat in my bedroom in January.
My fictional male knows exactly what needs to be said to seduce me. He knows exactly how to stroke me to make me beg for more. My real man knows that “Another Chardonnay?” qualifies quite effectively as foreplay.
I have a feeling I’ll have some more to say later. Right now my real hero needs a ride to the train station because his mighty steed is in the shop for a tune up!
Ciao Bellas,
Ellen
Ellen on 29 Aug 2007 at 8:25 am #
Lisa H…the Vatican would not have enough candle wax to take care of my man. Lucky for us, I find “neat little triangles” amusing.
Twolilhahas…As a tall woman, I never considered the nose hair issue. Thanks for the laugh.
Lisa H on 29 Aug 2007 at 8:35 am #
Ellen —you are so funny! Your real man sounds great!
Keri Ford on 29 Aug 2007 at 8:36 am #
Maybe I just like a challenge, but I could really go for one of those Alpha heros in real life. I want all the manly beef he can dish out. No metro’s for me. I don’t want to have to share my mirror when we’re running late for something. A few years back I would have jumped a bare chested guy, now…not so much. My man has to like to get his hands dirty and sweat. Of course, he needs to be nice and fit and able to sweep me off my feet and take me well where ever he wants to.
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 8:54 am #
You goddesses are so funny! And these are wonderful.
Speaking of hair, before I met my dh, I couldn’t stand facial hair…. beards and mustaches. Not even Tom Selleck. But dh had a mustache, so I grew kind of fond of it. Then one day he shaved it off without telling me (so he could look younger). I was appalled. Wouldn’t kiss him for two days. But now I like him much better without it.
Because of him, I do like a little chest hair. But my editor doesn’t, so I don’t mention fur on my own books’ heroes. That a reader can envision whatever she wants her fantasy to be. *s*
NicoleJ
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:00 am #
>>>metrosexual
So does anyone have a good definition of this? I first started seeing it a year or so ago, and I think I know what it means, but I don’t know where it was coined.
Sabrina Jeffries on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:29 am #
“Short men really irk me.”
Oh, twolilhahas, you and I would never like the same guys! I’m married to a short, very hairy man. I’m one of those rare females who thinks male hair is incredibly sexy. Don’t like the whole waxing thing.
I like alpha males, in books and out. I think there’s a difference between an alpha male and an alpha jerk. IMO, an alpha male is forceful, confident, seductive, but he doesn’t bully anyone. I don’t mind if the hero tries to order the heroine around, as long as she gives as good as she gets. I happen to know a fiesty woman married to an alpha male (no, not me–my husband is not alpha or beta … he’s just … strange. Like me), and they spar all the time, but they’re very happy together. Sometimes it can seem a little exhausting just watching them, but I honestly do understand what she sees in him (he’s a really good guy), and she’s certainly up for the job.
Sabrina Jeffries on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:30 am #
What’s important to me is that the hero, real or otherwise, have a good sense of humor and be supportive and intelligent, not to mention sensitive. I don’t think those things are impossible to find in an alpha male. At least I strive to put them into my guys.
Ellen on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:34 am #
Of course, being a New Yauwker, I always assumed the term Metrosexual began in New York. It was a term we used to describe men who had feminine qualities above and beyond the occasional tear. These men had a loft in SoHo before it was trendy.
A Metro man gets waxed and plucks his brows. He gets manicures, but would never use polish. He gets facials and has been known to streak his hair. His apartment looks like a photo layout in Architectural Digest.
He will always remember your birthday and knows exactly which purse you should get. He will spend the day shopping with you and enjoy it.
He is willing to watch Project Runway and Top Chef with you, but also has season tickets at the Garden. He’ll make a goat cheese omelet for breakfast and eat yogurt for lunch. Quiche does not make him break out in hives. He serves “wraps” on poker night.
The best definition is, he’s like your best gay male friend, only he prefers to sleep with women.
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:55 am #
>>>The best definition is, he’s like your best gay male friend, only he prefers to sleep with women.
What a descriptive definition, Ellen! I can see this guy perfectly.
>>>I think there’s a difference between an alpha male and an alpha jerk. IMO, an alpha male is forceful, confident, seductive, but he doesn’t bully anyone.
That’s a great distinction, too, Sabrina! I think romance heroes have changed a LOT over the past decade. The Alpha Jerk used to be the ideal — or at least the norm. Now we readers expect better.
NicoleJ
Karen Rose on 29 Aug 2007 at 10:02 am #
Thanks for the laughs! Lilhaha - I’m short too and I never thought about nose hair before. Now I will. Gee, thanks… (that was sarcasm)
Ellen, as usual, you crack me up! Ultimate maleness.
I like a hero with a softer side. I was dismayed to find one of my heros was a poetry fan. I set out to find a “manly poet” for my guy to read. I did find a few, but as I wrote the story, I realized my hero really only liked the poetry written by his late wife, because it was part of her.
Vito in DIE FOR ME likes opera. He’s a little shy about this fact as his father and brothers give him a hard time. Luckily Sophie gives him a hard time, too, but in the “ultimate maleness” way, LOL. She is quick to assure his family that Vito is a Manly Man.
I like my heroes to have chest hair. Sorry guys. If they’re really smart and/or good at math, that’s a special turn on. (THat’s not sarcasm.)
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 10:16 am #
>>>If they’re really smart and/or good at math, that’s a special turn on. (THat’s not sarcasm.)
Yep, I love this, Karen! And clever wit just makes me drool.
Dot C on 29 Aug 2007 at 10:17 am #
Ok, so my mr. and I had a romance book Moment last month. LOL. We had the Mother of all Fights…about looking and talking to members of the opposite sex. Mr Thing, a salesman by trade is the consummate flirt, and, to make a sale will prey occasionally on women’s better sense, leaving said women with the feeling that, hey, He Likes Me, and I Have A Chance. A real smoothie. So back to said fight….as we yelled, and spit, and screamed (well I did anyway), the fight ends with us in bed, still mad, and yelling and screaming, and now scratching and biting. He becomes the Alpha Male. I, now being Claimed by my Mate, look at him with slanted eyes, and hiss “I Hate You!”…to which he responds…”You little liar, even if you did, it’s too bad because I Love YOU, and YOU are MINE.” I promptly respond “You better watch your back!” to which he replies “Oh Love, didn’t you know? YOU are my back!” Honestly, I couldn’t have written a better love scene if I’d tried!
Dot C on 29 Aug 2007 at 10:21 am #
He does however snore like a jacksaw, which makes the aftermath a bit less desirable. One of these nights however, I’m gonna go MacGyver on him and, using a nebulizer and a used gum wrapper, I think I can end the snoring.
For real tho, I’ve forced him to schedule a sleep study because for those of you with loved ones who snore, that is a sign of sleep apnea which can endanger said loved ones lives by shorting oxygen. It causes drowsiness and fatigue dayside, lack of focus and attention (adult ADD), forgetfulness, and physical symptoms such as high blood pressure. Bring it to their doctors attention, and get them some medical help!!
Lisa H on 29 Aug 2007 at 10:41 am #
I do not care for metrosexuals…I’d rather a Fireman, Lumberjack or CEO in Armani who could care less if his socks match. A metrosexual seems like too much work, too much like me!
Kathryn Smith on 29 Aug 2007 at 11:03 am #
I love a sense of humor in men — both real and fictional.
And speaking of hawt, Nicole, love the new pic! You look fabulous, darling!
Kate
dbrown3400 on 29 Aug 2007 at 11:11 am #
> > > Speaking of hair, before I met my dh, I couldn’t stand facial hair…. beards and mustaches. Not even Tom Selleck. But dh had a mustache, so I grew kind of fond of it. Then one day he shaved it off without telling me .
I never grew fond of his mustache, but it took me over 24 hous to realize the bf had shaved it off.
db
Kay on 29 Aug 2007 at 12:26 pm #
My DH shaved off his mustache three years ago! What a shock. I had known him with one for over 15 years. I still miss it!
I don’t like heroes—or real life men–who need to change in a major way. Sorry, people rarely change for the better, but I do like to see a hero grow as a person. I think most people grow during adulthood (at least they should) and a lack of growth is boring in a book and makes for a pretty dull or immature real person.
colinfirthfan on 29 Aug 2007 at 12:31 pm #
The most important thing for my fictional hero would be a sense of humor and that he is rough and tough all the time except with “her”. With her he immediately softens and is all gentle and kind - pretty much any Julie Garwood hero does it for me.
Freshechelle on 29 Aug 2007 at 1:05 pm #
I like the fictional hero Trisha Yearwood sings about in “That’s What I Like About You”
“I like a man who is tender in love, tough in a fight.”
“Don’t want a man like a shadow on the ground with nothing else to do but follow me around.”
A few swell blog gals posted a lyric site recently. This one is worth finding.
This song describe the perfect fictional dude. No metrosexuals please. Pretty to work with but sometimes a slippery slope to “doesn’t go to my church” if you know what I mean.
The ultimate turn off - men with a nervous giggle.
The ultimate turn on -a man who likes me.
colinfirthfan on 29 Aug 2007 at 1:05 pm #
Any hero wearing jewelery is a big turn-off. I skip those parts.
Twolilhaha’s >> “Come for me, darling. You can do it.” Grrrr…don’t tell me what to do! And don’t make it sound so stupid! “Ride the waves, baby. Feel it, let go.” SHUT UP!
Hilarious!!
:-))
Ellen on 29 Aug 2007 at 2:43 pm #
Did you ever notice a fictional hero can ride his horse for three days straight and he is described as smelling like “a heady combination of male, leather and horse?” Give me a break!!!
After one hour of my honey mowing the lawn, I fantasize about giving him the prison treatment; where they spray him down with a fire hose then shoot talcum powder all over him. As an added bonus, he could walk the halls of my house naked, carrying his folded laundry while I jeer him.
Let’s face it…it would be the FIRST time he carried laundry thru my halls and therefore deserves a bit of jeering.
Claudia Dain on 29 Aug 2007 at 2:59 pm #
Nicole, I had to laugh at your desire for body heat in a hero. With the night sweats I sometimes get now, if my DH’s toe so much as touches my leg…”Stop touching me! I’m burning up over here!”
Turn ons: a guy who lets me decorate the house the way I want it.
Turn offs: a guy who runs a finger around, checking for dust.
Turn ons: knowing me better than I know myself.
Turn offs: thinking he’s smarter than I am.
For me, these work for both real and fictional men. Body hair is a non-issue for me; they can have it or not. And I love the Alpha Male, Alpha Jerk distinction. Absolutely!
Freshechelle on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:10 pm #
Ellen - you paint a real pretty picture - both the laundry scenario and the sweat stink (and your other postings today). The smell of sweat isn’t sexy, it just smells, well, like guys in France.
Claudia - you said it on the thinking he’s smarter than I am, but a big turn on is being smarter than I am (which ain’t exactly setting the bar high).
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:39 pm #
>>>“I Hate You!”…to which he responds…”You little liar, even if you did, it’s too bad because I Love YOU, and YOU are MINE.” I promptly respond “You better watch your back!” to which he replies “Oh Love, didn’t you know? YOU are my back!” Honestly, I couldn’t have written a better love scene if I’d tried!
Wow, Dot, that just makes my heart melt into a little puddle. You’re right, that’s a wonderful Romance moment.
And I totally agree about the snoring possibly being an indicator of something more serious.
>>>A metrosexual seems like too much work, too much like me!
Too funny, LisaH.
And you are soooo nice, Kathryn. I can’t take credit for the fab photos, though. The photgrapher was AMAZING. I’ve never seen anyone so talented at bringing out the best in subjects. She did some more shots that I’ll be putting up on my newly designed website, hopefully around Oct 1.
twolilhahas on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:41 pm #
Claudia…good one: “Turn offs: a guy who runs a finger around, checking for dust.” I agree with you 100% on that one.
Another turn off for me is any man that says to a pregnant girl, “Thousands of women have done this before you…stop acting like it’s a big deal.” I don’t care how many women have done it before, making a living, breathing human being is a BIG DEAL! Make me some cupcakes, bucko!
colinfirthfan on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:42 pm #
Ellen, you are cracking me up!!
twolilhahas on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:43 pm #
I’m not sure how I feel about metrosexuals. lol I only just today learned what one is! But I’ve had the alpha male in my past…and we’re divorced. So, I’m not certain I’d be against a metrosexual. Someone to talk to and do things with sounds pretty neat.
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:47 pm #
>>>I don’t like heroes—or real life men–who need to change in a major way. Sorry, people rarely change for the better.
Boy, do I agree, Kay. That’s so true of real people. I think that’s why the idea of a fictional hero changing is so appealing to me. Because it’s larger-than-life fantasy.
Love that TrishaY lyric, Fresh. Very cool.
And yes, horses make their riders smell bad, Ellen, ROFL! Smell is one of the hardest things for me to suspend disbelief about when I reading historals.
Claudia, I’m so cold natured that I’ll put up with a lot for a guy who’ll keep me warm!
NicoleJ
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 3:53 pm #
>>>Claudia…good one: “Turn offs: a guy who runs a finger around, checking for dust.” I agree with you 100% on that one.
I have to say I have never ever met a guy who checked for dust, lol. Maybe it’s the guys I hang with. But then, I don’t know too many women who check either, me included. I MUST have order and neatness, but dust is way down on my priority list.
>>>Another turn off for me is any man that says to a pregnant girl, “Thousands of women have done this before you…stop acting like it’s a big deal.” I don’t care how many women have done it before, making a living, breathing human being is a BIG DEAL! Make me some cupcakes, bucko!
Good grief, TWO!! Did some guy really say that??? What an unbelievable (#&%&#
Ellen on 29 Aug 2007 at 4:11 pm #
Pregnancy is one place my real life hero was truly perfect…Once we got past that very first visit to the OB/GYN. My honey wanted to share every moment of the pregnancy with me, even the doctor’s visits.
I got into the usually position and was well draped when my doctor walked in. She had known me for years and was a little surprised at my new found modesty. That was, of course, until she noticed my husband standing directly behind her so that he wouldn’t miss a thing. He looked like an umpire ready to call pitches in the World Series.
“Honey, why don’t you stand next to me and hold my hand?”
“I think I have a better view from here,” he answered, now in full umpire lean.
“Of course you do, honey. But if you ever want to see that view again, in your life, you will come here and hold my hand.”
Needless to say, Mr. Perfect didn’t let go of my hand until we got to the parking lot!
twolilhahas on 29 Aug 2007 at 4:23 pm #
Nicole, I hate to admit it, but yes. My ex-husband was of that mindset (So was my dad)…and I was a very sick pregnant lady both times. Morning sickness for 9 months will take a lot out of you! My best friend’s bf actually said the same thing to her. Maybe it’s in the water around here, but that seems to be a common man thought. So, it’s a definite turn-off for me.
And maybe I’m the only one out there, but I love the smell of horses. Although, the riding for weeks, not bathing or brushing teeth, and the using the bathroom in the woods thing is hard to forget about when that first love scene happens in the woods. LOL I prefer for them to make it home first, take a hot bath…and then do whatever they had planned. I cannot suspend disbelief when it comes to those things. You may be hot, and you may be sexy, but I can’t find you for the dirt and grime and can’t breathe around you for the smell. Not now!
colinfirthfan on 29 Aug 2007 at 4:41 pm #
TWO - I agree.. sometimes I wonder about the smell and carefully keep my mind blank about those issues.
Quite often they have a river handy so that takes care of the hygiene issues.
9 months of nausea….. poor you. I had 4 months and that was waaayyy too much for me.
I also love that guys are soo ecstatic when they find out they are going to be dads.
My DH was totally blase about it.
*grumble, grumble*
twolilhahas on 29 Aug 2007 at 5:15 pm #
Yeah, I know what you mean colinfirthfan. When I told my ex-husband about our first pregnancy his exact response was, “You’re bull****tin’ me.” Great. I’ll write THAT in the baby book.
I have noticed the handy rivers…thank goodness!
Sabrina Jeffries on 29 Aug 2007 at 5:21 pm #
“Make me some cupcakes, bucko!”
LOL, twolilhahas!!! I totally agree.
Sabrina Jeffries on 29 Aug 2007 at 5:26 pm #
And Ellen, you’re cracking me up with the umpire view thing!
My dh was there for everything during the pregnancy, too, and very concerned and sensitive. He’s really good at the nurturing part, thank goodness, since I need a lot of it.
Freshechelle on 29 Aug 2007 at 5:59 pm #
Speaking of cupcakes, there is a place down the shore in Jersey that sells Upcakes. You get more frosting. Yum. Every woman of child bearing age should demand these as her right!
REGENCYGIRL on 29 Aug 2007 at 6:59 pm #
I can accept most heroes. One thing that turns me off is when the heroine
suffers too much. I was really turned off to romance by those early Johanna
Lindsey stories where the heroine is raped by her Viking husband who decides he “loves” her around p. 385!! I just finished Twilight which was pretty romantic
until the heroine gets attacked by a vampire near the end of the story. There is
another series about 3 wizard brothers (can’t remember the author) where the
heroine gets killed and has to be revived. I don’t care if the heroine is tied to the railroad tracks — but I don’t expect the train to actually run over her! I was also turned off by the “Fabio” books which were allegedly written by him. The hero admires himself endlessly in some of those. I also dislike chest hair.
What a great web site!
Dot C on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:26 pm #
My mr doesn’t have chest hair, well maybe 2 hairs. Does anyone know why they always grow right around the nipples?? It’s comical. Chest hair doesn’t matter either way to me…but ear hair….that’s got to be dealt with.
I like my heros decisive - nothing worse than a wishy washy. I like them nasty and kinky…animalistic. Sexually adventurous, and totally in love with everything female. I like them to not be gay. Thats a plus for me. I like them to be financially independent. The story would sure be odd if the guy was dirt poor and had no way to provide. Emotionally mature is great…they have to be out on their own, with responsibilities. Can you imagine a hero that lives in his mom’s basement? And do you know what is missing from romance? Positive (as opposed to emotionally negative) interracial relationships. There are alot of us out there now, and most lit that deals with interracial relationships or sex has some pretty nasty undertones to it.Time to change all that!
Dot C on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:28 pm #
OHH well, I forgot to state the obvious. The hero has to be decently hung and good in bed. What kind of story can you really have if your mate is hung like a gerbal, and can’t figure out what to do with his own willy, never mind your “feminine heat”?
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:29 pm #
>>“Of course you do, honey. But if you ever want to see that view again, in your life, you will come here and hold my hand.”
Ellen, you are a riot! I never can think of clever things to say like that until it’s way too late.
And TWO and CFF, I’m wincing at what you had to go through. I hope your kids really appreciate you. And your dh’s, also. I remember reading an article once about men and women and pain. On average we have a much higher pain threshhold than men, just so we can stand having our bodies ripped apart during childbirth. And most men would be wimpering wusses if they had to endure even a fraction of that pain. Don’t know if it’s true, but it does make me feel a little superior, *G*.
Sign me up for the cupcakes, Fresh!
And RG, welcome!!! You sound like a woman after my own heart — and I can promise you’ll be in great company here. And I totally agree about the pain and suffering thing…
NicoleJ
Nicole Jordan on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:31 pm #
>>>What kind of story can you really have if your mate is hung like a gerbal, and can’t figure out what to do with his own willy, never mind your “feminine heat”?
Dot, I about fell out of my chair laughing. Boy, what a discription!
darkshire007 on 29 Aug 2007 at 7:43 pm #
I had to take a moment and wipe away the tears from laughing so hard!! We’ve got nose hair, chest hair, gerbal parts, man in the doctors office….LOL! Anyhow, I don’t think I would give a hero (fictional or not) any advice. I like to think a true hero would be someone that already has the attributes that we expect heros to have. If I have to give him pointers then he is probably some schmuck that isn’t worth being called a hero. I would like my hero to be everything….which isn’t realistic, I know. Intelligent, gorgeous, kind to the elderly, children and animals, decisive, strong, great in bed, neat, and the list goes on. A big turn off for me are men that feel the need to be down on certain types of women. I am a mechanic and I think men feel threatened by that. I have put up with a lot of crap over the years and sometimes actually had my feelings hurt. Not that I let them know…
dbrown3400 on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:14 pm #
And to think I had to go to work and miss all this. I’m wiping the tears with you, darkshire.
db
gannon on 29 Aug 2007 at 9:49 pm #
I was gone all day and look what fun I missed! I’ve been laughing so hard at everyone’s comments, especially Ellen’s! I love the prison scenario, with your dh carrying laundry and you jeering. OMG, that is just priceless!