Men and Meat Snacks: What’s Up With That?
Aug 26th 2007
Julia LondonOn Writing!
There is one thing in life that is so not fair, that it’s way more unfair than anything else you can name that is unfair: Men and calories. Doesn’t it seem like most men can eat anything and not worry about it? Jack London is a big guy, but he’s trim. Yet he eats stuff that would curl your hair and he doesn’t gain an ounce. He announces he needs to drop a couple of pounds and decides to let it “melt off” while doing the yard…and it actually works.
Last week, he came home from work and announced we were going to be vegans. He’d heard some radio program about it and was inspired. A couple of days later, the vegan thing flew out the window with his discovery of the world’s largest meat snack. It’s still in the fridge.
Then yesterday, he got very excited when he realized that I was going to be gone for a couple of weeks (Ireland! Wooooo-hoooooo!), which means he can eat anything he wants. No vegetables! No fish! He went to the grocery store and came home with: two bags of chips and the stuff to make queso, six cans of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, and two half gallons of rocky road-type ice cream. This is his idea of a dream diet.
The cruel thing is, he will polish all that off in a few days and go back for something equally strange. In the meantime, I will be hiking around the Emerald Isle, trying to watch what I eat, and probably gain five pounds. He will lie around eating queso with an ice cream chaser, and his only real physical activity will occur the day before I come home, when he cleans house and yard after two weeks of bachelor bliss. But he’ll lose a couple of pounds. That is so unfair.
What is your husband/father/brother/pal’s favorite splurge food? And what’s his stance on meat snacks?
35 Comments »
35 Responses to “Men and Meat Snacks: What’s Up With That?”
Brandy on 26 Aug 2007 at 10:01 pm #
My Hubs favortie splurge food is fried Chicken. He grew up eating it and can loves it. As far as meat snacks, well, hubs does enjoy a slim jim every now and then. Although, since he got out of the Military almost 4 years ago, he’s popped on almost 60 pounds. Too much fried chicken. *g* Well, we do live in the South! And me? I hate fried chicken.
Susan K on 26 Aug 2007 at 10:12 pm #
My fiance doesn’t have just one favorite snack. It changes day to day and week to week. Two days in a row now he’s come home loaded with groceries. Yesterday he ran up to the IGA for milk and came back with about 6 bags of food. Then today he left to go to the shooting range and about 3 hours later he walks in loaded down with grocery bags. I didn’t complain though cause each time he does that he brings me something. Today he brought me 2 cucumbers, Diet Sunkist and Diet A&W Root Beer.
Ronlyn on 27 Aug 2007 at 1:46 am #
oh good Lord, my DH eats the strangest things. One of my all time favorite, never fail recipes is my honey mustard chicken. The first time I made it for my DH know what he said? “This is really good, but it’d be even better with green olives.” What the heck?
I can’t even begin to describe his favorite snacks because I’ve put myself in denial about it. I just don’t want to know. He has gained a few lbs since we got married, which he blames on my cooking, but whatever.
And, funny you should ask, last weekend he brought home 4 bags of beef jerky and turkey jerky. I grab a piece of fruit to tide me over, he grabs a bag of meat. I just don’t understand…
Lisa H on 27 Aug 2007 at 6:38 am #
My husband is a borderline vegitarian- he stays away from meat most of the time, however, he needs a “dessert” after lunch and dinner EVERYDAY! Julia, I know exactly what you are talking about, he eats cookies, pies, ice-cream and all manner of sinful sweets and stays at 180 lbs which is perfect for his 6 foot frame! Me, I follow weight watchers, I lost 10lbs at the beginning of July and have stayed on the diet consistently— I have lost no more weight!
It is frustrating, but just another inequality between the sexes!
gannon on 27 Aug 2007 at 6:44 am #
My dh and our two sons LOVE beef jerky! They can polish off massive quantities in the blink of an eye. When we were driving across the country, in Nevada (I think), we saw a sign for jerky and my dh couldn’t stop fast enough! They had buffalo, elk, etc. It was jerky nirvana for all of them. I like it, too, but a couple of pieces is enough; I don’t need to eat the whole animal at once!
My dh also loves peanut butter and will eat in on absolutely anything!
As for the weight deal, men can lose weight by just thinking about it, while we women gain weight by thinking about it! So unfair!!!!
Karen Hawkins on 27 Aug 2007 at 7:11 am #
Oh, Julia. I hear you, sistah! Sing it! Men and their meat snacks.
My son goes to the store and comes home with 1) ice cream, 2) chips, 3) chocolate milk, 4) cereal, 5) four packages of bologna. Good thing I do most of the shopping!
The whole Men and Weight thing isn’t fair, either. Growing up. my dad would announce one day that he was going to lose ten pounds and a month later, he’d have lost it. Now that he’s retired and doesn’t walk the twenty or thirty miles a week he used to, it’s harder for him to maintain his weight though he recently went on the South Beach Diet and has lost a LOT. Again. Meanwhile, my mom has been on every diet in the world and none of them have worked.
It’s a cruel, cruel world!
Caren Crane on 27 Aug 2007 at 7:39 am #
Oh, the jerky conversation! I remember being mystified as a youngster as to why my father (and later, my brother) adored Slim Jims and beef jerky so much. Never got it. Then my son, when he was in Boy Scouts and going camping all the time, would ask us to load him up with various varieties of jerky before camping trips. My huband could live on it! That and bologna. I don’t get it.
Left to his own devices, my husband would eat whatever junk food is around, then go buy more. He has no nutritional sense at all. Doughnuts (which I call Do Nots) are a favorite of his, as are cookies (which he can eat by the bag/box!).
He can also mow the yard and lose five pounds, while I have to revert to South Beach Phase 1 for *weeks* to do the same. It’s completely unfair!
dbrown3400 on 27 Aug 2007 at 8:17 am #
Susan K - They still have IGA grocery stores? I thought those were a thing of the past when I left Tulsa in 1972 or at least one of the time I went back to visit.
Back to the thread. My bf eats pretzels. It drives me NUTS! How anyone can eat the same snack for years beats the heck out of me. We eat ordinary meals for the most part and live a distance apart so there’s no daily routine. He doesn’t like sweets especially, and his work burns a lot of calories so he’s in pretty good shape.
He’s 63 and would rival a guy much younger. I finally told him NO MORE PRETZELS when we are snacking together because I HATE PRETZELS. It worked, no more pretzels, and I wonder why I didn’t say something much, much sooner. Now I can’t get him to bring anything but an array of fattening chips, again no sweets, when we relax together — just like I need all that salt and calories! Somehow this post doesn’t sound right but I can’t figure out why.
Donna
cail on 27 Aug 2007 at 8:23 am #
my dad makes popcorn nearly every evening when he watches tv. its great, cause its usually gourmet popcorn done in a cast iron pot. i’m just always amazed at his devotion to popcorn. hard pretzels, goldfish and nuts are also popular in my parents house.
my ex was prone toward slim jims and usually had a pretty big box of them in his apartment. never ceased to amuse me.
Ellen Henson on 27 Aug 2007 at 9:30 am #
We should be willing to take some of the blame for man’s obsession with meat…we did take a rib way back when! I guess they have been looking for it ever since.
“I’d like to thank you for biting into that apple,” said Adam as he readjusted his fig leaves.
“Really? I thought you were going to be furious with me,” said Eve, checking to see if her cellulite showed through her leaves. “Do these make me look fat?”
“You look fine,” he answers without looking. “How could I be furious? You just got us banned from the Garden of Eden. Do you really think I wanted to spend eternity as a vegetarian? So how bout some snake jerky to hold us over until you make dinner?”
“No way! You know how fat snake makes me! Eat it yourself!”
KMB25 on 27 Aug 2007 at 9:50 am #
My husband will eat an entire pint (or half gallon–whichever is there) of ice cream in one sitting sometimes. I can’t believe it!!! How is that even possible?????
He usually ends up regretting it the next day…hehe. (thank god for small favors!) Me…I really like to have the treats available for me to have, that way if I choose NOT to eat them, I can feel good about my choices!
Of course, on a really bad day, woe be it to the person who stands between me and the chocolate!
~Kim
Claudia Dain on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:00 am #
My DH could live on nuts. Any kind of nuts. Nuts and more nuts. He’s always telling me how healthy nuts are for you…yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me? I love beef jerky. And Fritos, the meth of the chip family.
Julia London on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:34 am #
Claudia, I like beef jerky, too–but in small quantities. Jack London brought home this huge hunk of jerky that just grossed me out.
I agree with you about Fritos! They are head and shoulders above all the other chips…with the possible exception of vinegar and salt thick cut potato chips. Yummmmmm
gannon on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:42 am #
Oh, Julia, I am so with you on the salt and vinegar chips!!!! Mega YUMMMMM!!
twolilhahas on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:47 am #
Beef Jerky is my favorite! But only Buffalo Bill’s Beef Jerky. It’s the best. I could live on it.
I love the BBQ Fritos, too. Yummy!
Claudia Dain on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:53 am #
I have to admit to never having gorged on beef jerky. I like it, but in “reasonable” doses.
There are no “reasonable” doses with Fritos. Overdosing is the only way to go!
Susan K on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:06 am #
Donna - I just moved to this tiny town about 30 minutes south of Columbus Ohio and they still have an IGA. I was surprised myself. I thought they were all gone. But this one is still up and running. It’s also they only grocery store within 20 minutes of the town.
KMB25 on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:16 am #
See for me it’s Doritos and cheese-its…..I absolutely LOVE those…beef jerky?…not really my fav. Don’t get me wrong–I like it, but in small quantities.
SuzyQ on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:29 am #
My DH will eat cereal anytime of the day - and he’s not picky about what kind. Whatever’s in the cabinet will do. As for the meat snack - pepperoni. I can’t seem to keep enough of it in the house. My son loves it too.
twolilhahas - I’m with you on the BBQ Fritos!
Julia London on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:31 am #
Ellen, you are a riot!
colinfirthfan on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:36 am #
Its the other way in my house. My DH is very careful that he eats healthy food while I like to eat junk. I finally eat vegetables now. Both of us need to loose a few pounds so we are much better now!!
I amthe one who buys the junk food - I claim its for the kids though…..
Sabrina Jeffries on 27 Aug 2007 at 11:52 am #
Aw, what I wouldn’t give for a bag of cheetos right now. Alas, I have enough trouble losing weight just by dieting and exercising (they keep telling me that’s how to do it–what am I getting wrong?). If I throw cheetos into the mix, I’m a goner.
My dh is overweight (he loves cookies and ice cream), but he doesn’t exercise at all, and he eats all the time. Yet he stays at the same weight he’s been at for most of our marriage.
Me, I merely LOOK at a doughnut, and it leaps permanently onto my thighs. I’m a food magnet–what can I say?
Keri Ford on 27 Aug 2007 at 12:02 pm #
Jerky, jerky, jerky, I LOVE jerky! Slim Jims are great (esp. the really long ones) but my all time favorite is Deer Jerky. My dad made years ago on the dehydrator and it was the best stuff!
My hubby…not so much. However, he does have his weird stuff. EVERY MORNING for I know about 20 years he has eaten Chips-Ahoy cookies (about 12) in a bowl of milk. His bowl of choice? the plastic ones with the straw mounted to the side.
We started a diet last week, I’m popping diet pills, low calories, next to no fat I lost a whole 2 lbs. He cut back a little and dropped 10 lbs. Life’s just not fair!
Lisa H on 27 Aug 2007 at 12:14 pm #
My girlfriend’s husband has requested she wear bacon scented perfume! He insists if such a potion existed, all men would be reduced to wimpering wusses.
Hmmm….anyone want to go into business?
Julia London on 27 Aug 2007 at 12:49 pm #
Sabrina, I am the same way. I am a food magnet, too. And when I get stressed, I don’t lose my appetite like some lucky people. I eat.
Keri, you can borrow my gun if you want. My husband makes me INSANE with that kind of weight loss!
Lisa H — that is hilarious! Sadly, I think its true
Ellen Henson on 27 Aug 2007 at 1:22 pm #
Lisa H — “meat scented” toiletries would put cosmetic companies out of business faster than I could smear a cup of bacon fat on my parched skin. I know, maybe I could hang some porterhouse steaks off my big fat butt and the entire male population would never notice that I haven’t been climbing on the treadmill lately. Better yet, I could fill the cups of my bra with some bologna to hide the normal sag that usually plagues me. Could liverwurst possibly take the place of my gel footpads?
Don’t get me started on the potential of Italian Sausage!
Thanks for the laugh!
Karen Hawkins on 27 Aug 2007 at 2:09 pm #
I read a perfume study once that discovered that the scents that turned men on the most were: pumpkin pie and fresh cake.
I can understand that . . . those scents turn me on, too.
But liverwurst? Shhheeeeshhhhh!
gannon on 27 Aug 2007 at 3:33 pm #
Ellen, ROFLMAO!!
I’m with you, though, Karen, those sweeter scents are much more of a turn on!
Ellen Henson on 27 Aug 2007 at 4:10 pm #
“You Rat! I know you are cheating on me. I found Bratwurst stains all over your collar!”
Nicole Jordan on 27 Aug 2007 at 5:33 pm #
LOL, Julia! I suppose that’s the price we women pay for being able to bear children. We have a lot more body fat, men have more muscle, and muscle cells burn like a hundred times more calories than fat cells.
I also hear that a fave scent for men is cinamon buns — and I know it’s true in my dh’s case.
And Ellen, your Adam and Eve dialogue is priceless!
NicoleJ
Julia London on 27 Aug 2007 at 8:10 pm #
An update from London Central:
I asked Jack if I could throw out the meat snack. He had a blank look on his face, and they suddenly his eyes lit up and he shouted, “The meat snack!”
He’d forgotten all about it. One would think after years with this guy, I would have learned a long time ago to let a few days pass, then just take care of the more distasteful things around the house and no one is the wiser.
Fortunately, after a joint examination–with me pointing out some of the more unappetizing things about it–he agreed that maybe it should be thrown out. But he looked very sad.
Suzanne Enoch on 27 Aug 2007 at 8:30 pm #
My dad would eat pot roast every day if he could. And the days he couldn’t, he would eat steak. Just the thought of it makes me sag.
For snacks, he loves Brazil nuts. Don’t know why — to me they taste like dirt. But then he’s not a big fan of chocolate, so I think maybe he IS nuts. *g*
doglady on 27 Aug 2007 at 9:43 pm #
I am on the Fritos band wagon and I LOVE salt and vinegar chips, have been since I was the “Yank” kid living in a little English village. Ooooh an tomato crisps! YES!! I am STILL addicted to any kind of Cadbury’s chocolate. My dh was a big fan of meat snacks of any kind, especially Slim Jims. Then again, the man ate banana pudding for breakfast. He would beg me to make a huge banana pudding for dessert and then eat it for breakfast every day until it was gone. I like banana pudding but NOT for breakfast, thank you! Oh and Karen H, I just finished TSWL!! Darlin’ it was wonderful!! It was so much fun and the love story - the big dummy finally realizes his best friend is beautiful - was just divine. I cannot wait for the next one. I LOVE this family!
Jami Alden on 27 Aug 2007 at 10:33 pm #
My husband has a huge sweet tooth, and a bigger chocolate ho never existed. the man can seriously put away an entire box of Godiva truffles, and doesn’t seem to gain an ounce. After 10 years together, he still sports at least a four pack, and he recently dropped some weight due to stress, travel, and an insane hiking trip (he and a friend hiked 75 miles in 2 days. I’m not kidding. They do this every year because it’s “fun.”) and the full six pack re-emerged. I’m a lucky girl in that regard, but it does piss me off to watch him polish off an entire pie or a pint of ben and jerry’s and know that it’s not going to show up on his ass.
Santa on 28 Aug 2007 at 3:16 pm #
It’s criminal what men can get away with! My son (he’s
entered a pie eating contest a couple of weeks ago. This was after spending all day at the picnic eating and eating and eating. He ate two waffles, a muffin, cereal and a donut for breakfast alone. (personal disclaimer: he slept over his nonna’s house and I didn’t get there in time to hold up the chuck wagon). So after all that and an ice cream sundae, he eats the pie and says he could still have a bite to eat for dinner…..because he didn’t finish ALL the pie! And he’s as skinny as a rail!
My eldest daughter is a carbon copy of me at her age and let’s just say she’s gonna have thicker skin than I did at her age!