Time Flies
Jul 1st 2007
Julia LondonOn Writing!
My mother called me yesterday to tell me she has to have a hip replacement. A hip replacement! I was shocked. Okay, yes, my mom is her seventies, but she’s in great shape. She’s the one on the right, horseback riding through the mountains of Costa Rica last year. I never think of her as aging. I never think of her as anything but Mother, always there for me, always in good spirits. I don’t think of her as needing a hip replacement or getting sick or the inevitable.
But it did sober me to the fact my parents are getting older. I saw a thing on Princess Diana in the paper. She would have been 46 today, and I wondered what Wills and Harry could remember about her. It made me think about my own memories. Turns out, I can remember lots of stuff about my mother, but it is the very early memories, before I was in school and was so little I can’t remember much of anything. What I do remember is that life seemed perfect, and those are the memories I cling to. Here are some of my earliest memories of my mother:
1. She stashed moon pies on a carousel beneath the countertop so we could reach them.
2. She would dance around the kitchen to the Beatles, and her skirt would spin out.
3. She would play Puff the Magic Dragon on the piano and sign along in an operatic voice ( wonder if she knew what the song was really about?).
4. We lived on a ranch and had fresh milk and eggs. She would skim the cream off the milk every morning before pouring it on our cereal (yuck).
5. She read to us every night and took us to the library before we could read.
6. She kissed me all the time.
Its really wierd to think that the same woman who would run out to the school bus when my sisters got home needs hip replacement surgery now. And she’s going to be fine — but it just reminded me of how quickly time flies.
What are the earliest memories of your mother? And is it a regional thing, or does anyone else call their mother Mother? Or are they all Mom?
35 Comments »
35 Responses to “Time Flies”
ladydawgfan on 02 Jul 2007 at 12:16 am #
My mother has gone from Mommy to Mom, Ma, and sometimes Mum. Occasionally I call her Mother, but not too often.
Some early memories:
PB&J in front of Bozo’s circus together after I got home from kindergarten.
Her watching her soaps (AKA her “stories”) while ironing in the livingroom.
Her being “cookie mother” for our Girl Scout troup and letting me, her 7 year old future architect daughter use the empty boxes as building blocks.
ladydawgfan on 02 Jul 2007 at 12:25 am #
BTW, my mother broke her hip 2 months ago and had 3 screws put in. She goes for her final x-rays next week and then maybe can start putting weight on her repaired hip. However, she is doing well, when she is not frustrated by her immobility.
Quick suggestion: rent or borrow a standard wheelchair and wheel it through her entire house, through every doorway, around corners, into bathrooms and walk-in closets. Address any access problems NOW before her surgery. We found out too late that the doors to the bathrooms in my mothers house are too narrow for her wheelchair, forcing her to use her walker to get to the toilet, shower, or even brush her teeth.
Now is also the time to arrange to rent a wheelchair ramp, install support bars in the bathroom, rearrange furniture, and declutter (with her supervision RE her belongings). Walkers and wheelchairs catch on EVERYTHING and fragile keepsakes will find their way to the floor quickly, with your mom being the most fragile of all.
twolilhahas on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:19 am #
Wheelchair accessibility is something we’ve dealt with for as long as I can remember. My grandmother has been in a wheelchair for forty years. Good advice, ladydawgfan. It’s amazing the things you don’t think about when you’re not used to dealing with wheelchairs.
Memories are something I’ve lost a lot of during the years. It’s sad really. I wish I remembered more. I remember learning how to tie a bow for the first time sitting on Mom’s lap and playing with the strings on her nightgown. I also remember that sitting on Mom’s lap was always itchy if she hadn’t shaved her legs. lol
Oh, a very early one that I’m not even sure I actually remember or if I may just remember hearing the story until it became a true memory…but when I was three I was flower girl at my uncle’s wedding. I was too afraid to walk down the aisle and Mom had to crawl behind me on her hands and knees to save the wedding. lol I wasn’t going without her!
twolilhahas on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:22 am #
I remember my parents and I were watching a talk show when I was little…so, I guess they were actually watching it and I was just there…anyway, I think it was Oprah, but whoever it was said the word “sex” and I didn’t know what that meant. So, I asked Dad. “Dad, what does sex mean?” He says, “I don’t know, baby, ask your mom. Maybe she knows.” So, I asked Mom and she says, “I don’t know.” I’m all, “So, neither of you know?” And they both agreed, “No, guess not.” The liars! lol
Caren Crane on 02 Jul 2007 at 7:29 am #
Earliest memories include my third birthday party, when I got a pink patent leather purse. It matched my shoes! I remember my birthday as always being all about me (it still is!), with my mother making my favorite dinner and cake. Of course, she did that for all 5 of us, but it was our moment in the spotlight.
I also remember sitting in the floor in the kitchen while she cooked (which it seemed she did *all the time*). She would also give us damp sponges and let us put the Green Stamps into the stamp books. I recall we traded in Green Stamps for furniture for our deck when I was very young.
We have always called my mother “Mama”. It’s pretty common in Tennessee. My husband, who is from NC, called his mother “Ma”, which I thought was odd. *g* My kids (born and raised in NC), have always called me “Mommy” or “Mom”. I blame cable TV!
cail on 02 Jul 2007 at 7:37 am #
I call her Ma or Mom. I think its regional.
I remember her long long hair that she had till I was like three, and sitting at our family friends house feeding an orphaned lamb from his barn. That, obviously, was not in NY.
SuzyQ on 02 Jul 2007 at 8:11 am #
Ladydawgfan my mom went from Mommy to Mom to Ma too. Now most of the time she’s just Ma.
I will always remember those summers spent at the lake and down the shore. My mom used to love to swim so I think I inherited that from her. I also remember baking Christmas cookies (I would be the thumb print maker that then got filled with jelly). Now as for shoes, I can blame that on my mom too - one of my earliest memories was shoe shopping with her.
Julia, my mom is in her seventies too and last year she had a double knee replacement. I can’t believe how fast she recovered and now she can do stuff she couldn’t do in a long time (like walk the mall with me - LOL).
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 8:34 am #
ladydawg, those are good suggestions.
2lilhahas, that is hilarious! That’s a great mom to crawl behind you, LOL
Caren, I remember green stamps! I had forgotten all about them. You had to fill pages and pages to get anything good.
SuzyQ, my mother passed on the handbag crazy gene. Its good to know your mom is up and around and walking the mall. I am sure my mom will be okay, but I still hate that she has to go through it.
elsiehogarth on 02 Jul 2007 at 9:06 am #
This is a wonderful blog since today, my Mommy, is 76. She’s at Hershey Park with my sister Laurie and her family. She had already gone swimming with my niece-Julianna and they were on their way to the park for some rides.
My favorite memories of my Mom are of her getting ready to go out dancing, with my Dad, on Saturday nights. They were both crazy dancers who have pictures of winning contests in most of the New York Clubs: Latin Quarter, Roseland, Copacabana(which they are very sad about because they are closing their doors this month). Even, today, after 52 years of marriage they still dance together.
When I was 4, I use to sit in the bathroom and watch my Mom get ready to go out. I had this fascination with watching her put on makeup: lipstick, eyeliner, mascara etc. It was wonderful to think that someday, I too will be using all these things WHEN I GOT OLDER. Also the garters with the beautiful silk stockings, the dress, the great shoes and the final touch PERFUME. WOW.
Karen Hawkins on 02 Jul 2007 at 10:05 am #
I call my mother “Mom,” but I use “Mother” when I’m teasing her. She laughs.
My mother’s family is Irish and they’re always laughing. It’s the one thing I think of when I speak to my mother — the one thing I’ll take with me forever. No matter what happens, if you ask her how she’s doing, she says “Fantastic!” and she has the merriest giggle.
She is an incredible woman.
When my dad decided he was a Raiders fan, my mother decided to become a Cowboys fan. I came home from school one day and she’d decorated the entire house in Cowboy streamers. She would wear a Cowboys jersey whenever the Raiders were playing.
She didn’t understand the game and never watched the Cowboys play unless they were playing the Raiders, but every time my dad watched his team, he did it in the middle of Cowboy Country. It was so funny!
Julia, thanks for the great blog!
RachelG on 02 Jul 2007 at 10:12 am #
I’ve lived in the northwest all my life and mom and mother or interchangeable.
My mother just turned 70, and the scent of Ponds and Jergens take me right back to my childhood when I used to watch her get ready for her day.
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 10:44 am #
Elsie, how cool is that? I would love to see that sort of dancing — how fun!
Karen, I LOVE that story. hahaha….way to torture a man — mess with his sports team.
Rachel, Ponds and Oil of Olay is what takes me bac. My grandmother told me Oil of Olay would burn your skin. I don’t know where she got that from — but she swore it up to her dying day.
Sabrina Jeffries on 02 Jul 2007 at 12:28 pm #
We’ve always said Mom… IF we’re not using a pet name (my family is seriously into pet names), like “Silly Old Goose Lady” or Mamasan or some other invented-on-the-spot-term. My fondest childhood memory of Mom is of brushing her hair at night while we watched TV or listened to the radio. She loved having her hair brushed, and I loved brushing it.
zambonigirl on 02 Jul 2007 at 12:56 pm #
My mom is called Mombo. Because, you know, Papa loves Mombo…
Early memories of Mombo include her forcing me and Brozo to have our pictures taken at Olan Mills, and her braiding my hair for what felt like HOURS on end. It probably only took her about five minutes, but I HATED it. She also used to curl my hair with a curling iron for special occasions, and she’d always burn my ears or the back of my neck because I would not stand still. When I was about four, she cut it all off. I think she finally let me grow it back when I was six.
Mombo also read to Brozo and me before we went to sleep at night. He would lay on one side of her, and I on the other, and we’d fall asleep listening to her read.
BethanyHamilton on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:14 pm #
Sabrina - My family is the same way with pet names. My daughter wasn’t two hours old when she was dubbed “bunny”.
I usually just call my mother “mom”…unless she isn’t listening, then it’s her first name :P.
My earliest memories are of her helping me get ready for my dance recitals. I was all excited because those were the two days a year I was allowed to wear makeup and have my hair done up. For five years old, that was pretty big stuff!
colinfirthfan on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:20 pm #
We have always called my mother Mom or Ma.
All my memories of my mom are of her always bursting in to song and whipping up fabulous meals. She was my very best friend. The day I got home from college, Mom and I would spend the whole day out. She’d take me to get my hair cut, get a facial - whatever I wanted. Then we’d go and eat lunch do some shopping before heading home. Bliss!
After I got married. She’d come and stay with me and cook and cook and fill my freezer up with enough food so we wouldn’t have to cook for months.
I really really miss talking to her everyday!! She died 6 yrs ago right after she turned 59 so to me she is always the youthful mom (didn’t have a single gray hair), full of energy, bouncing like a bunny with her grand kids, giving us advice, reading to us (when we were little). She was AWESOME!
Ellen Henson on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:36 pm #
How I loved this blog! It made me revisit all the beautiful, sweet and often funny memories that will always be My Mom. My very earliest engulfed me with a warm feeling of security. My teenage memories involve the understanding that she was ALWAYS right.
Unfortunately, My Mom (I was trained to NEVER call her “she.”) passed away from ovarian cancer a few years back. To say I miss her would be an understatement of huge proportions. I still reach for the phone several times a week to call her and talk. I can still smell her perfume on some of the letters she wrote throughout my life.
It is the adult memories of my Mom that I cherish the most. My wedding day, the birth of my son, becoming successful in my job…all the times when my Mom would look at me with such pride and joy.
Mom battled her disease for two long years and during that time she gave me the greatest gift of all. Every morning I would drive to the hospital and have “bath and beauty” time with her. I would spend the whole time telling her about all the drama in my life. I tried to keep things interesting and even joked that I was picking fights with my hubby just so we would have something good to chat about.
The reason this is the greatest gift of my life, besides my family, is that it allowed me to actually show my Mom how great my love for her was. It allowed us to discuss all the large and small things that make up life. It allowed me to say good bye in a sweet and lasting memory.
Thank you, Julia. AND…my love to each Ma, Momma, Mombo, Mom and Mother out there.
(Except that mother-@#$%#* who cut me off of the freeway last night!)
Momma Ellen
Caren Crane on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:57 pm #
Oh, Ellen, I’m glad to hear someone else’s mother objected to being “she”. Mama still ribs me about the horrible inflection all five of us gave “she” when we were teenagers. Gah!
Btw, if anyone is an Alyssa Day/Alesia Holliday reader, please pop over to Romance Bandits today (http://romancebandits.blogspot.com). Alyssa is guest blogging and giving away a couple of her latest, “Atlantis Rising”.
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 1:59 pm #
Oh you guys are making me cry. Ellen and Colinfirthfan, I am so sorry you have lost your mothers. I can’t imagine a world without mine. I am so glad you have such wonderful memories of them.
But it is fun to read about all these moms — and so inspiring. I love all your memories and I love the new name for my mother: Mombo. HA
MizMacgyver on 02 Jul 2007 at 2:33 pm #
Lots of memories, so many I blank out when I try to think of them. My mother passed away 5 years ago, here were some of my thoughts and memories.
http://www.hrdwrkdmom.com/mother.html
PJ on 02 Jul 2007 at 3:02 pm #
My first memories of my mom are after I turned four. Before that I lived mostly with my grandparents while my mom worked to put my dad through law school. I’m the oldest child and only girl so many of my early memories revolve around shopping and doing “girl things” with my mom. We always had the best time and would make a day of it including “lunching out”. I felt so grown up! I loved sitting on the end of the bed and watching her get ready for nights out with my dad. There was always music in our house and she taught all of us kids to dance. Our friends were always welcome at our house. Mom had an “open door” policy, was always up for impromptu parties and never batted an eye when four or five friends showed up just before dinner.
…to be continued
cail on 02 Jul 2007 at 3:13 pm #
oh, the other name, my dad always refers to her as momma bear. that makes me sister bear, dad poppa bear, and the lil bro brother bear.
clearly we read the books when we were younger.
sorry to hear about your losses, they’re tough ones to lose.
PJ on 02 Jul 2007 at 3:33 pm #
Mom had a lot of fears but she did everything in her power to not pass those fears on to us. She was terrified of the water so she enrolled us in Red Cross swimming lessons. I don’t remember her ever going into the lake but she made sure she had five top-notch swimmers. Mom was also terrified of flying and venturing outside her comfort zone. She was happy in our little town of 1800 and had no desire to travel but a quirk of nature landed her with a child (me) who thrived on exploring other places and cultures. Mom stared down her fears and sent me off to Mexico (I was 14) for three months as an exchange student then to Europe for six weeks (I was 16) to study. My love of travel, my independence and ability to adapt to various situations can all be traced back to those early trips and Mom. Sadly, the 23rd anniversary of Mom’s death is this month. We lost her to a heart attack at the age of 53. Thank you for letting me share some of my memories.
Claudia Dain on 02 Jul 2007 at 3:34 pm #
Oh, this is so hard! My mom died in 1998, a long time gone now. I *long* for both of my parents every single day.
I have so many great memories of her. She was super organized and very high energy (hello?), laughed all the time, sang off-key but with gusto (my dad always knew all the words to every single song and would laugh at her while she put in a word she thought sounded about right).
She played the piano to entertain herself so the house was always filled with music. She smoked like a fiend, but did it so elegantly, her nails painted blood red and never smoking the cigarette more than half-way down. The ashtrays were washed after every 4th cigarette.
She and my dad had a teasing, playful relationship which is exactly what I have with my husband. My husband plays the guitar and he knows the words to all the songs. Funny, huh?
She was always Mom. Always and forever Mom.
Susan K on 02 Jul 2007 at 3:50 pm #
I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. She’s my rock. One of my fondest memories of her was just last year. It had been just me and my mom since I was 19 when my step-dad walked out. I lived with her until I was 29 years old (last year). I paid her rent, bought my own groceries, paid my own bills, and took care of the dog when she was out of town. Last year I moved into my first apartment. And I will never forget the day after I moved out. My mom came over to help me unpack stuff. She sat down in my recliner, looked at me and said, “I don’t like this. You need to move back home.” Well that didn’t happen but I will never forget how lost my mom looked. Now she’s helping me move again and this time she doesn’t like the fact I will be living 30 minutes away. As she told me earlier, “You’re still my baby.”
I usually just call her mom. Mother occasionally. Mama when I’m talking to the dog. Mommy when I’m sick or upset.
Suzanne Enoch on 02 Jul 2007 at 4:04 pm #
My mom’s mom, unless the nephews are around. Then she’s grammy (she chose her own moniker because she didn’t want to be called “grandma”) to avoid confusing the boys.
I remember sitting at the kitchen table for lunch, and mom reading “Miss Suzy the Squirrel” to we three girls. Funny, in my oldest memories it’s always summer. Maybe because I wasn’t at school.
We were all forbidden to move more than 10 miles from home base, which has worked out for me since she drives me over leftovers during deadline time and keeps my yard looking nice. Otherwise my house would look like an Addam’s Family reject at least twice a year.
And she still has way more energy than I do — how did that happen? *g*
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 4:17 pm #
MizM — that is such a touching tribute to your mother.
Claudia — I am so sorry your mom is gone, but I had to laugh at the ashtray etiquette.
PJ -I always wanted to be like that — fun and carefree and able to take some dinner drop overs in stride. Alas, I did not turn out that way
Susan, my mom says that to me all the time. “I don’t care how old you are, you are still my baby.”
Suzanne, I wish I lived close enough to my mom for leftovers!!! And yard work!!! When I moved back from D.C. many years ago, I had to stay with her for three weeks. She cooked and did my laundry and made my bed. It was a little slice of heaven.
Brandy on 02 Jul 2007 at 4:19 pm #
My Mom passed away when my Son was 6mths old. Because we were in the military and lived across the country, she had never seen him in person. I remember my Mom (who I called Mama when young and Mom when older), reading to me, helping me pick out books, making an Easter Dress for me one year, and smoking. I swear most of my memories of my mother, she had a cigarette in her mouth. (Even though I was allergic!) I remember her giving me my love of animals because when it came to them she was as soft hearted as I am. I remember her taking a friend of mine to Elizabeth Ardent to teach her how to wear makeup because this friend (when left to her own devices) looked like a clown in her makeup. (She did this as gently as possible). And I remember her teaching my then 4 year old Daughter how to roller skate, and when Daughter was 6 teaching her how to blow bubbles with bubble gum. I miss her.
Judy F on 02 Jul 2007 at 4:23 pm #
My mom is mom. Sometimes Marian if she isn’t paying attention. She is 82 now. Its Ironic my dad was always the strong one, never flighty like my mom could be but with aging my mom has become the strong one. Dad is becoming more and more forgetful where my mom still has her act together.
I remember my mom cutting my bangs by putting tape across my forehead. I swear I have 1/2 inch bangs. For my school picture too. LOL She would make us warm jello if we didn’t feel well.
When I was 9 years old I was hit by a car. My sister was coming down to my friends house to get me and had to call my mom. My sister tells her, “judy had been hit” to which my mom says who bunched her… LOL I still can remember her waking me up every so many hours to be sure I was ok.
Great blog
Brandy on 02 Jul 2007 at 4:24 pm #
cont’d….. She’s been gone 5 years now and I think of her every day. Especailly when looking at my Son’s red hair (inherited from her), in the cranky way he wakes up (like her) and the way his eyes tilt when he smiles (like her). I think God knew we would need alot of love to replace her and gifted us with Son before we knew she was unwell. Sorry to bore y’all, I just miss her.
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 5:14 pm #
Its not boring, Brandy. I find this all very touching and interesting.
Judy, I was the recipient of several tape-across-the-bow bang trimmings, LOL
Ellen Henson on 02 Jul 2007 at 10:20 pm #
Tonight I read every word of every blog. You are all such wonderful women who have all been blessed with great Moms. Hmmmm…maybe there’s a connection.
Night all….
Ellen
Julia London on 02 Jul 2007 at 10:26 pm #
I thought the same thing, Ellen — there’s a connection.
Aimee on 04 Jul 2007 at 1:31 pm #
We called her mom or mommy although as we get older we tend to all revert to mom mom because that is what the grandkids are taught to call her funny thing is most adults also call her this.
Earliest memories is either of her taking me to work with her (she worked at a movie store) and me talking to her boss calling him boss …her bathing me in the sink at the cabin in the mountains that didn’t have indoor plumbing……or crawling into bed with her to snuggle while she read a romance and asking her if THE MAN (my dad) was asleep which I didn’t call him dad till I was about 6 or 7 and still till this day refer to him as THE OLD MAN
TinaLouiseF on 05 Jul 2007 at 3:13 pm #
My mom usually only gets called Mother ocassionlly. I learned at a young age that in a store, I need to call her by her first name, or everyone answered to mom.
We had a surprise 40th birthday party for my mom. Dad picked me up from the train on Friday morning and he picked up her best friend from the plane Saturday morning. Both mornings, mom thought that dad was going to the restaurant for breakfast. Sunday was the party, our neighbors brought over the cake and we quickly decorated the deck for the party. My brother didn’t get down from his job with the outfitter early enough for the party, but he announced his engagement that day.
Both of mom’s parents died of cancer at the age of 52. She wants to ignore this decade and have a party at 60.