A few months ago, I was surfing the web–which I often do when I’m supposed to be writing–and I came across a review for a book in which the hero is a shape shifter. “Yeah,” you say. “Big deal.” Well, this particular shape-shifting hero turns into a squid. Yes. A. Squid.

Now, I like shape shifters. One of my favorite authors is Lori Handeland and her heroes turn into werewolves. Normally I don’t like werewolf. Wolves are dogs and dogs lick themselves and each other. Dogs are butt sniffer, but Lori is so good that I can suspend disbelief and forget about the whole dog licking and sniffing thing.

But a hero who turns into a squid? I think not, and there is no way I can suspend disbelief for a fish. It’s just not sexy. And can you image the conversation between the hero and heroine when he tells her he’s really a squid.

“Baby, I have to something to tell you. I’m a squid.”
“Are you high?”
“No. When the moon gets full, I turn into the Squid King.”
“Oh, so that explains why you smell fishy, won’t eat calamari, and squirt ink.”

Now, I’m all for stretching boundaries and pushing envelopes, but some things are just wrong. What’s next? Jack-o-lope heroes?

So, what do you all think of a squid hero? And if you read paranormals, what is the oddest shape shifter you’ve read?

60 Comments »

I am a believer in astrology to a certain extent. Not the daily horoscopes (unless it tells me something good, like on the day American Diva is released, it says I am going to experience a surge in business that I’ve only dreamed about, and then I’m all over it), but the characteristics of the signs.

I have noticed over the years that there are too many characteristics people share with their zodiac for there not to be something to it. For example, I am a Pisces, and Pisces are notorious for swimming in the opposite direction to avoid confrontation, which I so do. Pisces also can be gullible (check), easily seduced (check), spaced out (check) and absent-minded (check).

But that’s okay, because everyone also knows that Pisces are also multi-talented, easy going, and ultra popular (check, check and double check). In fact, a hairdresser once told me that Pisces are the most evolved of all the signs because they come at the end of the zodiac. As I am a Pisces, I believed him. I even went so far to suggest that as my birthday comes near the end of the Pisces sign, I must be uber-evolved. I hadn’t tipped him yet, so he didn’t argue.

The other thing astrology is that birds of a feather tend to flock together. That’s certainly true for me. The majority of my good friends are water signs (Scorpio and Cancer). And I have been married twice, both times to Cancers, and both times to major procrastinators, which is so true of those silly crabs.

So now I am curious about the astrology of this group. What’s your sign, baby? And do you tend to stick with people of your own ilk, or do you venture all over the astrological zone? What are some of the characteristics of your sign that fit you to a tee?

66 Comments »

At the request of many of you, today we’re going to give up our hot man pic and instead address the topic that has been burning many of your reader hearts — HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!

NOTE: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. This post is for readers who’ve already read the book, or those readers who don’t care about spoilers.

Again, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! This is a no-holds-barred discussion.

We’ve even come up with a discussion guide to get ya’ll rolling:

1) Did you re-read the earlier Harry Potter books before reading the new one?

2) Were you satisfied or disappointed with HP and the Deathly Hallows?

3) Did you find that Rowling’s writing style changed as she went through the series?

4) Do you feel the books became too dark? Too long? Or juuust right?

5) What did you like best about the book?

Now go, lovely goddess readers, and add your own comments, debate the details, and just discuss, discuss, discuss!!!

(And don’t forget that this coming Tuesday, Suzanne Enoch’s TWICE THE TEMPTATION, and Rachel Gibson’s TANGLED UP IN YOU, will be on a shelf near you!)

37 Comments »

I keep hearing about the “wallpaper historical” as if there really are two kinds of historical romances, ones with accurate historical detail and ones without. I find the notion amusing. Because there are WAY more kinds than two.

Yes, there ARE historical romances with rich historical detail, mores, and manners that immerse you in a period. And there are also historicals where you couldn’t guess the period unless someone told you. But between those is a vast mixture. That’s because there are as many types of readers as there are types of books.

For example, there are the readers who enjoy historicals because they allow plots that wouldn’t work in a contemporary. After all, a man kidnapping a woman in a historical can lead to hot sex and witty banter, but any man kidnapping a woman in a contemporary is probably not the hero, and she’ll probably be testifying against him at trial. And let’s not forget the ever popular marriage of convenience, which is great fun in a historical and just plain sleazy in a contemporary (think green card marriages and Russian mail-order brides).

Which brings us to the readers who read historicals for the character types. They’re the ones who’ll buy any book with a highwayman … or a duke … or a Scotsman … or a rakehell. Some want accurate Scotsmen; some don’t care that Scotsmen didn’t really wear kilts in 17th century Scotland–for them it’s no fun without a kilt.

I could go on and on—readers who like those historicals that have lyrical language, readers who like the themes involving class difference or social standing, and readers who find the sex more exciting with corsets. There are readers who mix and match–who like to learn some history and thus want it to be accurate but who also want their proper lady heroines to be down and dirty in the bedroom. Or ones who don’t want any sex, but also don’t want to be “bored” with politics or religion of the period.

My point is, it’s useless to separate historical romances according to how accurately they mimic the period. For my own part, my books have certain historical underpinnings that are absolutely correct (I do tons of research from period sources). But my novels don’t describe every gown, and my characters have more modern sensibilities. So are they wallpaper historicals? I honestly don’t know. And I honestly don’t care. My readers, whoever they happen to be, enjoy them. Some other writers’ readers would hate them. I’m okay with that. I figure there are plenty of readers to go around.

So what about you? Assuming you read historicals, why do you read them? What kind is your favorite? Which characteristics of the historical romance rev you up? Which ones bore you? And if you don’t read historicals at all, why not?

30 Comments »

Recently my dh brought home an article he found in USA Today about successful dieting. Reportedly, a study showed that not all dieters are created equal. In terms of losing weight and keeping it off months later, Apple-shaped people do better on low-glycemic diets than Pear-shaped people. Pear-shaped people do equally as well on low-fat diets as low-glycemic diets.

But I’m sorta shaped like a banana. So where does that leave me?

Dh must be an Apple, since he’s done very well on the South Beach diet, which basically emphasizes eating low-glycemic foods (minimal sugar, refined flour, certain starches) along with lower fat and higher protein and fiber.

But what does a Banana do? I’d rather exercise than diet, but I don’t always have the time. And I can’t stand to be hungry. I’m not giving up white wine, either, since at the end of a long workday, that’s how I unwind.

Enter diet science. The best diet tip I’ve ever found came from a personal trainer I hired to advise me a couple of years ago. (Even though I’d done aerobics and ridden horses since my twenties, I started working out with weights to maintain muscle mass and keep my metabolism high, since the older we get, the more muscle we lose and the more our metabolism slows down).

He explained why protein is so important to maintaining muscle, why I should increase my intake of protein a little each day (about 30 grams), and why I need to eat a little protein every 3-4 hours to keep my muscles from breaking down.

Now eating every 3-4 hours is a program I could love!

He also told me about a certain brand of whey protein shake – a flavored powder you add to milk that tastes a bit like a milkshake. (I now buy chocolate and cafe-mocha, but I’m not hawking the brand, so I won’t put the name here in this blog. But trust me, some protein drinks taste so awful they make me gag.) Now my dh and I both drink a shake daily around 11 a..m. between breakfast and lunch.

I will always thank that guy, because his advice changed my life. I’m never hungry anymore. I have more energy all day long and rarely feel that 4 p.m. slump. My craving for sugar is way down. And my body will be better prepared to fight the natural process of aging over the next several decades.

So what shape are you? Apple, pear, banana, or something else? Does one diet or exercise program work better for you than others? And do you have a fave diet tip that might work well for the rest of us fruits?

45 Comments »

Ok, just kidding about the “Or Else.” This is not a Forced Captioning Post, I promise. But is IS a FUN Captioning Post, so READ ON!

I thought we’d celebrate Almost Friday (aka Thursday) by stirring your creative juices by captioning a picture, and boy, do I have a great picture for you!

The rules? I don’t have any. Just look at the pic, write whatever pops into your massively creative skull cap, and we’ll all read what you’ve written and then laugh so loud we wake the baby (or the guy in the next cubicle, as the case may be). Afterwards, we’ll add our own comments, which will make YOU laugh and then—-

Heck, you’ve all been here before, so you know how it goes. Besides, if one of your entries REALLY knocks my socks off, I may send out an autographed book to an unsuspecting goddess poster.

We goddesses are unpredictable like that.

So, put on your thinking caps and give us your best caption/short scene/or funny comment!

75 Comments »

Yes, today I went to Disneyland. This evening, actually. Being that I live about five miles from the park, and have for my entire life, I invested in an Annual Pass. You know if you go five times during the year it’s more than paid for itself. Ahem.

Tonight my mom, sister, and two nephews went expressly to see the fireworks. I LOVE fireworks. And nobody does ‘em better than D-Land. The whole narration by Julie Andrews, the themes from the various rides and parades (my favorites, of course, are the explosions set to Star Wars and Indiana Jones), and my five-year-old nephew sitting on my shoulders and yelling “fire in the hole!” every ten seconds. It was great.

I have a great many fond memories surroundings trips to Magic Kingdom. I still remember the first time I was brave enough to go on the Haunted Mansion ride, and how I hummed the theme from “Scooby Doo” under my breath the entire time. The way I always used to pretend to be a space fighter pilot while waiting in line for Space Mountain. And I’ve been a pirate several times, though these days I’m content to watch Captain Jack Sparrow scamper through the ride. It’s a place where I just can’t be cynical, no matter how long the lines are or how much the churros cost. It’s Disneyland, and to me it really is magical.

My sister worked at the park while going to college, and she has tons of stories about having to pop peoples’ balloons with her name tag when the string got tangled in the lapbar on Space Mountain and they refused to leave without it, about literally running into Steven Spielberg when she was moving queue posts, about people peeing where…well, this is a child-friendly blog. *g* No one goes to the bathroom.

Have you ever been to Disneyland (or Disneyworld or the one in Tokyo or Paris)? Did you enjoy it? Do you have a special memory from your trip? What’s your favorite ride?

49 Comments »

WARNING:  DARK HUMOR AHEAD.  If you do not like dark humor, I humbly apologize in advance.  Having said that, here goes: 

I have had a number of interesting jobs in my life.  The most “colorful” was in college when I worked for a company hired by the DC sewer folk to study the pipes under DC and its suburbs - some of the pipes dated back to the Lincoln administration.  In other words, they were freaking old.  There were two main methods of checking the pipes for cracks - one was running a video camera on a cable through the pipe.  As the college-aged aide, I had the oh-so-important job of watching the tape and marking which pipes under which streets had cracks.  As you can imagine, I drank a lot of caffeine that summer.  Yawwwwwn.

The other way of checking out cracks at least got me out of the office.  The crews would pump a colored, non-toxic gas through the pipes.  If it came up through your toilet, there was a leak.  My responsibility when we did this method was to pass out flyers telling residents about the test and that the gas was not toxic and whom to call should they see the gas. 

Well.  One of the places we left a flyer was a funeral home.  It was not one of those quietly sophisticated places with pillars.  It looked like a technicolor version of the Addams’ family abode.  On its roof flashed a giant green neon sign with the owner’s name for all the county to see.

Well.  The managers of this funeral home didn’t pay attention to our informative flyer, much to their everlasting chagrin.  Grin being the operative part of that word!  What I failed to mention was that this non-toxic, odorless gas was red, like brimstone and during a service for someone’s dearly departed, brimstone red gas began to seep up through the drains - into the chapel which was located in the funeral home’s basement!!

The family of the deceased was very displeased.  I later got the impression there had been some disagreement as to the final resting place of their dearly departed - up or down? Because they had not read our informative flyer, the funeral home had no explanation for this seemingly paranormal sign from beyond the grave.

The family was mad at the funeral home, as they should have been.  But because stuff flows downhill, especially in the sewer business, we college gofer aides got in trouble when the funeral director accused us of leaving no flyer.  I know we put one on their door because we shook our heads over the garish blinking green neon sign.  Good thing was, our boss was laughing too hard to do much more than shake his finger at us.

The next time we had to “serve” a funeral home, we went inside and put the flyer in someone’s live hands.  Being a more sophisticated establishment with pillars, they had a great laugh at the expense of their garish competitor.  But they didn’t let us ride a gurney down the hall (see doglady’s story from “The Big O” last Saturday).  I feel cheated somehow.

So what weird jobs have you held?  What funny things have happened to you on the job?  Are you scarred for life?

36 Comments »

The last three times I’ve flown, my flights have been delayed due to mechanical failure. So, as I waited to board United flight 765 on the 15th, I was a bit suspicious. Not because there was anything wrong, but because NOTHING was wrong. I was with my friend, Laura Lee Guhrke, who knows my history with mechanical failure and delayed flights, and the closer we got to departure, the more my suspicion grew and the more apprehensive I felt. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, but as we boarded I blurted out, “I’m cursed,” like I had tourettes or something.

“Don’t say that,” Laurie warned me. “Don’t even think it.”

I tried not to think about it, and as we taxied to the runway, my anxiety eased. We didn’t have to wait in line forever, and everything was perfect. We hurled down the runway and . . . the pilot slammed on the brakes. After a few tense moments the pilot told us that a light had come on indicating that a door was open. So, we taxied back to the gate and waited around for an hour before we could take off.

Now, an hour isn’t a bad wait . . . unless it means you’ll miss your connecting flight. Which we did. When we got to Denver, United had been kind enough to re-book our flight for 9:30 pm. It was 3:30. That’s seven hours. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big bitcher. It’s kinda my thing. But no amount of bitching could get us on an earlier flight.

I looked at Laurie and asked, “What are we going to do for seven hours?”

Her answer, “Pub crawl.”

At the risk of sounding like a horrid alcoholic, it was cocktail hour somewhere in the world and we were stuck in the airport for 7 hours. So we hit the bars on concourse C before moving to concourse A. Now, we didn’t have martinis in all the bars. In most of them we just had a diet Coke, but pub crawling did pass the time quicker than sitting at the gate with a stack of magazines .

Have you ever been stuck in an airport for hours on end? What did you do to pass the time?

39 Comments »

A little gratuitous HUGH from your goddess authors to while away a stodgy Sunday . . .

Ok, now you may go back to your regular Sunday schedule, hopefully a little brighter, a little lighter, and with a smile that will last for HOURS.

32 Comments »