London fashion (disasters)
May 4th 2007
Claudia DainGoddess Grins
In case you didn’t know, I just got back from 10 days in London. It was fantastic, amazing, perfect, and joyous.
Now that I have that out of the way, it’s time to tell you the dark side of the trip, the nasty underbelly of London Life.
I saw men wearing capri pants. Not long shorts, not flood pants, but capri pants. It was a shock to my system and I’m not sure that my retinas will ever recover. Men should not wear capri pants. Men have hairy legs. Men should wear either pants or shorts, but not loose and flowy pants that end mid-calf.
It was amazing, and not in a good way.
On the female side of the bad fashion equation were ballet flats. Cute in a dance studio, but woefully impractical on hard city streets. No support at all and a sole as thin as paper.
I watched more women than I could count mincing their way through London, each step an obvious exercise in agony, bandaids criss-crossed over their toe joints, the rest of their foot bright red in rebellion to lack of good arch support.
It wasn’t pretty.
I’ve been a participant in more than one fashion disaster. Gaucho pants spring instantly to mind. Mine were brown and had very wide legs and, even though they were in fashion, made me look like a circus clown who’d lost her tent.
There are some looks that just shouldn’t leave the fashion runway.
Tube tops would make that list; if you have a sizeable bust you look a bit like a hot-air balloon and if you don’t have much of a bust, the tube top kills whatever you started out with.
Hot pants. I wore something called Sizzle Pants–it was exactly like wearing a bathing suit bottom. What was I thinking? Oh, right, I wasn’t thinking; I was wearing what the fashion designers had trotted down the runway.
Skinny jeans. I saw women in London wearing skinny jeans that looked more like tights made out of blue denim than actual pants. They were wearing them with ballet flats, naturally.
So, how about you? What fashion disasters have you participated in? Jeans with a one inch zipper? Gauchos? Thigh-high boots? Hey, I used to wear a red tube top; you’re among friends.
57 Comments »
57 Responses to “London fashion (disasters)”
Susan K on 04 May 2007 at 7:47 am #
I look absolutely horrible in capri pants. I’m too short to pull it off. They just look like ankle high pants on me. Yuck!
In high school I would wear flannel shirts over a t-shirt all the time and half the time they didn’t match. It was the thing to do at the time. That’s when grunge was in. Of course I also wore a flannel because Sodapop Curtis from The Outsiders wore one. And I was in love with him!
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 8:06 am #
Susan K, I look horrible in capri pants, too, but I’m stuck with wearing them. I’ve fallen into that Neverland of being too old for shorts and it’s too hot for long pants. What’s a woman to do? I wear capris, but I rarely leave the house in them. I consider this a compromise. LOL
SuzyQ on 04 May 2007 at 8:07 am #
Oh yes, I remember gauchos and tube tops. I can’t believe tube tops are coming back - they are in all the stores. As for me, well growing up in the 80’s kind of says it all. There were times I was so decked out in neon that you had to wear sunglasses just to look at me.
Legwarmers? And it wasn’t even winter.
How about the shirts that hung of the shoulders a la Flashdance?
It was a fashion free for all!
smlt76 on 04 May 2007 at 8:14 am #
Late 80’s, early 90’s, layered socks(two colors of course, mixed any way that you chose) with tight cuffed jeans. keds with no socks, same time period(I remember doing this after watching Dirty Dancing for the first time).
Kasey on 04 May 2007 at 8:28 am #
In the 80’s I was really young but I wore teh tight cuffed jeans and then rolled them, wore the sweatshirts about three sizes too big, snap braceletts, bright colored leggins, the layered socks, keds or jelly shoes.
As for men in capris, I was in Boston two years ago with my aunt and we saw a couple of men in capris. We said exactly the same thing, “What were they thinking?” I have no idea if they were from Boston, they few that we saw could have been tourists like us.
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 8:43 am #
Kasey! Say it isn’t so!! We have to stop this evil migration of capri pants from across ‘the pond.’ I’m completely certain that no American man would be caught dead in capris. It’s a foreign invention, has to be.
French, maybe? They have done some weird and wonderful things to us in the name of high fashion.
Americans! We must defend our borders from the traveling capri pants invasion!
Julia London on 04 May 2007 at 8:46 am #
Aaaah, good ol’ manpris. My husband was horrified into speechlesseness the first time we saw them.
My disaster was a micromini. I was a lot younger, a lot skinnier–but that didn’t change the fact that my undies were showing most of the day and no one told me!! Just sign me Julia, always a sheep following the leader.
MJ on 04 May 2007 at 8:48 am #
The ‘painter pants’ uniform that was IN for a year or so while I was in high school, back when the earth was still cooling. White painter pants with a red or blue bandanna tied to the loop halfway down the left leg, worth with a white turtleneck with red or blue gingham shirt half open over top (and tucked in). Worn with clogs. And in winter (I live in the great white north), a “Michelin Man” down jacket and big furry boots with the white painter pants tucked into them.
Who said that public schools don’t have a uniform?
Single worst fashion disaster as an ‘adult’? Kneecap high ‘catwoman’ black books. My only defense is that I was only 19 and they were the only really tall black boots I could find (I have very long legs). I cringe when I remember them….
KariE on 04 May 2007 at 8:53 am #
My girlfriend and I were just talking about this the other day.
Leggings that you would wear under skirts. The ones I wore had a bit of lace on the end (psst..I think they are making a comeback).
Hammer Pants!!! Couldn’t touch me with my A-1 fashion sense!!
Let’s not forget about the hair accessories such as a banana clip or those super wide head bands. I’m talking about the fabric ones, not the typical plastic ones that hurt the heck out of your head right behind your ears.
Last but not least….buttons. I could never have enough buttons on my blue denim jacket. The higlight of the trip to the mall (with mom or dad in tow) was getting more buttons!! Yes I was sooooo cool!! My mood ring told me so.
Kasey on 04 May 2007 at 9:04 am #
Yes - we must stop the man capris from invading our borders, it is not a pretty sight to behold. Nope, not pretty at all.
KariE - I have to confess, I bought a mood ring on my last trip to the Mall of America.
Karen Rose on 04 May 2007 at 9:07 am #
I liked cowl-neck sweaters. Have they come back? My biggest regret - 5″ wedged heels when I was 14 and 5′0 dating (briefly) an 18 yr old who was 6′2″. I assume he’s still 6′2″ … out there, somewhere. He had a mustache … at the time I thought the wedges were worth the pain.
Wedges killed my arches, damaged my knees and give me a great excuse for not working out today.
Claudia - I like capri pants - sorry. I live in FL and it’s kind of what everyone wears here year round. Plus then you only have to shave your legs halfway up. Oh, that was probably TMI.
Glad you’re back!!
Sabrina Jeffries on 04 May 2007 at 9:13 am #
Cowl-neck sweaters, definitely. I look horrible in them, but that didn’t seem to stop me.
Kasey on 04 May 2007 at 9:14 am #
Karen - there is nothing wrong with women wearing capris pants. I wear them too, especially on cooler during the summer (or when I don’t feel like shaving my whole leg…yeah, I do that too). But like Claudia said, there is just something wrong about seeing a man wearing them.
Stacy S on 04 May 2007 at 9:31 am #
I love capris. Don’t know about men wearing them though. I hate how all the jeans seem to be bell bottoms or flared.
Karen Hawkins on 04 May 2007 at 9:32 am #
One word .. flashdance.
That’s all I’m sayin’.
Karen H who can only hope no pictures surface
Cail on 04 May 2007 at 9:32 am #
actually Claudia I have to disagree with you on the ballet flats.
As a seasoned NYer those are my life saver when it comes to walking the long walks in the city. If you have to be business casual at work and don’t want to walk around in 2 inch heals, they’re quite the godsend.
KariE, those leggings under skirts with lace on the bottom are almost out of fashion again! I love how fashion really migrates west- I saw them in Iceland a year or so ago, and they popped up in NY in the fall. They’re being phased out, I think. Although I’ve started seeing bright colored tights instead. Reminds me of the 90’s. That is really not an era we need to revisit.
I’d say floral print overall shorts were my biggest fashion failure. Naturally with a flannel shirt tied about my waist. Gotta love the 80s and 90s.
MJ on 04 May 2007 at 9:32 am #
I’d forgotten mood rings….
My first bikini had a mood stone connecting the two cups….nice teal color in the sunshine, but turned black as soon as you hit the water…..
What about the current craze for wearing flannelette pajama pants in public? One thing when the 17-19 year old students wear them….but middle aged women??
krissyinva on 04 May 2007 at 9:46 am #
Manpris? I’m glad I haven’t witnessed that one!! I remember paint splattered jeans, I also had jean cut off shorts that were rolled up, also jeans that we bent over to tighten and roll up, I also remember using those shirt chips or gathering andtwisting the bottom of the shirt to tie a knot, oh and taking the bottom hem of the shirt and putting it down your shirt to create a shirt-bra(that was my fav, lol).
Cail on 04 May 2007 at 9:53 am #
i think this tread should be titled “What Not to Wear 80’s 101!”
KariE on 04 May 2007 at 9:54 am #
I’ve thought of another!!! I think they were called stirrup pants. I remember that I had to make sure I had the right length, if they were too short they would creap down your botty instead of creaping up your legs. (I think my mom still wears them)
Kasey on 04 May 2007 at 10:09 am #
Oh we used to do the shirt bra all the time in volleyball practice because the gym was so freaking hot in the summertime.
Caren Crane on 04 May 2007 at 10:35 am #
KariE, not the stirrup pants! I remember wearing some wide-wale corduroys tucked into my tan suede ankle boots and clipping straps to the bottom of my pants legs that went under my heel to keep them securely inside the boots! That was, of course, the early 80s.
Speaking of which, can we talk about the enormous shoulder pads? If you don’t remember them, watch “Working Girl”. Yikes!
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 10:38 am #
Cail, I noticed the ballet flats in London only because of the painful, mincing, ouchy steps the women were taking while wearing them. Maybe they were too small? Made of inflexible plastic? I don’t know, but these women weren’t walking, they were hobbling along, bandaids clearly visible all over their feet.
I felt like such an old woman, and I mean that in a good way. I was wearing comfortable, sturdy shoes!
I sound like my mother. Oy.
Stirrup pants! I had those! I think I’ve burned all the photos.
I had painter pants, too. My dad made me return them. Guess he didn’t want his daughter to look like a house painter? LOL
Suzanne Enoch on 04 May 2007 at 10:59 am #
OMG, stirrup pants! I think I still have a pair WAAAY back in my closet where mortals fear to tread.
I wore the gauchos, too. Blue ones. Luckily I don’t think anyone took photos of me in them — they probably realized it was something no one would want to be reminded of later.
MJ on 04 May 2007 at 11:03 am #
Thank goodness they never made stirrup pants long enough for me to wear them….
And the gaucho thing…. was made even worse by wearing them with the Cowlneck sweater and the brown, round-toed leather boots. Earth tones predominated…..
SuzyQ on 04 May 2007 at 11:03 am #
Stirrup pants, yup, I remember them. They hurt my arches after a while.
Caren - the shoulder pads? Some outfits made us look like football players!
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 11:21 am #
Karen R: capri pants. Not only do I wear them, I bought 2 pair this week. All I’m saying is that I look HORRIBLE in them. In fact, I have to hide them from my daughter. If she knew I wore capri pants, she’d burn them on the gas grill.
She thinks she’s protecting me, she who can wear ANYTHING, even that retro cowl neck sweater she bought this winter. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it WAS retro.
You wait long enough, it ALL comes back.
Julia London on 04 May 2007 at 11:22 am #
You wait long enough, it all comes back…but SOME people can’t squeeze into it anymore.
DebMarlowe on 04 May 2007 at 11:25 am #
Early eighties. Preppy was in. Worst faux pas? Knickers. Remember those? Man did I think I was cool!
But I do miss my big honking 80s hair. Loved it.
Susan K on 04 May 2007 at 11:35 am #
I used to wear stirrup pants. I have several pairs. Wow. I didn’t even remember those till someone mentioned them.
Susan K on 04 May 2007 at 11:35 am #
Ooops I meant to say I HAD several pairs. Don’t have any now.
Caren Crane on 04 May 2007 at 11:54 am #
Deb, not the knickers! I had the coolest pair ever. They were olive green (corduroy, of course) and I had some purple shirt I wore with them, as well as purple and green argyle knee socks (I kid you not!) and my retro penny loafers. I was also twelve, had a Dorothy Hamil haircut, big glasses, braces over the crookedest teeth in the universe and was all knobby knees, elbows and big feet. Oh, yeah, I was cool, baby.
I am SO GLAD no one ever took a picture!
RachelG on 04 May 2007 at 11:55 am #
Man in Capri’s? Say it ain’t so. As for ballet flats, I was in NY a few weeks ago, and there were tons of ballet flats. I’m afraid that like a plague of locust, they will spread across the country from coast to coast.
I wore jean gaucho’s with colorful stitching. Horrendous since I am 5′1. I also did the spiral perm thing in the eighties. It looked like dried out, deranged poodle hair. Oh and the shoulder pads that made women look like linebackers.
KariE on 04 May 2007 at 11:57 am #
We believe you Susan K!!!!
KariE on 04 May 2007 at 11:58 am #
Do the BIG BANGS count as a fashion disaster?
Caren Crane on 04 May 2007 at 11:59 am #
Claudia and Rachel, there’s no escaping the ballet flats. Gap is carrying a line in every color imaginable, so a new generation of girls and young women will have their arches falling in no time! My feet are not happy in any flat shoe. Give me a chunky two-inch heel any day!
Aimee on 04 May 2007 at 12:46 pm #
wow I am so giggling in remeberance of all those trends and the fact I have tried almost all of them and those clips that you hooked the corner of your shirt through we called them no-no clips now not because we look back in horror but cause that is what they look like a no smoking no loitering sign.
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 12:50 pm #
Yeah, Rachel, that’s how I felt about seeing men in capris. HOW was this possible? Did the poor guy (multiple guys, actually) not own a mirror? Did his Significant Other not burst out laughing when he presented himself for their outing?
Of course, I went out in big shoulder pads and velvet platforms and gauchos and cowl neck sweaters and cap sleeves (who has the upper arms to carry off cap sleeves–past the age of 14, that is?). Not that I wore all this stuff at the same time, but still…
Sabrina Jeffries on 04 May 2007 at 12:52 pm #
I miss shoulder pads. My shoulders are droopy, so suits never fit on me right unless they have shoulder pads. Sigh.
I grew up walking barefoot or in sandals all the time. At age 23 I developed plantar fasciitis (and that was long before I gained weight), so I’ve been wearing orthotics and walking shoes most of my adulthood. The thought of wearing ballet flats makes me cringe!
DebMarlowe on 04 May 2007 at 1:06 pm #
Oh, yes, Caren, knickers. Mine were grey corduroy! I had a grey and burgandy sweater and socks to go with them. Oh, yeah baby!
I have yet to see my first manpris! Something tells me they’ll be slow to catch on here in the South. One can only hope.
Now I’m remembering the floor length peach polyester gown I wore in third grade at our bicentennial celebration. *Very* Marcia Brady!
Beth on 04 May 2007 at 2:07 pm #
Okay - I’ve gotta get a visual on this whole Manpris thing. Claudia, did you see things like this (considered “shorts”):
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2918262?refsid=186229&refcat=0%7e2376777%7e2374609%7e2374615%7e2377689&SourceID=1&SlotID=1&origin=related
or a little longer like this (considered “pants”):
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2931832/0~2376777~2374609~2374615~2378157?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=2378157&P=1
Hmm….while I can’t say I necessarily like those two items, I would have to say that gauchos are definitely worse!
-Beth
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 2:22 pm #
How did I miss the knicker craze? That one totally blew by me.
Maybe my big bangs were blocking my view?
KMB25 on 04 May 2007 at 2:47 pm #
Ok…all I can say is MC Hammer pants. They were HUGE…literally AND figuratively when I was younger. But they looked horrible on EVERYONE!!! I don’t even think MC Hammer could pull those things off.
Oh yesh and halter tops…I know technically those are still in..but NOT for me. I just don’t have the frame to pull those off
I have a few pairs of capris…but I don’t always wear them a lot..I think I look funny in them!
~Kim
Kasey on 04 May 2007 at 2:52 pm #
Remember those zuba (not sure if I spelt that right) pants and the hypercolor t-shirts. I didn’t wear them but I know a lot of people who used to.
As for capris, I am very pick about mine and the length of them. If they are too long or too short I just look weird in them.
Judy f on 04 May 2007 at 3:56 pm #
I love Capri pants, they are great to wear to work.
I have had the bad perm. yikes.
Searsucker outfits my mom make us wear. Lordy they were terrible.
I used to wear killer heels now I can’t at all. Bad feet.
Tube tops are not pretty on me, makes me look flat as a board.
Sherri Browning Erwin on 04 May 2007 at 4:49 pm #
How about parachute pants? Harem pants? I never did either of those, but I am guilty of stirrup pants. Guilty of oversized hair bows a la early Madonna. Lace tights(coming back in now). Bad news, Claudia- men in America wear them too. Over at the Whine Sisters, we call them Manpris. Worse when worn with mandals.
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 4:50 pm #
You know, reviewing all these dumb things we were suckered into wearing in bygone days, maybe it’s a suitable revenge to have guys showing up in capris.
I mean, they can’t know how weird they look, right? And we’ll have the pictures to blackmail them with later, when cool reason returns and men wear long pants like they’re SUPPOSED to.
Not that I’m prejudiced or anything.
Sherri Browning Erwin on 04 May 2007 at 4:55 pm #
Oh, and I almost forgot Capezio jazz flats and fingerless gloves. I had a Duran Duran phase. Fortunately, very few photos of that remain, but my excuse is that I was fourteen.
Nicole Jordan on 04 May 2007 at 5:27 pm #
Tube tops… yep, what a disaster for us flatties, lol. And I just cut out the huge shoulder pads of a pants suit that I love so it would still be in fashion.
My big problem with trends is that if would always save/hoard my new stuff for “nice” so I only wore it maybe a few times before it was out of style again. Can’t tell you how many times I gave/threw away perfectly good outfits and accessories that I’d outgrown and the were in almost mint condition.
Fun topic, Claudia. I’ve been laughing at the images and wincing at memories.
And actually, I think I would prefer manpries over those horrible baggy shorts all the men/boys were wearing a couple of years ago that hung down off their hips and almost fell off!
NicoleJ
Kay on 04 May 2007 at 5:37 pm #
I’ll admit, I had long hair in the 80’s, and was guilty of both the spiral perm and huge bows. I was way too short to ever wear large shoulder pads, and never found stirrup pants to fit
The capris may not look great on my 5-2 body, but thre is no way I’ll ever be seen in shorts again! It’s capris by default in the summer (all 4 weeks of it).
I don’t think I will ever see the manpris, though. I can’t imagine any midwestern male having the guts/stupidity to wear them in public here! Those male trends seem to go coast ot coast without dropping in on us.
Gel inserts are great in ballet flats, if you want the fashion without the pain.
MizMacgyver on 04 May 2007 at 6:25 pm #
Ladies, I grew up in the 60’s (graduated ‘69 our motto? sex, sin, men and wine, we’re the class of ‘69) need I say more?
Brandy on 04 May 2007 at 6:28 pm #
I saw a man wearing capri pants at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago.I had to do a double take. Men in Capris? WTheck? I had stirrup pants, Sam&Libby ballet flats with the big bow covering the toe, and skinny jeans that you then tightened at the ankle and rolled up a bit so that your slouch socks were visible. Oh, and don’t foget the banana clips, oversized jean jackets with buttons and beneton(sp) bags.
Good God, and I was and still am a conservative dresser.
SuzyQ on 04 May 2007 at 8:05 pm #
Does anyone remember Multiples? They were sold in plastic bags and you bought different “components” to mix and match outfits. It had tube tops that doubled as belts and so on . . .
Claudia Dain on 04 May 2007 at 8:10 pm #
Kay, that’s where I am with capris. I’m too short to carry them off, but shorts are no longer a respectable option. I mean, I could show off my old lady thighs, but why do that to the public?
And Nicole, you lucky duck, to live in an area where the giganto shorts are no longer in fashion. I see them on some young thing every time I leave the house.
I was watching a Magnum PI episode with my kids a year or so back and my kids were LOL at the tightness and short inseam on Magnum’s shorts. I told them to save their laughter for themselves when 15 years from now they look at photos of themselves wearing giganto shorts that brush their knee caps.
I don’t think they believed me. Boy, will the laugh be on them!
TinaLouiseF on 04 May 2007 at 9:56 pm #
Reading all of these posts makes me glad that my family couldn’t afford the extravigant clothes. I grew up wearing straight leg jeans and t-shirts. To this day I seldom wear a dress and wear shorts less often.
TheNightPoet on 05 May 2007 at 1:34 am #
I had a pair of L.A. Gears with bright pink shoe laces as a kid. I loved those things! lol My mom and dad never dressed me in anything bad that I can recall. Even now I don’t follow the current fashion trends. If it’s out and I like it, then I’ll buy it and wear it, but that’s only if I like it. I read in an earlier post that someone wore Keds. I loved my Keds!
In 5th grade we went on a camping trip with my elementary school (something they treated the 5th graders to every year) and I brought two pairs of Keds, unfortunately, it rained the whole time we were there pretty much, so my Ked were soaked, muddy and pretty nast when I came home after that trip. lol
Andrea
Lady Amethyst on 06 May 2007 at 11:31 am #
Mine was the MC Hammer pants. I just had to have them, now I look back and Im like EEegads what was I thinking.lol..