Liar liar pants on fire
May 30th 2007RachelGOn Writing!
This is Jack in his jeans. No, jack does not like wearing his jeans, although he doesn’t seem to mind his fishing shirt or his rain poncho. I imagine it might be because he thinks the jeans make his butt look big. They do, but I would never tell him. When he gives me that questioning look, I lie and tell him he looks skinny.
In fact, I tell a lot of little white lies. I had a friend once who bought a hideous green dress with beads all over the top and had some sort of floaty chiffon skirt. It reminded me of one of those dresses you see in little girl beauty pageants, only in an adult size 16. We were going to an awards event, not a pageant. When she asked me how she looked, I pasted a smile on my face and told her she looked great. I figured hey, she liked it enough to buy it. At some point she had to have looked at herself in the mirror, and she must have thought she looked wonderful. Why tell her the dress aged her about 150 years? Not to mention the shoes. They were hideous too, but of course I told her they were “great.” But what I was really thinking was, “How can a person walk into a shoe department filled with tons of beautiful shoes and leave with the ugliest pair? How is that even possible?”
I’ve lied to a friend about her hair, too. I told her her new hair cut looked super when it was really heinous. I’m talking very bad perm. I lied because what was she going to do? The only thing she could do to make it better was shave her head and I don’t think it would have been much of an improvement.
I lie a lot at dinner parties too. Just because a person can cook, does not mean they should. I’ve choked down some of the most horrid food while saying, “Wow, that’s tasty.” My mother’s spaghetti comes to mind. Although growing up, I might have mentioned that it was the worst spaghetti in recorded history. My sister’s potato salad sucks, and my sister-in-law . . . there just isn’t time to go into how much she sucks at cooking.
How about you? Do you tell the truth or are you a liar liar pants on fire? What was your biggest white lie?












