Did you wash behind your ears?
Apr 21st 2007
Karen HawkinsOn Writing!
While I may look like a strong, capable, can-do adult with my own vibrant career, two almost-grown kids, a sexy cop boyfriend, and an incredible life, the second I cross the threshold of my parents’ house, a transformation takes place. Though I feel the same as ever, apparently I turn back into a bumbling, incapable twelve-year-old.
Let me give you some examples of events that make me believe that this transformation occurs:
1. Despite the fact that my accountant assures me that I’m fiscally solvent, Dad will still ask, “Do you need some money?” He often says this while holding out a crisp twenty dollar bill much in the manner one might hold out a cracker to a dancing bear.
2. Though I’ve been cooking for myself and my two kids for over twenty-five years, PLUS the fact that I’m not exactly skinny, my mother will still tell me she can see that I’m not eating right. I’m not sure what ‘eating right’ consists of, but I think it has to do with her pot roast.
3. Every time I go out of a room, my dad will still call out, “Turn out the light!” even though he’s so conditioned me to do this that I’ve left my poor kids sitting in the dark on more than one occasion.
4. My mother will still admonish me to ‘Wash your hands.’ before a meal, even when I’m standing at the sink doing that very thing.
5. And there are more. MANY more. But I think you get the picture, so I’ll stop here.
I love my parents. They are spectacular in so many ways. But there are times when I leave their house wondering … “Did I grow up? Or was it all just a dream?”
When you visit your parents, do you feel as if you’ve stepped into a time warp? Do your parents forget you’ve grown up? Moved out? Had your own kids? Or do they treat you like a (wow!) adult?
34 Comments »
34 Responses to “Did you wash behind your ears?”
Karen Rose on 21 Apr 2007 at 10:54 pm #
Hilarious, KarenH!!!
Um, where is the water coming from in the washing-hands picture? I’ve been typing on deadline for days and my left eye has developed a twitch, but after some major squinting, I think that water’s coming from someplace interesting.
My dad’s a hoot. One of his retirement pasttimes has been coupon redemption. He is so proud when he gets something for like 10 cents at Kroger on triple coupon days. He has enough boxes of mac-a-chee to feed his town through a nuclear winter. (And we all know mac-a-chee, like roaches, would survive.) So when me and my sister go visit, he gives us a shopping bag (he has closets full of shopping bags he’s collected) and we go “shopping” in his pantry, enjoying the spoils of the triple coupon days.
My folks treat me like a grown up little girl. I think it’s nice.
Karen Rose on 21 Apr 2007 at 10:55 pm #
Oh, and a sexy cop boyfriend? Do tell, darling.
Kelly Ann on 22 Apr 2007 at 12:24 am #
My parents actually treat me like an adult. They didn’t always, after my divorce, I was only like 23 or 24 w/ 2 kids, so I think I can imagine why - I was still a kid! My parents are great though, they have my 8 & 9 year old to give their attention too, so I think I’ve been lucky, especially being the youngest of 7. It also helps we live in seperate states. I love to tease them that I am 30 and you know you are getting old when your youngest child is going to turn 31 this year.
My parent’s are funny too, like Karen R.’s are. My dad has this new thing with Camo. He tells my mom he’s going to put on his camo and lay in the yard so she can’t find him. They crack me up, & my dad has been making up romance novel names ever since I told him about the contest. I tease him all the time that I’m going to have to start scanning all the names @ the goddessblogs and if I see someone called Camo Stud - then I’ll know he has finally lost it! They make me laugh more now, that’s for sure!
Brandy on 22 Apr 2007 at 1:55 am #
My Mom treated me like a grown-up. She passed away about 4 years ago. My Dad forgets I’m alive (he’s remarried, my parent’s were divorced when I was 18). BUT, my In-Laws treat both my Hubs and myself as big children. My MIL likes the coupon thing too, and gives us the excess. We’re constantly offered money and more than once I’ve heard them refer to us as “the kids”. I think it’s partly because my Hubs sister is 13 years older than he is, can you tell he was a “suprise” baby? But, through their interferance and trying to tell us how to raise our kids (only happened once!!), we know that they love us.
Julia London on 22 Apr 2007 at 8:55 am #
My parents treat me like an adult. My MIL, however, is another story. She calls at least twice a day with lots for free advice for my DH on subjects ranging from how he raises his kids to whether or not he ought to be in the job he’s in. I don’t know how he stands it. He says it goes in one ear and out the other and it truly seems to roll right off his back. But if that was MY mother, one of us would be so dead right now, LOL. Interestingly, MIL does not do that to me–but she does do it to my sister-in-law who is another one married into the fam. She’s always very nice and chatty with me, but never asks a question that will lead into an opportunity to give advice.
Emily on 22 Apr 2007 at 9:09 am #
Kelly Ann, your dad sounds like a hoot. I love that he has camo.
I wanna be a hoot when I’m older.
I still live with my parents, and yup, I’m still treated as a kid but I suppose I am since I’m still in college.
Stacy S on 22 Apr 2007 at 9:41 am #
Yesterday I went to a book signing( first time I’ve been to one) Teresa Medeiros was there. It was in a kinda big town. And my parents called me a few times wanting to make sure I didn’t get lost or have an accident. I know thats good, but I am 34 and do know how to drive. They do stuff like that all the time. My dad treats me like an adult while my mom forgets I think.
kimber on 22 Apr 2007 at 10:03 am #
I can’t imagine being treated like a kid when you have kids of your own. My mom is so like a big kid herself, so we tend to treat each other more like sisters most of the time. We have a lot of fun together and usually she is my bestfriend.
Karen Hawkins on 22 Apr 2007 at 10:22 am #
KarenR — my parents do the same thing! Tell me to take anything out of the cupboard I want. I used to go ’shopping’ in there when I was in college and now my daughter does the same thing when she comes to viist.
Ah, the good ole days!
As for my Hot Cop — that’s another blog. I’ll give you all the details of my Badge Bunny-dom. Heh!
Kelly Ann, the camo in the grass is hysterical! It’d be safe so long as the person who is hiding is also the guy who mows!
Brandy, that’s so cool about your In-Laws! My ex-m-i-l is awesome, too. She’s one of the nicest ladies I’ve ever met and wayyyy too generous.
Julia, your m-i-l sounds like my friend’s m-i-l. She doesn’t mean to give advice, but every comment comes out as a ‘way to do it better.’ Don’t know how she stands it ’cause I’m like you — someone would die and it wouldn’t be me!
Emily, my daughter’s in college and she’s in between — sort of a kid sometimes and very much her own person others. Enjoy this time! I looved college.
Karen Hawkins on 22 Apr 2007 at 10:26 am #
Stacy S. ohhh! You went to Teresa Medieros’s signing? I loooove her work! The phone calls sounds exactly like my parents. My mom will ask me things like, “Make sure you have gas!” As if I don’t check that every time I get into the car. But like you, I emjoy that she cares enough about me to ask.
Kimber, sounds like you have a terrific mother! It’s nice you all can do all sorts of things together. I love to go antique shopping with my mom. It’s our ‘thing,’ which is fun.
Kelly Ann on 22 Apr 2007 at 11:22 am #
I never even though about my MIL, since she lives closer then my own mother I should have, it was late though when I posted. She is one of my best friends. My sister in law too. I can talk to them about anything including my hub! They always take my side too! haha! I’m very lucky though!!!!
Kelly Ann on 22 Apr 2007 at 11:26 am #
Karen H. My mom and I go to tea rooms, it’s our thing. When I was in High School, I bought her an antique tea cup and saucer, it was trimmed with delicate roses. She says it’s her favorite one. Now she has tons of them and gives her own teas etc. She has been all things tea ever since. It is our thing too, something we have in common and can love together.
gannon on 22 Apr 2007 at 11:36 am #
Great blog, Karen! I love these stories.
My mom treats me like an adult and most of the time my dad does too. However, my mom’s health has declined over the last few years, so my dad does the cooking now. This is great since he never stepped foot in the kitchen when my sisters and I were growing up if cooking or washing dishes was involved. When I’m visiting, he’ll “tell” me the right way to cook something or how to load the dishwasher! AAGH! I have to bite my tongue not to say, “Daddy, I’ve been doing this way longer than you have!” He’s always been a terrible back seat driver–now it’s not just in the car, but the kitchen, too.
DebMarlowe on 22 Apr 2007 at 11:40 am #
I had the most amazing mother in law ever. She was a blast–cheerful and even keeled and so good at handling a houseful of strong characters. Even when she gave advice, she never got my back up. She passed away soon after my first child was born and I always regret that my kids never got to know her.
My mom drives me nuts in that well-meaning mom way, but she’s a great grandma. My kids just love her madly and she spoils them rotten–in a good way.
Stacy ~ on 22 Apr 2007 at 12:04 pm #
Oh yeah, my parents are a bit like that. Even though I’ve been driving for 20 years, you’d think I’d never been behind the wheel when they get into the passenger seat - “The light is yellow!” , “There’s a stop sign!”, “Slow down, there’s a car in front of you!” Like I had no clue. And I travel by myself - went to Finland, took a cruise, went to Vegas - and I still have to check in with them to let them know I made it there. Sometimes I don’t want to tell them anything LOL.
Stacy S, I’ve been to a few booksignings and it’s always exciting. This year I’m going to Lori Foster’s 3rd annual get-together. The readers and writers are all so wonderful. Makes me love the romance genre even more.
Kay on 22 Apr 2007 at 12:08 pm #
DH and I are both on the other side of 40 and we have 2 children. Both of us have mothers who worry about evething and think we are still 5. It is annoying, but can be funny.
They INSIST that we call them the moment we land when we are flying anywhere. We travel a fair amount, and even though we warn them about time zones, they still want us to call. We get the “I won’t be able to sleep until I know the plane landed safely” speech every time, but then we wake them when we call! They next time, they give us the same speech. We have learned to fudge the time a bit, so we don’t call them at 4 am.
I guess that I could just refuse, but it’s not worth the fight, or guilt. We live far enough away from them that I can listen to their words of wisdom–how we should live our lives and raise our children–and then just do what I want. They never know…….
TinaLouiseF on 22 Apr 2007 at 12:48 pm #
My mother has been better at treating me as an adult since I don’t work at their business full-time any more.
I do have to call in whenever I travel though. I guess since I’m single she wants to know I wasn’t in an accident.
KMB25 on 22 Apr 2007 at 12:59 pm #
My parents do some of these same things. They treat me like an adult, and offer money, food, etc, but I think they do it because they worry and want to help. (Also, I’m an only child..) No matter how much we grow up, to our parents, we’ll always be theirs…and in some ways, that’s ok. It shows us how much they love us and care. I know that some find it annoying, but in the wake of current events, I find it comforting and reassuring. I hope that you all take joy in your families, even if they are annoyingly overzealous in their attentions. You never know how long you’ll have with them…so cherish it.
~Kim
Ladytink_534 on 22 Apr 2007 at 1:56 pm #
I honestly don’t think my mom could treat me like an adult even if she tried. My father does though so it kind of balances out!
Judy F on 22 Apr 2007 at 2:08 pm #
Oh Stacy that is so my dad. He is so do you see that car pulling out five blocks ahead one the right… Yes dad…or he would try to see how fast your were going. LOL They are both into the stocking up for the big flood too. A couple of years ago money was really tight for me and if I was down their house my dad would always send me home with a care package.
For the most part they treat me like an adult but sometimes they forget that I am 47 and not the baby of the family.
Really my sister treats me more like a kid then my parents do.
catslady on 22 Apr 2007 at 2:29 pm #
I am 56 years old and my 84 year old mother still treats me like a 2 yr. old. - enough said.
Karen Rose on 22 Apr 2007 at 3:04 pm #
I used to travel A LOT for my job and internationally. I learned to tell my mom I was travelling after I got home. “Oh, btw, Mom, I just got back from Helsinke and it was lovely.”
My dad is totally scared to fly. He’s done it, but only for his job and fewer than five times that I recall in my life. And he was in the Air Force. I think that part’s ironic. Anyway, my mom will say, “If it’s not your time to go, you don’t have to worry about flying.” His response EVERY time has been, “Yeah, but what if it’s the pilot’s time?”
Drives me freakin’ nuts. So when talking to him, I’d forego the mention of air transportation altogether. “Hey, Dad, I just got back from Japan. The bus ride was REALLY long.”
Stacy S on 22 Apr 2007 at 3:24 pm #
HEROS comes back on tomorrow.
Maggie Robinson on 22 Apr 2007 at 4:00 pm #
My parents ALWAYS had something to say (usually negative), so I’m making a real effort with my four to bite my tongue until it’s bloody. My dad used to call me at 9 AM every Saturday and ask stuff like, “Do you have insurance?”, “Is Chris wearing his winter hat?” until I wanted to change my phone #. I know they meant well, but I was driven crazy (a short drive, however).
anneriailin on 22 Apr 2007 at 5:12 pm #
My father was alot better about treating me as an adult. Although, he introduced me as ‘his baby girl’ until the day he passed away. I’d cringe and the people I was being introduced to would smile. My mother, now there’s an entirely different story. She meant well, I know and she did help when I needed it and I guess that’s all that mattered. Both are gone now and I miss them. Never had the cell phone thing to worry about, thank goodness, since I know my mother would have called a dozen times a day!
Stacy S–Bowling Green, KY?? Big Town? I went to WKU many years ago and I guess I still think of Bowling Green as that smaller town when I was there. I won’t even go into how many years ago THAT was!! lol Hope you had a good time meeting Teresa. I’m so jealous! And I bet KY is beautiful right now!! *sigh*
–dorothy
TinaLouiseF on 22 Apr 2007 at 5:46 pm #
If my mother lives to be 84 like catslady’s mom, I’ll celebrate and she can treat me like a kid if she wants to.
Three of my grandparents passed away in their mid-50s which is where my parents are now. Mom said we can have a party when she hits 60.
Karen Hawkins on 22 Apr 2007 at 5:55 pm #
You guys have some great parents and in laws. That’s so cool!
Btw, I am just like my ‘Rents cause my daughter told me that my son said that “I call all the darn time and it drives him crazy.” She said he was quiet a moment or two, and then he said, “But it’s also sort of cute.”
We all love to know we’re loved — need it, in fact. I think my dad giving me twenty bucks is just his way of giving me a hug, which he’s not always comfortable doing. So it’s communication in monetary form. And my son is right — it IS cute!
Thanks for all the stories, guys. It’s neat to see how different families work.
Suzanne Enoch on 22 Apr 2007 at 6:12 pm #
My parents live close by me, and my mom still calls me every night to make sure I haven’t fallen and broken my skull or something. And the other day she picked me up to go shopping. She had to stop short once, and actually flung her arm out to protect me.
Once a parent, always a parent. And yes, I’m still their kid. *g*
Stacy S on 22 Apr 2007 at 7:13 pm #
anneriailin- Bowling Green is a big town where I’m from. We might have 10000 people in our county. Not sure if it’s that big.
KMB25 on 22 Apr 2007 at 8:24 pm #
anneriailin and Stacy S….are either of you still in Bowling Green? I’ll be there this week as I’m playing with the Bowling Green Western Symphony. It’s a park of WKU’s symphony, but they hire most of us out so they can fill out the sections.
~Kim
anneriailin on 22 Apr 2007 at 9:09 pm #
KMB……I wish I were still in the state of KY even. I live in upstate NY now though. I don’t get back nearly as much as I would like to.
Stacy S….I’m familiar with most of the area around Bowling Green, as my EX and most of his family lived down and around that region.
–dorothy
darlingbeachgirl on 23 Apr 2007 at 10:34 am #
Well my mom treats me like a kid still its her way or the highway and gosh forbid any of us try to correct her but the funny thing is she calls me or tells me stuff instead of the others who are all older then me when she needs something. My dad however treats me as an adult to a point and that is he still calls me famous amos or frog face which ever he can say first and still thinks I am 5 when it comes to carring things (including my 3 kids) if I have thing to carry down stairs of my house or the baby in my arms I can’t carry anything else (including the diaper bag)
Ronlyn on 23 Apr 2007 at 11:08 am #
LOL!! Oh good golly. I can’t walk in the door to my parent’s house without my dad saying, “Are you hungry? You look hungry. Here, eat something.” Or, having my parents come to my house? I’ll wake up in the morning and find my shoes, which were left by the front door, sitting in front of my bedroom door…talk about deja vu! LOL.
The best was a couple years ago when my parents came for Christmas. My mom brought her own wine & kalua for the coffee because “Ronlyn’s not old enough to drink.” Ummm, Mom? Hi, remember me? I’m your 30 year old daughter.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Apr 2007 at 1:39 pm #
darlingbeachgirl, oh my dad does that, too! If I get groceries or carry anything, he rushes to help. I think part of it’s being chivalrous, but hey, I can carry more than one bag at a time!
And Ronlyn, that cracks me up about your mom bringing her own ‘refreshments.’ Lol! Hon, it doesn’t get better with age. I opened a beer at my dad’s house at Christmas and while he didn’t say anything, he looked shocked. It takes a while for them to get used to the ‘old enough to drink’ thing …. I’m hoping he’s ok with it by the time I’m sixty.