The Great Hair Debate
Mar 31st 2007
Claudia DainWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
Actually, there’s not much of a debate. From what I can tell, from the age of about, oh, two, most women have come to a conclusion and that conclusion is pretty much universal and irreversible. This is it. The words every woman has said at every stage of her life:
I hate my hair.
In my whole long life, I’ve never met any woman who liked her hair. In listening to my mother talk about the women she knew in her whole long life, she never knew any woman who liked her hair. I’ve never met any woman who *knew* any woman who liked her hair.
That’s a whole lot of women.
See my photo? See how the sides pop out? My hair started doing that when I was still in diapers. I’ve tried for most of my life to fight it. I have a couple of cowlicks that don’t help me out.
I’ve permed it. Not only was my hair kinky, it was also stinky. And it grew out funny.
I’ve cut it super short. I’ve grown it to chin length. I’ve used prickly rollers. I’ve used bobby pins. I’ve used hot rollers. I’ve used sponge rollers. I’ve used curling irons. I’ve used blow dryers. I’ve squeezed lemon juice on it. I’ve high-lighted it. I’ve colored it.
Long story short: I’ve learned to deal with it.
Long story long: I write books in which every heroine, every sidekick, every walk-on character has Great Hair. Women deserve Great Hair and if they can only get it in books, living life through another woman’s bangs, that’s okay. At least in romance, a woman can have Great Hair because, the real love/hate relationship that lasts the whole of a woman’s life is with her hair.
So, what about you? Is there anyone out there who loves her hair? Anyone you know who loves her hair? And what was the best hairstyle you ever had?
43 Comments »
43 Responses to “The Great Hair Debate”
Karen Rose on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:39 am #
I do like my hair, but only AFTER the hairdresser is done with it which I would hope at those prices! When I do it myself, not so much. Of course, only my hairdresser knows my true color. Him and anybody over 5′0″ who happens to see the top of my head just before my roots are done. Since almost everyone is over 5′0″, I hide in my house just before my roots are done!
I got a perm once… Oh, the horror. I’d very nearly blocked it out. Thanks for making me remember, Claudia…(grumble).
Karen Rose on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:41 am #
But I have to add - I love the way your hair sticks out. It looks expressive and fun. When I first saw your picture I thought “I wish my hair did that.” It’s the goddess truth!
dbrown3400 on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:42 am #
My favorite hair era was when I was 22-23. The cut was a VERY long shag. Do any of you remember what that was? It was later known as the Farrah Fawcett cut. My hair, naturally light ash blonde, was heavily highlighted, back in the day of the rubber cap when the hair was pulled through with a crochet hook rather than put up in Reynolds Wrap. OUCH! I could walk with a bit of a sway and my hair went with me and my dates looked like James Malory.
Donna TBC
dbrown3400 on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:50 am #
Once again my hair is long but naturally silver over that ash blonde and looks best right before it needs to be washed. I normally wear it in a pony tail to keep it out of my eyes but when I brush it out for that much needed shampoo, the strands form into the most beautiful long curls that disappear down the drain with the suds.
Donna
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:09 am #
As a subheading under Truth Number One: I hate my hair, is Truth Number Two: I like *your* hair. LOL
Dbrown3400, I SO remember the rubber cap days of highlighting. I wonder when and how they figured out that there was much easier (and pain free) solution in the form of Reynolds Wrap?! Talk about your break-through discoveries! This ranks up there with toilet paper, IMHO.
Dbrown,I’ll bet you looked amazing in your Farrah; I’m envious. My hair isn’t thick enough to carry it off.
KMB25 on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:17 am #
I have very thin hair which is long and straight. when I was 12 I talked my mom into a perm…man, it looked awful, but I loved it at the time. Isn’t that the way it always goes–if you have straight hair…you want curly, if you’re a curly haired person, usually they want it to be straight? Once I got to college, I was introduced to those wonderful hot rollers and I got curly hair…as long as there was a lot of hairspray involved!!
DebMarlowe on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:18 am #
Okay, my hairdresser is still using the rubber cap and hook! I see other people in the salon getting Reynolds wrapped, but not moi!
Is there a difference in how it looks when it is finished?
Curious,
Deb
Julia London on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:25 am #
My hair is about the only thing that I don’t have a complaint about. BUT…I have worn my hair the same way since as long as I can remember: Long. I keep wondering what I am going to do when I hit 60 or 70. I rarely see women that age with long hair. I am fearful because I never had short hair and don’t know what I would do with it. What is the magic age when we go from long hair to short hair?
Claudia, I love your hair. It’s really cute!
KMB25 on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:27 am #
…..I can honestly say at this point in my life, I like my hair. Not sure I *love* it, but I’ve made peace with it! I’ve learned that there are some benefits to having long straight hair (my husband seems to like it–he goes nuts if I talk about chopping it off!) Right now, though, I’m growing it out so I can donate it to Locks of Love. It’s a cause that I believe in and I’m able to do as my hair grows pretty fast.
~Kim
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:53 am #
I, too, now like my hair, but only in that I’ve learned how to deal with it. What it will and won’t do.
Frankly, I think this takes years of trial, error, and effort!
DebM, run, don’t walk to a salon that will foil you. Death to the cap! I think the difference, besides the lack of pain, is that the color gets closer to the roots with foil.
Julia, magic age to cut? Look at Cher, Goldie, Sissy–still long. Keep what works for you!
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:56 am #
Kim, that is so awesome that you’re doing Locks of Love. What a gift!
Suzanne Enoch on 31 Mar 2007 at 11:04 am #
Ah, I remember the Charlie’s Angels hair I had while in Junior High. Straight except for that long curl all along the front. I could test it by starting a pencil at the top and running it all the way down. I have pictures - at least the ones I haven’t tracked down and destroyed.
Karen Hawkins on 31 Mar 2007 at 11:35 am #
Suzanne E, I have a pic of your Charlie’s Angel stage. Your mom emailed it to me while you were sleeping. Just wanted to let you know we’re all chuckling about that.
I have the same style I’ve always had — OUT of style. I feel NEKKID without my bangs, style or no. I hate my hair the worst when they style it at the salon. It always looks like Baptist Hooker Hair. Big and puffy and shudderific. It looks best when I’m sleeping. I probably LOOK best when I sleep, too. Or so I like to pretend!
Brandy on 31 Mar 2007 at 1:48 pm #
I like my hair. It’s almost to my waist and if I’m too old for it to be that long don’t tell me (I’m 32). It has a natural curl/wave to it and the color is not just a plain brown, but has highlights of red and gold(I was once told that my hair is the same color as my name). It’s the one thing I like about myself, sad, eh?
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 2:27 pm #
Sad, Brandy? Are you kidding? You LOVE your hair. I feel honored to have met you! Sounds like we’d all love your hair…sleep with one eye open…that’s all I’m saying…
KarenH, I’m the same way. Hate my hair the worst when they “do” it at the salon. I leave wet and dry it when I get home, plus, I’m cheap and that saves me twenty bucks on top of the cut, color, and more color.
dbrown3400 on 31 Mar 2007 at 2:43 pm #
DebM, another thing about foils is the control you have over the amount of highlighting you want. I always wanted a heavy highlight which was easier with foils.
KarenH, I’m still lmao over the BHH. We had a lot of that when I still lived in Tulsa but I never heard such an appropriate name until now. We all had our hair done that way for the prom, then wrapped it in tp so it would last until school on Monday.
Donna
Nicole Jordan on 31 Mar 2007 at 3:23 pm #
Oh, Claudia, this is so funny since in my case it’s so true! I like my hair for maybe 5 minutes a year, but it’s NEVER at a time when I want it to look really good.
Brandy, sounds like you would make the romance perfect heroine, lol! And KarenH, that BHH is such a riot… esp since I used to style my hair exactly that way when I was in 10th grade.
But Claudia, I really do love your press photo and think your hair looks great there. I was envious the first time I saw it!
NicoleJ
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 3:49 pm #
Nicole, I had a good photographer, simple as that! LOL
Honestly, I get a lot of compliments on my hair since this cut, which says all there is to say about finding the right ‘do’ for your particular hair issues.
I was picking up the dry cleaning this week and the woman at the window reached into my car, touched my hair, and said, “I love your hair!” Of course she said that: it wasn’t her hair.
I want Brandy’s hair.
Nicole Jordan on 31 Mar 2007 at 5:47 pm #
>said, “I love your hair!” Of course she said that: it wasn’t her hair.
LOL. That is so true, Claudia!
>I want Brandy’s hair.
Me, too!
And am I remembering it right.. was it Jo in LITTLE WOMEN who cut off all her beautiful hair and sold it to help ends meet for her family? Or was it someone else I’m thinking of? That is true heroism *G*.
NicoleJ
Claudia Dain on 31 Mar 2007 at 7:02 pm #
Yeah, Jo, the author of the bunch, right? Just goes to show how altruistic and self-sacrificing authors are.
Easy for me to say as I don’t have any hair to give to the cause! LOL
ladydawgfan on 31 Mar 2007 at 8:24 pm #
I also like my hair. It’s naturally curly, and hangs to about mid-back. The color is somewhere between red and brown, with about 5 or so different natural highlights thrown in for good measure - black, blonde, red, dark brown, even gray (winces at THAT one!). The only problem is that it doesn’t grow very fast, and it is baby-fine. Lemme tell you, naturally curly baby-fine hair does NOT go well with overly dry or overly humid conditions! I look like Bozo’s sister most of the summer!!
Ann in IL on 31 Mar 2007 at 8:49 pm #
I hate my current hair so much I’m considering a wig.
My favorite stylist retired two years ago. Finding someone who can cut short hair correctly is very difficult. My most recent stylist got married today and is changing salons so she’s off for a few weeks and I NEED A HAIRCUT. NOW!!
I’ve never had the guts to color my hair.
Note to self - get the wig catalogs out again
dbrown3400 on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:03 pm #
JL - is this the same JL who has a technicolor half-page ad in the May issue of RT that arrived in my mailbox this afternoon? who wants to know about long hair when she’s older? I’m 60 with hair halfway down my back. With a little effort and a curling iron it will lay in soft curls. Cut to shoulder length is better but I usually wear mine in a ponytail for work.
Donna
Caren Crane Helms on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:24 pm #
Claudia, I love your hair! Mine is another story. I do, however, really *like* my current hairstyle most days. If you go to my website, you can see how it more or less looks. It’s slightly longer now, but still do-able. Highlights, foil all the way! You are so right about the color getting closer to the roots, Claudia. And as much as you pay to get it done, you deserve to have *all* that color doing its job!
But my sister, Susie, has fabulous hair. She hates it, of course. Ha!
Sabrina Jeffries on 31 Mar 2007 at 9:46 pm #
I used to do the Farrah Fawcett look, too, in college!! And I loved my hair in high school, when the style was long and straight and my hair was long, straight, and very shiny. Then when wavy hair became the thing I was in BIG trouble. My hair has no body whatsoever. None. Almost can’t curl it at all. I’ve had so many perms and so many “body waves” and stuff that I refuse to do it anymore. I once even did the Bo Derek corn row look (it’s not my look, trust me)! But I LIKE Claudia’s hair.
Brandy on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:56 pm #
I’m learning new things here. Like foil vs. cap for highlights. (I’ve never had them.) Um, as for stylists, does my hubs count? He trims my hair for me every 3 months. The last time I went to a stylist, after the cut, she blew dried my hair using a brush and straightened it out and then asked me if I’d ever thought of a perm. I’ve been too scared to find another stylist!
Brandy on 31 Mar 2007 at 10:58 pm #
Oh, and Sabrina? My Daughter has the straightest hair I’ve ever seen. I used a curling iron and a ton of hair spray on her hair one and 15 minutes later it was back straight. So, you are not alone. She’s not old enough to have a body wave yet (12yrs. old).
cookeemama on 01 Apr 2007 at 4:48 am #
In my whole adult life, I have seldom left my hair alone for more that 6-12 months. I’ve had everything from almost Susan Powter to shoulder blade level. Every color from platinum blond to blue-black. Talk about BHH, blue-black will surely fit into that.
Julia, I am 68 and just last month ditched the shoulder blade hair for something much, much shorter. I had surgery last summer and, it seemed, that my hair was always in my eyes, mouth, way. So I had it whaced. I was tired of it anyway.
cookeemama on 01 Apr 2007 at 4:53 am #
I’ll bet none of you are old enough to remember permanent wave machines.The machine was huge and had wires dangling from it with rods at the end of them. Looked like a torture device. And was. After being hooked up, you sat for hours till you were “done”. The whole process was about 8 hours. Can you imagine what agony this was for a child? I remember when the Toni Home Perm came out and set us free. Of course, they were awful perms, but we were free of those ghastly machines!
Julia London on 01 Apr 2007 at 10:16 am #
Yippee, cookeemama! After writing that yesterday, I really sat there and wondered, when do I cut my hair! Glad to know its not a rule
Claudia Dain on 01 Apr 2007 at 10:21 am #
Cookeemama, I remember when my grandmother talked about getting a permanent and I had no idea what she was talking about! You can tell I grew up in the ‘it can’t be straight enough or long enough’ generation!
I think it’s so cool and so *right* to play with your hair the way you do; mixing it up with cuts and colors. I mean, it’s only hair, right? It does grow back!
Kelly Ann on 01 Apr 2007 at 11:29 am #
I like my hair, usually, sometimes the humidity and I don’t get along, but I have light brown, thick, natural big curl hair, med. length, cut in layers. I’m not real good at styling my hair. I think I have a fear from childhood. Remember the Klutz blog? My hair was one length and almost down to my bottom. I stupidly tried to use one of those hair brush curling irons. Yep, tangled, knotted & stuck to the top of my head so tight that it had to be cut out. Its still a big family joke!
Kelly Ann on 01 Apr 2007 at 11:34 am #
Oh, Julia London, I think you should keep your hair long if that’s what makes you happy.
ericaleigh on 01 Apr 2007 at 12:54 pm #
Isn’t true that we want what we think is better, nicer or prettier than we do. I was blessed with my dad’s hair, nice dark brown color and medium thickness. I just got it cut and am not sure about the cut, but I think that’s manily because I haven’t figured out how to style it yet. Quality shampoo, conditioning the crap out of it and a good stylist goes a long way. The good thing about hair is that it does grow and you can always change it :). I’m waiting for the anti-gray pill though.
Judy F on 01 Apr 2007 at 2:16 pm #
I was blessed with my mom’s thick hair. My poor dad has baby fine hair and not much of it. My hair is brownish blonde with highlights and lowlights. Its in layers and don’t hate me but I have to get it thinned out.
Currently I am in a hate phase with my hair, I haven’t had it cut in 4 months mainly because I was letting it grown some and I just found out that my regular hairstylist is on a medical leave. Now I have to find someone I trust with my hair. Its a trauma I tell ya.
Judy F on 01 Apr 2007 at 2:17 pm #
Deb. get the foils. Its closer to the roots and a truer highlight. On a cap the stylist can not tell where they are pulling the hair from.
MizMacgyver on 01 Apr 2007 at 6:13 pm #
I am 55 and my hair is down past the bra now, it is cut in layers and looks best the day after I wash it. It is super thick and straight as a stick and grows really fast. It would probably look better if I wore it short (which I used to do) but it grows so fast it kept me busy getting it cut trying to keep the style and frankly, I got tired of it. I have tried perms and it is so thick and grows so fast that it just doesn’t stay “nice” long enough to put that much money into it. coninued….
MizMacgyver on 01 Apr 2007 at 6:16 pm #
Besides, if I got it cut now I think my BF would have a heart attack. I figure okay, why not, at least someone likes it……..LOL I have to say though it is just a little disconcerting to be watching tv or dancing and feel him “petting” my hair. Someday I am going to turn my head and bite him..
TheNightPoet on 01 Apr 2007 at 11:15 pm #
I love my hair. There are days though that it gets effected by the weather and the best thing I can do with it is throw it back into a ponytail. Those days would be when the humidity is high. My hair is thick and so any kind of humidity or moisture can ruin what at the beginning of the day was a great looking hairdo. I just recently got my haircut and the other day it was kind of humid and raining and surprisingly my hair didn’t poof out like it does when the weather is like that..continued.
TheNightPoet on 01 Apr 2007 at 11:17 pm #
I do have to use hair products that help with the poofyness of my hair when the humidity is high though. It is frustrating at times especially those days when I want to look cute and have my hair down, but then I end up just having to put it in a ponytail. Those days I wish my hair would cooperate.
Andrea
darkshire007 on 21 May 2007 at 11:44 pm #
I have had really long hair most of my life. Then I went to the desert; and was expected to run every day….in the heat. So after a week of running at 5 a.m. (because the temp was only 90 degrees F then) I cut it all off. I haven’t gone back.
Pequena on 19 Jan 2008 at 4:46 pm #
My bestfr. loves her hair and I do too. I like my hair because it’s curly. I can do anything w. it. but i just dont like the lenght. It’s short, and I really want it to grow. I cut it abt a yr ago. and i cut it 2 times in the same yr. Boy what a mistake. anyways, im just waiting till summer to dye it. && im not cutting it anymore. it’s a promise i made to myself.
nhyt on 13 Mar 2008 at 6:48 pm #
this is fuck”n” ugly Bicht