Boom! Bang! Thump! Thud!
Mar 26th 2007
Karen HawkinsOn Writing!
There is a little of me in every heroine I write. Sometimes it’s a bit of who I want to be, and sometimes it’s a bit of who I am already.
This week, I’m writing a heroine who is a quick thinker, amazingly gifted in languages, a conservative dresser with no patience for female furbelows, and is a bit of a klutz. Guess which part of this heroine is based on one of my own personal traits?
That’s right; the klutz part.
Here’s the honorary Klutz Badge. I’m one of those people who can fall up the stairs as well as down. I’ve slipped in water and put my foot through a fish tank, stumbled down the aisle at my own wedding, fell into a birthday cake and caught my shirt on fire, ended up on my arse with a nacho on my head in front of a crowd of 3,000 at a high school football game, had toilet paper on my shoe at my first job interview …
And these are just the highlights.
So tell me . . . are you a klutz, too? Or are you one of those annoyingly graceful creatures who seem to float instead of walk? What personal trait do you have that would make an interesting addition to a romance heroine’s character? Better yet, what special flaw do you possess that might make another reader think, “Oh, I’m SO like that!”
91 Comments »
91 Responses to “Boom! Bang! Thump! Thud!”
Kay on 27 Mar 2007 at 12:06 am #
I am such a Klutz that my Mom’s nick name for me is “GRACE”–because that is what I lack! I even broke my foot once, tripping over my cat.
It isn’t all bad, though. I met my DH when he had to three put stitches in my leg. Don’t worry about his medical ethics–I hit on him. We happened to be working at the same hospital at the time, but it was my last night working there when I met him. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m a klutz, or we would not have met!
Brandy on 27 Mar 2007 at 2:30 am #
I’m a total klutz, I’ve tripped over one of my cats and slipped down the stairs. I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked into a wall, or door jam. As a matter of fact, I’ve broken and sprained the little toe on one of my feet so many times that it’s a miracle it’s not fallen off. *sigh* I’ve also stepped off a curb and sprained my ankle so bad they gave me a soft cast. Um, what else…? We won’t discuss the number of burns I’ve had from the oven, or iron. Bad language is usually involved.
Crystal on 27 Mar 2007 at 4:46 am #
I can be a klutz. I have scratched my cornea by walking into a thermostat. Let me tell you, that is a pain like no other. I never knew I was a klutz until I was grown because I always felt so graceful compared to my sister. Her teachers once thought my mom beat her because of her constant bruises.
Stacy ~ on 27 Mar 2007 at 5:44 am #
Yeah, I definitely have klutzy tendencies, and I spill stuff all the time. It’s rather aggravating, I must admit. Some days I look like I need a bib. Definitely not qualities worthy of a romance heroine.
Maggie Robinson on 27 Mar 2007 at 6:16 am #
I walk into sliding glass doors on a regular basis, so if I come to your house, I hope you have those sticky sun-catchers plastered on them every six inches or so.
Just last week I slipped on ice in front of 3 school buses loaded with kids. Bless her heart, one little girl tried to give me her hand to haul me up. Uh huh, like she has super-powers.
Terry Jo on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:02 am #
My name is Terry and I am a Klutz! I think the local emergency room keeps a secret file called “Terry’s Stupidest Accidents”. There was a toothbrush in the eye incident (I bent over to spit, didn’t move the toothbrush, mint burns, people). Then there was the incident where I was hanging curtains, couldn’t get the curtain rod together so I pushed really HARD and ended up slicing the pad of my thumb off. I currently have very few curtains in my house.
Terry Jo on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:04 am #
And as I type this I am perched on a donut pillow for my broken tailbone. Foot slipped off of the stair and my bony backside went bouncing down the stairs. I would definitely say I am a little bit clumsy. Gracreful, I am not.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:20 am #
Kay, I never thought of the whole handsome dr thing, but maybe there IS a sunny side to klutziness.
Brandy, I have so many scars from the stove. Yikes!
Crystal, ah … aren’t thermostats on the wall? How …???
Stacy, I ALWAYS get stuff on my shirt. I must have a hole in my chin.
Maggie - stickers on windows. Heh! Got it.
And Terry Jo, I’m sorry to hear you’re a prisoner of a donut pillow. All I can say is “OW!” Hope you recouperate fast.
I AM NOT ALONE! Thank you!!!
Kelly Ann on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:35 am #
My parents named me Kelly Ann Crash before I could even walk ~ I took my walker down a flight of stairs. As I read your article I could have sworn you had talked to my mother! I also thought I was the only person who could fall up stairs, ya know being gravity challenged! One of my most memorable was when I pratically cut my finger off on the lid of a mushroom can! I now have one of those nifty can openers that leave no sharp edges!
Kelly Ann on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:36 am #
I’m sorry Terry Jo, we all feel for you! Maybe literally! Feel better soon!!
ladydawgfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:44 am #
*shyly raises her hand from the back of the room*
I’m Ladydawgfan and I’m a klutz, too. I have dropped so much stuff on the front of shirts that we have given it an official diagnosis - Chestus Magneticus. The worst part is that it is a family trait - my mother gave it to me and both my sister and two of my nieces are inflicted!!
Don’t get me started on sprained ankles . . . [sigh]
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:46 am #
Oh yes (she said gloomily). Kitchen scars. I have burns, can lid cuts, knife puncture wounds (I reached for the phone and didn’t move the knife which I was holding in my OTHER HAND) … oh yes. The kitchen is a gauntlet of dangers to the klutzy.
Maybe klutzy people weren’t born for the every day world. We need pillows and rounded corners and big fluffy couches with no legs to stub our toes on and cooks and butlers and maids to protect us from dangerous housework.
terrio on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:11 am #
I am really sorry but I’ve been reading this and LMAO!!!! My co-workers are going to think I’ve lost it. I’ve had my share of falls and mishaps but I was much worse as a child. I’m pretty sure I still have some rocks in my left knee. And I fell off a folding chair (it folded-go figure) I was standing on to decorate for my 13th birthday party. I broke my wrist but refused to leave the party which hadn’t started yet. I spent the night in a tea-towel sling but got my first slow dance.
terrio on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:13 am #
My daughter seems to have gotten it worse. She’s going to be 6′ tall (they tell me) and right now she’s 7 and growing faster than I can buy clothes. The other day she walked out of the kitchen and just went down. Nothing to trip over, no sudden shaking of the house, just hit the floor. I sure hope when she grows into those legs that she’s much more graceful.
Julia London on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:43 am #
Terrio, not only will she grow into those legs, she’ll be able to wear pencil jeans.
Julia London on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:44 am #
Oh yeah, meant to say that I am as graceful as a swan. They call me Ballerina around here. Apparently, every time I trip over a couple of fat dogs lying in the doorway or right behind me in the kitchen, my pirouette is pretty fantastic.
DebMarlowe on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:46 am #
Oh, ladydawgfan! Chestus Magneticus! I love it! Unfortunately, I have it too!
My husband doesn’t even get surprised any more, he shoots me the long suffering look and says: “Got something on the front porch, hon.”
Hee hee.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:47 am #
My daughter is slender and graceful and every time I trip/cut/fall she just rolls her eyes, shakes her head and goes, “Oh, Mooooom!” Apparently genetics has no part in the Klutz Factor.
And Julia … we want video. Think you can ask Mr. London to film one of yuor pirouettes??? We’ll pay.
Claudia Dain on 27 Mar 2007 at 9:49 am #
“Something on the front porch”!!!! That’s hysterical, DebMarlowe.
If I had a front porch of any size, maybe something would be happening there. But…no.
I’m only klutzy at that “certain” time of month. That’s how I know “it’s” coming. I walk into walls, into partially opened doors, trip over the dog, who is always bewildered by this as he’s 120 pounds and black—kind of tough to miss.
Other times, I’m in the normal klutzy range. You know, the Julia London Ballerina Brand of Grace.
Julia London on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:06 am #
That’s right, Claudia — its all in one’s perspective.
terrio on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:07 am #
Pencil jeans. Great. Thanks, Julia. Heaven forbid we not accentuate my 17 year old, blonde haired, blue-eyed daughter’s great legs. *sigh* Someone just shoot me now.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:19 am #
I missed LadyDawgFan’s Chestus Magneticus! That’s what I get for posting when others are posting, too.
I wonder if perhaps instead of Chestus Magneticus, it’s actually Chestus Magnificantus. Well, LadyDawgFan?
And Terrio, I feel your pain. My daughter’s gorgeous and I worry all of the time, although she says it’s gotten her out of a lot of speeding tickets. As if THAT would make me feel better. (heart thuds sickly) How fast is she driving that she’s gotten out of ‘ticketS’ … ACK!!!!
ashefrog on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:19 am #
I am a klutz, too. But my middle daughter takes the prize.
While in church one Sunday, she actually fell out of the pew while standing still. Another time she was standing in the familyroom and just fell over while we were all watching her. Sounds like a medical condition but its not. She is just a klutz. But a “cute” klutz.
BTW we dread formals when she has to wear heels. Just know there is a stumble in her immediate future.
SuzyQ on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:29 am #
I am not usually a klutz, but when I am I always seem to have an audience. At my wedding, I almost fell into the pond when my heel got caught in the slats of the bridge. I did actually fall in at another wedding when the bridge we were standing on broke. And I wasn’t even drinking yet.
Then there was the miniature golf incident. I managed to get my ball caught by the windmill. I walk over, bent down to retrieve the ball and WHACK! the blade comes down and hits me in the head. Ouch!
Claudia Dain on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:55 am #
SuzyQ, you have to blame the windmill for that. There you were, minding your own business, and the windmill bangs into YOU.
Not your fault. It was that stupid, clumsy windmill.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:10 am #
Claudia’s right. Evil windmill! EVIL!
SuzyQ, I have to say you made me laugh out loud — yes, even putt putt can be dangerous for a klutz.
Once I slipped on a wet leaf of lettuce in the kitchen, fell back against the counter, knocked over a thing of milk, lurched forward to grab a rag, slipped in the milk and fell against the other counter before landing on the floor … in the milk. I must have looked like a person in a pin ball machine — whack! zap! THUNK! DING DING DING!
SuzyQ on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:23 am #
Thank you guys. At least now I know it wasn’t my fault.
Karen, now you have me laughing out loud. People I work with must think I am crazy.
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:23 am #
I soooo want to be graceful. When I was young I would practice walking up and down the hall with the hope that I would somehow achieve that graceful stride that some women have. Instead I’m stuck with this little hop step and a heavy tread that everyone can hear coming. *rolling my eyes* I’ve managed to knock papers off the table wtih my breasts (in front of an entire classroom FULL of people)
terrio on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:25 am #
OMG - my cheeks hurt I’m laughing so hard at that one. hehehehehehe
I know about the audience bit. I fell on ice on a sidewalk in Pittsburgh once. During the morning rush. No way to pretend no one saw that. And I really could have used that donut pillow for the rest of the day. Or week.
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:27 am #
Just this weekend I managed to drop an entire pot of stroganoff all over myself, I knocked a mystery liquid off the shelf in the garage, only to discover it BURNED, so I stripped in the garage and streaked through my house…which had all the windows and doors open to let in the Spring air. My husband was in the front yard talking to the neighbor at the time. I put my foot through the door of the bathroom as I stumbled down the hall…*sigh* It was a productive weekend. LOL
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:31 am #
Or what’s worse, when you have just enough of a nudge into klutz-ville to send you sprawling headfirst. I grew up with horses and will never forget being at a rodeo and trying to impress this REALLY cute cowboy. *sigh* Anyway, I was cleaning out my horses hooves (bending over next to the horse) only to have her turn her head and nudge me in the rear…which of course sent me flying into the mud behind her. I was mortified and I swear, to this day, that damn horse laughed at me.
Kasey on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:58 am #
I am a klutz too. I was recently in Italy and they have steps everywhere and yes I stumbled on them at least 3 times a day. I once walked into a door, a big wooden door, at a funeral reception. It was so quiet in there that everyone turned to look. I tend to trip over my own feet a lot and about half the time I am carrying something like pop or milk that spills everywhere and causes a big, huge, sticky mess.
Kasey on 27 Mar 2007 at 12:09 pm #
Oh and reading through some of yours I thought of some more. I also had a folding chair fold up on me, in choir practice and while everyone started to laugh I stood up and gave a bow. I college I came out of one of the buildings and all by myself slipped on a tiny patch of ice and flew down the stairs. I started laughing so anyone walking by must have thought I went crazy. I also tripped leaving the dorms one day and it hurt to sit for a week. Sadly no drinking involved in any of these.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:25 pm #
I am loving this blog. Karen your lettuce leaf story is pretty hilarious.
e.
I guess I would have to join the klutz gang. Just last week I was standing in my kitchen right against the island. I was ladling food into my 3 yr old plate. I put the plate down and it crashed to the floor. Did the exact same thing the week before. I too have numerous burns, scrapes and kitchen knife cuts. I am so careful know that I have improved a bit.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:27 pm #
cont….
I once had to go get my fingers x-rayed because I slipped in the kitchen and banged my fingers against the cabinet. I was totally embarressed to confess how I hurt them.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:27 pm #
sorry for the typos - I really meant NOW not KNOW (2 posts above)
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:30 pm #
This is sad but ah … it really is true that misery loooooves company! Welcome, my Klutzy Sistahs! Welcome to my Den of Bandages and Wine, all to soothe the broken fingers/heads/elbows/buttockses!
ColinFirthFan, don’t you HATE trying to explain how you fell to the ER people? They either look at you like you’re a fool, or they begin to eye your companions with suspicious looks.
“No, I really DID run into the door! Honestly! I do it all of the time!”
ladydawgfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:30 pm #
I am laughing in empathy for everyone of these posts!!
Ronlyn, did you at least get some applause for the show you gave the neighbors??
Karen, it’s about 50/50 on the Chestus Magneticus vs Chestus Magnificus issue. I won’t divulge my size, but suffice it to say, my cat DOES have a nice shelf to take a nap on when I am sitting on the couch!!
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:34 pm #
Personally, I was impressed Ronlyn got some ‘cowboy’ action out of the deal. Almost as good as Kay hitting on the dr when she’s getting her stitches.
You go, girlfriends! Rope in those men! After, of course, you untangle yourself from the lasso and get something for that rope burn.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:41 pm #
Luckily, I don’t have too many ER visits.
I have numerous bruises on my thighs from crashing into the bed EVERY SINGLE time I walk by. Every now and then I find bruises on my arms and I can’t remember how I got them.
I trip over my kids, their toys, bang my toes, shin, head everywhere - followed my mumbled curses ( 2 small kids).
My then 10 yr old nephew heard me once. I was trying to explain to him that I was saying - SHUCKS!!! He didn’t believe me! I was in trouble with my sis.
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:52 pm #
LOL…that’s what the cowboy is for, to help treat those rope burns!
I’m not sure how much my neighbor saw…I mean, if he was paying attention he saw plenty, but we’re fairly new to the neighborhood so he may have been too embarrassed to applaud too loudly. LOL. My DH on the other hand was a bit embarrassed I think. It’s not every day you see a 6 month pregnant woman flying.
Suzanne Enoch on 27 Mar 2007 at 1:56 pm #
Is spitting diet Dr. Pepper out over the keyboard a sign of clutziness? Otherwise, I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I myself am the most graceful person I know. For instance, I’ve never fallen off a stepladder while hanging Christmas lights, bounced off the couch, and ended up flat on my back with little twinkly lights wrapped around my neck. And I’ve never moved my regular ladder only to remember that there was a hammer on the top shelf after it fell on my head. No. Not me.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 2:16 pm #
Oh Ronlyn, that must’ve been quite a sight. LOLOLOLOL
Suzanne, we totally believe ya. (Was that your Christmas card that yr?)
Terry Jo on 27 Mar 2007 at 2:56 pm #
Karen is right, misery does love company! These are so funny, I am laughing my broken butt off.
I can totally commisserate (sp?) with the audience ones. In my eight grade school play, I have the lead role and am SO PROUD. We are waiting on the talent show to finish before we start our play and I trip over some dufus’ drum set and the whole thing goes crashing, cymbals ringing throughout the gymnasium. My cousin was in the play with me and he YELLS out ‘Terry Jo, you klutz’.
Terry Jo on 27 Mar 2007 at 2:58 pm #
cont.
No one would have known because we were behind the stage, if he’d kept his mouth shut. I did get a great round of applause when I stepped onstage.
Then there’s the time I was in a store with my Mom, I was 15, and I was three aisles away from her, when I knocked over a display of chocolate covered cherries. My mom yelled my name from three aisles away! When I got to where she was, I asked how she knew it was me, she just rolled her eyes and told me to watch where I was going.
OV_099 on 27 Mar 2007 at 3:15 pm #
Oh geez, I’m a huge klutz. . . that’s one of the many reasons why I love Julia Quinn’s How to Marry a Marquis. Alas, I’m really not that bad, but it’s nice to see a klutz get the guy. LOL And I swear one of the Noble books of Katie MacAlister’s also had a klutz that I love, but could be wrong. . . I just know someone did and I have it and I loved it.
Lois
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 3:45 pm #
ColinFirthFan, you mean you say BAD WORDS when you fall? I simply yell “MARSHMELLOW!” If you believe that, I have some great ocean front property for you, too, right off the coast of Florida…
Terry Jo, ah, the splendor of relatives who love to out one in public! My Mother had that hideous Kid Hearing, too. She ALWAYS knew who was in trouble and for what and made sure she told all of her/our friends, too. She still does it, too! With GLEE!
And Suzie E, I’m so glad that DIDN’T happen to you … but teehee anyway!
Crystal on 27 Mar 2007 at 4:45 pm #
LOL. These are great.
Karen, yes the thermostat is mounted on the wall, but at 5′5” it is right there at eye level. I was walking down the hall backwards and turned around right there in the middle where the thermostat was mounted and…well, there you have it.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 5:15 pm #
Ahh! The dreaded “right at eye level” thermostat. Sorry, Crystal. I just couldn’t picture you walking into it, but now that you explain it, I feel lucky I haven’t done that, myself!
TerriO on 27 Mar 2007 at 5:44 pm #
I just remembered one I think I had blocked out. I joined the marching band in 8th grade and for some reason I ended up carrying a bass drum. I was like 4′10″ and when I had the drum on you couldn’t see any of me. First football game, over 5000 people and as we enter the stadium I walked into that orange thing in the corner of the endzone. The drum came completely off and hit the ground. I just stood there frozen. I’m just glad I didn’t pass out from embarrassment.
colinfirthfan on 27 Mar 2007 at 5:57 pm #
*clutching aching stomach* Terrio, that is the funniest story. I can totally imagine myself doing that.
Karen H - I would never curse. ever. ever.really…… That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
*adjusting rapidly slipping halo while muttering - @@$(*^@($^*
Selfish Addict on 27 Mar 2007 at 6:16 pm #
I’m one of the pipsqueaks and prior to my breast reduction 26 yrs. mine sat on the table,often in my plate. I never failed to always get something on them. I still have enough of a shelf for my puppies to nap on but,at least they don’t sit down to dinner with me. As a nurse,I’ve always said if I wore a black unifom I’d get something whte on it. At least in pediatrics the colors hide soe things.
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 6:53 pm #
LOL! You guys are cracking me up. Terrio the drum story is a classic!!! I can just see it — and your expression. Oh my gosh!!!
ColinFirthFan, I’m glad you don’t #%$@# curse. I’d hate to have to #%$#$ listen to that. Heh!
SA, yes, prints are useful for MANY reasons, not the least of which it camoflages the spaghetti-sauce-on-the-breast spot.
Claudia Dain on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:06 pm #
You girls and your breasts! Rub it in, why doncha?
The ONLY time I ever got anything to land on my breasts was when I was pregnant and that didn’t last long, only until my belly stuck out farther, along about month 5.
I am so jealous!!!
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:18 pm #
Yes, but Claudia, part of having chestus magnificentus is that they usually come attached to hippus magnificentus. You, m’dear, look great in capris and non-stretch jeans. Most chestus magnificentus women do not.
So there’s a cost …
And perhaps, that’s a bit of the reason I’m clumsy. I’m off balance because of my chestus magnificentus. Heeeey! I’m going to use that the next time I slip/trip/fall on my face.
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:23 pm #
oh God, I once saw a very top heavy woman tip right over into her garden while pulling weeds. I didn’t dare laugh for fear that mine would grow even more and that I would do the same thing in the not so distant future.
Or how about the time I was in college and throwing a broken end table into the dumpster? I’m 5′1 and had to get a little momentum going to get the thing up and in…where it landed squarely on my boob. OUCH!!!!
Nicole Jordan on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:25 pm #
I feel a little guilty laughing at y’alls pratfalls and klutziness, but they really are funny! At the same time, I find myself wincing in sympathy at the pain and embarrassment you must have gone through.
I definitely don’t float but can’t claim to be klutzy either — probably cause of all those years of dance training when I was a kid. But I love clever heroines. I usually try to make mine a little endearing (which I am NOT) and quick-witted, too. I’m witted but not quick *G*.
Nicole
Ronlyn on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:25 pm #
cont.
I yelled and screamed and cried. 3 neighbor guys came running to my rescue, only to fall over laughing once I told them what I’d done…all the while gripping my chest and hopping up and down.
MizMacgyver on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:30 pm #
Don’t be jealous Claudia, I never had them until I 38 years old, pregnant with my son and they didn’t go away. I still haven’t figured out what to do with them and he is now 17. I thought , well at least I will look nice in clothes now, lasted until the rest of me caught up with the boobies. :::sigh::::
MizMacgyver on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:35 pm #
My mother called me “Grace” she thought she was being funny, I however did not find it amusing. I still have cinders in my knee from just getting on my bike, I wasn’t even riding it, I just got on it and down I went. Had my cornea lacerated by my son. The ex was putting drops in it when my son proceeded to scratch the OTHER eye. We are talking some serious pain here ladies.
MizMacgyver on 27 Mar 2007 at 7:37 pm #
I was going to the basement to help my first husband build some shelves, I stepped on a board with a nail in it, stepped back to pull my foot off the nail……..you got it, put ANOTHER nail in that foot! I am not just a klutz, I am a double whammy klutz! As my mom always said, if you are going to do, do it right!
Karen Hawkins on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:23 pm #
Poor MizMac! I’m so glad you’re ok. And oh, that made me WINCE!
Karen who now has a sympathy limp … OW!
Stacy S on 27 Mar 2007 at 8:49 pm #
I’ve always been a klutz. Nobody could understand how I fell going up the steps. When I was little it was always something. Couldn’t be away from family in the store cause I always broke something. Today I’ll have 3-4 bruises and don’t even remember what I’ve ran into until about 2 weeks later. And food, when we go out to eat my husbands like you better get a bib now before the food gets here.
Selfish Addict on 27 Mar 2007 at 9:23 pm #
I became off balance for a while after the breast reduction. First time up I literally almost fell forward,from being used to being top heavy. It was worth it. Now if I could have a hip reduction!!
Kelly Ann on 27 Mar 2007 at 10:57 pm #
Terry Jo, speaking of moms, I used to blame mine for my “accidents” when we were in public. It’s still a joke in our family. The 1st time we were in Bealls (Fl) where I knocked down the racks that hang shirts way up high where you need one of those painfully menacing hooks (different story). When the crowed gathered I said, “Gee Mom, I can’t take you anywhere!” She was so stunned that I slipped away to another part of the store before she recovered! Thankfully my mom has my sense of humor!
Brandy on 27 Mar 2007 at 11:31 pm #
Just thought of another ‘incident’. Ever eat at Outback Steakhouse? And they bring you a bread loaf basket, and knives to spread the butter. (See where this is going?) While slicing a piece of bread off, I cut my hand. I might have scared the waitress, who dashed all over the resteraunt to find me a bandaid. *sigh* (The hubs jokes I’m not allowed near knives anymore.)
ericaleigh on 28 Mar 2007 at 1:24 am #
Do those graceful creatures really exist? Big fakers, all of them. I have to believe that they are klutz’s at heart…or maybe they have a worse flaw. I am the Queen klutz. I work in a restaurant and any time something breaks, crashes or bangs my co-workers immediately look around for me and call my name! Every SINGLE time, no kidding. I get asked all the time if its difficult to live like I do. I always say it doesn’t faze me anymore.
Janelle on 28 Mar 2007 at 9:37 am #
Hey, Karen, I was wondering something…
Since the first two books in your new series come out within 6 months of each other, can we expect the 3rd in January? Also… does it have a title? And… are you at all bribeable (spoilers, chocolate for spoilers…)
Janelle, who isn’t a klutz, unless you count having 4 children in one year
colinfirthfan on 28 Mar 2007 at 11:29 am #
You had quads? or 2 sets of twins? Wow! I am quite impressed!!
Yeah Karen - what bribes do you want?
Karen Hawkins on 28 Mar 2007 at 1:49 pm #
Yes, m’dears, the third will be released at the end of January. HOW TO CATCH A HIGHLANDER is Dougal’s story AND I just signed up to do 4 more books for Pocket so more MacLeans will be forthcoming! I looove that because this has been the most fun series I’ve ever written. I love men in kilts! And men without kilts, too. So a book with men in their AND out of their kilts … be still my heart!!!
And Janelle … four children in ONE year? The SAME year? Pray tell HOW!
Wirdald on 28 Mar 2007 at 4:37 pm #
I keep having to explain to my coworkers why I’m laughing. Love these stories!
I’m not allowed to peel potatoes, since I have NEVER done so without cutting myself.
Last week I went rollerskating with my family. Two hours of skating, and I never fell! I was feeling pretty proud of myself, until I went to take my skates off. Two steps from the bench, I went down — windmilling arms and all. It hurts a lot more now than it did 10 years ago. Of course, I weigh twice as much now…
Karen Hawkins on 28 Mar 2007 at 5:33 pm #
Wirdald, I hear ya! Why is it that just when you think you’re out of danger and ’safe’ from falling or tripping, etc, you’re actually just entering the Real Danger Zone?
I was sure I would fall at my wedding climbing the steps to the altar for the vows. But nooo … as I’m walking down the aisle away from all of this, THEN I stumble (on nothing), trip (on nothing), and fall (won’t say where).
Thank GOODNESS no one caught it on video. That’s all I’m sayin’ …
MizMacgyver on 28 Mar 2007 at 8:03 pm #
Age hasn’t helped me at all. I kept hoping as I got older I would learn to walk. Hasn’t happened yet and I am now 55. Bought a house in 2002. The laundry room is in the basement. You have to go outside, down the stairs, down the walk, and down some more stairs. I have fallen down the first set of stairs 15 times to date and the second set of stairs 4 times. The double whammy klutz still lives!
Hopey on 28 Mar 2007 at 8:24 pm #
I was such a klutz as a kid that my mother insisted that I go to dancing school. I now teach aerobic dance and exercise, so in a way, my klutziness has given me a career! My dad used to ask me to eat with my right hand, despite my left-handedness, because he hoped that I would do it with a little more grace! And finally, my first boyfriend told my mom that I would never die a natural death. I would walk into an open man-hole that everyone else could see, but it would swallow me alive!
Janelle on 29 Mar 2007 at 8:52 am #
I had triplets, and immediately got pregnant once I got the go-ahead to have sex again. *sigh*
Janelle on 29 Mar 2007 at 8:53 am #
And I haven’t had the new baby yet. Next month.
Aimee on 29 Mar 2007 at 11:13 am #
*stands* Hello clutz anoymous I have been a member all my life. I have tripped UP so many stairs. Broken bones and got so many bruises. A few cases of my clutz like activities has convinced my husband to try and figure out where the bubble boy got the bubble cause he wants me and my daughter in one (she has mommy’s natural grace) she has gotten a huge goose egg by tripping on thin air and head butting a rocking chair
Aimee on 29 Mar 2007 at 11:20 am #
My black eye incident (well one of many)happend when I went to pick up the tire valve after I put air in the tire. Tripped on absolutly nothing and went to catch myself by doing a stubbling run and ran smack into the back end of the car right over the tire face first. Then there was climbing up on my bunk bed as a child slipping and shoving my foot through a fish tank. Oh and the many times my co-workers giggle at me cause I almost knock my self unconcious answering my work phone (head bumbs)
colinfirthfan on 29 Mar 2007 at 12:22 pm #
Wow! Janelle, good luck and here’s wishing you lots of energy. I can’t imagine 4 under the age of 12 or 18 months. Hope you have lots of help.
(OK I can’t imagine 4 period)
I will stop whining about my 2 boys now…
Karen Hawkins on 29 Mar 2007 at 1:55 pm #
Janelle, I am in awe! You ARE a goddess — the goddess of fertility, apparently! Congrats and please keep us posted. I bet you’ll have LOTS of stories for us in the years coming.
Meanwhile we’ll be thinking of you as the month progresses. HUGS from us all!!!
Aimee, I laughed so hard about your DH wanting to put you and your daughter in a bubble! Just remind him that when you climb in, you can’t do housework EVER AGAIN. Ya know, it might not be so bad to live in a bubble!
Janelle on 29 Mar 2007 at 3:38 pm #
Someone once told me that I had potting soil in my uterus…
Aimee on 29 Mar 2007 at 3:47 pm #
Yeah I don’t think it would work hehehe nice thought though…..
wow janelle I thought I was bad I joke with people that I had a moment when I was pregnant for 4 years. I have a 5 year old 3 year old 1 miscarrage and now a 6 month old and the three plus my 9 yr old stepdaughter keep me over worked I can’t imagine on top of the kids I also work as a reservationist at a realty company (reserve vacation homes)
Karen Hawkins on 30 Mar 2007 at 12:13 pm #
You guys are awesome. I have two kids, both about grown. One is in college and one is in high school, but on his way to (as he puts it) “complete independence” (uh huh). I remember very little of child rearing years other than being very, very busy and very, very tired, and laughing a lot. Kids are marvelous things, are they?
Good luck, Janelle! I bet you’ve already become a whiz at baby-care, as you’ve had the original crash course!
TheNightPoet on 01 Apr 2007 at 10:57 pm #
I am most of the time a graceful person, but there are times I am a klutz. My personal trait I have is my self-confidence. One of my friends says she wishes she could be so confident in herself like I am. I don’t let anyone get to me and if they want to think something about me is funny, stupid or wrong, etc., I say that’s their problem. I don’t let little things bother me. I love who I am and don’t want to change anything about myself. My flaw: I worry too much sometimes.
Andrea
Karen Hawkins on 02 Apr 2007 at 7:19 am #
Ah, worry. Night Poet, I feel your pain! I need to blog on that as I’m an EXPERT worrier.
You know, I’ve revealed my klutzy side to ya’ll and now I’m going to admit my obsessive worrying. You guys are going start thinking, “That Karen Hawkins needs COUNSELING!”
Or a really, really good glass of vino.
TheNightPoet on 02 Apr 2007 at 11:21 am #
Karen, I have had to teach myself not to worry so much. I used to be far worse than what I am now. There was one time three years ago I was worrying about something at school while I was eating lunch. I ended up running into (not literally) one of my friends from my Spanish class who was the “push” I needed to start changing my worrying thoughts. He said, after listening to what was wrong with me that day, “You can’t control everything, Andrea. You can’t spend your life worrying all…cont.
TheNightPoet on 02 Apr 2007 at 11:29 am #
(continued) “…the time about everything.” I think it might have been worded a little differently, but the way he said it just clicked in my mind and from then on whenever I started getting worried a lot, I would think of what he said to me and it helped me a lot.
I’m grateful to him for talking to me that day. Now I’m not such a “worry wort”, but I still tend to worry at times. hehe I’m glad someone here feels my pain on worrying too much. 
Andrea
Karen Hawkins on 02 Apr 2007 at 11:54 am #
I’m glad you found something that soothed your over-worrying heart! I think we all worry, but it’s funny how worrying itself can be one of our worst problems! I have to fight that myself.
Hugs, Andrea. I’m glad things are working out for you!
TheNightPoet on 04 Apr 2007 at 12:00 am #
I agree with you on how worrying itself can be one of our worst problems. It truly is. Hugs to you too, Karen, I hope your worrying thoughts stop hassling you so much.
Andrea
Karen Hawkins on 04 Apr 2007 at 9:00 am #
Oh, I think I’ve got my worrying under control now.
One problem with being a writer by trade is that you train your brain to pursue the “WHAT IFs” even when that can be bothersome. So now, if I find myself worrying about the “WHAT IFs” of nuclear war or famine, I DO something about it like write a letter to my congressman or donate money to a famine relief fund.
I also exercise five to six times a week and watch my caffiene … all things that help!
Thanks for your concern, m’dear NightPoet! And hugs back atcha!
TheNightPoet on 04 Apr 2007 at 11:15 am #
hehe Those are good things to do.
I try to avoid the “WHAT IFs” as well, but sometimes I can’t. Oh well, it goes with the territory. 
Hugs to you again too! hehe
Andrea