Confessions of a Weak-Kneed Goddess
Feb 23rd 2007
Karen HawkinsWhen Goddesses Fall To Earth
I’m not a weak woman.
I can change my own oil, climb on the roof to look for a leak, and have been known to call my mechanic a ‘dirty, rotten liar’ to his face.
I’ve faced angry drivers, outraged students, and tough-as-nails editors. I even lived in a house for two years that had a snake living under the porch.
I went through childbirth two times, had my wisdom teeth cut out, and hiked on a bloody heel for three days. (Not at the same time, of course, but STILL . . .)
I am no soft, can’t-do-it sort of woman . . . but there’s one thing that if I see it, I will screech like a little girl, lift my heels and run away faster than the speed of light.
Nemesis, thy name is spider.
In my book, HOW TO ABDUCT A HIGHLAND LORD (which hit the NYT list at #33!), my heroine, Fiona, is the way I want to be – tough, capable, and fearless. I always picture myself that way, too. But my strong sense of logic, my calm good sense and my fearless spirit go right out the window the second I see a spider.
In fact, I once caught my house on fire trying to kill a spider in a sort of ‘escalating warfare’ scenario. It was a huge wolf spider, the really ugly, tricky kind. It had slipped into my kitchen sink because (as we know) it wanted to jump on me and suck out all of my blood.
I won’t give you the entire blow-by-blow story, but let me state for the record that Tupperware smells INCREDIBLY bad when you catch it on fire. And no, firemen don’t really look like that in real life.
So tell me, am I alone? Do you guys have any Serious Fears? Spiders? Snakes? Dogs that bite? Dentists? Your Mother-In-Law? For who and what would you catch your house on fire in order to make sure they were REALLY dead?
55 Comments »
55 Responses to “Confessions of a Weak-Kneed Goddess”
Bridget Waters on 23 Feb 2007 at 9:07 am #
I really get all gitter-y by squeaky/nails on a chalkboard sounds. I can’t stop cringing. Also I’m a bit clastrophic, Like I don’t really mind being aorund alot of people but They can’t stand around me like behind me or something. I also can’t breathe the air that’s around me if too many people are around, It makes me feel sick.
*sigh* If only firemen did look like that in real life, TV hates us. They make everything sexy on TV so you’ll be disappointed in your own life.
krissyinva on 23 Feb 2007 at 9:27 am #
I can deal with spiders, but a snake living under your porch? no I couldn’ handle that. I guess I have always had a problen with creatures that wiggle and slither. Worms(yes even worms), Slugs and Snakes are not for me. Now with worms and slugs I will not be frozen with fright, I just don’t like them!! Many slugs have come to their end outside of my house, I get an evil laugh when I pour salt on them. Snakes though scare me, the funny thing is that when I met my hubby he was carrying a 6 foot Boa (his pet). Umm, yes he hasn’t had that snake or any others for over 9 years now!!
Claudia Dain on 23 Feb 2007 at 9:30 am #
Oh, Karen, you nailed it.
Ariande, the original spider created by one of our fellow gods, still scares me to death! You think Mt. Olympus would have cured that, but…no.
Anything creepy, crawly…anything that SCUTTLES. Ugh. Shivers.
Worse than shivers. SCREAMS! I can’t help it. I don’t even really try. Spiders, cockroaches, mice, rats, beetles, centipedes…all scream worthy.
Julia London on 23 Feb 2007 at 9:38 am #
Snakes. Snakes make me ill with fear. I get seriously nauseated just looking at them. Spiders don’t bother me. Scorpions make me scream, especially if they get in the house. But they don’t make me want to vomit like snakes do. yuuuuuck.
The other thing I will not touch: cars. I don’t want to know how they run. I don’t want to change oil or get gas. I want to get in my car and I want it to drive and I want the sound system to work and I like fancy gadgets. But if there is a tire, motor, or whatever other kind of problem you can have with a car that requires more than changing the music, I do not want to know. Don’t try and explain it to me, either. I can’t hear you! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
ashefrog on 23 Feb 2007 at 9:45 am #
For me it is cockroaches. I once brought one home in a bag of potatoes and thankfully it fell out in the sink. I turned the water on, flushed it into the garbage disposal and flipped the switch. I was screaming at the top of my lungs the entire time. I brought family members from every corner of the house thinking I was dying or atleast fighting off some monstrous creature.
I also have a claustrophobic issue. I don’t like to be in crushing crowds, have ppl invading my personal space by standing too close or getting in small places and getting stuck. I have no problem with elevators until they get struck then the claustrophia starts. For me it is a matter of control. When I feel like I can’t control my surroundings then I start to freak out.
As far as catching the house on fire, I hope I never have to find out.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Feb 2007 at 10:03 am #
Ashefrog, on the Cochroaches … ugh! You’re right. I just moved to FL where they politely call them “Palmeto bugs” and pretend they’re just a part of sub tropical living.
Not. For. Me.
And the snakes … well, I don’t like ‘em, but they don’t make me scream like a hairy spider.
JuliaL, embrace your car! Without it, you can’t get to the mall. That’s, like, important and stuff.
Karen H
Sherri Browning Erwin on 23 Feb 2007 at 10:11 am #
Failure! I fear failure! Is there anything worse? Also, rodents. Mice and rats. We had a mouse in the house once, and I obsessively looked for any signs of mice for months afterward. I couldn’t sleep. Fear of little scrambling feet and long tails kept me awake listening and shaking for weeks. It was awful.
Bugs don’t bother me much. I have a little car fear, too. I don’t even like to pump my own gas. But that one I can get over, must get to the mall indeed! There are shoes to be bought! Karen, congrats on the NYT! Whooo!
Karen Hawkins on 23 Feb 2007 at 10:20 am #
Thanks, Sherri! There was much celebrating at Chez Hawkins! Bubbly all around and lotsa chocolate. The necessities must be met, you know.
Yes, teh care must be embraced. Car=RideToShoeSale=GoodThing. It’s a simple equation, but I also understand Car=WeirdNoise=ConfusingAndExpensiveThing. Every morning, I’m going to go out into the driveway and hug my jeep. “Good Jeep. Nice Jeep. Run smoothly for 165,000 more miles, please!”
Julia London on 23 Feb 2007 at 10:52 am #
This is why you have husbands and boyfriends, Karen. They do car stuff. You do laundry in exchange. It is a universal law.
Sherri, I forgot about mice. My family has a cabin in the mountains in Taos. It’s gotten to where I hate to go there because mice + mountains = another universal law. My family says they aren’t going to hurt me, that I am way bigger than a little mouse (what is THAT supposed to mean?). But they sound like monsters in the middle of the night and I can’t STAND it!
RachelG on 23 Feb 2007 at 11:32 am #
Grasshoppers. I have a humongous fear of grasshoppers. I would much rather deal with a snake or a spider in the house than a grasshopper. My husband has always said that if he wanted to kill me and get away with it, he’d lock me in a room with a grasshopper. I’d have a heart attack and it would look like natural causes. He’s right. I would die of a heart attack, but instead of killing me (so far anyway) he’s my grasshopper gladiator.
I have a cabin in the mountains and the mice don’t really bother me. When we move in in the summer, they generally move out. But we do have a squirrel problem in the attic. Talk about loud at night. While I don’t fear the squirrels, I haven’t stuck my head up there to see what they’re doing. Mr. G keeps threatening to go up there and get midlevel on them, but he never has.
Regarding mechanics. The problem with mechanics is not so much that they are crooked as they are just incompetent. Being male, they refuse to believe they’re incompetent. They also refuse to admit they don’t know what the problem is and just throw parts at it until it’s fixed. There are a lot of good mechanics out there, the bummer is that you never know what you’re getting until it’s too late.
DebMarlowe on 23 Feb 2007 at 12:18 pm #
I’m with JL on the snakes. Hideous, nasty things.
I had to kill a little copperhead in our driveway a couple of months ago, because our Fearless Cat thought she could take it. I saw her out there swiping her little paw and then jumping back, over and over. So Extremely Fearful Me had to grab the nearest weapon to hand (heavy metal tire jack component) and smash it. Then I left it for the Absent Husband to dispose of. Ugh.
Of course, Absent Husband came home and said, “You know, there’s never just one, there must be more around.” Which made me want to brain him with the tire iron. Don’t tell me that!
Deb
colinfirthfan on 23 Feb 2007 at 12:45 pm #
Can’t stand any creepy, crawly anything. One of those flying cochroaches landed on my head once when I was around 12. I screamed and screamed and then washed my hair 3 times at least. ugh!
i have killed a few cochroaches. yuck yuck yuck.
Wanted to throuw up the whole time though,
Alse, hate snakes and mice and worms. I leave all the gradening to my hubby coz I absolutely will not go near a worm.
I have touched a snake at the zoo once. I can look at them - just don’t wnat them near me or in my house.
Sabrina Jeffries on 23 Feb 2007 at 12:51 pm #
Maybe it’s because I grew up in the tropics, but creepy, crawly things don’t bother me. I actually like snakes and would love to have a pet one, except that my husband would divorce me. I’m not fond of cockroaches, but they don’t inspire fear–they just gross me out. I wouldn’t scream if I saw one, but I wouldn’t pick one up either if I could avoid it (which is why, when we found my son at two with a dead one in his mouth–apparently he just HAD to know what they tasted like–we really freaked out). Spiders and other bugs don’t bother me a bit.
What I have trouble with is needles. I’ve had lots of them stuck in me in my life (that growing-up-in-the-tropics thing, you know), but I can’t watch them go in. I can’t. I am liable to faint (and have, once or twice). I also can’t watch even one second of those real-life surgery shows where they cut into people. I could NEVER have been a doctor. Never.
Deb, you should hook up with my mom–she killed cobras and a banded krait (highly poisonous) when I was a kid. And HER mother killed rattlers. Apparently, the snake-killing gene runs strong in my family.
Susan K on 23 Feb 2007 at 1:26 pm #
Okay I am absolutely afraid of:
Heights - I always feel like I’m going to fall
Water where I can’t see the bottom - I grew up right by Lake Superior until I was 8. Not quite sure where this fear came from. I’m a nervous wreck whenever I go home to visit family.
Snakes - can’t even stand looking at them. When they were advertising the movie Snakes on a Plane I had nightmares almost every night.
Spiders - completely freak me out!
Driving in snow or ice - scared to death!
That’s about it. Boy am I a wuss!
Suzanne Enoch on 23 Feb 2007 at 1:30 pm #
Yes, if KarenH and I ever end up with a spider in the hotel room we share for Nationals, we’d be doomed. Or rather, I’d be doomed, because I think she can run faster than I can.
I once called my sister at midnight and made her come over and kill a black widow that had somehow gotten into one of my bathroom cabinets. Luckily she only fears cockroaches. Whenever I see a cockroach I stomp on it, yelling “no way your species is going to outlive mine, sucka!” *g*
Suzanne Enoch
Karen Rose on 23 Feb 2007 at 1:40 pm #
Snakes. Slimy (I know they’re dry, don’t bother), slithery horrid things.
Planes. I fly, but don’t like it. I’ve taught physics - I know about the theory of flight, but I say that a million pounds of steel staying suspended in the air just ain’t right.
Snakes on a plane - don’t even go there.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Feb 2007 at 1:46 pm #
Snakes On A Plane — aka, the movie Karen has vowed to Never Watch.
The worst thing for me about spiders is that I’m nearsighted, and so any black speck can look like a spider to me. And off a I go …. EEEEEEEEEEE!
SuzieE, if we’re at the conference together and a spider lodges in our room, we’re calling the concierge. And that guy/gal is gettin’ a HEFTY tip!
RachelG … grasshoppers? What about crickets? Do you like those?
FilmPhan on 23 Feb 2007 at 1:47 pm #
I hate spiders! Just gives me the chills thinking about them. I don’t like bugs either. They just aren’t normal looking or cute. They’re creepy. I had a hard time watching the bug scenes in “King Kong.” I get all itchy and have to make sure they aren’t crawling on me too.
Ronlyn on 23 Feb 2007 at 2:26 pm #
Crockadiles (is that how you spell it?) They are just evil, vile souless beasts. I have no use for them…good thing I live in Seattle where there aren’t any.
I’m not terribly fond of spiders, but they don’t frighten me…although I agree: wolf spiders that JUMP at you can freak me out. I dislike snakes. Again, not a fear, but growing up on a ranch in MT I learned to look out for them because they would frighten the horses. I did enjoy shooting them. *blush*
Terry Jo on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:02 pm #
Karen, your blog struck my funny bone because I have repeatedly told my hubby I will burn the house down if I ever find a snake in it. My greatest adventure ever was when I was 12 and went to the zoo and allowed my evil older sister to talk me into going into the snakehouse. I tried to keep my eyes straight ahead the entire time, didn’t look to the side at all, which is probably why I screamed “SNAKE” when I thought I backed up against a wall to rest, but it was really the glass of a huge snake cage. I couldn’t tell you what species as I was immediately hauling butt, along with about 20 other people who heard me and thought a snake had gotten loose.
Next to snakes would be needles and blood. I end up on the floor, when my eldest was one, he fell and busted his lip, my husband was in a panic because he had a bleeding baby and a passed out wife. When he told my mom about it, she informed him to clean the baby up first as I would just pass out again if the blood was still there.
And the needles. UGH! My dad was a diabetic and he decided everyone should learn to give him a shot in case he ever went into shock, I absolutely refused to learn. He said “What would you do if you found me laying in a coma?” to which I replied, “Cry while you die.” Luckily he never went into shock on my shift. I know that sounds mean, but if I see a needle going into flesh, it is OVER, I have been revived more than once from glancing down at the wrong time.
OV_099 on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:07 pm #
Snakes and bugs right here. . . ugh, can’t even think about them, without shivering. Eww. . .
Needles though, when I was a kid, I ended up in the hospital a lot with my asthma, and never had a problem with them because with me getting stuck that many times, you really couldn’t. LOL I’d watch, no problem. Then ages after the last time I was in a hospital, I went to a new doctor for a simple first visit checkup, where they do a blood test. I wasn’t afraid of it, I just couldn’t look at it. Boy, have times changed. LOL
Lois
Wirdald on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:11 pm #
I’m afraid of:
sharks. Of course, I live in Illinois, so they’re not really a danger to me, but still… (and is it weird that I can’t resist watching any shark horror movie and always watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel?).
walking out of a dark room. I’ll walk in, no problem. But the minute I turn out the lights and turn my back, I run — not walk — to someplace with light, or at least someplace where my back is not exposed to the evils of a dark room.
spiders — dead or alive. I have a very difficult time killing them because you have to get close to do that. I’ve tried throwing things at them, but then they MOVE or, worse, fall off the wall and disappear. And you’re right, Karen. They jump. They also come back to life — zombie spiders. I’ve been known to freak out because I thought a little ball of thread was a dead spider.
Karen Hawkins on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:19 pm #
Zombie spiders … shudder! I hear you, Wirdald! I hear you!
Terry Jo, you’re “Cry while you die” answer had me in stitches, but I TOTALLY understand. There is no reasoning where deep fear is concerned. You can’t use it if it doesn’t exist.
You know what else makes me jump? Whenever I’m in an ocean or lake and something brushes against my leg — EEEYYYYYOOOOOOEEEEEWWWWWW!
gannon on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:31 pm #
I despise huge cockroaches–the ones they do indeed call palmetto bugs in FL. I grew up in FL and those creepy crawlies completely freak me out, especially when they decide to fly. Even now, when I go visit my parents in FL, I yell for my dad to come kill a roach if I see it. UGH!!
Spiders only bother me if they’re super big. I can deal with the little ones. My oldest son, on the other hand, can’t stand spiders.
Susan K on 23 Feb 2007 at 3:52 pm #
I forgot about crocidiles/aligators. I should just say any reptile cause I’m pretty much afraid of all of them.
Not fond of needles either.
Adrienne on 23 Feb 2007 at 4:08 pm #
Besides the regular fears - snakes, creepy crawlies, anything with an exoskeleton - I have my two bizarre fears. Geese and carnivals.
Geese I’ve always been terrified of. No reason, there was no childhood goose trauma. Their little beaks open and that dart-like tongue starts hissing and start thinking foi gras.
Carnivals were childhood traumas that I’ve never gotten over. They’re too crowded and dirty and sketchy. Why anyone gets on a spinning ride that’s traveled back and forth across the country six times on the back of a flatbed truck is beyond me.
Claudia Dain on 23 Feb 2007 at 4:13 pm #
Reptiles. Love ‘em. Not that I want one as a pet, but I love the way they look and I love what they do: they eat all the scuttling bugs and rodents that creep me out!!
Snakes, lizards, frogs, alligators…love you guys. Eat up!
Now, that bug scene in King Kong…you have no idea. I sat there, SCREAMING, the whole time. Hand clutched to my throat, eyes wide with fear, SCREAMING like I was being murdered. And I was. I’m almost positive I was.
Of course, I lived through it, but just barely.
Wirdald on 23 Feb 2007 at 4:24 pm #
Adrienne — I definitely see what you mean about the carnivals. They definitely seem sketchy, but every year for a decade I paid for an armband and rode everything I could. The ignorant bliss of childhood. But geese?
Terry Jo — You just made me laugh out loud — literally, not the LOL — at work. I know it probably was not funny in reality, but I had to laugh at the mental image of a poor, bewildered husband looking back and forth between a crying baby and a passed-out wife. Tee hee!
Sabrina Jeffries on 23 Feb 2007 at 4:38 pm #
I’m with you, Claudia–the reptiles eat bugs (especially flies–I’m not scared of flies, but I don’t like them in my food).
Mention of carnivals brought back something I’d forgotten, however. When I was a child, I was TERRIFIED of masks. Any kind of mask. A kid next door scared me just by putting a clown mask on the floor. I freaked out. For the first seven or so years of my life, I couldn’t trick or treat. I sat in the car with my eyes covered while my brother and sister went house to house.
I outgrew it (fortunately, we really couldn’t trick or treat in Thailand), but when I lived in New Orleans, it recurred every year a little at carnival. The guys on the floats with the masks always creeped me out. It wasn’t enough to send me running or to keep me from fighting for beads and doubloons, but it did give me a little chill. So I guess it’s still there somewhere.
And no, I have no clue where the fear comes from. My mom never knew either.
I too laughed at Terry Jo’s post!! Cry while you die–that would be me. I have a friend who’s a diabetic and shoots up at meals. If she were dying, I guess I’d attempt to give her the insulin, but I don’t know. It’s hard to give a shot while you’re passing out. Although needles really bother me most when they’re going into ME!
Erin Barnhart on 23 Feb 2007 at 4:40 pm #
I, too, have just moved to Florida from the upper Mid-West. My exterminator is a necessity, not a luxury. Small spiders fail to race my heart, but the dreaded wolf spider will make a shrill rise up from my toes. Once, when my husband was out of town, I ran next door and begged my neighbors husband to kill one for me. He was kind enough to help me because, yes, we know about that blood-sucking thing they do! Deep in my heart I knew I had to protect my young children from this intruder, and no amount of embarrassment could stop me from accomplishing that goal. I’ve only seen the Palmetto bugs twice, but they were so Big! that I closed off the lanai until my husband could kill it with a construction boot.
kimber on 23 Feb 2007 at 5:23 pm #
Sabrina,I am with you on the needle issue: can’t even look at them.
Spiders: I’ve had to kill to many to be scared of them. Snakes on the other hand I’m not to fond of. My hubby has one as a pet and we keep it in the garage as far away from the house as possible. My biggest fear of them is that when I hike with my dogs(I have 3 Jack Russell Terriers, think Eddy from Frasier) will follow something into the brush and get bit. I lived in Georgia for a short time and rememeber the Snapping Turtles in the ponds. EEk! And clowns: they don’t scare me so much as just freak me out. Mostly that it… for now.
lol,
kim
Kelly Compton on 23 Feb 2007 at 5:31 pm #
I will tell you quickly about what my family calls The Spider Curse. It all began late one night during the summer a few years back while driving home in my car. I was viciously attacked by a brown recluse. After that one spider bite I believe all the spiders in Florida could sense the poison coursing threw my veins and thought I was fresh meat for the taking. They would drop on me from the ceiling or if I was walking under a tree, any time I parked under a tree I would have one in my car waiting for me (I abandoned my car in more ditches then I can remember), I obviously don’t work out in the garden because the flower could come from a store and it would have a spider on it and to really bring my point across…. I’m not even safe on a beach (and that was one of those wolf spiders)! I get chills and cold sweats every time I remember running, screaming down the beach and when I had finally stopped and looked down the darn thing was still on my shoe and when I flung my shoe off he crawled inside it instead of back onto the sand!
I keep spider spray in my house, car and at work, I think they should make a little key chain pepper spray for spiders. So I understand your fear, I would probably not even bother to call the fire department if that spider disappeared before it was killed because with my spider curse I would wake up to that spider webbing me in a cocoon for a midnight snack!
Karen Hawkins on 23 Feb 2007 at 5:52 pm #
Ohhh! SPIDER PEPPER SPRAY! That’s one of those million dollar ideas I’ve always wanted to have but haven’t.
Oh, m’ dears, the things that causes our otherwise healthy and thick blood to course wildly through our veins!!!
Nicole Jordan on 23 Feb 2007 at 6:34 pm #
I admit I couldn’t think of any phobias (disgust me, yes; scare me, no) until SusanK mentioned driving on snow and ice. Boy, did that bring back scary memories!
My dh rolled our Chevy Blaze on ice once because the brakes locked up (before anti-lock brakes became standard) and put me in the hospital with a crushed vertebrae. I wish I had a pic of his guilty, humble, hangdog expression when he walked into my hospital room carrying a pot of begonias. I dislike begonias to this day.
And for years afterward I was terrified of driving on even 1/4 inch of snow…. I’m talking white-knuckled clenched-teeth praying for deliverance terrified. Until we moved to a ski resort and there was snow on all the roads 9 months out of the year. So I had to get over my hang-up fast or not ever leave the house. (Let me tell you, 4-wheel drives with ice tires are wonderful things. I worship them.)
So for me, compared to ice, snakes and spiders are only piddling nuisances! (REALLY don’t like the idea of diving into a Georgia creek into a bed of water moccasins, though. Land snakes are fine, but not water snakes.)
NicoleJ
RachelG on 23 Feb 2007 at 6:51 pm #
Karen H, I don’t mind the little crickets . . . but have you ever seen a Mormon cricket? Hideous. And they eat each other. They really are the stuff of horror movies.
I don’t mind driving on snow and ice. I guess maybe because I live in Idaho and have always driven on snow and ice.
Anita M on 23 Feb 2007 at 6:57 pm #
oh! i am teriffied of snakes big , small doesn’t matter just watching them on tv makes me break out in a sweat , i shaw the moving “snakes in the plane ” i spent most of the movie with my eyes closed , i’m happy to live in MASS not many snakes up here , big dogs too ! make me stop breathing when we are walking towards each other and they knowwwwww that - it’s in my eyes i think , i was bitten by one when i was 7 and after that i like to stick with cats - about the car issue i fully agree with Nicole why do i need my HUBBY for , LOL , I guess i could change a tire if need be and check the whatever they call that fluid , but thats about it , yep laundry and cooking is my calling , LOL
Sonja Foust on 23 Feb 2007 at 8:16 pm #
I’m really glad I’m not the only one who runs-not-walks down dark hallways toward the light because, obviously, stupendously scary creatures appear AS SOON AS you turn off the lights. It’s true, darn it. I’ve been scared of the dark ever since I was a little kid. Too many missionary demon stories I think. And, duh, demons like to hang out in the dark, waiting to suck out your soul and take over your body.
I’m also sort of claustrophobic, although I’m ok as long as I have some air and can move. If my arms are pinned and I can’t turn my head, it’s over. I scream like a banshee until I’m free. (Poor husband knows not to play-wrestle and pin me down anymore.)
Stephanie on 23 Feb 2007 at 10:37 pm #
I’m not a big fan of any kind of bug, but I cannot stand a spider or snake or cockroach (especially the big ones). I start screaming for someone to kill a spider or roach, because I will not go near one.
TheNightPoet on 23 Feb 2007 at 11:55 pm #
I am very, and I stress VERY, afraid of spiders!!! ‘cringe’ I’m also afraid of snakes, and crunchy, black bugs. ‘cringe’ again. Karen, I would probably do the same as you and set the house on fire to try to kill a spider!! I won’t go near the things, unless I absolutely HAVE to. I always get my dad to kill them. lol (if the spiders are small, I can usually ignore the fact that I’m about to come close to a spider and I can kill it. But if it is BIG, I will jump on the couch and go to the other side of the room from where it’s at!)
I am also VERY VERY VERY….did I mention VERY?….afraid of clowns!!!! I hate going to a parade and seeing them there! This last summer, I was at a parade where clowns were in it and they were going up to the crowd. I hid behind a tree and had my friends form a semicircle around me so the clowns would not approach me! I know clowns are just people in makeup and costumes, but I can’t help it. I have always been scared of clowns; ever since I can remember. Have any of you seen the movie “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”? (it was a movie from the 80s) I love that movie, but I believe that it’s what got me scared of clowns! I hadn’t seen that movie in a long time and one day a few years ago, I was watching tv and it came on. When I saw the clowns in the movie, I realized that they are what I see everytime I see a clown. (in case you haven’t seen the movie….the clowns have pointed, sharp, jagged teeth and big scary faces. their makeup and eyes are scary, as are their smiles. they look evil, which in fact they are, since they come to Earth to kill people in the movie.)
You know this conversation is bringing back to mind “Aracnophobia”. ‘Cringe” even more!! Note to all us who would start a spider on fire, remember that scene where the guy uses his flame thrower to catch the spider on fire and it jumps out at him and attacks him, while it’s on fire!!???? Okay, I’ll stop. Oh man, I hope I don’t have nightmares tonight! ‘laughs nervously’
Andrea
JennB on 24 Feb 2007 at 12:45 am #
I totally agree with the whole spider thing. I grew up near mountains and we had tarantulas around our place. I even stepped on one inadvertantly! Ugh! The bottom of my keds were really gross! Another time, when I was coming home late from a date (around 11:30p.m), there was one on the brick wall leading up to our front door. Since, I drove the 3rd car, I would normally park on the driveway and enter through this door. NOT. THAT. NIGHT! I laid on the horn until my dad came outside. He wasn’t very happy with me, and I am sure the neighbors weren’t either. Once I pointed out the hairy beast from the safety of my car, he understood and got a broom.
And speaking of Arachnophobia the movie, I can’t even sit through the first 15 minutes. My husband graciously thought that he would help me get over my phobia… Needless to say, I ended up crawling behind him on the couch, with my head in my hands. I also can’t watch the 2nd Harry Potter movie and the Shelob part of Lord of the Rings isn’t in the cards either!
AndreaW on 24 Feb 2007 at 8:56 am #
I used to be deathly afraid of all spiders, but not so much of the little ones anymore. The big hairy ones still scare the poop out of me though!
Karen Hawkins on 24 Feb 2007 at 9:13 am #
Clowns are on either end of the spectrum for me — either scary or funny. There are not middle-of-the-road clowns for me.
My son had a video game based on a demented clown. Can’t remember the name of it, but the premise was that this child had been abused and he’d grown up to become a killer clown. It weirded me out so bad that I ‘lost’ his game and bought him something else. I just got all creeped out when the music would start.
You guys are pips to share your fears! I’m just glad I’m not the only person who’d be willing to catch their house on fire to kill a Fearful Thing. I am not alone!!!
Kathy on 24 Feb 2007 at 12:09 pm #
Hi all,
I have two daughters that are spider-phobes.
I don’t like UFO’s. The thought of them creeps me out. I don’t want to see one. Don’t want to have aliens land. Will never be abducted etc……. “Phone home” did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling.
I was afraid of bridges for a little while. Been driving over them all my life, then at 50 became sure that somehow I would end up going over the edge. The whole nauseous, white knuckled thing. Started as soon as I could see the bridge-could see myself flying over the guard railing; how was I going to get out, how was I going to get my child out, etc….Happily that has gone away.
UFO’s? Nah……..
JackieToo on 24 Feb 2007 at 7:53 pm #
I was making up my bed and there was a spider under the comforter :Þ I thought of you
Karen Hawkins on 24 Feb 2007 at 10:35 pm #
EEEEK!!! A spider IN YOUR BED? There’s no worse place, believe me. Except in your hair. THAT might be worse.
Uhm, now that I’ve written that, I have to go and comb my hair. It all ITCHES.
dbrown3400 on 25 Feb 2007 at 6:18 pm #
Stingers. Wasps, bumblebees, hornets, yellow jackets (although someone told me that they are the same thing as hornets — do I look like I care) but anything with a stinger flying anywhere in my vacinity scares me to pieces. I have never invaded their territory so they can stay out of mine. I was stung by one of those yellow jacket/hornet thingees once and it wasn’t so bad. It was probably having a bad day so I don’t want to take a chance by getting stung by any of them again.
I can handle snakes and spiders, I guess because I know where the bad kinds live and THEY DON’T FLY AND HAVE STINGERS! But I agree with all of you that if it is something we are afraid of it doesn’t matter if it is harmless or not. it can be petrifying. Did someone hear a buzzing sound in here?
Donna
TheNightPoet on 25 Feb 2007 at 11:27 pm #
Bees are something I don’t like very much either. I’m not scared of them, I can keep calm while they buzz around me and usually they leave me alone after I don’t appear to be afraid of them. But when I was a little kid, I was stung by a bee on the top of my head!! Talk about hurting. I got this great idea that I would be like Winnie the Pooh and get the honey out of the tree. haha Yeah, silly me. I guess I pissed off the bees, one for sure and that one chased after me and stung and my dad had to flick the bee off of my head. The stinger was still stuck in my head though. We didn’t realize it. I kept complaining that my head still hurt and so my dad realized the stinger was still in and took it out. But surprisingly I’m not scared of bees, I just know not to piss them off now. lol
Karen, that clown video game sounds pretty dang creepy. I’m only relieved that my brother hasn’t discovered it yet. He would “torture” me by playing it over and over again, with the music turned up loud. Him and my dad, this last Halloween, were going to buy the actual “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” masks!!! (one of the stores here had them) They were going to be “funny” and wake me up wearing the masks!!! Talk about cruel!! But they really didn’t do it and thankfully never bought the masks. They wouldn’t be that cruel, they might play a prank on me when I’m not expecting it, but I don’t think they’d be cruel enough to wake me up with a clown mask on. (especially since they know how scared of them I am!!)
Andrea
Karen Hawkins on 26 Feb 2007 at 12:25 am #
Andrea, if someone wearing a clown mask woke me up in the middle of the night from a deep sleep … oh dear, I don’t even want to think about it! It would be Very Bad for the person in the mask. Fear can make the shivery very strong indeed!
As for bees … dbrown, my son is TERRIFIED of bees because he accidentally ran into a yellow jacket swarm when he was about ten and playing army with some friends in the woods. Even now, if a bee buzzes around him, he gets a bit panicky.
It’s funny how we get scared of something, then don’t Get Over It. It just sort of lingers, doesn’t it? Like a bad penny.
TheNightPoet on 26 Feb 2007 at 4:55 pm #
I agree with you Karen. If my dad and brother or anyone else for that matter, ever woke me up while wearing a clown mask, I know I would come up swinging! It might not be a pretty sight. I agree it would be as you said, “…Very Bad for the person in the mask.”
It’s too bad that incident happened to your son. Poor guy, here he was just playing with his friends and being a “manly man” and then a swarm of yellow jackets has to ruin his fun.
And yes, it does linger. It’s not fun is it?
Andrea
P.S. I killed a very tiny spider today and thought of all of you! lol
Karen Hawkins on 26 Feb 2007 at 9:42 pm #
Andrea, that’s so funny you thought of me today because I saw an advertisement for a horror movie where a ventriloquist and her dummies kill people and she looked so much like a clown, I thought, “Oh, Andrea’d hate that movie!”
I’m NOT going to see it myself. –Shudder!–
TheNightPoet on 27 Feb 2007 at 3:16 pm #
haha Karen that is so funny that we both thought of each other yesterday! That movie sounds scary!! You’re right I would so hate that movie!! It sounds freaky. ‘Cringe!!”
Andrea
Dianna on 03 Mar 2007 at 5:23 pm #
Spiders, ugh!!!! I am kind of like you, fairly independant, learned to do just about anything I have to but that does not extend to “bugs in any shape or form. My rule of thumb is this, if it has more than for legs, I hate it! Mice, moles, I do not necessarily love but I don’t go into screaming fits if I encounter one. Actually as a kid I was fine, it wasn’t until I hit junior high and discovered what those things look like under a microscope that I became phobic about them. And in this one instance reading was not my friend. Lenigen Versus the Ants had a hand in causing the dread “cringe” disease when I see an ant. Actually while reading all the answers, I think I might have a major problem here, I can relate to just about every fear that is mentioned so far. One that I have not seen mentioned is if I get scared of anything, (movie, book, etc.) I cannot put my feet on the floor, I have this totally unreasonable fear that “something” is going to come out from under whatever piece of furniture I am on and get me, (movie I saw as a child had hands that could do that), I have been known to reach the relative safety of my bed and only touch the ground 3 time. Thank you so much ladies for letting me know I am not alone with my little phobias.
I think I am going to go to bed now with a nice romance that has only handsome hunks and no spiders, mice, snakes, crawling hands, etc., etc.
TheNightPoet on 07 Mar 2007 at 12:04 am #
Karen!! I just saw that preview you were talking about!!!! It scared me so much that I ended up screaming and my brother told me to pretty much suck it up and to stop covering my eyes!!! I told him that I couldn’t look at it anymore and he just was quiet while he watched the rest of it. You’re definitely right, I WILL NOT be seeing that movie EVER in my lifetime!!! ’shudder’
Andrea
Karen Hawkins on 08 Mar 2007 at 9:11 am #
Andrea, it’s HORRIBLE, isn’t it? Yuck. I don’t like the ad even.
However, there is a funny clown ad out there where this clown is walking down an alley and all of the sudden a clown car crammed full of clowns comes careening down the alley at him. He runs. Someone throws a banana in front of him and he falls down so they catch up. They have a battle using balloons swords — his goes flat. And then they do the funniest Matrix-Like fight scene complete with special effects. Very cute! This may be one clown ad you could watch!
TheNightPoet on 08 Mar 2007 at 10:08 pm #
Karen, it is HORRIBLE!!! I agree, I hated the ad after seeing it!
That clown ad sounds pretty funny! I think you may be right, I just might be able to watch that ad. lol I’ll keep an eye out for it. It sounds entertaining.
This could be the one clown thing I could come to like. lol But I stress the use of the word ONE. haha
Andrea