My Muse is a Perverted Slob
Feb 20th 2007
Julia LondonOn Writing!
That’s her, the one in the Wonder Woman suit. I always envisioned muses as Greek goddesses– like us –with long flowing robes and one of those round cherubic faces that never ages.
You know, like us.
:-)
That’s the kind of muse I’d like to have.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been very careful about where I get them, and this time, I ended up with a sloppy broad who smokes too much and drinks like a fish and thinks flatulence is funny. Oh, and she likes to dress up. She’s worthless! She makes me work for every nugget—and that’s when she’s not being downright destructive. She’s been known to whisper things in my ear, like “do you really need to describe the house? A house is a house, isn’t it?” Or, “250 pages is a good novel length. What were you going to put in the other 150 pages anyway?”
I finally kicked her out the other day. She hadn’t inspired me to anything other than eating, and really, once I thought about it, I realized she hadn’t contributed to anything but the grocery bill all winter. So the other day when she started in on me with those subliminal reminders that there was a pan of brownies in the kitchen, and maybe if I had one…just one…I could finish the chapter, I said, “That’s IT! You’re outta here!”
She. Would. Not. Leave. We wrestled—she’s tough as an old boot—but eventually I shoved her out onto the back porch. That exhausted her, so she lay in the chaise and had a smoke or two and used the pool as her ashtray. But then she started hovering around the house, peering in the windows and making noises about needing water, or at the very least, a beer. Then she just got nasty and started calling me names I will not repeat here. And finally—finally—she faded away like all my other bad muses.
Which means I am currently museless. Some people panic with the muse deserts them, but not me! I love getting a new muse, because I find them between pages of good books and in the frames of good movies, or on my iPod when I am on the treadmill. It is amazing how just a little bit of creative input will suddenly kick-start your brain into thinking. Ideas that have been knocking around in my head start to blossom like magic mushrooms. And better still, no one is calling me names.
The trick is being careful about where you get your muse. When you see a slob poking her head around the corner whispering wouldn’t a glass of wine relax you and help you think, or, hey, let’s knock off and go for a swim to clear the cobwebs, my advice is to run, because pretty soon she’ll be smoking in your house and lying around with the zapper in one hand and a Bud in the other. When that happens, get rid of her and pick up a good book instead.
What’s your muse? What’s your favorite go-to book or movie when you need a little pick me up? How many songs do you have on your iPod, and just for me, because I fired my muse and need more inspiration, who was the last artist you put on your iPod?
42 Comments »
42 Responses to “My Muse is a Perverted Slob”
Karen Hawkins on 20 Feb 2007 at 8:22 am #
Oh, Julia, PLEASE don’t chase your muse away. She may come to MY house and I don’t have a single Bud in the fridge. You know how she gets without her Bud, too . . . shudder!
Whenever I get stuck, I clean the house (which I find so repulsive that suddenly writing seems pretty fun), call and chat with other writers who complain about how sucky THEIR muse is which helps me to accept that perhaps it’s a part of the process, or I re-read a Georgette Heyer book and wonder if I could invent my own genre just for fun. Those’ll usually get me jump started.
And I have a new ipod shuffle for the gym and the last artist I loaded was The White Stripes. Loooove them!
Stacy ~ on 20 Feb 2007 at 8:51 am #
I need a muse. Maybe I’ll advertise for one because cleaning just ain’t gonna happen LOL.
Right now my favorite pick-me-up books are Lisa Kleyas’ and Judith McNaught’s historicals. I just sigh with happiness when I read them. As for my ipod, I got it about 2 months ago and I have only about 15 songs on it. I’m loving Gwen Stefani’s new stuff, and Keith Urban’s latest album.
Nicole Jordan on 20 Feb 2007 at 10:03 am #
ROFL!!!! Julia, that is hilarious! Thanks for making my day.
My fave pick-me-up is the A&E version of Pride & Prejudice. Or the A&E version of Anne of Green Gables. Love the book, too. If I’m feeling down, those two work every time to make me happier. And if I’m feeling unmotivated, I just read the next romance in my TBR pile. That usually makes me remember what I love about romance novels and starts the creative juices flowing. Then I jot down ideas on my lists *G*.
And I don’t own an IPOD yet… No time to listen if I did! But I would really love to download a bunch of my old faves and burn them onto a CD. We have a 100-disc CD player, and usually put it on random when we’re reading the paper or have friends over.
NicoleJ
kimber on 20 Feb 2007 at 10:20 am #
That is one scarry looking muse. If that was lurking around my home I’d be hiding under the bed. Anyway, when I need to clear my head I too clean the house or in my case a room in my house at a time since that is about all I can get to in one day. Or, if I’m frustrated, I go out to my garden and start furiously pulling weeds. An hour or so of that and I usually can’t remember what I was mad about in the first place. Then I can get back to normal (ha).
Love the blog, I stop here for a good laugh in the morning. lol, kim
Suzanne Enoch on 20 Feb 2007 at 11:35 am #
Good gravy. Your muse just scared my muse to death. Not a great loss, though. In her prime my muse was easily distracted by Geiko commercials and clouds and the postman.
My most frequent reread is probably Harper Lee’s TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. That book is a work of art.
Ipod-wise, I don’t have one. But I like Chumbawumba’s “I Get Knocked Down”. Before I got the CD at first I thought the refrain was “I Get No Trout.” It’s still good now, though.
Suzanne “oh, look, a butterfly” Enoch
Sabrina Jeffries on 20 Feb 2007 at 12:30 pm #
I LOVE that Chumbawumba song, Suzanne! I was just thinking that I want to add that to my Ipod/Itunes. I don’t use my Ipod much anymore, since I write on the laptop and I have all my music on there, but the last thing I added to my Itunes was John Tams, The Reckoning. He was the guy on the Sharpe’s Rifles movies who did the singing. I liked his voice, so I thought I’d try his albums. They’re great! If you like folk, that is, which I do.
blåveis on 20 Feb 2007 at 12:44 pm #
my creative muse is one of those that always turn up in the worst possible moments. Like, the week before an important exam. so instead of thinking and reading about the serious stuff my head is full of cool sewing projects and interesting words and drawing and… pink elephants, so I tell myserf:after the exam then..! but she leaves about the hour I step out of the classroom after the wxam and is never seen again taking with her even the pink elephants. until next time.
but i do not think returning to studies is going to become the latest fave against writers block
as for the pick me up, I like to watch spongebob.
no ipod, but last music that was bought was nora jones, and also bach, bossa nova and annie lennox diva-album and Sheila Chandra are on my mp3
congrats on the blog!
Julia London on 20 Feb 2007 at 12:49 pm #
This is great! I just last night shipped off a very very very late manuscript. Today, I am crusing Itunes and listening to all the stuff you guys are listening to. What a frapcious, muse-free day!
Sabrina Jeffries on 20 Feb 2007 at 12:54 pm #
Ooh, I’ve been wanting to try Sheila Chandra. She’s on my wishlist. Do you like her? I liked the one song she had on Pure Moods III, Ever So Lonely/Eyes/Ocean, so I figured I’d try an album. I discover most of my favorites from compilation albums.
Adrienne on 20 Feb 2007 at 1:14 pm #
Watching Pride and Prejudice always inspires me as well, Nicole, but I was spending five hours watching it every time. So I bought the soundtrack, put it on my computer and listen to it as I write. Of course, now I miss watching it every week.
Maria Duncan on 20 Feb 2007 at 1:46 pm #
My favourite go to book would have to be Darkest Longings by Susan lewis, amazing. Pride & Prejudice is the movie. I have 2500 songs on my ipod and Damien Rice’s new album was the last one I added
blåveis on 20 Feb 2007 at 2:08 pm #
Sheil Chandra is great! not that i have that many cd’s, (tight budget) but i could listen to her voice for ever.
(discovered her through the film music to lotr.)
Monsoon feat. Sheila Chandra is great, but really, any cd will be splendid!
Julia London on 20 Feb 2007 at 2:19 pm #
Wow, Maria, that’s a LOT of songs! And here’s a coinkydink — the last artist I downloaded was Damien Rice’s new cd, too. Love the Rice.
Sheila Chandra — what a find! I’d never heard of her before today.
OV_099 on 20 Feb 2007 at 2:24 pm #
Well, reading I might go to one of the books I have on my very favorite shelf, usually an incredibly funny one to pick me up. Usually How to Marry a Marquis by Julia Quinn. But luckily it looks like I’m not the only one that might pop in P&P — although for a quicker time of it, I might just put in the second disk (with the lake) or watch part 1 one day and the second another or the following weekend.
My mp3 player, out long before there ever was an Ipod, and therefore ancient (heck, it’s a Compaq Ipaq pda and Compaq was bought by HP ages ago! LOL), I just got a 512MB Compact Flash card so I’m really happy I can put more. I always keep the 2004 Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on there, but also had last week P&P too. But I’m so happy because I finally figured out and got a couple of the songs in the movie that aren’t on the soundtrack, like the most important first dance between Lizzie and Mr. Darcy. But what a name - Mr. Beveridge’s Maggot.
Lois, who now can’t get the darn song out of her head since getting it!
FilmPhan on 20 Feb 2007 at 3:49 pm #
As a pick me up, I listen to the “Shall We Dance” soundtrack (because it makes me get up and dance) or “40 Year Old Virgin” soundtrack (the kareoke song is hilarious). I watch anything that has Gerard Butler in it and my spirits are immediently lifted. Who wouldn’t be happy looking at that handsome face? Also the movie “Down with Love.” It is a great romantic comedy. My favorite. What is even funnier, are the bloopers. Those are the best bloopers that I have ever seen. I have tried to find bloopers that compare but I haven’t had any luck at all.
Claudia Dain on 20 Feb 2007 at 4:20 pm #
I love your muse! She’s got…character. I wish I had a muse; any muse in any outfit would be great.
What I do when I need to rev my engines is to go for a drive and listen to the radio. Sometimes love songs, sometimes rock, sometimes country, sometimes Mozart. You just never know where the muse is hiding.
If that fails, watching a movie musical always does it. Anything with Judy Garland or Fred Astaire; Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blonds or Some Like It Hot; Doris Day sparring with Rock Hudson. Movies that make me feel good. Movies that make me grin. Movies that remind me that love is fun.
leanna on 20 Feb 2007 at 5:01 pm #
James Morrison is my latest ipod addition. I have the 30g video as a guilt gift from hubby from when he bought a really “spensive” computer.
Right now I have about 4 days worth of muse-ic to sooth me after stressful days. That’s with no repeats. Ive added 90% of my home collection to the ipod.
But back to James Morrison: He’s a young Brit with a wonderful song that I accidently discovered when my itunes accidently got shifted to the UK shopping page. After about 3 months of frustration, it became available in the US. FOR FREE!! It’s one of the promo new artist downloads. Hurry you may still be able to get it. You Give Me Something is the song title. Even at .99, it’s worth it.
Karen Rose on 20 Feb 2007 at 5:45 pm #
Oh, man! I love the, um, funnel-things on your muse, Julia. She’s one scary sight.
My muse is like Wormtongue, hissing into Theodan’s mind. You can’t. You need chocolate. I need chocolate. Why did you think you could make a living doing this anyway? My muse needs to go, too!!! But I’ll send it the opposite direction of Julia’s muse. I shudder to think of the cataclysmic results of an alliance between WW and Wormtongue. Ew. That’s just nasty.
My latest addition to my MP3 is Josh Groban’s AWAKE - I love his CLOSER cd better, but anything he sings is wonderful. When I need a pick-me-up I watch a Law&Order episode or two. Or twelve if it’s a marathon. I mourn Lenny still.
Sabrina Jeffries on 20 Feb 2007 at 5:53 pm #
Deb Marlowe and I are both convinced that Law & Order hasn’t been the same since Jerry Orbach died. We love Lenny!!
But I still watch all of them. I’m a L&O addict.
Laura T on 20 Feb 2007 at 5:59 pm #
Hi Julia! This is too funny. I love the picture! And the ashes in the pool? I can’t wait for you to get the new muse so we can read the benefits!
I need a housekeeping muse. And a chef muse. A writing muse, as well. But not before the laundry muse.
Laura T on 20 Feb 2007 at 6:01 pm #
oh and… The last thing on my ipod ended up being “Cows” by Sandra Boynton and the Philadelphia Chickens… not too much help there haha.
Anita M on 20 Feb 2007 at 6:38 pm #
Julia , wise choice on your muse , i like the original wonder woman was better , lol . when i need a pick me upper like Nicole i normally go for a TBR pile which normally does the trick if not music always does , i don’t have an ipod but a mp3 ( kind of behind on the technology) but i normally down load my music and i have about 1000 songs on my computer and the last that i down loaded today , lol, was Robbie Williams greatest hits and IL DIVO i am a all kind of music girl , one of my recommendations if you like that kind of music is
Sarah Brightman - Divas the singles collection . and Julia i happy to hear about your manuscript time to take a breather , would that be book 3 in your new series ? LOL
enjoy the rest of the day lady’s :o) better luck with your new muses !!
Anita M on 20 Feb 2007 at 6:46 pm #
oh! no muse here , but like Nicole a book from my TBR pile normllay does the trick , if not i turn to music i will lissen to Sarah Britghtman - Divas and that will refresh me , i have about 1000 songs in my computer and an old mp3 player , lol with about 280 songs, the last one was Robbie Williams and
Il Divo group , i like all kinds of genres .
Julia enjoy your breather i ‘m happy - that means another book is on it’s way to us :o) enjoy the rest of the day Goddesses !!
RachelG on 20 Feb 2007 at 7:21 pm #
Well Julia, at least your muse visits. Mine has been MIA for years. A friend and I were just talking about the muse today over our favorite work avoidance activity–lunch. We’d like a visit from the muse. Any muse, ’cause it has to beat staring at the blinking curser as it ticks off the minutes, hours and days.
Whenever I need inspiration, I watch movies like Pride and Prejudice–A&E version with Colin Firth, of course. Sweet Home Alabama and one of my all time favs, Pretty In Pink.
I am the only person in my house without an ipod. I buy CDs and play them on my computer while I work. What I listen to usually depends on the book I am writing. At the moment, the book is set in Texas so I’m listening to Toby Keith, Trace Atkins and Gretchen Wilson.
dbrown3400 on 20 Feb 2007 at 8:35 pm #
Luckily I don’t need a muse. I’m a pharmacy technician and the pharmacist gets testy if I change the docs instructions too much. I do however have a favorite book retreat in Johanna Lindsey’s Gentle Rogue. James Malory makes me laugh after many readings as does the rest of the Malory family in each of their books. But James has a place in my heart and I’ve read him again and again.
Each of you Goddesses have people that inspire me to reread but seeing Julia’s muse makes me wonder if I’m missing some subliminal message. My music selections are all over the charts but the last iPod load was Solilquy from Carousel by Gordon MacRae.
Julia, are those granny drawers hangin’ down off your muse? Donna
Julia London on 20 Feb 2007 at 10:27 pm #
You know, Donna, I have tried not to get close enough to look and see what sort of drawers they are.
Soliliquy by Gordon McRae. SIGH. That takes me back. I was in Carousel in High School, and the guy who played the part (was it Billy? Can’t remember the name of the role) — anyway, he was my first heart-throbbing definitely-in-love crush.
So thanks you guys! I have checked out every recommendation, and I am downloading from all of them, with the exception of Toby Keith (already got it), Damien Rice (got it), and….sorry Laura, but I checkout your recommendation, and while I believe in Cow Planet–and that peas are very lonely–it just didn’t have the right beat to it :-). Lois, I couldn’t seem to find Mr. Beverige’s Maggot.
Judy on 21 Feb 2007 at 12:36 am #
Aww, I think I’m very late in this convo :’(. I don’t have one comfort book, since all the books I keep are definitely a favorite, but help shorten the generization (did that make sense?) I usually reread a romance novel, and it really depends on what I’m in the mood for when it comes to choosing which author.
As for iPod new artist input, Fall Out Boy’s new CD, Infinity On High. I’m obsessed with Fall Out Boy and I’m not afraid to admit it, but obsession aside, This CD is just awesome, they really did a great job in capturing a new style while staying true to what they do best. I truly recommend anyone to try out their new CD! The exclamation point was partly the obsession’s fault
ericaleigh on 21 Feb 2007 at 1:36 am #
2 cheers for James Malory!!! This is one of my all time favorite characters. I’m not sure if it was because it was one of the first romances I really read, stayed up all night to finish this book. Gentle Rogue is also my most well loved copy, it no longer has the cover, the book is taped together with packing tape and some pages are lose. This is one copy I would NEVER loan out to anyone.
I’ve been on an 80’s binge lately (Cyndi Lauper, Tears for Fears, The Bangles). Has everyone heard that the 80’s are totally coming back?!?!?! Everywhere I look I see 80’s trends in the stores and tonight when I was as Wal-Mart that was all they were playing.
My muse gets geared up right when I am on my way to work or always when I don’t have a writing implement handy. Same thing with my motivation to clean…always when I don’t have enough time to finish because I have to go to work.
TheNightPoet on 21 Feb 2007 at 1:59 pm #
Well I have 106 songs on my iPod as of now. I just downloaded some new songs from iTunes, so I’ll be adding those onto it as well. I think the last song I added to my list was “If” by Bread.
Yes ericaleigh, I agree with you about the 80’s coming back. Some of the fashion from the 80’s just needs to die and stay in the 80’s! Like ruffles! I’m sorry if anyone hear likes to wear ruffles, but I hate to wear them! Ruffles are a hideous fashion that should not come back! And leggins are scary too!
I don’t have a certain book or movie I go to when I need a little pick me up. It just depends on my mood. I have a certain cd I usually listen to when I need a little pick me up. Middle of Nowhere by Hanson. It does the trick, if I’m feeling down, I just put that cd in and before I know it, I’m feeling better and have an extra step when I walk.
~Andrea
Susan K on 21 Feb 2007 at 4:46 pm #
I can’t seem to find my muse. I think she’s hiding from me. Occasionally she’ll pop up. Usually when I’m at work and then once I get home she’s hiding again.
My favorite go-to movies would be Moulin Rouge & Dead Poets Society. I don’t really have one go-to book. Just whatever sounds good at the time.
I don’t have an I-Pod but right now all I’m listening to is Justin Timberlake’s Future Sex/Love Sound. Just saw him in concert on Feb. 3 and again this past Monday night. It was absolutely awesome!!!!!!!!!
Julia London on 21 Feb 2007 at 11:09 pm #
I agree about ruffles!
I saw Justin Timberlake on something–oh yeah, the Grammys, LOL — loved him. Will add him to my list.
80s. Hmmm….George Michael springs to mind. But that’s about all I can remember from the 80s. I think I had an actual job then,
— no time for music shopping.
And I guess I am the only one who has never read about James Mallory? What book, what author? I am intrigued!
TheNightPoet on 21 Feb 2007 at 11:50 pm #
Julia, I haven’t read about James Mallory yet either. At least I don’t think I have. His name sounds familiar, but then again, I’m not sure. Yes, who is James Mallory and where can I read his story?? lol
~Andrea
Susan K on 22 Feb 2007 at 8:43 am #
James Malory is from Johanna Lindsey’s Malory series. His book is Gentle Rogue (which is book number 3) but he appears in all the other books in the series. He was my first (literary) love.
Julia London on 22 Feb 2007 at 9:55 am #
I will definitely have to check that one out–
Sherri Browning Erwin on 22 Feb 2007 at 12:18 pm #
Julia! Your muse just showed up at my house stinking drunk, claiming she has nowhere else to go. She was talking all kinds of trash about you, how you take all the credit for her good ideas and just sit around whining about how hard it is to write and drinking all the good wine in the house leaving the Mad Dog 20/20 for her. She said you don’t even offer a decent compensation package, muttered something about you not sharing your brownies, and then she threw up all over my rug. Not to worry- I bought her plane fare home and arranged for a car to take her to your house from the airport. I know how you must miss her. What are friends for?
P.S. I mailed you my cleaning bill for the carpet, but you don’t have to rush to send me a check. I’ll just get it from you when I see you again. Kiss kiss!
Julia London on 22 Feb 2007 at 1:14 pm #
Oh, so sorry…we moved last night. She’s too stupid to ever find us.
Sherri Browning Erwin on 22 Feb 2007 at 1:27 pm #
As long as she doesn’t come back here. But you should warn your fellow TX authors that she is on the loose. You never know where she might turn up next. At least now I know what to think when my cleaning bill comes back stamped Return to Sender.
rumolay on 22 Feb 2007 at 11:28 pm #
Where on earth did you dig up that picture? *shudder* I may be scarred for life.
Hope you find a new, more appealing muse soon.
TheNightPoet on 23 Feb 2007 at 12:00 am #
Thanks SusanK for letting me know about who James Mallory was! I feel kind of silly knowing he’s from a Johanna Lindsey book. (another words I feel like I should have known that. haha) I read her books as well, but I have yet to read her Mallory series. Definitely on my list of books to read. haha Uh-oh the lists have followed me here now!! Someone save me!!!
Andrea
Julia London on 23 Feb 2007 at 11:35 am #
hahaha…no kidding, Andrea. The lists–and in my case, the actual books on the list—hover about everywhere!
TheNightPoet on 24 Feb 2007 at 12:05 am #
haha Tell me about it Julia!!! I tend to have slips of paper in various places and then I end up losing them. Then I come across them later and remember that I was going to look into that author or finish whatever is on that list. They never disappear! lol
Andrea
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